The Final Barstool x Bussin' Episode | Ari Shaffir Is Leaving Standup For A Year

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Final Barstool x Bussin' Episode | Ari Shaffir Is Leaving Standup For A Year"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Bussin' With The Boys
• Host/Author: Barstool Sports
• Episode Title: The Final Barstool x Bussin' Episode | Ari Shaffir Is Leaving Standup For A Year
• Release Date: February 25, 2025

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1. Farewell to Barstool Partnership

Timestamp: 02:00 – 02:44

The episode opens with a heartfelt announcement from Will Compton and Taylor Lewan, stating that this is the final episode of "Bussing with the Boys" under the Barstool Sports umbrella. They express immense gratitude towards their listeners and fans, reminiscing about the fantastic journey and the support received over the years.

Notable Quote:

• Will Compton (02:22): "Because it's over. Smile because it. It's happened."

2. Sports Discussions: Football and Hockey Highlights

Timestamp: 04:06 – 22:07

The majority of the episode is dedicated to engaging conversations about recent sports events and the dynamics of professional athletics.

• Four Nations Hockey Tournament: Will and Taylor delve into the outcomes of the Four Nations Tournament, focusing on Team USA's unexpected loss to Canada. They critique the performance of the goalie, Connor Hellebuck, while praising the relentless effort of the Canadian team.

  Notable Quote:

  • Taylor Lewan (16:37): "I really thought there was not a chance in hell we lose that game."

• Overpaid Athletes and Contracts: A significant portion of their discussion revolves around the rising contracts of athletes, expressing concerns that excessive pay has diluted the passion and commitment to the sport. They argue that the business side of professional sports is overshadowing the love for the game.

  Notable Quote:

  • Taylor Lewan (24:24): "I think there's so much negotiating and so much business that all of that gets lost because you start to get removed from that little kid who grew up loving the game."

• Team Dynamics and Future Prospects: The hosts speculate about their team's future performance, upcoming games, and the potential impact of new players joining. They express optimism about maintaining their competitive edge despite the changes in their professional affiliations.

3. New Opportunities and Future Plans

Timestamp: 22:07 – 35:00

Will and Taylor discuss their excitement about the future beyond their current partnership with Barstool. They highlight the opportunities that lie ahead, emphasizing their commitment to evolving and adapting to new ventures. The conversation reflects a sense of anticipation and readiness to embrace the next chapter in their careers.

Notable Quote:

• Taylor Lewan (04:39): "It’s going to be awesome. Optimism, potential."

4. Guest Introduction: Ari Shaffir

Timestamp: 35:00 – 117:00

Ari Shaffir joins the podcast, bringing his unique perspective as a stand-up comedian. The trio delves into Ari's early career, including his controversial "The Amazing Racist" videos, which garnered significant attention before being canceled as societal norms evolved. Ari reflects on his growth in the comedy industry and his decision to take a break from stand-up for a year.

Notable Quote:

• Ari Shaffir (117:00): "I'm an idiot, dude. Every time they wanted to do something, I was like, let's go further. Let's go way further."

5. Personal Stories: Parties, Drinks, and Substances

Timestamp: 117:00 – 176:00

The conversation takes a candid turn as Will, Taylor, and Ari share personal anecdotes about their experiences with alcohol and substances during their athletic and comedic careers.

• Dry January and Testing: Will discusses his attempts at abstaining from substances to stay clean for season tests, highlighting the pressures athletes face to maintain their performance and public image.

  Notable Quote:

  • Will Compton (74:57): "I have one dry January throughout your career."

• Salvia and Ayahuasca Experiences: Ari shares his experiences with powerful substances like Salvia and Ayahuasca, describing the intense, introspective trips and the lasting impact they've had on his worldview.

  Notable Quote:

  • Ari Shaffir (79:08): "I was like, what? Like, I'm thinking to myself, bro, I think that would be awesome. We were talking about it, like, the..."

• College Beer Olympics: Taylor reminisces about competitive drinking events during his college years, recounting stories of intense beer chugging and flip cup competitions that fostered camaraderie and friendly rivalry.

  Notable Quote:

  • Taylor Lewan (165:36): "It really was such a core part of my life that I just love their music so much."

6. Conspiracies and Paranormal Events

Timestamp: 176:00 – 215:58

Ari brings a more speculative angle to the conversation, delving into various conspiracy theories and paranormal phenomena. The trio debates the existence of ghosts versus aliens, sharing personal ghost-hunting stories and discussing the influence of media figures like Alex Jones and Joe Rogan in perpetuating these theories.

• Aliens vs. Ghosts Debate: The hosts weigh in on whether they believe more in extraterrestrial life or supernatural entities, with Ari favoring the existence of aliens based on scientific plausibility, while also sharing his own ghost-hunting experiences.

  Notable Quote:

  • Ari Shaffir (167:26): "I think aliens. Ghosts is, like, supernatural, but could be."

• Impact of Media on Conspiracies: They explore how podcasts and media appearances have bolstered various conspiracy theories, questioning the credibility and motivations behind some of these narratives.

7. Party Stories and Beer Olympics

Timestamp: 215:58 – 278:09

The hosts continue sharing wild stories from their past, focusing on elaborate party antics, intense drinking competitions, and the culture of camaraderie that defined their college and professional interactions.

• Case Races and Drinking Games: Taylor and Ari recount memorable moments from their participation in beer Olympics and case races, emphasizing the competitive yet fun nature of these events. They highlight the blend of strategy and endurance required to excel in such drinking contests.

  Notable Quote:

  • Taylor Lewan (165:36): "It really was such a core part of my life that I just love their music so much."

• Interactions with Other Personalities: The conversation touches on their experiences interacting with other comedians and public figures, sharing humorous and sometimes chaotic encounters that have left a lasting impression.

8. Closing Remarks and Final Banter

Timestamp: 278:09 – 300:00

As the episode draws to a close, Will, Taylor, and Ari engage in light-hearted banter, reflecting on the day's conversations and teasing future endeavors despite the farewell to the Barstool partnership. They express mutual appreciation for each other's company and the shared memories that have shaped their journeys.

Notable Quote:

• Taylor Lewan (175:16): "We just have to sit here and, like, interview somebody. Like, hey. So, let's wrap it up, dude. It's been fun."

Conclusion

"The Final Barstool x Bussin' Episode | Ari Shaffir Is Leaving Standup For A Year" serves as a comprehensive farewell to the established partnership between Bussin' With The Boys and Barstool Sports. Through a blend of sports analysis, personal stories, and engaging discussions on controversial topics, the hosts offer listeners a deep dive into their professional and personal lives. The inclusion of comedian Ari Shaffir adds a dynamic layer, providing insights into the intersection of sports, comedy, and personal growth. This episode encapsulates the essence of camaraderie, candidness, and the ever-evolving nature of professional partnerships.

Transcript

[Will Compton]

What's up, boys? I hope you are having an incredible day. Just a reminder that we drop every Tuesday on Spotify, Apple podcasts, Google Play, and if you're an Amazon prime member, you can listen to our podcast ad free on Amazon Music.

[Taylor Lewan]

Huddle up.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's me, Angel Reese.

[Taylor Lewan]

You can't beat the post game burger and fries, right?

[Ari Shaffir]

Know what else you can't beat?

[Taylor Lewan]

The Angel Reese Special.

[Ari Shaffir]

Let's break it down.

[Taylor Lewan]

My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy.

[Ari Shaffir]

Bacon, pickles, onions, and a sesame seed bun of. And don't forget the fries and the drink. It's gonna be a high C for me. Sound good? All you have to do to get.

[Taylor Lewan]

It is beat me in a one on one. I'm just playing get the Angel Reese.

[Ari Shaffir]

Special at McDonald's now. Ba da ba ba ba.

[Taylor Lewan]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time.

[Ari Shaffir]

Get the Angel Reese Special at McDonald's now. Let's break it down.

[Taylor Lewan]

My favorite barbecue sauce, American cheese, crispy.

[Ari Shaffir]

Bacon, pickles, onions and a sesame seed bun, of course.

[Taylor Lewan]

And don't forget the fries and a drink.

[Ari Shaffir]

Sound good? Ba da ba ba ba.

[Taylor Lewan]

I participate in restaurants for a limited time.

[Jack McPherson]

All right, we're good.

[Will Compton]

Be like busing with the boys.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hanging with the fellas.

[Ari Shaffir]

Betting on a game.

[Taylor Lewan]

No woman's gonna tell us what to do. And I've been over here just drinking.

[Will Compton]

Beer and making that noise, baby.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm hanging with the fellas, busting with the boys, bro. Where'd you get those glasses, bub?

[Sherman]

I got him at home goods.

[Taylor Lewan]

Home goods.

[Sherman]

Because I felt like acting up.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I see it.

[Sherman]

I was kind of feeling myself because I got contacts now I don't have glasses anymore.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, boy. Switched up, huh?

[Sherman]

I'm acting up.

[Taylor Lewan]

We'll give an upd on my my eyes right after these messages because today, episode 317. It is the last episode of busting with the boys under the barstool umbrella. Let's give a round of applause to the pirate ship. We absolutely love you. Thank you so much for everything you done.

[Will Compton]

Because it's over. Smile because it. It's happened. Should we do a moment of silence?

[Taylor Lewan]

Moment of silence.

[Will Compton]

Moment of silence. Thank you. We love you.

[Taylor Lewan]

We love you. And we also love our good friends who present us. We are presented by Chevy. Playoff season reminds us that every weekend counts. To help you pack more into your weekend, Chevy has packed more into the Silverado trail boss. More capability, more muscle, more smarts. To be honest, I thought they were talking about me for a second, but we're talking about the Silverado Trail Boss is a truck that says no to nothing. Tailgates, road trips, DIY projects. Like transforming an old bus into a record studio, maybe. Bring it on, dude.

[Will Compton]

As a Silverado driver myself, I say it all the time. Taylor, what do you say? Bring it on.

[Taylor Lewan]

No doubt, dude. He says that sometimes I'll get a text in the morning, 5am just says, bring it on. I'm like, what's this guy talking about? This is a bow tie. Right after that. That's because the Silverado Trail Boss has everything you need for anything the weekend calls for. With 495 pounds per feet of torque, the Z71 suspension and 2 inch factory lift, the Trail Boss is top tier strength and agility paired with the latest truck tech inside and out. The result is a truck that can do it all. Then show up on Monday with stories for ages. So learn more about Silverado trail [e-mail] Chevrolet together. Let's drive, dude.

[Will Compton]

Isn't it crazy that starting next week.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

We don't know what atrease we're going to be doing.

[Taylor Lewan]

We don't know.

[Will Compton]

We know.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, we know one, we know two.

[Will Compton]

You're right, we do know.

[Taylor Lewan]

We know two. Possibly four. Possibly four. But if you do two plus two, that's four.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

So that's how many ad reads we have an idea about. We might have. Is there a fifth, maybe rumored? Fifth, maybe. We're. There's always. Oh, I think there is a fifth. Rumor.

[Will Compton]

There might be.

[Taylor Lewan]

There might be.

[Will Compton]

How excited are you? Grabbed the mic.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm. I'm electrostatic.

[Will Compton]

We've done, we've done the, the sadness, the farewell, the mourning, the grieving of barstool. How much we've loved barstool. But at the same time, it feels like that last week of school where field day is going to be taking place.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right.

[Will Compton]

Trying to get people to sign your yearbooks. Like it's just the vibes and love is there, but it's like we're about to go off to college.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right.

[Will Compton]

We're about to go off to the.

[Taylor Lewan]

Next chapter and who knows, right? We might get. We might get in our 30s. We might look back and go, wow, that was the greatest time of our lives. But right now we're excited about the opportunity for the future.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

And that's what we're excited about. It's going to be awesome. Optimism, potential.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Ops. Ops. Ops, ops.

[Will Compton]

How stoked are you guys? Let's see it from the back of the bus.

[Sherman]

I'm super stoked. I'm really excited. I feel like I struck out with the PMT stuff. Big cat's not answering my dms. That's okay.

[Will Compton]

Well, I think they found somebody new. They found a new shiny toy out in Canada.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, they literally found the Canadian version of it.

[Sherman]

He's a rocket.

[Taylor Lewan]

He.

[Sherman]

He's awesome.

[Taylor Lewan]

He's a beauty.

[Sherman]

You can't be mad about it.

[Will Compton]

So did he get brought on full time?

[Taylor Lewan]

I don't know. He. I know that they basically made him get a Twitter, though. He didn't have a Twitter before, and he went to part of my take. I've only seen the clips of this guy, by the way. Horrible timing. By part of my take. Horrible timing to get a Canadian producer after what Canada just did to us in the Four nations tournament. That's crazy. We'll break all that down. We'll put that in a corner. But this kid, every time I see a clip of him, I'm, like, laughing. I'm giggling to myself, like, I want to be around this guy.

[Will Compton]

He's got good vibes.

[Taylor Lewan]

He's got great vibes.

[Sherman]

He has three nut sacks.

[Taylor Lewan]

Does he really?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yes.

[Sherman]

He has three nutsacks.

[Taylor Lewan]

How much do. Are you counting?

[Will Compton]

He's got three testicles or three different balls.

[Sherman]

Three nut sacks.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hold on. Timeout is nut sack doesn't even make sense. A nut sack would imply that multiple nuts are in that sack. Are you saying that he has a nut sack holding his two balls and then two separate sacks?

[Will Compton]

Where?

[Sherman]

Two empty sacks.

[Will Compton]

So he has a ball sack and then two. Just wrinkle flaps on the side.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think he's just. Maybe he's just got droopy balls. No, no, he's got a squirrel suit. Oh, yeah.

[Will Compton]

Might have the case.

[Sherman]

He has Drew. If that's all one sack, he might.

[Will Compton]

Have a case of the Drew.

[Sherman]

I do have a challenger because I. I do have. Yeah, not tmi, but, like, I got one of the droopiest sacks of all time.

[Ari Shaffir]

You.

[Taylor Lewan]

You. You do a great job.

[Will Compton]

Charge with the droopy sack.

[Sherman]

The droopy sack that you do.

[Ari Shaffir]

Sure.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're like the B doing the batwing from the movie. Waiting. Yes, thank you.

[Sherman]

I'll pass off the mic because I'm gonna pull up. I have a picture of the three sacks.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think that's okay. I think I'm okay with that. Being on our bus.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. I mean, we can see it.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I'd love to see it. Maybe the viewer doesn't see it. Maybe we can show them a blurry screen. We'll show them a blurry screen, but just know we'll see it in person. Go ahead, pass it to Mike Mitch while he's pulling that up. So there's no dead time. How do you feel about these new lands?

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm stoked to see what it looks like. I mean, from what it seems like nothing's going to change.

[Taylor Lewan]

So I mean stoked to see what it looks like. Sounds like nothing's changing.

[Will Compton]

If we're by listening Mitch is just somebody you just tell. Hey, buddy. Nothing's gonna happen here.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, don't worry. It's all good.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, I just. I just know I'm. I'm good within my lane of. Of thinking in my lane of work. So. But I mean all the new opportunities and stuff that we're gonna have, it's gonna be. It's gonna be awesome.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'll tell you this, Mitch. Comfort is the enemy of growth.

[Ari Shaffir]

What do you want me. Is. Am I saying. Am I being comfortable right now?

[Taylor Lewan]

I mean, you just. I'm comfortable in my lane. I'm in right now doing a great job. I think you're doing a great job.

[Will Compton]

Alluding to. He's uncomfortable for a second. But now that he knows.

[Taylor Lewan]

You always gotta stay busy. Only the paranoid survive. You gotta keep. Always be worried about who's gonna get you.

[Sherman]

Is this Internet safe photo of the two empty sacks are drooping out of his jorts in this photo.

[Will Compton]

Can we.

[Taylor Lewan]

Can we see?

[Sherman]

I'll pull up the real one, but I just want.

[Taylor Lewan]

But this is for the viewer. This is for the viewer. Interesting arm placement by big cat. Hey, Mitch, you're not in trouble, brother.

[Ari Shaffir]

I was just confused. I'm like. I don't know what. What you're what? That comment.

[Taylor Lewan]

We can't get comfortable. We got to keep. We got to keep moving. We're going to a big. We're going to a big pond.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's. That's exactly what we're doing. We're getting. We're going into uncharted territory. We're going to see. We're going to test the waters and.

[Taylor Lewan]

We'Re going to crush it heads on a swivel. Keynote species keystone or keynote keystone species. That did go so hard. That did. Where are we at? Oh, that's a sack.

[Will Compton]

Oh yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's just. First off, good on him for the comfort to put those jorts on and know what was hanging.

[Will Compton]

That's disgusting. That's disgusting.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's. So I saw that photo this weekend and I thought that was just some lake fat that some Some triple C thick kind of stuff.

[Sherman]

Yeah, he's got a chip, a triple.

[Taylor Lewan]

T Scroop, three sacks, three sack, triple T Squirrel. Perfect transition to Jack McPherson. How you feeling, buddy?

[J.P.]

Super excited. I am pumped. Talk about all the time on the bus, but, like, coming from the gravel lot, coming from the old abandoned church, no WI fi hotspot, no ac. It's cool to see the growth of where we've come from, where we're going. Hopefully we maintain that gritty aspect as we always have Gunar X mentality. Overall, very excited for what's to come. I think everyone's on that same page where just kind of a. A new chapter for us and kind of. We know it's gonna happen, but at the same time, there's so much that you know is gonna happen in the next six months to a year. So it's gonna be fun how it all unfolds, but big, big things ahead for the boys, that's for sure. So pumped, jp.

[Jack McPherson]

About the opportunity to go to some of these events that we were speaking on last week. We're going to have some. Some opportunities to go to my personal bucket list events around the country, and it'll be awesome to hopefully be able to experience those things. And also the new. Obviously the barstool talent is awesome to work with and bounce off of, but I think the new guys that we'll be able to bounce off with as well is going to be really fun and it's going to be a new. The same style of content but with new people. And I think it's going to bring, like, some new energy to our content and some.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, like you're speaking to, too. Some of that access we're going to be getting.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, the level of access will be outstanding.

[Will Compton]

There's.

[Taylor Lewan]

Sorry about that. Is that. Is that bucket list for you?

[Jack McPherson]

Yeah, I would love. Yeah. At least once.

[Taylor Lewan]

I feel we could say that out loud.

[Jack McPherson]

Yeah, I think. I think it'd be good to say it out loud.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. The Derby. Kentucky Derby.

[Jack McPherson]

Kentucky.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's a. JP's.

[Will Compton]

That's what you were talking about.

[Jack McPherson]

Kentucky Derby, NBA Finals, March Madness.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Go to check those things out would be awesome. Sherman's got. Sherman's got the Masters pulled up on the screen there. That's a tough time. That's a tough time for us to go because that's Spring tour.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh.

[Will Compton]

Oh.

[Sherman]

I thought you were saying a tough time being there.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm like, no, I think. I think that would be a really fun to go to. To go to it. Everyone Knows I'm not a huge golf guy, but to check that, I'll be like, have you been in the Masters? And say, yes, I've been to waste management. I know what that's about. I mess with that. Look at jp. He stayed ready last year.

[Will Compton]

And we.

[Sherman]

Can hit up Athens.

[Will Compton]

There's. There's. God, I hate that. We can't talk about it yet, but there is one brand move that I'm. Hey, should you get rocked up for it? No, that's one, too.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh. But yes. The one that.

[Will Compton]

The one.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

You and I. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Chest bumping.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. We're talking.

[Will Compton]

We see each other every five minutes and just back. Let's go.

[Taylor Lewan]

I know. Because it is. Don't want to say too much right now.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. We don't want to say too much that we're. We're teasing. We're playing.

[Taylor Lewan]

I know, I know. And it is. Listen, March 1st.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Next week.

[Taylor Lewan]

Next week, you guys will have. We'll. We'll open this whole thing up. We'll. We'll do a whole. We'll tell you everything about it, you guys. Anything you guys want to know. If you have questions for us that you want to know specifically. Comments, comments, comments, comments. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Gee.

[Taylor Lewan]

How you feeling, baby? Being an OG guy, seeing all this change, Jack kind of alluded to a little.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, it feels good. Same thing everyone said. I think it's exciting to have new opportunity. You know, being uncomfortable is like the best thing for everybody. But, yeah, good. Good opportunities on the horizon, new people to be around, interact with. It's cool to see for sure. Coming from the generator to, you know, where we are now, we'll still be right here.

[Taylor Lewan]

We'll still be living. And what last week or two weeks ago, we had no WI fi for like a day and a half. Ye. So we still get adverse all the time.

[Will Compton]

Same guys and Comcast, dude, they've got to get their.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. What was going. I saw your. Your Twitter. I kind of just put something in there.

[Will Compton]

So you know how Char has the bar threes here in Nashville? The two bar three spots you want to get in.

[Taylor Lewan]

You want to name those locations?

[Will Compton]

Paddock Place, Gulch. They have bar threes. But anyway, her. Both of those businesses struggled with WI fi. They weren't getting WI fi all week. And who's their service partner?

[Taylor Lewan]

Can I guess?

[Will Compton]

Go ahead.

[Taylor Lewan]

Comcast.

[Will Compton]

Yes.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, my God.

[Will Compton]

So she says that. I'm thinking, yo, we're with Comcast, too. And then that's when I got on. That's when I Got on Twitter.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hey, we're with Comcast. Also, were you having trouble at the house?

[Will Compton]

I heard. No, no. Because we don't have Comcast at the house.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay.

[Will Compton]

You know what I mean? Like, we were solid.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. But I don't know what your. I don't know what your Internet provider is, but anytime we get on the game at night, like, you. You. You and Jack are the ones that lag out the most.

[Will Compton]

What do I have? I have fiber. I have one of the fibers. I actually have good Internet. I think it's like, you know how you'll go into Xbox, and It's like the PvP. Do you know what I'm talking about, Jack? Like, it's got this NAT type. NAT have. You guys know what I'm talking about? Yeah. I sound crazy right now, but I know people.

[Taylor Lewan]

You sound a little crazy to me. I don't know.

[Will Compton]

There's a NAT type that. It's like, connection. If it's not all access. Like, if there's middle ground, it kind of hurts. Like, connecting to other players and everything. Everything else.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

So that was the issue I was struggling with. I ultimately just had to reset the modem.

[Taylor Lewan]

And then you resolved the router. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

You know what I mean?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

To the point to where you're like, hey, should I time this, or is it kind of just a guess on 30 seconds? Does it have to be 30 seconds? Let me just go ahead and wait a minute, just in case.

[Taylor Lewan]

Just admit.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Dude, is that because I don't want.

[Will Compton]

To have to come back down.

[Taylor Lewan]

No doubt. Is there ever a time that 30 seconds goes by slower than unplugging your router? It's like, it might as well be an hour and a half.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

It takes forever.

[Will Compton]

You want to do it right? Because you don't have to have to be back there doing the same.

[Taylor Lewan]

No doubt.

[Will Compton]

When you.

[Taylor Lewan]

No doubt. I got, like, this, the smart home, like, thing. Anytime anything goes down, it's like, in this room, like, this specific little room with all the things are. But it's locked. I don't have a key, so I have to call somebody. Be like, hey, what do I do? He's like, keys under the mat over here. I have to go do it myself. And then I literally. I literally. I open it up, and I look at this thing, and I'm like, what button do I press? This is crazy. It's like a 1970s computer.

[Will Compton]

Boys, I'm not gonna play tonight.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I just. It's not even worse than take me out. Yeah. Keep on pushing forward. So we got. We got excited, right? We're greener pastures. We hope it's gonna be really. I'm super stoked about the opportunity, the access, the ability, new characters to kind of, like, hang out with, collaborate with. It'll be a lot of fun. That's good news. Let's talk about some bad news.

[Will Compton]

Canada.

[Taylor Lewan]

Canada. They got us, dude.

[Will Compton]

How's it been at home?

[Taylor Lewan]

Terrible. It's been terrible. It's been terrible at home, and it wasn't.

[Will Compton]

It feels like you should be wearing a Canadian jersey right now.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Taylor said something to me, like, if you lose, you we have to do something. And she says something so outlandish. I was like, no, I'm not doing that. But if you want to make a bet, I'm down. Like, get. Like, you have to get an American flag tattoo type of thing. Yeah, something like that. But, God, what a smoke show.

[Will Compton]

Great photo. The girl, dead hat.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, she's all time. Got that herself. Yeah. He actually taught me how to fish.

[Will Compton]

Nice.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah. But that game, dude, just going into it, I really thought there was not a chance in hell we lose that game. I didn't think there's chance now. We came out of the game and with a. For the first game, nine seconds, three fights. So I'm. I'm expecting some sort of sparks to fly. It seemed like America thought they sent a message, and we're kind of backing up a little bit, like, okay, now we're gonna play. They kind of fell into Canada's game of like, hey, we'll go speed for speed. Match it up. And I just didn't think they got physical enough in the beginning. They go up 1 0, and I start to panic in my head. But then I realize Canada's gone up 10 in every single game of the Four nations tournament. So then we score. Then we score again. I'm like, we're about to run the away with this thing. End up going to overtime, dude. And this. We were crushing Bennington. So Bennington, fun. Like, literally, when I'm in Canada, Bennington's the goalie for Canada.

[Will Compton]

St. Louis Blue. I learned.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, people have this. The country of Canada has basically disowned this cat for the last 10 days. However long this tournament's going on. They said, this guy's a sieve. He sucks. Like, he's a mental head case. Civ is like. Like, if you're. You put it like pasta, like when you're straining pasta, and it has a bunch of holes in it. So he Essentially, like, he's a civ. Like, yeah, Swiss cheese. Yeah. If you're a goalie, like, it's like, if you go to a Michigan game or a Predators game, like, when they score, when the home team scores, they'll like, save, save, save. And they'll have, like, this big chant calling you out, basically calling you a. And you have to stand there in the. In the crease by yourself, just kind of, like, looking down, grabbing a drink of water.

[Will Compton]

It's there.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's terrible. But this dude goes in a flow state. In the. In the overtime, we outshot. We. We were peppering the net over and over and over again, and this guy was blocking everything. And then who else? Connor McFucking David Mc Jesus. Sitting in the front open like no one's there to bump uglies with this guy. And he just gets an open net shot and puts our boy in a blender. What's our dude's name?

