174. You Can’t Change Your Past, But You Can Change Who You Become Ft. Alexis Andra

Summary

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Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades

Episode 174: You Can’t Change Your Past, But You Can Change Who You Become — Ft. Alexis Andra
Release Date: July 21, 2026
Guest: Alexis Andra, Founder of The Shift Creative and Host of Shift Happens Podcast

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Episode Overview

In this powerful and deeply honest episode, Katelyn invites Alexis Andra to share her remarkable story — from surviving a traumatic childhood accident and navigating family abuse to building a multi-faceted creative business and growing into a coach and podcast host whose core mission is helping women be seen and step out of hiding. The conversation moves through trauma, resilience, faith, career pivots, and the realities of healing, visibility, and purposeful work.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Alexis’s Childhood Trauma and Survival

• The Accident and Aftermath
  Alexis shares the harrowing story of being severely burned at age eight in a freak gas station accident, her month-long coma, and her isolated recovery in a hospital far from home.

  • "[My stepmom and my dad were arguing in the front seat... I said, can I pump the gas? I’ve never done that before. Eight years old, never did it before... Static electricity ignited the pump and lit the car on fire. And lit myself on fire.]" — Alexis (03:23)

• Feelings of Neglect and Being “Invisible”
  Alexis details her time in the hospital alone, the complex craving for her stepmom’s affection, and how childhood dynamics ingrained beliefs about being a burden and not enough.

  • "And I made friends with nurses. They become my friends... I was there [in California] and my dad and my mom, stepmom, they were taking care of my two brothers and working. And I was. I was there." — Alexis (08:00)
  • "Maybe my stepmom will feel bad for me. Oh, that's so sad. And will love me more because I'm in pain. Which is so twisted to say. So twisted, but is actually how I felt..." (09:33)

• Shame, Hiding, and Shaping Identity Realization of her “difference” in fourth grade led to internalized shame and decision to hide herself physically and emotionally for years.

  • "I put post it notes all over my mirror and I said, you are brave, you are beautiful. Don't cry.... And that day I chose to hide forever. Like, forever up until, you know, I did the work to be seen." — Alexis (12:30)

Overcoming and Coping Mechanisms

• Humor, Over-Achievement, and Partying Alexis and Katelyn discuss coping by over-functioning, using humor as armor, and seeking validation through achievement and social acceptance.
  • "I want to be anything but Alexis, the girl who got burned. So I'm going to be the funny one. I'll be the stylish one. I'll be the girl that gets good grades. I'll be the partier... I wanted to escape and be this different version." — Alexis (15:03)
  • "I make everything funny." — Katelyn (16:30)
  • Both discuss the “trauma response” of changing one’s voice or persona to avoid making others uncomfortable.

The Long Road of Healing & Family Dynamics

• Family Complications: Parental Loss, Blended Families, and Mother Wounds Alexis unpacks the loss of her mother to breast cancer at age 2, the emotional vacuum left by her stepmom, and how her father’s own grief impeded his ability to parent.

  • "My real mom passed away when I was 2 of breast cancer. She was 32 years old. ...I definitely have a mother wound. I look up to older women, I look at families and I crave that." — Alexis (20:13, 21:56)

• Breaking the Cycle Both women speak openly about setting boundaries in adulthood, therapy, and how marrying supportive partners helped them break free from manipulative family members.

Faith and Philosophical Awakening

• Turning to God in Adulthood Alexis describes how studying philosophy (especially Pascal’s wager) and being invited to college ministry changed her perspective, led to a transformative experience with faith, and marked the end of her destructive coping behaviors.

  • "If you believe in God and He's not real, you've lost nothing. ...If you believe in God and He is real, you've gained everything.... Maybe God's real. And that was kind of the start of my journey..." — Alexis (23:59)
  • "I completely gave my life to Jesus. I stopped drinking, stopped doing drugs, stopped having sex. Like, I completely changed my life at 19 as only because of my relationship with God." (24:54)

• Katelyn’s Perspective Katelyn relates through her own experience of profound loss and finding solace in faith at a young age.

  • "My grandmother was my mom until she died... from breast cancer... that was the first...that's why I have separation anxiety from my kids, because I had profound loss at such a young age." — Katelyn (26:30)

Building a Creative Business from the Ground Up

• From Recovery to Resilience: The Shift Creative Alexis shares how her creativity and counseling background converged — starting as a blog, growing through unpaid internships, and building into a company doing large-scale art installations for major brands.

  • "I started this blog, the Shift Creative... for the, for a minute there, it was just me posting DIY and photo shoots. And I would do a lot of free stuff with different vendors..." — Alexis (39:49)
  • "Create and Cultivate... she had followed me... I think I offered to do it for free for the first one I did. And it was Kim Kardashian in front of it." (42:10)

• The Value of Free Work and Hustle Both emphasize the importance of hustle, free work, and humility early in one’s career — pushing back on modern entitlement and the myth of instant “overnight” success.

  • "To get your foot in the door, sometimes you have to freaking do some things for free." — Alexis (42:45)
  • "The, the freedom and the flexibility is because we put the hard work in at the beginning when no one was there to help us... I was painting, sawing, sweating, lifting plywood..." (45:22)

Visibility, Identity, and Purpose: The Coaching and Podcast Pivot

• Redefining Identity and Purpose Alexis is transparent about her current transition from being known as “the creative girl” to owning her calling as a coach, podcaster, and mentor.

  • "My zone of excellence would be my designing and my eye for creativity... My zone of genius, I think is in making people feel safe and comfortable enough to share their story and help guide them through using their, you know, pain to purpose. That I would feel like is my God given purpose and calling." — Alexis (49:15)

• Owning the Next Chapter Despite Uncertainty She addresses the “identity death” of pivoting into new fields, the non-linear path of entrepreneurship, and the reality that growth often means less money and more discomfort at first.

  • "There's an identity death I'm currently experiencing...I'm learning how to almost rebuild a new business that has nothing to do with me being creative." (52:52)
  • "If you just want to, like, start something and you think you're going to start making all this money right away, I just don't think that's true." (53:56)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Healing and Purpose

• "You have to take the small steps first. Clear why? Small steps daily. If you try to chew too much at first, it can feel a little overwhelming. But I would say just take...each day, decide who you want to be and make steps to be that person."
  — Alexis (55:29)

• "We get to choose how we are going to use our pain. Are we going to use our pain for purpose or are we going to use our pain to be a victim? ...God wants all things that were meant for evil to be turned to for good."
  — Alexis (33:48, 34:25)

• "If I can do it, so can you. Let me show you what I know so far."
  — Alexis (36:14)

On Entrepreneurship, Social Media, and Letting Go

• "I feel like people recognize how important it is to do stuff for free. We’re all about, know your worth. Listen, I get it...but to get your foot in the door — do some things for free."
  — Alexis (43:09)

• "It’s hard to separate yourself when you’ve been known as that girl for so long...there’s an identity death I’m currently experiencing."
  — Alexis (52:26)

Mic Drop Moment

• "Your old self wants to stay exactly where you’ve always been, and it wants to whisper to you that you aren’t qualified, that you don’t know enough. And it’s going to keep you chained...you will never allow the new version to come through, ever."
  — Alexis (54:53)

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Important Timestamps

• 02:33 – 08:51: Alexis shares her childhood accident story, recovery, and early family trauma.
• 12:30 – 13:49: The decision to "hide" after realizing her differences and the impact on her identity.
• 15:03 – 16:23: Coping mechanisms: humor, achievement, and partying.
• 20:05 – 21:56: The added complexity of parental loss, blended families, and parental grief.
• 23:58 – 25:23: Philosophy course and turning point in faith journey.
• 39:16 – 46:44: The founding and growth of The Shift Creative, creative hustle, and working for major brands.
• 49:14 – 53:13: Navigating career pivots, zones of genius vs. excellence, and identity evolution.
• 53:45 – 55:29: Advice for women ready to step out but struggling to move forward.
• 55:43 – 57:33: Info on how to work with Alexis through group and 1:1 coaching.

