← Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
175. The 3 Habits Keeping You Small (And How to Break Every Single One in 30 days)
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This episode is sponsored by Shopify, Whatnot and Storyblocks. If you've ever dreamed of turning your ideas into a business, Shopify makes it so much easier. Whether you're selling products, digital downloads, or building a brand from scratch, Shopify gives you everything you need to create a beautiful online store without the tech headache. Love finding amazing deals. Whatnot is the largest live shopping marketplace in the country, where you can discover everything from collectibles and beauty products to fashion and home goods while shopping live with sellers in real time. It's interactive, fun, and full of incredible finds. And if you're creating content like I am, Storyblocks is a game changer. Instead of spending hours searching for the perfect stock footage, music, or sound effects, Storyblocks gives you unlimited access to a massive library of high quality creative assets so you can create content faster and make it look incredible. Ready to check these out? Start your business with Shopify by signing up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com CHC download the whatnot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search wh a t n o t whatnot in the App Store and start scoring amazing deals. And bring your creative ideas to life with storyblocks by visiting storyblocks.com CHC hello, hello, and welcome back to Call Her Creator podcast. Today's episode is a good D. Can I just tell you a good D? Because there are so many of you out there that are playing small. You're playing so small, and I don't know if it's because you're scared or if you just don't have the proper training. So your girl is in here today because I am going to get you unstuck. Okay? We're going to be talking about the three habits that are keeping you small and how we can break every single one of those in the next 30 days. Have you guys ever noticed that the life that you truly want and the life that you're living are usually just separated by one uncomfortable decision? Seriously? The business you want, you just need to say yes and start the business. The body you want, you just need to go to the gym. The relationships you want, Is there communication that's missing that? That's all it takes from you is a phone call? The confidence you want, Is it you just saying yes to things? Almost every version of your next level life is sitting on the other side of something that makes you wildly uncomfy. Okay? Wildly uncomfy. And I've been there, I've done that. I'm still doing Things that are wildly uncomfy. But I am never going to reach the life that I want to live if I don't do these uncomfortable things, if I don't send the direct message, if I don't post the video, if I don't speak up in a meeting, if I don't introduce myself, if I don't apply for the opportunity, if I don't pitch myself for that podcast. It's almost always never a lack of information. Like, you have all the information to do it. It's usually just this tiny voice in your head that's saying, do it tomorrow. Wait, what if people judge me? Wait, who do you think you are, anyways? And the crazy thing about all of this is that voice gets so normalized that we stop questioning it. We just assume this is who we are. I'm just shy. I'm just an overthinker. I've never really been a confident person. I just need to work on my mindset. But what if none of that is actually your personality? What if it's just a collection of habits that you've practiced for years? Because here's something that I've been thinking about a lot lately. The woman I know who are building incredible businesses, landing these dream opportunities, speaking on these dream stages, getting invited into the rooms that they used to dream of about. It's not that they're fearless, because they probably are. We're all still a little scared. People that are that. That get on stages every single day, I still hear them say, like, their hands still start shaking before they get on that stage. So it's not like they're magically more confident than us. They've just built different habits that help them get into those positions. And the beautiful thing about habits is, yes, they can be learned, but they can also be unlearned. So today, I wanna walk you guys through the three main habits that I think keep the majority of women playing smaller than they're capable of. And it's not because I want you to feel called out. It's not because I want you to feel bad about yourself or, you know, I'm not trying to scrutinize you at the end of the day, but I want you to recognize because I promise you, if you can just identify these habits and be aware of them, you can change them. And that's what I've been doing with myself in the last two or three years. I. I make very clear awareness to things, and then I figure out how to fix them if they have. If I have to fix them. Say it's a bad habit, maybe it's a good habit. And I'm like, oh, I need to do more of that. The coolest part about all of this is that the reason this has been so top of mind for me is because I've been building something for you Gu over the last few weeks. And it's not a masterclass or a course. It's actually just a free challenge. I realized that there are so many women out there that are just missing the confidence to do the things. So I know you guys can listen to my podcast and I can pour so much into you on the podcast, but I want to actually do the things with you because I think if you really want to grow confidence, you have to collect the evidence that you're capable of it. You have to do the uncomfortable