[Will Compton]

Connor Hellebuck.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hallibuck. I want to say Halifax, but Hallibuck. Like, dude, he played. He played amazing. Halifax Highlanders, baby. He played amazing all tournament. But I'm just thinking to myself, bro, we should have won that game. Like, we outplayed them. We outplayed them. Should have put the bed in third. We should have put it to bed overtime. Like, we were in their offensive zone so much. The second period, it got dicey. And even the start of the third, like, they were in our offensive zone so much, and it's like I'm. I'm sitting there watching the game, literally beaming with American pride. Like, when they score, my heart sinks. And then we score, I'm, like, cheering all that between periods. I'm calling my wife. She's got her whole family in her mom's apartment. They're chirping at me. We're going back and forth. They're talking about Wayne Gretz. He's her honorary captain. I'm like, he can't save you. He's too old.

[Will Compton]

We have microruzion.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. We have micro. The ultimate locker room guy. Like, what do you want? Like, what do you. Well, you can go tit for tat, no problem. So. It just sucks, man. It sucks.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. It's got to shoot it better, man.

[Taylor Lewan]

The minute.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, for sure.

[Taylor Lewan]

The minute.

[Will Compton]

I'm like, damn, this guy's a savage. You gotta. You gotta place it better on the net.

[Taylor Lewan]

What's amazing to me about hockey is these dudes will be in the skate faster. These dudes will be in the board, guys, and they'll be like, in traffic, and they'll just throw the puck, like, across the ice. And they're boys right there. Like, they know where everybody's at. It is crazy, the amount of chemistry and flow and, like, poetic movement these cats have, and they're just always aware of where each other are at. It is nuts.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, it's impressive. I just think they're out there skate.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I just think they're out there just playing, like, because you.

[Taylor Lewan]

You watch that and you're like, I could do this.

[Will Compton]

Oh, I don't think that whatsoever.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think to myself. So I'm like, yo, I think that would be awesome. We were talking about it, like, the.

[Will Compton]

How fast they're moving out there for how tight of an area it can be. It's insane.

[Taylor Lewan]

Crazy.

[Will Compton]

Like, I don't know, the actual distance between blue lines, but it's not big.

[Taylor Lewan]

No.

[Will Compton]

And you're flying.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I just think it's. That game was so crazy because it's so much fun. It's their All Star week, and they're just out there laying it on the line for their country. They played games on Saturday. Yeah. Back to the NHL.

[Taylor Lewan]

Back to the NHL. Literally, those guys who were on opposite teams hating each other just went back to being on the same team.

[Will Compton]

Like, when we lost.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hey, sorry about that. Oh, yeah, no problem, buddy. Let's get.

[Will Compton]

When we lost, I was bummed, but.

[Taylor Lewan]

Just, you know, the Americans were tight. Canadians were in there like, oh, you.

[Will Compton]

Know, hey, when we lost, just seeing the. The defeat on Team usa, like, to me, like, yeah, I was bummed that the USA lost, but I don't really watch hockey. I'm kind of watching because the countries, like, the moment that this thing was shaping up to be. I didn't even know what the four nations was then. You're learning that it's just a tournament in the middle of the season, and these guys just. It's all for pride.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's brand new.

[Will Compton]

This is the first year seeing the defeat. Oh, this year was the very first.

[Taylor Lewan]

Very first year they did it.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. And seeing just. Just how down bad Team USA was, I just. I With it not because they lost, but because of how much these guys care about this one solo game. And ultimately, it's like in their world of the NHL and everything else, like, it doesn't matter. Right, Right. But it does. It's like that little kid that's, like watching all these. These leagues and these games in the 90s where it was all about work ethic and pride and heart and everything. I'm not saying that doesn anymore. Obviously everybody plays with a lot of heart and everything else, but just seeing it, I felt like that was the example and that was the product that just had you bought in where it was like a massive win for hockey because no other leagues are doing that. The other leagues are. Are doing something in the middle of the year to where the guys would just sell out. Like, I want to say PK Subban was having that rant on. I forget whatever show it was, I.

[Taylor Lewan]

Think it was first take.

[Will Compton]

First take? Yeah, first take about, like, the difference between them and the NBA. I thought he was spot on about it. It's just like, yeah, those guys are killers on the ice. Again, not saying there's not killers in the NBA, but the viewership and everything else I thought was a massive win for hockey and a massive win for the sport.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, it was like. It was a most watched game in the last 30 years of hockey. The most watched game.

[Will Compton]

Just nuts.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's. It's crazy. And like, my brother. So my brother played junior hockey. He. I was. My dad's from Minnesota. Like, I was like, a little bit in that world. Like, I spent a lot of time as a kid at the Ice Den in Scottsdale, Arizona, where my brother would always go. So it was always. I kind of had, like, a basic, very, like, 101 understanding of hockey. But to see other people who have never even watched hockey, like, never cared to watch it, it's awesome to see how much it was talked about because it is one of the most entertaining sports.

[Will Compton]

And how loud that arena seemed to be. Like, yeah, dude, everyone is bought in. Like, that was an Olympic gold medal being played for.

[Taylor Lewan]

That was. And it was for nothing. Yeah. Like, you guys got hats in a trophy that essentially, like, I guess it means something now. Like, no. No Olympic medal, no Stanley Cup. And the energy was Stanley cup finals. It was intense. It was awesome. Y'all been to Pregs games? They're all. Dude, the intensity is unbelievable. And how many games those guys play? What do they play? Like, how many games they play? 83.

[Will Compton]

Something.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, 82 a year. And just to come up with that kind of intensity week in and week out is just wild.

[Will Compton]

We play 82 and then you get into a playoff series.

[Taylor Lewan]

Series. Best of seven.

[Will Compton]

Seven for four rounds.

[Taylor Lewan]

Crazy, man. Just crazy. But, yeah, it is. It is interesting because, like, I. We don't know a lot about basketball. Would love to jump into basketball a little bit more and kind of figure that world out, but at the same time, like, you Watch some of the clips from the All Star game when they're doing the three point shooting and they're just going for time, so they're kind of throwing the ball on the ground. They go to the next thing. It's not entertaining at all. And you can tell these guys just kind of don't give a shit. Like they're, they're a part of it. They got their All Star jersey on. They add another notch. They're all belt that they're really excited about. So when the career is over, that's part of their legacy, which is awesome, but it just kind of sucks. Like, there's nothing really to get excited about.

[Will Compton]

I wonder how you can spice it up. Like, is there something similar that the NBA could take from the NHL to do? J.P. i know you're our NBA expert.

[Jack McPherson]

Expert. Back in middle school, I was the expert. I just think I was telling you guys this the other day. Like, in a lot of sports, I believe, and I want athletes to get paid, but I think they're overpaid because when, even when we're growing up, they're not. The eighth guy on the roster is not getting the $80 million contract. So they show up to the All Star Game. They want to win the skills competition. Everybody wants to compete in the dunk contest. You want to win the three point contest. There's so much more pride. I'm sure there's incentive to win it financially. But now it's like, if the eighth best player on your team is getting $60 million, what do they care about an off weekend? Why would they want to try? And then you see it in the regular season. It's like so many dudes are resting. And that never used to happen because.

[Will Compton]

That'S what was PK was talking about. He's like, there's a difference between, between being hurt and being injured. Right? Playing injured. And guys like us were playing hurt.

[Jack McPherson]

They play the same amount of games. 81 in the NBA, 82 in the NHL. And you don't see guys in the NHL doing rest and then they've in like two weeks. But yeah, I think the NBA, like, they're losing the fans just because we can tell that, like the heart's not in it. And it used to be in it and now it's just kind of.

[Taylor Lewan]

There's a level of pride that used to come with it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Right?

[Taylor Lewan]

Right. That much money and you're like sitting on the bench playing only a couple minutes a game. Like, I like, I'm sorry it's hard to Sit there and be like, yo, I'm gonna go balls out in this All Star thing. That really means nothing.

[Will Compton]

And especially when you're in the middle of the season, you gotta. You gotta think about, you know, you're thinking about injuries. Like, hey, this is. This is a very low. Especially when you're getting paid, the amount you're getting paid, because I think that's fair to say. It's like, that's not right.

[Jack McPherson]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think, like, Matt Stafford, he's asking for 50 million. And again, I love sports. I want people to get rich. But no athlete should be getting paid 50 million a year. Oh, I know that could be a hot take. But, like, there's so many other things out there. And, like, in people and you fans see it.

[Taylor Lewan]

What's a fair number to you?

[Jack McPherson]

I don't know.

[Will Compton]

I mean, yeah, teams try to do that with contracts. Teams try to do more incentive.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. But it's never the guys that are, like, commanding the, like, the most money.

[Jack McPherson]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

The guys with the incentives are never the dudes. They're like the highest paid with incentives up to even higher paid.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's always the guys that, like, you know, maybe they got hurt and they got. They gotta have a prove it deal or, you know, if they get this many yards, something that the team will sit there and be like, essentially, you're gambling. You're like, you know, if he does this, great for us, right? He's gets another $250,000.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

But to put it. Put. To put a cap on how much guys make is. Is tough. I understand where you're coming from.

[Ari Shaffir]

Right.

[Taylor Lewan]

I don't have a line to draw right now. I just. It'd be crazy to be like Stafford. I'm thinking to myself, like, if you command $50 million, you should get $50 million.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Jack McPherson]

I would want it too, if I was him.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Jack McPherson]

But I do, like, I think fans now more so than ever, are getting fed up with athletes. Because you see guys in the NFL, they're walking out on their team. Guys in the NBA are sitting out, and it's like, yeah, college football people are sitting out and getting paid. And as the fan, you're just like, again, I want them to be rich. All these things. But, like, man, like, put it. Pour in your heart to it how everybody feels they would if they were in that position.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. It's unfortunate because it's one of those, like, it is what it is situations. Right. Because you grow up, like, we're all. We were all young Athletes growing up aspiring to play professional sports. And it's like there's this love of the game, this love of the game, this grit, this hunger, this heart, all of it that goes involved. And when you're a fan, it's. You hold that same mentality and standard. Whereas as you're a player getting to learn it and realizing you're ultimately in a business and you get used up as a commodity and then you taste the business a little bit, it creates a little bit of that bitterness and it's hard to you kind of like, it's like some of it gets lost because you're also realizing that you are in a business and it is such a business that makes hundreds of millions of dollars. And if there was a massive, we're just obviously the mass. Everything got brought up. But if say somebody's getting a contract and it's all incentive based and a team that's trying to win, it's like, yo, I'm going to guarantee you raise your floor that much higher. That resets a market. Guys learn that, hey, this is the new market, then guys are comparing. But it's also, it's such a business like inside and when you're on the outside of it, it's all about the love of the game and everything else and it just, it gets blurred. So I don't, I hear you and I feel what you're saying and I want the athletes to get paid. I want all that to happen. But even as a sports fan, becoming more of a sports fan now, now that I'm out of it and kind of like when you watch that Four nations hockey game go on and you're kind of watching it from that perspective of that little kid growing up and loving the sport, loving the competition and seeing it in their eyes, you yearn and want that for the athletes now, but it's. With the money dynamic and the business going on, I do feel like a lot of leverage is tilting more toward the players, which is what every player and what every CBA and union fights for. It's like you want everything incentive based. But then when you got the, the guaranteed contracts in NBA, even NHL, it's like, I know the NFL works, wants to work toward a sport for 100% guaranteed contracts in a sport that is, you know, has 100% injury rate. So it's, it's so much negotiating and so much business that all of that gets lost. You start to get removed from that little kid who grew up loving the game. You still love the game, but you realize that they view you as a commodity, they'll cut your ass, they'll trade you, they'll do whatever they want with you. And when you start to realize that and understand that, you start to play that game against them versus understanding that little kid that just wanted the opportunity. I'm grateful for the opportunity. You start to feel like, okay, there is leverage in here. I got to figure out what my leverage is. And then you try to find it and you try to capitalize on it, which blurs the lines for the fandom of the sport, the love of the game part of the sport. Because there is.

[Jack McPherson]

Because the fan is like, yeah, I work for a company and I'm viewed as a commodity, and they could fire me. They could do whatever they want to me. And that the employee wants power with the employer.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Jack McPherson]

So it's like, that's why they get so frustrated with the athlete stuff. It's like everybody gets it. And ultimately everybody does want the same thing. Like, everybody being treated fairly. But it's just wild to me. And you look at all of the favorite players amongst the people. They all have, like, the same thing in common. Like, everybody loves Saquon Barkley because Saquon Barkley wants to play the entire game, and it's going to run his butt off. Derek Henry, like, all these Tom Brady, like, those guys were paid handsomely, but they showed up, and it's like you can feel the passion.

[Taylor Lewan]

It is. It is different that one statement. Because football is only 17 games in the regular season, as opposed to 82, 83, 100 for baseball. So, I mean, I get both sides. It is. The. The thing is, is you. When you grow up and you play a sport, we've all played sports. And you, like, have a love and a passion for that sport. Whatever. Whatever it was that you played. And then you get to college when Will and I played, it's like that school is just all into you. Like, how can we make this guy better? Better academically better, so he can be better for our football team.

[Will Compton]

Life skills.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Now it's like, guys are. Players seem like they have all the leverage in college football as opposed to in the NFL, when it's more like you. It's definitely a split agency.

[Will Compton]

There's.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

But when everyone understands who's getting paid. What.

[Taylor Lewan]

When you're in, like, when Willow. And back in our day, like 2013, 2014, when we get into the league, I remember sitting there for the first cuts and, you know, there's 93 guys on a team, and you sit there. And like the next day there's, you know, 72 being there should be another cut that gets down to 53 the next day. And you're like, yo, what the is this? This is crazy. And that's when, that's when it really starts. You start to realize that you are a commodity and you're only as good as long as you can last for that thing. So I understand why players are like looking out for themselves and I understand, you know, wanting the most dollar amount you could possibly want. But like, how do you get to a point if you're a franchise, showing that you care enough about the player, so the player cares enough about you as well? Because it's the world we're going in right now really seems like it's kind of like a standoff. Like there was always that underlying, like, you get the 10 year vet and be like, hey, listen, they're gonna get you. Like, if once you're not good enough, they're gonna get you. But now more than ever, it's like more clear, more out the open that like, it seems like the team versus the players as opposed to the teams, the players being a part of the team. Does that make sense?

[Sherman]

Yeah, that makes sense. And I was just going to add, like, I don't think it's a league thing. Like, the types of people that are like in the NHL are different than in the NBA. I think it truly is like you are saying with the money, it's just apathy is a natural thing. It. Filming a vlog and editing it for JP is as second nature as NBA player dunking a basketball. So if JP is getting paid $20 million, film a vlog for you guys. He's going to be sitting there going, why the am I doing this? Like, why am I filming a vlog? I make 20 million a year. Like, this is dumb. You know what I mean? Like, it's just, I don't know, I. I feel like it's a natural thing.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. But I think to myself, like, you know, someone paying you $20 million to make a vlog, it's like, you'd make the best goddamn vlog ever, wouldn't you?

[Sherman]

You would think you would think.

[Jack McPherson]

20 million to play in the NBA. You better show up every single night like you're making $20 million.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, fair point. Yeah, fair point. But NBA is like not the only one that does a subpar All Star game. Like, we watch the Pro bowl. Like, we actually don't watch the Pro Bowl. It's like, yeah, they're Doing, like, sled pushes and now. And even lucky enough to play in a couple of them bad boys. Like, when I played it, there was actual game, and the game was like, you jog, you're like. You're essentially in a jog throw while fans are watching you.

[Will Compton]

A couple guys, you're trying not to get hurt.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're trying not to get hurt. And you're being a free agent, and as. As offensive lineman, you're like, hey, if somebody starts going hard, we'll just slide towards that guy. We'll. We'll slow him down real quick, and then it'll all go back to the status quo. So it's not like the NBA is the only All Star game that's, like, not showing up the way it should. But I think with the hockey thing, it just kind of comes down to, like, that patriotic pride, that pride in your country to be like, yo, I get to play for something with. Yeah. With the stars and stripes on my chest. With the maple leaf on my chest. Whatever Sweden and Finland have on their chest, like, they're. Yeah. Three crowns. Like Forestberg was. Forsberg played in that tournament. That's awesome. I'm sure he was.

[Will Compton]

You know, I mean, Sidney Crosby, my wife was like, is that Sidney Crosby's son? And I'm like, no, he's still playing.

[Taylor Lewan]

Still playing. Like, the longevity seems so much longer after it. 26 years he's been playing international games and just dominating. Yeah, I did it again, too.

[Will Compton]

One thing that is crazy about hockey, though, is, like, you're on the. Only on the ice for, like, 15 seconds.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah. Like a long shift is a minute. Yeah, but that's why the boys go so hard.

[Will Compton]

That's why you can go hard while.

[Taylor Lewan]

You play long, ma'am.

[Will Compton]

And when you stop moving, you're still moving.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, you're just. Just going forward.

[Will Compton]

So it is crazy.

[Taylor Lewan]

It is nuts, man.

[Will Compton]

It's an interesting conversation to talk about because, yeah, I. I understand all those different angles. It's like you want those things. And selfishly, from the player perspective, when you realize, hey, when these cheers and booze die out, like, who's going to be standing there next to you? And it's like you ultimately, it's like your family and people that are going to be with you after you. You've left the sport. So you need to figure out how to juice as much as you can out of that sport while you're playing that sport.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. How do you want to be remembered? Tough.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, tough.

[Taylor Lewan]

Look for the NBA, they took a Hard out. They took a hard out in football.

[Will Compton]

I feel like it's hard just because you, you can't. Like, we couldn't do a tournament like that because you're not able to play.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Multiple games in a week and I.

[Taylor Lewan]

Feel like we would be the first one. Not the first ones, but I think it's easier for us to like give an excuse to football because they could, they could argue. You guys play an eighth of the games we play per year. You guys don't even play hardly at all. Like, how is it that hard? And hockey is super physical. Way harder than 90. 90 of hockey is played in the board.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hockey's so physical too, though.

[Will Compton]

Not as physical as.

[Taylor Lewan]

Well.

[Will Compton]

No physical.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, no, you're right. You're right. Football is the most physical sport.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Maybe rugby. Probably not. Dude, Rugby. I. I don't even.

[Will Compton]

Rugby rugby.

[Jack McPherson]

Everyone gets it in rugby.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, everyone does. He's hardcore.

[Taylor Lewan]

There's the scrum. Everyone's locking up. God, so much we don't know about sports.

[Will Compton]

I mean, MMA is pretty violent.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, that's. Yeah, that's probably.

[Will Compton]

They only fight a couple times a year.

[Taylor Lewan]

They do. I mean, you fight a lot. What are you fighting three times a year? Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're fighting a lot during camp for 24 weeks. Yeah, we should, we should do this adery and then we obviously should talk about Michael Chandler getting his next fight.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Big fight coming up.

[Taylor Lewan]

You want to hit that? That ad.

[Will Compton]

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[Ari Shaffir]

Boston.

[Taylor Lewan]

Michael Chandler fighting Patty Pimblett. That his name? Patty Pimples. Give right applause for Mike back in the octagon. Quickly, quickly, ma'am. I mean, we can go around and circle and see who we think are gonna win. Mike first round.

[Will Compton]

This is busting with the boys. Michael Chandler is our fighter.

[Taylor Lewan]

He's our boy. That's our guy. It's gonna be jp.

[Will Compton]

How do you feel about the fight? NBA UFC expert. Yeah. Tuning in, chiming in.

[Jack McPherson]

I love it for Mike. It's a big name that he gets to fight against that brings a lot of buzz to every fight. And even Mike has had almost all great fights. But I would say of all of the people he's fought, Patty is probably the best promoter out of Oliveira. Hooker Poirier. Poirier is a good promoter just because he's been there for so long. But you even see Dustin Poirier on Twitter, who he has called Mike a. All the different things he says, all the bad things about him, but he's like, I got Mike. Regardless of how I feel about him, he's probably going to win first round, second round. So when Poirier is on his side, you know that the matchup is favorable, and I can't wait to watch it, because it also will just kind of propel Mike to another banger fight after this.

[Will Compton]

It's like.

[Jack McPherson]

It's just.

[Will Compton]

And you're right, too, the marketability of Patty and his promotional style, like, him going to that. That gym not too long ago and tapping out that.

[Jack McPherson]

Yeah, that.

[Will Compton]

Was it a troll? Was it a fighter that had said some offhand to him?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, some guy was talking, so he just pulled up on him.

[Will Compton]

Him and his team, they pulled up, they circled around. It was this little gym. They put some. They put some pads on, and they went. And Patty had him choked out, and the dude was tapping out, and Patty wouldn't let him go.

[Jack McPherson]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Put him to sleep for real.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Well, did he? I don't know if he.

[Jack McPherson]

I don't think he put him to.

[Will Compton]

Sleep, but Patty just wasn't letting go to where everybody had to kind of jump in and break him up. Like, it was. It was fueled. It was, like, real. It was, like, real hate that they.

[Jack McPherson]

Were fighting about and stylistically I think it's the first time Mike has fought somebody that also will. He's a little bit more calculated, but he's down to go, balls to the wall and just put on a show.

[Taylor Lewan]

We got some fireworks.

[Jack McPherson]

Fireworks in Miami, which good for Mike pay wise. I guess the same would be the same as Vegas, but he still hasn't got the Vegas.

[Taylor Lewan]

I know I hit him up. I was like, I swear to God, at this point, it's like a joke. I know they don't let you fight in Vegas. He's like, I know, I was pissed about too, but Miami is awesome. It's gonna be awesome. I think he wants to fight again quickly.

[Jack McPherson]

I would imagine he would because he's, I mean, dude, he's played his matchup game so well. Yeah, he's always fought a big name. Patty is, you know, lower ranked, but huge name. And it's going to set him up for another probably top five matchup. And usually if you have Mike's record, you probably wouldn't be getting all those matchups.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

But it's probably want to fight somebody quick too because, you know, he's not getting any younger.

[Taylor Lewan]

True.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, he's like older in the fight game.

[Taylor Lewan]

I know.

[Will Compton]

And you got to get it while you can.

[Taylor Lewan]

The McGregor thing, having like what, two years off.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, it just.

[Taylor Lewan]

That just sucks everything.

[Jack McPherson]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

But yeah, I mean, you brought the record like going 2 and 4 in the UFC. Like, it doesn't feel like Mike's gone 2 and 4 at all. Feels like he's undefeated because every fight he goes into, even the Oliveira one, which we can look at and be like, those first four rounds he lost, he didn't. He was there on the ground. Looks like he was resting. But in that fifth round, it kind of erased the other four in your mind, the result was still the same. But like, watching it, you're like, I mean, jp, we were there. You know what I'm talking about.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, J.P. knows what.

[Taylor Lewan]

I know what I'm talking about.

[Will Compton]

Hey, the Internet's bro.

[Taylor Lewan]

He pointed and he.

[Will Compton]

Dude, Comcast, man.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, yeah, we Comcast.

[Will Compton]

Comcast, yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

God.

[Will Compton]

He said, are we Comcast?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. But when in that fifth round, you and I are there over the shoulders of Tulsi Gabbard, rfk, screaming at the top of top of our lungs, thinking he's gonna end it right here and then stands up in the middle of the ring with 30 seconds left and body slams him with a smile on his face. It just says it and does it?

[Jack McPherson]

They say we're at the end of the violence era of ufc because Michael B. On his way out. Poirier's on his way out. Gaethje on his way out. Holloway on his way out. Volk on his way out. All those guys put on shows. And now featherweights, they still have good championship fights, but all these other dudes are just a lot of grapplers that they're not. They're not violent.

[Taylor Lewan]

More tactical.

[Jack McPherson]

Yeah, obviously they're violent.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. You have like five of them dudes.

[Will Compton]

Roll up, but yeah, pussies out there. Pussy.

[Ari Shaffir]

Fine.

[Taylor Lewan]

Internet's back. Just like that. Internet's back. Yeah, but dude, shout out. Mike. I know he's. He went out to camp excited to watch the boy. I don't think we'll be able to make it because we'll be.

[Jack McPherson]

Spring tour.

[Taylor Lewan]

Spring tour.

[Will Compton]

Spring toured it up. It'll be doing cool stuff at the spring tour.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

So anyway, fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think. Yeah. I think we're dialed.

[Will Compton]

Have you heard from.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. From your end. Yeah. And they're like, yeah, we're on board with that for sure. They think we'll talk. We'll talk. But I think spring tour is going to be awesome.

[Will Compton]

We can talk about who it is, right?

[Sherman]

Locations.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Getting out to a couple alma maters.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, a couple alma maters, as always, because the access we get there. I mean, Nebraska doing the whole new nil world not doing the spring game. There's going to be a lot of theatrics going on for their. For their day. Spring day. I don't even know what we call it anymore. Oregon looking to get out, do a.

[Taylor Lewan]

Lot of cool stuff back to Oregon. We gotta get Marcus to come out with us.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, that would be awesome.

[Taylor Lewan]

We need to get Marcus to come out with us.

[Will Compton]

What do we. What are we hearing from Michigan there?

[Taylor Lewan]

I've told them kind of like my, like, perfect world, how that would look with the uniforms and everything. And he. They weren't like, against it. Like, hey, we got to talk to a couple people. But, like, we're down to get you guys involved. I don't think it'll be like in the spring game because I think they're kind of going. They might be going the route everybody else is going. I don't know what their plans are. I don't think they know what their plans are yet.

[Will Compton]

But the route of canceling the spring game.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. I just don't know. It seems like the new world, everyone's kind of doing that. They. I didn't really like Test the water game. Who started it? Asu. BYU rule in Nebraska. Really?

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Pioneers in the space, man.

[Taylor Lewan]

I thought BYU did, man.

[Will Compton]

Canceling games left and right.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[J.P.]

Any comments on y'all canceling?

[Will Compton]

I've said my comments.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. That is nuts.

[J.P.]

Mean, it's been h. We signed this contract in 2006.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hey, J.P. did we not 2006?

[Will Compton]

The landscape of college football was a lot different, my friend.