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Actionable Wisdom

• For Women Ready to Pivot: Get very clear on your WHY. Stick to small, brave action steps every day. Don’t try to swallow the entire transformation at once.
• On Visibility: Being visible and using your voice can start privately. Healing is not linear or “finished” — and you can lead from “what I know so far.”
• For Entrepreneurs: Value proximity, humility, and the willingness to do free work or grunt work early — nothing replaces the experience you gain from showing up and saying yes.

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Connect with Alexis Andra: Links are in the episode show notes for coaching, podcast, and The Shift Creative.

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Transcript

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

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[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Welcome back to another episode of Call her Creator. I'm your host, Kaitlyn Rhodes, and today I have someone so special to introduce you guys to. I think it was like a year ago that I first heard Alexis talk and I was like, who is this? And then I heard her story and. And so I tell you guys all the time, ask for the cookie Shoot your shot. And so I did that thing. I'm here in Newport beach. And so I sent Alexis a DM and I was like, hey, crazy idea, but would you ever consider. And she was the sweetest human being and was like, absolutely, let's do it. So I'm going to be on her podcast, she's going to be on mine. But Alexis, welcome to call her creator.

[Alexis]

Yay. I'm so excited to be here. Thank you so much for having me and for shooting your shot.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yes, shooting my shot. I did it. And she said yes. Um, so what I love about Alexis is she also is in like the marketing field, but she's trying to move into that self development with her podcast shift happen. So make sure you go listen to that. I'm also. You'll hear me on there too. Um, but she's an incredible woman, incredible story, and so I think I want to start this off with you telling them your story. Because it's absolutely, like, it doesn't happen to people.

[Alexis]

Yeah, no, it doesn't.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Maybe we start there.

[Alexis]

Yeah, it's like a freak accident type of thing.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Literally.

[Alexis]

And I'll preface this by saying, like, that's not. I talk a lot about this part of my story, but there's so many, so much more other parts of my story that don't get this much attention because this is like a freak thing, but still are equally. You know, they matter in the totality of the storytelling. But the one that you're speaking of, that I shared on Lori's podcast, happened March 16, 1999. I am 8 years old, and I was born and raised in Las Vegas. I had my stepmom and my dad. We were driving to the gas station. We were actually on the way to a casino, and that's where I spent a lot of my time. My parents gambled so much, and I was basically raised in the kids care at the casino. Okay.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I didn't know this part.

[Alexis]

Yeah, yeah. And so I would spend, oh, my gosh. Hours at the kids club. I mean, they had, like, games and stuff.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Like, did you like it? Or.

[Alexis]

I mean, for a few hours, but when you're there for. Till midnight, you know, you know, it. It kind of becomes excessive. So we were going there that night, and my stepmom and my dad were arguing in the front seat. And we talked about this on. On my episode with you just not really wanting to be seen. We just want to be a little smaller. We don't want to ruffle any feathers. And so when they're arguing about my stepbrother and half brother. I have a blended family. My first thought is, well, how can I be the good daughter? How can I be in the good graces of my parents and be better than my brothers who they're arguing about? So I said, can I pump. Can I pump the gas? Can I pump gas in your car? I've never done that before. Eight years old, never did it before. They agreed, yes, my stepmom went inside the gas station to pay, because this is before you could pay at the pump. My dad leans forward. We're in a 2, 2 door, so he leans forward. I slide out of the back seat. I make my way. I click the cheapest gas, and I start pumping the gas. As I'm pumping the gas, I'm young. I don't really know. I'm like, I'm kind of pushing it. Something's not right. I'm like, is this working? Is it not working? All of a sudden I see gas kind of coming out, pouring out and onto the ground. And so I'm like, okay, something's wrong. So I start yelling for my dad. I'm like, dad, dad. And he gets out of the car. And as he makes his way to about the back of the car, static electricity ignited the pump and lit the car on fire. And lit myself on fire. And so in that moment, we don't know what's going on. I lost consciousness. My dad is trying to get me off from being in flames. There's a construction worker next to us. He has a big screen and he's wrapping it around me. And I regain consciousness and I'm in this big industrial sink at the gas station. I see my dad laying on the ground. He seems like he's in pain. I look, it's my stepmom. And she was the one that I always desperately wanted love and attention from. My first thought was, I'm in so much trouble. Like I'm in so much trouble. I just keep saying I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And I look down and just my skin is falling off of me. And I remember vividly thinking, well, I can't go to my school field trip tomorrow. It was a mining field trip. I don't know, it's like a mining field trip in Las Vegas. And so I go into the ambulance. I was in a drug induced coma for a month. They thought they might have to amputate my legs. They didn't know if I was going to live. I was so small. So the trauma to your body was a lot. I regained consciousness and I learned that I'm going to get airlifted to a special hospital in Sacramento called Shiners Hospital. There's also one in la and that hospital really saved me. I had to undergo over 22 plus surgeries. They ended up taking skin from my back and a little bit on my stomach and put them on my legs. I had to relearn how to walk again and honestly endure so much pain. So much pain. We did dressing changes two times a day in the morning and the night. And so. And I don't want to get like too vivid, but to paint the picture, you know, think about when you have a scab and you take off an open wound and you put a band aid on there and it hurts to take it off because the band aid stuck.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

So every time it was painful.

[Alexis]

Yes. So think about your back or your stomach or your legs raw and having to change that gauze so pleading with the nurses, pleading with them not to do my changes, and living in this hospital for three months, primarily alone, no mom or dad were there. I was there. And I made friends with nurses. And that was my. They were in Las Vegas. So I'm airlifted to California. And my dad and my mom, stepmom, they were taking care of my two brothers and working, and I was. I was there. And now, again, I don't want to keep relating to the podcast episode we just had together, but I did, I do mention it explains it. It doesn't excuse it. I use that, that phrase with you before off camera. And as a mom now, I'm like, how do you leave your child in the hospital? I don't.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

As a mom now, that is where all of this comes up for me too, with the crap that I've been through with my parents. It's like, as a mom now, can you imagine leaving your child in the hospital for, what'd you say, three months?

