Our IVF Struggles With Parenthood & Marriage + Everything We Did To Have Our Daughter

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bussin' With The Boys – "Our IVF Struggles With Parenthood & Marriage + Everything We Did To Have Our Daughter"

Release Date: May 8, 2025
Host: Bussin' with the Boys (Will Compton & Taylor Lewan)
Description: Get on the bus with NFL players Will Compton & Taylor Lewan as they navigate the challenges of parenthood and marriage, sharing their personal journey through IVF.

---

Introduction: Breaking the Taboo of IVF

In this special Mother's Day episode, hosts Will Compton and his wife Charl Compton open up about their intimate journey through in vitro fertilization (IVF) to expand their family. Breaking away from their usual football-centric discussions, Will highlights the importance of addressing fertility struggles openly, especially for couples who often suffer in silence.

Will Compton [00:00]:
"We felt it was important to highlight my wife and her IVF journey because a lot of couples struggle in silence."
This marks the beginning of a heartfelt conversation aiming to shed light on the emotional and physical challenges of IVF.

Their Fertility Journey: From First Child to Expanding the Family

The Comptons recount the birth of their first child, Rue, detailing a relatively smooth pregnancy contrasted with Charl's unexpected complications. A benign dermoid cyst grew during her pregnancy, causing severe pain and necessitating surgery. Despite assurances from Charl's doctor that the surgery wouldn't impact their future fertility, it inadvertently affected their ability to conceive their second child.

Charl Compton [05:38]:
"I started having really terrible pain due to the cyst wrapping around my fallopian tube. It was excruciating."
This personal account underscores the unpredictability and physical toll of fertility issues.

Will describes the emotional strain of dealing with Charl's health crises, including a UTI leading to hospitalization, while simultaneously mourning his mother's passing and managing their burgeoning family.

Will Compton [08:52]:
"Charl was in the ER and I was out of town. It was a panic mode situation."
The juxtaposition of personal loss and medical emergencies paints a vivid picture of their struggles during this period.

Deciding to Pursue IVF: Navigating Unexplained Infertility

After a successful first pregnancy, the Comptons encountered unexplained infertility when trying for their second child. Age and Charl's pre-existing cyst contributed to their decision to skip multiple intrauterine inseminations (IUIs) and proceed directly to IVF, aiming to maximize their chances given their biological clock.

Charl Compton [16:23]:
"At 35, we knew egg quality begins to decline, so we opted to move straight to IVF to preserve our chances."
This strategic decision reflects their proactive approach in a high-stakes situation.

Will shares his experiences undergoing sperm analysis, highlighting the humbling aspects of fertility testing from a male perspective.

Will Compton [18:37]:
"Jerking off in a cup was a wild experience."
Humor is used to navigate the awkwardness of fertility procedures, making the conversation relatable and candid.

The IVF Process: Emotional and Physical Challenges

The Comptons delve into the complexities of IVF, detailing the hormone treatments, egg retrievals, and embryo transfers. They candidly discuss the high attrition rates of IVF, the meticulous medical procedures involved, and the emotional roller coaster of hope and fear.

Charl Compton [28:11]:
"Our fresh transfer was crucial to speeding up the process. We chose the best-graded embryo to maximize our chances."
This highlights the strategic decisions couples must make during IVF to optimize outcomes.

Will adds perspective on the procedural aspects, emphasizing the precision required during embryo transfer.

Will Compton [29:36]:
"They have to be insanely accurate to ensure the embryo implants correctly."
Technical insights provide listeners with a deeper understanding of the IVF process.

Emotional Impact on Marriage and Communication

The Compton's journey through IVF significantly tested their marriage, affecting communication, intimacy, and emotional well-being. Charl expresses feelings of isolation and frustration as she navigated the process physically and emotionally, while Will grappled with feeling helpless and striving to support his wife without fully experiencing the same struggles.

Charl Compton [48:52]:
"I felt so alone going through IVF. It was hard seeing you out there with your life while I was stuck at home."
Charl's vulnerability highlights the emotional disconnect that can arise during fertility treatments.

Will reflects on the challenges of being a supportive partner, acknowledging moments of insecurity and the difficulty of balancing empathy with his own emotional needs.

Will Compton [49:31]:
"It's a puzzle that's hard to know. Intimacy can be a lot different when you're going through this."
His introspection underscores the complexity of maintaining a healthy relationship amid infertility struggles.

Strategies for Coping and Maintaining Connection

To navigate the emotional turmoil, the Comptons emphasize the importance of communication, therapy, and celebrating small victories. Charl suggests maintaining external support networks and acknowledging incremental progress to foster hope and resilience.

Charl Compton [73:50]:
"Celebrate the little victories. It helps find the light and hope in the process."
Practical advice for those undergoing similar journeys, encouraging small steps toward maintaining positivity.

Will discusses the necessity of effective communication and the role of positive affirmation in staying connected as a couple.

Will Compton [75:19]:
"Stay connected and communicate effectively. Therapy was crucial for us."
Their acknowledgment of professional help highlights the benefits of seeking external support.

Parenting Reflections: Growth and Learning

Transitioning to parenting, the Comptons share insights on how becoming parents has altered their perspectives and relationships. Charl discusses the balance between maintaining control and embracing the unpredictable nature of parenting, while Will admires Charl's adaptability and intentionality as a mother.

Charl Compton [89:14]:
"Being a mom taught me to be okay with not being in control."
This realization underscores personal growth and the shift in mindset required for effective parenting.

Will appreciates Charl's ability to remain patient and present, recognizing the strength it brings to their family dynamic.

Will Compton [94:16]:
"You challenge me to be a better dad by being intentional and patient."
Complimenting Charl's parenting style reinforces the mutual support crucial in their marriage.

Humorous Interlude: Pet Peeves and Light-Hearted Moments

In a lighter segment, the Comptons engage in a playful exchange with their child Mitch, discussing pet peeves and sharing amusing anecdotes. These moments provide relief from the intense discussions, showcasing their harmonious and humorous side as a family.

Charl Compton [84:12]:
"My biggest pet peeve with Will is how frequently you lose things."
Shared laughter over everyday annoyances humanizes their relationship, making their story relatable.

Conclusion: Embracing the Journey Together

As the episode wraps up, Will and Charl reflect on the resilience and strength their journey has fostered in their marriage and family. They emphasize the importance of communication, support, and celebrating progress, no matter how small.

Will Compton [101:24]:
"Positive affirmation is key. It's all about staying connected and understanding each other."
Their final thoughts reinforce the central themes of the episode, providing listeners with actionable insights.

Charl Compton [105:03]:
"We navigated it together, found our way through the struggles, and we're grateful for the journey."
A heartfelt conclusion that underscores the power of partnership in overcoming challenges.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Will Compton [00:00]:
  "We felt it was important to highlight my wife and her IVF journey because a lot of couples struggle in silence."

• Charl Compton [05:38]:
  "I started having really terrible pain due to the cyst wrapping around my fallopian tube. It was excruciating."

• Charl Compton [16:23]:
  "At 35, we knew egg quality begins to decline, so we opted to move straight to IVF to preserve our chances."

• Will Compton [18:37]:
  "Jerking off in a cup was a wild experience."

• Charl Compton [48:52]:
  "I felt so alone going through IVF. It was hard seeing you out there with your life while I was stuck at home."

• Charl Compton [73:50]:
  "Celebrate the little victories. It helps find the light and hope in the process."

• Will Compton [75:19]:
  "Stay connected and communicate effectively. Therapy was crucial for us."

• Charl Compton [89:14]:
  "Being a mom taught me to be okay with not being in control."

• Will Compton [101:24]:
  "Positive affirmation is key. It's all about staying connected and understanding each other."

• Charl Compton [105:03]:
  "We navigated it together, found our way through the struggles, and we're grateful for the journey."

---

This episode of "Bussin' With The Boys" offers a raw and honest look into the personal struggles and triumphs of infertility and IVF, highlighting the emotional depth and resilience required to expand a family. Through candid conversations, the Comptons provide valuable insights and support for listeners navigating similar paths, all while maintaining the warmth and humor that define their unique podcast style.

Transcript

[Will Compton]

You're listening to an iHeart podcast. Member Week is here at Lowe's. Don't miss your chance to get up to 40% off hundreds of items like paint, outdoor and home essentials and more. Shop our exclusive deals happening in store and online now through May 14th. Not a rewards member. Join for free today and get ready to save more Lowe's. We help you save loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. Details@lowe's.com Terms subject to change. All right, welcome to another special episode, a bonus episode of Busting with the Boys. We have Mother's Day weekend ahead of us. First of all, happy Mother's Day. Shout out to all the wonderful mothers out there. For this special episode, I have my wife, Charl Compton, on the backbone of our family. The the mvp. My wife is a badass. I thought it'd be fun to have her on. We've been wanting to do this podcast for a while to kind of talk about the fertility journey. Our second child, Scotty, she went through IVF and everything else, and it feels very taboo to talk about ivf and we thought it'd be fun. I had to drag her, get her on the bus. I know we're both nervous about doing this episode. We got our boy Mitch in the back swinging the camera. So Mitchie, Mitchie will be talking to you a lot. But yeah, my wife, again, a badass. She is a business owner. She owns the Bar 3 studios here in local Nashville. So if you're somebody in the fitness, you want to sweat a little bit. My wife runs the Bar 3 studios here, so she's a business owner. She is a full time mother. Of course. We have two beautiful girls, Cerulean Bell and Scotty Jolie Rue. She is three years old currently. Scotty, she is going on on six months. And we thought this episode would be fun, would be important. I thought it'd be cool to highlight my wife and her the IVF journey that we you went through. Because I know there are a lot of couples out there that kind of struggle in silence. I know there are a lot of women that love to gravitate towards podcasts and listen to other women on other shows, kind of talk about the journey and even men out there. Like, you know, I know women go through the brunt and everything, but trying to be a supportive dad, trying to be a supportive husband, I know there's lonely feelings of time and struggles that everybody kind of has in the process. So this episode is a lot different. Not a lot of football talk, not a lot of ball Talk? Yeah. Did I miss anything in that introduction?

[Charl Compton]

I don't think so. I think you covered it. That was great.

[Will Compton]

Why, for you, do you feel like this. This episode would be important for women? Because I know gravitating towards pods was something that was gravitating towards. Pause was some. Was something that you kind of did in the IVF process.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, exactly. When I was kind of the height of everything. And we'll talk more about this later. I feel like a lot, but I was just so in my head about all of it. I had so many questions, and I really just wanted to, like, understand what was about to happen and what we were choosing in this whole thing. And I really turned to podcasts to listen to to make me feel less lonely. And it's just so interesting because I didn't really know a lot about IVF and infertility until it started happening to me. And I do find that that is probably similar for most people who have not gone through it or about to go through it. It's like you just don't know what you don't know. So listening to conversations and people's real experiences, not only do they give you information, and they also make you feel less alone, but they also kind of provide a lot of hope. So maybe this podcast is falling for someone right now at a place or a time where they need hope in going through this journey, because it can be a long one. It can be a hard one. Yeah. I'm pumped.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Thanks, babe.

[Will Compton]

Let's brief people on our fertility process thus far. Like, becoming parents like Rue. She was dialed in. Honeymoon baby. Your boy was out there hitting the homer right out of the gate. We had Rue easy. The. The pregnancy, the delivery. I know. I've talked about it on whenever Rue was born. And I became a dad like you. Having to go through 40 plus hours of. Of labor, having a birth plan, all of it basically going to not wanting. What's the. The epidural you ended up. You ended up having to get in three epidurals. On the second one, they miss the first one. I'm snoozing on the couch. During one, we had our doula with us. I'm snooze on the couch and kind of wake up to you screaming and yelling. I'm like, what happened? I thought we had the epidural. We were gonna fall asleep. We're gonna kind of take a nap.

[Charl Compton]

It's so fun. And to look back on now.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And you're at what? Like, you were dilated like four.

[Charl Compton]

No, I mean, I never really got past six. Yeah, six or seven. That was the farthest I got after, like, 46 hours, though.

[Will Compton]

And eventually. Yeah, eventually we had a section after 40 something hours.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, I know. Like, little recap of Rue's birth or Rue's pregnancy. I feel like it was. Yeah, really quick, easy, like, honeymoon again. Like, I think we both went into it. Like, this could take a while. And lo and behold, it took no time at all. So, like, that's like. We're just so lucky. And then the pregnancy was a lot, because I guess this is important, too, for the infertility talk. During my first pregnancy, I had this cyst, and it was a benign cyst, and I've had it since I was born. It's called a dermoid. But it essentially grew and got kind of twisted around my fallopian tube as my ovary during my pregnancy, because everything's changing around in there. So right at about 12 or 13 weeks, I started having this really terrible pain, and I would just be buckled over, and I couldn't breathe or move. And Will's like, are you good? And I'm like, no, I'm not. Not okay.

[Will Compton]

It would start to act up, and.

[Charl Compton]

He'S, like, downplaying my pain, and I'm like.

[Will Compton]

Okay, maybe we'd be, like, starting to clean up the house or do the dishes. And all of a sudden, she wants to get sidelined. I'm like, let's get you to the couch. And I'm thinking to myself, like, are you like.

[Charl Compton]

Well, like, I admittedly have a very low tolerance for pain. Like, I. I do. I'm gonna say that from the beginning, so. But this really hurt a lot. This really hurt a lot. And I actually texted my friends about. I'm like, is this normal? Like, what is this? Like, oh, maybe it's round ligament pain. It could be gas. I. Yeah, we might have some TMI moments in this podcast. And that's cool, right?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

[Charl Compton]

But I'm like, I don't really think it's either those things. So I ended up going in for my second, like, one of my scheduled appointments anyway, and she's like, oh, yeah, you have a cyst. It's wrapped. I would suggest surgery. And I'm like, oh, my gosh. We. I've literally never had surgery in my whole life.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So we kind of weighed our options. She's like, you could just let it grow and let it be there. It would continue to cause you pain. It could potentially result in Torsion, which is, like, when it gets, like, even more wrapped and causes, like, a rupture of the ovary. And, like, that's even worse. That's, like, you know, an emergent surgery. So Will and I, like, went home or, like, should we have the surgery, like, while Rue. Or. Sorry, while our baby is, like, in there. And you had an opportunity to go play for the Falcons.