[J.P.]

I mean, do you have any words? Yeah, just for like, just as. As an alumni, as a guy who played on the team, are you. Does it not seem a little cowardice? Does not seem a little like, hey, we're not actually where we want to be currently in 2025.

[Will Compton]

I don't think it means that at all. I think there's financial. There's a financial strategy to it. I think even strategy wise, the committee shows that they don't value strength of schedule. So even beating you guys, there's no upside. There's no upside. Even you guys. If you guys were to beat us, there's no upside in you guys beating Nebraska. It's only downside. You might as well cancel the game. Throw Bowling Green in Miami of Ohio on the schedule. They can get their ass whipped. That can be at home financially. We're made whole. And you have more money to pay these players that are commanding higher salaries going into college football.

[Taylor Lewan]

Two trades of thought here too.

[Will Compton]

But as a fan. But as a fan, I am bummed that this game is not happening because I feel like the historic programs of a Nebraska to Tennessee, seeing that red, seeing that orange out there playing against each other two years in a row, especially us being located in Nashville, knowing our ties to both schools, I was so excited for those games. But seeing it get canceled, like, look, it's business. It's business. Whooping your ass does nothing for Nebraska.

[J.P.]

Y'all are going seven and six this year. Let's calm down. Down.

[Will Compton]

Bet money on that.

[J.P.]

All right.

[Will Compton]

You're saying I'll say we win more than seven games. You're saying seven or less.

[J.P.]

I say Tennessee will win more games in.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, no, no.

[Will Compton]

Don't change his bet now. You said we're going seven and six.

[J.P.]

Sure.

[Will Compton]

500, mustache man.

[Ari Shaffir]

That'S fine.

[Taylor Lewan]

Do you think.

[Will Compton]

Come on, man, that's.

[Taylor Lewan]

I mean, we know what history. I hate doing it.

[Will Compton]

Dude, we do know history rules third year, double digit win rules. Third year in every program, double digit wins.

[Taylor Lewan]

But he didn't. He didn't have the turnaround. The second year he won more than one game.

[Will Compton]

Guess what? About the first year.

[Taylor Lewan]

Five and seven last year. Six. Six this year.

[Will Compton]

He would have went one.

[Taylor Lewan]

One or two games this first year.

[Will Compton]

He'd be right where he needs to be in the 7 and 6 if.

[Taylor Lewan]

He won one or two more games. You're right.

[Will Compton]

We're winning 10 this year.

[Taylor Lewan]

I hope you do, but you got to play Michigan.

[Will Compton]

You said that's a tough bet for me.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yes.

[Will Compton]

You don't think we're gonna win more than seven?

[Taylor Lewan]

Dogs. Can we have a yes or no? Can we have a logical conversation? Can we just sit here?

[Will Compton]

Do you believe that we're going to win more than seven games this year?

[Taylor Lewan]

Do you remember?

[Will Compton]

Yes or no?

[Taylor Lewan]

I am going. Okay, let me just say maybe because I can see both sides. I can see. I know the rule. Jump that. Can I this year. Can I go through my fucking thought process?

[Will Compton]

I'm asking the questions.

[Taylor Lewan]

I know, and I'll give you an answer. A long winded answer. Let me do the weave on you. Like old 47 rule does show that he makes a jump in the third. However, you guys have only. You guys went five and seven and then what did JP And I say? Six and six. You are getting pissed out. You have the same tone you have right now. Come on.

[Will Compton]

We won seven.

[Taylor Lewan]

We went seven and five this year and we beat Alabama. I don't. I don't. It's a bowl game. Let's get.

[Will Compton]

Let's get to the part where we talk about this.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's a bowl game.

[Will Compton]

Let's get to the part where we talk about this year.

[Taylor Lewan]

History, stats, everything. Shows you guys, you have seven and five this year. A strong seven and five.

[Will Compton]

Okay? So let's have a bet. Do you think.

[Taylor Lewan]

You bet with Jack? I don't want. You and I will have our bet. And our bet will come September 20th.

[Will Compton]

I want to know if you think we'll win more than eight or more games this year.

[Taylor Lewan]

Eight or more?

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Like you were personally. You're sitting in a room by yourself. Do you think we're going to win eight or more games this year? And don't think about Will Compton.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay?

[Will Compton]

That was about none of this.

[Taylor Lewan]

All right? If I'm not thinking about Will Compton.

[Will Compton]

You know who's back in Lincoln?

[J.P.]

Well, I was gonna say Mike Eckler goes back to Lincoln. Does he kind of whisper in some ears, hey, if we continue with this, we're gonna get our asses Will by Tennessee.

[Will Compton]

I tell you what, you don't want to know what he actually thinks about when he saw this roster this past. With his first week at work.

[J.P.]

I do.

[Will Compton]

You don't want to actually know.

[J.P.]

I do want to know. Can you tell us?

[Will Compton]

Listen, loose lip sync ships. I'm not going to talk about my private conversation.

[Taylor Lewan]

Also just letting you know you would.

[Will Compton]

Like to know what he thought. You would love to know what he thought.

[Taylor Lewan]

So.

[Will Compton]

Because it involves whooping your candy ass.

[J.P.]

Y'All are paying us 500 grand to pull out.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, because I think we make more money having the two home games also.

[Taylor Lewan]

Jack, Jack, it's not. It's not in your best interest to play.

[J.P.]

I would love to.

[Taylor Lewan]

You guys only have. You guys only have two teams. You guys only played the same team. Like one. One team. It was Ohio State University. They lost 21 to 14. Y'all lost by 40.

[J.P.]

Okay, that was an entirely different Ohio State team when they played that.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm saying. I'm saying.

[Will Compton]

Sorry, you're right. I forgot that we had a common opponent.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, you had a common opponent.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, you're right.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm saying. So I'm saying it's probably not in your best interest to play.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, I see what you're saying.

[J.P.]

Flip flop, ask conversation.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, oh. But to answer your question, I would probably go less than eight.

[Will Compton]

Okay, we'll find a bet.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, we found. We're going to find our bet on.

[Will Compton]

But it's going to be around that.

[Taylor Lewan]

We'll have our bet.

[Will Compton]

We found our bet. It's going to be around over. Seven and a half wins.

[Taylor Lewan]

Why don't we just bet on the bus and bowl?

[Will Compton]

We'll bet on the bus and bowl, too. We can have more than one bet.

[J.P.]

Taylor, why don't you go through and predict this schedule? Because we know what will do.

[Will Compton]

We're predicting schedules in March now, I guess, or in February.

[Taylor Lewan]

February. Yeah. Yeah. This is. Usually we do it way earlier. We do it right after the season. Cincinnati. Toss up. Okay, Toss up. That's the Kelsey Bowl. That's going to be an arrowhead. It's going to be. We'll say Cincinnati takes that one. Akron's a dumb. Houston. Houston Christian. Yeah, that's okay. That's a dub. So two and one Michigan. I mean, buddy, you're going. That's. That's two and two. Michigan State. I see a dub. Maryland. I see a dub. Minnesota. Scrappy boys. Scrappy boys. I say Minnesota taking that one. Northwestern is ass. I could see you guys winning that one. So where we at now?

[Will Compton]

5 and 3.

[Taylor Lewan]

5 and 3. USC.

[Will Compton]

No, at home.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay. UCLA. @ UCLA. Just going off of last Year. Yikes. Penn State. At Penn State. I don't know. And then Iowa. You should beat Iowa every year. But you don't. 5 and 7, wasn't it? Let's give him Cincinnati.

[Jack McPherson]

Minnesota.

[Taylor Lewan]

I don't know, dude. Because Minnesota's October. Mid October. They have an outdoor stadium, bro. The Gophers. You guys know how I feel about the Gophers. I'll give them revenge game. Revenge game at ucla. Seven and five. That's a tough. That's a tough schedule. That's a hard.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, we play nine conference games. In the hardest conference.

[Taylor Lewan]

In the hardest conference. Yeah. I mean that's. I can look at this. I can look at this and for sure C. 7 and 5.

[J.P.]

That's not it.

[Taylor Lewan]

I can definitely.

[Will Compton]

But I think his opinion is.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's a proud seven and five. Yeah. A proud seven like you. You were juiced up at the pinstripe.

[J.P.]

Realistically, what games are y'all losing on this schedule?

[Will Compton]

Realistically.

[Taylor Lewan]

Realistically.

[Will Compton]

Realistically. I'll say realistically.

[Taylor Lewan]

And I love Nebraska.

[Will Compton]

Maybe Penn State.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Will Compton]

Cuz we're at. Because we're at Penn State.

[Sherman]

That's 11 wins.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Look, I think we're getting double digit wins. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

You think you go in the playoffs this year?

[Will Compton]

If we're a 10 and 2 Big 10 team. Yes, we are in the playoffs this year.

[Taylor Lewan]

You gonna beat Michigan?

[Will Compton]

I think we can beat you guys. Absolutely. What'd you guys do last year? You guys didn't do last year.

[Taylor Lewan]

Only unranked team to consecutively be top 15 teams. That's something like. What'd you do this year? We beat Ohio State.

[Will Compton]

Didn't we have the same record?

[Taylor Lewan]

No, we went seven and five. You went six and six.

[Will Compton]

We went seven and six.

[Ari Shaffir]

Correct.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay, then if that. By that logic, we would. Then you go five.

[Will Compton]

Okay. One game above. Of course. I think we can beat you guys. And at home, bus and bowl. What's on the line?

[Taylor Lewan]

What happened last time?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, we got killed. It doesn't mean it's the same. It's not the same ball club.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're right. It's not the same ball. We might be better.

[Will Compton]

Let's pull up Michigan schedule.

[Taylor Lewan]

We might be better.

[Will Compton]

Pull up Michigan schedule.

[Taylor Lewan]

I mean, if this Bryce Underwood is who we think he is, we might win it all.

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't know.

[Taylor Lewan]

He's getting paid a lot. What if he just doesn't have the heart? No, he's got it, dude. He's got it. If you. If you knew what I knew in the conversations I had, he's all right. New Mexico. All right. You go ahead, Will.

[Will Compton]

W At Oklahoma.

[Taylor Lewan]

Lost a lot of players. They lost. Top three. Most players in the transfer portal.

[Will Compton]

I'll give you a W. Central Michigan. W. Nebraska. L. Okay, Wisconsin. Toss up. I'll give you A W at USC. L versus Washington. W. @ Michigan State, W. Purdue. W. Northwestern. Jesus. W. Maryland. W. Ohio State. Loss. So what is that?

[Taylor Lewan]

Hold on. You think we'll lose Ohio State?

[Will Compton]

I think they get you guys this year.

[Taylor Lewan]

We beat him. We had no pat. We had passing turned off.

[Will Compton]

I understand. You face him in the playoff, you're getting tossed around like everybody else did.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's nine wins according to Will Compton.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Look, I think you guys got a good football club.

[Ari Shaffir]

Will was real. Taylor was just kind of doing it a little bit out of spite.

[Will Compton]

We know how he operates.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, no, no, no. I don't spike there.

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't think Nebraska will lose to Minnesota, dog.

[Taylor Lewan]

Minnesota is the amount of time.

[Will Compton]

The amount of time you took on Northwestern, too.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Northwestern doesn't even have a stadium.

[Will Compton]

Cincinnati, toss up, dog. You said L, I think with Cincinnati. And then you came back around, said, I'll give you Cincinnati because you only gave us five wins.

[Sherman]

It is neutral site.

[Taylor Lewan]

Neutral site.

[Will Compton]

Neutral sites at Arrowhead. That's like a home game for Nebraska. We're two hours north.

[Sherman]

They are two hours north.

[Taylor Lewan]

Two hours north. I didn't know that. I'm geography.

[Sherman]

I will say I ended up.

[Taylor Lewan]

I ended up at 7 and 5.

[Sherman]

Yeah. Beating Oklahoma in Norman is no easy task.

[Taylor Lewan]

No doubt, no doubt.

[Will Compton]

I will say I agree. Yeah, I don't disagree with that.

[Sherman]

He is coaching for his life.

[Taylor Lewan]

I don't like the Ohio State. We beat him four times in a row.

[Will Compton]

I know.

[Taylor Lewan]

With. Nobody's going to.

[Will Compton]

Correct. It's not like you guys are just going to go undefeated forever. I mean, Ohio State's the national defending national champions. Like, they're reloading on their squad.

[Taylor Lewan]

I get it.

[Will Compton]

And they have continuity with their staff and everything else. Like they're just building.

[Taylor Lewan]

They lost everybody. What do you mean continuity on their staff? They lost their oc. They lost their DC they lost.

[Will Compton]

But they're hiring Internal.

[Taylor Lewan]

They hired one Internal. They hired Ryan Heartline, who I. Big fan of Hardline as the OC.

[Will Compton]

And then they bring in a beast for. Oh, yeah, they brought in Matt Patricia.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Jack McPherson]

They got Sharon Moore.

[Taylor Lewan]

We got more.

[Will Compton]

Look, I got you guys winning nine games.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm pretty sure Wink Martindale's still there. Still staying, too. Yeah, I think seven. I mean, I I don't think Stephen Five is disrespectful to you guys. I'm a. I'm a Corn Husker. Second.

[Will Compton]

You're not. You're not a Corn Husker.

[Taylor Lewan]

Come on, man. Come on, man. You know. You know I respect the Cornhoster, brother.

[Will Compton]

You're not.

[Taylor Lewan]

When I go there, do I not say how awesome it is? I love to.

[Will Compton]

You're in. You're in the Octagon.

[Taylor Lewan]

If I didn't like the place, I would say I don't like the place. I was in Holiday. I said I didn't like the place.

[Sherman]

He wore the corn cob on his head.

[Taylor Lewan]

I wore the corn cob in my head.

[Will Compton]

I know you did.

[Taylor Lewan]

I was supporting.

[Will Compton]

You do what needs to be done. You do what needs to be done.

[Taylor Lewan]

Here he goes again. Here he goes.

[Sherman]

He supports Nebraska.

[Will Compton]

He does what needs to be done. Yeah, maybe like 75.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's.

[Will Compton]

That's not disrespectful to you guys.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hey, Sherman, if I said, hey, I think your ball comes, gonna get better.

[Will Compton]

Next year, that's not getting better. Winning seven games again.

[Taylor Lewan]

You guys win your bowl game, then. Okay? Now you're eight and five. Like, what are we talking about? You guys, regular season.

[Will Compton]

Listen, I heard what you said. I heard what you said, man. You're not a Husker.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're right. I'm a Wolverine. However. All right, I love the Huskers.

[Will Compton]

You can love the Huskers, but you're. We all know. We all know what's happening. We all know what's happened. We all know what's happening. It's all good.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay?

[Will Compton]

I know where you stand.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, you do?

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Bert Kreischer. We got a promo his bullshit because he won the bench competition out at the super bowl in the Las Vegas show. Double down. March 21 and March 22 at Resorts World Theater in Las Vegas. Tickets on sale at. Burt. Burt. Burt Dot com. Oh, Two Bears five K. We got to promote this, too? I thought we were just promoting his tours.

[Taylor Lewan]

We had to do. I had to do this last week, too. I read it, but I wasn't happy about it. The deal was one ad read, right?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, like I thought it was. Just promote his tour all year long.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

That is. Get him on the phone. Two Bears 5K is on May 4th at Raymond James Stadium in Tampa. But if you can't make it to Florida, you can run, virtually finish the 5k by the end of May, and you'll receive the same metal T shirt and headband [e-mail]. Early bird pricing ends this week.

[Taylor Lewan]

Why have two websites you can follow?

[Will Compton]

Bert Kreischer.

[Taylor Lewan]

You see he's trying to do another bet with squatting.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. He was trying to take 400 and it's like dog. Yeah, you can get 400.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. We gotta beat Bert something. Maybe you run the 5k this year.

[Will Compton]

I'll run the 5k.

[Taylor Lewan]

No answer. He's scared.

[Will Compton]

That'll be good.

[Jack McPherson]

Like if I beat you in the 5K.

[Taylor Lewan]

No more ads.

[Will Compton]

Oh, try to. Just try to intercept it all. Hey, I know you won the bet that where we have to promo the entire year, but you do have an opportunity to kill it. I haven't ran in a while, but I would do a 5k.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think you could smack that.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'll run it with you.

[Will Compton]

I mean, I think I could be Burt. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Bert's a bit of a runner though.

[Taylor Lewan]

He did it twice last year, right? Yeah, he walked one, ran one. Got you. Got you. Walked one round.

[Ari Shaffir]

Well, he did it with. Then he like go back and run it with jelly.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Walked one, ran one, walked one, ran one.

[Will Compton]

What else do we have before we get into Ari Shafir? By the way, the Ari Shafir episode.

[Taylor Lewan]

Unreal, that's about as.

[Will Compton]

As podcast as you can get. We. I mean the just good old fashioned podcasting. Good old fashioned podcasting. I mean, this dude, the. The amount of just doesn't give a. Jokes he talks about is all time he was known for. I know back in. In my era of being a young. A young thundercat in middle school, he was the one who did The. The. The YouTube episodes called the Amazing Racist.

[Taylor Lewan]

So funny.

[Will Compton]

And that's him. I thought he was dead. I remember I was telling him on the episode a few months back, I was kind of looking up whatever happened to this. This guy, because in the world that we're in now, I'm like this. None of these videos would fly. And I had to figure out like, where he was and what he was doing. Then I learned that he's one of the. The mainstays on the the park episodes.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Protect our Parks for Joe Rogan. He's like, oh, he seems like he's thriving.

[Taylor Lewan]

It was so great. I mean, the first 25, 30 minutes just talking about drugs.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Awesome.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

And then the Amazing Racist. To sit there and watch this re. Watch those videos with him and to be like, you did anybody ever look at you and say, hey, probably don't do this? Yeah, it was awesome, man. It was great. Let's talk about Kevin's Natural Foods though, just real quick. You know that you feel your best when you eat well, but life is hectic and it's hard to find a healthy option that's quick and easy. That's where Kevin's Natural Foods comes in. Kevin's is honestly getting the barstool team through this crazy bit of off season. Made with clean quality ingredients, Kevin's heat and serve entrees and new stir fry kits are packed with protein and ready to eat in just minutes. No prep, no mess. My favorite personally, cilantro lime chicken. Huge fan of the cilantro lime chicken, paleo, gluten free, the whole thing. I love that they are made clean, simple ingredients and the whole barstool team loves them. Kick off 2025 with Kevin's and make it your healthiest and tastiest year yet. Find Kevin's Natural foods in the refrigerated section at your local grocery store now. Great pivot. I came in this morning, JP decided to scare the out of me with a. With a taser in his hand. I don't know if my boys get into self defense classes or what it is. And all of a sudden they start talking about. The sales guy comes knocking on the door Friday afternoon saying, hey, we're selling tasers. Will was against it and apparently we bought him out. Is that what I'm. Am I following the bouncing ball correctly?

[Will Compton]

Yeah. My shout out. No free shout out of the week goes to hustling salesman.

[Ari Shaffir]

He hustled us.

[Will Compton]

Yes. Yeah, that's why I shout out. No free shout out. No. You don't ever hustle somebody who just walks in your door of operation not know. Yeah. Barges in, nobody knew who he was. He's just walking in. I'm kind of sitting there because the lights behind him.

[Taylor Lewan]

So he didn't even knock?

[Will Compton]

No, he didn't knock.

[Jack McPherson]

What's up, boys? What we got going on in here?

[Will Compton]

What we got going on in here? I'm thinking, what the going on here? And he's like, yeah, yeah, Mr. Milchick man, we should talk about severance, but stay on track. He comes in, he's like, I got these, I got these tasers. We're going door to door and selling some company. We're offloading and we're selling them for dirt cheap because they're, they're canceling. They're. They're getting rid of all their inventory. So he's like, usually they go for about 130 bucks a pop. But I can give me you guys for 24.99. And Jared comes up to me. I'm like, don't worry. We're not gonna buy anything. But he starts talking about. He starts showing them to us. He starts, go ahead and do that noise again.

[Jack McPherson]

That's all it took.

[Will Compton]

He starts showing. Yeah, it's all took.

[Taylor Lewan]

Just that crazy ass showing us this.

[Will Compton]

Utility flashlight where it can strobe. It can be bright, it can be dim. You charge them up. They're high powered. And then he turns on the Taser. And when he ripped the Taser, I thought to myself, oh, I could use a couple of these. Charles could have one in her car. We can have one at home. You just never know. The wife. Yeah, the wife would.

[Taylor Lewan]

Whoa.

[Will Compton]

Okay.

[Taylor Lewan]

I would not. I would not. I'm not gonna.

[Will Compton]

The. And I'm thinking the wife would thrive with one of these. These would be good. So I was like, do you take cash? And he said, absolutely. So I ran out to my truck, my Chevy ZR2 Silverado. I grabbed 100. And I was like, can I get four of these? He's like, yeah, it would run you about 109. I could give it to you and eat that $9. But I'm like, hey, don't even worry about it, man. We'll get you nine more bucks. Mitch comes out of nowhere with ten extra dollars. The entire. The entire shop bought a Taser that day. Yeah. Yeah. And. And after he left, we all got on our Tasers. We all held him up and just started ripping it in solidarity.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, it was so loud, crazy.

[Will Compton]

And. But, yeah, he came in. We're like, oh, don't worry. We're not gonna buy anything from this guy. And he hustled the hell out of us. Then after he left Sherman's on his computer, he's like, guys, I see. I see these exact same Tasers on Amazon for $10.

[Taylor Lewan]

No way. Yeah, that's gonna love that.

[Will Compton]

That's right. I tip the cap.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hey, we knew salesman dude.

[Will Compton]

We knew he's hustling human being. But the thought of 130 a pop is crazy. And his boy comes in a second guy comes in the door mid pitch. A second buddy comes in the door with a box himself. So you just know he's sitting back like, damn, he got a good sale. Nine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Sherman]

We started breaking it all down because it was like, Yeah. I mean, it was just today, like, we realized, oh, man, we have way too many of these things. We gotta get rid of them. Let's just go hand them out. And then all of a sudden, we're paying for it. And he's wearing a lanyard that has the pricing with the tax built into it so he can give you the proper change. I'm like, man, those lanyards are pretty fancy for getting printed earlier today. And it's like.

[Will Compton]

He's like, oh, this would be good. The U.S. post Office, you know, what do you say? Best pro shops Bought a whole bot or bought a whole lot? So he's selling you on it, and we're buying, and you guys went and.

[Taylor Lewan]

Looked it up later, and it was on Amazon for $10.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Sherman]

18.

[Taylor Lewan]

But it's still turning around.

[Sherman]

It's less than 25.

[Taylor Lewan]

Less than 25?

[Sherman]

Yeah, it's less than 25.

[Taylor Lewan]

God. Good for him, man. Good for him. That is awesome.

[Sherman]

Oh, it was 18 for a three pack.

[Ari Shaffir]

It was like one singular taser was like, four or five bucks.

[Sherman]

Oh, 18 for a three pack. I forgot.

[Taylor Lewan]

I saw the charging port, too. It's easy to charge. We got.

[Will Compton]

What's 18 divided by three, Mitch?

[Ari Shaffir]

Well, I know it's six, but I was just.

[Will Compton]

I was just asking. I wasn't.

[Ari Shaffir]

I saw. I saw one.

[Will Compton]

Three or four bucks. I just, you know, I wanted to check the mat.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm a math guy, so if you want to run math, we can go toes.

[Will Compton]

Oh, I just. That's why I asked the question.

[Taylor Lewan]

But I see you, Mitch, tell them.

[Ari Shaffir]

But I'm saying.

[Will Compton]

I'll run math on you.

[Jack McPherson]

Nine times eight.

[Taylor Lewan]

Slow, slow.

[Will Compton]

72.

[Sherman]

He got it.

[Ari Shaffir]

I was gonna get. I was giving you an opportunity to answer.

[Will Compton]

Oh, I was giving you an opportunity to answer. That's why I was looking back there.

[Taylor Lewan]

All right, let's just wait real quick. We'll do three. J.P. you say. Say him out loud. Whenever you're ready.

[Jack McPherson]

11 times 6.

[Will Compton]

66.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, Ty. Ty, No, I think I got him on that.

[Jack McPherson]

13.

[Ari Shaffir]

7. 91.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Damn, Mitch.

[Ari Shaffir]

Come on.

[Will Compton]

Hey, that's tough when you get the double digits. That's a little dicey. How many. How many paper? I was carrying the two over there.

[Jack McPherson]

Top one.

[Will Compton]

Are you good?

[Jack McPherson]

Like, tough, tough.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, like, once it gets double. Like, double digits. Two double digits. It gets a little. It'll take a little bit longer, but I. I'll run it.

[Will Compton]

All right, I'll try this one, actually.

[Taylor Lewan]

Could be easy.

[Jack McPherson]

50 times 14.

[Will Compton]

5.

[Taylor Lewan]

50.

[Ari Shaffir]

5,000. No, 52.

[Will Compton]

5,200.

[Jack McPherson]

I have no idea.

[Will Compton]

5,212.

[Ari Shaffir]

5 time.

[Will Compton]

50 times 520.

[Ari Shaffir]

How do you 600.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hey, you can't get the.

[Will Compton]

20 times 14. Yeah.

[Jack McPherson]

50 times 14.

[Ari Shaffir]

700.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Swept.

[Will Compton]

Damn. Good game.

[Jack McPherson]

Now you got to get tased.

[Will Compton]

Good game.

[Sherman]

Is that the new betting punishment now?

[Taylor Lewan]

It sounds like it. We could do that.

[Will Compton]

What?

[Taylor Lewan]

Michigan and Nebraska. Whoever has better record this year, the other person gets to tase the other.

[Will Compton]

No, I'm not doing that.

[Taylor Lewan]

A real gun. You don't want to do that.

[Will Compton]

Whoever loses has to get shot in the leg.

[Taylor Lewan]

We'll play Oklahoma at Oklahoma.

[Will Compton]

I got you, man. I'm not even worried about you all.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay? So if you're not worried, I'm just.

[Will Compton]

Saying I'm not going to risk getting tased.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay, Fair enough. Fair enough. September 20th is going to be a tough day for busing. It's going to be a bloodbath.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. I hope you guys go down. I hope you guys struggle all year long.

