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Hey, this is Sirhan Frivatsya. Welcome back to the Business School podcast. And one of the biggest questions I get asked is sron, what about work life balance? Why harmony matters more than balance? Or forget work life balance and focus on alignment and fulfillment. Or work life balance is a method and balance is overrated. What is it really? I've realized that work life balance, in a lot of ways is keeping your promises to yourself and actually thinking about this intentionally because each of us has a different definition of balance. And my definition of balance is not going to be yours, and you have to find yours. And so I actually break down for you the work life balance formula, the things that you need to know to put in place so that you never feel guilty ever again, you never feel out of balance ever again, you don't feel burned out ever again, and you feel like you are marching down a really fulfilling path so that you can get exactly what you want from life and change the very fabric of the environment and happiness of people around you. This is the work life balance formula. And it's all starting, breaking down step by step, starting right now.

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One thing is for certain, just because it's tried and true doesn't mean it's working right now. So the big question is this. Where can you learn what is working right now?

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The strategies, the tactics, the psychology, and the exact how to.

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How to grow your business, how to blow up your personal brand and supercharge your personal growth. That is the question. And this podcast will give you the answer. My name is Sharon Srivata, and welcome to Business school.

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Oh, boy. Today I want to talk about work life balance or the illusion of work life balance. And people talk about work life harmony, work life myth, work life, all of that. But I really want to talk about how you can create systems, set boundaries, and live intentionally every day. That's it. How to create systems, set boundaries, and live intentionally every day. Because at the end of the day, you are built to be your finest and best version of yourself. How do you actually get there? Work life balance is often discussed, but is it truly achievable for entrepreneurs and business owners? Is it truly achievable? And I will tell you that I'm a living example of a complete work life imbalance. And that's okay. And I want to tell you about how I got here. Whether I'm in a good spot or a bad spot. You can choose. But there is not the truth. There is only your truth. We often talk about, you know, the fact that I'm not going to tell you to eat oatmeal. I'm not going to say, hey, you should eat oatmeal because it's good for you. No, I'm only going to say, hey, I eat oatmeal and here's why. So today I'm going to tell you about why I believe that work life balance is an illusion and how I'm going to tell you about what I am doing to solve this, because I think about this a lot. I have we run a publicly traded company, which is a multibillion dollar publicly traded company. We have 22,000 plus people around North America. I still have several of my founders and CEOs that I have invested in that I advise and mentor. You know, I have a fairly large sized personal brand. I create content. I still have a family. I still have to work on my health. I have friends. I have a social life. Like all the things that you and I do, hobbies and all of that. We do all the things that we do. But how do we get exactly what we want from the work life balance perspective? So here's what I want to kind of start with the first Is there the myth of work life balance? Did you know that 77% of professionals say that they have experienced burnout at their current job? And why? Because there's just no balance. Because there is an illusion. Because you can do anything but not everything. Great. David Allen Court. Right. You can do anything, but not everything. And so I have two ideas for you. Idea number one is it's actually okay to kind of shift priorities seasonally. If you're going into the holiday season, you can kind of like use that to reinvigorate, recuperate and reenergize yourself. If you're going into a busy season, you know that you need to rest and work hard and create capacity. What are the growth seasons? What are the recovery seasons? There's no way you can continuously pound it and burn it at both ends over and over again. You need a way to recover. And it's not a weekend. You can't bust it all week and then take Friday and Saturday off. There's a lot of inertia there. So you need time, time to slow the rhythm of your work down. People think that they can rest in between their work. You can't, you can't do that. That's like saying, hey, I play in the NFL and I have a bye week. Well, the bye week may help you recover a little bit for to perform better the next week, but it doesn't allow you to beat burnout. It doesn't allow you to get over tough things. So you need to manage the rhythm of how you live your life. And sometimes you go slow, sometimes you go hard, sometimes you go harder, sometimes you say yes, sometimes you say no. You and I need to know the season in life that we're in. And so that's kind of like number one. The second is I'm going to highly recommend you do this, is to audit your schedule and your time. Now, the old thinking process around this is, hey, every time you do something, write it down like you are never going to do that. The people that actually can do that exercise, which is write down everything that they're doing and all the tasks that they're working on and do this time study, they are not going to have a problem with this because they're already wired that way. The high drivers, the high ambitious people are the ones that are going to struggle because, like, you couldn't pay me money to track my time. I would never do. I think it's a waste of time to track my time. So what I did instead was I knew that I had to do it. So I just installed a piece of software. I think my piece of software is called Rise. I think it's R I Z or something like that. It just runs on the back of my Mac and it just catalogs everything that I'm doing. And every week it tells me where I spend all my time. And then I can make a couple of quick tweaks on what I actually did and gives me a really good inventory of where I spend my time. And now that's been super