[Will Compton]

That was when.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

No, no, this. Rue was born in April.

[Charl Compton]

We went to Atlanta and then. But this is. This is October. September of 2021. And you kind of decline Arthur's. Arthur's ass to come play. Right. You're like, I'll come next week because my. My wife's gonna have the surgery. Do you remember that?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, that was Atlanta. Yeah, that was that year. Yeah. Yeah. Atlanta.

[Charl Compton]

And then end up not working out.

[Will Compton]

Atlanta, because that was. And then I ended up going to Vegas that year. Because you were pregnant with Rue when I was in Vegas.

[Charl Compton]

That's right. Yeah, you're right.

[Will Compton]

I had to push off that.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. Because you're like, I think I really need to be home for my wife for this surgery she's gonna have.

[Will Compton]

Because they were like, you got to be bedside for a certain amount of time.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. So they end up doing this laparoscopic surgery, and laparoscopic is when they go in, like, two little tiny ones as, like, cameras and one bigger one to, like, remove the cyst, and they ended up having to take out my cyst and my ovary in my fallopian tube. So, you know, when I emerge from surgery and I'm, like, so groggy, and they kind of gave me the update, I'm like, oh, my gosh. Will this affect my ability to get pregnant in the future? And. And right away, her answer was no. So, like, I didn't think anything of it, because, you know, she was like, no. She's like, this ovary probably hasn't been working for a long time anyway, so you're gonna be great. You're fine. And so I'm like, okay, great. Love that answer. For me, obviously, like, you know, knowing what I know now, like, it's just. I guess it's kind of 50, 50 shot, like, both ovaries firing equally. But even when it comes to, like, retrievals and all the things with ivf, like, the more you get, the more eggs you get, like, the better chances you are, because there's so much attrition. So anyway, it clearly affected our ability to get pregnant in addition to, like, tons of other things. But that was, like, during My first pregnancy, I had this surgery at 15 weeks. The baby was fine, but I, like, you know, was pretty immobile. Couldn't. It was like recovery. It was really like a week or two. But then I had that terrible. What was it? It was like a UTI that sent me to the er. And you also weren't there. Shout out Dobson's wife.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, that was when I was out of town. She, like, couldn't walk.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, it was really bad. It was.

[Will Compton]

And I'm out of town doing something for bus and. And I remember hitting up Dobson. I'm like, hey, bro, like, could you or your wife, like, go help Charl pick her up and take her to the er? Because it was. It was kind of like a panic Mode.

[Charl Compton]

Well, because UTIs can result in kidney infections, so I also. I did not know that, but it was from the surgery and, like, the catheter and like, all this crazy, crazy stuff. So like, finally, eventually made it past that. And then we lost your mom. And then you went to Vegas all kind of in the same moment. And then I also had, like, a big thing happen with my family that was really hard around Thanksgiving. So that was like an emotional. And then we moved.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

And then Rue was born. So. What, a pregnancy.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

And then it was. Yeah. 46 hours of labor, elective C section. And then Root was in the nicu.

[Will Compton]

Remember when I was trying to keep you in the trenches for.

[Charl Compton]

Oh, my gosh.

[Will Compton]

Went to the C section. Honestly, like, shout out a bad husband. L. I feel like.

[Charl Compton]

But you thought it was a W. And you thought you were doing the right thing. Like, you said, birth plan. It really was more like a birth. Like, I don't know, a guide.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, it's like, you want to learn about the birth. It's like, you. Like, for us, I know we're both kind of like type A. You like having plans in place, but you also understand that a plan can go to shit. And if it does, it's like, okay, well, at least we know that we're trying to do these options first before we have to go to. Before we have to pivot to the next thing. And legitimately, the entire birth plan basically, like, went to shit because it was like 40 something hours. 40 something hours of labor. I want to say she sat at, like, 4 centimeters for hours. Like it would never move. And we're doing all these different things to, like, you know, accelerate the delivery. And then it got.

[Charl Compton]

I really wanted a natural birth. I really wanted, for the most part, like, you know, I was trying to be, like, really connected to my body and have this, like, magical moment. And we got none of that.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And then the. Yeah. And then after the three epidurals and everything else, it's like, we're in there, and then.

[Charl Compton]

Oh, my gosh. Yes.

[Will Compton]

The thought of C section comes out. We've been in the hospital at this point for. We're going on two days.

[Charl Compton]

Like, people had, like, you were texting my friend Susan. You're texting all of my girlfriends, which I feel like is so, like, unusual. Well, had a group, Chad, with all of my girlfriends going, like, literally updating them, like a play by play. I'm like, I don't think I've ever received this from any of my friends, husbands, or partners in my life. But they're like, literally, like, on a weekend trip. They left for the trip. I'm in the hospital. They get back from their trip, and I'm still in the hospital. So it was a very long.

[Will Compton]

Taylor leaves to. Him and Taylor go, like, to Arizona, and they're like, oh, we're gonna get to come back. Like, Rue's gonna be here. And we get to. We get to meet Rue, and they come back, and we're still in it. So they just come and deliver some food for us and give us some dinner.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, but I did.

[Will Compton]

We're still in it. I don't know. I don't know when this is gonna.

[Charl Compton]

Happen, because I. I mean, I wanted, like, you know, no induction, no epidural, no, like, real assistance other than, like, we did break my water, which I think was really glad. I'm glad that we did, because then we could see there was meconium in the amniotic fluid, which is like, if you don't know, meconium is. It's like the poop that the baby has when they're in the womb, which is crazy. I mean, Rue was 41 weeks, so she was, like, past term already. Um, but that was, like, why the nurses were on standby. And she did end up having to go to the NICU for the meconium in her lungs, which was also kind of scary because we're like, why is our baby not here anymore? Why did they take her away? But, yeah, it's like, finally we get to this point where I'm like, I don't know if I can do this anymore because I, like, have the labor shakes. I'm, like, getting pumped up with, like, not only, like, the drugs for the epidural and the, like, Pitocin to, like, keep the Contractions going. But also now I have, like, antibiotics because I have all these like, white blood cell high. Is it red blood cells or white blood cells?

[Will Compton]

I think it's white.

[Charl Compton]

Okay. High white blood? Yeah, either one. All these things in my body that I don't want. I haven't eaten, I haven't slept. It's like exhausting. And it's like, I don't know. I'm like, could I have done this differently? Could I have just like, I don't know what I could have done differently. But in the end, I was like, I think I need to have a C section. And so, like, all of the nurses and doctors leave, and Will and I are like, should we deliver this baby by C section? Well's like, this is not what you wanted. You don't want this. I don't think you should do it. It kind of. He's like, he goes, he goes. It kind of feels like you're giving up.

[Will Compton]

And I was like, hey, gentlemen, men don't ever say that when your wife is in the process of delivering a.

[Charl Compton]

Baby 46 hours in. He's like, kind of feels like you're giving up. And I'm like, you know what? I don't give a. I am giving up. And we are gonna get this baby out in 45 minutes, which is what we did. And I was like crying. I was like, so sad. I was like, really sad that you were disappointed in me in that moment.

[Will Compton]

And I hate reliving this because it, this is true. And I, I, I felt like I thought in my brain I was doing the right thing. I'm trying to give her like these football s style speeches.

[Charl Compton]

And, you know, we were trying to have like a code word with the doula. You know what I mean? Like code word. Like deviate code word. I actually don't want this anymore. This is the code word. And I think I'd said it like 65 times at that point.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, not by mess moment.

[Charl Compton]

Are you disappointed in me?

[Will Compton]

No. No, no, no, no, no. Okay, once. Once I come out of it again, hey, listen, I know you're laboring for 40 plus hours. I'm also on the couch for 40 something hours. Shout out the men who have to lay on that couch and sleep on that couch. So I'm sure I was getting a little delusional. I was like letting my emotions get the best of me. But your reaction, zooming out of it. I fucked up by saying that. And no, I did not think that. Like, again, you. You see all this shit happening and it's you doing it. Like, I'm fucking. I'm subbing in with the doula. I'm like, okay, I'll do the press hand holding. I'll do all this. I fall asleep, take a nap.

[Charl Compton]

You took, like, a few naps. You took a few naps while I was.

[Will Compton]

Hang on. Let's not let. You know, let's not fool the audience now. Like, maybe one nap. I mean, maybe a couple. I did try to close my eyes a couple times. Anytime. The duels. The duel is turn to go up. I'm like, let me see if I can sneak on here. As long as nothing's not, you know, nothing's not elevated to. To the height of the pain that she was going through.

[Charl Compton]

That was fun. We survived.

[Will Compton]

We survived. Rue. She's a. She's a champ. She is a. She's a stud. She was healthy, all of that stuff. Yeah. We were in the nicu.

[Charl Compton]

What a week, dude. That was a really hard week. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

For me, personally, I don't know if it was hard for you, but it was hard for me.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. I mean, you know, the fellows, we. We go through it too. Just.

[Charl Compton]

I think you're literally just here at work, just hanging out, doing podcasts, and I'm, like, literally, like, in this, like, useless state. I'd already taken my maternity leave. I'm sitting at home. I have nothing to do. I've just given birth. I'm recovering from a C section, and I have no baby. I have no purpose. I have, like, it was. It was really hard.

[Will Compton]

However, I will say that that was, like, shitty. And we also got to sleep.

[Charl Compton]

And we got to sleep.

[Will Compton]

And you're almost preparing for your baby to come home versus, like, that's true. You have the baby, and you basically leave the hospital whenever you're allowed to leave the hospital, because that's kind of how it was with Scotty. So we did get to sleep.

[Charl Compton]

Silver lining there was, for sure.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And then you just take. We just take visits to the hospital.

[Charl Compton]

And then it just make her, like, when she got to come home, like, that much more special, which was, like, a moment, for sure.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. So jumping ahead now, like, getting to the second one. Whenever we figured out, like, we wanted to have a second child, we're ready to have a second child. You know, we're. As a. As a male out there, you're kind of just used, like, how your wife wants to use you to, like, hey, ovulation's happening. I need you now.

[Charl Compton]

It is kind of sad how like, sex, like, when you're trying to get pregnant, it, like, is. It's not like, like what it used to be. It, like, turns into this, like, more system.

[Will Compton]

And.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, it's. It's kind of sucks. Like, I don't. We're obviously not the first people to feel that, but. Yeah, like, I definitely felt that, like, the far that we got along, too, like, we weren't getting pregnant, and it just was like, Right. And the second ovulating, it's time and it's.

[Will Compton]

And the second time we're going through, we think it's gonna, you know, kind of. We're very aware that how hard it is to get pregnant, because a lot of people do have different journeys, and it takes a while, and it's not as easy as. As it seems like it's going to be. But for us, kind of having. Rue, you did have that sis. You did have that surgery to remove the cyst. But I. I would say that we still felt optimistic going, hey, we're ready to have a second child. You know, I'm in there. I'm dropping semen. Semen team six. Over and over, just thinking, like, this is gonna land. I'm hunting for the boy. I'm trying to go get. I'm trying to go after and get the boy.

[Charl Compton]

This time you're out of, like, your metaphors, because also, you're, like, saying these things, and it's like, none of this is in our control.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

It's like, we think we're doing things that are, like, making our odds better, but, like, are we. Like, I felt like I was, like, doing all the right stuff with the prenatals and when I was eating and how I was moving, and none of that stuff really mattered. I don't know.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Because I stopped doing, like, the sauna. Because I'm starting to look into things, like, what could be hurting my sperm. And so I'm, like, getting off everything that can kind of, like, hurt. Hurt your sperm with, like, heat and whatever it is. And at what point do you feel like, hey, we need to start working with, like, a fertility doctor because you started to get pretty stressed. Like, again, not talking about, like, how old you are.

[Charl Compton]

We can talk about my age being 35.

[Will Compton]

You started to get a little impatient and stressed out over the female time clock of, like, having a kid to where I'm sitting there, maybe a little bit more optimistic, like, okay, hey, we got lucky on the first one. We just got to keep trying, like, month after month. Like, we'll just keep. We'll just keep kind of chugging along. We'll keep doing our thing. And then you start to get stressed out to where then it's like, hey, let's go get tested. Like, maybe it's me. Like, maybe it's like, I don't know how many tests you even had to do.

[Charl Compton]

I got a lot of blood.

[Will Compton]

Outside of like. Yeah, yeah, you got blood work done. But we had the, the cyst and ovary thing. And I'm thinking, what if it's me and my sperm? So I'm going in and getting tested. Jerking off in a cup, which is a wild experience.

[Charl Compton]

Are there magazines in there or they just give you like a, like a porn?

[Will Compton]

I mean, I just, truth be told, I just pulled out my phone and just did my own work. And they give you, they give you some lube. But I'm a no gear type of guy. I don't want to use gear. I like going after it. Just me and my hand. Yeah. And then you kind of just, you kind of do your thing in the cup. You put the cup in this little mailbox. It's built in the wall. And then I leave the room and you're kind of like walking around the halls and then you come across one of the, one of the nurses and you kind of have like, hey, so do I just. Do I, am I good to go? Do I leave? Do I got to check in with anybody?

[Charl Compton]

I think you literally just left and didn't say anything to anybody.

[Will Compton]

The second, third time I did do that because I had to do it a few different times, which we'll get into the IVF process. But I'm getting tested. We're all testing blood work, sperm count. I see my volume's great. My guys are, they're, they're hunters. Yeah. I got some dogs in the A gap that are working.