[Taylor Lewan]

We're back to this. We're back to this.

[Will Compton]

At least you know where I stand. Transparency.

[Taylor Lewan]

I guess so. Yeah. I have perfect information on that. I appreciate you.

[Will Compton]

Well, I hope you have my opinion.

[Taylor Lewan]

I hope you guys do better than you did last year by one game.

[Will Compton]

I hope you guys fail.

[Taylor Lewan]

Fireball, dude. Fireball is a perfect shot for game day. Whether you're buying those sneaky little shooters before going to the stadium or going big with a fireball K for your tailgate. Whether it's pregame shot at tailgate lot or a celebratory touchdown shot at the bar, no matter what, it's guaranteed to ignite your game day. Grab your buddy, buy around and ignite your game day with Fireball. You just want to go to Ari. You just want to jump over, get in this episode.

[Will Compton]

Let's just get into Ari. How long we've been going on the intro?

[Ari Shaffir]

106.

[Taylor Lewan]

106.

[Will Compton]

Jesus Christ. What a fun time with the boys. 106, 20. I don't know. 106, 20, 21, 40.

[Taylor Lewan]

2,000.

[Ari Shaffir]

120, 21, 40.

[Taylor Lewan]

Damn it. Damn.

[Will Compton]

Big hit.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

No, that is nice. You are nice with math.

[Taylor Lewan]

Let's get this episode. Ari Will wasn't lying. When it's a podcast of all pods, like it said there, it's the boys hanging out. It's a great time, great organic conversation. Enjoy this episode. Please subscribe Unsubscribe. Resubscribe all the comments. Big hugs, tiny kisses. Enjoy the show. But I went to so my favorite band of all time is Blink 182 the did you really rule?

[Ari Shaffir]

Dude, they're unbelievable. They're so unbelievable.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yes.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're so positive and dumb.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yes. So when they went on tour last year, you see the clips from, like, at Coachella and stuff, they'd say they're like, really bad jokes.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

But, like, it was, like, charming. Like. Oh, you know, like that. That pop punk genre. And I went. So we went to their concert, me and the boys, like, at the Bridgestone. And they came out. Take off your pants and jacket. First song was Anthem Part 2. And I sat there and I was my.

[Ari Shaffir]

I literally tears welted back for sure.

[Taylor Lewan]

Because I was just like. Yeah. It was like such a core part of my life that I just love their music so much. So, like, that was when I was like, maybe I should start going to some more concerts and living in Nashville.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's like such a. Yeah, everybody comes through here. Yeah. They were like. They played at Citi Field, and they're like, hey, this is where the Mets lose. We don't really care. We really don't care.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. It's so fun.

[Taylor Lewan]

But, dude, that. That genre of music is HF Festival.

[Ari Shaffir]

Was that this used to be the best alt radio station in the country in D.C. they went out of business. They went Latino. Oh, for real. Fest991.

[Taylor Lewan]

So were you into that genre of music? Is that your.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, like. Like early. Like Smashing Pumpkins and.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, Smashing Pumpkins, counting crows, some 41.

[Ari Shaffir]

Good Charlotte that already got away from me. That's. That's later.

[Will Compton]

Are you a big concert guy?

[Ari Shaffir]

I love it. Dude, you got to do drugs. Gotta. We were in Delaware and I was just like, gacked and my friends about to go do whatever, and I was like, I'm fine here. And then I just remember hearing some mom, like, I would never want to be that up. And I'm like, I know she's talking about me, but it's fine. It's a warm night. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

You. So you're. You're a dude.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's so much better, bro.

[Taylor Lewan]

You'll go to a concert, take some mushrooms and chill by yourself.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, sometimes. Or we went to Billy Strings, we took some mushrooms. Like, let's not get too up. Because it was like, outside chance we could have met him afterwards. And then, like, halfway through, we're like, oh, he would be proud of us if we were up, disappointed if we weren't.

[Will Compton]

Like, let's just get more.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Then wander into Fort Worth.

[Will Compton]

Dude, big festival guy.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I love it.

[Will Compton]

You've been out to Bonnaroo out here.

[Ari Shaffir]

Bonnaroo a couple times. Yeah. That Was fun as. And then I got a. A pound of mushrooms for the whole comedy festival part of Bonnaroo one year.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I was just hooking up everybody. It was so fun.

[Will Compton]

You were the guy. You probably felt like the main.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, there was, like 30 of us, too. And I was like, I'm gonna get enough for everybody.

[Taylor Lewan]

There's something.

[Ari Shaffir]

It was so fun. Everybody's up. People come up to me, like, Ari, I heard. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

There's something about being the drug guy. Well, it doesn't matter what drug it is, but you're at a party and you got like a. An eight ball on you or something like that, and everyone's like, hey, I heard you got a Cool.

[Ari Shaffir]

Let's hang out.

[Taylor Lewan]

If I get a bump real quick. Come with me, man. Come on. You're like, yeah, Some sort of foundation between the two of you because you decided to do a bump of the bathroom at some random house house party.

[Ari Shaffir]

You have to pretend to be good friends for the rest of the party.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So my boy right here, and then he comes back for the fifth day. I'm like, yo, throw me a 20, dude. Yeah, like, what are you doing, man? This is getting. This is getting out of hand, dude. Mushrooms are like a scary. Are a scary drug to me. I've only done, like, a handful of times.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

And it's really 50. 50. I've had really great experiences, and I've had some experiences that I'm like, get me the. Out of my.

[Will Compton]

You've done the trips, right?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I've done like a full 3.3.5. The grams or whatever it is. Yeah, that's like. That's like the boom, right?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You're pretty big. If you want empty stomach, you can do whatever.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

You've never taken them not, like, to that level more.

[Will Compton]

So, like, microdosing or, like, they test.

[Ari Shaffir]

Promotions in the NFL? No, they don't.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think. I think the. The rumor was it showed up as food poisoning, if you can even test for that. So that was always the thing that was like, people can do whatever.

[Ari Shaffir]

Nice.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Coke could show up. I can promise you that.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's the obvious one.

[Taylor Lewan]

Marijuana.

[Will Compton]

I would meet. I would meet teammates. This is Taylor's past life. This is, like, back in college. But I remember going out to Oakland, and I'm drawing a blank on who the Magnuson was. Magnuson. There was another one, and they're like. We were, like, smoking out in the truck. We called it the Black Drag. And they're like, hey, we trying to we were all staying in the hotel. They're like, hey, you trying to hit the Black Dragon? I'm like, oh, yeah, yo, let's go. And we're sitting out there. They're like, so is Taylor still pretty heavy in cocaine? And I was like, what? Like, I was like, no.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're like, I thought he had a small bladder.

[Will Compton]

Like, he doesn't do coke anymore. And they thought. I was just like. They thought I had another mouth growing on my head. I'm like, no, man, he's. He's family guy. He's pretty. He's pretty buttoned up. I've never seen him do drugs. Like, bro, he'd come out at parties with, like, the Michael Myers butcher knife with just a mountain on it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Be like, let's go.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, the slopes.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, it was. It snowed in July in Ann Arbor. All the time. It was always snowing.

[Ari Shaffir]

That was thong, too. All through the winter when you get inside. Yeah, it's already opened up.

[Taylor Lewan]

Got to keep. Got to keep it going. Got this deviated septum to. As a nice little parting gift from cocaine as well. Fun times, man. That's. Yeah, that's me in college.

[Ari Shaffir]

You played in Michigan?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I played in Michigan. I'm not on cocaine right there.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's one of the coolest.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, Michigan.

[Will Compton]

I don't know if I've ever asked this, because in Nebraska, like, back in the 90s, they're known for just the drugs, like, before games.

[Taylor Lewan]

Steroids.

[Will Compton]

Steroids, all that stuff. Did you ever do it before a game?

[Ari Shaffir]

Did you ever do it before a game?

[Taylor Lewan]

I did. I did coke. Like, just go psycho mode. No, no, I did. I did, like, on a Wednesday before. Like, I think one big game. I can't remember what game it was, but it was like, a Wednesday. Like, my boys just got into town. They came to visit me, and, like, they, like. I had some waiting for them, and so I did a little bit on, like, a Wednesday. We played on Saturday.

[Will Compton]

Okay. So then it's like, you're not.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's not. You're not on it.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. You're not.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, no, no. There was always, like, the talk of, like, doing the water bottle thing where you put it in the. You put coke like Lawrence Taylor did, or they. He allegedly did. He would take cocaine, he put it in water, and it would dissolve in there, and he'd, like, drink it.

[Will Compton]

You can drink it.

[Taylor Lewan]

I guess you can. I think with coke, you can kind of do whatever you want.

[Ari Shaffir]

You're a free American.

[Taylor Lewan]

As long as it gets inside.

[Ari Shaffir]

You like, whatever it is, it took Viagra. What? Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's crazy. Crazy time, man. Crazy. I don't.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wait, do they. So how often do they test randomly or do they.

[Will Compton]

It depends if you get in the program, like, ultimately, like, for. Like, for weed, there's like, a line now the threshold's much higher. But every year, you ultimately test during, like, ota. So, like, like a. Or April, May, June.

[Taylor Lewan]

So are you familiar with NFL and, like, how the structure, everything. Do you know what OTAS is?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay. All right.

[Will Compton]

He's a. He's a ball guy. He's a. He's actually a sports guy.

[Taylor Lewan]

My fault. All right.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. So, like, in the springtime, my team is in the springtime, but the union will send out an email like, hey, you're going to get tested here. And probably a couple months, they ultimately let you know it's time to start weeding off. If you're smoking a lot of weed, Right. And then when you get to OTAs, you're, you know, if I'm in the linebacker group, you're going to know if you're going to get tested in OTAS or you're going to get tested the first week of training camp, which is in August. So if you're the. If you're part of the crew who gets tested in OTAs, everybody's fired up because, like, oh, we're about to test, and you only test out of the way, and then it's out of the way.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

But if it's training camp, you're like, you're bummed because you're like, all right, gotta stay. Gotta stay sharp until. Gotta stay sharp until August, right?

[Taylor Lewan]

Well, you can. Yeah, I guess, like, right after OTAs, like that middle of June, maybe that weekend, you can take and kind of smoke a little bit.

[Will Compton]

Remember, Remember during COVID when I started to just try to test, Like, I started to test, like, when I would get over the threshold, I got all these pisscats.

[Taylor Lewan]

We went to CVS and, like, bought, like, a kit, basically, that would tell him, like, where his levels were at and how they were.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

And he started to kind of scientifically figure out, okay, if I sign, how.

[Ari Shaffir]

Long do you have to wait off?

[Taylor Lewan]

This is how long I need.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Because we'd stay up and play Risk, like, every night, and we'd get banged up. And I'm like, I kind of want to figure out. Because I was just a free agent at the time, I was like, I kind of want to figure out, like, once I start to piss positive and Then if I just stop. If I just stop taking edibles, whatever it is, how long it'll take for me for it to get out of my system? It would take probably 48 hours. And then I would piss clean. Yeah. Yeah. Just drinking a lot.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. That's crazy because it always. It was always like a body. I heard it was like a body fat thing. Like, the lower body fat is, the faster marijuana gets out of your system.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah. But it take 48 hours.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

And then I'll try to go, you know, more days in a row and see how long it take. Obviously take longer, but would it matter.

[Ari Shaffir]

If you smoke like, like 17 days in a row and then quit for two days or like just one day?

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm sure.

[Will Compton]

I think so. I think so. Because again, after I would get the 48 hours, then I would do it for like a week straight and then see how long.

[Ari Shaffir]

Was this more science than you did in college?

[Will Compton]

Absolutely. Like, I mean, it was coven, your quarantine. You're just trapped in thinking of what all the different things you're like, moving frame, picture frames. Hey, sweetheart, do you think this should go here now? And then you get in a weird argument over like, hey, I want this down here now versus upstairs. But yeah, I. I got like a hundred piss cups and just, you know, got, you know, put my head down.

[Taylor Lewan]

Put my head down and got to work is what I did.

[Ari Shaffir]

Science fair experiment. People.

[Taylor Lewan]

People love to hate on Covid, man. But, like, that time of our lives was actually so much fun. Like, this show is very new.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

I was out in California training.

[Will Compton]

People like to hate on co, but we had some.

[Ari Shaffir]

Dude, everything was fun.

[Taylor Lewan]

A lot of went down. Like, you know, I know people like, like, let's move that out of the way. Like, let's talk about, like, the good times. But, dude, we would. We would get high every night, like he said, and, like play Risk, you know, the board game Risk, but just on our Xbox Live. And it'd be us and three of our boys. And it would be the most fun dude.

[Ari Shaffir]

Talking, drinking.

[Taylor Lewan]

We would be politicking back and forth. I'm trying to take Australia. Inevitably, Will and I would always end up hating each other, hating each other at the end. You reboot around 2pm the next day and get after it again, man.

[Will Compton]

It drop some Bible verse meme the next day on how you might get back to win the next night. Yeah, group chats were alive, dude.

[Taylor Lewan]

It really was. That was the best way to communicate that.

[Ari Shaffir]

It was so fun. Nobody's Falling behind.

[Will Compton]

No one's fall behind. Nobody's getting like, all right, the company, like, your team, they're. You're trying to do Zoom meetings. Like, you're trying to do it on Zoom. Everybody's trying to figure it out. It's new. The whole. Everything shut down. So, you know, nobody. Yeah, nobody's falling behind. Nobody's getting ahead.

[Taylor Lewan]

They should really do something. Like the Purge, but like a Covid, like, every decade, like, take the virus out of it, but just have, like, two months where everything's going to stay.

[Ari Shaffir]

Nothing happens.

[Taylor Lewan]

No one's allowed to leave their house. You kind of just no around. No one's allowed to get better for the next two months.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

And you just hang out.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, I can't do anything to get ahead.

[Taylor Lewan]

Neutral re Juice.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

No one's hard to work on anything.

[Ari Shaffir]

There were so many days where it was like, noon and your buddy's like, drinking. I'm like, yeah, all right, I'll meet you guys. What are we gonna do?

[Taylor Lewan]

All right, what are we gonna do? I mean, we might. Yeah, we might as well get it done. Yeah. This is it, dude.

[Ari Shaffir]

What is that? That's online Risk.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's us playing Risk. We did a stream last week with our boys that came back in.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, but it's us.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's us wearing a communist.

[Ari Shaffir]

You guys got into it. It's like some people, like, shouldn't have money and some people should.

[Taylor Lewan]

Let us. Yeah. In the bottom left corner, we had a beer counter here. So the guy in the back, the guy who looks all white Shrek, that's Dennis Kelly. He had. He drank 22 beers. What, in that three hour. Was it three hour setting?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yes.

[Ari Shaffir]

22 beers for a game or just. Cuz.

[Taylor Lewan]

Just.

[Ari Shaffir]

Cause there was no. Like, we kind of, like, made him.

[Will Compton]

We're like, hey, we're gonna put you on a beer counter. Because he's kind of like your. He's kind of like your old man who just sits in the corner and just houses like, 30 beers.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right.

[Will Compton]

Eventually falls asleep. But you never know if he's drunk.

[Taylor Lewan]

You always end up some sort of, like, political conversation with him. And even if he agrees with you, there's a devil ass. Devil. Devil's advocate. Yeah, he's a great dude, man. Great dude. But yeah, at the end of those 22 beers, it was like, 22 beers, three hours. Yeah, man. Good dude. Good guy.

[Will Compton]

I love how we've just been telling Ari about all of our.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like, athletes as the cleanest humans in the world.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Yeah, a lot of them are. A lot of them are. We were some bad eggs. Not so much, Will. We were, though. We were talking about drugs a little bit. What a fun way to start a podcast.

[Ari Shaffir]

What was your.

[Taylor Lewan]

What's your like, number one? If you could only do one the rest of your life.

[Ari Shaffir]

We probably weed.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's the easiest.

[Taylor Lewan]

But is that considered a drug anymore?

[Ari Shaffir]

Is it even considered a drug now that black people could do it? Not get arrested?

[Taylor Lewan]

Right.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's a different game.

[Taylor Lewan]

Well, it still hasn't been rescheduled yet.

[Ari Shaffir]

Still.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's still a Schedule 1.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're legalizing in every. Pretty much everywhere.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

24.

[Ari Shaffir]

Not here.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, no. Bible belt, bro. That's the last. That's the last domino to fall.

[Will Compton]

There's ways that. There's ways that it's, like, gotten around it. What is it called? Like, Delta 9.

[Taylor Lewan]

Delta 9. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

It doesn't seem right.

[Will Compton]

Thca doesn't seem right.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're like, when you light it up, it's the same thing. And I'm like, nah, they give me the same thing then.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, give me the same thing. Exactly. It is a weird deal. So besides. Besides weed.

[Ari Shaffir]

Let's wait. Okay. Booze. That's not a drug either. Those are the two, like, standards. You can do that in the street. Molly. I love Molly.

[Taylor Lewan]

Really?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just took some. I cracked my tooth. Fucking grinding my teeth on Molly last.

[Taylor Lewan]

Really?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I was so clean is before the pandemic Molly. I found back of the freezer, way back in the freezer, said Mandy. I was going through a British phase, and I was like, wait, no fucking way. And it was like, pre pandemic molly. Pre fentanyl Molly.

[Will Compton]

You can tell he loves it, too. Just had the. How he had the smile. Like he's thinking of all of his memory.

[Taylor Lewan]

Side note, too, the pre fentanyl Molly, like, it's good. It's good to know that Molly's clean. Because if it's pre pandemic, that is pre pandemic.

[Ari Shaffir]

When times are simpler.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

You can only if you just kept going till, like, noon the next day.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm happy that world's past me now, but if I was still in it, I would probably be.

[Ari Shaffir]

It was so fun. Mushrooms. Love mushrooms.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then what are the other drugs? I've never been a giant coke. Ey. But if you're going to the bathroom, I'm coming with you.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not going to buy it, but if someone's got it, you're not going to be rude. You'll have have a T now.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

What have you ever had an experience with? This is one thing I've kind of wanted to try was dmt.

[Ari Shaffir]

I tried once and it didn't get there.

[Taylor Lewan]

It wasn't for you?

[Ari Shaffir]

No. I loved it. I just didn't get there.

[Will Compton]

What's get there?

[Taylor Lewan]

What does that mean?

[Ari Shaffir]

I was in my backyard in New York, me and a chick and like, I like sm. I saw this, like this big caterpillar come down off one of the branches and like stare at me for like a minute. And then he just goes, no. And then he turned around and went back.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, caterpillar wasn't feeling you.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And then I was like. And then I kind of came out of it and I was like, I don't think it hit me. And she goes, I died. And came back.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hey. To peel back a couple layers. What do you think that caterpillar was saying? No.

[Ari Shaffir]

About getting in there. Getting there.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, getting you too?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I think he was like the gatekeeper or something. No, he was like, no.

[Taylor Lewan]

You would think a gatekeeper of something that special would be a little stronger than a caterpillar.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

The final boss.

[Ari Shaffir]

But I was like, I didn't know how to get past him.

[Taylor Lewan]

You had worked.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm still mad about it. What about me? Would he not say yes? I'm the kind of guy who would go in there.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like that's. I've just realized how. How insulting that was.

[Taylor Lewan]

You wanted it too bad is what the problem.

[Ari Shaffir]

Maybe I wanted it too bad.

[Taylor Lewan]

You were too open to the experience. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

You're gonna ruin the whole vibe in there.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Warm on the dance floor.

[Will Compton]

Dude, I saw this.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, man. Who was he with?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I saw a clip of you talking about an ex. An extreme experience on salvia.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Was this around, like. I don't know when this was. I. I had an experience with salvia as well. But I want. I want you to elaborate a little.

[Will Compton]

Break down. Salvia.

[Taylor Lewan]

So salvia. Salvia. K2. It was like right around like two.

[Ari Shaffir]

Is that the same thing?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. 2009, 10 K2 spice. It was all like spices. And I. I'm sure in the comments that would. Would be like till you're so wrong. But like when the drug testing thing was so big, a lot of people were using these spices as a way to kind of do it instead of marijuana, but they were like kind of kill you. It was like a hallucination. Yeah. There was like some. I Think people, like, one had a heart attack or something, but, like, Salvia had like 2x4x10x20, 30x40x.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

To 80x. And the. The highest I ever went was 20x. And it was an insane experience to say the least. But you. You. I didn't have anything to what I heard you talk about.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's up there. That's it.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Tripoli, dude. I was gone. I had so much. And then they were like, call me a long too is crazy. And they were like, it's not enough. You're a. You're a. But I got, like, to the line with that.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then, like, take a real hit. So then I took a massive hit when I was already at the line, and then I was just done. God, I was just gone. I was living underwater for, like. For, like, six months.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, but explain it. You actually were.

[Ari Shaffir]

I lived underwater. I had, like, a job. I went to. I, like, relocated to underwater.

[Taylor Lewan]

And do you. Do you.

[Ari Shaffir]

Fucking ruled. I had forgotten about this land for, like, completely forgot about it. Oh, what a trip it was. But it was like eight minutes. The whole thing's in here.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. That's the thing is. So look at him.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then they think I'm back because I open my eyes, but I'm still gone. Just like, I just opened my eyes.

[Taylor Lewan]

The amount of balls it takes to be on a podcast and take a bong hit of however ex salvia it is.

[Ari Shaffir]

My Lawler Mania shirt.

[Taylor Lewan]

Same.

[Ari Shaffir]

Man. This is a long time ago.

[Taylor Lewan]

What year was this?

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't know. When was Jerry Lawler and Tom Lawler, who's the UFC fighter? Robbie. Robbie Lawler. Yeah, it was right around. He was fighting early, so. Yeah. 28. 2009. 2007.

[Taylor Lewan]

2007. Never heard anybody call it that.

[Ari Shaffir]

I missed that the first time.

[Taylor Lewan]

I just said it two more times.

[Ari Shaffir]

To make it seem like it was.

[Will Compton]

Like more doing the math in my head.

[Taylor Lewan]

Do you remember?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, that was me coming up to the surface to, like, look at who these people were. Like, what the are these guys? And kind of, like, barely remembered them, but I was like, underneath the water.

[Taylor Lewan]

Do you remember the experience vividly to this day?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. It's taking me back, especially seeing it. Yeah, you just. I was just there. I think I had a chick.

[Taylor Lewan]

No.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

A mermaid, man.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's. That's. That's basic.

[Taylor Lewan]

My fault.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's regressive, dude.

[Taylor Lewan]

I did. I hate.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's aggressive, bro.

[Taylor Lewan]

I hate to start the foundation.

[Ari Shaffir]

30S mermaid, bro. I mean. Oh.

[Taylor Lewan]

I grew up at a different Time. What can I say?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, you gotta be careful.

[Taylor Lewan]

But dude, the salvia, what'd you do? So I did 5x. I was in. Was it Newport, California.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Taylor Lewan]

And I was with. This is high school, my senior, high.

[Ari Shaffir]

School, spring break, it was a legal drug. You could just buy it.

[Taylor Lewan]

You go to a smoke shop.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

And they just had it sitting there on counter. Like you would buy like horny goat weed or whatever at a gas station. And we bought the 5X. And so we, me, my girlfriend at the time, and my best friend at the time, we are. They're all like one hitter, so they burn so fast. We took the 5x. And I remember like 20 minutes of the best laughing. Like all of us just in harmony that nothing was really said, but it was like the greatest happiness, like laughter you've ever had. Similar to like Nebraska when we're at Village and like you're just sticking. You're just having a giggle fest, right?

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

So like a day or two later we go to a smoke shop and there's the 20x. And you're thinking five times four is 20. That's four times the laughs. Like, this is going to be incredible. So my buddy, right? So my buddy, he takes it, he hits it. We're in this like really shitty hotel room. It's like spring break or whatever, we're balling on a budget. And he takes a hit and he just goes, oh, no. And lays down on the bed and he's like not responsive for 15 minutes to the point where me and my girlfriend are like, maybe we should go and get like, call the police or something. Comes up out of nowhere and is like, don't do it. Don't, don't do that. And I had this like thing like, no, my boy's gonna do it, then I'm gonna do it kind of vibe like very high school to me. So I remember, I took a hit.

[Ari Shaffir]

Of it, he came out and said, don't do that. And your first sentence, my boy did it.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm gonna do it too.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm not a. Yeah, I'm telling you, do be a. I'm not gonna make fun of you.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

So I take a hit of it and I put it down. And as I'm exhaling, I'm looking over and then I start looking around the room and it's like pictures are being taken throughout the entire room. And now I'm looking at everybody, but I can see 360 around me.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wait, wait. And they're all, wait, say that again.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay, so I take a hit of this salvia with a pipe.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

It. I go to put it down. As I'm putting it down, it's like photographs are being taken in my mind and being slotted in different part of my vision. So I can now see all around, like looking around the room like this. And my body's like. My brain is taking photographs of everything that's around me.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Taylor Lewan]

So now when I. You're just in VR, essentially. And so I get to looking at my girlfriend and my friend and. And they're like staring at me, like extremely concerned, especially my friend who just did it. And for whatever reason, my brain was telling me that something's growing out of your head. And I start to feel. And I have antlers, like deer antlers growing out of my head. And I freak out and I run out of the hotel room into the street and I feel like I'm sweating. So I'm starting to take my clothes off. Yeah. So I'm like. I'm like screaming in the middle of this parking lot. They take me and they grab me. I'm like the size I am right now in high school. They take me, they grab me and they put me in this. In. In this bathtub and turn the shower on. And for the next 15, 20 minutes I'm like trying to get out. They're like not letting me get out. And then finally I come to and it was.

[Will Compton]

Do you say horrible? Did you say.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah, you're right.

[Ari Shaffir]

You're right.

[Taylor Lewan]

We went and got pizza and it was like the quiet slice I've ever had in my life.

[Ari Shaffir]

And the whole thing, none of us spoke. The whole thing was like 20 minutes. 25 minutes.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. I think the whole thing, him doing it and me doing it, it was probably a 45 minute period.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow.

[Taylor Lewan]

It was crazy. Absolutely crazy.

