← Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
155. Stop Letting Rejection Shrink Your Confidence: Do This Instead
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This episode is sponsored by Shopify, Homeserve, Fora Travel, and Fanview. Shopify. Starting a business sounds exciting until you're actually in it. The website, the products, the emails, it's a lot. That's why I love Shopify. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand's style. And Homeserve. Owning a home is amazing until something breaks. And it's never anything small. It's always those expensive, worst timing situations. That's why I love the idea of home Homeserve. It's like a subscription for your home, helping cover those unexpected repairs. And plans start at just 4.99amonth. And Fora Travel, are you the one who always plans the trips, hotels, itineraries, all of it? You're basically already a travel advisor. You're just not getting paid yet. With Fora, you can change that. From building your business to protecting your home, to even getting paid to plan your next trip. These are the tools that make it all easier. And Fanview, if you've ever thought, wait, how are creators actually making online? This one's for you. Fan View helps creators monetize their content and start building income online, even without a huge audience. Check out fanview.com if you're curious. Welcome back to Call Her Creator, the podcast where we talk about building the life, the business confidence, and the freedom that you actually want, not just the version that looks cute on Instagram. I'm your host, Kaitlyn Rhodes, and today's episode is a good one because we're talking about something that I think many women struggle with, and that is drumroll. Confidence. So buckle up because I'm about to be your biggest cheerleader, your confidence bestie, and I'm going to suit you up to take over the freaking world. And this is not just like a oh, you got to believe in yourself episode. No, this is not a stand in front of the mirror and say these affirmations until you feel powerful episode. Nope. I'm talking about real confidence. The kind that helps you send that scary direct message to that person that you want to send it to. Or pitch yourself for the opportunity, launch that offer, raise your rates, post the reel, walk into the room, ask the follow up question, Say what you actually think. Say no. Say yes. Say, hey, can I ask you something? Because if I'm being really honest with you guys, I used to think that confident people were just built that way. Like maybe they literally came out of the womb and they were bold and I would just always Be this little wee wee shy girl who never actually asked for what she wanted. Like, truly. I remember in high school watching people and thinking, like, well, maybe they're just naturally wired to ask for what they want. Maybe they're just born with that confidence inside of them while the rest of us just sat there hiding. And if you're laughing right now because you've literally done the same thing, you've thought the same way, you're not alone. But something has shifted in me. And I can genuinely say this one mindset shift has changed my entire life. And it's changed how I show up in business, it's changed how I show up in relationships, it's changed how I show up online, and it's changed how I pursue opportunities in business. And the mindset is actually stupidly simple. Like, almost annoyingly simple. So if you've been here for a while, you may have heard me talk about it before, but we're going to get really nitty gritty about this mindset shift that you seriously can leave this conversation running towards what you want. Like, exactly what you want with a cherry on top. You are going to feel that confidence to ask for it. So a couple of weeks ago, I started leaning in to what I call the oh, well theory. And before you roll your eyes, because that sounds way too simple to be life changing, I want you to hear me out on this because this might be one of the most freeing things that you ever hear. Confidence is not. They said yes. To me. Confidence is more. Well, I asked. And that's it. That's the shift. That is the whole thing. And I know that sounds like really basic, but stay with me here, because I think so many of us women have built this confidence into this giant, complicated, intimidating thing that we all want to have. And we think that confidence means, like, not being nervous about things or not caring about what people think, or never doubting yourself or always knowing what to say. Like walking into every room feeling like your Beyonce. And listen, if Beyonce wants to come on this podcast, my DMs are open, honey. But truly, that's not what confidence is. Confidence is not the absence of fear. Confidence is not certainty. It's not, I know this is going to work. It's just being willing to survive that discomfort of uncertainty. And that's the difference there. And once I started to understand that, everything really changed for me. And I hope you are listening and you're thinking, oh, my gosh, that makes so much sense. Because I