helpful to me because I know where I'm spending my time and what's actually important because it allows me to understand and not just guess, right? So that's kind of number one, the myth of a work life balance. Here's number two. And this is where you can solve this illusion of work life balance and to communicate what's important to you and to others. Most people are just too afraid to do that. Most people are afraid to tell their spouses or partners or friends that they are workaholics or they get a lot of their joy from work or they have to do something for their work or that they need to rest or they need to relax or they need to go to bed early. They're afraid to tell them that. Did you know that couples who actually discuss their goals are 42% more likely to actually achieve them? That's amazing, right? And so here's the Interesting part about when my wife tells me something, I've learned this is the most important thing in communication is hearing what is not said. It's a great pre to Drucker quote by the way. The most important thing in communication is hearing what is not said. So what does that mean? My wife and I have had this very important discussion which is during business hours essentially in my world, 6am to 6pm I'm busy. So she can't put anything on my calendar during that time. We've already agreed to that. Before 6am or after 6pm I'll do whatever is needed. A lot of my children play sports and a lot of their practices are towards the end of the day, like practices between 7 and 9pm So I do all the pickups and all these practices because she and I agreed that it's not doing work hours so I can do that. If I have to travel, I don't have to ask permission. I've already free built the thing that I have to travel means that's going to prioritize what I have to do so we know what is important. If I have to work on the weekend, I don't have to check in with my wife that I have to work on the weekend. I do whatever I need to do because just like if she wants to go on a trip or she needs to do something, she does whatever she does. And we are in full alignment with that. I don't have to check in on anything. There's no expectations. I'm not going to get the evil eye or anything like that because we have a very good understanding that I'm not out drinking with the boys. Like I'm not out playing 12 rounds of golf. I'm not out at the gun range. I'm not out like racing cars, I'm not out like flying jets and, and playing poker. That's not what I'm doing. I'm doing things that are good for two people. One, it's good for the family because it generates, you know, income and wealth for the families. The, it makes the family safe from that perspective. And number two, it keeps me engaged, it keeps me focused and it keeps me working and I get a sense of purpose doing that. So communicating that is really, really important. I don't have to check in on that because of that. If I'm on my computer or on my phone when my children come to talk to me, they're like, hey dad, are you working? Can I talk to you? Right, so there's very clear expectations because if I say I'm working, my kids leave me alone because they know that there's a priority when it's do that, I don't have to feel guilty about it. If you can eliminate guilt, right? If you can just eliminate guilt, a lot of things go better because you don't have to have this real difficult kind of like, oh my gosh, I have to get home and I have to be present. But you're there, but you're not really there. And that's really, really terrible. When I'm present, I'm there. When I'm not there, I'm okay to be called out on. That's totally fine. So that's number two, which is communicate what's important and make sure you're in full alignment. Right. Number three, I started talking about this. You just got to eliminate guilt. And you can do that by creating boundaries. I don't know if you know this, but studies show that over 70% of people feel guilty for taking time off work leading to burnout. Like, I'll give you something crazy. We as a company went from getting X number of vacation days to unlimited vacations. And all that we say in unlimited vacations is one, it has to be approved by your manager, of course, and then two, you need to have the backfill done. And that's very normal. Here's what's crazy. Most of our high achievers never take even the original preset days because they felt guilty for taking time off. That's crazier. So you just have to remove guilt. You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage, pleasantly, smilingly, non apologetically to say no to other things. Say it again. You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage, pleasantly, smilingly, unapologetically, to say no to other things. I think that Stephen Covey said something like that. And if that means you have to have a no meeting afternoon, or if that means you have to block off like two of your mornings to work, it is what it is because you just have to eliminate guilt. The question you have to ask yourself is, what would make me feel guilty and then remove that guilt. And all of those are just non negotiable boundaries. Most people don't say no to things. And you know why? Because they just don't know how to say no gracefully. So if someone wanted me to be on their podcast, right. I don't do a lot of podcasts, but if I do, and people ask all the time, I feel very grateful that they want me on their show. But I don't do a lot of them. I do some, but I don't do a lot of them. And I know how to say no gracefully. I say the truth. I'm like, hey, I'm really jammed up. I'm not doing a lot of podcasts, like, let's check back in next year. I mean, if my schedule opens up, I'm happy to do it, which is the truth. But you have to say no gracefully, right? That's number one. If you could just solve that one thing, it makes things very, very easy. Just by learning to say no gracefully, I'll give you a second idea, which is the idea of a quota system. I use this often. So on average every year, I do 50 keynotes right? In these 50 keynotes. I do 50 in person keynotes a year. So when people start booking me for keynotes, I like this year in 20 where I'm recording this, in 2024, I'm already done with my 50 keynotes. I'm going to go over. So when people are like, hey, Sharon, can you come speak at our event? I'm like, I can't, because I've already. I'm over my quota on the number of keynotes I said that I was going to do this year. And then people just leave you alone. They're like, hey, maybe I can catch up with you next year. So it works really well. It's a good thing overall, right? So