[Alexis]

Yeah. So one month I was in Las Vegas, and then two months I was in California. So those two months is when I didn't. I saw my dad one time, probably twice, and then my stepmom twice when she dropped me off and when she picked me up.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, God.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay, so you're in the hospital, you basically these nurses are taking care.

[Alexis]

Yes, they become my friends.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I was going to say. Are you in contact with any of them? No, no.

[Alexis]

I was for a while. I was for a while. And even when I got a little older, I tried to find them, but I didn't have last names and I had some pictures, but it wasn't easy.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah, I'm surprised no one's honestly reached out to you now.

[Alexis]

I know.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I bet one day. Yeah, maybe you will.

[Alexis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, my God. Okay, so you get through this monumental moment at 8 years old. How do you. How do you move on from this? And did you feel okay? So something that we talked about in our episode was feeling like a burden.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Did you feel.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

When you got home, were you feeling still feeling like a burden, like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry you have to take care of me?

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Or were.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

How are you feeling?

[Alexis]

Interestingly enough, I had a very vivid thought of maybe my stepmom will feel bad for me. Oh, that's so sad. And will love me more because I'm in pain. Which is so twisted to say. So twisted, but is actually how I felt like in that moment as an 8 year old. I actually turned 9 right when I got out of the Hospital. And so it's this thought of, well, maybe they'll see, like, I have braces on my legs because I'm learning how to walk again. I have physical therapy. I. They had to hire a nurse to come to our house to do my dressing changes and stuff. They had my stepmom how to do my dressing changes. And so, I mean. And she did have empathy and compassion on me. It's not like she was, you know, heartless. She did definitely have compassion. And, you know, I'd be crying at night because I'd be itching so much, because when your. Your. Your wounds heal the itching. And so I know that my mom, my stepmom had empathy and compassion, but I just thought my treatment would be better. I grew up in a very emotionally, sometimes physically abusive home. And so my nickname growing up was literally Cinderella from my stepbrother's friends and my stepbrother. And so when I'm talking chores.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Alexis]

And I'm an advocate for chores. I mean, my kids, they're too spoiled. I'm like, take the trash out. Let's get going. Let's, like, I can't do it all for you.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay.

[Alexis]

So I'm not saying, you know, to get the nickname Cinderella.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

Alludes to the child, that there was a lot more going on than just me doing some little household chores. That just wasn't the case. And so, yeah, that was my mindset of maybe they'll feel bad. Maybe. Maybe she'll feel bad, and she'll treat me better and love me. And I just quickly found out that wasn't the case. And so that was very, very quickly I realized, okay, Alexis, you can't. No one's gonna feel bad for you, you know? And I. I almost wanted. Almost. I ate. I was like, okay, I guess I can't be the victim. You know, maybe I kind of wanted to. Rightly so. As you should have be, like, this huge.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You were a victim.

[Alexis]

Yes, I was. Yes, exactly. And then I just realized, no. Like, no. Like, you have to deal with this. You have to deal with this. So what ended up happening is I ended up getting my pressure garments off because I had to wear, like, kind of garments for a year. And those garments help your scars from swelling and expanding. And so when I hit the fourth grade, my doctor was like, okay, you don't have to wear them anymore. So for a long time, I didn't really know that I was different because I just. I wore how to wear, like, these leggings, basically. So I'm wearing shorts but with like, leggings, I didn't. You don't know that you're different yet. Until it was the fourth grade and I put post it notes all over my mirror and I said, you know, because I was gonna wear shorts. You are brave. You are beautiful.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You did them. Not your stepmom.

[Alexis]

I did them. No one even prompted me to do this. You're brave, you're beautiful. Don't cry. And I put him on my mirror. And that day I wore these, like, black shorts and a baggy, like, white sweater. I remember. And I went to school and no one said anything. No one made fun of me, but it was very clear I was different. You know, obviously everyone's looking. And it was in that day I chose to hide forever. Like, forever up until, you know, I did the work to be seen. But I made that choice for elementary, junior high, high school, to hide. Wow. And that's why I'm so passionate now

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

to help other women, other women, not hide. Even though you still kind of struggle with yourself sometimes? Of course.

[Alexis]

No, of course. And rightly so. Yeah, of course. I still struggle with being seen. However, I think that it's night and day from the girl who would never go to the pool party, never go to the beach, never would wear, cover up completely in the 120 degree weather in Las Vegas and not be seen at all. I mean, you know, so it's really night and day. The work that I've done.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

The work that you've done. And that's the thing too, is like, you've chosen to do the work. There's a lot of people out there that will never get the work done because they are just like, nope, this is just how it is. This is how I'll be forever. Are there people that you knew then, that know you now that are like, wow, who is this new Alexis?

[Alexis]

Yes. I mean, definitely my dad. But also I have a friend from Las Vegas. She was my best friend growing up.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Okay.

[Alexis]

So I've known her since six grade. Okay. So she saw how my family life was with my stepmom. She's the only one that really knows how my stepmom was. Even when we moved to California, she would come visit. So she knew how my stepmom was. She knew how. How insecure I was about this one time. And this isn't her fault. I'll preface this, but I clearly remember her telling me that I would probably be one of the popular girls at school if I didn't have my scars. Yes, I know. And she didn't know. She didn't know that. Yes. I don't. You know, we're so young. It was sixth grade, but she was just like, you're so pretty. You're so cool. But, like, you would probably be, like, you'd probably be really popular if you didn't have scars.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, my God.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah, I like that.

[Alexis]

You still remember that, of course, because you internalize that.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

So then what happens? So you're told these things, and you see other people looking, quote, unquote normal. And what do you decide? I want to be anything but Alexis, the girl who got burned. So I'm going to be the funny one. I'll be the stylish one. I'll be the girl that gets good grades. I'll be the partier. I started partying hardcore at age 14 to 19. Drugs, alcohol, what? Sex. Oh, I was wild. I was wild. And I was. It was to the point where I was like, I'm not happy with my life. And. And I justified it because I was always responsible. I worked at Subway at the age of 15. Walked to work, you know, lied on my application, turned the 5 twist 6, photocopied it so I could work at 16 for a worker's permit. Yeah. Became a sandwich artist at Subway.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Wow.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Love that for you.

[Alexis]

Brought home sandwiches for me and my stepmom would pay sometimes our cell phone bills would pay, our electrical bill from my Subway money. So, you know, kind of doing these things, but then partying. So I justified it, like, well, I'm doing all these things, but I might dabble in some coke, you know, or whatever it is. And again, it was to escape my reality. It was because I wasn't happy with who I was. I wanted to escape and be this different version of me that I would. I assumed other people would like better.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I see that. Yeah.

[Alexis]

Than me fully exposed, just being confident right in my body. Because I wasn't.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I relate to that. So hard. Because when it was harder for me back in my childhood, I would. I still do this today. Like, I think every. I make everything funny.

[Alexis]

I notice, too. I do that, too.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Do you change your voice, too? I. Someone who was it. She'll change her voice. She said, if you notice that you change your voice higher or lower, it's you trying to make others feel comfy. So she's trying. She's trying to now just talk neutral

[Alexis]

because it's more, like, interesting.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

And I was like, oh, my God, I do that.