realized I had been making rejection mean something catastrophic, like if someone told me no, it was the end of the world. If someone didn't respond to me, if I asked for something and I got ignored, if I launched something and nobody bought for me, I made that mean something about me, that I wasn't ready, that I wasn't good enough, that I look stupid now, that I should have waited, that other women could do this. But maybe I just can't do that. And thinking that way will keep you small forever. Because the thing is, when you make rejection mean something so deeply personal, you stop asking. And then if you stop asking, you stop growing and you stop expanding and you stop getting in rooms that you belong in and you stop being seen and you stop creating that momentum for yourself. And I think for a lot of women, especially us ambitious women, especially women who are high capacity, very capable, very. I can handle it. All this starts very young in us because a lot of us were taught that we needed to be likable before we were taught to be bold. Right? Make sure you listen, follow the rules. Instead of like, hey, be bold, stand up for yourself. And that's how I'm teaching my daughter to live, by the way. Like, she's going to be the one that can communicate her feelings. She's going to be the one. She'll be nice, but she's also not going to get ran over by people. I'm not raising her to be agreeable. I'm raising her to stand up for herself and be bold. You will never hear me tell her, don't be too much. Don't ask for too much. I actually tell her all the time, like, she's only six. She's about to turn six, but she'll come home. And she's already at the age where she compares herself to others. And I have to remind her, like, hey, we're not doing that. We're gonna. We're not gonna compare what color we got on to so and so in your class. Like, be proud of what you got. Make sure the teacher knows who you are. Make sure the teacher knows what your heart is. Make sure you do. You know, make. Do nice things for people, but don't get ran over either. Stand up for yourself. Don't abandon yourself. Self abandonment is also something I talk about here on the podcast. I'll have to find the episode for that one, but that's something we don't think about either. Like, when you are putting everyone else ahead of you, you are abandoning your own feelings and your own self. So back to the story of us being little girls. When we grow up, we start wondering and asking for these opportunities and. And they almost feel physically painful for us to ask because somewhere along the way we learned that taking up space was not the right thing to do, that it was risky. But if I'm being honest with you, confidence was not something that a lot of us naturally have. Myself, I did not have natural confidence as a young girl. Not even close. I did not grow up as the girl who just thought she deserved the room. I did not grow up assuming people would say yes to me. And in fact I. I'm still fighting through this now as an adult, I hate asking for help because I was always so terrified to ask. So I didn't grow up with this effortless self belief. Mine was built, and I'm still continuing to build. Has been built through being very uncomfortable. It has been built through heartbreak. It has been built through proving to myself that I can actually survive and get to the other side of things. It's been built through asking. Anyways, I always tell you guys, for the cookie, you might be told no, but that's okay. Be able to sit in the no and move on. Oh well. That's where the oh well theory comes in. I hear no all the time. I am ignored all the time. So many dms, I send in so many cookies. I asked for so many embarrassing moments. But it's built through figuring out that rejection will never actually kill you. And I think that's what people miss when they look at confident women. They assume that she must be super fearless. She must have a lot of confidence. No, that's not it. She's just gotten really, really good at recovering. That's it. That's all that confidence is. It's good at recovering after the no. She's gotten faster at recovering from disappointment. She's gotten faster at not making rejection her identity. She's gotten faster at saying, oh well. And I want to tell you something with this. Some of the biggest opportunities in my life did not come because I was the smartest person in the room and someone just found me. It did not come from being the most polished, the most qualified, the most prettiest, the most ready. They actually came from my willingness to ask or my willingness to ask the second question. And that distinction really, really matters. And I need you guys all to know that most successful people that you line are asking the question and they're not afraid to go for it. Because sometimes confidence isn't about cold pitching your way into this giant opportunity, but it's. It's looking like recognizing that there's an opening there and then having the courage to go for it and to expand on it. So let me explain. So what I'm going to talk to you guys about is there's