thing again and again and again and again. So as we go through these three habits today, I want you to start noticing which one hits you in the gut. Over the last few months that I've been doing all the things, I've joined masterminds, I've been to networking events, things that I've never done in my life. I've realized that at the end of the day, I really just needed someone to look me in the eyes and tell me that they believed in me and that I could do it. I needed to just practice. And so that's why I created the free Call Her Baddie challenge. I'm linking it in the show notes for you guys, but It's a free 30 day challenge and it's designed to help you stop playing small. I'm going to help you build confidence through messy action. And I'm truly going to train you to become the woman who actually follows through on the life that she keeps saying that she wants. Because contrary to popular belief, I do not think that people are born with confidence. I think that it has to be built, and it gets built every single time you do something that scares you. So we're gonna have 30 days of challenges that are going to stretch your comfort zone, get you seen, put you in rooms where dream opportunities can literally find you. I'm gonna have some live coaching with me. I'm gonna pull in some of my entrepreneur girlfriends who are killing it and can teach you the things that you wanna be taught. You're just too scared to get in the room. Going to get a community of women who are done being the best kept secret in their industry and they're ready to be seen, and we're going to do it together. You're going to have real accountability. 30 confidence reps that change who you become and the opportunities that you're available for. This isn't about becoming somebody new either. It's just about collecting that evidence to finally believe in yourself and believe that you are capable of becoming her. I really want to drill this into your head that no one is born with confidence. Confidence. You earn it. You learn it one uncomfortable decision at a time. So as you're listening to the episode today, if you catch yourself thinking like, oh, she's talking straight to me. I do not want you to just nod your head and move on. I want you to go to the show notes and click join the baddie challenge and get inside, because it's totally free and it is going to transform the F out of you in the next 30 days. All right, let's get into the three habits that are quietly keeping you small. And if you can see me on YouTube right now, I'm squeezing my fingers keeping you this small. We don't want that, right? So this first habit, it's gonna call you out in the best way possible. But habit number one that you've got to stop, you've gotta break it. Is waiting for main character energy before you start something. I think that we've romanticized this idea that one day we're just going to wake up and we're magically. Our life is going to change. We became her. You know exactly what I'm talking about. You think that life's just going to happen for you, to you. You're just going to wake up one day and you're going to be excited to work. You're going to not overthink your Instagram post. You're going to walk into a room like you belong there. You're going to wear the outfit that you actually want to wear instead of wondering if it's too much. You're going to raise your prices without apologiz, going to send the dm. You're going to start the podcast, book the flight hit publish, basically the girl with main character energy. And here's the trap. We've convinced ourselves that she has to show up before we can start acting like her. Oh, I'll post that when I'm a little more confident in myself. Or I'll introduce myself when I have more followers, or I'll pitch myself when I know more. Babe, that version of you isn't going to randomly appear on a Tuesday morning. She is not downloading overnight. She is built. She has built one uncomfortable decision at a time. And I know some of you are asking, well, Caitlin, that's so easy for you to say. You. You just exude confidence. Really? Because the last I checked, when my phone rings, I get hives answering that thing. Sometimes when it comes to ordering a pizza, the phone goes to my husband. Like, I am not confident all the time. Okay? I. I get there by confidence reps. And so sometimes my husband will push the phone back and be like, you call them, Caitlin. And every time I call the pizza man, I get better at calling him again the next time. I really. I don't think people are born with confidence. I definitely wasn't born with it. I think starts with your upbringing one, but also, it's just something. It's like a muscle that you have to work out. You don't just wake up one day and say, where are my abs? You have to go to the gym every single day and work those out. That is the same thing with confidence. You have to literally work that muscle out and put in the reps. I was not born with speaking on stages or 200,000 followers. I wasn't born thinking that people would care about what I have to say. Every single opportunity that I've ever gotten started with a version of me that felt wildly underqualified. Like, literally, like, I don't know if I should do this. I don't think I'm qualified enough. Like, imposter syndrome. But I just did the thing. I recorded podcast episodes before I ever had any amount of listeners. I reached out to people I thought were way out of my league. This is true story. Some of my best clients are people that were way out of my league that I just sent the DM anyways and asked. I spoke before I ever felt like a speaker. And I'm going to tell you, those first speaking gigs, super amateur, like, not the best speaker. But how else are