[Alexis]

Oh, I do it. I do so much.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I do. Yeah, It's Our trauma.

[Alexis]

It is. It is. It is a lot. And, well, I think a lot of it is empathy, too, for other people. I think we're thinking so much about other people and how it's landing on other people that we alter ourselves for that, for them.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

That is exactly.

[Alexis]

And sometimes when I meet people who don't do that, I notice it, and sometimes it, like, rubs me the wrong way and then. But then other times, I'm, like, envious, like, oh, wow, you don't really.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You don't feel good? You're okay. Yeah. You're okay not making me feel good. Yeah.

[Alexis]

It's a weird shift. I'm like, oh, okay.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

So that is so funny, too. And I noticed right off the bat with you, too. So when I first got here for this podcast episode, I. I've. I've flown across the. The country, and then I get in an Uber. I get carsick. I almost threw up outside, and then I walk in, and I just kind of, like, lay down on the couch. This is my first time meeting Alexis, by the way. And, like, I hold Alexis to a very high standard, so I'm like, oh, my God, I'm just gonna lay it all out for this girl. But she was so kind. You were just like, lay it out, girl. You calm down. You'll be fine. Like, you made me. Now I'm seeing, like, that's part of your tr too.

[Alexis]

But that's a gift, too.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

It is a gift because you made me feel very comfortable. And honestly, I couldn't guys imagine if

[Alexis]

it was someone like, can't.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Can you imagine? Because there's other people. So we'd also talked about. We've met people that are, like, Internet personalities or, like, bigger people, that they look really cool or nice or fun online, and then you meet them in person, and they are not nice. Oh, my God, Alexis, if you were one of those and I just showed up like that, you'd probably be like,

[Alexis]

who is this girl? Take your time.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You'd be like, we had an appointment.

[Alexis]

Speaking of neutral tones, I like, imagine if I was like, okay, thank you.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Thank you for not doing it.

[Alexis]

I'm like, oh, you're okay. I'm like, what are we gonna do?

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You want a snack? I'm like, no, I'm fine. Just let me sit for a minute.

[Alexis]

That is funny.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay. You go through this traumatic experience, then you're working, then you're helping pay bills,

[Alexis]

and I had to cut off my stepmom, and that's why we don't talk anymore. I haven't talked to her in over a decade because she wanted money. And I was like, it's not wise for me to give you money when you haven't paid me back before. And our relationship was never good. I mean, like, she was very manipulative growing up. And so I'm like, I didn't really feel this, like, at first I was so manipulated that I would do it. I would, like, serve her and be at her beck and call.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Same.

[Alexis]

But then when I got married, I think that was the shift.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

That was the shift for me, too. I told you, my. My husband is my knight in shining armor. Like, no, you're not going to take advantage of her. Like, my mom kind of backed off. Me and my mom have been bickering since, like, me and my husband got married. But then once we were married, my husband kind of put her in her place one time. Mom, if you're listening, you know I love you. Eric loves you, too. But, like, he had to be like, hey, we're not doing this anymore.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

And sometimes you gotta have someone like that. I think it's so important. Um, let's go back to. You helped pay for a bill. How do you get out of this situation? You're partying, you're doing all, like. How does someone that falls deep into that hole get out of something like that and become what you've become?

[Alexis]

On. Okay, so going back to earlier childhood, I. You know, my mom died. My real mom died.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay, we did not talk about that.

[Alexis]

Yes. So how old are you? Cause I keep saying stepmom. Right. So my real mom passed away when I was 2 of breast cancer.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, my God.

[Alexis]

She was 32 years old.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, my God.

[Alexis]

Yes. And so my brother. Half brother. Because again, I'm blended. This is my. My half brother is my mom's son that she had before she married my dad.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh.

[Alexis]

When she was dying, she asked my dad to take care of my brother.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

And he did.

[Alexis]

Yes. Because his dad didn't want him.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, my gosh.

[Alexis]

Yes. And me and my brother are close.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay, good.

[Alexis]

Now.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

Yeah. But we kind of fought because we were so hungry for my stepmom's affection that we kind of were pitted against each other. Yeah. So. But anyways, I say that to say she passed away. My brother was six. I was two. So now my dad has two kids. My stepmom was our across the street neighbor, and she had a son.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, my God.

[Alexis]

Yes. And so I think my dad.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Jerry Springer. Yeah.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

So you need a TV show.

[Alexis]

I know. You definitely that's why I have a podcast.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

We're gonna work on that.

[Alexis]

But I, it's funny because I always feel like people know my story, but then I realized, like, I do, I, I obviously share on the podcast, but I think I need to talk about it more on the podcast because I, like, people are like, oh, wait, you have a really crazy story. I'm like, yeah, that's why I have the podcast.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

That's a wild story.

[Alexis]

Yeah. Yeah. So, so she, she comes in, I think my dad was in so much grief because of the love of his life died. Here's this woman coming in, helping pay bills, helping rescue him from having a two year old and a six year old. And so anyways, you know, then they start this marriage. So I remember at a young age, really just wondering how my life would be if my mom was still here. And I still struggle with that. I definitely have a mother wound.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Yes.

[Alexis]

I look up to older women, I look at families and I crave that. And I'm divorced and that. So that's also where it's kind of, there's a grief there too, because now my kids don't have that family. But I always wondered, like, how would it be if my mom was still here? And with that I would kind of question heaven or hell, Very young age. I always wondered, is there God? Is God real? I had no idea what to believe. We were not raised anything. I'm Italian, but there was no faith in my family. We would say we're Catholic because we're Italian, but that's not. There was no belief, you know, no church, nothing. So Jehovah's Witness would come to our door, Mormons would come to our door, and I would talk to them because I just didn't know what to believe. And so through that curiosity, I would get invited to some Christian things here or there. You know, in high school, I heard the, I watched the Passion of the Christ, but nothing really. I was like, maybe, yeah. But I, I, if I, like sat down at night, I would be angry if there was a God, because I didn't know. Why would God allow all these bad things to happen in my life? If you are God, like, if you are real, why is this my life? I couldn't make sense of it. Why am I going through all of this stuff? Like, I did not like my life. I, I mean, for years I couldn't wait until I was 18 so I could move out. And so when I turned 19, I was taking courses at a community college and I enrolled in this Philosophy course. And, you know, it was all about Pascal's reasoning. And Pascal essentially says, if you believe in God and He's not real, you've lost nothing. He's not real. If you believe in God and He is real, you've gained everything. If you believe in God, or if you don't believe in God and He's not real, nothing.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

What do you have to lose?

[Alexis]

You've lost nothing. And if you believe in God and He is real, you've lost everything. So this is a philosophy class. This is not Christian nothing. Okay. And again, this is my. I'm partying. I'm a little wild at this time. And so I looked at my best friend and I said, maybe God's real. And that was kind of the start of my journey into who is God. And so there was a few guys that entered my life. God was like, I gotta get her through some guys.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yep.