been a moment where I was recognized. Cool. But I took it a little bit step further. I expanded because I asked for the cookie. So last week, I actually got invited to the Million Dollar Personal Brand Workshop in New York City. And this is going to be a really amazing event. I leave next week. Incredible women in the lineup. People that I've always wanted to meet in the lineup. Jen Gottlieb. I cannot wait to meet her. Jacqueline Johnson. They're gonna be speaking Powerhouse Room. And so I got the invitation in my email, and I was like, holy crap, I'm definitely going to this. But I knew that this would. This is not a story, like, about me creating something from nothing, because I did get an invitation. But here's where it gets interesting. The old version of me would have treated that invitation like the finish line. Like, yep, got invited. I'm going to be in the room. Yay. Good to go. Let's go. Let's do this. Let me go to this event. Let me enjoy myself and then be done. Right. The new version of me, though, I thought about, okay, how can I make this work out for me? I'm already having to leave my family, which I absolutely hate. If you know anything about me, like, you might see me traveling a lot and getting all these amazing opportunities, but it's actually painful for me to leave my two children and my husband. So I got this invitation, and I thought to myself, what else is possible here for me where how can I push the limits just a little bit and get a little bit more out of this to make it worth me leaving my family? And that's such a different mindset for women to have. Because confidence isn't always creating opportunities from scratch. Sometimes the confidence is maximizing the opportunities that are already sitting in front of you. So instead of just taking that invitation and being okay with it and shrinking from it, I expanded. I offered my value, and I positioned myself and I asked questions. And I ended up getting into the VIP dinner that night with women I genuinely wanted proximity to. And that's what matters. That's what's going to make this whole, you know, travel even better for me. More opportunities, more doors will be open for me getting in proximity with these women. But it's because I asked. Some of you out. There are waiting for a giant door to swing open for you. But sometimes Your next level is hidden behind the follow up ask. Sometimes the confidence move is literally, hey, is there any way I could be considered for this? Hey, I'd love to support xyz. Would that be possible? Hey, question, is there room for one more? Hey, would you be open to that's confidence. Not because they said yes, because listen, I've done this plenty of times where I'm told no or hey, sorry, it's just too late, or hey, we already got somebody, totally fine, but at least I asked. And the more you ask, the more you work out that muscle of confidence so that when you do get a no, it's just like, okay, thank you so much. And I'm getting to that point too, where it's like, I've been told so many times, it's like, okay, thanks, onto the next one. But then there's other times when I do ask and I get the yes. And then I'm like, oh my God, yes, I did it because I asked. And that's the difference. Some of the best things in my life have happened because I got comfortable being mildly embarrassed. And can we just normalize that for a second? Like, truly. Because if your ego needs to stay perfectly protected all the time, you are going to miss out on a lot of opportunities. I promise you that you will. Growth requires moments where you feel a little exposed, a little awkward, a little uncertain. Last night I sent a DM because I'm going to be in Newport beach in July. And I'm thinking, how can I make this opportunity work for me even better? So I sent the. I sent the message. I haven't heard back yet. It was very awkward. I'm very uncertain. If your nervous system interprets that as danger, I promise you, you'll retreat. Okay, if you're someone who wants to make money online as a creator, listen up. I know a lot of people. They assume you need a massive following or some fancy setup or years of experience before you can actually start earning online. And that's just not true. Fanview is a platform that helps creators monetize their content, connect directly with their audience, and build reoccurring income doing what they're really good at creating. And what I actually like about this is how simple it is. You create content around your niche, you upload it, you build your audience and start creating income from it. Whether you're into lifestyle, fitness, business, education, literally, whatever. It's built to be beginner friendly. So if you've been sitting here thinking, could I actually do something like this? The answer is positively yes. If you want help getting started, Fanview has a creator academy that walks you through the whole thing step by step. And if you're ready to start your own creator journey and see what's possible, head over to fanview.com and get started. Okay. Real life moment. There is nothing more humbling than owning a home