you going to learn unless you don't do it? My prices when I first started my agency, pennies compared to what I'm charging now. But guess what? Almost every single thing that changed my life, I had to do it scared. Because here's the thing that nobody tells you. Confidence is not what's going to create the action. It's actually the messy action that creates the confidence. And we have it completely backwards. We think that confidence is the prerequisite to doing the thing, but it's actually the reward. Every scary thing you do is another piece of evidence that your brain collects, right? Every time you do something uncomfy, your brain says, oh, we survived. Oh, that wasn't so bad. Oh, wait, maybe I can do this. I hear that voice every time I do something super uncomfortable. And so that's why I always say, confidence isn't something that you have. It's something that you earn one uncomfortable rep at a time. And one thing about the baddie challenge is during week one, that's what we're going to be focused on, is those uncomfortable reps because we're done waiting for some magical future version of ourselves to show up and save us. We are becoming her, starting today. Habit number two, making yourself smaller so everyone else feels comfortable. I am raising both of my hands right now because if there was a poster child for this, I am that girl. I remember even from a younger age, making myself smaller so everyone else could feel comfortable. And I wish that someone would have grabbed me by the shoulders and told me, caitlin, playing small doesn't make people like you more. It just makes them more comfortable. Somewhere along the way, especially as women, we've learned that being easy to digest is a compliment. Don't be too much for people. Do not talk about your wins. Do not be too ambitious. Don't be too loud. Don't make people uncomfortable. Don't take up too much space. And then, without realizing it, we start editing ourselves before anyone else ever gets the chance. Are you editing yourself today? Are you dumbing things down? Are you making light of situations when someone gives you a compliment? Are you uno. Reversing that back over to them? You can't handle a compliment. That's me. I do it all the time. I'm working on it. That's one that I really have to work on all the time. I'm starting to learn, like, if someone says, oh, I love that dress, you know what? You can say thank you so much, and that be it. You don't have to be like, oh, thanks, it was only, like, $10 from blah, blah, blah. Do you do that? Because I do that. And I realized that that was me trying to deflect a compliment. We don't post the selfie because we don't want people to think we're full of ourselves. We don't talk about our offer or our launch because what if I get on people's nerves? What if nobody buys? Or we don't tell people what we actually do because we don't want to sound salesy or we don't apply for the opportunity because there are probably way more qualified people anyways. Does that sound familiar to you? Here's the thing that breaks my heart about all this. We call it being humble, patient, not wanting to bother people. But psychologically, if we are being honest with ourselves, it is fear. Because if you stay small, nobody can criticize the version of you they never met. But you want to know what the trade is that you're making. You are also making it impossible to for people to hire you, to recommend you, to refer you, to invite you, to support you. You guys know I'm constantly creating content between my podcasts, Instagram, and the content we create for our agency clients, one tool that's become an essential part of my workflow is Storyblocks. Storyblocks is a 100% human made stock media library built for creators. It gives you access to millions of professionally curated footage, clips, music tracks, sound effects, templates and images. Every asset made by a professional filmmaker or artist, never AI generated, and everything is professionally curated, pre licensed and ready to use and monetize content under one subscription. Personally, I use Storyblocks when I need B roll, music, visuals or just creative assets to elevate my content without spending hours searching online. It's helped me streamline my content creation process and it saved me so much time each week. One of my favorite features is that unlimited downloads let you test and experiment freely. And there are thousands of customizable templates for your favorite editing platforms. Head over to storyblocks.com CHC to access the human made stock media library that's essential to my workflow. And for a limited time, they're offering 15% off any annual plan. And that discount is only available through my link. Again, that's storyblocks.com CHC for 15% off annual plans. If you've been sitting on a business idea, let me tell you something. You do not need everything figured out before you start. I know so many people have an idea for a course, a digital product, a physical product, or a service they're passionate about. But they keep waiting because they think they need the perfect website or all the systems in place first. That's exactly why I love Shopify. Everything you need to start selling is included and ready from day one so you can stop overthinking and actually launch. And when your first customer is ready to buy, Shopify checkout helps more of them complete their purchase. Even better, when they come back, their information is already saved, so checking out is fast and easy. Because Shopify takes care of the setup and the checkout experience, you have more time to focus on what actually grows your business, creating content, serving your customers, and getting your brand in front of more