[Alexis]

One guy invited me to go to this college ministry where I, you know, live a different guy that had a crush on. He invited me to that same ministry. Two different guys. Same one. Yeah. So I went. And slowly but surely, my life changed. I. I completely gave my life to Jesus. I stopped drinking, stopped doing drugs, stopped having sex. Like, I completely changed my life at 19 as only because of my relationship with God.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, my God.

[Alexis]

Yes.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

So.

[Alexis]

So the. The. The shift is huge because my dad too, like, he was kind of more of my friend. He would come and play beer pong with me and my friends. We would go to the clubs in la. I, like, gave him a makeover one time and like. Like we bought these clothes at the mall. And he, like, looked young. Like, my friends liked him and my friends moms liked him. Like, it was a whole thing. I would cuss so crazy. I had the worst mouth. And so it was a big change.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Shift.

[Alexis]

The shift. Shift happens. Yeah, it was. It was a big, big change. And so, yeah, I don't. I don't cuss at all, which is, like, fine if people cuss. I just don't. And it was. It was something for me where I was like, how can I change the way? Like, like, how can I be a light? That's very noticeable. And it's by how I carry myself

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

and how I do that.

[Alexis]

That was one of the things that I did. And it's not, you know, it's. That's my own conviction.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I don't know. But other people.

[Alexis]

But it's.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I do think you're prettier when you don't say dirty words. Yeah, I really do.

[Alexis]

Yeah. But I literally. I don't like. I don't even like when the rap song comes on. One of my friends. One of my friends recently, we were, like, in the car, and she looked at me, and she was like, you don't even cuss the rap songs. Cussing the rap songs. I was like, no, I just don't.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I love that. I actually love that. And this is what's so funny. Like, I'm telling you, our soul sisters. So with my story. My grandmother was my mom until she died when I was 13 from breast cancer. Isn't that wild? Four days be turned. Four days before I turned 13. Wow. She died.

[Alexis]

That must have been.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, it was. It was. That was the first. And I think that's why I have separation anxiety from my kids, because I had profound loss at such a young age. And it was like, you're. You're 13. Like, all the life changes are happening.

[Alexis]

My daughter is about to be 13 in July.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

It's a pivotal moment. It's a huge age. So I lose her. And she literally has been my light my entire life. But my difference with you is that I. I got really into God when she passed because that was my only hope. That was my only hope because she was my angel. And now she's gone. And now I'm back to this torture through emotional abuse and all this stuff with my parents.

[Alexis]

And so you probably felt abandoned in some way.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

I did.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I did. Yeah. And the only thing. God was the only person I could turn to and talk to these things about, because my mom was already grieving, too, because that was her mother. Like, I can't imagine how my mom felt too. Too young to really understand her grief. But for me, I turned to God at that age, and. And he still gets me through things like that. But that's so wild that we did that.

[Alexis]

So.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

So God is what changed your life? Is that what got you into, like, self development and healing?

[Alexis]

So then. So during that time, I was already going to school for counseling. I was majoring in psychology.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You were going to school for counseling? Okay. I thought you were in counseling.

[Alexis]

I was like, no, I never.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Someone.

[Alexis]

No, I actually never went to counseling my whole life. Like. Well, I did for a childhood.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay. I didn't either, and I should have been, but I did when I was an adult.

[Alexis]

Well, you would think my parents would be like, she just endured all this traumatic stuff.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Hmm.

[Alexis]

Maybe we should get her.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

She should probably talk to someone.

[Alexis]

Are you good, Alexis? I don't think everyone. How are you dealing with this, honey? Never.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Do you feel like.

[Alexis]

I never got. I know nobody in my life was like, how are you dealing with. And I was so self conscious. I wasn't wearing things. I was, you know, I.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Do you think your dad just didn't know because he was a man?

[Alexis]

I think my dad, because we've had a lot of conversations and he doesn't love how open than I am on social media or the podcast, but it's my story. So for me, it's. I think my dad, admittedly, he was in denial about how bad the home life was with my stepmom because he had. Was grieving his wife that died. He was. Didn't know what to do with these two kids. And then he has the stepson now and, you know, he was oppressed. His daughter just got burned all over her body.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You know, he probably felt like a victim.

[Alexis]

Yep. He got burned on his hand a little bit. He had to endure, you know, different things with his work. And, and so I can imagine the mental strain that he had to go through seeing his daughter going through this heart wrenching situation, not being in a marriage that he was happy in. There was a lot of things that my dad went through that I have so much compassion and empathy for. However, I think that he stuck his head in the sand when it came to taking care of his kids, period. That's just the facts of it. And so I just don't think he. He showed up. And then I think when I did let him in as like a friend, he took that opportunity to kind of be like more of the friend dad.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

That's.

[Alexis]

And so, and so he did do that.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

That's. So I have compassion for my parents too because, like, my dad came from a very abusive dad, so I have compassion for him there. But then I'm like, what did we say? Like, that's a.

[Alexis]

That's a. It's a. It explains it. It doesn't excuse it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

It explains it doesn't exc. My story runs so deep, but I've never. I don't talk about it, but I love.

[Alexis]

Yeah, you should have shared that on my podcast.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I know you're kind of pulling me out, though. Like, it is my story to share. So I, I have compassion for both of my parents, but, like, that's just. That's what happened.

[Alexis]

Yes, but your story is still your story.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Still my story. But yeah, I also feel like society, when we were younger, you couldn't. No one asked about your feelings.

[Alexis]

You're so right. So I remember my Stepmom was going to counseling because she had a lot of, like, I think she battled with depression a lot. Bipolar, undiagnosed or something, but I think she was bipolar, but definitely depression. She wouldn't leave the house. Sometimes my parents, like, my mom wouldn't

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

get out of bed.

[Alexis]

Okay, this is exactly.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

Like, with my stepmom, like, just. She was addicted to pain pills. She had a really bad back, so she was very dependent on pain pills, too. And so I was the parent. So I remember her going to therapy, and I think she did it, but never was I ever asked. So that led me on this journey before I even encountered God, where I said, I want to help people not feel the way that I felt when I was little.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yes.

[Alexis]

And so because of that, that's why I went to school for counseling. So then I ended up going to actual. First I was in community college, and then I went to California Baptist University, which is a Christian school, and I graduated with behavioral science. Bachelor's in behavioral science. So my journey was, I decided, am I going to go to FIDM for fashion design or interior design or something creative, or am I going to pursue counseling? And I ended up choosing counseling. It wasn't. It was only because my daughter. I ended up getting married young, 22. Had my daughter three months later. Or, sorry, got pregnant three months later.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay.

[Alexis]

Had my daughter a year later at 23. And I decided I didn't want to go back for my master's. So because of that, I started a hobby, which is called the Shift Creative, which is my design business where we build and design sets for brands. But that just came from a hobby because I didn't want to go back to school.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay.

[Alexis]

With my newborn.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay.

[Alexis]

Okay. So it. That's so full circle of now is now I coach, which is a form of counseling, and I help women be seen, and I help people share their story and move from being insecure to confident. Right. Because that's what I did not have. Have as a little girl.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

1,000. And that's what I'm doing. Like, I'm sitting here talking to you. That's what I'm doing. I'm helping people use social media to be seen, because I want people to be seen. I want their story to be heard. Do you think yours is definitely, like, you.

