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Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
Ep 85. The 3 Core Wounds That Keep Women Undercharging and Overworking Featuring Shamina Taylor
00:46:47
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- [00:00]
A
Today's conversation is going to feel like a deep exhale for every high achieving woman who's been stuck in that Go, go, go, go, go Hustle cycle. We're talking about what it really takes to create wealth without the burnout and why constant overdrive might be doing more harm than actual good for your health, creativity, and even your bank account. Today I have the amazing Shamina Taylor. She's here to challenge everything you've been taught about hustle culture and replace it with a more gentler, more regulated approach to business growth. One that doesn't require sacrificing your nervous system for success. Hey, friend, welcome back to Call Her Creator. Powered by your all in One Creator store, Stan. Stan is the easiest way for you.
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B
To make money online.
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A
All of your courses, digital products and bookings are hosted within your link in bio. And if you're ready to start your free trial, visit my show notes and click my affiliate link to get started today. Shamina, I kind of want to tell who you are, but I kind of want you to tell. But like, what I've known, what I've learned about you is that you were a former attorney and then you turned into a bestselling author. So, like, let's kind of go into like, tell us who you are, what you're doing, what you're all about, and then we'll get into the nitty gritty. But give us your, your intro.
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B
Sure. I am a former attorney. I'm a mama of two amazing children, so that is like my number one job. And I'm a solo mom. So I've been doing it by myself for a while and like 13 years. And I run a multimillion dollar business and I'm helping other women become millionaires and live their best life because I believe you get to have it all. And I've helped women, you know, reach that higher level of success. We've helped 51 women become millionaires and 248 women have hit their highest. Sorry, 348 women hit their highest cash ones, highest cash weeks or highest cashiers. I help break those ceilings for other women so that they can see what's possible for them and do it in a way that you get to really enjoy your life. Because I believe freedom is the way to enjoy everything that you've created instead of having to work so hard for it.
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A
Wow. Yes. I love that. And you're a powerhouse, because I also have two children and I run this business and it's not for the faint of heart. We'll say that much with children, but they are my number one job too. So when I was doing my stalking of you, something that really resonated with me and which is why I was like, I have to talk to her, is not a lot of people know that hustle can actually be a trauma response in that blew my mind. And I think that's why I'm such a high achieving woman is because of the trauma in my life. Not saying it was terrible, but you know, we've all got our own definition of trauma. But tell me what do you mean by that when you say hustle is a trauma response?
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B
Well, when we're in that busy mode all the time where you're like, okay, I've got this like booked out schedule, I've got to do all these things. You know, your to do list is like 30 plus things in a day and you're getting up at 5am because it's the only way to get a million things done. And you're constantly busy. But not being still in presence or if you actually slow down, it feels like you're being lazy. Usually it's because we can't sit and still in our bodies because if we stay in our bodies, then all the things that we're running from creep up really quickly into our lives and we can't handle it. So I speak from experience because I am a high performer, a high achiever. I've been like my whole life is, you know, I said earlier, I'm an attorney. I was in school forever, three degrees, you know, just keep going, going, going. And even after I graduated, it was non stop. Even when I had my kids in the beginning years, it was nonstop. So when you have to be busy, stillness is really hard. I don't know if you ever notice when you're like scrolling or you find yourself like going to pick up your phone to scroll and you know you've got a million things to do. And a lot of people will associate that, gosh, I'm being lazy right now. But it could be one of two things. It could be like, you know, I really just need a break and I just need to scroll for this moment. Or it could be like I'm running away from actually having to do things. So this is like another way of me, you know, trying to regulate my nervous system by looking at something else. And so when most people don't have a regulated nervous system, they're on all the time because that's the only way they know how to find stillness and calmness to regulate their nervous system is like, if I'm on, on, on, on, on, then they can go, go, go, go, go. There's no moment for you to sit and feel. And if you can't feel, then you don't know that you're dysregulated. Does that make sense? So I found through my research and through mentoring thousands of women, there's a pattern. And, you know, a lot of women are called masculine or they're told they're masculine. And it's had kind of like a negative connotation for a really long time. Like, look at her. She's, you know, I was a lawyer, so I mean, like, we don't get any more masculine than that. You know what I mean? Like, you have to bring those big balls into court and do what you got to do, because if you. If you don't, you're, you know, you get eaten alive. So you have to show up that way. However, a lot of the times we go into that masculine state is because we are. We've turned off our emotions and we go into a do mode. So that's what we talked about earlier, to stay active, keep busy. And if you don't have to feel an emotion and you just process by working and moving, then you never have presence and stillness. However, our soul and our feminine energy craves presence and stillness. That's where creativity comes from. It's where the nurturing comes from. It's where our receivership comes from, is where we can sit and trust that intuitiveness that comes through. Because I know you and many of your listeners and, you know, you're very intuitive, but you don't always listen to the intuition because you'll sit there and go, like, let me overthink it or let me do something else. I used to be a number one overthinker. If you looked up the overthinking, the, you know, dictionary, you'd see a picture of me, you know, overanalyzer, and I would brag about it because I'm like, I'm going to overthink everything and, you know, planning, strategizing, and making sure that, you know, everything is okay. That's like a masculine energy. And a lot of the times we do that is because we don't want to face any disappointment or let down or when that next shoe drops. So if I can stay busy, keep myself moving, plan out every single thing so that I can know the how, when, and whatever, embrace myself for it, then I will never get hurt and I'll never have to feel any of these unresolved emotions inside of me. And I'll just keep doing. But then what happens is that that only can go for so long because that performance energy hits a wall, you start feeling exhausted. The. The payoff is not hitting the same way. And you actually don't have a regulated nervous system.
