← Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
126. Soft Girl Era: 10 Changes I Made to Be a Present Mom and Still Grow My Business
00:24:40
Loading summary
Transcript4 lines
- [00:02]
A
This episode is sponsored by Brevo and Collective. Brevo helps you grow smarter with email, SMS automations, and AI powered marketing tools. And Collective keeps your business tax ready all year so tax season doesn't feel so overwhelming. Get started with brevo@brevo.com Creator and save on collective@collective.com CHC.
- [00:26]
B
Hey, friends. Welcome back to Call Her Creator. Today's episode is a little different. We're not talking about algorithms and Instagram updates. We're actually talking about something way more important. We're talking about the tension so many of us ambitious women live in every single day. Wanting to build this badass successful business, but also wanting to be a present mom and wife. Or maybe you're not even building a business. Maybe you're working for someone else, but you're really freaking good at it. And you like working. You are wanting to chase big dreams, but you're also not wanting to miss those little moments. You're wanting to make a lot of money without losing yourself, your health, or your family along the way. That's me. If you've ever felt like you're constantly being pulled between those two versions of yourself, this episode is for you. And I'm about to get real honest with all y'. All. Okay, now, before we get into today's episode, have to give you a quick note. Stan is giving away another hundred thousand dollars. Okay. And this time, all you have to do is post to Instagram. Seriously? You join the Dare to Post challenge and you post for 30 days. All right, I'm going to link this sign up page in my show notes. The challenge starts February 17, and if you don't sign up by then, you can't participate. So you have to sign up, like right now and lock on your spot. Anyone who competes the challenge guys gets to share that $100,000. So you best believe I'm going to be doing that challenge on Call Her Creator. I don't think I can be a part of it since Stan produces my podcast, but I encourage you guys to sign up to do it. The last time I did a 30 day post challenge on Call Her Creator, I grew my account over 200 followers. So it does work. This is it. This is how you grow. By joining a challenge, by having accountability, by having people do it with you. So sign up today, Dare to post linked in my show notes. All right, all right, so let me take you back. Okay, we're gonna go back to last summer. From the outside, everything looks incredible, right? My business was on fire. I'm booking speaking engagement. After speaking engagement, I'm making the money. My leads are flowing in. My agency's growing so fast we had to hire extra help. We were going nuts. My membership was thriving. On paper, everything looked like I was living the dream. And in a lot of ways I was like, that's all I ever wanted, right, Was to build my dream business and make money and do what I want. But what you didn't see behind the scenes was this. I was a mad woman. I was stressed, I was overwhelmed. I had to make too many decisions. I was constantly on my phone, never stopped. It was glued to my hand. My brain never shut off. I was answering emails right when I woke up, right when I went to bed. On the weekends, at dance practice, at school, pickup during dinner. Like, I was hustling so hard and I kind of thought like, this is just how it is. This is how you're an entrepreneur. This is how you run a business. This is how you be successful. And I kept telling myself, you're just in a season, girl. You're just in a season. Just get through this. Just get through it. Just get to the next week. It'll slow down. No, it doesn't, it doesn't. It really takes one moment for you to wake up and realize like, okay, this isn't okay. So for me, that was me sitting at my son's baseball game. He was up to bat and I was in the stands and I was scrolling my phone, stressing about posting a reel on time and I missed him running through home plate. Now imagine your 10 year old son was running up to you, super duper excited and say, mom, did you see that I scored? Did you see me? And I had to lie to him in his face. I said, yeah, baby, I saw you. Woo. But I didn't see him. I was there physically, but mentally I did not see him. I was somewhere else. And so in that moment, in that exact moment, I felt like throwing up because I realized I was building this big, beautiful business for what? For my family. You want to say you're building this business for your family, but you're missing a moment like that. And right then and there, like, I knew in my heart I couldn't keep doing life like that. We got home that night, I'm telling you, I boohoo. Cried in the shower, tears. My husband was actually annoyed with me. He's like, why are you acting like that? I'm like, you don't understand what it feels like to be running like this, working like this and missing something. Like, that. He's like, yeah, you gotta put your phone down every now and then, Caitlin. I'm like, but you don't understand. Like, if I don't post this real what? Caitlin, if you don't post this real what? He's right. Like, if I don't post this real