people. Plus, you're building on the same platform, trusted by millions of businesses worldwide, from brands like Mattel and Gymshark to entrepreneurs who are making their very first sale with Shopify. Nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial@shopify.com CHC that's shopify.com CHC One more time, shopify.com CHC I heard someone say once, you can't be deeply loved if you're only showing people the edited version of yourself. And I think the same thing is true in business. You can't become the obvious choice if nobody knows who you are. Every single opportunity that I've ever had, Forbes feature, working with meta, partnering with Adobe, podcast, guesting, brand partnerships, none of those happen because I was the most talented person that they could find. I promise you, there are people way more talented than me, but they happen because people knew I existed. Visibility is currency. It's not vanity. It's accessibility. It's people having the chance to find you. And I think there are so many women who have convinced themselves that hiding is humility, when really it's fear. Wearing this really cute pink dress. And so that's why, for the baddie challenge in week two, the theme drum roll, let the world meet her. And it's not me teaching you to be louder. It's just teaching me. It's just me teaching you how to stop apologizing for taking up space because the world cannot support you, sister if it never has a chance to even meet you. The world cannot support you if it never has the chance to meet you. It never has the chance to see you because you're hiding. All right, habit number three, and this one's probably my favorite. Do you find yourself quitting things when they get uncomfortable? This is not me, actually. I typically am not a quitter. I am like a go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go getter. I might suck at it, but I'm gonna still go for it. But I've met a lot of women who start over every Monday. Okay, why is it every time life gets hard, we suddenly become obsessed with the idea of starting over? I'll start on Monday. Oh, next month is going to be my month. Oh, yeah. I'll start that diet after vacation. Oh, yeah. After the kids go back to school. I'll totally do that. Oh, yeah. After everything settles down, for sure, I'm in. Does that sound familiar to you? Meanwhile, you've started over so many times. So you're, like, really good at day one, but you're terrible at day 12 because the second that things stop feeling exciting for you, you assume that something's wrong. You miss one workout, and suddenly the whole week is ruined. You can't. You can't go for the rest of the week. We're gonna just start back up next week. You skip posting for two days. Oh, you've completely fallen off. You now cannot post for a long time because that comeback post has to be perfect. You launch something, and it doesn't sell as fast as you had hoped. So you tell yourself, hmm, maybe this isn't for me, but, no, you just experienced being a beginner. And beginners are supposed to be awkward, y'. All. They're supposed to be awkward. You know how awkward it is for me to launch this baddie challenge? This isn't what I do. I do Instagram. I do social media. I own a social media agency. I talk about marketing. Who does she think she is coming in with this baddie challenge confidence? What? Who is she? She's so cringe. She's embarrassing. If those were the things that I believed, I would never be launching this challenge. I would never be getting to work with incredible women. One thing that someone told me the other day, and I think I've talked about this before on the podcast, but if you get this urge to do something in your heart, it is because someone else in the world has this pain that you need to solve. You are the best person to solve it. So I know in my heart that this baddie challenge has been put into my heart because there's someone out there that needs me to tell them that it's okay not to shrink. You don't have to be quiet all the time. You don't have to not be confident. You don't have to not talk about yourself. You do not have to. I don't know. There's so many things. There's so many things when I think about the baddie challenge. Like, why am I doing this? I think I. I think I have a gift of helping women feel seen. And I think it's because I struggled with feeling seen growing up. I had divorced parents. Like, the best thing for me to do was just be quiet. Don't cause any ruckus. And then high school came, and I was so shy. I was painfully shy. I was still. Here's the thing. Some of you might look back and be like, but you were a cheerleader, Caitlin. But you got nominated for homecoming queen. Yeah, because I was super kind and I was a great person if you knew me. But I was still painfully shy. Things made things were painful for me to do, but I did them anyways because I wholeheartedly wanted to be seen so bad. So I did the things. And I think there are a lot of women out there who can relate to that. They can relate to wanting to feel seen. They know they have some magic in them that they could spread to more people if they just had the confidence to show up. And another reason I'm starting this challenge is I think that there are a lot of women who miss out on life changing opportunities because no one knows they exist. So something you'll hear me say a lot is I want you to stop being the best kept secret in your industry because there are very talented women that are just not putting themselves out there. And I'm not saying that this challenge is going to be like a, oh, look at me. Look what I can do. All eyes on me. I'm the movie star. Main character energy. I know we talked about that, but it's like, no, that's. That's not