[Charl Compton]

I think we were both surprised by like the quality of your sperm.

[Will Compton]

Yes.

[Charl Compton]

Because you had always talked about, like, your testosterone being low.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So we're like, okay, maybe the problem is you. But then we learn should not be the word.

[Will Compton]

And it still wasn't. It wasn't working. So then we start working with the fertility doctor.

[Charl Compton]

Well, kind of. Yeah. I mean, if we like, back up a little bit. You know how that doc, like, maybe women. Anyone woman who's listening. A mom who's listening at the, like, you're a six week post birth checkup. They're like, make sure. They're like asking you about abstinence. You're like, are you like, how are you Going to protect from having a baby, you know, going forward, are you gonna do condoms? Are you gonna get on birth control? And it's like, whoa. And then they're like, make sure if you're gonna get pregnant again, you wait a year. So they tell you. They say you wait a year. So that is kind of what we had in our minds. We were like, let's wait a year. Rue was born in April, so I think we started kind of trying again, like, February, March. And, you know, at this point, I'm 35. Rue was born when I was 33, and I'm 35. So, like, biological aid, if you, like, literally just do a Google search, they're like, if you're under the age of 30, wait a year of trying before reaching out for help. And if you're, like, over the age of 30 or maybe, like, 32, then only wait six months before reaching out for help. So we started trying in, like, I don't know, March. And then we eventually reached a point where we reached out for help in, like, October or November, because our first fertility at the fertility clinic appointment was at. Was, like, end of November. And that's when they're like, okay, let's do some testing. Let's try to figure out what's going on. And essentially, all of our results came back unexplained. Unexplained infertility. Unexplained infertility. And I mean, again, coming back to, like, the education piece, like, 50% of all infertility is, like, secondary. And by secondary, it's like, after the first kid. So a lot of people are struggling to have their very first kid, which I feel like that's a whole nother, like, ball game and, like, journey that I'm not, like, accustomed, like, I've not been through. But secondary fertility is 50% of all cases. So I'm like, wow, that's, like, very common. Like, how come I didn't know this? So it's like we're trying to have our second kid, and it's so much harder. We thought it'd be really easy because root was so easy. Yeah. And then we did an IUI first. So we tried an iui, like, right around Christmas.

[Will Compton]

The IUI is like the turkey basing.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. Yeah. They used to call it artificial insemination, but I think they changed it for some reason. I'm not sure why. Maybe artificial insemination sounded.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. So that's when we started to learn about the options, like, iui, ivf, you know, this is where like, the stress was in, and we're trying to, like, figure out what the decisions are. And we were kind of saying, hey, let's do IUI for what, the first couple months and we'll try it.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. They Recommend Doing, like, 3 IUIs before jumping to IVF. Just kind of based on your history, like, there's a lot of factors that go into, like, how a fertility, like, doctor will, like, recommend a plan for you, which, like, everyone is different. So, like, with my biological age, I was still under 37. I learned that, like, 37 is, like, this point where, like, quality, egg quality actually begins to decline. Like, scientifically, there's data that says, like, egg quality has, like, a steeper decline at age 37.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Which is like, okay, great, I'm only 35. I'm turning 36 in, like, a month. What can we do now to, like, preserve this, like, quote, unquote, higher egg quality before it starts to decline in a year? And also, I'd had no previous miscarriages. I think that's another factor. People all the time, as miscarriages happen, because, you know, the. The quality of the embryo, it's like, maybe abnormal or it won't implant because it's. It's like the quality, the DNA, like, the chromosomes. There's, like, too many or not enough. So that's why, like, miscarriages happen a lot of times. Sometimes it's that there's other factors as well, but because I've had none of those, they're like, okay, maybe it's just, like, not lining up. So they thought I was, like, a good candidate to, like, skip straight to ivf because I want to get the good egg quality. Like, you know, I could do, like, a fresh transfer. There's just all these factors. Like, I was turning 37 in a year. Like, let's get.

[Will Compton]

And you did not. There was a. It was like, you did not want to be having. You wanted to have the. You wanted to have our second baby before you turn 37. Because it was like, we didn't do the third time of IUI. And then also, what goes into IVF, it takes, like, it's a certain period of time before you get to the fresh transfer, which would add up these months to where it's like, I want to be in this bab baby sooner rather than going through the process.

[Charl Compton]

I think. Yeah, it's just tough with, like. I think everyone who goes to fertility clinic wants to have a baby yesterday. Right. Like, for me, personally, I know I'm like, holy, we've been trying now for almost a year, and I still don't have a baby. I'm not even pregnant. Like, how old? How long will this take? So it's like I go in with this timeline, and honestly, that is what I would tell someone if I was to give them advice, like, ditch the timeline. But as I'm going with this time, like, how can I get pregnant as fast as possible? Like, IUI leaves so much more to chance. Ivf, like, you have a little bit more control. So that, I think is another reason why we skipped right to it, because there's so much preparation work. Like, we're like, okay, let's do ivf. I think we said that, like, the very end of December or maybe early January, and we didn't start it for another month. Plus, because there's, like, time, they have to do, like, testing. They have to get, like, your follicles, like, back down to, like, baseline, and they all have to be at baseline. It's kind of a lot of, like, scientific stuff that happens in your body with, like, the hormones and everything to prepare you to start the process for, like, retrieval. And if you don't know, like, what IVF is, it's essentially. I mean, do we talk about it?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charl Compton]

It's like they're extract what they were trying to do, like, your body, like, a woman's body, it's going to drop down one egg every single month. That's your period, Right. Like, it drops down the egg, and then when it flushes the egg out, that is like, the blood coming out. I mean, again, maybe this tmi, maybe it's like, everyone knows this, right? This is like fifth grade.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah. We all learn about this. I think Mitch knows about this.

[Charl Compton]

You knew that women had periods, right?

[Mitch]

Periods and stuff.

[Will Compton]

But.

[Charl Compton]

I'm glad he's clarifying that he did know about periods.

[Mitch]

But like, the IVF stuff, like, I'm not entirely sure how that entire process.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Mitch]

Works or anything like that.

[Charl Compton]

Let's. It's like a few steps, right? So it's like you have to prep your body for this thing that's called the retrieval. And IVF is two. It's two procedures, essentially. In essence. The first procedure is what's called a retrieval. So your body's dropping down one all by itself, no matter what, every month for the most part. If you have, like, a regular cycle, what IVF does is it, like, kind of hyper. Stimulates your ovaries and the follicles in there that produce the eggs to get as many Eggs as possible from ovaries. And for me, it's only one ovary. Right. So but for other. Most people, they're stimulating the ovaries to get as many follicles as possible to have this egg that's like the perfect size, has to be like the perfect size for release down, like. But they don't want to raise this. So they go in. Once the eggs are the perfect size, they go and they kind of give you this, like, I don't know what the shot's called, but they'll go in and they'll retrieve the eggs. So that, like, I went under. I went under for that. Right. Like, I was asleep, I think.

[Will Compton]

So I mean, my. You know how my memory's shaky.

[Charl Compton]

I'm pretty sure, yeah, I went under. They retrieve the eggs and they also have Will sperm. So that same morning of my retrieval, Will goes in and he gives a sperm. And then what they do is they like, they look for like the fastest swimming sperm and they will just kind of match up the eggs with the sperm. And there's different ways you can do it. You can kind of like let them, like, put them in a petri dish and let them like hang out and like match up by chance. Or you can also do this thing called. Gosh, what's it called? I forgot. But they basically where they go in and inject the sperm into the egg to ensure that they, like. What's that called? There's like a. It's a weird acronym. We can look it up.

[Will Compton]

But is that when I was. We were in the room and they're putting the sperm. Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

I mean, we didn't see it happen, but they're trying to make embryos. So they're taking Will sperm and they're taking my eggs and they're like, you know, trying to make as many embryos as possible.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So then they like, let the embryos sit and like, hatch. They have to get to like blastocyst stage. So there's like three day, five day. And they make it to a five day blastocyst. You can either freeze them or you can transfer them. So a lot of people will freeze them if they want them for the future. Or you can freeze them if you want to, like, test them first. They call it PGTA testing. And that basically tests like for abnormal chromos to see, like, how likely it is. If you transfer this embryo, will it implant and will it become like a baby in a live birth? We chose to do a fresh transfer, and we did that because the fertility doctor Said it'd be okay. Great candidate for it.

[Will Compton]

And it's like a month faster, right?

[Charl Compton]

And it's much faster because you don't have to wait for the PGTA results. Like, those can often take six to eight weeks. So some people do retrieval, and then they'll freeze their eggs or send them off for testing, and then they won't do their transfer for another, like, two to three months.

[Will Compton]

Right.

[Charl Compton]

We did it so that as soon as that embryo, the. The best ones will kind of grade them. So they're like, tell you how many eggs. Or tell me how. Tell you how many eggs they got. How many embryos made it to day five blastocyst. And from them, they can, like, grade them. Like, this is. This is graded X. This is graded Y. There's, like, different grading scales, and they'll. For our fresh transfer, they chose the best one. The best graded one. The one that, like, looked the best, like, based on, like, their microscope. It's kind of crazy. Like, this is what we're looking for. I'm like, oh, cool. Like, I have no idea what that is. And then for fresh transfer, they literally transfer it into your body. So that's another procedure. That's procedure number two for, like, trying to implant it. So they're trying to, like, mimic what happens when, like, the egg is, like, traveling down the fallopian tube and then the sperm meets it and then they, like, mate, and then it, like, implants in the uterus. So that is what they're, like, kind of manufacturing scientifically. And that I was not under. I was awake, and I'm just, like, kind of laying there and it's really cold, and I remember being really stiff, and I was just trying to relax.

[Will Compton]

And I mean, they're kind of watching the entire process. Yeah, they're guiding. Yeah, they're guiding it to the right spot because it has to stick. Right. They have to be insanely accurate. It's a. It's incredible.

[Charl Compton]

And I'm just, like, hoping that they got the right sperm. I'm like, I hope it's Will Compton.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And then you hope it, like. And then you hope it in place and hope it. You hope it implants and. And sticks to where you know it doesn't.

[Charl Compton]

You don't. You know, like, it's not even, like, really a miscarriage at that point.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

The egg breaks. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Or, like, it doesn't stick. It kind of like.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. I mean, like, is the embryo, like, a good embryo? Like, are the. At, like, the chromosomes right?

[Will Compton]

Right.

[Charl Compton]

How's your Uterus, like, some people have, like, uterine polyps or like, all the different things that, like, happen. Or maybe, like, it's the problem. Like the problem, but, like, something is going on in your body that you haven't tested for. So I will say, like, in general, I feel like our process was, like, overall smooth. Like, we didn't have to do, like, a lot of extra. I talk to so many people where they, like, go through this and like, wow, we found this out about myself. And now I have to, like, do this stuff for my hormones or I have to, like, fix this or, like, try and make this a little better. And then, like, the process gets elongated and lengthened even more so than, you know, again, you wanted the baby yesterday.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And there's so much unknown, too, to where it's like you're trying to have patience and be ready for if a pivot has to happen. Because we also have so many friends that had to go through many different cycles or. Oh, my gosh, ivf.

[Charl Compton]

Tons of retrievals.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, tons of retrievals.

[Charl Compton]

And that's the thing with the retrievals. Like, the attrition rate in IVF is crazy. Like, I won't say how many eggs we got, but in general, the attrition is like, up to 80 from, like, the number of eggs you get in terms of how many healthy, like day five blastocyst, like, embryos you have. So there's like, so much drop off. Like, let's say you get 25 eggs, only 10 of those might fertilize, and then maybe only five of those make it to day five blastocyst. And maybe only two of those are actually chromosomally normal. So it's like you're going from like 25 to 2. So that's why some people with the retrieval, they end up with zero. And, like, then you just don't have any eggs to transfer at all. I mean, I guess you could always try to transfer it abnormal if you have one. I've always also heard, like, data about that. Like, you have to do, like, genetic counseling. But sometimes the, like, the woman's body will literally fix an abnormal implantation, like an abnormal embryo in the uterus, and just it becomes like a live birth, like a chromosomally normal baby. Which is crazy. Like, there's just so much that happens, like, within our bodies that is not in our control. And there's so many things that we can do, like with IVF too, to, like, it's just like. Yeah. So we got so lucky that we did one Retrieval, one transfer, and thankfully, it stuck, and now she's got it.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Because backup. Talk about all the hormone shots.

[Charl Compton]

Oh, my gosh. I could.