[Ari Shaffir]

Did the picture stop coming?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, like once I had the photograph thing and then once I thought the. My antlers were coming out of my head, that's when the photos like kind of broke away and I was like, just seeing regular, but I could feel antlers on top of my head. That it was one of the more insane experiences of my entire life.

[Ari Shaffir]

Life that rules.

[Taylor Lewan]

Thanks, man.

[Will Compton]

He said that.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's a lot. That's also the last time I ever did salvia.

[Ari Shaffir]

Me too. Yeah, I was done. I felt so dirty afterwards. It's just like.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Worn out in 20 minutes.

[Taylor Lewan]

Exactly. Especially if you're living in a completely different life.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Girlfriend, you had responsibilities in your trip.

[Ari Shaffir]

I probably went bald in there. To be honest, that's probably what happened.

[Taylor Lewan]

Full thick head of hair at that time, man, you coming out, like, twice the life of stress at the. Yeah, that is.

[Will Compton]

Dude. All right. I gotta say, I'm so pumped to have you on this podcast because back in, like, the early 2000s, when you were doing the amazing racist stuff, like, yeah, those videos.

[Ari Shaffir]

How old were you in the early 2000s? 14. Ish.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like middle school. Yeah. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

You know, you. All. Your. All the middle school white boys are.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just such a dream.

[Will Compton]

So fat. Yeah. Just so fascinated by you doing all those videos. I actually, like. I know who you are. Like, going on, like, Rogan and seeing you on pods and other things, but I didn't know that you were that guy who did the Amazing Races. I remember last year, at some point, I ended up going on Google and being like, whatever happened to the Amazing Guy? Because I thought, like, where is this guy? Because the. The state of the world that we're in now.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I'm like, those videos that this guy was making, I'm like, whatever happened to this guy? And I'm typing in the Amazing Races. What's his name? And it's like, are you fear? And I'm like, oh, he's still alive. He's still kicking.

[Taylor Lewan]

So going. Going off. That I remember, they're like, so in high school, in the early 2000s, I remember there was, like, a rumor like, oh, did you hear about the Amazing Races? He actually got killed in action. Yes.

[Ari Shaffir]

I love that.

[Taylor Lewan]

Do you never heard that?

[Ari Shaffir]

No, but we never heard that more. Yeah. Yeah. That would have been the best way to go out.

[Taylor Lewan]

That is.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Free boat trips back to Africa. You really can't do this stuff now. And then you'd be watching it with whoever, and then sometimes, like, halfway through, someone would come in the room. But if it's somebody of any race, everyone's like, oh, Even the black people that they're watching, they're like, oh, this is gonna look bad.

[Taylor Lewan]

What made you. What, like, what was the thought process behind, like, creating. They had the most racist thing on the Internet.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, it was pre Internet. It was pre YouTube. Not pre Internet, but pre YouTube.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, pretty much like those. Those videos banged, like, once it hit YouTube.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, they put it right on YouTube at the beginning. If you're like, what the is this is the was. This is me getting Jews to apologize for the killing of Christ.

[Will Compton]

That's the. And that guy was losing his. On you.

[Ari Shaffir]

He was so mad. And ki is the word you're looking for.

[Will Compton]

Were you I mean, you had to have been uncomfortable in certain spots every single time. Like when you were taking gas station in the hood. And you're like, I'm just looking for. You know, I'm just looking for a spot to burn this.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like, I need a lighter. I gotta get a lighter. I forgot my light.

[Will Compton]

She's like, hey, yo, what the. And you're like, hey, do you mind help paying for some gas?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Going to the Chinese restaurants and be like, hey, what type of Chinese are.

[Ari Shaffir]

You selling dog door to door in the back of the Chinese restaurants? I had a little dog and I was like, come on, guys, it's cheap.

[Will Compton]

Were there ever any videos that didn't make it?

[Ari Shaffir]

Because there was one of me. I was like setting up a shot. I was crossing the train tracks, like, crossing to the bad part of town. And some guy in an Amtrak truck just like slams on his brakes on Latino guy and just grabs me and, like, shoves me up against a fence. It was like, no. And he hit me that everybody had to come out like, no, no, no, no.

[Taylor Lewan]

He's Jewish.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm wearing a clan outfit. They're like, it's a joke. He's like, it's not a joke. And I'm like, no, no, really, it's a joke.

[Will Compton]

God, no. This is not a joke.

[Taylor Lewan]

When you're. When you're brainstorming the idea to do this, was there not one person that sat there and go, hey, Ari, no. Are you sure?

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm a idiot, dude. Every time they wanted to do something, I was like, let's go further. Let's go way further.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, but there was nobody in the beginning that was like, so what you want to do is you want to get cross and ask black people if you're going to burn. If they have the lighter to burn this. And no one. No one sat there. Maybe not.

[Ari Shaffir]

Nobody helped me out. Not one person was like, hey, you sure? But you're using your real name in the setups of these. Should you just use a fake name, though? I didn't know it was pre Internet. You didn't know lived on. Yeah, it was going to be come and go. I didn't even know it was bad.

[Taylor Lewan]

God damn, that is so.

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't know what the line is. I forgot about these. Going to a mosque and selling T shirts to say, my. My was it. My mom went to Mecca and all they brought back was this horrible body odor. It was just like, let's see. As bad as this guy can be. Oh, my God, dude, that is Wild. So dumb, bro. If you're 14, if you're a freshman in high school and you see this, you're just like, what is the world?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, it is this the funniest thing ever to you? If you're 14 years old?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. The humor has not got any. Any, like, more mature.

[Will Compton]

Did any of these, like, did any of this stuff come back to haunt you, like, later, like, as you're making your runs of times?

[Ari Shaffir]

So many shows canceled, random, like, DJs in, like, different, like, areas will find it. Like, what the is this? We got to get this guy.

[Taylor Lewan]

No.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then suddenly, Mike, like, like, yeah, different places, they're just like, hey, they're saying, we got to move your show. I don't want to do it anymore.

[Taylor Lewan]

Why?

[Ari Shaffir]

Then you look at like 20 fucking years ago. Oh, it's great. I don't mind it though. It means it's still affecting people. It's pretty nice. It's kind of an honor in 2020.

[Taylor Lewan]

When all this, like, cancel canceling was going on. You had to be thinking like, oh.

[Ari Shaffir]

I knew it was coming any day. I'm surprised it really didn't get me during that.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, this is around the corner. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

And it's still. Every time they pull it off the Internet, somebody else puts it back up, It'll get like 10 million views. Then I'll be like, no, terrible. And then someone else will put it up.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

It just keeps getting views. You would think at any moment they'd be like a knock on the door. Like, feds will be like, no, you gotta leave the country.

[Will Compton]

It's just in like the underground hall of fame, dude. It'll keep getting put back on there.

[Taylor Lewan]

It really is, man. That is. It's top tier.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Were you doing stand up at that time?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, I was just starting. It was just starting. They were actually looking for Jeff Ross to do it. They was like, we wanted like a. And then they told me he couldn't do it. And they were like, like, do you know any other, like, jewy looking comics? And Duncan Trust was like, yeah, Ari, yeah. And then so they just, like, idea of do something like, real light. But I was like, no, let's go though. Let's. Like, the joke is only if it's like, way too far overboard. And they're like, what did you have in mind? And we just started brainstorming all day. It was a pretty fun brainstorming session.

[Will Compton]

Do you enjoy doing all the content stuff, like, as much more than doing, like, thinking of all the stand up comedy?

[Ari Shaffir]

No, I only like doing stand up. The rest is just like. Like, yeah, yeah. Fun. Like here or there.

[Will Compton]

Just like bullshitting around.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Hanging out with friends. God, yeah. Doing fun. Dumb.

[Taylor Lewan]

The content stuff is so elite though. Like to be able to put your full thought and have a visual with it as well.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah, you just.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're over that.

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't want to do it. I don't know. Editing. I don't know. Like that. Yeah, yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Fair enough.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'll be in stuff here or there. Oh, look at that. That's me. I took my shirt off at a PGA golf event. I was just walking around. There was looking. I was helping golfers find their ball. Like a legit golfer. Like a pro golfer. They were walking by. Not. And just like Pat tapped another. Look at this idiot. And then they told me, this is a TPC at Avenue. This is a high level course. The rangers had to come over like, sir, no, absolutely not. Put your shirt on.

[Taylor Lewan]

That is funny.

[Will Compton]

How did all the.

[Ari Shaffir]

What are you guys doing? Just researching my life.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. These notes on you right here.

[Will Compton]

Graduate from Maryland. Oh, happy early birthday. Your birthday's in a couple days.

[Ari Shaffir]

Thank you. Appreciate it.

[Will Compton]

February 12th.

[Ari Shaffir]

Nice, brother. Memorize that you're the 11th. Nice. Who's on your birthday? Anybody? Big Jennifer.

[Taylor Lewan]

Anson.

[Ari Shaffir]

Nice. Hot. Who do you guys got?

[Will Compton]

I don't think.

[Taylor Lewan]

What's.

[Will Compton]

I don't know.

[Ari Shaffir]

He's born on your birthday.

[Taylor Lewan]

Did he actually hear your birthday?

[Will Compton]

Oh, did he? That's tough.

[Ari Shaffir]

And you guys all left early. Everybody, did he party? Says, I went. Don't think I wasn't invited, but I left early. Why are all these people leaving early? A great party doesn't make early. That's crazy.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yes.

[Ari Shaffir]

You only leave Lane part. What do you think? Did he put on shitty parties for the first two hours? Drove out all the squares and then was like, now, let's go.

[Taylor Lewan]

This is the time. This is the time to get.

[Ari Shaffir]

You all have a key around your neck and a cyanide pill.

[Taylor Lewan]

Could you imagine just being a guy that's like coming into fame and like, you. You're in Hollywood, you make. Maybe make a movie. The movie comes out, everything's going really well. You get to call him, like, hey, P. Diddy wants you to come to his party. And you're like, oh, yeah, dude. Hurdy throws the best parties.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

And you walk into that and you're.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just like, oh, there's so much to wrap your head around. Like, why is this why everybody said there were good parties.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then like. But also Is there food?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

You know, there must be something you'd be into.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Otherwise, who would have recommended you?

[Taylor Lewan]

Jay Z, like, tells a story about, like, Diddy wanted to throw a party. Was it Diddy or is it somebody else wanted to throw a party and he's gonna spend, like a million dollars on it. And Jay Z's like, no, I can do the best party for, like 500 bucks and do a party for him. I don't want to really defame Jay Z.

[Ari Shaffir]

Sounds like a ratchet. Sounds like my kind of guy. Yeah, save that money, Jay.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, it was Jamie Foxx. It was Jamie Foxx that did that. But, yeah, I think about that sometimes, too, because, like, if I'm 19, 20, 21 years old, and I have no idea about what's going on with Diddy now, but I'm in LA and I have the opportunity to go to a Diddy party. Yeah, I'm probably gonna say yes to that, not knowing what I'm getting myself into.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay. When you walk through the door and you see what's happening, do you immediately go, wait, which side of this am I on?

[Will Compton]

Right, right, right.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, I'm young here. I'm 21. This might be trouble.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, yeah, that's a good point. I didn't think about that. I didn't think about that.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like, he's getting you.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Holy. Because I'm thinking to myself, I'll show.

[Ari Shaffir]

In a new era.

[Taylor Lewan]

Assuming, like, you're. There's like a. According. There's a courting time, and then they bring you into the room or whatever. They're probably feeling you out. It's probably not going out in the open. There's probably like a room or something, something like that going down.

[Ari Shaffir]

Are you cool?

[Taylor Lewan]

But it's like, once they, like, bring. They think you're cool enough without asking you, they bring you to the room. Like, how you getting out of there alive?

[Ari Shaffir]

How are you getting out of there?

[Will Compton]

There's no way taking you down, man.

[Taylor Lewan]

Taking you down or want you to. It's just like a.

[Will Compton]

Some of these videos of guys who let you, like, break down. Be like, yo, this dude caused damage to me, like, spiritually, mentally, emotionally.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's like, yeah, that's him there. That's Leonardo DiCaprio there. Yeah, that's why I can't. That's why he can't. Anyone above the age he is right now, it's actually, we owe him an apology. He's dealing with his horrible trauma. He actually shouldn't date anyone over 22. He's doing it right. 25 is old for him.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Is it? Is it? Wasn't it? What is that age? Was it 26? Leo doesn't go. Anybody over 26, 25, once they turn.

[Ari Shaffir]

26, that's when every woman is like, that's terrible. And every man's like, I know, right?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, we had that conversation.

[Will Compton]

It's crazy. Not very mature at all.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Every magazine.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's crazy to find them attractive. That's nuts.

[Taylor Lewan]

What?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Diddy. When would it start, though, if people left early, what that means he's not starting that stuff till 2. Yeah, I'm in. But, like, it's probably.

[Will Compton]

It's probably a lot like Vegas.

[Ari Shaffir]

I got meetings tomorrow.

[Will Compton]

The big parties don't start until it's like, two, three in the morning.

[Taylor Lewan]

No way. That stuff's going down at dusk.

[Will Compton]

You know, he's probably like, Vegas probably got oxygen pumping in.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Everyone's kind of staying away.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But you don't want to see the light coming in and still be doing that on either side of it.

[Will Compton]

Right, Right.

[Ari Shaffir]

This should be in the darkness.

[Will Compton]

Yes.

[Taylor Lewan]

Black lighting situation like that.

[Will Compton]

How do we end up here?

[Taylor Lewan]

I don't know.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

I don't know.

[Will Compton]

Jack's birthday.

[Sherman]

Josh Brolin has the same birthday as Art.

[Ari Shaffir]

Josh Brolin?

[Will Compton]

Who's Josh Brolin?

[Ari Shaffir]

Exactly. You, Josh Brolin. He's. He's the guy with the purple guy. What's his name?

[Taylor Lewan]

The purple guy?

[Ari Shaffir]

No, the. With the stones in his. Thanos.

[Will Compton]

Thanos. Okay, My fault.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I didn't say anything. I just said, who's Josh?

[Ari Shaffir]

I got Abraham Lincoln. Josh Brolin. Abraham Lincoln. He's way better.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not good. As you guys know when we do those guessing games, I'm not good with, like, understanding who all the actors and actresses are.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's great.

[Will Compton]

Like, I'm good with characters.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm not great with that. I'm not great with that.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's better if you don't know who they are.

[Taylor Lewan]

Is this like a list of all people born on July 22nd of note?

[Will Compton]

Sure.

[Ari Shaffir]

Is this. Is it of note or just anyone? That's a long list.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's a long list. Yeah.

[Sherman]

Of note in quotes.

[Taylor Lewan]

All right, good to know.

[Sherman]

I don't know most of these names.

[Taylor Lewan]

Who do you think.

[Ari Shaffir]

Who do you think you're Eskimo brothers with here?

[Will Compton]

Shawn Michaels. I see. Shawn Michaels.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's your Eskimo brothers with him.

[Will Compton]

No, no, no. When was he born? Wait, whose birthday?

[Taylor Lewan]

This is my birthday, July 22nd. I don't know. Shawn Michaels. I'm assuming he's a wrestler.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Okay.

[Taylor Lewan]

With that outfit, 1965. Yeah. I don't know any of these.

[Ari Shaffir]

Do you think it's at all possible that that's true though? Someone on one of your lists? You both. You both gotta be.

[Will Compton]

Possibly.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's gotta be, right?

[Will Compton]

Possibly. I mean, Shawn Michaels, the WWE guys are traveling 300 days a year in all these different towns and cities.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, I made the list.

[Ari Shaffir]

Really?

[Taylor Lewan]

Let's go.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's what you get with the new contract.

[Taylor Lewan]

Let's go. Man, who would have thought?

[Ari Shaffir]

Elliot. Oh, Zeke.

[Taylor Lewan]

Elliot. Okay, good for me. Love Zeke.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, he was great for a while.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Who are your teams?

[Ari Shaffir]

Unfortunately, my team recently disbanded. The owner said he couldn't do well as a GM and he thought the best thing for Cowboys Nation was to just get rid of the team. He was the most. He was never going to give up control, so he said we're just going to like break up. So my team is no longer around. The Dallas Cowboys. They're a former team in the NFL and we don't have to think about them anymore.

[Taylor Lewan]

Why are you a Cowboys fan?

[Ari Shaffir]

Why are you a Cowboys fan?

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm not.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, because you have no class.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, no class.

[Ari Shaffir]

America's team. Are you not an American?

[Taylor Lewan]

Are they really America's team Still.

[Will Compton]

I'll tell you what, in the 90s.

[Ari Shaffir]

Were a team of failure.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

We've been in Afghanistan for 20 years. No wins. That's America's team.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's exactly what happened. Yeah, they were good. When you started watching football and you.

[Ari Shaffir]

Thought, okay, no, no. I went through a 1 in 15 season as a fourth grader in Washington.

[Taylor Lewan]

Barely watched.

[Ari Shaffir]

I grew up in North Carolina. We didn't have teams. You pick America's team.

[Will Compton]

That is true. You guys didn't.

[Ari Shaffir]

You guys don't remember before the Panthers.

[Will Compton]

Growing up, my, My dad, he was a Cowboys fan. So I was just a Cowboys fan just to be in the 90s. So I was living all the glory days, but I was like a Cowboys fan all the way up there.

[Ari Shaffir]

And where'd you grow up?

[Will Compton]

Missouri.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay. Cowboys fan. Yeah. You get a lot of for it too, right? Yeah, well, Evil empire, once. Once I.

[Will Compton]

Once I went to Washington. It's kind of like.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, it's a garbage dump.

[Taylor Lewan]

If you're an NFL player, you want to play for the Cowboys. Because what I've heard is playing for the Cowboys is like what every kid envisions growing up playing in the NFL. That's what it's actually like. It's really like that.

[Will Compton]

That you're a star. I mean, you're in the start.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. All the new game consoles, anything that comes out, it's sitting on your locker. Like, apparently you get treated first class all the way.

[Will Compton]

Jason Hatcher said they would have off days and they had an amusement park right next door, so they would just. They'd be right.

[Taylor Lewan]

What are you gonna do? Go write a roller coaster? Go right around, Mess up your entire central nervous system right before practice the next day?

[Ari Shaffir]

Do you guys have to start rooting for the team you play for? Do you drop your childhood team?

[Taylor Lewan]

I think you do.

[Will Compton]

I think I've pretty much, like, I've like, Like, I always keep my eye on the Cowboys, but I played in Washington, Tennessee, and the Raiders. Like, I watch them, but I'm not, like, I'm not with them the way I am with Nebraska. Like, I went to Nebraska, he went to Michigan. So we're big time.

[Ari Shaffir]

Four NFL teams. So you don't pick. You can't. You don't have to pick one.

[Taylor Lewan]

He picks whichever one's doing the best.

[Will Compton]

I gotta pick whichever one's doing well. So this year it was like, Commanders. Yeah, we're doing pretty good.

[Ari Shaffir]

You play for the Redskins or the Commanders?

[Will Compton]

Redskins. Redskins.

[Taylor Lewan]

How tight is that?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

I went to a bar in Austin. They had Redskin stuff everywhere. And I'm like, nice, like, watching your football team, too. But yeah, yeah, there he is.

[Taylor Lewan]

Will he see? Got the C on his chest.

[Ari Shaffir]

Which of those four teams you played for have the worst fan base? There is one. Right answer.

[Will Compton]

The worst fan base.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I didn't play for the Cowboys. I just rooted for.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, no. Of the teams you played, you answered.

[Taylor Lewan]

The question first before he does. Which one are you saying is one right answer?

[Ari Shaffir]

It's obviously the Raiders.

[Will Compton]

No, bro, they're the best fan base.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, they're the worst. They're the stabbiest. They're the stabbiest across the country. Maybe you're talking about in Oakland, but across.

[Will Compton]

When you're playing in Oakland, like, you smell the weed in the air in the second half.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, that's nice.

[Will Compton]

And it's Halloween every weekend.

[Taylor Lewan]

If you're going to 1.

[Will Compton]

The worst fan base, probably Tennessee.

[Ari Shaffir]

Why?

[Will Compton]

Just because it's like. It's not like the biggest or the strongest fan base. Yeah, it's more of like a. A destination where people come in. Oh, there's a game going on. So there's not like the most like, loyal type fan base.

[Taylor Lewan]

Nashville's weird ball because the city's a lot of fun.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, you're.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're coming for Broadway, you're coming for the live music. And oh, by the way, this is happening. And it also doesn't help the team went 3 and 14 this year.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But that's how Vegas is going to be.

[Taylor Lewan]

Everyone's got. Everyone's got a very strong 5%. There's always 5% of every fan base. That is like rabid. They love it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Maybe that's what it is. Maybe the Raiders worst is the worst of any of them.

[Will Compton]

I think the Eagles, bro.

[Ari Shaffir]

Eagles are pretty shitty.

[Will Compton]

Eagles.

[Ari Shaffir]

But it's fights with. Nope. For no reason.

[Taylor Lewan]

The argument. The argument that will is saying that the Raiders are good are the same reasons why you guys are hating the Eagles.

[Will Compton]

Correct. But like that Raiders cross the line, they'll stab you. Eagles, they just fight you.

[Ari Shaffir]

They'll just fight you.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, you say fist. Okay. Yeah, I can get on board with the. Yeah. Between just assault and attempted murder.

[Ari Shaffir]

So you got to walk it.

[Taylor Lewan]

That sounds like a fair.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's fair.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's completely fair.

[Will Compton]

The silver and black, though, like those jerseys, those uniforms.

[Taylor Lewan]

The best uniforms ever.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. For real.

[Will Compton]

You have a. Do you root for Maryland? Like, are you. Are you a terp? Yeah, I know you're a turp, but do you like, root?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, but I grew up rooting for North Carolina. Then when I went to Maryland, it was like, we're in the same conference. It was like, what do I do here? I spent a year like going back and forth and then I'm like, no, I'm a terp.

[Will Compton]

Did you love going to Maryland?

[Ari Shaffir]

God, it was so fun.

[Taylor Lewan]

Really.

[Ari Shaffir]

We were a basketball team. We were not a football school. We go to the football to get drunk. We would never competed. Yeah, I think one bowl in four years there.

[Will Compton]

Why didn't you go to North Carolina?

[Ari Shaffir]

I'd already moved to Maryland by then. I couldn't get in. Then I was out of state and it was like it wasn't going to happen. I tried to. I painted my whole room Carolina blue and they were like, but you get Cs. Like what? I thought the paint would, like, get me over there. Yeah. State schools. Like, I got wait listed for Maryland and I'm from there. My grades were terrible.

[Taylor Lewan]

Carolina blue is a crazy color to paint your room.

[Ari Shaffir]

It really is. Luckily it was a good deck away from getting laid, so it didn't get in the way.

[Will Compton]

I saw your first stand up open Mic was in Northern Virginia. What part of Northern Virginia?

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't know. It was like outside D.C. yeah. Like greater Washington. It wasn't Arlington. I don't know. Just like a comedy sports night.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Once I'm like, I'm good. Let's go to California. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hell yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. God, yeah, you.

[Taylor Lewan]

There's so many terps.

[Ari Shaffir]

Games ruled. We'd all do this. A basketball. Just like we'd pick up the newspaper whenever the other team was introduced. We just go like this, like, disrespect and then we're done. We throw it in there. God damn.

[Will Compton]

We throw at the players.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I love that.

[Taylor Lewan]

If you could relive one point of your life again, would that be it? College?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. God. Like getting laid. Drinking. Drinking and then puking rally. And it wasn't looked down on. On back then.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Now it's like, did you just throw up? It's like, yeah, dude, I'm back. Why are you coming at me?

[Will Compton]

Hey, I think we're gonna have to leave. Ari. He's puking already.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, I puked. I'm fine. And that was totally acceptable back then. Yeah. Walking around learning, you know where we need to get.

[Will Compton]

Ari.

[Ari Shaffir]

What?

[Taylor Lewan]

Beer olympics. Beer Olympics 100.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Have you heard of Beer Olympics?

[Ari Shaffir]

I've heard of it. I do love competition.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay, well, if you want.

[Will Compton]

For this thing, if you want to.

[Taylor Lewan]

Go to a place where the greatest beer drinkers of all time take. Take the center stage and compete in various beer games.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

To be crowned a champion Beer games is your.

[Ari Shaffir]

What kind of beer games we talking about? Like Rage cage and Beer pong and Flip cup. Okay.

[Taylor Lewan]

Beer dye has always been talked about beer ball. A lot of different things. And it all starts with a three. A three Beer chug out of a.

[Ari Shaffir]

Guess. That's fair. That's fair to get going.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Get going and just love and the.

[Will Compton]

Kind of seed where your team is like where you guys are going to be on the bracket. It.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah. So what do you take early to get a. Like a.

[Taylor Lewan]

A lower seed?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, lower seed. No, you want to go early so you get up.

[Taylor Lewan]

It all depends on your strong suit. I'm. I'm a. I'm a chugger. I can chug, I can chug and I can eat large quantities of food like I. I have.

[Ari Shaffir]

If the fruit is free. I'm. I'm not stopping.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, this is.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, this is that Leanne Kreischer.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

She would not chug anything. I gave her it.

[Taylor Lewan]

That. Yeah, this. It's so much fun. It really is such a great time. The next five days are terrible.

[Ari Shaffir]

I stopped getting hangovers. I'm fine. How so? Wait, dude, you ever get on a. I don't know. I don't know. I woke up one day with a superpower. It just doesn't happen anymore. Yeah, maybe it's baroca. I don't know.

[Taylor Lewan]

I kind of stopped drinking because of the hangover.

[Ari Shaffir]

Literally, if I have a power through. You have what?

[Taylor Lewan]

I have like one or two drinks literally the next day.

[Ari Shaffir]

I feel like you gotta do something about that. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

I literally probably haven't had a drink since this. This event in June.

[Ari Shaffir]

Try Baroka. Call it Baroka. You gotta take these. They're a miracle cure they told me about in Edinburgh.

[Will Compton]

What is it?

[Ari Shaffir]

Everybody drinks every day. B E R O. It's just like British people get it online, but like, it's just like hangover cure. You're just good.