what, what? So I admitted to Beckham, I told him the truth, that I had missed it. And then I was so sorry. Cause he was, like, distraught seeing me cry. And I never want to put my emotions on my children, by the way. My parents did that when I was little. And I don't think we should ever put our big emotions on children. They do not have the capacity to hold those big emotions. So I was very annoyed at myself for that too. But I told him, I was like, hey, buddy, I missed it. I lied to you. I was too busy on my phone. And he, like, he looked disappointed and sad. I said, but let me promise you something. I will never do that again. I looked him straight in the eyes. I said, I will never do that again. And I hugged him really tight. And it's been seven months since then, and I have kept my promise. And it feels very good. Like my children are the most important thing to me. And no business, no money will ever change that, ever, ever, ever. I made a decision. From that moment on, I can still be an ambitious woman, and I can chase my big goals and I can build that wealth, but I will not sacrifice being a present mom to do it. So after that day, I started leaning into what people online were calling, like, the soft girl era. And I actually thought soft girl meant, like, you were weak and that you didn't work, basically that you were lazy, but it's actually the complete opposite. So I looked at soft girl era as calm, intentional, not living in constant chaos. Doesn't that sound inviting? So I end up. I look up, what does soft girl era mean? And get on chatgpt. The soft girl era is a mindset shift away from hustle culture and toward a calmer life. Instead of grinding, overworking, proving yourself, constantly being stressed, wearing burnout like a badge of honor, you choose peace. Please, Lord, set me up. Presence, yes. Boundaries, okay. Slow growth. Okay. I mean, slow growth. I like growing fast, but okay. Intentional living. Okay. I can do with that. Enjoying your life while you build it. I'm pausing here for a sec because I'm wondering, with you hearing me say that, what are your thoughts around soft girl era? You see, it doesn't mean, like. It doesn't mean quit your goals. It doesn't mean you're lazy. It doesn't mean you give up. Doesn't mean you shrink yourself. It just means that you can be ambitious without destroying your nervous system. Now, for moms and ambitious women business owners, this can look like closing your laptop on time, saying no to things that drain you, choosing systems over constant stress, not answering emails at 10pm, being present with your kids, putting your phone down, reading that book, looking them in the eye when they tell you a story, building a business that supports your life instead of consuming it. Because that's what was happening to me. My life was being consumed by my ambition. The core belief behind Soft Girl Era is that you don't have to suffer to be successful. You don't have to be overwhelmed to be productive. You don't have to be exhausted to feel worthy. My Soft Girl Era started the day that I realized this missing moments with my kids wasn't worth any amount of business success to me. And that's exactly what this era is about. Soft Girl Era equals choosing calm over chaos while still chasing your dreams. So I am. I think I'm obsessive compulsive because after that I started obsessing about Soft Girl Era and I bought all these books and I listened to all these podcasts and I read all the things about slowing down and boundaries and about building life. If any of you were following Call Her Creator on Instagram before the summer and you kept following me, you probably have seen my content completely change over there, because I have changed. And I'm hoping most of you will come with me on this journey because I'm still that go getter, but I've just calmed it down a little bit to be the go getter that also has a life. That is the main. That is the main, like, whole big deal behind Call Her Creator. I want you to build and create a life that you love and do it without killing yourself, without hustle culture, without pain and chaos and feeling bad and regret. We want to create something that we love and we're proud of, and we want to create something that our children will be proud of us for and not be like, oh, no, mom missed it because she was working. So one message that I read that I kept reading over and over, your kids don't care about how much money you make. This one was hard for me because my mom and dad were normal, you know, Joe Schmoes. My mom was a teacher. My dad owned a business, but we weren't millionaires. So it's like, yeah, you can say that. But like anyone who, who has had money or had things given to them, they can easily say your kids don't care about how much money you make. But guess what? When your parents are making money, they can take you to do all these things and make these amazing memories with you. I don't know, it's different for someone that's never experienced it. I had the best of both worlds because my grandparents were well off. We'd still get to do all the fun things but. Love you mom and dad. But it wasn't you guys that were taking me to the Keys and you know, doing all those big trips. I remember going to Hilton Head, my