[Will Compton]

Like, there's such a process to even get to that point of, you know, getting the embryos and the egg retrieval and everything else.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

You have to go through pretty. The needles ain't a walk in the park.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. So it's like retrieval and transfer. I feel like leading up to the transfer, there's not, like, a lot of things different, really. It's, like, leading up to the retrieval where you're trying to, like, get as many follicles active and, like, these egg sizes. Perfect. That's when all, like, the shots come in. So when you, like, hear people talk about shots in the ivf, that's what it is. So essentially, which is another thing that kind of comes into play was, like, birth control, which I was, like, so annoyed by, but sometimes they'll prescribe you birth control to, like, kind of control the start date of the IVF cycle. And I didn't want that. I was like, please, I do not want that at all. I don't want any extra hormones I don't have to have. But this whole thing happened where it's just, like, the timing of, like, when the fertility clinic closed and when they could get results and when my period had started that I had to, like, push it off by a week. And I was so frustrated by this because the birth. I mean, I didn't know it at the time, but the birth control gave me these terrible headaches. I literally, like, couldn't work, and I don't really get headaches a lot, so that was, like, a whole nother factor. So they suppressed my follicles with birth control, which, again, don't recommend if. If you don't have to. But sometimes it's like, it actually got it done sooner, otherwise, I would have had to wait a whole nother month. So birth control, step one. And then they're like, okay, your follicles look good. Everything's baseline. Let's start the shots. So they, like, give you these dosages of these hormones that you have to put into your belly. And I think there were three for the retrieval process. And you gave them to me, for the most part, all the ones in my belly, maybe. Yeah. I think you gave me all of those because you were in town leading up to, like, afterwards. Sometimes Audrey, our nanny, gave them to me. Shout out, Audrey. Huge shout out to Audrey. Oh, my gosh, she's the best. But, yeah, so, like, leading up to the retrieval, they're. My husband, Will. You're giving me these shots in my belly, usually morning and night, and I'm going into the fertility clinic like, every few days to get checked. Like, how's the follicle looking? How's the growth looking? Okay, do we need to, like, pump up this hormone? Do we need to timber down a little bit on this one? Like, they're trying to adjust the dosages to get the follicles to grow at the right rate. They don't want them to grow too fast, because if they grow too fast, then the eggs will release. But they don't grow too slow easy, either. And they also want them to all grow at the same time. So it's like, a lot of things happening that they're, like, trying to, like, pinpoint and get correct. So then when they. You know, I'm going in every few days, and those shots were not terrible. I mean, it's like, really just, like, pinching my belly fat, putting it in there. They're relatively small shots. It's just, like, tons of them. And also, they just, like, send you everything at your house, and you're like, oh, am I like, a doctor now? Like, am I a nurse? Like, do I just have to figure this out?

[Will Compton]

Videos to watch?

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. No. Yeah, there's. They like, oh, this is how you do with this video. Anyway, so you did it, but you give yourself shots all the time, so I feel like you were so.

[Will Compton]

What's so funny, Mitch? Everybody knows I do some peptides.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, but also, you said that it was, like, different giving me shots and giving you shots.

[Will Compton]

Oh, for sure. Because. Yeah, you're, like, in control. You know how it feels and everything else. And again, your pain tolerance, it's like you're trying to do everything you can to make it as comfortable as possible.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. So those belly shots weren't. I mean, comparatively, they're really not that bad.

[Will Compton]

No, not compared to the ass.

[Charl Compton]

Oh, my gosh. So then you go in. They're like, okay, your follicles look great. Let's do the retrieval. They schedule it. They have to do this little, like. I forget what it's called, but they give you one final one that gets you in the right spot, and they'll do the retrieval. And then as soon as the retrieval is done. I think a lot of people think IVF is like, once you do the retrieval and. Or transfer, you're done. It's not. The shots continue. So then they're trying to get kind of, like, getting Your body ready for to like implant an embryo. So they're trying to get more progesterone in there. So progesterone in oil, like pio is what you're injecting literally into your butt. So it's, it's crazy. So as soon as the retrieval shots end, the progesterone starts. Begin and big needles. And you have to, I mean, typically they'll recommend, like, if you end up getting pregnant, you'll do them during the two week wait. You'll do them like as soon as the transfer is done. And then like until you find out if you're pregnant or not. And then if you are pregnant, you have to continue them through 12 weeks of pregnancy. So it's not done when you get pregnant. You keep giving yourself progesterone and oil shots in your butt every night until you get pregnant. Or sorry, until 12 weeks.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, buddy. These, these, these dangerous now.

[Mitch]

Yeah. Give us like a size.

[Will Compton]

Ah, man, I can't. Can you pull it up? Pull it up on Google. What would he type in, sweetheart?

[Charl Compton]

PIO shots. But yeah, they're like a big needle.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And it's like a lot of like, what, like this?

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. And they're like kind of thick.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

And I do remember, like I walk.

[Will Compton]

In the park so much I remember seeing and I could kind of took it out and I was like, oh, hey, sweetheart, don't. Don't look back here. I'm looking at you. Have the dock pulled up. Scroll up.

[Charl Compton]

I can see you can not really see it blind here.

[Will Compton]

Right there. Yeah. All right. Can you see it?

[Charl Compton]

Oh, wow. Yeah, that's. That's a big needle.

[Will Compton]

You can't see it on your screen. Yeah, those, that one on the left there.

[Charl Compton]

It goes into my butt.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. It's a beast.

[Charl Compton]

It's really not your butt. It's like your hip. If anyone's looking for tips on like, best ways to manage pio injections, what did I do? I did. I rolled out. I rolled out the butt cheek.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

You'd roll out for like two or three minutes. I would do some air squats.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. When you're ready to go, you would warm. You would heat.

[Charl Compton]

No, I did heating after.

[Will Compton]

Okay. You would do heating after.

[Charl Compton]

And then I would like prepare the pio injection into this huge ass needle. And there's like two needles. So you have to make sure you're not doing like the retrieving needle because that one's even bigger. And I've heard people like accidentally use that one, which is like terrible.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So then I'm like, well, choose the spot. I'm alternating butts. So, like, let's say, you know, one, I do my right cheek. Next time, I do my left cheek. You want to make sure. And then I find a spot that's, like, not, like, holy and there's not tons of bruise on. Like, do this spot. So, like, clean it off. And then our trick was that you.

[Will Compton]

Would slap TRO in the ass. Like, I'd be like, all right, is this a spot? Again, you're trying to avoid the bruising, because there's bruising that occurs throughout the process that you just, like. You just feel bad for. You're like, damn, I'd have to put this needle in her again. But I. She would. She would be there kind of, like.

[Charl Compton]

Bend over the kitchen.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Bent over kitchen counter. I'd be like, all right, are you ready? And she'd be like, yeah. And I would just. I'll be like, okay. And I'd slap her on the ass and then slip the needle in. And then as the needle's in, it's, like, probably an 8, 8 to 10 second. Like, as it has to, like, slowly go in.

[Charl Compton]

Because you don't want to go too fast.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, you can't go too fast. So you're going, like, 8 to 10 seconds where you're just pushing it in. You're just, like, telling them to breathe.

[Charl Compton]

You really could count down.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

And some were fine, and some were, like, really bad.

[Will Compton]

Right.

[Charl Compton]

It really just kind of, like, depended on the spot and the day.

[Will Compton]

But every night after the injection, you would, like, heat your.

[Charl Compton]

Right after injection, I'd apply pressure, and then I'd sit on a heating pad for a little bit.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

But it got to a point over, like, two weeks or two to three weeks of these. I'm like, I can't walk. Like, I was so, like, frustrated because I, like, not only am I, like, going through ivf, but I'm also, like, in pain. And so I did go in. I was like, hey, any chance I get a smaller needle? And they're like, yeah, sure. I'm like, why did you. Why did you give me this huge needle to begin with? So I'm really glad I asked for a smaller needle again. If your needle's looking a little too big, maybe you get a smaller one and see what they say. Those felt a little bit better. Another option is you can take progesterone and oil. This is, again, tmi. There's these little tablets, and they don't like using this since it's not as effective using the shot, it'll get it directly into your bloodstream. It's quick, works right away. But you can also do this kind of Area 1 where you literally insert this little tablet into your uterus. So that's fun. I'm so glad Mitch is here. So, yeah, that's lots of the shots and stuff.

[Will Compton]

If everybody listening, I feel like they just learned. Learned about the IVF process. Mitch, do you feel like you got.

[Mitch]

Yeah, no. That definitely helps clear.

[Will Compton]

That definitely helps clear it up. Talk about the highs and lows throughout the process. I don't even know if there were highs, but obviously the highs, when we find out that it's. It's happening for us. But there were definitely quite a few lows throughout due to the stress, the hormones, the impatience, hoping everything goes well, that it's. You know, it's obviously a very stressful. A stressful journey, because even again, it's like. Were you. Did you become the owner yet of Bar three?

[Charl Compton]

No, but at that point, we're in the process of. She had called me and said, hey, would you want to do this?

[Will Compton]

And I was like, with work and career, I know there was one time where you had to kind of move stuff around or you couldn't go to something for work that you had really wanted to go to, where I think you were going to be speaking or you were going to be doing something that you were really excited about. And, yeah, kind of an emotion. It took kind of an emotional toll on you at that point to where it felt kind of like a. Like a breaking point, because I think we were out in, I think, Vegas for the Super Bowl. This might have been kind of early, but. Yeah, take us through. Take us through the emotional roller coaster.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh. I feel like I could just talk for hours, and I'll try not to, but, yeah, I think I know that I'm, like, a person who likes to be in control. I think you're very similar. Like, we like to control the controllables, and IVF is very much a process where you're not in control. But it's also very odd because I did feel like, if you're talking highs, like, the one high was that, like, we are finally doing something together that, like, gives us a higher likelihood of having our second baby. So, like, we knew long term that this was, like, hopefully the right move, but, like, in it, like, in this, like, thick of it, like, this terror, like, this bubble. I think a lot of it had to do with, like, Timelines and expectation and the process. Because during the IVF process, like, retrieval transfer, they recommend not traveling. I mean, in general, like, don't go too far away. Obviously, during the whole retrieval process, you have to be the fertility clinic every couple days anyway, so you can't go anywhere. And even after the transfer, like, you're waiting to see if you're pregnant. It's like, don't exert too much. Like, physical activity does not actually affect an embryo's ability to implant. But in some ways, like, a woman will never forgive herself if she, like, went for a run and then didn't get pregnant. So it's more like a mental thing. Like, anyway, so it's like, they restrict you. They say, like, don't do all these things. And at this point, you know, of course, I wish I was pregnant six months ago, and I had all these cool things planned for work. Like, I was really pumped to lead this training in D.C. at my old studio that I used to work at and manage there. And I had to cancel it. And I had to, like, kind of tell my team members, like, can someone step in to do this training for me that I was, like, so pumped for the opportunity to. To do, because I'm, like, in the middle of this procedure that should have already been done or that I didn't know was going to happen. And, like, all the timing doesn't work out where I couldn't go. And I just remember feeling so mad. I was, like, really angry because I think internally, like, I was. Felt like I was missing out on this opportunity for work, which I love my job. I, you know, about, like, in the middle of, like, going through this with my body, obviously, after, like, months and months of trying to get pregnant, or you get these negative pregnancy tests, or I would get them. And I just. Every time it was just, like, I just felt so hopeless, like, looking at these negative pregnancy tests where it's like. Or I would get my period and I would just, like, start crying because we just wanted a second kid so badly. So it's like, we're already at this point where I'm so vulnerable, so emotional, and now I can't do these, like, cool things I want to do for work. And then I think we were supposed to go on vacation. We were supposed to go to Mexico. We canceled that also because we knew we'd be in the middle of the fertility stuff with the ivf. And I also, like, I'm like, oh, I have to cancel this work training that I've been pumped about. I've been working on for months, and, you know, I'm sitting here at home on the phone with a fertility doctor, and Will is literally in Vegas living his best life, working, and his life is normal. He's, like, with his. The boys, and he's doing football, and he's, like, having fun. Like, I know he, like, is thinking of me. I'm not, like. It's not, like, resentment, but it's almost like this comparison where I'm the one, like, in it, and I'm the one who has to, like, give up all these things that I wanted to do and he doesn't have to, which, I mean, it just sucks. So it's like that. It's like. Feels really lonely in and of itself when it's like. Like, my partner is not actually experiencing this with me, even though we're going through it together. It's not like we're not actually. He's like, not in my body. Yeah, so that was like.

[Will Compton]

That's fair. That's natural. I think it's like, it's one of those things, too, that every couple who's. Whether they're going through the IVF process, you know, whatever the fertility pregnancy journey that people are on, it's like, these moments happen naturally, I think, no matter what. And it's. It's obviously important that you're, like, staying connected with your partner, because, again, it's like, you know, we'd be on a phone call, and I'm thinking in my head, do, you know, I'm trying to let her talk and feel her emotions? Like, do I just let her feel her emotions and empathize? Does she want me to try and give a solution to, like, you know, like, what is she needing out of me? And if. If, you know, if you're. If you're the guy and, you know, you could obviously say the wrong thing. And it's something as simple as, oh, it's easy for you to say. And then all of a sudden, the man, like, we're triggered because we're trying our best, and you just. There's a lot of stuff going on just in the. In the relationship that you have to navigate and stay connected on. Because if not, you kind of lose sight of it, then you can kind of get resentful because, again, it's just like talking from the male perspective, which, again, we're not going through it, and I think we're very aware of. Or we try to be as aware as we can of how hard it is, because a lot of this stuff, too. It's like we're traveling and I know that I'm getting to kind of like live my best life and do all these things with my career. And you're stuck at home and you're going through all this stuff. It's like there's this guilt and shame that kind of builds up inside of you that if it's not communicated the right way, if you don't have the right communication with your spouse, your wife, your girlfriend, whatever it is, like, it can go sideways. And so I don't know exactly where I'm going with all that word salad, but I think, like, staying connected and knowing that there are going to be times where there's going to be arguments being had, but as long as you can kind of like find your way back to that connection and get out of it, whether you're sleeping on it for a night and. Or learning how to, hey, how do you want me to help you right now? Or. And even that might, you know, fellas, all the time, it's like you don't even know what question. Yeah, I mean, you're like, oh, you're expected to know. You gotta know, like, why you asked me this. You should know what's going on. You just get such a mental frenzy that it's just super important that you got that everybody communicates. And you try to find the ways to communicate best. I know Charlie and I were big proponents and we'll hit couples therapy and try to have that third party perspective, navigate, like, differences and how we see things and how to communicate better, more effectively. What kind of stirs up in your mind whenever you know, hey, why aren't you cleaning this up? Why aren't you doing this? But no, it's, it's, it's important because that stuff is, I think no matter what, it happens naturally because again, you're, you're kind of fighting this fight, which feels like alone a lot of the times, even though that, you know, you do have a partner. But it's tough. It's. If it sounds like it's like, it's very tough to juggle because again, I'm not going through it actually the way you are.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, Yeah. I mean, overall, like, looking back though, I feel like you handled it well, like you did a lot of listening. And then sometimes I felt like you were like doing all this listening and there were things like maybe you wanted to say or like wanted to offer up and you just kind of didn't. And maybe that was the right thing. Maybe that wasn't. I don't know, but in, like, I honestly kind of, like, sometimes Left was feeling like, like, what's Will need? Like, what's he feeling in this moment that he's not saying that he's, like, protecting me from, or he's, like, just trying to, like, kind of silence his own emotions because mine are so big right now. So, like, what do you. What did you need going through ivf?