[Will Compton]

So you rip it at the end of the night.

[Ari Shaffir]

Tablet, little caffeine in it.

[Taylor Lewan]

It.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You do one the day before, one the day after. Nothing's happens to you. You do it. It's so full of it. You're just like, boom, I'm back.

[Taylor Lewan]

No way.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And now I guess I do it so much when I fly and that it's just in me. Maybe that's what it is.

[Will Compton]

And you just don't feel it, which is impressive.

[Taylor Lewan]

Now you're taking peds, it sounds like.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Well, what are you about to do? You. I gotta be able to do this for beer Olympics. Did you ever get on a run of beer pong where you just. You just like matrix, you just are the ball.

[Will Compton]

It just depends. Like, unfortunately, look somebody in the eye.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You just know. And you're just like, like.

[Taylor Lewan]

And the crowd erupts around.

[Ari Shaffir]

Hey, get the next team up because this is. You both just go.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're like, ah, one last cup. You're just like, hey, I got this. You call your shot.

[Ari Shaffir]

You just know it.

[Taylor Lewan]

Sink it.

[Will Compton]

Our problem is we put the beer pong at the end for the championship.

[Taylor Lewan]

It needs to be the first event.

[Will Compton]

Needs to be the first event because we counted up. We're having what, like it was 16 beers in the first round.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Within an hour. Yeah, we need to figure that out.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Because you do the three beer chug and then you do flip cup, flip cups. Best two out of three and you're filling up with a pitcher.

[Ari Shaffir]

How long is this?

[Taylor Lewan]

It's an all day event.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's like, it's like, we're gonna.

[Ari Shaffir]

We're gonna try keeping up with Shane once. And I had. I had about 16, but it was. It was. Can you.

[Will Compton]

Can you keep up with Shane?

[Ari Shaffir]

I kept up with her about 10 beers. He was just around.

[Taylor Lewan]

Shane's similar to that Dennis Kelly guy we were talking about where they're just really good at drinking. Drinking a lot. Like, the quantity is really good. Maybe not the speed, but the quantity.

[Ari Shaffir]

Shane's also good at using peer pressure to not get you to switch what you're drinking. So you'll be alcoholic. No, you're a. You're homosexual. Stay with Bud Lights. And you're like, okay. But then like, that's your home court.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

And he gets. He gets the game favorable to himself.

[Will Compton]

He was even playing beer games. And he just. Since he's not good at him, he just makes fun of them. He makes fun of him. Bullies you.

[Taylor Lewan]

Does a great job of making you feel less than while beating him.

[Ari Shaffir]

What do you do, though? This.

[Will Compton]

This rules.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, this rules.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, bro, it's so much fun.

[Ari Shaffir]

What? Oh, you got to get pit vipers a sponsor for this. I mean, if they're not already.

[Taylor Lewan]

Will was one of one that night.

[Ari Shaffir]

Look out. Look. That chick was looking through whoever she was looking at.

[Taylor Lewan]

Look at this. These girls actually destroyed us.

[Ari Shaffir]

Really?

[Taylor Lewan]

They murdered us. Yeah. We did not stand a chance the entire time.

[Will Compton]

Time got our boys 1. Who won the championship.

[Ari Shaffir]

Feels so good when it goes in. You guys won.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Nice.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Like yelling at. Who was it? Who's the. Joe Avery.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, Joe, you need a jo. Another. Another comedian. Joe. Will's basically telling him he's a comedian. He'll never make it. He's a loser.

[Ari Shaffir]

Try to get him off his game.

[Taylor Lewan]

Got it off his game.

[Will Compton]

He miss. I'm like, bro, you got to kill yourself after that.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Verbally abuse.

[Will Compton]

Bach was the ring or something. And you got to go at the. A weaker one at the moment to try and get him off their game.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Yeah. Because the championship.

[Ari Shaffir]

Got to get him off their game. That's a key part of any. Any competition.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Where I was like, we got to get this guy out of here. We gotta get this guy who's a ref. That's Big Cat. So Big Cat actually was.

[Ari Shaffir]

Big Cat came to ref.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, he wasn't. He was in the game. He decided because they're out. This is the championship round. Big Cat came in with a ref outfit on to up the rest of the game. Just started whistling at people the whole time. And just Being a big menace. An absolute menace to the entire thing. Yeah, dude, it was just.

[Ari Shaffir]

Hell, it was nice.

[Will Compton]

I think Ari would be big time, bro.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay, I'll know all the house rules. Oh, they're all different.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, they're all house. We lay it all out. We're gonna send an email this year to everybody that's going, yeah, this will be in like the summertime and it'll be like a Wednesday or a Thursday.

[Ari Shaffir]

What is this? Heart to heart? A drunk heart to heart. Give me a beer. I want a beer.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right here if you want one.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, this is a twisted. Twisted teeth.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah, take one of those. So do you know that guy right there? David Bakhtiari. Played for the packers for a long time. Left tackle, outstanding guy, but an elite football player as well. And all these offensive linemen, they can put down beard, no problem. Yeah, no problem. But yeah, this. This dude, this went on for what, an hour and a half?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, it's getting dark. This started at 11 in the morning.

[Ari Shaffir]

Athletes can go. It's not right. The last game lasted two hours.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

What do you mean?

[Will Compton]

Because no one.

[Ari Shaffir]

I've been there too. It's the opposite of zoning it in where you're just like, ah, I don't have it. You try.

[Will Compton]

Three times in a row. Be like, hey, will you go? Yeah, bro.

[Taylor Lewan]

He'd be going, having conversations with everybody during it. I'm just like, will, please get over here.

[Will Compton]

And now look at Taylor and be like, I'm locked in, man. No.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. And I'm like, brother, you're not. But we're team. We're teammates right now.

[Will Compton]

Hey, I got.

[Ari Shaffir]

I got you gotta have a hard talk. I believe in you, man. Yeah, no one else believed in you.

[Taylor Lewan]

He'd miss you. Go, end it.

[Ari Shaffir]

End it.

[Will Compton]

End him right now.

[Ari Shaffir]

Come on.

[Will Compton]

Oh, gosh.

[Taylor Lewan]

After we. So we end up.

[Ari Shaffir]

You have soak it up food we have there.

[Will Compton]

But you're so into like. There was a taco truck there.

[Taylor Lewan]

We had a couple things. I didn't get a. I didn't get any food the entire time. What?

[Ari Shaffir]

I would just want some bread or something.

[Will Compton]

Well, you get so into.

[Taylor Lewan]

Bring everybody loads of sourdough. Like it's the Coliseum. Medieval Coliseum. We just toss them out. People are shredding it apart.

[Ari Shaffir]

Charcoal pills.

[Taylor Lewan]

Those. Those rip. Those go hard.

[Ari Shaffir]

When I was trying to out drink Shane, I was going to. Every time I went to the bathroom, I would make myself puke.

[Taylor Lewan]

Got to.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And then come back.

[Taylor Lewan]

Get rid of that beer too.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just like, I'm still fine. He's like, I haven't even peed.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, Shane's hilarious.

[Taylor Lewan]

God. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

You guys on that? Protect your parks. When did that start over?

[Ari Shaffir]

It was right before Skank Fest one time. Are we going to do like, an early show to. With Lewis, who runs it? We're like, let's just sell our own show out day before just to. With him. Just like, rub it in. A spike. Spike festival. So it's me, Shane and Norman were going, and then I texted Joe. I was like, hey, do you want us to come there first before we go to Houston? He was like, oh, sure, yeah. And then afterwards, he was like, this is so much better than my dumb scientists. Let's do that. Let's do this more.

[Will Compton]

And you guys basically just have those pods. You just sit there and drink.

[Ari Shaffir]

We just drank.

[Taylor Lewan]

We just around.

[Will Compton]

So they're essentially. Someone should do a case race podcast.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, they do. You guys are doing a case. Right.

[Ari Shaffir]

But it's not really a race. Not a competition. You guys one time was a competition.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. You guys need to do a case race on. On Predator Parks.

[Ari Shaffir]

What is that? First to a case.

[Taylor Lewan]

So it's like you and me are partners. There's a 30 rack. It's 15 beers each or 24 with 12 beers each.

[Ari Shaffir]

So you get partners.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Shane and Mark. It'd be Shane and Mark.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yes.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

You guys would.

[Ari Shaffir]

Mark is the worst drinker. Shane is easily. But you'd have to split them up with somebody. You'd have to handicap them.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

So wait at first. So what is it? What are the rules? First to 20.

[Taylor Lewan]

I love these.

[Ari Shaffir]

I miss college. If you want Asher rock.

[Taylor Lewan]

The simplest game. It's simplest game ever. Like, there's 24 beers in a case of beer or 30, whatever one you want to pick. You and a partner. You guys have to finish that case before anybody else finishes their case. That's it.

[Ari Shaffir]

So with steaks, if you don't.

[Taylor Lewan]

You and I were partners, and I finished my 15 beers first. I could have 16, 17 beers to offset where you have, you know, 14 or 13 beers.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Just keep it simple.

[Ari Shaffir]

Do you have, like. If one guy's better at warm beer, then be like, hey, these are getting empty. You got to step.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah. You can make those all the time.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Will Compton]

You got to play to your. Your boy's strengths. Like, again, if Shane's with Mark and Mark's not very good at drinking, Shane's going to know he's got to carry the.

[Ari Shaffir]

And he's Going to have to carry pressure.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

At Michigan every spring. So when spring football would start, every. The first Saturday of spring football, we would always do a scrimmage. And after that scrimmage, the whole team would go to somebody's house. We have a team wide case race. And for three years, me and my partner. Yeah, me and my partner won the case race like it was like a badge of honor for me. My senior year, this kid named Chris Fox, he's a freshman and early in rolls comes in. This kid's built like he's like £350. Like he looks like the Michelin man.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

He finishes his. The case race with his teammate in 15 minutes and murdered us. Murdered us.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's like what a beer minute.

[Taylor Lewan]

It was incredible. Him and his partner. It was him. And God, that boy is Bill. Yeah, that was him.

[Will Compton]

Look at that Bill go.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's him at 18. Look at his hairline.

[Ari Shaffir]

That hairline is crazy. That's my current hairline.

[Taylor Lewan]

Kids from Colorado, I've never seen a man in a case race. Dude, that was the most incredible feat I've just seen.

[Ari Shaffir]

My going.

[Taylor Lewan]

Kept going. Dude, it was.

[Ari Shaffir]

You did the.

[Taylor Lewan]

Similarly, this is that. That case race is the same one where the butcher knife came out. That is. Yep, that's.

[Will Compton]

That makes sense.

[Taylor Lewan]

So what we do, we bring it all back in where the podcast started.

[Will Compton]

Another rule.

[Taylor Lewan]

Another rule of the case race. No peds allowed. So I cheated.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, coke.

[Taylor Lewan]

Coke.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, coke. Leaving you out there should be a.

[Taylor Lewan]

Moment realizes a drunk like, wow.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's like I haven't even started.

[Taylor Lewan]

You did it yet. It's like, yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yes, you did it in the middle of the case race. Like, you saw that boy.

[Taylor Lewan]

It was over before it started. So that's when I dipped into the bag. Yeah. So I guess I didn't cheat.

[Ari Shaffir]

But I mean, you come back, you go into the bathroom, not even finding. You come out like gentlemen.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Say we have some discussions about serious events now. Yeah. I'm fully ready to drive. Let's go.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, exactly. That's the scariest thing.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

You could be like 30, 30 deep.

[Ari Shaffir]

The library they leave open, I can get us there. And I'm good to drive. Let's go.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yep. And then 15 minutes later, you're back in hell. Literally, this case race, this case race started, and I was probably on my fifth or sixth one. Feeling good. Like, I'm, oh, I might set a new PR this year. I think they're like 37 minutes was like our greatest. Like, we did it. And I was like on my sixth or seventh beer, and it was like, one guy's like, done. I'm like, oh, they're around. I looked over there. Cans were empty. He was finished. Haven't even stood up yet. It was. Dude, it was amazing. It was absolutely amazing.

[Ari Shaffir]

15 beers. When do you start pissing? Whenever.

[Taylor Lewan]

I mean, for him, shortly after you.

[Will Compton]

Try to hold it.

[Taylor Lewan]

His bladder probably exploded that night.

[Will Compton]

How long did those Protect our Parks pods last?

[Ari Shaffir]

Between, like, three hours and like, six.

[Will Compton]

Imagine you guys just house all that beer within an hour.

[Ari Shaffir]

Dude, I threw up into one of the water coolers one time, and they were like, come on, we gotta get back to the hotel. I'm like, bro, bro, leave me. Get the away. I'm fine on the floor. It's not the first I've been laying near my puke. Leave me here.

[Taylor Lewan]

Are you guys watching anything like the ufc? Like, they do the Fight Companion or anything like that?

[Ari Shaffir]

We occasionally call up. Yeah, it's like, oh, man, I heard about video. Do the one with the guy. Jamie's like, I don't. I don't know what those searches are.

[Taylor Lewan]

Have you ever, like, doing those pods, or any pod for that matter, where you get super up on. Have you ever had, like, a next day Scaries?

[Ari Shaffir]

Like, what did I say?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, like, what did I say? What did I do? I'm assuming no.

[Ari Shaffir]

Every time.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah. We say horrible podcast.

[Taylor Lewan]

Talk to the amazing racist. You're going to think there's probably no line.

[Ari Shaffir]

The line of the we talk in private, and then what we're can say publicly about people we know about anything is like, privately, we. We know nuts. And then like four hours in and 10 beers, you're like, oh, is there a microphone here? Like, wait, what have I been saying, bro?

[Taylor Lewan]

That is. There's nothing worse than those scaries, dude.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, my God, the regrets. The Rogan regrets. That's what we call.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Norman always like, I fucked up on this one. I mean, it's like, I don't think that was that bad. And like, anything but there was one you missed. I'm like, oh, no, I forgot about that one. I did. I said. He's like, no, that was you.

[Taylor Lewan]

That was the word. That's the worst part is when your boys tell you, do you know what you did last night?

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't like the way.

[Taylor Lewan]

What are you talking about? And they're like, you did this. Like, oh, my God, you. I called her.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like, you cringe for that guy and then realize it's you.

[Taylor Lewan]

God, just Brutal. Just brutal. But it's always when we had the.

[Will Compton]

The case race with the big cat and them and Shane was on it. We had our faces painted and everything else. That whole next week, Shane would just text me. He's like, I want to kill myself, dude. Just be reading the comments. Because he almost got in a fight with Che.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Yeah. Which is so funny that he almost got in a fight with an Asian guy. Yeah. And then, you know.

[Ari Shaffir]

Dog, you're nuts, right? Sounds great, dude. We had Renazisi were at ASU party one time. Steve Renazisi. And we were just housing as people on. On beer pong. He was cheating. I found out later. He was like drinking half of them pork just pouring on their floor. Yeah. It was just like a frat party. And there was a wall of fame and we both got competitive and like, we want on there. We were like late 30s. Yeah. And we wanted on there. And he's just like housing these 19 year olds. And we just kept. Kept. And they were like, getting drunker and drunken. Like, why aren't you drunk yet? It was like seven was the record. We were like, at, like. We were like on our way to our six, and then it got raided by cops. And we were like, we're like, die. Everyone's running. We dove Behind A.

[Taylor Lewan]

We 30.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, that's what Steve said. He goes, hey, I don't think we actually have to hide.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then we got up. We're like, hi, officers. And like, oh, hey, guys. I'll see you later.

[Taylor Lewan]

You guys shepherding this event?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, creepy, but, like. Like, we weren't doing anything wrong. We're like, we'll be expelled.

[Taylor Lewan]

How much time have you spent at asu?

[Ari Shaffir]

Tons.

[Taylor Lewan]

Dude, is Tempe not so much fun? I grew up in Arizona.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, my God. It's the party school. It's. Everybody's having fun. The chicks eat Denny's six times a week and still have like a nine body. I don't understand it.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's wild. Yeah, it's a wild thing. It's a wild thing to even compare.

[Ari Shaffir]

Nuts. Everybody there's nuts. They love baseball, too.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's the weather, man.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's the weather.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's got to be the weather.

[Will Compton]

They do love baseball because basically all the spring. A lot of spring trainings out there.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah, it's there in Florida. Arizona and Florida. The two places? Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, herpes spreads so fast.

[Taylor Lewan]

That might be a rumor. Like, the Amazing Race is being killed.

[Ari Shaffir]

Interesting.

[Taylor Lewan]

I don't know, because I heard the same thing, but by experience. It was like, hey, you heard people asic. One in three people have hiv. Be that is HIV for real. Or std, whatever.

[Will Compton]

Or they're like, hey, don't go to the phone parties. That's where it's.

[Ari Shaffir]

What are these? Chlamydia. Whatever. That's the warning shot.

[Taylor Lewan]

What is?

[Will Compton]

That's the warning.

[Ari Shaffir]

Chlamydia is a chance for your doctor to say, you got to be more careful. But this is cool. You get daps from your doctor. But seriously, it could get worse. So, like.

[Taylor Lewan]

The second base. Gonorrhea.

[Ari Shaffir]

Gonorrhea is like second base of that.

[Taylor Lewan]

Hey, one more hiccup, and it's over.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's just like, you might break up from this, but it's not gonna be with you for a long time.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay. But it goes away eventually.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, I think so.

[Taylor Lewan]

And then. And then finally syphilis.

[Ari Shaffir]

Syphilis is.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's how Al Capone died, right?

[Ari Shaffir]

Something like that. Can you treat syphilis and have it go away?

[Sherman]

You can now. You can get a nice little antibiotic cocktail.

[Will Compton]

There you go. Sherm.

[Taylor Lewan]

Sherm. How do you know that?

[Will Compton]

Are you sitting here? Fist bump.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Sherman]

Friends have told me.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

You ever not drinking? People like, why aren't you drinking? Like, I'm just going for a week sober. I can do that. Reason. Shut up, move on, talk about someone else.

[Will Compton]

Oh, the chlamydia joke. Hey, good news. You got chlamydia. Oh, but for real, let's talk for a second.

[Ari Shaffir]

Let's slow down.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, let's sit down.

[Ari Shaffir]

For real, though, this could have been worse. Burpees is out there. Yeah. Asu.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. It's the only school I've heard of where they, like. They know they have hot girls, so they have, like, the Tempe 12, where they. They vote. They vote every single year on who the 12 hottest girls are, and then they come out with a calendar or something like that.

[Ari Shaffir]

That.

[Taylor Lewan]

That. That. This, what we're talking about, is the reason why I did not go to asu.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're just casual models. They're just women that could be, like, tops in the world. And they're just. They got, like, campus jobs.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

You'll just go to, like, a. A local target, and they'll be working by dresser, and you're just like, what the.

[Ari Shaffir]

What are you doing? Yeah, it's like America, Sweden.

[Taylor Lewan]

And that's why all they get is those tank tops right there.

[Ari Shaffir]

Who the are these? They're so hot. They don't do anything.

[Taylor Lewan]

Ah, and their football team's good now.

[Ari Shaffir]

God, look at these dorks behind. I can't even look at them. That guy's looking away because of their beauty.

[Will Compton]

In the back. Who's got the eyes locked on the camera?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, yeah, we know.

[Will Compton]

We got it. We know what you're doing.

[Taylor Lewan]

He's getting after him.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, man. Hot girls in asu. Shout out them.

[Ari Shaffir]

Where'd you go?

[Will Compton]

Nebraska.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah. That must be cool. That must just be hard drinking.

[Will Compton]

Oh, the hardest drinking. A lot of white boys. I. I grew up in small town Missouri. So when leveled up to Nebraska, I'm getting all the guys from California and Texas be like, yo, this place sucks. I'm like, what are you talking about? This place rips.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just a big city. Yeah, yeah.

[Will Compton]

What are you talking about? This place rips. Just knowing I grew up in, like, small town Missouri. I'm like, there's chicks everywhere, dude.

[Ari Shaffir]

There's more than three.

[Will Compton]

We gotta get back to Dallas.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like, bro, there's a Chinese restaurant in this town.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's a restaurant, not just a buffet.

[Will Compton]

The buffet's more nice, though.

[Taylor Lewan]

Buffets always hit. Especially.

[Ari Shaffir]

Where's Nebraska?

[Will Compton]

Lincoln.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, dude, I went to a Missouri. No, sorry. Montana opening week. My friend worked there in catering. She's like, I'll get you into some, like, tailgates. And, like, so I was like, I'm gonna make jello shots. I gotta bring some to the party. So I made 250 jello shots, and I just walked through the grizz, like, opening day tailgates. And the people that would just turn, the people that were into jello shots, they. They were just walking along like, no. Yes. What are these? We were just, like, making up. Like, what's this for? I'm like, raise awareness for the whales. I'm like, okay, I'll take those. And then we just go on to the next thing. Like, I need a grizz war. And somebody like, I won't do that, Mike. Then you don't get one. And someone's like, all right, you get it. Let's go.

[Taylor Lewan]

This guy's in.

[Ari Shaffir]

I tried to go into official one. We got chased out because, like, you can't pass out alcoholic drinks where we sell alcohol on campus. I just told that aloud. It was, like, lame, whatever. But we laughed. It was so fun.

[Will Compton]

And this is out Montana.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Which is wild. Like, I didn't know Montana was like that.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's got, like, two months of warm, and it's the best.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, we'll be out in Montana. Montana I don't know if they. They.

[Ari Shaffir]

They always win. Like, Division 2. They're always right there in Division 2. They're actually.

[Taylor Lewan]

They party.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, their football team is good.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, are they really? This one's the one in Bozeman, right? Yeah, the one in Billings is the one that's.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, this is Missoula.

[Taylor Lewan]

Isn't that. That. But isn't that.

[Ari Shaffir]

Isn't it.

[Will Compton]

No, I think they're. I think Missoula.

[Taylor Lewan]

Because when we were in Montana, we passed, I think, this school and, like, Bozeman. The west is Bozeman. Billings is the easiest. It's more Plains, Maybe a Montana State.

[Ari Shaffir]

How important.

[Taylor Lewan]

How important is this?

[Will Compton]

He said, how important is this?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Like, how am I trying to die on right now?

[Ari Shaffir]

That's Montana State.

[Taylor Lewan]

You see how flat it is?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, that's a different college.

[Taylor Lewan]

Different college. Find out where. We gotta find out now. For whatever reason. I gotta.

[Ari Shaffir]

Montana. Grizz. Yeah, it's definitely Missoula, because I went there and I know it.

[Taylor Lewan]

But.

[Ari Shaffir]

But.

[Taylor Lewan]

He was right.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, there was not even a question. Picture being there. And I went there, like, all right.

[Will Compton]

Let'S not be mean to these guys. They're a little slower.

[Ari Shaffir]

I love it. Somebody's like, oh, you're right.

[Taylor Lewan]

First time meeting.

[Will Compton]

Outside of Arizona State.

[Ari Shaffir]

Was the best campus you've went through outside Maryland ruled. Such a big, rolling campus. But that NYU kids, I mean, they're doing. Blowing the streets. They're in, like, a college, like, on a city that's. That's a wild upright.

[Taylor Lewan]

That'd be terrifying. Yeah, that would be terrifying to do that.

[Ari Shaffir]

What's. What's a good, like, campus. Campus? I like the rolling greens, you know, like the real quads.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Like Michigan.

[Ari Shaffir]

Michigan. Yeah. For sure.

[Taylor Lewan]

Michigan's got a beautiful campus. Notre Dame's got a nice name. Notre Dame doesn't. Yeah, yeah.

[Will Compton]

It's got. Yeah. It's one that you appreciate because of the tradition.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

But right outside of the campus is absolutely nothing similar.

[Taylor Lewan]

Similar to Baton Rouge, similar to lsu. Campus is outstanding.

[Will Compton]

You party down at lsu.

[Ari Shaffir]

Never been lsu, never into that campus. Texas has great tailgates. Could you guys party at the. If you were on the road at a school and you. And you wasn't a bus back, could you stay there that night and party in school?

[Taylor Lewan]

You're always late.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. You're flying out that day.

[Taylor Lewan]

Literally, as soon as the game's over, you pack stuff.

[Ari Shaffir]

Damn. It would have been like, well, while we're here, we're done with work.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like, really hanging that town.

[Taylor Lewan]

The bowl games, though. The bowl games. You. You go, you practice for the week, and then after the game, it's like, okay, buses leave at 9am no one be late because the season's over. No one really cares.

[Ari Shaffir]

So then, like, oh, right.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Do what you want out there. Like, we played in the Sugar bowl one year.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Down in New Orleans. And that was the best. So much fun. Threw up on a guy's bike right in front of him.

[Will Compton]

Felt terrible.

[Taylor Lewan]

It was awesome, man. It was. It was a really good time.

[Ari Shaffir]

Hey, tell me. I have a theory that the preseason Maui at nit for, like, the Maui invitation for basketball. There's always upsets. And my theory is because they're out there surfing all day and they're not in game ready. In, like, game head ready.

[Taylor Lewan]

Let me ask you this.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

How many basketball players you think are.

[Ari Shaffir]

In the water surfing or just being on the beach?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, okay, surfing is a bad. Surfing was a bad year. Surfing is the wrong thing in him.

[Will Compton]

Asking us how much college basketball. Basketball.

[Taylor Lewan]

We don't know. But if you're an athlete, you had.

[Will Compton]

A nice zinger back to him. Like, like, okay, he knows what he's talking about.

[Ari Shaffir]

Moving Montana to. To Bis. Let's go.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's right.

[Will Compton]

What's been your favorite comedy tour with. With the group you're with?

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't know. Not really with Grew. I just take different openers. Different, like, good comics from New York.

[Will Compton]

Give us your top three openers.

[Ari Shaffir]

Joe List open for me. Once, right after Louie got canceled and he was back on the market. It was nice. It was like, he' for like, three months.

[Will Compton]

Like, hey, brother, I know they won't touch you.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Adrian Appaloochi's fun column. Tyrrell gets after it with booze. He's fun. Yeah. He's gonna be with me in Denver. Yeah, he's. Every time, he's like, you know those guys. Like, no, I'm going sober now. You're like, okay. And then like, by the end of the night, though, we're gonna be drinking? Yeah, for sure. That's column.