my question for you is, if you learn to say no gracefully and then you have a quota system for things, it allows you to not feel guilty because most people don't like to say no, because you just don't know how to say no. That's the problem most of the time. And that's what we want to, like, continuously avoid. Here's number four. To do great things, we must do fewer things, right? To do great things, we must do fewer things. And we all know that 80% of results come from the 20% effort and all of that. But to do great things, we must do fewer things. There's a really cool Leonard Bernstein quote, and he says, to achieve great things, two things are needed. A plan and not quite enough time. Listen to that. To achieve great things, two things are needed. A plan and not quite enough time. And I don't know if you've heard the story of Warren Buffett and his pilot. I don't know his pilot's name. We just call him Mike, right? Mike comes to Warren Buffett and says, yeah, Mr. Buffett, you've done a lot of amazing things in your life. I want to achieve my goals. Can you give me some advice? And then Buffett tells Mike, hey, Mike, I want you to write down the 25 things that you really want to achieve in your life. Write down a list of 25 goals. So Mike goes back to the cop in the cockpit when they're flying. He comes back and he's like, all right, Mr. Buffett, I have my 25 goals. And then Warren Buffett looks at him and says, you know what? Out of these 25 goals, I want you to circle the five most important ones to you, just the top five. And so Mike says, I need some time. So he circles the five most important goals. Then what happens? He comes back to Mr. Buffett. He's like, I circle my five most important goals. And he tells Warren Buffett what it is. And then Buffett asked Mike to promise him. He's like, promise me. Promise me that you're only going to focus on those five and the bottom 20 you will never, ever look at again until those top five are done. Imagine that he took his 25 most important things that he wants, and he eliminated the bottom 20 of those. He eliminated that. That's crazy if you think about it, right? And that's what it takes to do great things. We must do fewer things. Calling the. Identifying the vital few and really understanding that to do great things, we must do fewer things. Last but not least, we've got to be true to ourselves. And what I mean by this is, most entrepreneurs, most high achievers, have one trait that most others don't. So if you're not paying attention, please pay attention. Now, people who keep promises to themselves report close to a 40% higher life satisfaction. Think about this. People who keep promises to themselves report 40% higher life satisfaction. In fact, there's a great Tony Robbins story. He says, personal integrity is by far the most important thing, the most powerful thing of keeping the promises that you make to yourself. And most people just break the promises. What is the idea? Like, you set your alarm for 5am and then you snooze, and then you wake up at seven. What does that mean? You told yourself that you'd wake up at five. You set the alarm to wake up at five. You made a promise to yourself that you'd wake up at five, but you didn't. You broke the promise that you made to yourself. The same exact thing. If when I look at my calendar, I'm like, I'm gonna follow my calendar to the T sometimes. Like, I'll go, you know, six Hours of meetings in a row. And then I'll put a 30 minute break which says pee break and pee and walk break, which means I'm just gonna take the 30 minutes to go pee and go walk. I follow my calendar to the T because I made a promise to myself the next day. I could just make whatever new promise that I want and I know I will get it done. I never have to worry about motivation. Keeping your promise to yourself is the most important thing because it allows you to be absolutely true to your self. When you say balance is overrated. When you say, you know, to master priorities, not balance. When you talk about like the work life harmony, myth, et cetera. Some people call it work life integration, which like. Thank you for introducing a new word in here. Whatever, nobody cares. The key is this. The key is creating systems and setting boundaries and living intentionally every single day because tomorrow is not promised. Can you create systems, set boundaries and live intentionally every single day? I gave you kind of five really big ideas. Idea number one was the myth of work life balance. Because you can do anything, but not everything. That's number one. Number two was to communicate what's important to you and to others. So you set expectations with people so that they know exactly where you stand about things. Number three is to eliminate guilt and create boundaries. And the easiest part is just stop with the guilt. Right? Just non negotiable boundaries. And the main idea is to say no gracefully. And that's if you know how to say no, it's much easier. Number four is to do great things. We must do a fewer things. I told you about the Warren Buffett story of the 25 goals and you only focus on the top five and you let the other bottom 20 go. And number five is to keep your promises to yourself. These are the things that actually allow you to have much better work life balance or work life integration or work life harmony or what have you. The work life harmony is not between your life and your work. The work life harmony is between the work with yourself and the life with yourself. It doesn't matter about the family, et cetera. Like you can't show up as a better version of yourself if you break promises to yourself. So to me, this work life balance myth is that I don't have the relationship between the work and myself and the life and myself. Because when I get my work life balance integrated, everybody is just fine with me. So I hope this is helpful to you. By the way, I don't know if you're walking or driving or in a car, etc. But if you like this episode, could you just screenshot, share this and tag me? Then I can make more like this for you. I know it's hard to like and subscribe and all of that, but in this case I sit here in isolation. I'm thinking about what would be helpful to you. Want to share my truth with you. Hopefully this has been helpful. Just take a screenshot, tag me, tell me this was good, or tell me if you liked it or what you specifically you liked and then I can make more like this for you. I remember Harvey Sliced greatness as a choice and I hope you keep your promise to yourself. Until then, catch you on the next one.