[Will Compton]

I don't know. I don't know. Again, there's, like, more. It's like. It's, like, guilt and shame that would build up in me versus, like. Like, because you don't want to, like. I don't want to, like, let you down. I do want to try and say the right things. A lot of times, like, when you're just doing the whole listening thing and empathizing, the phone conversation will kind of, like, end with you being like, oh, you know, if we're on the phone, like, okay, I'll let you go. And you feel like, all right. Did. Did I. Did I provide enough? Because when you're just listening, you're not, like, providing a solution or you're not, like.

[Charl Compton]

But that's okay.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Which is. Yeah, it's. Dude, it's just. It's a. It's a puzzle. It's a puzzle that's hard to know.

[Charl Compton]

And I think it's a puzzle, like, I don't have the answers either.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Like, if you leave the conversation or you're sitting at home and whether you continue to watch a TV show, I know in my mind, it's like, am I doing. Am I being the support that she needs right now? Or should I have said this? Or should I have said that? When really, it's like, you know, intimacy can be a lot different when you're going through this journey to where, like, you know, we'll be talking with the therapist. I'm like, you know, sometimes I'm just laying there, like, could I just. You know, could we get a little. Could we get a little action? But I'm feeling bad about even thinking about that because I'm not going through what's going on. But then I'm like, okay. But I also need to. I need to create space for my needs. What am I needing right now? Like, it's like, that's what tells me what I'm needing right now. But how do I even communicate? Communicate that it makes. Like, that's funny. I promise that that was a conversation that I basically tried walking through, like, in front of our therapist one time. And it's Just like. Well, how. Just how do I even go about that? Because again, I feel like a p. I feel like an. To even, like, want that during this time. So there's. There's a lot of stuff. I feel like, you know, are you okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charl Compton]

But, yeah, trying to live.

[Will Compton]

I'm trying to live in that emotion, and I'm trying to live in that.

[Charl Compton]

You know, it's like all this shame and guilt, and then, of course, if I knew this, and I'm going to feel shame and guilt about you feeling shame and guilt. So it's like this, like, circle and cycle that it's like, is this even productive? Like, maybe we can just both understand that we're, like, on the same team.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And because I'll be telling the doc, Bench, I'll be like, and doc, it's like the moment, like, maybe I try. And she just says, like.

[Charl Compton]

And of course, while you're going through this, they don't really. They don't want you to have any penetration.

[Will Compton]

Right, right.

[Charl Compton]

Is not allowed during ivf.

[Will Compton]

But again, it's like, okay, a roller coaster. Shut down. It doesn't mean we got to shut down the entire theme park.

[Charl Compton]

And I'm just like. And I'm like, hormonal, emotional, and I'm like a doc.

[Will Compton]

And then when she says, like, sweetheart, this isn't about you right now. And then I'm thinking that's. That's like. That's kind of like my trigger. I'm like, all right, yeah, I know it's not about me. I'm trying.

[Charl Compton]

But we've learned that those are not the right words for me to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we've learned that.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Lots of couples therapy. No, not too much. Just the right amount.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, just the right amount. I think. Good, good. Check ins. But it's. It's obviously been very helpful. Helpful for us just because, again, it's like learning how to communicate and navigate those situations and, you know, what could I mean rising in your mind.

[Charl Compton]

You, like, keep on talking about, like, the ways that you're, like, listening and, like, face to face and, like, talking and, like, that type of communication. But I do honestly feel like a lot of the times where I felt, like, most supported by you and even now is truly, like, when you, like, I don't know, you, like, squeeze my ass while I'm doing the dinner, doing the dishes, or you, like, come up and you give me a hug, or you, like, hold my hand while we're, like, driving to the fertility clinic. So it's just like these little things where it's like, I know my partner is with me and they don't even have to be like words or like anything profound. It's just like those are, those little things matter too. So if you, if you're like a dad or husband, you're like, I'm not sure what to do, like maybe just start there. I don't know. Like it's really just about making her feel seen and heard and understood.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. You just ultimately have to know that times are going to be rocky. It's going to be hard, certain moments and you're just going to have to. There's, there's no way to prepare for it other than like planning to know that you know, like this is going to happen and I don't know, like removing yourself and getting out of your own head and trying to zoom out.

[Mitch]

The tunnel of chaos.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, enter the tunnel of chaos. And Mitch says that it's like having, trying to have like effective communication with the right tone, right time, right place, not in the moment because obviously that's when things can kind of go off the rails because everybody's at their peak or whatever's going on. And again that is still going to happen. It's a. Yeah, it's, it's weird. It's all about just trying to get back to. And being, getting reconnected because again, you're both on the same team, you both want the same thing.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. It was a lot more like emotional needs.

[Will Compton]

For sure. For sure.

[Charl Compton]

But then like once we found out we did get pregnant, that was like an emotional moment. That was exciting.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Talk about paint the picture when you finally get the call.

[Charl Compton]

Well, yeah, I mean this is what. So I remember being so committed, I was like, okay, once I do my transfer, there's essentially the two week wait, which is like if you're trying, if you're trying to conceive, you know that like you essentially your egg comes down, you're like ovulating, the sperm connects. So that's like been manufactured with the IVF process. So then you wait, you wait to see if the egg implants and then your body starts produce. Producing. What's the chemical that your body produces? You have no idea. Can you Google like pregnancy test, like hormone or chemical or something? So that's what pregnancy tests will pick. No, you're pregnant. I forgot. I should do my research.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So you're essentially waiting and I will say the day after my transfer I went and got acupuncture and I'm not Like an acupuncture person. Again, I hate acupuncture. Is too painful for me.

[Mitch]

But hcg.

[Charl Compton]

Hcg, that's it.

[Mitch]

Human. Oh, geez. Human.

[Will Compton]

You got it, buddy.

[Mitch]

Chorionic gondotropin.

[Will Compton]

Hell yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. So you're waiting for the HCG to show up in your blood or in your body, and that's what the pregnancy test will detect. So if you're pregnant, it starts producing like, small amounts and like, like the farther along you get, the more it produces. So if you take a pregnancy test early on, it might not show up, but, you know, by day 14, day 10, it might show up because by that time your body has produced enough HCG for it to be detectable by a pregnancy test. And I just remember being like, I'm not going to take any pregnancy tests. I'm just going to wait for the blood test of fertility clinic. I'm not going to go down any rabbit holes. I'm just going to chill. I'm just going to wait. And I did not do that at all. It was. I don't even know if I told you this, but I literally. I'm not a Reddit person, but I learned about Reddit and I was on the infertility Reddit threads every night and day, like, like all the time. So, like, it was. And then I started taking pregnancy tests. I think I started taking pregnancy tests like a day five. I couldn't wait. I just couldn't do it. It was really. It was probably unhealthy. I like, had this like, obsession with like, am I pregnant or not? Because I remember the first one I took no line, and then I think the second one I took super faint line. Third one, it's like the line kept getting a little bit darker and a little bit darker. So it like, was giving me hope. But you still don't actually know for sure until you like, go and do the blood test. And then of course, they want your levels to like double by like five days later or whatever. So you're not like out of the clear even if you get a positive pregnancy test. But I just, I was like. So I couldn't really think about anything else other than like, am I pregnant? And that goes on for like 10 to 14 days. So that was really unhealthy. Don't recommend it. I'm sure even if you're going through it, you might end up doing that as well. But Reddit's a crazy place. There's lots of stories on there that can be really hopeful. I think a lot of them are hopeful, but then a lot of them are really not helpful. Anyway, so got the call. Officially got the blood test. They called me and said, charo, you're pregnant. And I, like, broke down in tears. That was a really exciting moment. And then at that point I'm like, okay, still nervous. Still nervous. And I think I just know a lot of people who've had miscarriages or like, things have happened, like, not even first trimester, second trimester miscarriages, like, things that are like, really hard. You're like, you know, really set on having this baby. And we got some more embryos that we sent off for testing. So we're like, okay, we're gonna transfer this one and then we'll send away the other ones to test to keep them for later, like, just in case we want more kids. And we got those tests back. It was maybe like, I don't know, six to seven weeks into the pregnancy. And both that we. Or not both, the eggs that we had sent, the embryos, they were all at chromosomally abnormal.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. So this is when we were in the middle of the spring tour, because I remember we just got done with.

[Charl Compton]

Of course you're out of town again.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, Florida State.

[Charl Compton]

And I called Will and I was like, told you that they were both abnormal. So in my mind I'm like, if those are abnormal, there's absolutely no way that this one that implanted is also isn't abnormal.

[Will Compton]

Right.

[Charl Compton]

So I like freaking out on miscarriage like every day. And there's like this. There's like, this is like trigger warning, like if anyone listening. But it's like, there's missed miscarriages where you don't even know that your body miscarries. And you just like go in. There's no heartbeat. So there's like all these different things that can happen. So I was just terrified of having a miscarriage the whole first trimester because I'm like, surely this one that implanted is also abnormal and we're going to lose it. And I don't think I've ever been so anxious in my life. Like, just thinking back to that time, I'm like, my skin is like tingling and I'm just like having like a full body, like, because we had to.

[Will Compton]

Wait how long to know.

[Charl Compton]

Well, you're never really. I mean, the percentage of miscarriage goes down, like with every day.

[Will Compton]

That's right.

[Charl Compton]

Pregnancy. But I would like be on that, like that website would give you the stats. Like, you have 3.4% chance of miscarrying you have 3.2% chance of miscarrying. And it was just like, again, super unhealthy. But I was the high, like, again, most anxious I've ever in my whole life.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So I ended up going to fertility clinic, like, pretty much once a week to get an ultrasound just to check that the baby was still there and heart was beating, which was like, not a healthy place to be in either. So the emotional roller coaster continued after. Even after I got pregnant, which I like, I feel like I remember telling you about this, but, like, you didn't feel these feelings, did you? I don't know.

[Will Compton]

With abnormal chromosome.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. With like the abnormal embryos that we got tested.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. I mean, you're just. Personally, it's like I'm just stressed, like, hoping everything goes smooth. I think you're somebody who, you're very sensitive and hyper aware to all the things that can kind of go on and how hard it is to get pregnant, stay pregnant, be pregnant, all that stuff with all your friends and stories that we've heard. And again, you're very, like, you're very in tune with that and very sensitive about it to where, hey, Will, don't talk about this. Don't, don't say too much now, blah, blah, blah. And so I think for me, it's like I'm just hoping for the best because again, I'm not going through all this stuff. Like, I'm not on the Reddits, I'm not clean, to podcast, to do all that stuff. I'm just thinking, like, you know, how can I, I guess, help? How can I support, like, what do you need out of me? And some things, it's like you feel like you can't help with certain situations outside of just like listening to you, because you, like, try to have the conversations and talk and it's like, you know, there's, there's you. Do you feel like you feel helpless? Like you can't, I don't know, you can't.

[Charl Compton]

Like, I did. I felt really helpless.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And it's like there's really nothing that I would feel at times. There's just like nothing that I can do other than try and stay optimistic. So I think for me, it was like my stress was more of like feeling yours and like, wanting to wear yours and trying to be like a solid foundation or be optimistic in all these. You know, if it hits this day, it goes down to this percentage. Like, you hear about the abnormal chromosomes. It's like, well, maybe, maybe ours is. Maybe our Stuck. Like, maybe ours didn't have an abnormal chromosome. Like, you're just trying to talk more optimistically then, like, live in the. Live in the. The fear of what could. Could.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, but it's just, like, a much more healthy place to be.

[Will Compton]

Right? But you still get off the phone and it's just like, man, I hope this goes. I hope this goes smooth. Because again, it's like I would come across dads or I would come across friends that maybe their. Their wife was pregnant. And then you learn that they're going through IVF, too. And that's where it was kind of like, oh, snap. Like, you're. You're going through this process, too, and you feel like it's something that's not necessarily talked about. But then when I would come across friends who were currently going through it, you're kind of, like, vibing with them over the storytelling. And again, you just become more sensitive and aware that some people are on, like, different cycles. They've tried X amount of times. Like, I had a buddy. It's like, hey, this is our eighth time trying. I had another buddy. It's like they went through five. And you go through all of these things to where, you know, you're more of. Just, like, you're more just connecting with somebody over the process. And then you realize, okay, we're in our first one, and. And we have a lot of fears that are going on with us right now, but it could be way worse. So then you're. Again, it's like, you know, again, you're thinking to yourself, like, oh, this could be way worse. In our situation, we're going through for the first time, I'm still going to be hopeful. And if it does go well, you're just like, we're very lucky that it goes well the first time, because Scotty was. We were able to have Scotty the first time around on ivf. And again, you're aware that there's so many other stories that go on to where they're way worse than your situation. So when you're, like, feeling down or you're feeling stressed out and you're kind of talking to. Talking to one of your boys about them going through the process, and you're learning about theirs, and it's like, you know, your heart, you're just, like. You start to root for them, hoping that, you know, we stay on track with our thing. So, yeah, it's just a lot of different. A lot of different emotions, a lot of different feelings, a lot of different stresses, and so much Uncertainty. Yeah. So much uncertainty that you just try and work through in the moment.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. I mean, that's life, right?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is. It is life. Because again, it's like, we were lucky enough to. Now, looking back, we understand how lucky we are that we were able to. You were able to conceive our second child with Scotty.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. And then. Yeah, obviously she's healthy and she's here.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Then we get the delivery day. Right. So the after. Again, we. We briefed on the. The first pregnancy with what happened with Rue, so we kind of. Which was weird to kind of schedule out Scotty's birthday.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

You always had a problem with which day should she come on. As long as it's not. As long as it's not on Monday or. Or the weekend.