[Will Compton]

Knowing all the drinking and drugs that you've done, have you ever had the.

[Ari Shaffir]

Sober moments where I'm like, I can't do it.

[Will Compton]

Where you're like, hey, I'm gonna. I'm gonna. I'm gonna turn the tide here.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I did try January last year. It was great. But, like, I thought about it this time. Obviously, I didn't do it again. I thought about this time and I was like, no, I think I'm gonna go do one of those Rogan episodes in the middle of January, so I'll definitely be drinking that. I was like, you know what? Actually, I'm gonna drink every day instead, so. So it's been worse than ever, But I do, you know, whatever. You feel good, but. Yeah, you feel lame.

[Will Compton]

One dry January throughout your career.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's it. Yeah, that's plenty.

[Taylor Lewan]

Got it. Done. Done. You guys ever do it 5k?

[Ari Shaffir]

You ever clean up?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I mean, I said to you, like, you can't literally up until this.

[Will Compton]

Last month, like, after beer Olympics, I was. I basically used my old man because my old man's been sober now for, like, seven months. And I'm like, I'm gonna do it in solidarity with my dad, but I did a case race not too long ago.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

And I had a few out there in New Orleans, but we never hit Bourbon street like that. We never heard Bourbon Street.

[Taylor Lewan]

I was trash.

[Ari Shaffir]

Purpose is trash. There's other places to go in New Orleans, you see.

[Will Compton]

It's refreshing to hear that.

[Taylor Lewan]

So we just got back from New Orleans literally yesterday.

[Will Compton]

I love Adam Devine's, like, this the greatest city in the world. I'm like, man, is it?

[Ari Shaffir]

But not there. It's like, Austin. It's like here, too. Broadway, after a while, sucks. You got to go somewhere cool.

[Taylor Lewan]

You got to spend a couple weeks on Broadway, though, when you first get there.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, for sure.

[Taylor Lewan]

First get here, you got to. You got to immerse in that, and.

[Will Compton]

Then you got to be shoulder to shoulder, trying to get in spots.

[Taylor Lewan]

Then you start finding, like, the five spots in East. He starts finding, like, the fun.

[Ari Shaffir]

Went there last night.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Nice.

[Will Compton]

Where'd you go last night?

[Ari Shaffir]

Five spot.

[Taylor Lewan]

Five spots. Like this little.

[Will Compton]

Oh, five spot. That's what it's called.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Yeah. Out in East Nashville, Jazz bar. They have, what, Jazz on Mondays? Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. East is pretty cool. You got to get away from that. That downtown area. Then it's, like, not bad, though, every.

[Taylor Lewan]

Once in a while to get down there.

[Ari Shaffir]

Of all the downtowns, Nashville might have the best one.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Of all the. Like, this is just for tourists. It's good walking.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's a good walking area, too. It's fun. But.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. The drinking thing.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay. For science, I want you to try a Baroca two days in a row, and then drink and then the broken the next day.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'll do that for beer Olympics.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay.

[Taylor Lewan]

I promise you. My first call, I'm like, okay, you were right. Or hey, brother. I feel like, okay, well, he'll know.

[Will Compton]

The next day because he'll be out there with.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's right.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, that's right.

[Taylor Lewan]

Do you want to commit to beer Olympics right now?

[Ari Shaffir]

When is it?

[Taylor Lewan]

June.

[Will Compton]

It'll be in June. It's usually what, later June, right? Oh, I guess we've kind of moved it. We've moved it both times. It can be up in the air. Are your tour dates and schedule pretty set for the.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm about to go, like. Like, sell all my. And go backpacking in June. At some point, I could. I don't sell all your.

[Will Compton]

And go back.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. South America, Southeast Asia. Just like a year.

[Taylor Lewan]

Really?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. But, like, if I'm. If I'm still here for that, a 1,000%, I want to do it.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

So would you say.

[Ari Shaffir]

But it's like, right on the line.

[Will Compton]

Would you say if. If. If you're advising us to do it and we want you a part of it? Maybe the first half of June.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, the first week of June would really go well with me.

[Taylor Lewan]

Now, if you're thinking about getting football players, though, OTAs doesn't end till the middle of.

[Will Compton]

That's always been in the middle of June.

[Taylor Lewan]

Ends in the middle of July. June 15th is always a good marker for you to be like, okay, that's when we can kind of start looking at dates back half of June. Yeah, we could do before OTAs. I mean, that would be. We literally have to plan it now.

[Ari Shaffir]

When. When did OTA start?

[Taylor Lewan]

April 20 is usually a good. It's funny because the 420 is the first day you can get tested. Yeah, that's usually the first.

[Ari Shaffir]

So, like, do the test in the morning. Come on, hurry up. Do that test.

[Sherman]

Yeah, let's have a show on the.

[Ari Shaffir]

18Th of June 18th, just in Anchorage. That's when I'm starting the trip.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, dude. You can make it back from Anchorage, Alaska.

[Ari Shaffir]

But that's when I'm starting my trip from there.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, really?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're out, dude.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm out.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're. Well, I want you.

[Ari Shaffir]

Unless I push it, there's an outside chance. I push to, like. Like, July or August.

[Taylor Lewan]

Well, no, we could do, like, the 15th or 16th.

[Will Compton]

July 1st. Dude. What do July 1st.

[Ari Shaffir]

So. So I could be here for this.

[Taylor Lewan]

July won't be great. That would be a good time to do it. Yeah.

[Sherman]

It's a month of independence.

[Ari Shaffir]

I love how we're telling him how to tour.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Sherman]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

I just met him 15 minutes ago.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, I want to throw up on Your lawn.

[Taylor Lewan]

But this is another reason why. Yeah, you'll be right there next to me.

[Will Compton]

Last year, I like couldn't stand up.

[Taylor Lewan]

Your tour dates is a reason why.

[Ari Shaffir]

We do it on weekdays so people can like.

[Taylor Lewan]

So people come together.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Like comics. Anybody who's in the entertainment, they're traveling Thursday through Sunday.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah. Whenever I have a barbecue on my list, like, I'm like, deck. It's always like Tuesdays, Wednesdays.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Otherwise no one's here.

[Taylor Lewan]

Done. Exactly.

[Ari Shaffir]

Also like, oh yeah, I got a little deck. It's great. Also like. And we live like animals in New York. I have a deck this big. From you to you. And everyone's like, wow. So great.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, life's pretty good right now. Life's pretty good right now.

[Taylor Lewan]

Do you think you're gonna be in New York forever?

[Ari Shaffir]

No, I'll probably loo. I'll probably move. Just. I lived in LA for a long time. It was fun, but it was like, I just kind of want new, new restaurants and new people. People. Yeah, you know.

[Will Compton]

You thinking about going to Austin?

[Ari Shaffir]

No. It's true. It's trash. The vibe is trash. The comics are cool, but it's bachelorette town. It's this worse.

[Will Compton]

I was gonna say. Yeah, that's basically this.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Everyone would tell me before I went to Austin. They're like, hey, have you been awesome now? Like, if you like Nashville, you're gonna love Austin. Swampier.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's hotter. It's hotter. For sure.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's hotter. For sure. I'm a big, big guy.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, it does have music. I mean it's real similar. The trash. Like, like, like 35 year old Bachelorette party with like smoke and lasers in a bar that has seven people in it. It's just like, what are you doing? Yeah, garbage.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But that's just the downtown. There's cooler areas.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, that's just the downtown.

[Taylor Lewan]

Nashville. Nashville is a great area.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

You can get land out here. You can move out here. No state income tax.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's pretty key.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, it's fun.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's pretty key.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's a fun.

[Will Compton]

You know what? I'll get him. We're gonna have to. They have to lock Shane in. We get Shane's in Nashville and we can fully peer pressure them. Go full court press.

[Taylor Lewan]

Shane's gonna be like, oh, bros, I'm in bros. Chill. We're gonna bro down like three weeks before. I'd be like, hey, bro, you know the bag.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. Bud Light. Bud Light just got me.

[Taylor Lewan]

I got these commercials. Oh, it's crazy.

[Will Compton]

Commercials.

[Taylor Lewan]

A week before a thing, then we.

[Will Compton]

Don'T text him back within five minutes. I knew you guys would change up on me.

[Ari Shaffir]

What happened, man? What's wrong with you today? He's wrong with me. Me, Sean, I just got here.

[Will Compton]

You ever don't answer my phone call again, bro, I knew you'd go Hollywood on me.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, but Nashville, D, you got to move.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Whenever they try to get me to move to Austin, they tried non stop and it's like, no. They're like, the food's great. I'm like, bro, I live in New York. They're crazy.

[Taylor Lewan]

That Terry Blacks. That's probably people in Austin right now.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's one place. It's fine, it's great. But it's like, relax. It's one place.

[Taylor Lewan]

If you could eat one food. The rest of this is a hard hitting question. One, one genre of food the rest of your life.

[Ari Shaffir]

What is it? Every day. Gotta fill up on that.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're a giver.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's an obvious. Yeah, I'm glad you asked. Glad you asked. This is what my presidential campaign was all about. Emo, lick those titties. I don't know how far I would have gotten the primaries, but. But I would have got a small loyal group of followers.

[Taylor Lewan]

Trump would have been like, you know, that guy's not half bad.

[Ari Shaffir]

But the rest of them, my.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah, this guy's funny. I like this guy.

[Will Compton]

Unless he did it at that. At one of his.

[Taylor Lewan]

The roast. Oh, not the roast. The.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. What the is that called?

[Taylor Lewan]

I know, rally.

[Will Compton]

But was it a rally that he did?

[Taylor Lewan]

His presidential rally? Yeah, Tony.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah, one of the rallies.

[Will Compton]

Don't know him. Don't want to know him.

[Ari Shaffir]

What a sell out that Trump is. Come on, man. You know this guy's supporting you. Cut his legs out.

[Taylor Lewan]

We interviewed Trump and we're like, so tell us, do you like Shane's impression of you? And he's like, I don't. We're like 100. No.

[Ari Shaffir]

Who wouldn't have shown it to you?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yes.

[Ari Shaffir]

Actually, I'm not going to show this.

[Taylor Lewan]

Telling us. He's like. They're like, yeah, he's always on the plane. Like scrolling Instagram. Scrolling, whatever.

[Ari Shaffir]

You're searching your name all the time. There's no way you don't come across Shane's impression.

[Will Compton]

No doubt we felt the same thing. Like, yeah, I know. You see him change impression and then, and then he does.

[Taylor Lewan]

I like, I kind of try to double down. I was like, he does a great impression of you. It's very funny. I've heard great, great things. Literally, verbatim, what he said.

[Ari Shaffir]

You got. The only way to get with Trump is you got to, like, challenge him. You got to be like. They're like, oh, he's actually. It's better than you are. He's like, yeah, I legitimately, like, Trump is in that world now a little bit, and he has been too frightened to go on kill Tony. Tony, like, Tony wants him on there. And he's legitimately frightened. He's like a scared baby.

[Taylor Lewan]

Wait. Who won't go on.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, yeah. He's a clip this, maybe you might call it. I won because the president. I have respect for it, but some people call him a pussy. It's obvious to do it. Everyone's done it. I don't know why I wouldn't. Right. Because he's not the man he claims to be.

[Will Compton]

Especially when you got. Yeah, you got all the boys up there. You got. Who's Adam?

[Ari Shaffir]

Adam Ray. Oh, yeah. Let him fight. Let him fight the real Biden.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

No doubt. And honestly, there's a perfect bit of like, he's him. And then Shane comes out as him, and then Trump gets to knock himself out.

[Ari Shaffir]

Maybe they both beat the. Out of Biden.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. One of them gets it all forced.

[Will Compton]

Adam just takes both of them down.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

The other one tabletops them over him.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Have some respect for him. There you go.

[Taylor Lewan]

We just did a whole entire show that's like. That broke the Internet just now. If that ever came to life, what we just said.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah. Why doesn't he do that?

[Ari Shaffir]

It's because he's. Yeah. And he was dodging it before he was dodging bullets. So. It's not about that security. Rogan has a lot of Mossad agents there.

[Taylor Lewan]

God, yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, legitimately, I think he's afraid to look bad. And it's a thing. You got to stay in the moment. And he just not really good at that.

[Taylor Lewan]

I love it. You're saying all the right things. You're saying all the right things to get his ass on. Gentlemen, shout out Lucy. Visit Lucy co buston and use promo code busting to get 20 off your first order. Subscribe for another 15 off and shipping is always free. Lucy products are the. Are only for adults of legal age and every order is age verified. Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. I might be talking out of my ass right now, but I. Are you a big conspiracy guy, guy? You like the conspiracies?

[Ari Shaffir]

I like the ones that are like lizard people. Lizard people. The birds are not real.

[Taylor Lewan]

Birds are not real. Birds are not Reals are my favorites with.

[Ari Shaffir]

But how do they get charged? The wires. The wires charge them.

[Taylor Lewan]

So you're into that?

[Ari Shaffir]

I love it. Ian rules. It's the best.

[Taylor Lewan]

Dude, there's.

[Ari Shaffir]

Everything QAnon says is worth writing fanfiction for.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's awesome. I don't know what QAnon is charged, but charging the wires is. Actually makes a lot of sense.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

That's why I don't think I've ever came across that conspiracy.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, but either lizard people think the Denver Airport thing.

[Ari Shaffir]

Denver Airport. Every time I pass that mural, you're just like, what? Why would you have this here?

[Will Compton]

And then when you're driving Denver everywhere, you got to drive. You're just like, there is definitely some out here.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh, yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

In between Denver on the horizon of Skyline.

[Taylor Lewan]

You're like, I guess we're driving there.

[Ari Shaffir]

And then the whole way, the pyramid of Antarctica.

[Taylor Lewan]

Well, you didn't know about this.

[Ari Shaffir]

No.

[Taylor Lewan]

There's a pyramid in Antarctica.

[Ari Shaffir]

It stands to reason.

[Taylor Lewan]

I actually don't know anything about that.

[Ari Shaffir]

Blew my mind, too, which is. Reading it out loud just crazy.

[Taylor Lewan]

There. There is something about getting a little. Get a little banged up, get on that phone, and going down a nice little rabbit hole of different conspiracies.

[Ari Shaffir]

Sometimes the QAnon ones are, like. They're dumb. It's fun to, like, play along. But some of them, like, if you hear enough, like, of their support, you're like, yeah. And then you, like, repeat it later to someone else, like, what are you talking about?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're right.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, yeah.

[Will Compton]

That one isn't real.

[Taylor Lewan]

The flat earth. Would that qualify as you.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's one of the ones.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

But, like, I went to Cuba. Me and Bobby Kelly went to Cuba. We're, like, learning about Cuban history and the Bay of Pigs and all that stuff. I didn't really know about any of it. And they were like, kennedy went against. I was telling my mom all this. Kennedy went against the CIA and the. And the military because they, like, told him he'd have an easy time taking over Cuba. And then it was hard. He got that intel, and he, like, talked about them publicly. And that's one of the reasons they say, like, the CIA made of kill Kennedy.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

And my mom's like, ari, stop.

[Will Compton]

We're at Thanksgiving. We're trying to have a good meal.

[Ari Shaffir]

I just said it into, like, it's real, is it not?

[Taylor Lewan]

All those files getting released I don't know when they do. There's an executive order that was signed, like, two weeks ago for those to get released.

[Ari Shaffir]

You think it's going to get released? If you had to bet all your money. Released or not released, Fully released or not? Not fully released.

[Taylor Lewan]

So my.

[Will Compton]

Because didn't Didn't Trump say, like, there's a little too much. I don't think the people are ready for it.

[Taylor Lewan]

He said that a while back. I think he said that in his first administration. This one, he signed an executive order saying, I am releasing all the files on rfk, jfk, and Martin Luther King. And that was his first day in office.

[Will Compton]

He could sign that, but it's still.

[Taylor Lewan]

And he took. He takes the Sharpie. He goes, make sure Bobby gets this. Like, RFK junior Senior friend of the show. Oh, yeah. So he signed an executive order. And in my dumb American brain, I'm like, well, he signed the order. It has to happen, right? But then I'm hearing about all these things getting blocked. I'm like, okay, so what can you.

[Ari Shaffir]

Do back on, like, do a lawsuit? When Rogan was pressing him on, like, how much do you read? He goes, plenty. He goes, but how much? He goes, I read plenty. He goes, half. More than half? Less than. He goes, about half. But he said he couldn't release it before because people were still alive on the road.

[Will Compton]

That's right.

[Ari Shaffir]

Which means something's up.

[Taylor Lewan]

Up. Something's happened.

[Ari Shaffir]

You don't be like, oh, yeah, I did the autopsy. It was like, one gunshot.

[Taylor Lewan]

Ain't no way.

[Ari Shaffir]

Still alive. Yeah. So, like, then why, like, why. What do you mean someone's alive? If it was all in the up and up, it wouldn't matter, right?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, that, that, that I would really love to know.

[Ari Shaffir]

I love to know that.

[Taylor Lewan]

I love to know about. If the moon landing was real, that would be nice. That, like, I mean, I didn't. The Martin Luther King thing, I didn't even know there was conspiracy behind that.

[Ari Shaffir]

He's not a real guy. They made him up. It's. It's not even like, if you talk to anyone from the 60s, they were like, no, no, that came later, in the 70s or 80s. Anyone from the 60s was like that. That's. We never thought, yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Guy's not real.

[Ari Shaffir]

One of the things. Not real. That was the first Junior because there was like, oh, there already is a mother of the King. And it's like, Colin Jr. And so then. And so then it's like, so, like past the test, if you had to.

[Taylor Lewan]

Say, right now who did it to jfk? Who do you think did it? Government Mafia.

[Ari Shaffir]

Right, the government mafia. And then which part of the government? It's a military, CIA. I think they all met and they said, listen, they couldn't have been like 9 11, like let it happen. But we're not doing it. That's what they say for 911.

[Taylor Lewan]

Have you seen Loose Change? It's an old.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, but as a Jew, I'm interested.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay.

[Will Compton]

Let'S elaborate.

[Ari Shaffir]

The are you laughing at?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. So Loose Change is like a video. I got an old YouTube video that came out that like was explaining why it's all an undercover job, why everything. Like people were told not to go in. Some days you can see like detonations going off like a floor below as it's coming down. All the things, it's just, you don't.

[Ari Shaffir]

Know what's real, what's not. Like.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I never want to say, like I believe this because I don't know what I believe, but it's so much fun to look into.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's also like something's up.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, something's.

[Ari Shaffir]

Whenever they go Tower Seven, I'm like, that one always gets me seven to.

[Taylor Lewan]

Elaborate on something's up. Like, do we really want to know? Do like, do you really want to know all the up things that we've done?

[Ari Shaffir]

You're right, it's too close. Jfk. It's long enough.

[Taylor Lewan]

I feel.

[Will Compton]

I just want to know, do we control the weather? Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, that's us.

[Will Compton]

Like, do we want to know Jews? Yeah, it's Taylor. We talk about, do we want to know? I don't know if he wants.

[Ari Shaffir]

Why. It was 70 today. Nashville, February.

[Taylor Lewan]

You decided.

[Ari Shaffir]

You're welcome. That's all I want is a thank you. Occasionally, God, a little niceness goes a long way. More trap, more flies with honey. Yeah, I would love to know who did it. I think, I mean, the mafia was because of Cuba, because they had money there. I think it was the CIA. If I had to guess anybody, it was a CIA training that guy or maybe doing the fucking mind altering shit. Yeah, I have no clue. But what do you think?

[Will Compton]

I truly have no idea. There was another video coming out not too long ago where they talked about, oh, check out the bullet. The way the bull went. But people like, oh, that's AI.

[Ari Shaffir]

And I'm like, well, oh yeah, now you can't trust anything.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Because there was. I did see a video of the driver of the car turning around and shooting something. And I was like, oh. Because he does see the back of his head go out. But it might be a. I don't know.

[Ari Shaffir]

My buddy Ryan O'Neill says it was. It was actually. If you look at the video closely, it was Jackie, because she gets in there and gets him and then just puts one in his. You know, she goes for him.

[Taylor Lewan]

And she was too well dressed.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. He goes. She dives right at him and you can't see your other hand. And then he goes up. Dude, she was too well dressed. Yeah. She was wearing a celebration dress already.

[Taylor Lewan]

She was always. Something's up, right?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, something's up.

[Taylor Lewan]

You know, something about well dressed people.

[Ari Shaffir]

Look at the money train.

[Sherman]

There was a clip. I know Alex Jones has said some crazy things, but.

[Ari Shaffir]

No, that guy's on. He's.

[Sherman]

But they had a.

[Will Compton]

He said. I know. Joe said some crazy things.

[Sherman]

They had a release of an audio recording of ex CIA, I believe that just came about. That they were saying the orders came from Linda B. Johnson to kill Kennedy. To kill Kennedy.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow. To take over. He took over for him.

[Will Compton]

He did.

[Ari Shaffir]

Okay. Because they probably talked to the Vice President, like, will you support the opposite of this if something, anything were to happen? He was like, loud and clear. Yes, I will change Holy. Our stance on this. Yeah. I can see the military. Because the military. Kennedy's like a peace nick. Right. Or was.

[Sherman]

He was.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. So the military is like, we need war. What are you doing?

[Taylor Lewan]

Alex Jones is such an interesting person. Like, the first. Really is first Rogan episode I ever watched was episode 911 with Alex Jones. I'd like four or five friends hit me. I'm like, you should watch this. Because we were all kind of diving. The conspiracy stuff.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

And I listened. I'm like, this is crazy. The whole pizza gate thing, the emails, all that stuff started happening. And then he gets sued for custody of his kids. He's talking about, I ate chili that day. So. And I was like, kind of getting lost. And then the Trump assassination happened. He's like, I called that. But it's like, did you call that or did you just say a whole bunch of things? And one happened to hit.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

You know, it's just.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's Rogan's always said, like, one out of ten things he said was, like, accurate. Nine out of ten was wild. Before he was. They called him right wing or anything. He was just like. Like, he's crazy. He's crazy. Like, that one actually might be true. Maybe he just got too close on the true one to somebody.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Supporting. And they Said like, let's paint him as an all right guy. Get rid of him.

[Taylor Lewan]

Get him out of here.

[Will Compton]

You know who gets close is the. The Simpsons don't get close.

[Taylor Lewan]

They do.

[Will Compton]

Incredible. Like a long time ago.

[Ari Shaffir]

They've been around for so long, they just keep.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think they called Trump becoming president. They called 911.

[Ari Shaffir]

They called 911?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yes.

[Ari Shaffir]

What?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, I don't.

[Ari Shaffir]

I don't remember that episode. Pull it up.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm telling you, my wife's a big Simpsons person.

[Ari Shaffir]

Predicts 911. 13.

[Will Compton]

Oh, this is where the numbers game gets involved.

[Taylor Lewan]

See, I always get up with the numbers. Yeah, I always get messed up with the numbers.

[Ari Shaffir]

You can now see the dat.

[Will Compton]

Just flip the image.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh my God, that's it.

[Taylor Lewan]

I thought there was one with a poster as well. It was like coming soon.

[Will Compton]

That's the one I've seen.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, why wouldn't they just do 9, 11. 9. Oh, interesting. 9, 11. Oh, snap.

[Taylor Lewan]

Huh?

[Will Compton]

Oh, well, now that. That is interesting.

[Taylor Lewan]

Okay, good. I'm glad because the last one I was like, you boys gotta help me out back there.

[Ari Shaffir]

Misinformation to drive us off the road.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, right.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, there's that. Yeah. So who. The Simpsons. What do they know?

[Ari Shaffir]

What's it? What? Yeah, who's telling them? They know. They must have been that city party.

[Taylor Lewan]

You know who does animation better than anybody else is the south park guys. They are. They don't call things, but they're basically their recap of the year. Four or five years have been incredible.

[Ari Shaffir]

The specials are just so great.

[Taylor Lewan]

Unbelievable, man.

[Ari Shaffir]

The one about the influencers not made for kids. Whatever is not suitable for children. Yeah, yeah. It was just like. It's just like they bid on influence. Like, we're going to own you. Who wants to own you either? Pfizer, the Russian military, you know, whatever. The woke left.

[Taylor Lewan]

So good. Good, dude. They. That's. That's just outstanding creativity.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Is that a new, new one?

[Taylor Lewan]

Is this coming out soon?

[Sherman]

That one's already.

[Taylor Lewan]

This one's already out. Okay.

[Ari Shaffir]

The return of co. Yeah, they rule right there. That's when you just get high and just sit there and just like that. I. Sometimes it makes me stop halfway through. Like this is so deep. Like you're laughing, you're like, wait, why.

[Will Compton]

Am I laughing so hard?

[Ari Shaffir]

It's all accurate.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, the OIC one was so funny.

[Ari Shaffir]

ZIC was the best.

[Will Compton]

That was hilarious. Hilarious.

[Taylor Lewan]

When was it? Stan? No, Randy. Randy Marsh, who's getting in with all the. The moms trying to get the Oz doing heists. Just trying to get it all done.

[Ari Shaffir]

Trying to steal them, bro.

[Taylor Lewan]

So funny. Because it's the perfect show because you. You can watch the show and just laugh and have a good time with it, but if you put any thought into what they're talking about, it's like, holy.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, they're really. Yeah. The goofy parts are goofy, and then the smart parts are really smart. They take every side of every angle.

[Will Compton]

Right.

[Ari Shaffir]

Every issue.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right.

[Will Compton]

Great.

[Taylor Lewan]

I do love it, man.

[Ari Shaffir]

Randy's the best character in television by far.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, he is. Incredible television. I don't. I'm not willing to put a flag down on that, but who better than.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, you like Bill Cosby?

[Taylor Lewan]

Well, I'm sorry I wasn't fan of.

[Ari Shaffir]

The Cosby show fair. Yeah, it was. Everybody did watch.

[Taylor Lewan]

Everybody did watch.

[Will Compton]

I mean, Stan's performance in the Little League baseball, where he's. He's fighting the parents.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Oh, my goodness.

