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Hey, friends. Welcome back to Call Her Creator. Today's episode is a little different. We're not talking about algorithms and Instagram updates. We're actually talking about something way more important. We're talking about the tension so many of us ambitious women live in every single day. Wanting to build this badass successful business, but also wanting to be a present mom and wife. Or maybe you're not even building a business. Maybe you're working for someone else, but you're really freaking good at it. And you like working. You are wanting to chase big dreams, but you're also not wanting to miss those little moments. You're wanting to make a lot of money without losing yourself, your health, or your family along the way. That's me. If you've ever felt like you're constantly being pulled between those two versions of yourself, this episode is for you. And I'm about to get real honest with all y'. All. Okay, now, before we get into today's episode, have to give you a quick note. Stan is giving away another hundred thousand dollars. Okay. And this time, all you have to do is post to Instagram. Seriously? You join the Dare to Post challenge and you post for 30 days. All right, I'm going to link this sign up page in my show notes. The challenge starts February 17, and if you don't sign up by then, you can't participate. So you have to sign up, like right now and lock on your spot. Anyone who competes the challenge guys gets to share that $100,000. So you best believe I'm going to be doing that challenge on Call Her Creator. I don't think I can be a part of it since Stan produces my podcast, but I encourage you guys to sign up to do it. The last time I did a 30 day post challenge on Call Her Creator, I grew my account over 200 followers. So it does work. This is it. This is how you grow. By joining a challenge, by having accountability, by having people do it with you. So sign up today, Dare to post linked in my show notes. All right, all right, so let me take you back. Okay, we're gonna go back to last summer. From the outside, everything looks incredible, right? My business was on fire. I'm booking speaking engagement. After speaking engagement, I'm making the money. My leads are flowing in. My agency's growing so fast we had to hire extra help. We were going nuts. My membership was thriving. On paper, everything looked like I was living the dream. And in a lot of ways I was like, that's all I ever wanted, right, Was to build my dream business and make money and do what I want. But what you didn't see behind the scenes was this. I was a mad woman. I was stressed, I was overwhelmed. I had to make too many decisions. I was constantly on my phone, never stopped. It was glued to my hand. My brain never shut off. I was answering emails right when I woke up, right when I went to bed. On the weekends, at dance practice, at school, pickup during dinner. Like, I was hustling so hard and I kind of thought like, this is just how it is. This is how you're an entrepreneur. This is how you run a business. This is how you be successful. And I kept telling myself, you're just in a season, girl. You're just in a season. Just get through this. Just get through it. Just get to the next week. It'll slow down. No, it doesn't, it doesn't. It really takes one moment for you to wake up and realize like, okay, this isn't okay. So for me, that was me sitting at my son's baseball game. He was up to bat and I was in the stands and I was scrolling my phone, stressing about posting a reel on time and I missed him running through home plate. Now imagine your 10 year old son was running up to you, super duper excited and say, mom, did you see that I scored? Did you see me? And I had to lie to him in his face. I said, yeah, baby, I saw you. Woo. But I didn't see him. I was there physically, but mentally I did not see him. I was somewhere else. And so in that moment, in that exact moment, I felt like throwing up because I realized I was building this big, beautiful business for what? For my family. You want to say you're building this business for your family, but you're missing a moment like that. And right then and there, like, I knew in my heart I couldn't keep doing life like that. We got home that night, I'm telling you, I boohoo. Cried in the shower, tears. My husband was actually annoyed with me. He's like, why are you acting like that? I'm like, you don't understand what it feels like to be running like this, working like this and missing something. Like, that. He's like, yeah, you gotta put your phone down every now and then, Caitlin. I'm like, but you don't understand. Like, if I don't post this real what? Caitlin, if you don't post this real what? He's right. Like, if I don't post this real what, what? So I admitted to Beckham, I told him the truth, that I had missed it. And then I was so sorry. Cause he was, like, distraught seeing me cry. And I never want to put my emotions on my children, by the way. My parents did that when I was little. And I don't think we should ever put our big emotions on children. They do not have the capacity to hold those big emotions. So I was very annoyed at myself for that too. But I told him, I was like, hey, buddy, I missed it. I lied to you. I was too busy on my phone. And he, like, he looked disappointed and sad. I said, but let me promise you something. I will never do that again. I looked him straight in the eyes. I said, I will never do that again. And I hugged him really tight. And it's been seven months since then, and I have kept my promise. And it feels very good. Like my children are the most important thing to me. And no business, no money will ever change that, ever, ever, ever. I made a decision. From that moment on, I can still be an ambitious woman, and I can chase my big goals and I can build that wealth, but I will not sacrifice being a present mom to do it. So after that day, I started leaning into what people online were calling, like, the soft girl era. And I actually thought soft girl meant, like, you were weak and that you didn't work, basically that you were lazy, but it's actually the complete opposite. So I looked at soft girl era as calm, intentional, not living in constant chaos. Doesn't that sound inviting? So I end up. I look up, what does soft girl era mean? And get on chatgpt. The soft girl era is a mindset shift away from hustle culture and toward a calmer life. Instead of grinding, overworking, proving yourself, constantly being stressed, wearing burnout like a badge of honor, you choose peace. Please, Lord, set me up. Presence, yes. Boundaries, okay. Slow growth. Okay. I mean, slow growth. I like growing fast, but okay. Intentional