[Charl Compton]

You didn't want her to come on the weekend because. Football.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I'm like, if we can plan this out.

[Charl Compton]

And I was like, rue was born on a Sunday. Maybe we should have Scotty born on a Sunday. And you're like, no, no.

[Will Compton]

Football. You get the. The pod the next day. Then we kind of. You kind of schedule out the C section, because, again, it's like, well, let's not chance it. Like.

[Charl Compton]

Well, yeah. I mean, she. She gave me the opportunity to be back. V. Back is vaginal birth after cesarean. So it's like. But I'm like, do I really want that? I don't know. Why open both doors? Right? So we scheduled the C section. And I, like, I'm still not, like, super pumped about that decision, but it happened, and it's over. So it's like, you know, part of.

[Will Compton]

My story with that situation. You kind of just go in like, it's a doctor's.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. It was crazy. It was, like, kind of clinical.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

And then I do remember. Remember that intern was trying to, like, watch in. And they asked my permission to see if, like, she could just, like, not an intern. But yeah, she's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Pa. Yeah. She was trying to just, like, watch and learn. And they asked my permission, and. And I said no. And Will's like, why'd you say no? And I'm like. I'm like, this is my birth. I get to choose who's going to be there. And you very much did not, like, understand that. You're kind of, like, mad.

[Will Compton]

I mean, I. No, no, no, no. I didn't, like, get mad. I did get, like, trust me, I feel you. But they're, like, trying to, like, learn on the job and all. They're doing is, like, sitting in to observe. But you're right. It is your birth. I know.

[Charl Compton]

Like, any. I mean, every time I get on the or, I just, like, basically, like, start crying because I, like, I'm just so overcome with, like.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

It's like. It's like fear anyway. Like, something could go wrong. Like, now I have a daughter. Like, I'm sitting on this operating table. Anything can happen. And this is like. I don't know. It's like, birth is scary. Like, people, like, birth is insane. It can be really dangerous. So regardless, I would feel like I was not very much in control of Rue's birth. It, like, lasted forever. Nothing went as planned. So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna at least control who's in this room with us.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. Which I felt like, you know, if. If they ask you, then you can say no. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Sometimes I almost felt like I should have said yes. Like, I felt a little bit like, oh, I should just let her. But I didn't. I was like, no, I don't want you here. And you're, like, giving me for it. But I'm like, I made the right choice. It's cool. But, yeah, pretty clinical. I'm sorry to all the PAs out there trying to learn.

[Will Compton]

I just felt bad for the pa. Like, they're standing there, and Charles, like, no, I know.

[Charl Compton]

She's, like, just literally standing right there. Like, could you at least ask her when she's, like, outside of the room? Yeah, she was born. No nicu.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, no nicu.

[Charl Compton]

We got to, like, hang out with her afterwards.

[Will Compton]

It was, like, within 20 minutes, calm.

[Charl Compton]

It was just like.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

I only had. No. They did have to do my IV more than once. With Rue, I had six IV pokes. It was awful. I hate IVs. And then with Scotty, it was only two. Right?

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

It's something like just little. Little wins.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

But then I had all these, like. I had some complications afterwards where I was in crazy pain with Rue.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. The. It was gas nurse stuff going on.

[Charl Compton]

It was like, in my shoulder. Dude. It's like, we talk forever and ever about birth stories. Shout out women. Shout out mothers.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Giving birth. Because.

[Will Compton]

True. Yeah. Mother's Day.

[Charl Compton]

Oh, my gosh songs. Yeah. This is a Mother's Day podcast.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. I'm a selfish. Because when the nerve stuff was going on, that's when that clip was going viral about me talking about my stats. Yeah. What I learned about myself, there was.

[Charl Compton]

The gas pain and Then there was the nerve pain.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. The gas pain was crazy because it's.

[Charl Compton]

Like, in my shoulder and, like, in my rib. It was wild. It was. It was crazy.

[Will Compton]

Like, hitting the button. I'm, like, yelling for. I'm like, hey, hey, something's happening.

[Mitch]

I remember you coming into the shop be like, Charles doubled over in pain right now, and I have no idea what to do.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah. I gotta lean on my boys in times of crisis.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, yeah. Men, you need your support network, too.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah. What do we do? What do we hit on?

[Mitch]

Questions.

[Will Compton]

Let me see here. We talked about the impact on the relationship, how we feel. IVF affected the communication, intimacy, and stress.

[Charl Compton]

I love your. Your outline, babe.

[Will Compton]

Here. Here's one.

[Charl Compton]

Oh, okay.

[Will Compton]

What do. What do you feel like? What do we feel like we learned about each other in the process?

[Charl Compton]

I really. I understand how and why infertility can tear couples apart. I do. It's like, it's such as, like, pressure filled. Like, it's like a. It's just. There's so much pressure. Right? Like, we, like. Like, you want so badly to expand your family or to have your first whatever it is, and you, like, both feel, like, accountable. And there's also, like, easy ways to make. Be able to make it feel like blata, like, about blame. So if, like, there's not the right communication or if you're not on the same page to begin with, and you'll have this, like, strong foundation, which I. I think we have. I feel like it's so easy for this to truly tear people apart or, like, maybe this is, like, the only thing we have in common and we realize we have nothing in common anymore. All we want is a baby, and we can't. It's like we're having such a hard time getting one, and I don't know. So, like, I get why it's so hard on couples, and I'm very, like, thankful that we were able to, like, figure it out somehow. Like, I don't think we have any, like, magic answers, but, like, we navigated it.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

There's not, like, awareness.

[Will Compton]

There's not a formula.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. I. I feel like, like looking back on that process, like, I know you were in it and you were stressing out a lot, and you were going through it because you were very. You know, you had a lot of pressure on yourself because when you have to go to the alternatives for fertility, you're like. You're, like, frustrated and. And you feel guilty that your. Your body's not working the way that it should, naturally. So that's, like, a pressure, but it's like watching you go through it all, like, you just. I don't know. I admire it. I admire, like, how you handled a lot of the stuff. And again, there were tough times. There were hard times. But again, like, I know you're somebody who, like, as a working woman, you take your. Your career and everything that you do very seriously. So seeing you have to pivot, like, in those hard times, like, when you had to cancel stuff or we didn't get to do things, I know that that stuff was really hard on you, but just, like, watching it from afar, I feel like you did a really good job handling it. And even when there was pressure on us at times, I felt like we always did a good job of finding our way back to communicating well, because you would. You would do a great job of calling out. It's like, you know, I might have my own stuff going on to where I think to myself, I could have handled that differently. But I also feel like you were very aware of when you're like, emotions are getting the best of you, or you can point the finger at the hormones, and you just. You just. You were able to come back and commute. Like, the communication aspect, I thought was. I thought you handled it well. I thought you were a stud in the. Throughout the entire journey because there were a lot of hard times, a lot of hard moments.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. I do remember very specifically, though, when the nurse was like, hey, if you want to go on this work trip, then we can just push another month. Like, we can just start next month. They just make it so nonchalant. They're like, oh, we'll start next month. And in my mind, like, I'm like, that's the last thing I want. But she did give me a choice. She's like, if you want to go on this work trip and it's important to you, then go on it, and we'll just do it when you get back. So I remember I came home and I was like, oh, I'm really torn on what to do because, like, I really value my career. I feel like I've been working on this, like, one thing for a while, and I was pumped to do it. And I remember, like, going for a walk, and I listened to a podcast, and I. And then I took root of the playground, and I kind of, like, digested the podcast, and I, like, really sat with it. I'm like, do I want to go on this work trip, or do I want to prioritize doing IVF sooner and I landed on prioritizing IVF sooner. And I think that was like a hard, like, moment for me where it's like I had to, I truly had to sit with myself and make a choice. Like, what is most important to me in this exact moment in time. Because it felt like it's like a trade off. Right? Like you couldn't. I couldn't have both things. So kind of like what you're saying, like, thank you for like maybe noticing that, like, and saying you admire it. But like you, I feel like as a woman I really had to like, choose and it's unfair, but it's just how it is. So it's getting clear on my priorities. I think it was hard to be honest with myself. Like, if I'm choosing this, does that mean I value career any less? Does this mean I love my job any less? And I, I don't think I do. But in that moment, that was like what was needed for me. So it's. And I just had to like sit with myself for a second and like, understand there's so many factors happening right now. I don't know what's gonna happen. But you. Thanks. Because it just, I don't know, like, you wreck. I feel like you were like, kind of like recognizing that, that it was really hard. I don't know. I was going with that, but it was tough.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And you also did a good job too. Like, again, I talk about like the guilt of like doing all the stuff that we get to do, like travel. You do all these things to where, like, man, should I opt out of doing this? Because I should be home, home. And I should be doing, you know, these things and some options. It's like when it came to it, it's like, hey, what's more important? And it'd be like I was staying home at this point. But I just feel like with the stuff that we get to do, you're always very like, you're always as level headed as you can be and as grace as you could be about it. To where you never, you never put me in a spot. To where I'm like choosing between two things or you never put me in a spot. I should feel guilty for going to.

[Charl Compton]

Do this because I feel like that could be again, easy to do. Like I could just, just like it's unfair. I recognize that it's not going to be just between the two of us and I can like, resent that and like take it out on you. Or I could like, try to really, like Dig deep.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

I don't know, but I was just impressed with. We. We're strong. We got this. We did it.

[Will Compton]

What do you wish someone had told you at the start before ivf?

[Charl Compton]

It's funny, because I actually looked back to. I reached out to this girl. I know I'm not gonna say her name, but she's in Oregon, and she had gone through ivf, and I knew that she had gone through it, and I reached out to her before I started the process, and just, like, anything you can give me. And one of the first things she told me was, like, essentially, whatever timeline you have in your head, let go of it. And easier said than done, clearly, because in my mind, I still had a timeline. But I can, like, looking back now, I can, like, see why that is, like, the most helpful advice place. It's like, yes, you want to be pregnant yesterday, and, okay, you're taking this step in the right direction or in this, like, direction where there's some type of semblance of control and, like, education and hope. It's gonna. It's not over, right? So, like, let go of the timeline in your brain, and that'll just kind of, like, make everything feel a little bit less pressure cooker, which I did try to do actively in the moment. It didn't always work, but that's what I would say to anyone, and that's what I would. Not that I wish someone said to me, because they did. It was helpful.

[Will Compton]

I need a quick break to go to the bathroom.

[Charl Compton]

Before we get into the parenting things, can I say one more thing?

[Will Compton]

Yes, please. Before we get into the parenting. Fun, fun question.

[Charl Compton]

You didn't ask me this, but I feel like if I were to, like, try to give advice to someone who's, like, in this right now. Not again. Not that I know the answers, only seeking my experience. Just, like, celebrate the small, the little victories, like, the little wins. Like, IVF is a long process. And I just remember having there. There were two people, two girlfriends I reached out to. Like, two, like, people outside of your partner who you can, like, celebrate the little things with, who, like, know what you're going through, and you can support you in, like, really tiny ways. But I remember after we got our retrieval results and we got X number of eggs, I messaged this person. I'm like, hey, we got this number of eggs. Little win. And then she would celebrate with me. And then when we found out how many embryos we got, I, like, sent her that number. So just, like, these little things that, like, they're not actually you having a baby, but they are, like, little steps along the way to acknowledge, to find the light and the hope in the process that. I feel like that was such a, like, helpful. Those were, like, little moments that I, like, look back on. I'm like, wow, that was a. I'm so happy I celebrated that in that moment, because, again, it can potentially be really long, and it can be really hard. So taking the little wins along the way.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. It's like just figuring out how to externally communicate stuff.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. And then with your partner, just, like, totally communicate. Yeah. If you keep it all inside, it's like. Yeah, it's. It's useless.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. You just. It sits inside and you stir on and everything else. I love that. Shall we get into the I say I have fun parenting questions to spotlight Mother's Day, but they are still just about you. I'll read a. I'll read a few. And then our boy Mitch in the back, he can take over. How has being a moment changed you?

[Charl Compton]

It's so funny. I feel like I tried to, like, think about the answers to these on the way here, and maybe I should ask you, how's it changed me, babe?

[Will Compton]

Great question, sweetheart. I think similarly, and we've touched on it, we're very much people who like to be in control. And when you have little ones, like, that's. You ultimately have to let that go. Like, you can put structure. You can do all the things where you want them to. You want to raise them to be great human beings. And. But sometimes a lot of moments just call for, like, feeling in those moments and just being present in those moments. I feel like you're somebody who's very intentional as a mother, and maybe you know it, maybe you don't know it, but you challenge me to be a better dad. Like, when you, you know, you'll, like, lose your phone all the time. Like, you've become somebody who will, like, set your phone down because you want to intentionally be present. Present with the kids. Like when you're playing with Rue or you want to take Roux. Like, yesterday, you knew Rue, that Rue was struggling when you left. When you left to go to work yesterday. And so when I was on my way home, you're like, hey, how far out are you? I kind of want to take root of the park and get in some quality time, because she had, you know, she had a little moment this morning. It seems like she's missing mom a little bit. But you are somebody who you love to control and have timelines. And be very tight, very tidy, which I love and appreciate about you, even though sometimes it drives me nuts. So knowing that there are. There are a lot of elements that you can't control and just being patient. I think you do a really good job being patient. When Rue is getting pissed off and she's, like, hyperventilating, and you just sit there and hug her and you're just there for her, where I can get, like, frustrated and you'll just tell me, like, hey, she just. She doesn't know how to control her big emotions. She just. She almost just needs you to sit with her and not, like, say anything or do anything. You had some, like, being patient in the short term or whatever you said, like, last week, where you're talking about Ru having a big moment or you doing. I forget what it was. But you being, like, you wanting to do a better job of being patient with her in, like, moments where she's not as frustrated or mad versus, like, you felt like you. You. You got a good grip on when she's, like, really struggling or really having, like, a big emotion and, like, sitting.