aunt, super duper amazing Aunt Jan, they're well off and they. We had this huge beach house that I would get to go to with my grandparents. So I don't know off topic, but what I guess what I'm trying to say is like those are the biggest memories I have in my head were those big extravagant trips, you know, I don't really remember, like sitting at home and doing nothing. So I think, I don't know, there's something in me that hustles really hard and makes this money because I want to make my kids childhood so extraordinary. But your kids don't care about how much money you make. They really care if you're there. So last July, August, sometime around there, I intentionally started slowing myself down. You know, there was times where I'd ask myself, how can I still make money, still help people, still grow my brand without having to be on 24 7? And that's when I launched Social Media Sales School, which is a really amazing course by the way, that I still have for sale. I haven't launched. I need to relaunch it. Like when you launch courses, you kind of have to be in launch mode all the, all the time. If you want to really make money off of it, it's there. I haven't launched, relaunched it in a while, but it basically tells you how to build a business using social media and how to tell your story through content and all that jazz. It's a really good course, but I created it because I still wanted to make a huge impact on women and teach what I know and create that income without me having to be on my phone all day long and glued to it. You know what I mean? That was the first step in me redesigning my life to fit my life instead of forcing my life to fit my business. And then life gave me another reminder. My health started getting worse. I have Hashimoto's which is an autoimmune thyroid condition. And the stress and constant hustle is absolutely horrific for my body. It does not help Hashimoto's at all. So my body was basically at the end of last year, it's like, hey girls, slow down or we're gonna slow you down. I was getting, I had psoriasis pop up. I was literally tired all the time. I'm still struggling with this. By the way, I'm seeing a functional doctor. We just increased my thyroid meds with my OBGYN Sunday, just this last Sunday. I was in bed all day. I did not move. My angel of a husband cooked, cleaned, took care of the kids. I, I, my body had to recover. So I'm still in this, this health thing. So a part of my wake up call with my son, I also had my literal health saying, hey, slow down. I knew then that I didn't just want to slow down, but I had to. And since all of this, I've completely changed how I work and how I live. So today I want to tell you this story, but I also want to give you real practical ways that you can do this too. Because I know so many of you are in the same place right now. Now you want both. You want to build something meaningful, but you also want to be present for the people who matter most to you. And here's what I've learned. You don't have to choose, you just have to build a little bit differently. So I'm going to walk you through some practical things that you can start doing today to be a present mom and still run a successful business or still be a very good businesswoman. Like, you don't even have to own a business to do this. This is just how we're going to balance motherhood and work, right?
- [15:17]
A
Are you ready to take your business's marketing to the next level? Meet Brevo, the all in one marketing and CRM platform built to help you connect with customers, boost engagement, and grow your business smarter. With Brevo, you can manage all your customer interactions in one place, nurture leads with their built in CRM, reach your audience through email and SMS, and keep them coming back with powerful automations. But here's where it gets really exciting. Meet Aura, Brevo's AI assistant. Aura helps you craft smarter campaigns by suggesting personalized content, optimizing send times, and even analyzing performance data to help you improve your strategy in real time. It's like having a marketing expert on your team 24, 7. And of course, Brevo offers advanced analytics, seamless integrations and AI driven personalization. Everything you need to create multi channel campaigns that hit the mark every time. Get started for free today or use code CREATOR50 to save 50% on starter and standard plans for the first three months of an annual subscription. Just head to www.brevo.com creator and take your marketing further with Brevo and Aura. Tax season is right around the corner and if you're already dreading it, you're not alone. I used to get so stressed around this time of year, but Kollective has made it so much easier and way less overwhelming. Kollective keeps your business tax ready all year long, from capturing every deduction and keeping your books clean to quarterly tax estimates and professionally prepared tax filings. They handle the back office so you don't have to. It's truly an all in one financial solution that turns tax season from a panic into peace. And right now Collective is giving my listeners 50 off your first two months when you go to collective.comchc that's 50% off your first two months at collective.comchc Again, collective.comchc.