[Alexis]

You do so well. Like, because you're. You want people. You're definitely using, like, social media.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Right.

[Alexis]

Whereas, like, mine, the component, it's not even. You don't have to be on social media.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Right.

[Alexis]

It's more that internal work to be seen, like even just with your friends and family or just with a stranger. So they've kind of. They both go hand in hand, though.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

They do.

[Alexis]

Yours is just a lot more on the camera.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Do you think that now that you do believe in God, do you think that traumatic things that happen to people serve some kind of purpose for their story later on? Like, do you think that we had to go through that to be who we are today and serve the people?

[Alexis]

I definitely do. And here's the thing. Do I pretend to have all the answers to all the hard questions?

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

No.

[Alexis]

Do I believe that we have a loving God who, you know, cares so much for us and has our best interest? Yes. Do I believe that we also have free will in this world? Yes. And what does that mean? That means our parents are going to fail us. That means we are going to fail our kids. That means there's going to be relational fallout. There's going to be relationships that don't work out that maybe are, you know, maybe are traumatic or, you know, whatever the case may be, because we live in a fallen world. So that's what I believe. God does not make us robots. He gives us choice.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Choice.

[Alexis]

And so we get to choose. You know, God created us and he gives us the gifts and he allows us to go through certain hardships and pain. And then there's also, you know, the fallen world aspect of it. But we do get to choose how we are going to use our pain. Are we going to use our pain for purpose or are we going to use our pain to be a victim? Are we going to use our pain to hide or are we going to use our pain to be seen? Right? And so I think there's a big difference there. But I absolutely believe that God wants all things that were meant for evil to be turned to for good. For good, you know, and that's my stance on it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I love that. So then, okay, so you go through all of this. Then you have your daughter.

[Alexis]

Oh, yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Then.

[Alexis]

And my best friend died. So, like, my best friend died right when I became a Christian. So that was.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, that was the devil saying, hey, I'm gonna test your.

[Alexis]

And he did. He did. She was driving and she fell asleep at the wheel and she hit a tree and she. I was 20 and are turning 20, so I was still 19. 19 was a big year for me. And she wasn't even 21 yet. And she. Yeah, she passed away. And I had a choice then, too. Am I going to go and party like I used to, to numb the pain or am I going to hang out with, you know, it was like my new Christian friends and like, pray over her crash site and I opened up my home for her family and I had her reception, like, at my house. And just like all these things where you, you do have a choice and it's all the small little decisions in your life that make up who you

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

are, that was a, that was a big loss.

[Alexis]

But I, I believe everything's divine. You know, at first I didn't think we were even going to have this conversation today because there was a whole bunch of podcast studio drama.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah. You guys don't even know. Yeah.

[Alexis]

And then, you know, I don't know, just everything else. And so I thought we were gonna cancel. So. I do believe in divine appointments and I do believe that you, you know, reached out for a reason. You heard my podcast on Lori's. On her podcast for a reason. I believe that you were allowed to go through things and so was I. So we could sit here today and so that we can have this conversation and that in our healing, others will be healed. And we're not claiming that we are perfectly healed. We will never be perfectly healed or arrive on this side of heaven ever. But with the information that we have, with the work that we've done, we're able to say, if I can do it, so can you. Let me show you what I know so far. We're all.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You guys know. I'm constantly creating content. Between my podcast, Instagram and the content

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[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

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[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

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[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

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[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

One of my favorite features is that

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[Alexis]

Always learning. We're always learning.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

What I know so far. I like that.

[Alexis]

What I know so far. That's it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

And this is what I like too. So we both have had profound loss, like I just said, all the things trauma, but we've still built really beautiful businesses. And it doesn't sound like you had a step up or a silver spoon either. And she's worked with incredible women. I'll let you see.

[Alexis]

Oh, let me say, let's kind of talk about. I'm gonna walk into the light. Yeah. Can you walk into your light and

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

tell them what you do now? What have you built?

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

And how did you do that?

[Alexis]

Oh, gosh. So like I mentioned with my daughter when she was born, she was about six months old. And a lot of my friends actually encouraged me, Alexis, start a blog. Start a blog. This is when blogs were a thing, you know, And I was like, I don't people even gonna look at this blog. Like, I didn't. I wasn't in that world at all blogging or anything. And they're like, yeah, just do it. Just do it. Like you're so creative, you know, and this is spanning all creativity. So think about interiors, fashion, diy. I was doing it all. So I started this blog, the Shift Creative.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay.

[Alexis]

And my friend, she knew how to do a website and she knew how to do graphic design. So she put it up there and I came up with the name and whatever. So for the, for a minute there, it was just me posting DIY and photo shoots. And I would do a lot of free stuff with different vendors that I knew. Like, oh, my friend, she does baked. Baked goods and she can make super cute, like baked goods that look like an ice cream, but it's like a Rice Krispie. I don't like back in the day. Right?

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yes.

[Alexis]

It's like a styled shoot. It's fake.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

But the goal is to get the footage and so that you could post on Instagram, but that you can get published in a blog that was all the rage. You want to get published, right? So my very first one, Boom. Got published and that. It's hard. It was hard. That's what they said.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

It was a weird.

[Alexis]

Do you remember Wedding Shoes?

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh my God.

[Alexis]

Green Wedding Shoes was the first blog. Then from there was Style Me Pretty. Then inspired by this. And I never got rejected. Like, it was so weird at the beginning I was like, oh, I must be good at this, literally. And so from there, from doing these photo shoots, I worked with brands doing styling, prop styling, like product styling. So I actually did goops ingredient styling. See guys for their website. So, so crazy. I was so underqualified to be 100% real with you.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

We typically are so underqualified.

[Alexis]

And I have there like, oh my gosh. It was, it was so crazy. But I would do a lot of like product styling at first, wardrobe styling, and then I would create like backdrops for some of the products and stuff.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Stuff.

[Alexis]

And that's where I was like, well, what if I did large scale art? So then I would be up on a scaffolding, macrame, huge ropes, like for art installations and like just 25ft long macrame. And then I would be making these little like paper, like geodes and like doing these installs like you have. It's so crazy. I'll have to like show you the older stuff. But it was just me, like doing this stuff. And then younger women, younger girls, they would reach out and they asked if they could intern for me. Me, like, for free. So like, for years I. I started implementing an internship program where they would come learn from me for free and they would just build Help build all this stuff with me. And from that, it turned into. Then I had a warehouse, then I had employees, then I had trucks, then I had. Then we're woodworking. I work a fabrication team now. Now I'm doing stages, you know, and then Create and Cultivate was the one that really put me on the map.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Huge.

[Alexis]

So Create and Cultivate. She had followed me, actually, Jacqueline. And then back in the day, we just chatted, and she was like, you're on my list to reach out. Like, you do such good work. And I just had offered to do. I think I offered to do it for free for the first one I did. And it was Kim Kardashian in front of it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Shut your mouth.

