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Hey, friend, welcome back to Call Her Creator. Powered by your all in One Creator Store, Stan. Stan is the easiest way for you to make money online. All of your courses, digital products and bookings are hosted within your link in Bio. If you're ready to start your free trial, visit my show notes and click my affiliate link to get started today. You know, it's wild. We live in a world that worships productivity but punishes peace, satisfaction. Somewhere along the way, busy became this badge of honor and rest became this dirty word, especially for women. We were raised to be helpers, multitaskers, caretakers, achievers. The glue that holds it all together. We're told to build the business, raise the kids, support our family, keep up with friendships, stay fit, look polished, keep a clean house, and somehow make it all look effortless on Instagram and on the surface. We're doing it, guys. We're checking those boxes. We're showing up for everyone. We're doing what successful women are supposed to do. But underneath all of that, so many of us are exhausted. We're overwhelmed. We're feeling like we're constantly running behind, even when everything looks fine on paper. If you've ever had that quiet moment, maybe you're in your car, maybe you're in the shower, like I typically am, where you just think, I can't keep doing it like this. I cannot keep running myself like this. Then this episode is for you. Now, before we get into it, quick pause, because I have to just talk to you guys about Stan. It's my all in one creator tool that lets you sell digital products, host challenges, automate your business, all from your link and bio. If you've ever bought something from me, you've gone through the Stan process. It was super duper easy. It's how I power my entire digital business. Every course, every sale, every funnel. And if you're ready to start simplifying your own systems and scaling smarter, you can start your free trial today through the link in my show notes. All right, let's talk about the hustle Hangover. This is what I have been going over. I've had, like, the longest hangover. It's like the last, gosh, three months I've been hanging over. And we're going to talk about what it really means to rest when the world keeps telling you to run. And that it doesn't, does not mean you're giving up. It doesn't mean you're lazy. It just means that you're recharging and you're being a better version of yourself. And that is exactly what I am stepping into right now. I'm actually wearing a little bracelet that me and my daughter made for me. It's called My Peaceful Era. I'm in my peaceful era. Whether that's with business, friendships, family, whatever it might be. Like, no one's gonna break my peace. I am responsible for my peace. And that's what this bracelet reminds me of. Peaceful era. Choose peace. Stop being crazy exhausted all the time. Stop being mentally exhausted all the time. Stop saying yes to everything and just be so. I've realized that burnout rarely hits you all at once. It just keeps creeping in quietly. It'll start out as, oh, I'll just push through this week. Let me get to next week, or let me just slow down after this launch, or I just got to get this many followers, and then I'll be okay. But before you know it, that busy season has become your entire identity. And that is what I've been doing for the last four and a half years, almost five years now, with this business. I love my business, and I will tell you, I have hustled my booty off for this business. But I know that if I want to scale or really, like, blow this thing up the way that I want to blow it up, I can't keep working that way. So if you're one of those people that wakes up, grabs your phone, scrolls through your to do list before your feet even hit the ground, that was me. You move through the day on autopilot. You've got meetings, emails, posts, reels, pickups, dinner, and then you finally sit down at night, and you're just like, oh, my God, my mind will not turn off. That is called the hustle hangover. It's when your body is tired, probably exhausted, but your mind is addicted to that momentum. For women, too, like entrepreneurs, creators, moms, it's not just the exhaustion. It's that emotional weight of trying to be everything to everyone. That constant feeling that if you stop, if you rest, the whole thing's just gonna fall apart. The business, your family, your clients, the algorithm, all of that. Like, I realized I was running through all of this. I built my business out of scarcity because I was scared if I didn't keep up with the momentum, I would lose it all. And that's not the way that we need to build our businesses. It's not sustainable. If the success you're building is draining the person who's building it, it's not sustainable success. I remember at one point sitting at my desk with a full Client roster, agencies running the podcast, growing. And, like, I want to celebrate, but I just feel, like, numb. Like, why do I feel so heavy? And then I realized I wasn't even chasing my goals anymore. I was really chasing relief. And that's a really dangerous place to live, especially as a business owner. If you want to continue succeeding, you can't get to that point. You've got to be able to identify it before you get there, before you burn it all down. So let's talk about why rest feels so hard, why it feels so uncomfortable. We live in a culture that glamorizes the grind. And I know, you know, a lot of us have jumped on the bandwagon, like, peace over hustle, or