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A
You.
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You're not in your body, you're not feeling your emotions, and you, you create like a fake Persona around your life. And it's like, that's when you get into survival state. And so many women, they hit that place where they're actually just surviving, they're not thriving. And it's scary to think about, if I stop doing this, what will happen?
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A
Oh, my God. That's where I'm at right now. If I stop, what. What's going to happen? How did you get into all of this? Like, did you have a coming to Jesus moment? Like, walk us through that? Because we women, we love to hear. Not that we ever want others to go through it, but it's so. It feels good when you know you're not alone in this. So kind of walk us through your personal story.
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B
So, January 2013, I. Well, a couple months prior to that, I just finished a bodybuilding competition. I was really big into figure competitiveness and because I only knew how to fix the outside, not the inside, right? So. And I was always somebody that was challenging myself. Like triathlons, whatever. I was always challenging myself to see what. Get myself out of my comfort zone. It was always. I've always been a high performer that way. But we had just finished a bodybuilding competition, and my girlfriend was gonna teach a yoga class. The news wanted to do a story on her, and I wanted to be on the. I want to be on tv. So I'm like, I'm gonna go. I'd only been to yoga, like three times, but I'm like, here's my breakout moment to be a star. So went in there with my best Lululemon on, and she had my mat set up in the middle of the class, towards the edge. Cause she knew I was not very good at this. But let me tell you, I went in there and I went to the cameraman, I said, hey, don't pan on me too much, because I don't know what I'm doing. But basically I was gonna say, hey, the star has arrived. Look at me, you know, kind of thing. That's where my ego was at the time. And so I put my phone beside me and I. I made a vow that moment that I was going to win yoga. That Day because I was highly competitive woman and such a control freak. So I went into this. My girlfriend started talking, and she had us. Do I maybe, like, 150 dog downs. And so I was getting irritated and really annoyed with her because I felt like she was showing off. And I looked down at my phone, and I had 45 minutes left. And I'm like, okay, I am not going to make it. But of course I'm going to make it, because I. Pain is my. Is my thing. I love. Like, give me more. I'll push through. So as we're going through this, she. At one point, she goes, put your leg one way and then put your leg the other way. And remember, I am not proficient in yoga, but again, I'm going to win. So I put my leg one way, my leg the other way, and I grabbed the cork thing because I was. I was not beyond that. I could get that and hold onto it, you know? So I grab onto the quirky thing, and as I'm sitting there in this pose, she starts talking, and she's like, are you. Are you happy with your life? And I'm like. In that moment, I'm like, I don't even remember who Shamina is. And I'm suffering through this pose, right? And I'm sitting there going, I don't. I don't even remember who. I remember distinctly saying this to myself in this class. Who is Shamina? I'm someone's mom. I'm someone's husband, wife. I'm. I'm someone's this, that, and the other is. But I felt like I lost myself. And in that moment, I was struggling to go into this pose, and I was pressing and pushing my body. And as I was doing that, like, this physical pain just started bubbling up inside of me. And this. As she's talking, I'm like, my life is Groundhog Day. And this pain is bursting. She's questioning me. I'm getting angrier. And then this pain, and I'm pushing through this pain, and all of a sudden, this dam just broke. And I just started, like, bawling my eyes out. Like, that physical pain turned into, like, this emotional pain. And I had this like. Like where it was like, okay, you get to release. Cause I don't remember the last time I. It was, like, decades, because I was a. I was the ice queen. I shoved my emotions down, and I would just freeze mode, and I just would not feel anything through. So in that moment, everything was coming up, and I was. I was sitting there, laying there, whatever it Was. And I was just questioning my entire life. I stayed in that post for the next 45 minutes and had the ugliest cry of my life. It was the most freeing moment. I felt like I had this spiritual connection that I think if there was a white light to come down on you in that moment, and it was like, okay, this is your time to wake up, lady. You know? And as I finished crying, people came up and was rubbing my back. I. I had snot everywhere. And I was like, okay, something in my life has to change because I can't unsee what I just experienced and felt. Two days later, I went home. Didn't talk to my husband at the time. Two days later, we had the biggest talk we had ever had. And we realized we were both just living as roommates. This guy was my, like, partner, my best friend. We. People had pictures of our wedding on their wall. Like we had become roommates. We were just in survival state. And we went to a therapist and they said it was probably good for him to move out because women. I read something the other day that women, when they're ready to end a marriage, they were ready like two years ago. And so they. They just hold on. And like, I hated the way he ate crackers, you know, or carrots and. And it was not his fault. It was like, me, like, we can. And when you're a high. Like you're a high achiever and you're a woman who can