[Alexis]

It was Kim Kardashian and Chrissy Teigen in front of. In front of the backdrops. Yeah. My very first one.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

So you're. I love. I love this, too. For people out there that do want to do something, are you okay with saying, hey, do a couple things for free to get your name out there?

[Alexis]

I think that this day and age, this. I don't know if it's this generation, if it's Gen Z. I don't know. Whatever it is, I don't feel like there's an initiative to hustle into work. I don't. I'm saying that out loud. I don't feel like people recognize how important it is to do stuff for free. We're all about, know your worth. Listen, I get it. Know your worth. But, like. Like, to get your foot in the door, sometimes you have to freaking do. Do some things for free.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I've done it.

[Alexis]

Like, I've done it. I'll still do it. If it was a good opportunity and some, I would still do it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah, no, same.

[Alexis]

It just depends on what it is.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I'm learning, too, in business, like, the proximity that Lori talks about proximity all the time. I'm like, that's such a baloney.

[Alexis]

No, it's not true. It's not baloney. And I've done numerous things with. With Lori. Lots of her back, her. Her backdrops, too, and all. All, you know, because we're, you know, friends now. I'll heavily, heavily discount it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

To the point that, you know, I'm not really making profit.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

But I'm doing it because I know the proximity. I know the people get in the room. So, yeah, you get in the rooms. And I feel like it is kind of lost on this new generation. I noticed that shift after Covid, especially with my intern rounds. They weren't as ambitious. They wanted a stipend. They wanted to get paid. I'm not saying that. Listen. Yeah, listen, everybody. Don't come out me. I understand. But you know how many non paid internships there are? You know, going to New York, working for a fashion magazine. You think all these interns are getting paid? Absolutely not. Like, maybe some. Yes. Times are changing. But like, shoot, I'd put in my, you know, my.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I did too. I did too.

[Alexis]

You should too.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay. You're so right. I have two interns.

[Alexis]

I'm not scared to say it like this.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

No, it's so true. And I love my interns. One of them is my little sister. But they're both paid. Like, I need to be like, you know what, little girls, listen, I always love y'.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

All.

[Alexis]

Well, so ours, Mine was six months, a six month program. Okay. And then I would say there's room to get hired on after.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

You know, and since I'm a creative company, I would be like, pitch me ideas, pitch me ideas. And if I like your idea, we can build it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Right.

[Alexis]

Like, that's for your portfolio.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

That's for.

[Alexis]

I mean, like, you're learning, like woodworking and painting and like, like there are skill sets here that you're learning 1,000. Yeah. But I think a lot of people would start to get a little entitled, like, oh, well, Alexis is out here painting and sawing anymore. Oh, I was for years.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Oh, I'm sure that's been set. You know, I, you know, and I love my employees. I'm. I hope they love me too. But I'm sure that's been said too, when they're doing the grunt work, but they don't know what all. It's.

[Alexis]

It's like, okay, if you want your own business, start your own business then. And that is my mindset. He says that all the time. If you want your own business, if you want your own podcast studio because you're mad that the owner's not there, start your own.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Start it.

[Alexis]

Start your own and see how it's really like.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

And then get all that.

[Alexis]

The, the freedom and the flexibility is because we put the hard work in at the beginning when no one was there to help us. I was painting, sawing, sweating, lifting plywood into trucks with my husband at the time.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

Like with my two kids, my one daughter at. For. At one point, you know, with a little bit of hired help. I mean, like, yeah, you have to build it. You have to put in the work. So I think sometimes with interns and employees, they see you where you are at now, and they just think, oh, you're making so much money and you're just sitting back collecting, and I'm not really making that much money, but I really, I'm the one that makes this business go. Well, sure, you probably do make the business go, but you weren't there at the very beginning to see how everything

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

actually was, you know, and you got to think, too. Like, think about all the things we teach them as well. Like the girls that work for me, I've taught them everything I know. So at the end of the day,

[Alexis]

like, you're walking away with valuable, valuable.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

So much value.

[Alexis]

Yeah. Now, so, yeah, so that's a tangent there. But yes, I, I built it. I mean, you know, whole team warehouse, the whole thing. Worked with, you know, yes, I've worked with Puma, I've worked with Disney, featured in Martha Stewart. I was actually in a whole Michael's commercial campaign where they came and they filmed me doing all this creative stuff at my warehouse. And I was on like post poster boards, like, throughout all the Michaels. I was like, me, Alexis, like, like, you know, it was super cool, super, super cool.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

What do you do with those really cool working relationships that you made? Do you do anything to nurture those after the thing has happened?

[Alexis]

You know, I, I have tried, you know, and here and there we'll keep in touch, but sometimes they kind of fizzle out. And sometimes, to be truthful, like, I'll just get so busy with the next thing. And I think as a high achiever, sometimes we don't really savor that moment and we don't really understand how important it is until maybe years later.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

Because now I can say, oh, my gosh, I was on a Michaels commercial. Like, people recognize me.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

No, like, that's wild.

[Alexis]

Like, literally in Canada, people would like, DM me and like, send me pictures of myself or like on the commercial, like on tv. And so it was just, you know, but in the moment it's like, yeah, that's cool. And then you kind of move on.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

What's the next thing?

[Alexis]

But I do. To your point, that would be a good word for the listener, is yes. Nurture those relationships. Sometimes I think, and even now, sometimes I'm like, well, I don't savor it. And I don't.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah, I don't savor either.

[Alexis]

You know, like, for my next job, right now I'm doing Kardashian Closet. So we're like, we're doing this whole revamp and it's going to turn into Kardashian closet. Kardashians will be there selling all their clothes and like, because that's what they do. They like, sell all the, like, Birkins will be there. Like all this stuff.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Wow.

[Alexis]

And I'm transforming it and I just got the email yesterday, like, going over the details.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Congratulations.

[Alexis]

And yeah, but yet what's wrong with me that I'm like, yeah, that's freaking amazing. But there's a part of me that's like, yeah, you're like, like, I'm like, it's fine. Like, and I don't even mean that in a cocky way. I almost mean that.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah. I think you're trying to downplay it

[Alexis]

that you are that. But also I think because my heart is so much for what I'm doing now currently with the podcast and with the coaching.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Can you tell us about that too? Like, you've built a really successful business, but you know that your heart art is really on the podcast side. How are you juggling both?

[Alexis]

It's hard. It is so hard.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Is there not?

[Alexis]

There's. There's balance in a way because I have scaled back with the creative agency, but you know, I'm taking on these big jobs like the Kardashian closet and stuff like that. But it's I. That comes so easy to me, the designing. And have you, have you read the book the. The Big Leap? Okay, so there's. You should read it. Okay, so it's zones of genius or zones of excellence. Zones of competence. My zone of excellence would be my designing and my eye for creativity. Everyone's like, you're so creative. You're so like, that's how they want to introduce me to everybody.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah, she's worked with, creating, cultivate.

[Alexis]

Oh my gosh.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

She's worked with.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yes.

[Alexis]

Okay. My zone of genius, I think is in making people feel safe and comfortable enough enough to share their story and help guide them through using their, you know, pain to purpose. That I would feel like is my God given purpose and calling. There's a difference. There's something that you can be very good at and you could be well known for it and you could be making a lot of money doing it. But when, you know, like, you know, when you lay your pillow at, you know, on the head, when you lay your head on the pillow at night, that you are made for more.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Are you seeing into my soul?