how, like, hustle is super toxic. And, like, we share all those things. But then behind the scenes, we're still doing the things, the grind that's glamorizing the grind. And I just feel like a lot of us wear that burnout almost like a trophy. Like, oh, I'm busy. Like, oh, my. My calendar's so packed. Oh, I have something going on every weekend. And deep down, maybe that exhaustion feels like we are doing enough. And for women, even more so. I feel like it's super complicated for us because from the time we are born and little girls were praised for being good, for being helpful, for being selfless, for being emotional. And we learn to measure our worth by how useful we are. Like, oh, if she can have kids. Oh, you can't have kids. Something's wrong with you. Oh, you're having miscarriages. By the way, I've had more than one pregnancy loss, so I'm. I'm not knocking one. Thankfully have two beautiful children now. But it's like, I remember those points in my life, those low valleys when I was like, oh, I'm not good enough to. To carry a child. Like, little things like that. And then when business comes, it's like, oh, I'm not. I'm not strong enough to have a seven figure business, an eight figure business. Oh, I'm not smart enough to talk to this male client who knows more than me. But that's just us women feeling like we're not enough. And it's not okay to feel like that. So as adults, we keep performing, even in rest. We turn self care into a checklist, or we meditate because it's productive, or we read personal development books so we can work harder on ourselves. We go on vacation. We're still checking those DMs. We've confused recovery with another form of work. At the end of the day, that's what we're doing. We have. We're. We're using the recovery phase as another form of work. We're not resting, we're not recovering. We're just trucking along. And for entrepreneurs, even more so. I feel like that's amplified because the business never stops. Like, for the agency, we're. I'm planning on giving the girls a week off during Christmas time. And I'm really excited. Like, it looks so good on paper, but for me, like, no, the business isn't gonna stop. If I don't get an invoice paid that week, you think I'm just gonna stop? Or if a client's post doesn't go live that day when it was supposed to, you think I just can ignore them? Like, no. Like, it never stops. Especially when you're the boss of the business. It never stops. So most of us just. We don't get that actual rest. We just pause productivity long enough to feel guilty about it. And you know that feeling when you, like, finally sit down and you just. All of a sudden, you're thinking of 10 things you should be doing? Like, you feel like you're doing something bad, because that's me. I feel guilty when I sit down on the couch. So I'll, like, I'll. I'll turn a. Something on the TV or I'll play a podcast to where at least I'm still learning while I'm sitting. Or I'll get laundry out and I'll start folding it. I won't just sit, sit and rest. That's not because I have a lack of discipline. It's because my nervous system is just stuck in this go mode. Like, rest isn't a choice. It's a physiological shift. And when you've lived in fight or flight for too long, peace can feel unsafe. Like, oh, I'm not supposed to be here. This uncharted territory. That's why slowing down for me feels so foreign. And your body, if you were in fight or flight all the time, your bottle, your body literally doesn't trust it yet. And this could go back to deep, deep childhood, too. Like, if you grew up in a space where you were fight or flight or walking on eggshells like you were emotionally unregulated by your surroundings, that will follow you through adulthood until you work through it. And I've been through therapy and all of that stuff, and I am so good at, like, praying and mindset and all that stuff, and I still struggle with this. My Body still doesn't feel safe sometimes when I'm in a peaceful setting or being at home doing nothing. So don't be hard on yourself if you're like, I've done all the things and I still feel this way. I do too, sister. But there maybe that just means there's more work to be done. I don't know. There's an identity trap though, for sure. Here's something that I've learned too. Burnout isn't always about overworking. Sometimes it's just like over identifying. So when your sense of worth is tied to being the one who always shows up, or the one who always checks in on someone, or, you know, rest feels like failure. When you've built a business on being reliable, responsive, the go to friend, the go to girl, the go to sister. Taking a step back from all of that feels like you're letting people down. But if your peace depends on everyone else being okay, you're never really gonna feel okay. For me, you know, I've had wake up calls. I've had a lot of wake up calls this year and some I've heard one. Someone said something before that if you don't learn the lesson the first time, God's just gonna keep giving you those lessons. So I can just tell. You know, God keeps showing me it keeps showing up in my own life where he's telling me that I don't need to be there for everyone else. I need to be there for myself first. But like little things, like there's nights where I'll stare at my phone but I don't have the energy to post anything. And I know that if I don't post, I'm losing out on engagement and reach on Instagram, but I just can't. And there's mornings where I've woken up so anxious to where I can't get out of bed and come to the office. I'll text the girls