what this is. I'm not trying to get you to put yourself out there and flaunt and, and show off. I just want you to give yourself a chance to step into the light and bring your true self to the surface and completely surprise yourself at how many people see you as this beautiful, charming, shiny thing. I don't want to say object, but like this beautiful, charming. Think of like the beautiful seashells that you find when you're at the beach. Like, there's so many seashells coming in, right? And some of them are broken and ugly and I don't know, like there's just some seashells that are not pretty. Right? I'm not going to sugarcoat it, but then sometimes you'll get this really shiny, beautiful seashell that, that comes up on the beach and that's. That's what you are. But you're not giving yourself a chance to be seen because you're scared. And so that's where I come in. That's where I'm gonna come in and help you get out of your own way. Because there is enough to go around. And life is too short to keep imagining your dream life but not going after it because you think you don't have the resources or the right people. I didn't have the resources or the right people in my corner either. I just did it. I just started posting to Instagram every single day. And eventually all of that work, snowball effect into where I am now. But I had to Put in uncomfortable reps every single day. I had to do the work every single day to get to where I'm at. But you can do it, too, and it can become second nature to you if you can just keep practicing over and over and over again. So, anyways, enough with my ramp, my rant. I just. I'm very passionate about the baddie challenge, and so I don't. I don't think that you need more proof here. Proof that you can survive being seen, proof that you can speak before you're ready, proof that you can introduce yourself. Can you guys, for a second, just imagine if you toddlers quit learning how to walk the way adults quit learning new things. They'd fall once, look around, think, ew, that was so embarrassing. And then they would just crawl forever. But they don't. They fall down, they cry, they get back up. And eventually walking becomes second nature to them. So why do we expect ourselves to master the confidence, the visibility, the business, the speaking, the leadership without ever looking awkward? Your goal shouldn't be to never fall off because you're gonna fall sometimes, but your goal should be to get back up faster. And that's where consistency helps. Consistency is not perfection. Consistency is just shortening the amount of times between. Crap. I just messed up, too. I'm back, bitches. That's it. The women that you admire, they don't have more motivation than you. They've just stopped treating one bad day like it erased all of the progress that they're made that they've made. One missed workout does not make them unhealthy. One bad reel doesn't make them bad at content. One rejection doesn't make them unqualified. One awkward podcast interview does not mean that they're not meant to speak. The woman that you're trying to become isn't built because she never gets discouraged, because you will get discouraged. She's built because she stopped letting discouragement make her quit. Anyone can feel motivated for a weekend. The real flex is showing up after that excitement has worn off, after the novelty fades, after nobody's clapping, after you don't feel like it anymore because that's when your identity is actually built. So if you're someone who's constantly waiting for another Monday, another month, another fresh start, I want to challenge you to not start over, Just pick right back up. It's a huge difference, because every time you stop starting over and you just simply continue, you become the kind of woman who trusts herself. And I think that's one of the baddest things you can become. I think every woman listening to this podcast has two versions of herself living inside. There's the woman that she is today, and there's the woman that she catches a little glimpse of, the one that speaks up in meetings and finally starts the business and isn't afraid to post the video. The one who walks into a room believing she belongs there. The one who says that she actually thinks this is wrong or she actually really believes in this mission. And if I'm being honest with y', all, I don't think the thing standing between those two women is talented. I think that it's just reps. It's evident. It's doing the uncomfortable thing over and over until your brain finally says, oh, I guess this is just who we are now. So that's why I created the Call her baddie challenge. I don't think you need more proof. I don't think you need more information. I think that you just need to do some uncomfortable things to build that confidence. So for the next 30 days in the baddie challenge, I will coach you through becoming her. Every single week, you're gonna get a challenge. Some days it'll push you. Some days it's gonna make you uncomfortable. Some days, you'll probably wanna skip it. Good. That's where the magic happens. But by the end of those 30 days, my goal is not for you to have more followers or even a better business. My goal is that you trust yourself more. Because once a woman trusts herself, girl, everything changes. Those opportunities come. She shows up online, she's more confident, she shines, everything. So if you've been listening to me yap, and you're like, wow, she is talking to me, don't let this become another podcast where you just nod your head to go join the baddie challenge. It is in the show notes. It's completely free. The woman that you've been waiting for, she is actually waiting on you too. All right, I'll see you in the challenge.