[Charl Compton]

With her, like a distinction.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

You're talking about, like, working on the one that's like a. More in the. The shorter term, where you get a little impatient, where we. Everybody kind of gets a little.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, I mean, I definitely get impatient.

[Will Compton]

With her sometimes, but I would say that's how I've seen you kind of change since motherhood is like, you know, letting go. You're much more fluid. You're. You know, it's like. I know we read the book, which I'd highly recommend to. To parents if you're looking into any type of sleep training, but 12 weeks and 12 hours. I forget who it's by, but it's a phenomenal. It's a great book, but it's like introducing your kids into your world versus you changing everything around our world to kind of fit the need of the child. Like, you're somebody, whether it's, hey, we're at the farmer's market, or we're going to go here, and it's during a nap time. They can just nap on you and you'll. You'll just be out there ripping around whether they needed a nap. And it's like, you kind of just bring them with you versus, like, I'm going to keep myself home because they need to be on this structure, this timeline, throughout the day, at all times. You'll just like, we'll take them with us. You'll take them with you. If it's just you doing something. So, yeah, I would say that's how I've seen you change since becoming a mom is more of just your fluidity and your patience and. You didn't answer the question.

[Charl Compton]

I kind of answered it, but honestly, yes. The thing I would say most is, like, kind of, like being okay with not being in control and not necessarily okay. I don't know if that's. That'll ever change about me, like, fundamentally. Like, I like to have things structured as much as I can, like, control, be in control, but I'm just not in control. When you have children, you're just. You're just not in control because they're their own little person, and they are going through all these things developmentally. So thank you. Because that's something I feel like can be of strength and also weakness, and I've let it go a little, which is good.

[Will Compton]

What is the biggest mom L that you've taken?

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, I mean, I was looking at thinking about this. It's like, clearly there's so many things that happen that. And I'm thinking more with, like, Rue, because we've had her for longer. Like, we've known her for longer, and Scotty is, like, relatively new to the fam. But I don't necessarily think about Elle's, like, things that she's doing. Like, if she's having a tantrum or she's having a hard time or she is yelling at me or whatever it is. Like, those are. Those are not Ls for me. Those are just, like. Those are, like, challenges for me. Right. Like, I can figure out a way to meet her at. Meet her where she is and adapt, improvise, overcome. Like, if there's poop all over me, I don't know, those are things that, like, happen to me that are not elves. So I would say, like. Ls personally would be when I lose my cool. So I do remember there was. Do not recommend this, but I actually listened to this podcast recently about, like, picky eaters and. Because, you know, where's a big eater? But, I mean, generally.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Anyway, you were not home. You were, like, traveling somewhere, because that's, like, a common theme in this conversation. I was sitting there. She was probably, like, I don't know, 16, 18 months, and I was trying her to get. Get her to eat this, like, chicken. I was trying to get her to eat the meal that I made her, and it was just the two of us. We're sitting there at home, and she probably had, like, none of it. And I knew it was like a food she liked. And I remember getting so frustrated with her that I, like, eventually, like, shove the food down her mouth and she started choking and, like, vomited everywhere. I told you about this.

[Will Compton]

I don't know if you did.

[Charl Compton]

I did. Yeah, I did. And I was like, that was the wrong decision. That was the wrong call. That was. That was on me. And she's, like, in tears. Like, she's so upset, and I'm like, just, like, trying to be like. It's almost like out of spite and, like, pride. I'm like, eat this food that I made for you. Don't recommend. That was like a clear moment. I'm like, that was. That was on me. And then, of course, I haven't done that again. But it's like your. Your kid knows. Listen to them.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. I tell you what, it is like negotiating with a little terrorist when she's.

[Charl Compton]

Eating dinner sometimes, and. But sometimes as though it's like roses.

[Will Compton]

And sunshine, she'll knock it all down. Clean plate club. We always talk about joining the clean plate club to make it like a. You know, you're trying to get in this tribe.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, but we don't necessarily want to be competitive. Yeah, but, yeah, I mean, it's like.

[Will Compton]

When I lose my competitive.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah, for sure. We're competitive, both of us. And I walk away. I walk away feeling like I had an L. If I, like, lost my patience there. I've already yelled at her and that's. And then I'll walk away. I'm like, I'm a bad mom and that. Those are, like, opportunities to apologize, I think.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Apologizing is a. Is a big one. I've started to do that.

[Charl Compton]

You have. I've noticed. It's. It's like. I think it's pretty powerful, honestly.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, I hope so.

[Charl Compton]

I'm not being. I'm not joking. I'm being serious. Like, that's some powerful right there. You said I'm sorry. Wow.

[Will Compton]

All right, Mitch, you got. You want to. You want to run through some.

[Mitch]

Yeah. What is. We do this with players when about their coaches. What is your guys biggest pet peeve about each other?

[Will Compton]

Go ahead. It's. It is Mother's Day. It is Mother's day weekend, so you can go first.

[Charl Compton]

Pet peeve that we've learned to live with or just pet peeve in general?

[Mitch]

We can do one. One that you've learned to live with. This is not gonna change. But one. It's like, bro, pick it up.

[Charl Compton]

I Think my biggest pet peeve with Will is how frequently you lose things.

[Mitch]

That's our pet peeve.

[Will Compton]

That reaction.

[Charl Compton]

Mitch, I'm not alone.

[Mitch]

You lose your wallet. We have to give you your wallet.

[Charl Compton]

And he tried. Like, it's not like. Sometimes I do think he's, like, trying. Like, he's trying. He's. Sometimes he's trying his best, but there are other times when you're not trying your best.

[Will Compton]

Okay, that was the. That was the. Learn to live with.

[Charl Compton]

No, that was the. Yeah. The one I've learned to live with is like, lights on, Lights on. You just leave the lights on everywhere.

[Will Compton]

Go listen to Nate Bargazi's recent stand up.

[Charl Compton]

Hey, those three scents of energy matter. And I care about our earth.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Oh, did you turn the light. Did you turn those lights off? And again, Nate Bargazi crushes this bit, but I'm, like, thinking the same thing. It's like, dude, we can't even see what's going on outside out there in the living room. Like, maybe I left the pantry light on, but what's it matter? We're laying in bed right now. Just go to sleep.

[Charl Compton]

I can see the light from the. From our bedroom.

[Will Compton]

You. Yeah, but you'll. It's, like, so minimal.

[Charl Compton]

I can feel it on.

[Will Compton]

It's so minimal to where Charl will have to get up out of the bed and go.

[Charl Compton]

It's like, it's. It's like, kind of like the. Like, fundamentally, it's wasteful, whatever, or that. Like, it takes, like, negative seconds, but.

[Mitch]

If you're walking out, that's just something you do.

[Charl Compton]

I didn't know Mitch was gonna be on my team. I'm sorry.

[Will Compton]

No.

[Mitch]

Because that's a pet peeve I have of my roommates is they leave their.

[Will Compton]

Lights on everywhere, too, but throughout the day. To me, that doesn't matter. You're gonna go back in the room at some point.

[Charl Compton]

At that point. Fair. And that's not how you live your life. You live the light on, and then you leave the house, or you leave the light on, and then it's nighttime. You know what I mean? Like, it's not. That's not always a fair argument.

[Will Compton]

Well, if I leave the house, I'm going to come back to the house. I want lights on in case, you know, people see there's lights on the house.

[Charl Compton]

What's your biggest heavy about me.

[Will Compton]

Man? Where do I start? I don't know how to put it into one particular thing, but it's your, like, what?

[Charl Compton]

I just feel like I Know what you're gonna say.

[Will Compton]

What am I gonna say?

[Charl Compton]

Embracing myself for imperial?

[Will Compton]

Go ahead and say.

[Charl Compton]

No, no, no, you go.

[Will Compton]

I was just going to say, like. Like how things have to be a certain way. Do you know what I mean?

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. I'm laughing because you just were complimenting the fact that I had gotten more fluid as a. As a parent.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. It just feels like you could get. You can get, like, impatient and stressed over the smallest things, and you don't. Here's the thing, though, Mitch. You don't know it's a big thing until the big thing just happens. Like, you think you're. You're like, hey, you know, we're in a good little rhythm here. I'm kind of crushing it. I've developed more as a husband and a dad. And, you know, you're, like, challenging yourself to be better in certain areas, and you think it's going well, and then something happens, and then all of a sudden it's not going well, and then they. They make you feel like you've made no progress whatsoever.

[Charl Compton]

I'm right here.

[Will Compton]

Sorry. So it's like, you know, I. Yeah, whatever that is. The. The.

[Charl Compton]

That seems. That seems like more than a pet peeve, but it's cool.

[Will Compton]

We've talked about in therapy. We have, yeah, we've. We've. We've talked about how to communicate with.

[Charl Compton]

You, and we've learned that you are an athlete and what you require is positive affirmation. More positive affirmation than negative. Potentially perceived.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, bro. In that when Doc was breaking it down and talking about any athlete she's worked with. Sorry if you guys heard that in the background. Any athlete she's worked with, like, they need more positive affirmation.

[Charl Compton]

Like, you're doing this. Well.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Keep it up than anything. Because we've lived our life of such, like, a performance base. Like, we need our coaches to be proud. We need our coaches to kind of, you know, tell us we're doing a good job. Because when you get negative comments, it just feeds this psyche. And you. Because you feel like whether it's. You're going to be cut, whether you're not doing good enough, you want to do all these things to where it's like, you need these positive words of affirmation a lot more than anything else. When she broke that down, it's like there's parts. You're like, damn.

[Charl Compton]

And both of us were just like, yeah.

[Will Compton]

And I'm thinking, yeah. Because when I want her to, like, land stuff with me, it's like, Through a joke or through something else versus, like, a moment happening. And it's like, hey, what are you gonna do with this mail? It's like, can we not watch this show right now, or can I not just get to it tomorrow? Like, set it right there in the past? She's like, this pile builds up over time. All these boxes you have. It's like Christmas here every day. When you gonna take the. When are you gonna open these boxes? Oh, yeah. Yeah. I need to get to those. Feel me?

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. I'm doing my best to not respond. I'm gonna not respond. I'm just gonna take it.

[Will Compton]

I say it out loud, and I hear myself say it, and I get it. But it's like, is that why we gotta do this right now on a Sunday night? We're trying to watch a show right now. Like, Severance is on. Like, can you just relax and calm down? Like, you know, what's another pet peeve?

[Charl Compton]

Oh, we're doing multiple. Cool.

[Mitch]

I was gonna ask the next question.

[Will Compton]

Go ahead. Yeah, let's just. We'll get out of that one. You can ask the next question.

[Mitch]

What is the dumbest argument you guys have gotten into? Whether it's when you first started dating early in a marriage, when you first moved in together? Dumbest argument.

[Will Compton]

What are you thinking of?

[Charl Compton]

Our honeymoon?

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Will and I got on one on our honeymoon. One fight on our honeymoon. And it was so dumb. It was so dumb, but also not. Will say it wasn't dumb. I'll say it was dumb. Okay. It was over coffee, clearly. I love ice lattes. I honestly. I'm gonna take some credit. I got you on lattes back in the day.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Victory lattes.

[Will Compton]

Yes.

[Charl Compton]

Anyway, go on. I have my latte every morning with simple syrup in it, which is sugar. Simple syrup is sugar and water. And Will doesn't like that. Will does not like that I start my day with sugar. So we got into a fight on our honeymoon.

[Will Compton]

You said dumbest argument. Like, a dumb argument.

[Charl Compton]

We just finished our Bora Bora. We were in California, like, wine country, and we're, like, pulling into this coffee shop, and I was driving, and. And we just gotten our lattes, and I had sugar in my latte. And I think I maybe had to go back and get a little more because I like mine.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, she needs them.

[Charl Compton]

Like, if I don't like it, like, artificially sweet, but I like it, like, sweet enough so that, like, it just, like, tastes nice. Like, I'm like, oh, this is my latte. It's like, it's my favorite. My what I look forward to in the morning. And I think he was, like, pissed that I, like, went back and got more sugar. And he let me know. We, like, got in the car and we started. He got in a fight. We, like, gotten, like, a heated debate where we, like, we're not talking to each other for, like, maybe like, six hours.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Like, went on a walk.

[Will Compton]

I had to go on a walk.

[Charl Compton]

I also went on a walk with the cows.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Yeah. Out in California.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. And I almost, like, wrecked the car because we were, like, fighting. So, like, kind of heatedly.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. It's like one of those things, Mitch. Like.

[Charl Compton]

I can't wait to hear them explain this.

[Will Compton]

I'll try and make sense of this.

[Charl Compton]

He wants me to take care of myself. He wants me to live a long, healthy life, right?

[Will Compton]

Yes. But also, it's like, say you got your partner or one of your boys, and, you know, you see that the habits that they have. Charles, like, her day starts with a. A simple syrup ice latte or with a bagel like bread. I'm not always like that. It's my turn to talk. And, you know, like, they've made comments about, like, you know, you know, they're in the health. You know, they're in all these things. And she. So you try and drop hints of. Hey, you start your day with sugar. There's a lot of, like, negative, you know, negative things that kind of can, like, domino effect with, like, your blood glucose. I'm not going to get into all the huberman. The. All the huberman stuff. The. The data that backs all of this. But so it's like, then you might have a common ground conversation that's like, oh, yeah, maybe I'll start tapering off. And then it gets to where they're going back up for more sugar, and you're just like, hey, when you going to start tapering down the sugar? Sugar, or get it to where, hey, you know, if you just go a little bit at a time, next thing you know, you're drinking black coffee. That's kind of how we all start. I was a sugary guy, you know, I make a. I make a coffee, pour a creamer in it, a couple sweet and lows, a couple sugar packets.