and realizing, oh, I'm responsible for everything. Like, when something breaks, there's no landlord to call. It's just you, Google, and a potential $2,000 problem staring you in the face. And you never know what it's going to be. It could be a water heater going out or a burst pipe. It's always unexpected and it's always expensive. And the worst part, a lot of those things, the plumbing issues, the H vac breakdowns, they're not always covered by your standard homeowner's insurance. That's where HomeServe comes in. They offer plans that help protect against those kinds of repairs, starting at just 499amonth. So instead of scrambling to find someone last minute, you can call their 24.7hotline and get connected with a local, experienced technician. It's super simple. You just choose a plan that fits your needs and your budget. And if something on your plane goes wrong, you just call to start the repair process. And honestly, that is a peace of mind for me. If I needed something like this, HomeServe is what I would use. HomeServe has been helping homeowners for over 20 years with a network of 2,600 local, experienced contractors and over 4.5 million customers. So if you want to help protect your home systems and your wallet from covered repairs, go to homeserve.com, find a plan that's right for you. That's homeserve.com not available everywhere. Most plans range between 4.99 to $11.99 a month. Your first year terms apply. Uncovered repairs. But what if instead of having to, like, be worried about it and stress over what are they going to say, you just learn that theory? Oh, well, if they tell me no. Oh, well, at least I asked. And that's what I want you guys to get out of this conversation today is, oh, well, at least xyz. So let's get into the real life stuff, because I think this is where confidence starts making sense. It's one thing for me to sit here and just say, hey. Just say, oh, well. And you're like, cool, Caitlin, thanks. But my nervous system would actually like to pass away if I sent that email. I get it. I Do. Because that's not about pretending. Rejection doesn't sting, because it. It does. I still get nervous. I still overthink things. I still have moments where I draft something up and stare at it. And then I think, who exactly do you think you are? But let's be so for real, that thought still shows up. The difference, though now is that it doesn't get the final say in my story. That's what's changed. And one of the biggest mindset shifts for me has been realizing big people are just people. I know that sounds so obvious, but stay with me here, because I think so many of us, we put successful people on this weird, imaginary. Imaginary pedestal. Like, they're operating in a different universe than us. They're more special than us. And the moment you do that, you actually shrink yourself a lot. You assume, she's too busy for me. He won't respond. She won't respond. They'll think I'm weird. I'm not important enough. Wait, I need to be a little bit bigger first before I ask for that. Or I need more followers before I ask for that. Or I need more proof first. But meanwhile, while you're over there thinking that confident people are out there just sending the message, not because they know it's gonna work and that they know they're gonna get a yes, but because they're okay if it doesn't. And that's the entire shift here. Oh, well, I was literally thinking about this with a certain someone. I'm not gonna reveal it. Cause this is where my embarrassment comes out. Cause I might get a no. But I went ahead and I reached out to somebody. They're a OG I'm going to be in the same spot as them next month. And so this person's a very brilliant marketer, phenomenal communicator, has built an incredible brand. And so I had this moment where I thought, hmm, what if I just asked her if she'd have a conversation with me? Or what if I just reach out and say, hey, I'll be in California at the same time? Any chance you'd be open to connecting? Let me ask you something. Have you ever had an idea for a business but you immediately thought, what if nobody buys? Or what if I don't know what I'm doing? Doing? Because I've been there. When I started my business, I didn't have a full team. I didn't have the perfect systems in place. I just had an idea and the willingness to figure it out as I went. And honestly, having a platform like Shopify would have made that process so much easier. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and literally powers 10% of all E commerce in the US so whether you're just getting started or scaling, it grows with you. You can build a beautiful online store with their ready to use templates, use built in AI tools to write product descript content, and even run email and social campaigns all in one place. And one of my favorite parts, that shop pay button. It makes checkout so seamless, which means fewer abandoned carts and more actual sales. So if you've been sitting on an idea or you're ready to take your business seriously, it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.comchc that's shopify.comchc okay, I have a question for you. Are you friend who plans everything when it comes to trips? Like you're comparing hotels, finding the best spots, building the itinerary, and everyone else just shows up. If that's you, you've probably already thought like a travel advisor. You just haven't been paid for it yet. And that's exactly what Fora is built for. Fora is a modern travel agency for people who love planning travel and want to turn that into real income. They give you everything you need. The training, the booking tools, and a full community of advisors so you're not figuring it out alone. And what I love is how simple it actually is. As a Fora advisor, you to over 7,000 travel partners, everything from luxury hotels to boutique stays. And you can offer your clients perks like upgrades, resort credits, and late checkout things most people don't even know how to access. And every time you book a trip, you earn commission. So if you're already the one planning the trips anyways, this is one of those why am I not doing this moment? Now's the time to turn your love for travel into something that actually pays you back. Become a Fora advisor today@foratravel.com CHC that's F O R A travel.com CHC and make sure you tell them that we sent you. And immediately the brain does kick in. Oh my gosh, do not be annoying. Oh my gosh, don't send her that. Oh my God. She probably gets that all the time. She's busy. What if she ignores you? What if it's embarrassing? Okay. And truly. And what actually happens if she says no? Nothing. Literally nothing. My life will still remain the same My kids will still need snacks. My bills will still exist. The sun. The sun will still rise. Nothing catastrophic is going to happen if she tells me no. But if I don't ask, then the answer is automatically no. And that's what I want you to understand. You are pre rejecting yourself every single day. And then you're wondering why confident women seem to get all these opportunities. It's because they're in motion. Not because they have this magical certainty, but it's because they're moving and grooving and they're asking. They're making the ask. And let's talk business. Because this one, I think one of the biggest confidence test as a woman is asking for what you're actually worth. Nothing is going to humble you faster than sending a rate that you increase and immediately wanting to throw your phone into the ocean. Should I have quoted them a little less? Did I sound crazy? Are they laughing? Should I send a follow up? Should I apologize for existing? Why are we like this as women? And yes, I say we because I know you have done something like this, too. There was absolutely a version of me that would have taken the first offer simply because I was afraid the opportunity would disappear. And that's the same with raising my rates. We got a lead who's worked with us in the past. We were highly undercharging, and now we're at a point where we charge more. And so sent her back a proposal. The rate is significantly more than what she used to pay us. And I did feel a little bit weird sending the email and I did worry about, well, what if she says no? But I sent it anyways. There was an email I got yesterday for a collab opportunity with a brand. They wanted a lot inside of this brand collab, a lot perpetuity, which means they can use it forever. They want to use my account to run ads behind the scenes, lots of things. And so I literally charged what I was worth and sent them a proposal. And they came back and lowballed me by like three times the amount. So we end up going back and forth. I'm like, I'm not going to let up on this one, because what they're asking, like, I deserve this, this. And I ended up getting pretty close to that original number that I first went back with. And I was able to change the terms of the agreement so it works out for both of us and I'm not getting taken advantage of now. I will tell you, there was a thought in my head that said, oh, Caitlin, you're going to lose this opportunity, but I did it anyways. And so I just want this to be clear that sometimes all of this comes from real life experience and doing it it before you actually start doing it, you have to, you just have to start once. You just have to try it once and then you get better at, at putting yourself first and not self abandoning and asking for what you're worth. And you will get no's. I've been told no so many times, like I said, and I will say that over and over and over again in this conversation. I have been told so many no's, but there are times when I do get a yes and it makes that opportunity or that work so much more worth it to me versus had I said yes to the smaller number and then been, you know, hating my life because of what I had agreed to. The thing with me is like a lot of this is like real life experience too. Like if you've ever grown up in scarcity, if you've ever felt like opportunities were rare, or if you've ever had to work for everything, truly, like I've been working since I was 13 or 14 years old. Of course security feels emotionally loaded. Of course. What if this goes away? Plays