[Alexis]

Right know, there's a whole other pivot and sometimes it's that.

[Sponsor/Ad Voice]

Right.

[Alexis]

Sometimes it's less money. And I'm not, I'm not saying it's never going to be. But right now I'm, I'm at a podcast, dude. I'm paying money for it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Right.

[Alexis]

I'm not making. I'm not making money on the podcast. Right, Right. I think people can see you on a camera and see with the mic and they think, oh, you're making a lot of money doing this. No, this is an investment because I'm so passionate about it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Podcasts are an investment, guys. Just so you know, we are doing it for you.

[Alexis]

Literally. This is like nothing. Yeah. It's. So I'm using it as a tool, obviously, to make connections. A lot of my guests will hire me on the design end.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

So sure, I'm making money on that end of things, hopefully. Sometimes, you know, it's not a given that I'm interviewing guests that use me for the design aspect, but my heart is, my God given purpose is to help women be seen for who they are. To thrive, to be confident, to be empowered, to, gosh, to love themselves and to give them the permission to use their story. And it doesn't have to be on a podcast. Could be, could just be with their mom, could just be with their closest friend, you know?

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Can I ask you one thing?

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

When people introduce you, are you. Are they still introducing artsy? Yeah.

[Alexis]

The creative Alexis.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Are you.

[Alexis]

Which I'm. I'm pivot. I'm like, I'm starting to not even. I'm trying to not even identify as much. Not that. Yeah. Go to theshiftcreative.com See my work. Hire me, hire me, hire me. Right. Okay.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

But are you correcting people and being like, hey, I also. Yes.

[Alexis]

I don't know if it's correcting as much as maybe like an add on. I'll be like, yeah. And I'm a podcast host and I coach women to be seen.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You know, I'm in the same boat. The Influence Marketing Studio is our money maker. I love it, but I really love helping women feel seen. And that's why Call Her Creator was

[Alexis]

started and you're doing it.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

DMs. Yep. Oh, my God, I needed to hear that episode. That fills me up so much more than them being like, caitlin, I loved your reel, you know?

[Alexis]

Yes. Or like, wow, that social media tip was so good.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

And listen, it is good and it is helping people that is still helping people. Just like my design work is helping people.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Right.

[Alexis]

You know, it's still a service that helps people, but it's just in a different way. And I think I started getting kind of caught up, like working with the brands, showing myself, like on my. On my other page. You kind of get into that world.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

You do.

[Alexis]

And you want to be keeping up with the Joneses. And I don't think I noticed it in the time, but I do think it fed my ego so much.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

No, it's. And I'm there right now.

[Alexis]

Yeah.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

So there's a little bit of ego in it.

[Alexis]

Seriously.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

They're like, oh, there's some ego in it. And it's hard to like, to kind of like. It's hard to separate yourself when you've been known as that girl for so long, that woman for so long, the creative woman, the woman that does the marketing agency, whatever for you. Right. And for me, with the creative end of things, when you are known, that becomes your identity. So there's an identity death I'm currently experiencing.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Okay.

[Alexis]

And I'm learning how to almost rebuild a new business that has nothing to do with me being creative. I have to use it. Use that to get my room, to get my foot in the door, or use it to say, look, I was successful when I did the seven figure business.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yes.

[Alexis]

Okay. Okay. To. To give me some credibility. Because you don't know who. You don't know who I am.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

You know, to trust me with your investment, you know, and becoming the best version of yourself. So I have to use it. But there's definitely identity death. And I've. I've really struggled with that.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I've really struggled for any women that are listening right now and they feel like they're being called to do something that they're more passionate about. Maybe they're stuck in a 9 to 5 or a corporate job, or maybe they've stayed at home with their babies and they're.

[Alexis]

Right.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

How. What would you tell them to do? What's your best piece of advice for those women?

[Alexis]

Well, one, I think you need to be super clear on your. Why. Because if you just want to, like, start something and you think you're going to start making all this money right away, I just don't think that's true.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Yeah.

[Alexis]

And I think we're in the age of social media where everyone is making a million dollars a week. Right. Everyone is saying, okay, I just started course these courses and now I'm making all this passive income income. I'm not saying everyone's lying. I'm saying it's not as easy as they're making it sound. Like I started a podcast, I started coaching. It's not as easy. So I Just want to, like, pull back the curtain real quick. A little reality check that it's not as easy as people are making it, like, seem on social media, number one. But get super clear on your why. If your why is you want to change people's lives, that's a pretty big why. Or if your why is like, you know, my kids are going to school and I have lost myself. I've lost myself because my identity has been so wrapped up in my kids. I need to find out who I am. That's a pretty big why. Like, get clear on the why. And I think it does help everything else because there's going to be doubt. It's you versus you.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Gosh.

[Alexis]

And your old self wants to stay exactly where you've always been. And it wants to whisper to you that you aren't qualified, that you don't know enough. And it's going to keep you chained. That old version and it will never allow the new version to come through, ever. So you have to take the small steps first. Clear why? Small steps daily. If you try to take off too, if you try to chew too much at first, it can feel a little overwhelming and you might want to kind of go back. But I would say just take the each day, decide who you want to be and make steps to be that person.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

That is a mic drop moment for me. I love that. Alexis, how do you want people to work with you, find you any upcoming projects or fun things you have in the pipeline?

[Alexis]

I am offering group coaching and I do offer one on one coaching. It's higher ticket because I really walk through they're everyone's struggles, the women's struggles, My. My client struggles on a deep level. But I do, I am offering group coaching coming up here end of July. So. And it still would be intimate. It still would be intimate, but it will allow women to hear from each other. It will give them that accountability. Yes. And so when you hear others stories. Yes, here we are. When you hear other people's stories, then you're like, okay, oh, so you did that and that helped you. And then, you know, so I am opening up the group coaching and then, yes, the one on one. Those are my two main offers that I have right now. And the whole premise, you guys, is, you know, you're hearing my story, you're hearing Caitlin's story. At one point in our lives, we chose to hide. We chose to not be seen. And in a series of events that we had to do that, we had to take action. We decided we do not know we no longer want to hide. We want to be seen. We want to be visible in one way or another. And the only way we could do that is to be brave enough to take the next best step each and every day and to push through, honestly, to work through those unhealed parts of ourselves, right? So we have to do the work, and that's the work that I do with my. With my coaching client.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

I love that. Sign me up. Sign me up. I have so many girls that need you. I know there's a ton of DMs I get to all the time. Like, I know we needed your voice today, so I'm so grateful that you said yes to me, and I'm so glad I took a chance on you.

[Alexis]

Thank you. Thank you so much.

[Kaitlyn Rhodes]

Thank you. This is awesome. And if you guys want to follow Alexis, I'll put all of her stuff in the show notes for you guys. Follow her, get, send her a dm. She checks them, she replies to them, and get into that coaching. But thank you so much for today.

[Alexis]

Thank you.