[Taylor Lewan]

And all the kids are trying to drive. They end up winning the World Series.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, yeah. He. He might be. I just am afraid to plant my flag in that and then like, an hour later, be like, oh, this character was incredible.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, my God. The best I was with. I was at a UFC with Alex Jones once and Joey Diaz. And this is before people, like, ostracized him, and. But he's fun and lunatic, and Diaz gave him a cookie, like a homemade cookie, and he's like, what's in the cookie? And Joey goes, eat the cookie. Okay. And then, like, an hour later, it's, Alex Jones just backed out at a ufc, just like you thought. He's paranoid before, it was on another level of what was going on.

[Will Compton]

Yo, how hard does Joey go?

[Ari Shaffir]

He goes as far as you can go. He goes all the way. He's dosed me so many times, putting a different dosage sticker over the dosage sticker on an edible. And then you, like, you. You ever have something happening? Kind of nags at you a little, but you can't quite put a finger on it. So, like, I remember eating a 25 milligram edible, and then it was like, someone's neck, and then it was like, you look at 25, and it's like that. Just off a little. And I was like, wait a minute. On the Rapper, And I'm like, no, Joey, 250.

[Will Compton]

Come on, 250.

[Ari Shaffir]

That's. So I was going for it at 25.

[Taylor Lewan]

That is crazy. I would probably die.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And then you're just like, I don't even know. It's about this. It's about to happen.

[Will Compton]

Like, 25. I'm like, this is gonna be a wild ride, dude.

[Taylor Lewan]

I've never even done a 25. I'll do five, so. And I'm saying, like, five and 10.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Lives are just like, hey, let's have a nice little evening change. Change a couple channels in the brain.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think 250.

[Will Compton]

Bring the personality to life.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Or don't. Or just, like, on a zone, on your phone for three hours. Whatever.

[Ari Shaffir]

I used to do 30s for you.

[Taylor Lewan]

Police.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. That's crazy. It was just like. But I knew what happened, so it's like, you just gotta ride it out. He left me eventually.

[Taylor Lewan]

He leaves you.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. He's like, you're all.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, Sagura. He's been drugged by Diaz as well.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think he's the only guy to drug people and, like people.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. It's endearing with him. Look at his face. That's a. That's a drugger.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's a drugger.

[Ari Shaffir]

Right? Someone who's bad for the.

[Taylor Lewan]

You got to get it. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I like the playbook.

[Ari Shaffir]

You do 30 for UFC fights, 30 for UFC fights. You do these, like, these breath strips that were so small, you could half. It was like 50 each. Half was, like, about right.

[Will Compton]

Then walk out the tunnel.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Jon Jones was two of them. You just. I'm like, no, no, what are you doing? He's like, buddy, I'm fine. Yeah. But then we'd be in there, like, it'd be like, fourth round. I'm like, who's. Is this, like, a. Is this, like, tide? They're like, no. One guy's calling the other guy. Like, they both seem like they're trying. I don't know.

[Taylor Lewan]

They both seem like they're trying.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're both doing their best.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's pretty good stuff.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You get gone. I'll fall asleep at UFC's on those, too. I'll just be passed out for a while. They'll laugh at me. I'll, like, come back and be ready to party.

[Will Compton]

Let's see the stars that are out tonight. Somebody, like, called Joey, like, picks up his arm to waves his hand.

[Ari Shaffir]

I've done acid at UFC before, a couple of times.

[Taylor Lewan]

What's acid like?

[Will Compton]

Boys, shout out lucy. Visit Lucy Co Busin and use promo code Butsin to get 20 off your first order. Subscribe for another 15 off, and shipping is always free. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. Warning. This product does contain nicotine and nicotine is an addictive chemical.

[Ari Shaffir]

Ufc. It's wild because you start breaking it down, and you're just like, this is just like the Coliseum. They're just like.

[Taylor Lewan]

It really is like, they call.

[Ari Shaffir]

This is no different. I started thinking, if Superman would come in, he'd be like, why break this up? Why are you all cheering? What's wrong with you? They're getting hurt.

[Taylor Lewan]

They're getting hurt.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They say they had their own, like, entrance songs. It was like, this is just must. It must have been like acid was.

[Taylor Lewan]

Was one of those things. Like, as a kid, you hear about people doing acid, and then you become like, oh, this kid was skateboarding. He did an acid trip, like, two months ago, and he cracked his back and he rewent to a trip. You're like, I don't know that. Do you ever heard that?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, like, flashbacks.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, people have, like, flashback trips.

[Ari Shaffir]

It wouldn't be like a full of a trip to me, but never cracked.

[Taylor Lewan]

My back, you know, like, you pop a knuckle, bro releases.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Ass is clean. It's nice. It's electric. You don't get like this like you do on mushrooms. You're like, I just want to stay here and acid. You're like, let's go.

[Taylor Lewan]

Let's go.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, you wake up, you're still up on a golf course at sunup. Like, this rules. You just need a lighter for your joint.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know about acid. Ayahuasca is interesting.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's way longer. Acid is way longer than mushrooms.

[Taylor Lewan]

Have you done.

[Will Compton]

Have you done ayahuasca?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, once. The Ecuador. I was down there.

[Taylor Lewan]

How was that pandemic?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Kind of blue. Couldn't get a boner. It was great. Nobody says it's bad. No, no one's ever said it's bad. Yeah, no, it rules. It, like, gets you, like, to. It's just like. Like, it's not even a drug. It's just, like, a different thing. It's just like that ayahuasca level of, like, I'm not. Ayahuasca, the salvia, where you're, like, kind of gone. Yeah, it's that, but more so. And you're just like. You just think clearly about yourself with, like, no attachment to your side. So you can, like, really just judge. Like, oh, that guy's up. You know how you judge your friends sometimes?

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Like, I wish he'd stop doing that. It's bad for him. Wish you stop dating that bad. Yeah, but then you say that about that guy and, like, wait, that guy's me? Oh, I should stop dating that bad. I'm not, like, holding on to it.

[Taylor Lewan]

So when you come to, do you still have those realizations?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. I spent three days just writing down notes of, like. Of, like, everything you saw. Just, like, all day long. Just writing down notes before it was gone. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Then are you, like, talking to somebody, like, when you're separated? Oh, like, when you're. Yeah, when you're, like. When you're gone and thinking about all this stuff, like, I'm not gonna judge myself. Are you, like, talking to somebody?

[Ari Shaffir]

There's, like.

[Will Compton]

Is there, like, a therapist in the middle?

[Ari Shaffir]

No, no, no. There's one guy throwing, like. Like, honeycomb or some. Some wax on a fire. So it, like, makes shape so you can, like, see it. And then he's also, like, playing, like, a drum. He's just like. If he sees it kind of come out of it, he'll just, like. He'll just keep doing this and get you, like, rhythmic. And then you, like, get back into, like, gone again. And then he's just like. And then he stops and throws on the fire. Yeah, you just had. Sometimes you're, like, gone for a while. Sometimes you're up. You, like, walk around, barf on the side.

[Will Compton]

That's right.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

I couldn't figure out how, like, snakes and jaguars weren't getting in because it was, like, jungle. But then, like, I got up once and I went to puke, and I saw, like, a veil, like, right outside the hut. You know, like, huts with, like, stakes and, like.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Thatch on top, and it was like, a veil. And I was like, oh. And then I, like, went. And it just kind of goes through it. I'm like, oh. But I could, like, see it. And I'm like, oh, this is stopping animals from getting in. Yeah, we could die anymore. It ruled. It ruled.

[Taylor Lewan]

That is.

[Ari Shaffir]

That chick was there. That one chick was there.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's the guy right there.

[Ari Shaffir]

That chick's a fake. She's a fake. The one on the right, they replaced her with another one. She had a purple flower. Yeah. It was pretty. It was pretty great. No one hates it. You just work out a lot of your. He told us about this one guy who was, like, a sicario, like a hitman for some whatever. And he, like. He realized what he was doing while he was on Iwas. Yeah, he really just, like, screaming and, like, punching the ground. He's like, what the. What have I done? And just, like, screaming and crying. And then the Next day, he's like, okay, well, I'm done with that. But they're not gonna let me go, so I gotta disappear. I gotta figure out a way out of here. And he's like, planning. He's like, I can't. Just can't do that anymore. But. But, like, the only way. All right, you gotta get me out through a back way and I'll just, like, disappear and not let them find me as long as I can.

[Will Compton]

No way.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Yeah. It's wild. It's wild. You just see everything clearly. It just scrubs you from the inside. The way salvia made you dirty. This made you clean.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, Sally did make me. So.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

After it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You just scrubbed on the inside.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

I want to do it again.

[Taylor Lewan]

You really have done it.

[Will Compton]

He has done it all.

[Ari Shaffir]

Except the Beer Olympics.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

What a fool I am.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. Beer limits in a case race. The two most basic frat things you can do.

[Ari Shaffir]

You guys do Edward 40 hands, right?

[Taylor Lewan]

I've done it before. Okay.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

What's the ever 40 hands?

[Ari Shaffir]

You guys gotta go on Legion of Skanks next time you're in New York.

[Will Compton]

Legion of Skanks.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a podcast. I'm the president of it. Shane's the vice president.

[Taylor Lewan]

Oh.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. It's not our podcast. We ran. We ran for control of their podcast. Yeah, yeah. And the final was like, they tried to dose me with acid and I, like, Shane tipped me off, and then. So I just pretended to drink for a while and then swapped it with one of the guys on the podcast.

[Will Compton]

Nice.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And then, yeah, they thought they owned me. Like, I doch. I was acting all hot guy the whole time. And he's like, we. You. We got you on acid. I was like, what? And he's like, we, you. We totally dose you with acid. I was like, did you, though? Oh, like, do I sound like I'm an asset anymore? And he was like, wait, what? And I was like, I knew your plan. He goes, so where's the. I saw you drinking. I was like, no, I swapped with Jay. And Jay's like, wait, what? He was like a bystander, but he was closest to me, so. Sorry. Sorry. Not sorry.

[Taylor Lewan]

You want us to go on a show that tried to drug you?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yes. Yeah, yeah. You guys have a great trade. But they do added 40 hands sometimes. And it would be. You would.

[Will Compton]

We gotta make sure they're just doing it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta see. You gotta see them pop them.

[Taylor Lewan]

Gotta make sure they pop it.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. And no, like, Syringe marks.

[Taylor Lewan]

Nuts. You would be an elite addition to beer Olympics. You would have so much fun.

[Ari Shaffir]

I would have fun. I would. Like, even if I failed, I would go down talking.

[Taylor Lewan]

You probably will fail.

[Ari Shaffir]

Fail, right. See, that's not the kind of attitude I want. I want more support.

[Taylor Lewan]

But does it get you a little more like, I gotta be fired up. Yeah, that's a little bit right.

[Will Compton]

Who you want as your partner.

[Ari Shaffir]

I mean, Shane or Bert would be the best, but they're not.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's another reason why they're too big. They're not good.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're not good.

[Will Compton]

Yeah, they're really not.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, because he's not athletic.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Maybe Colin Tyrell, he can. He can take it down. I'm trying to think who. Who would be good at beers?

[Taylor Lewan]

Because Shane can drink beer. But he's not like the game secret homosexual people.

[Ari Shaffir]

He can't. Has no coordination. Like a pansy of something.

[Will Compton]

Right, right. And then he'll just make fun of it. Like he's too cool to be too cool for it.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right? Yeah, exactly.

[Ari Shaffir]

These games, these childish games. He always says like that. Oh, black people. I need a black guy.

[Will Compton]

We had Waka Flocka there last year. This past year, how were they? A great time. I think Walker just went off.

[Ari Shaffir]

What is it? Rage cage. Flip cup.

[Taylor Lewan]

What's rage?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, what is rage cage?

[Ari Shaffir]

You have to. You got a cup and you gotta like, bounce up. What? It's like, stack up, stack up. You got to bounce it. I call that chandelier into theirs. And you keep trying to get into the one next to you. As soon as you get it in, they have to take it and then put it. But if two get into your.

[Will Compton]

Two ping pongs get into your drink. Chandelier.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, chandelier is two cups opposite side. And you're bouncing a ping pong ball. If you miss on the first try, once you get it, you have to move it to your left. If you get on the first try, you can move it wherever you want. There's a big stack of. With booze in it. And once you stack a cup on another cup.

[Will Compton]

Cup.

[Taylor Lewan]

You have to take cup for that's. Fill a beer, drink it, and you start bouncing. Wow, that is a. That's a great social game. That's a. You're in Cabo. Hey, let's get the Morning Star right away. Let's get after it. Mango that care we come.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, all you need is a little like piece of wood or something.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, that's all you need a table. Let's yeah, you do it on this. Yeah, it'd be a little too small.

[Ari Shaffir]

But yeah, flip up's pretty good.

[Taylor Lewan]

And it's great too, because one person will have a cup that's just like a regular cup, but then someone will have a stack that's like this high at the end. You're like bouncing, like trying to try.

[Ari Shaffir]

To get it up there and move.

[Taylor Lewan]

It all around down. Yeah, a lot of fun. But the games we did last year were three. Three beer chug and then it was ping beer pong. Flip cup and beer ball and then.

[Will Compton]

Different corner and you try to throw your. Yeah, throw the ping pong ball and hit it. The minute you hit it on the other team, we get to start chugging. They have to deliver. They have to go get the ping pong ball and deliver it and touch it to the table. And then that's when your partner has to stop shutting.

[Ari Shaffir]

Cup.

[Taylor Lewan]

The goal is to finish your beer.

[Ari Shaffir]

Right?

[Taylor Lewan]

That's.

[Ari Shaffir]

You don't play any card games? You don't play anything like that? No.

[Taylor Lewan]

Like King's cup or. Yeah. Or was it suicide cup or what it's called?

[Ari Shaffir]

That's not Olympics.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's not.

[Ari Shaffir]

It's a fun hangout. Yeah. That's Olympic village.

[Taylor Lewan]

And the thing too is, like before the games, like if you're gonna go. If you go to a three beer chug, like you don't want to, the first beer you drink to be that you want to, you got to lube the esophagus a little bit. So you have to have a couple warm up beers like it's a. Oh, interesting.

[Ari Shaffir]

You don't want to go fast right away.

[Taylor Lewan]

No, no, no. Yeah, if you go fast right away, I feel like it always slows you down. Oh, yeah, you're going for time on the chugs. Yeah, that's beer ball right there.

[Ari Shaffir]

Wow.

[Taylor Lewan]

Big cat.

[Ari Shaffir]

God, this seems fun.

[Taylor Lewan]

There's your boy.

[Will Compton]

We'll get you. We got to get you to push your backpack.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, yeah, I keep coming with reasons to push. This is one of them.

[Will Compton]

Should we hit him with the twisted question?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, let's do a twisted question.

[Ari Shaffir]

Let's do a twisted. Sponsored by twisted Tea.

[Will Compton]

Sponsored by twisted Tea.

[Taylor Lewan]

Let me pop this little boy up real quick if we can find it. I have 17 Kevin's Natural Foods over here.

[Sherman]

I got it right here on the screen for you.

[Taylor Lewan]

All right, well, I can't read that. Go ahead. Will.

[Will Compton]

Twisted tea is a refreshing, hard iced tea made with real brewed tea and 5% alcohol, full of flavor and very refreshing. It goes down smooth because there is zero carbonation, which makes it easy to drink all day long. Twisted tea feels fun and celebrates extreme fandom on game day and is the perfect alcohol or beverage for game day. Whether tailgating, watching at a bar, watching with friends at home, Twisted tea is there to turn up your game day. Keep it twisted with the boys and grab a refreshing twisted tea today. Ari, wait.

[Ari Shaffir]

I have a question for you. How does lack of carbonation help you enjoy it all day long?

[Taylor Lewan]

Bubbly, smooth, easy to drink.

[Will Compton]

You want to get their fast.

[Ari Shaffir]

Bubbly is harder in the morning.

[Taylor Lewan]

Bubbly's hard in the morning. It could be harder at night.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yep, I'll allow it.

[Taylor Lewan]

All right, good.

[Will Compton]

Which do you believe in more? Okay, Ghosts or aliens? And why?

[Ari Shaffir]

I think aliens. Okay, it's an obvious one because they could be real with science. And ghosts is, like, supernatural, but could be. Although I have talked to the dead.

[Taylor Lewan]

Well, let's.

[Ari Shaffir]

The only one question was like, do you mind if I piss on this grave? And then they didn't answer back, so I just pissed.

[Taylor Lewan]

As blasphemous.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, yeah.

[Will Compton]

Just no lime with Ari. All right, all right, bet.

[Taylor Lewan]

No answer.

[Ari Shaffir]

Pull a finger out, if you mind.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Nope. Okay, then I put a stone on there and let's go.

[Taylor Lewan]

What? When did you start to ghost?

[Ari Shaffir]

What? I never really. Oh, all right, all right, all right.

[Will Compton]

What are those people called? A medium.

[Taylor Lewan]

Psychic mediums. There's. Yeah, there's people that, like, investigate the paranormal.

[Ari Shaffir]

You guys believe in ghost. What about dog mediums? What about those people taking that kind of money?

[Taylor Lewan]

That's crazy. That's pretty.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're willing to part with it.

[Taylor Lewan]

Disrespectful. I mean, there's new technology coming out that, like, is going to be able to translate your dog into, like, saying words to you. Allegedly. I saw that on Instagram. I don't know if it's true or not.

[Will Compton]

I believe in ghosts. I can see that just because in my head, like, if we went down to New Orleans and did that, like, that little ghost tour, whatever, a lot of ghosts in New Orleans, like, I'd be terrified. You know what I mean? Like, if I'm gonna sit there. No, I don't believe in ghosts. And that means I can pretty much feel like I can walk anywhere and not. Not have any fear. I would have a lot of fear going into these paranormal. These paranormal places.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah, I do.

[Will Compton]

In the movies. They make like. Like, they keep me up at night.

[Ari Shaffir]

Ghost movies?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, Paranormal activity.

[Ari Shaffir]

I'm always like, why do they get more powerful as the movie goes on? You should just be it. You just start murdering people right away.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's like Freddy Krueger. Fear energizes you. The more you know about them, the more they're allowed to do that gives them. That gives them energy Cooking right now.

[Ari Shaffir]

I know. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

I do believe in ghosts. I do believe in aliens.

[Ari Shaffir]

You believe in both, I think.

[Will Compton]

Aliens. That's. That's pretty proven at this point. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

I think Tom DeLonge did it. Right. He called it belongs that are right.

[Ari Shaffir]

They're out there.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

I mean Rogan has these people on that talk about they've. They've. Didn't he just have somebody on recently? I was talking about whether it be Area 51 or something. They call him like a certain blue. Like blue. Do you guys know what I'm talking about?

[J.P.]

Bob Lazar.

[Ari Shaffir]

Bob Lazar. Maybe him.

[Will Compton]

I don't know.

[Taylor Lewan]

He had somebody on. I. I've done ghost hunting before.

[Ari Shaffir]

Y.

[Taylor Lewan]

And it scared the out of me. I did it in New Orleans.

[Ari Shaffir]

What do you mean?

[Taylor Lewan]

So we did. My wife and I, when we first went to. We went to New Orleans. We first met and there was interesting story right here. There is. It was like a house, but behind the house was an old like slaves quarters.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Ghosts on the slave is so real.

[Taylor Lewan]

I know. And so they're like, hey, we do like ghost like ghost investigations this many nights a year. Blah, blah, blah. So like because there was so much energy fed into it of like investigating it, there's a lot of activity always going on. So it was like meet here at 10:30 in this dark alleyway. Blah, blah, blah. So we go and meet there. It's like the most band of misfits people you could ever see. Like dyed hair over the eyes, like the dicky pants, the misfit T shirts, all those kinds of people. And then me and my wife, yeah, we go in with. They sit us down and they're. They're going over like different experiences and ghosts that they've had around in. In these quarters. And like there is one inhuman entity here. But if you guys don't want to know about it, it won't affect you if you don't want to. Does anybody want to know about the inhuman entity? I raised my hand.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

And so feel like looks around.

[Taylor Lewan]

I'm like, yeah, I want to know what else going. I want to know what this is.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

My wife, for whatever reason we went to go sit down. They kind of like I sat in one area. She Sat in the other. She sees across the room.

[Ari Shaffir]

She's like, no, it separated you.

[Taylor Lewan]

I put my hand down, and there's like, three areas. There was the basement, There was the attic, and then the. The middle floor. We started in the basement, and we were like, like, coupled with this group that was either a lesbian couple or a mom and daughter or two sisters. I really didn't know. I didn't get their backstory, but we're sitting on this bed, and my wife's like, yo, why are you asking about inhuman? I was like, because it's like, isn't that what a spirit is? She's like, do you know what inhuman means? I was like, no. She's like. I was like, isn't that, like, inhuman? Like, in a human. They're like, no, that's a demon. Inhuman is a demonic entity. And I was like, oh, for real? And the minute I started talking about that, a meter starts going off, and one of those things, and then it stops. And then we start having more conversation about other things. And Taylor was like, that's my wife, Taylor. She's like, it's really weird that when we start talking about the. The inhuman entity, a meter started, and then the meter starts going off. So my wife starts asking it questions. The two ladies we're with are starting to freak out, and she's like, are you like. There was like a bunch of names they gave us Rachel, so. And so whatever. A bunch of names. Are you this person? That person? No. And it would never make a meter or make the meter move at all. And then finally, she was like, is this the entity? And the meter starts going, beep. It was like tails. Like, he looks at me like, this is your problem, but it's coming home.

[Ari Shaffir]

If it's in you.

[Taylor Lewan]

I am, right. I'm actually sweating right now. I am in this attic with three people around me, talking to the darkness, being like, I'm sorry. I don't want anything to do with this. Please leave me alone. Blah, blah. And it's like, Then my wife is like, do you like this person? No answer. Do you like that person? No answer. Or do you. Do you not like. And then she goes, do you not like Taylor? And then goes, b. It starts doing. I was like, we gotta get the out of here, man.

[Ari Shaffir]

What? No, he's trying to with you. When he goes, he's trying to with your man.

[Will Compton]

She slowly looks over at Taylor, and then right there, Taylor gets picked up and thrown again.

[Ari Shaffir]

Cuz we've all had, right?

[Taylor Lewan]

You're always at Your friend's house or, like, at your house if you have a basement, you, like, walk up the stairs at night when you're going to bed and, like, party. Feels like maybe something's behind me. So you, like, sprint up the stairs a little bit. Like, there's always that fear of what could be in the darkness.

[Ari Shaffir]

Not ghost. Some kind of, like.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah, no, I always think of something, like, I see so many paranormal birth defects.

[Will Compton]

Demonic.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. With radiation, maybe.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. But, yeah, that's. That was my experience. And I. From that day, I was like, I for sure believe in ghosts, for sure. And if it can be debunked, please let me know.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. You can't prove no ghosts, so you're on the.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right. But another thing about ghosts is there's been so many deaths on this Earth. Like, millions and billions of deaths.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Why aren't there more experiences for people? Because I'm sure where we're standing right.

[Ari Shaffir]

Now, the planet would be covered in ghosts.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right?

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Right. So why is there a select few. This Illuminati of ghosts, that a lot.

[Ari Shaffir]

Of people finish off something in their life, like, get some revenge or something. They're here to, like.

[Taylor Lewan]

It's a weird thought, though.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Anyway.

[Ari Shaffir]

Hey, let me ask you guys a question.

[Taylor Lewan]

Go ahead.

[Ari Shaffir]

Can I piss?

[Taylor Lewan]

Go ahead.

[Will Compton]

Dude, we got to pee. We. I have to piss, too.

[Taylor Lewan]

Let's take a quick break.

[Ari Shaffir]

Can we take a break?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, we could be done. We could also wrap it up. This has been a great.

[Taylor Lewan]

Let's wrap it up, dude.

[Will Compton]

It's been an awesome pod.

[Taylor Lewan]

Have you enjoyed yourself?

[Ari Shaffir]

I have enjoyed myself.

[Taylor Lewan]

That's all that matters.

[Will Compton]

It's been fun.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just sitting here, like, think about, like, beer games, for sure. My life. And then. Yeah, lots. This is fun.

[Will Compton]

It's been fun. We have to sit here and, like, interview somebody. Like, hey.

[Ari Shaffir]

Oh, is that what you normally do? Do you get bad ones where you're like, sometimes not.

[Taylor Lewan]

Not all. Actually, more times than not. It's not that way. But a lot of times you have to, like, go to the sheet that Sherman puts together, like, scroll up a little bit, like, that's all the information.

[Ari Shaffir]

In case the conversation goes dry.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. It's like, we don't know where we're going. Okay. Hey, so you went to Maryland.

[Ari Shaffir]

You had to. That helps. That helps. No one ever asked me how University of Maryland was.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Or do they tell you, happy birthday, right?

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

You prepared for Trump?

[Will Compton]

Yeah, that's. That's one where you get, like, you know, you're just nervous because you're about to sit with a potential sitting president. Yes.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. A former.

[Will Compton]

Yeah. A former president that was in the race, but also, like, say.

[Ari Shaffir]

And you know, he could take you.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Just by going like this.

[Ari Shaffir]

Yeah.

[Will Compton]

Then if you get like a buttoned up athlete where, you know, they haven't been on a whole lot of, like, maybe you get a quarterback that you know is going to be a little. That might be a little.

[Ari Shaffir]

I've got an athlete. I've gotten some on mine where it's like, you talk to them beforehand, you're getting coffee, it's great. And then they're just like, like, oh, bro, show yourself.

[Will Compton]

They feel like the GM sitting there watching.

[Ari Shaffir]

You can open up. You don't do the Bull Durham. Like.

[Taylor Lewan]

Yeah. You got to help the team.

[Ari Shaffir]

Just say it.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Ari Shaffir]

Who gives a. Yeah. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

No, but this has been awesome, man.

[Ari Shaffir]

Thank you.

[Taylor Lewan]

We do appreciate it, man.

[Ari Shaffir]

All right, guys. Yeah.

[Will Compton]

And we're getting you to beer Olympics.

[Ari Shaffir]

All right. I'm paying off your high school.

[Will Compton]

Yeah.

[Taylor Lewan]

Sa.