up here and I'll be like, hey guys, I'm not coming in today. I'm working from home because I just feel so anxious and heavy. And then earlier in the year, I woke up a few times and my eyelids were super puffy red, itchy, and my whole body was itching and I was having some kind of allergic reaction. Still don't know what that is. I'm still working through all this stuff. Ended up learning that I had Hashimoto's, my body's inflamed, I'm working on my health that way. But all of this led to really huge resentment towards my business. I felt like it was my business's fault because I loved it so much, but it was accidentally becoming my entire identity. And anything that happens with the business would stress me the frick out. So it finally hit me that I had built freedom for everyone else. My clients, my audience, my family. But not for myself. And if you've ever felt that, I want you to hear this. You can't outsource your piece. You cannot outsource your piece. It all comes from within. You can delegate those tasks, you can hire help, but the feeling has to come from you deciding to value the rest as much as results. And I am the biggest delegator. I delegate our groceries to Instacart. I have someone shop for me and deliver our groceries. I delegate our house cleaning. I delegate social media management clients to my team. I delegate everything that I can. But it's true. I can't delegate my own anxiety or peace. Like, I have to. I have to do that. I have to rest to recharge my body. So what does rest actually look like when you are someone who is very driven? Because if you're anything like me, you're not wired to just do nothing. It's not okay for you to just do nothing. But rest doesn't have to mean doing nothing. It just means doing something that restores you. So I really want you guys to think about this. That little sentence right there blew my freaking mind. Rest doesn't have to mean doing nothing. It means doing something that restores you to, like, turning that whole verbiage around there. For me, rest looks like margin. It's giving myself permission to not fill every single gap with more. So, like, I plan every single thing on my Google calendar and it's pretty filled. And there was times when I was just taking calls. Taking calls, checking emails. Oh, yep. I got a little tiny crunch right here. I'll slate you in right there. Not anymore. I can't. I cannot keep working that way. So. So now I try to not fill every single gap. And I try to use those. Those gaps for other things like my physical health or my creative health or my digital health. So examples here, like, say, like, physical rest. What does that look like? Maybe it's taking a nap. Maybe it's skipping Pilates that day. Maybe it's going on a walk. Maybe it's closing my laptop early. It's not five o', clock, but I'm gonna close it a little bit early today for creativity. That might mean letting myself just brainstorm, design, be creative, but not have the pressure to actually post it and then, you know, wait on everybody's opinion on my post. Maybe it's turning my phone on, do not disturb. Or maybe I'm just putting my phone in the other room for the day. And then for that emotional rest, which has been really important for me. It's just saying no. It's letting someone else handle stuff. This has been a big one for me in the last 60 days. I was always the yes girl on the team. Like, oh, can you sit on this call with me? Absolutely. Sure. Hey, can you reach out to so and so? Sure. Now I push it back on the girls. I'm like, no, I can't, I have something. Or hey, no, I actually can't do that. Can you go ahead and do that? And I'm working so hard on that. And I've, I've found, I've found myself feeling more peaceful by doing that. I am, I'm, I guess I am a control freak a little bit. I'm really not. But I guess with my business I am because I've worked so hard for it. But I've realized like, if I want to sustain this energy that I'm putting into my business, I cannot be there for every freaking thing. And it goes back to my corporate job too, too. Like, I worked for, you know, two really great CEOs and were they on every check in call with me with a client? Absolutely not. I had to handle all that stuff on my own. If I had a problem, I didn't get to talk to the CEOs, I had to go through my manager. And so I've put Darby, you know, in charge of managing the team now. And I try my best to just let her do her thing and not step in when I don't need to. But I want you to go through the chain of commands before a problem gets to me because I don't have the mental capacity to do all that. So the mindset shift that changed a lot for me was this. Rest is not what you do after you've earned it. It's what allows you to keep going without losing yourself. When you rest, you're not falling behind. You're actually just recalibrating your body, your mental load, your physical load. You're reminding your nervous system that it's safe to slow down. You're choosing to sustain versus survive. And I feel like that is true leadership when you are choosing to sustain over survive. I think your team's going to appreciate that in the long run. You know, your family too, like Family, friends, business, whatever it is, if you're choosing sustainability, that means you're holding on to that. You want it for the long run versus just that, emotional survival. Now let's bring this into your business for a minute. If you're running a business that can't function unless you're constantly online, you don't have a business, you have a burnout machine. And that's why systems