in my mind all the time. It shows up. But confidence had to become okay. If this goes away because I asked for fair compensation, then it wasn't aligned in the first place. And that's the difference that I want you guys to remember. Because confidence is not forcing those outcomes. Confidence is being willing to lose. Misaligned outcomes. That's a whole word. And the same thing happens in business with launches, because people see outcomes now and assume that the confidence came first. But absolutely not. It does not. When I launched lower ticket offers, do you think I had certainty that they were going to sell? Absolutely not. I did have hope and I did have a strategy and I did have the ideas, but I also had anxiety. I also had approximately 73 to 100 tabs open in my brain. And that's what I had. And if I'm being honest with you guys, there were absolutely moments where I thought, what if no one buys this thing from me? Which, by the way, if you've ever launched anything, welcome. That's the initiation ceremony. But imagine if you let that fear decide for you. Imagine if I said, well, I'll wait until I feel more confident to launch this. This. How many opportunities do you think die in the waiting? Seriously, how many podcasts do you think never get launched? How many businesses do you think never get started? How many offers do you think never get posted. How many women stay invisible because they're waiting for that confidence to arrive like an Amazon package on their front doorstep? It doesn't work that way. Confidence really does show up after the action, not before it. And the same thing applies to being visible online. Can we talk about this for a second? Because this one's huge. People say they want growth, but what they actually want is growth without the discomfort of the visibility babe. That's not how this works. You cannot build a personal brand while being emotionally unavailable to be seen. That it's just absolutely impossible. It won't work that way. Visibility means that you are going to get opinions. Some people are not going to understand you. Some might. Actually, a lot might roll their eyes at you. Someone from high school will probably watch your story and talk crap about you. Your Aunt Karen, she might have a thought about you, and you might post stuff that actually flops. Oh, freaking. Well, that's the work. That's literally the work. Because every confident creator that you admire, every confident entrepreneur, every woman who seems so comfortable and confident, she built that through tolerance. And that's it. Tolerance for discomfort. And this reminds me of something I say all the time. Ask for the cookie. I love this concept because it's super playful, but it's also very true. I want you to think about that when you get off this conversation today. Ask for the cookie. What can you ask for this week? Can you ask for the upgrade? Can you ask for the introduction? Can you ask for the opportunity? Can you ask for the referral? Can you ask for a better room? Can you ask for the podcast guest? Can you ask for the thing? The answer might be no. It cannot always be yes, actually. So you gotta just tell yourself that. But, oh, well, sometimes the answer is gonna be yes. And what's wild is how many women never even try and get to find out because they've just talked themselves out of asking. And I'm telling you, that is where I used to be. That is who I was 10 years ago. I want to say something important here. This episode is not to be reckless either with what you're asking. And it's not like go demand everything, you know, go walk around wildly entitled. It's just about recognizing how often our fear disguises itself as logic. I just don't want to bother them. That is my number one thought process in my back of my head that I have to fight with. What if it's not the right time? Wait. I should wait. I need to be a little more prepared, actually. Let me Perfect. This first, before I ask, maybe, or maybe that's fear wearing a very badass blazer. That line needs to go on a sweatshirt. Because truly, fear sounds very rational sometimes. But confidence learns how to separate real wisdom from self protection. And that's what's changed my life. I've stopped asking, what if they say no? And I've started asking, what if they say yes? So if you're listening to this, thinking, love this for you, Caitlin, but how do I actually become this person? Let's talk about it. Because I never want to do an episode where we just hype ourselves up for 45 minutes and then I leave you with. Just believe in yourself. Respectfully. No. We need actual tools. So let me give you a framework that I tend to follow for my own self confidence and to work out that muscle. So, first off, stop making rejection means something about your worth. This is like the foundation of everything. Because rejection is just information for you. It's not your identity. If someone says no, that does not mean that you're not talented or smart or unworthy. It just means that they said no. That's it. Well, and I know we laugh about this, but some of us take one unanswered