[Charl Compton]

Sweet and low is not okay.

[Will Compton]

I agree. And got that out of my life, got that out of my system. It was a journey, but I got there. So you're, like, wanting the same thing for them because, you know, they're conscious about, like, they're wanting to be Healthy and all these things. And it's like, like, maybe we start from the first hour of our day. And so that kind of, you know, I probably. I, you know, I probably made an offhand comment and it just, it steamrolled from there. But that's where it was coming from for myself. It wasn't like, you know, hey, why are you drinking sugar coffee? Like, this ain't how we're doing marriage. Like, you're gonna change this right now. It was more of like, I know she's made comments before about stuff, and it's like, hey, this is a simple thing that you could start to work on. Cut out whatever it is. Again, mistake, went about it the wrong way.

[Charl Compton]

Would you say that we live relatively healthy lives?

[Will Compton]

Sure, I guess it depends on your expectation of healthy.

[Charl Compton]

Okay, so that's a no from you?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, like, for me, like, I. I would say, I guess overall, like, you know, relatively speaking, I would say yeah, I live a healthier life, but I fall short of, like, what my. I want my expectations to be for myself. So I'll get in, like, a bad mood, but sure, yeah. Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Are we in another fight right now?

[Will Compton]

No, I'm just trying to explain my side because I know the audience is out there. Listen, like, damn, what was at her throat over a cup of coffee?

[Charl Compton]

I still have the same latte every morning.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, she does. And it is tasty. It's a tasty little treat.

[Mitch]

Next question.

[Will Compton]

Will.

[Mitch]

This one's not on your sheet, but Will talks to us as, like, communicating and being better at communication. How has Will gotten better at communication since you guys have been married? From when the time you first started dating to now, like when you first started got married to now with kids.

[Will Compton]

This is a Mitch question.

[Charl Compton]

Wow. This is also kind of like, deeper.

[Mitch]

Well, he's been like, me and Will have had our conversations about communication and stuff.

[Charl Compton]

Like within a relationship or just like, in general?

[Mitch]

Well, work relationship, personal relationship, stuff like that. So how is he? Because he's like, teaching me. I'm like, I wonder how he's gotten better himself.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, great question, Mitch.

[Mitch]

Thank you.

[Charl Compton]

Wow. I know why you work here, Shane. Pay me the big bucks. Yeah. Overall, I think our communication has improved, like, exponentially. I think for me personally, my personal journey, I was not a good communicator. I never really had, like, a lot of exposure to it. It wasn't really talked about, this kind of longer term relationship I was in. I feel like our communication was very bad. Sorry. I've been talking so much you just talk all day like this, and your voice just goes. And I remember a close friend of mine, kind of just for me, she was in this really great relationship. She's not married to him. Susan. Shout out Susan. And she kind of, like, emphasized the importance of communication. I was like, oh, cool. Like, what's that about? Let me give that a shot. So I think when you and I first started dating, it was kind of like when I was like, this is important to me. I see that this healthy relationship is modeled by communication, so I'm gonna try and emulate that, whatever that means, however uncomfortable it is. Let's do this. And you were not really a good community. I don't think you were a good communicator. Like, I would say, overall, you were not one. You probably had a similar story. Like. Like, you guys, like, your upbringing. Not. No fault to anyone, but it's like, we just didn't have that exposure. Overall.

[Will Compton]

You just don't know how to. Just don't know how to communicate.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. Especially, like, kind of, like, talking about feelings.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

And talking about, like, what's going on inside of you and, like, how certain things or words, like, how you're responding to them internally. Like, just vocalizing what's happening. So I think I kind of like how to, like, pull that out of you a little bit. Especially in the beginning when. When we were not, like, official for a while, that was tough. And then even just, like, dating, it was, like, a practice. It was just like, all right, that didn't work. We'll try. We'll try it again. You know, I'm not sure, like, how it stuck. But overall, I think right now, like, now if we look at us currently with 2 kids, married for 4 years, shout out anniversary. It's in June, I would say, like, our. We're like, overall, we communicate well with each other. Like, there's times where we'll mess up and things won't land, or we, like, let our emotions get the best of us. But we have, like, a lot of awareness about it, and we just, like, recognize it as being important. So we can always kind of, like, fall back on it.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Yeah. You're answering Mitch's question. Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So great job, Will. Yeah, great job. Great job. Positive affirmation. You're doing great.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Yeah. It's like, I feel like for a lot, for most men, it's like learning how to communicate. I do think it's, like.

[Charl Compton]

And, like, there's a vulnerability.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Aspect.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. You feel like if you're being vulnerable and you talk about your emotions. You're, like, weak. You see it as, like, weakness. And we do such a job, like, we try and navigate how to internalize it and then how to kind of harness it. Whether it's motivation or doing something different, you just try. And it's like you're trying to solve these problems on your own because you don't. You don't want to, like, extreme. You don't want to be the external and verbal about how you're feeling. Because, again, it's. It almost like, you know, as a man, you feel it as, like, a sign of weakness. Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Or like, leverage or, like.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just feel like over time, whether it's been through therapy or through any books that I've picked up, that's on, like, communication. You just see the entire world of how to communicate and what it looks like and how to, like, label emotions and then go from that emotion or, you know, just learning about, like, asking. Asking questions, asking yourself questions and how to externalize, you know, what's going on inside. I feel like it's been, like, super helpful for myself because, Yeah, I. It's like I look back and I see how that's like a. Oh, that was a weak spot of mine for sure. Because again, it's you. You grow up, you play sports, you do all these things, and it's like you're just like, you're. A lot of your stuff is through performance and not like, you know, taking a moment through each thing, then obstacle that happens to sit there and be vulnerable and talk about, like, how you're feeling. It's like, you don't have time to think about your feelings. The only thing you have time for is to get back out there and, like, you know, work harder, do better, figure it out.

[Charl Compton]

I mean, I think there's a place for that, too. Like. Yeah, it's both.

[Will Compton]

Absolutely. Absolutely. But it's like just growing up in that, like, model and always wanting to be, you know, like, go after football and just being at being an athlete. It's like, it just kind of, like, calluses you or you think it does until it's like, oh, yeah.

[Charl Compton]

If you were to say something like, yeah, yeah, I might, like, someone might think less of me.

[Will Compton]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So it's like, on training. Yeah.

[Mitch]

Next question might be my last one. I don't know. Kind of up to you guys. We've been going for an hour 40.

[Charl Compton]

Oh, my God.

[Mitch]

What is something that rude does now how that makes you excited, both of you. For who she will become and, like, kind of going off of that. What's it, something down the road that you're excited for both Rue and Scotty, like, when they're older or, like, their next milestone, like, what is that?

[Will Compton]

I. Scotty's just about to be six months old, so I think it's kind of hard. Like, right now. She sleeps really well, knock on wood. And she's always smiley. She's. She's like an easier baby than what Rue was, but I don't really know, like, what her personality is. That, like, excites me. But with Rue, I, I. It's hard to, like, you know, be like, oh, I got high hopes, or I have these expectations, but just, like, I don't know, man. She's very independent. She's got a little sass to her. She's like a. Her spirit is awesome. She loves to play. It seems like she's gonna, like, be into sports. I don't know if it's ballet, so whatever that stuff is, is. I'm excited about that stuff.

[Charl Compton]

Let's be honest. You're excited about her being an athlete?

[Will Compton]

I'm excited about her potentially being an athlete because I don't want to, like, put that expectation on it, but I am excited about it. I do think she has it in her, and I do think it excites her when she does stuff outside. She's very. She's very good with Scotty. And, like, Rue's aware of her emotions, and she's vocal. I feel like she knows how to talk through things. She, like, you know, loves the tea, teach. Like, when she learns something in ballet or whatever she learns, she seems to, like, love to be a teacher, which is something you're gonna have to, like, also reel in. But I feel like she could be, like, a leader of some sort one day. You just hope that she's going to be, you know, a confident woman, somebody who's. Somebody who feels confident in any room they walk into, somebody who wants to bring value in any room they walk into. I feel like she has some of those. Some of those intangible qualities. And again, I'm her dad, so I am biased, but I do feel like. Like, I don't know, I'm. I'm excited to, like, watch her grow up and just to, like, be her dad, because I feel like she's very receptive to talking with us and communicating and thinking. Like, she's somebody who's very aware and observant and asks a lot of questions, and she can recite These bedtime stories, books, memories. Insane again. I know I sound biased.

[Charl Compton]

So, like, no songs after listening, like, two or three times.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Same with the book.

[Will Compton]

Looks. Yeah. It's like, I'm just. I'm excited to see. I'm excited to see all those things.

[Charl Compton]

But she's such a performer. She, like, loves an audience, and she loves to, like, perform.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Which, I mean, where'd she get that from?

[Will Compton]

Both of us, I guess. More you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys are in the tunnel. She's having everybody do things. Jack, go outside. You know, she's.

[Mitch]

Hide and seek.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Hide and seek.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

So she is a little performer, though.

[Charl Compton]

She does love it, which is cool. I mean, not every kid is like that.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

So I think I'm excited to watch that bloom. But with Scotty and Ru together, like, because, like you said, Scotty just kind of. She just truly the happiest baby, which I hope plays into her personality overall. Like, she'll just be, like, chill and.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Who knows?

[Charl Compton]

Who knows, who knows? But I just can't wait to see them kind of, like, play together and, like, talk to each other. And, like, Scotty, I think, is already learning from Ru, so, like, the way their relationship will kind of, like, unfold more as Scotty, like, gets bigger and can do more things other than, like.

[Will Compton]

Right. Because you notice now, like, Scotty is just so fascinated by Ru, and you can just tell she's super into Ru and watches her a lot. Like, Ru won't notice, but I'll be sitting there watching Scotty, and she's, like, watching Ru and smiling, and Ru entertains her. So it is going to be really cool. And.

[Charl Compton]

And, like, those are, like, two separate beings that are, like, not us.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

They'll have, like, their own relationship.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Which is really crazy. It's nuts.

[Mitch]

I thought of one last one.

[Will Compton]

Go ahead.

[Mitch]

This is a. This is more of a question, kind of for me. What made you catch. What caught your eye about Will with those teeth?

[Will Compton]

Great question.

[Charl Compton]

Because, I mean, it's a question for you.

[Will Compton]

It. No, I know it was tough. It's like.

[Charl Compton]

I think all the rest of it just, like, evened it out.

[Will Compton]

You look back and it's like, yeah, I was a ball player.

[Charl Compton]

Like, that was not a factor for me.

[Will Compton]

I'm sure it was a little bit maybe.

[Charl Compton]

Like, really, it's not like, an intentional.

[Will Compton]

Factor, but, yeah, subconsciously, it's like.

[Charl Compton]

Like, that comes with ambition and drive and, like, athleticism and I don't know what else.

[Mitch]

How Excited, were you when you got the new teeth?

[Charl Compton]

I told Will.

[Will Compton]

She was telling me not to get them.

[Charl Compton]

I didn't tell you not to get them. I told you, do what's going to make you happy. I said, I'll be happy either way. And I truly mean that. I still mean it.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, it does feel good. It does feel good.

[Charl Compton]

You know that you think she loves.

[Will Compton]

The investment of the new teeth? There's no question about it.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. Obviously, he looks great.

[Will Compton]

It's like you look back at old photos and we're both kind of like, jesus, man.

[Charl Compton]

I mean. Yeah. We're just like, oh, my God. Was that odd? Was that you? Your neck is like.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Huge bigger neck. And.

[Charl Compton]

And like your haircuts a little. Sometimes your haircuts are a little.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Charl Compton]

Debatable.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Charl Compton]

And you just didn't smile, so. I think what I love most about Will's new teeth is that he smiles his real smile now where you used to hide your smile. And you kind of, like, had to. You were like a part of you was almost like a little bit ashamed of, like, who you were and, like, what you looked like.

[Will Compton]

Whoa. For sure. I was definitely insecure about them little Chiclets I had going on in my mouth.

[Charl Compton]

Yeah. So it's like this is giving you, like, some confidence.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Well, sweetheart, thank you for.

[Charl Compton]

I believe we did this.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, I know. Appreciate you for coming on. I do hope people, couples, men, women, got something out of this. Whether you're going through something right now, infertility, or you're thinking about it, or you're just curious on meeting my wife and getting to know us. Shout out everybody for tuning in again. Happy Mother's Day to all the wonderful mothers out there. Happy Mother's Day to you, sweetheart.

[Charl Compton]

Thanks.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure you are subscribed to the channel. Drop a comment. Big hugs, tiny kisses. We love you. We appreciate you.

[Charl Compton]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway this spring. Take care of your entire home, including the air you breathe, and save $5 when you buy 25 worth of participating products in store or online. Shop for items like Glade plugins, Airwick Plugins, Glade Auto sprays, Airwick diffusers and Glade refills. And save $5 when you spend $25 on participating products. Offer ends May 20th. Restrictions apply. Promotions may vary.

[Will Compton]

Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Charl Compton]

Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted. If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide. And every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn [e-mail] credit card based on the February 2024 Nilsen report okay, have you heard about this?

[Will Compton]

Last year, Degree changed the formula for their Cool Rush deodorant. Their fans rebelled and wanted the old SIM back. That and degree Listen, that doesn't happen often. They admitted that they effed up and are bringing the original Cool Rush scent back. And it's exactly how you remember it. Cool, crisp and fresh. There's a reason it's the number one men's antiperspirant and it's back in Walmart, Target and other stores for under $4. So try it and see what the fuss is about. Head to your local stores to try the OG cool rush for yourself. You're listening to an iHeart podcast.