matter. So it's why I'm obsessed with simplifying things for creators, entrepreneurs. Because freedom is built through structure, structure, structure, structure. Freedom is built through that. It's built through you having systems and structure in place. And that's why I created Social Media School and Club Influence. If you're brand new to this space, if you're just starting your business, trying to figure out how to grow an audience and make money online, you should start with Social Media School because it's the full roadmap for creating content that actually converts. And it'll help you stop guessing, stop spinning your wheels, and finally get consistent with results. Because you're learning from the ground up with Social Media School. And it's my first online school, I poured a lot of heart and soul to it and I'm hoping that it gives people the structure and system they need to build a sustainable business online. Now, if you're already established, you've already built your business, it's something amazing, you're proud of it, but you're just tired of spending hours keeping up with trends. That's where our Club Influence membership comes in. Every week, my team and I give you viral real ideas, canva templates, trending audios, captions that you can plug and play with. It's truly a plug and play marketing machine that saves you time and keeps you relevant without burning you out. Because when your business is built on systems, not stress, then you have that room to breathe. And that's what we want. We want you to breathe in. You don't need to do more to scale your business. You just need to simplify everything. And the right structure will let you rest without that regret. So I wanna leave you with a few reframes that changed my relationship when it came to rest. So these are practical reframing of the mind when it comes to resting. So I've got. How many do I have here? Five. I wrote down five of them. So the first one is. This is what you're gonna reframe. Okay. So old way of thinking, I'll rest when I'm done. Rest helps me get it done. Your best Ideas rarely come from burnout. They come from breathing space. And that's why I do my money walks. Because I'm able to just breathe, relax and walk. And that's typically when my best ideas come, is when I'm resting, walking. I know that sounds counterintuitive, but my walks are my mental rest. The next one, I don't have time to rest. That's not true. I don't have time not to rest. Because rest isn't optional. It's strategic. It protects your longevity. The next one is rest makes me lazy. Which girlfriend? No, no, no, no, no. Rest actually makes you creative. The most creative people you know, artists, writers, singers, entrepreneurs, they understand the value of being still. That's where their magic brews. The next one is if I stop, everything will fall apart. I love this one. And I've actually written this one down in a notebook. If I stop, I might finally come back to myself. And that is so true. The world does not collapse when you rest. It often just gets clearer for you. And the last one, I need to earn peace. No, you do not. Peace should actually be your baseline. You don't have to prove your worth through your exhaustion. You already are enough. And if you're listening right now to all of this thinking, okay, but what if I just can't slow down? Then start small. Five minutes of your day being still. Maybe go on a walk without your phone or go a weekend without posting anything. I did that. Which was really nice. All I did for that to keep going. I know this again, I don't want to be counterintuitive to you guys, but what I did was I pre planned and scheduled stuff so that I could just take the weekend off from posting. And it was a really good mental break for me. Rest is not a destination. It's going to be a daily practice for you to remember that you matter outside of what you produce so that you're not finding your entire identity through work. Now, one thing I can tell you is that ambitious women will always feel the pull to do more. Just. It's in our bones, guys. But peace doesn't mean giving up your goals. It just means that you're going to find a way to pursue them without losing yourself. So if you're in a season of exhaustion, this is your permission to slow down, take the nap, take the walk, skip the meeting, breathe. The next version of you isn't built by pushing harder. She's built by coming home to yourself. And if this episode resonated with you, I really, really hope you'll consider joining me inside of Club Influence where we take that stress off your plate so you can show up online with more peace and less pressure. Because we're going to give you everything you need on a weekly basis. We're going to give you at least I think we had done a study and I think the average person that joined Club Influence was able to save three to four hours a week on content creation. So what would you do with an extra three to four hours? That's a movie, a walk and maybe dinner. Like love that success isn't about doing it all is about building a business that gives you your time, your peace and your life back. I'm so grateful you listened today. And if this episode gave you something to think about, send it to a friend who's been running on empty. Rest isn't just for us. It's a movement that we have to start together. Until next time, remember this. You don't have to hustle to be worthy. You just have to be human. If you like this episode, I hope you'll leave me a five star review on Apple or Spotify and I will see you next week. Thank you so much.