living. Okay. I can do with that. Enjoying your life while you build it. I'm pausing here for a sec because I'm wondering, with you hearing me say that, what are your thoughts around soft girl era? You see, it doesn't mean, like. It doesn't mean quit your goals. It doesn't mean you're lazy. It doesn't mean you give up. Doesn't mean you shrink yourself. It just means that you can be ambitious without destroying your nervous system. Now, for moms and ambitious women business owners, this can look like closing your laptop on time, saying no to things that drain you, choosing systems over constant stress, not answering emails at 10pm, being present with your kids, putting your phone down, reading that book, looking them in the eye when they tell you a story, building a business that supports your life instead of consuming it. Because that's what was happening to me. My life was being consumed by my ambition. The core belief behind Soft Girl Era is that you don't have to suffer to be successful. You don't have to be overwhelmed to be productive. You don't have to be exhausted to feel worthy. My Soft Girl Era started the day that I realized this missing moments with my kids wasn't worth any amount of business success to me. And that's exactly what this era is about. Soft Girl Era equals choosing calm over chaos while still chasing your dreams. So I am. I think I'm obsessive compulsive because after that I started obsessing about Soft Girl Era and I bought all these books and I listened to all these podcasts and I read all the things about slowing down and boundaries and about building life. If any of you were following Call Her Creator on Instagram before the summer and you kept following me, you probably have seen my content completely change over there, because I have changed. And I'm hoping most of you will come with me on this journey because I'm still that go getter, but I've just calmed it down a little bit to be the go getter that also has a life. That is the main. That is the main, like, whole big deal behind Call Her Creator. I want you to build and create a life that you love and do it without killing yourself, without hustle culture, without pain and chaos and feeling bad and regret. We want to create something that we love and we're proud of, and we want to create something that our children will be proud of us for and not be like, oh, no, mom missed it because she was working. So one message that I read that I kept reading over and over, your kids don't care about how much money you make. This one was hard for me because my mom and dad were normal, you know, Joe Schmoes. My mom was a teacher. My dad owned a business, but we weren't millionaires. So it's like, yeah, you can say that. But like anyone who, who has had money or had things given to them, they can easily say your kids don't care about how much money you make. But guess what? When your parents are making money, they can take you to do all these things and make these amazing memories with you. I don't know, it's different for someone that's never experienced it. I had the best of both worlds because my grandparents were well off. We'd still get to do all the fun things but. Love you mom and dad. But it wasn't you guys that were taking me to the Keys and you know, doing all those big trips. I remember going to Hilton Head, my aunt, super duper amazing Aunt Jan, they're well off and they. We had this huge beach house that I would get to go to with my grandparents. So I don't know off topic, but what I guess what I'm trying to say is like those are the biggest memories I have in my head were those big extravagant trips, you know, I don't really remember, like sitting at home and doing nothing. So I think, I don't know, there's something in me that hustles really hard and makes this money because I want to make my kids childhood so extraordinary. But your kids don't care about how much money you make. They really care if you're there. So last July, August, sometime around there, I intentionally started slowing myself down. You know, there was times where I'd ask myself, how can I still make money, still help people, still grow my brand without having to be on 24 7? And that's when I launched Social Media Sales School, which is a really amazing course by the way, that I still have for sale. I haven't launched. I need to relaunch it. Like when you launch courses, you kind of have to be in launch mode all the, all the time. If you want to really make money off of it, it's there. I haven't launched, relaunched it in a while, but it basically tells you how to build a business using social media and how to tell your story through content and all that jazz. It's a really good course, but I created it because I still wanted to make a huge impact on women and teach what I know and create that income without me having to be on my phone all day long and glued to it. You know what I mean? That was the first step in me redesigning my life to fit my life instead of forcing my life to fit my business. And then life gave me another reminder. My health started getting worse. I have Hashimoto's which is an autoimmune thyroid condition. And the stress and constant hustle is absolutely horrific for my body. It does not help Hashimoto's at all. So my body was basically at the end of last year, it's like, hey girls, slow down or we're gonna slow you down. I was getting, I had psoriasis pop up. I was literally tired all the time. I'm still struggling with this. By the way, I'm seeing a functional doctor. We just increased my thyroid meds with my OBGYN Sunday, just this last Sunday. I was in bed all day. I did not move. My angel of a husband cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids. I, I, my body had to recover. So I'm still in this, this health thing. So a part of my wake up call with my son, I also had my literal health saying, hey, slow down. I knew then that I didn't just want to slow down, but I had to. And since all of this, I've completely changed how I work and how I live. So today I want to tell you this story, but I also want to give you real practical ways that you can do this too. Because I know so many of you are in the same place right now. Now you want both. You want to build something meaningful, but you also want to be present for the people who matter most to you. And here's what I've learned. You don't have to choose, you just have to build a little bit differently. So I'm going to walk you through some practical things that you can start doing today to be a present mom and still run a successful business or still be a very good businesswoman. Like, you don't even have to own a business to do this. This is just how we're going to balance motherhood and work, right?