- [17:22]
B
So probably the most important point I have here is to make access to you super duper harder, right? One of the biggest shifts I made was that access to me is no longer easy. I do not text after hours. I do not take random calls. They leave me a voicemail if it's super important, but if I don't know the number, I'm not answering it. And I don't respond to emails at night. Just because someone wants your attention doesn't mean they have to get it immediately. Your time is super power. It's super valuable and you have to protect it. And you also have to go through chain of commands. Like I have employees. If one of our clients is having a struggle with their social media or something that they need made, they can go through their social media manager before it gets to me because I have so much else I'm I'm juggling with. That is their job to take care of them, which also brings in delegation. I used to think I had to handle everything myself, but now if a client asks me for something, I'm going to say, can my team handle this first? And if the answer is yes, I'm not going to touch it. I'm going to push it back on my social media manager. I'm going to ask them to take it. Because you don't have to be the first line of defense in your business. You don't that's why you pay employees. Next tip for you is to use that calendar on your phone like a friggin CEO. If it's not on my Google calendar, it doesn't exist to me. School events, work blocks, money walks, family time, meditation, yoga appointments. I plan my life so intentionally now instead of reacting to it. Eric's mom asked us for lunch the other day. I'm like, can you send me a calendar invite? She's like, I don't wanna overbook. I don't wanna, like if. If I know I have to do lunch, I don't wanna have something that's right up to that lunch date and right after. So we send calendar invites. She laughed at me, but she gets it. Saying no more than you say yes. This one's huge because I always say yes. Always say yes. It can cost me a lot of money and I'll say yes. I just did this yesterday and I'm still working on this. But there's also times when I say no. And I'm so like I said, I'm really working on this. But I recently had someone reach out to me for a local speaking opportunity, but it was unpaid. It didn't align with my goal, so I had to say no. And guess what? That person got upset with me. Super dismissive. Not very nice in the email. But that's okay. Every yes, though, to something small like that is a no to something bigger or it's a no to something more valuable. So you have to say no more than you say yes. You also need to get very crystal clear on what your actual goals are. I had to ask myself, what. What do you actually want, Caitlin? Not what sounds impressive, not what everybody else is doing, not what looks good online, but what life do you want to live? Why are you working this hard? To be honest with y', all, and I'm gonna say this out loud, my goal is to make millions and millions of dollars. Yes, that's my goal. But I will not destroy my health or my family. To get there doesn't mean that much to me. That's my goal. But my people and my health are my number one. So now my goals kind of change. It's like, okay, my. My actual goals are freedom, flexibility, peace, presence. Not just millions of dollars. I also want to stress as business owners build offers that don't require you 24 7. Maybe it's a digital course. Maybe it's a digital product like an ebook or a PDF guide, or maybe you start a membership. There are ways to create money that don't Depend on you constantly being there with your time and your energy and that's how you scale without burning out. I was able to add a hundred thousand dollars to my business. It's probably been two years now that I started this by launching a digital product. Stan store made that super easy for me by the way. And I'll link my stand store in the show notes. You'll get 14 day trial if you want to try it. But if you have, you know, if you're really, really, really good at something, sell your trade secrets, sell your brain. Sell a coaching call. Well, that's not going to help you with time. Actually, don't sell a coaching call. Put all of your stuff on into a PDF or make a membership. Sell that baby. Set working hours too and stick to them. 9 to 5 girl, or 10 to 4 or whatever you want to work, I don't care. Treat your business like a job. There's a start time, there's an end time. When I'm off, I'm off. Your business has to fit inside of your life and not consume it. And I'm still struggling with this one. I'll be honest with you, I am still creating reels at 9pm But I'm going to work on this one. This is going to be what I work on for February. Setting my hours and sticking to them. Simplify Growth doesn't always mean you have to do more. Sometimes it just means doing less but better. Maybe you upsell some of your clients, maybe you offer fewer offers, maybe you make fewer commitments, but you charge more. That's a big one. I'm working on this this year. And lastly, remember why you started. Because at the end of the day you gotta ask yourself, am I building a business that supports my or stealing time from them? And let that guide your decisions. Here's what I want you to hear from this episode. You are allowed to want both. You are allowed to want a big life and a slow life, a thriving business and a peaceful home. Ambition is not what makes you a bad mom. Being present with your children, that doesn't make you less ambitious. It really just means that you're learning to build your dreams in a healthier way. Okay, Lynn, I want that. I need that reset. I need to rethink how I'm doing life and business. Guess what? I created something just for you, sister. If you guys haven't heard about my six week reinvention challenge, it's literally just like a podcast series on call her creator. You can go back and listen to it. I'll link it in the show notes as well. It's a free six week challenge that is going to help you slow down. It's going to help you get clear. It's going to help you rebuild your goals in a way that actually fits your life. It's an easy listen. There's three parts to it, but it's going to slow your booty down and it's going to make you realize what's most important to you. I can promise you, you don't need another productivity hack. You just need to give yourself permission to reinvent how you're doing it all. And I would love to help you do that. Thank you so much for hanging out with me today. Go hug on your babies. Close that laptop on time today. And remember that you don't have to choose between success and presence. You can actually have both. All right, I will see you guys next week.