email and we emotionally enter witness protection like, babe, come back. You're okay. Honestly, half the time, people are just busy. Just so you know, the amount of times I've followed up on something and gotten, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. This slipped. It's absurd. If I had made the initial silence mean I was unwanted, though, so many opportunities would have died because I killed it. Because I didn't follow up on it, it. I also want you to build those rejection reps. So think of confidence like this muscle that you gotta work out because it. It really is a muscle you have to work out. Nobody goes to the gym once and says, wow, why am I not ripped with abs? That would be insane. But women do this with courage. Constantly. You ask once, it feels uncomfortable, you panic, and then you decide, see, I'm not confident. I give up. Up. No, you're just new here. Confidence comes from reps. Send the pitch, ask the question, post the video, make the offer, speak in the room, do it enough, and your nervous system starts realizing, like, oh, my gosh, we can handle a no, we did not die. That's super powerful. And your brain loves the familiar part of life. So you just gotta work, work it out. Visibility will get easier. Speaking will get easier. Negotiating will get easier. Not just because that fear mag disappeared, but because you. Your tolerance, it Expands. Number three, stop protecting your ego like it's your full time job. Can I lovingly say something? Sometimes what we call waiting is actually just us protecting our ego. If you never launch, you will never fail. If you never ask, you will never get rejected. If you never post, you'll never nobody can judge you. And that's convenient, but it's also expensive because the price of protecting your ego is usually momentum or growth or opportunity. The price is the life you actually want to create for yourself. And I had to realize some of my hesitation was not wisdom, it was me trying to self protect. And that's super different. And once you see that, you can choose differently. Number four, separate your job from their job. And this one changed my business life. So my job is to show up, pitch, create, launch, ask, follow up, offer value. Their job is either to say yes or no. Those are two different jobs. And when you try, when you're trying to start like managing their response, you kind of spiral out like what if they think this? Or what if they say no or what if they hate it? That's their department, stay in yours. That one mindset alone creates so much peace for you. And then number five, I want you to be able to recover faster. This might be the whole episode here. Because confident people are not immune to disappointment. They just recover faster. That's it. They don't spend six to seven business days making a no mean they should disappear forever. They feel it, they process it and then they move along. That's resilience. And research actually supports this. People with stronger self efficiency tend to cope better with setbacks because they believe they can find another way forward. And that's what we're building. We're not building delusion, we're building resilience. And I want to say this too. This is not about becoming cold and like not having feelings and being numb. It's not about pretending that rejection never hurts. Because that's not confidence. Confidence is caring deeply without collapsing. And that's the difference. And that's available to you right now. So here's your challenge. This week I want you to make one scary Ask just one. DM the person, pitch the collab, raise your rates, apply for an opportunity, ask for a referral. Post the reel, send the email, ask a follow up question. One scary ask if the answer is no, I want you to say it with me. Oh well, because you might get a no. In fact, more than likely you will get a no. Maybe they'll say yes, but more than likely you will get a no. And your whole life will change when you stop needing certainty before the courage. That's the shift we make. That's the confidence hack. Not affirmations, which I love. Not pretending, not waiting, but action. Messy, human, uncomfortable action. And if I can leave you with anything today, it's this. The women that you admire, the ones who seems very bold or she's getting opportunities or she's in these rooms or she's building big things, she is not less scared than you. She just stopped making fear her decision maker, and that's it. And maybe confidence isn't about becoming fearless. It's just becoming the woman who says, I'll survive the no. That's a woman that no one can stop. If this episode hits you, please send it to the ambitious woman in your life who needs this reminder. Screenshot it. Throw it in your stories. Tag me. Call her creator, because I love seeing what resonates with you guys. And if you've been loving the podcast, leaving a review genuinely means the world to me. It helps this show reach more women, and that is how we grow. So please, leave a review. I love you. I believe in you. Now go ask for the cookie. And if they say no? Oh, well. See you next week.