sustain survival state, you will go past the expiration of when you should jump, you know? And he moved out. And it was. It was the craziest time of my life. And I started getting these. We never. We never got back together again. We ended up getting a divorce. But I went on a spiritual journey for. I don't know, it was like three and a half years. But that moment was. It set it off. I was. I was. I was seeking answers. I wanted to know, how did my perfect life get here? How did I do all the things they told me I was supposed to do? And for success, I mean, we had the million dollar house. We went to Europe in the summertime, we went to the Caribbean in the winter. I had nice things. He was. We were a power couple. Like, we were. We had a boy and a girl, like our mansion. We had everything, you know, and like. And I think that all the things that I thought were supposed to make me happy didn't. Because I was disconnected from myself of just doing and achieving all the time, and nothing ever made me feel like I was good Enough, you know, because I had a core wound, and we'll talk about it in a minute. Of unworthiness. So I was always seeking more and more and more. I was like, okay, what was next? What was next? What was next? And so that spiritual journey for three and a half years, I call it monk mode. I went into this deep dive of how does a woman who was like me, who's highly successful, get into this place instead of going to date someone else? Which I had a moment where I did for like a couple week months. But after that, I was like, I had to figure out how I got here. So I. Spiritual teachers dead and alive. And remember, I'm a lawyer. And so when this stuff was happening to me, I was questioning my entire existence. I'm like, am I losing my mind? And I really was. I was like, I was un. Becoming that woman. I had to shift my entire identity to create the woman that I am today. And I have not stopped. It's been, you know, 12, 13 years. And I feel like I'm the best shamina that I've ever become. I healed my trauma. I had a really hard upbringing as a child. Like, my dad was violent and very emotionally abusive. And you can go listen to my podcast and listen to it. But I had an incident where it did put into a survival state, and I. I just kept in. In that place. And when we don't have a protective masculine energy in our lives, we as women create our own false version of it. And this is why women go into their own masculine due state. And they armor up like, our masculine was not meant for us, to provide safety to us, Our feminine was. But if you don't have a safe figure around you, you're going to create your own safety. And this is why a lot of people have a disjointed relationship with money and wealth. And it's because they're. They're looking for that masculine to save them, but they're created their own. And anyway, that's. That's where I am right now. And it's. It's. I came online and I left the practice of law in the most perfect time. It was like three months before 2020 March. I feel like. I feel like I have higher purposes calling me. I didn't know what the heck I was doing back in 2013, but I went through a lot of healing. I just kept listening to the voices and the signs, and I followed the path this way. And I came online, I said, I'm gonna make a million dollars this year. And And I did. I made a million in the year. And it's been amazing what I've achieved, and my kids and I have the best life now.
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A
Oh, this is such a good. I just did a podcast episode on Becoming, and you're talking about the unbecoming. So this is, like, I swear, God's divine timing hearing from you. So as you're unbecoming. Walk us through that part. Like, did you quit your job and go away for those. For that time? Because you said you got into, like, your monk era, kind of. What. What. What happened?
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B
I. I reduced how much I was practicing law. I had my own law firm, and I had some money in savings, and I was just. I went part time, I guess I would say. Like, I just kind of pulled back and I was. And I. I actually went to a place where I was, like, barely making it with money, to be honest with you, because, you know, every time I went to go do a deal or anything else, it just didn't set my soul on fire. And I was like, okay, I've got to figure something else out. There's something else calling to me. And it was a really hard few years, to be quite honest with you, because you have to live on. You have this lavish life with two incomes, you know, and then you go to not. And I wanted to keep my house because I wanted my kids to have something that was central and grounded for them. And my house was not something that I could afford really on my own. So I had to figure some stuff out. So it was. It was a very long jump, and I had to be all in, though. And I think that because I had no backup plan, the only option was this was going to work. Like, my kids needed Mom. Like, I had a moment where I was like, well, we lose the house. I'm gonna go live in my car. At the time I had a sequoia, and I will go shower at Lifetime. I was having these ridiculous, like, thoughts about how I was going to do this, and then I was like, no, we. We need to figure this out. So I. It became my goal to, like, learn how to really have a better relationship with money and heal my scarcity mindset, because I knew that was getting in the way of creating what I wanted. My scarcity mindset came from my victimness, from all the things that happened in my life that I hadn't really, you know, allowed myself to process. So I started really mastering my emotions. I'm like, if I can master my emotions, I could do anything, because I felt like my Emotions ran me. So that was really the deep work that I did. And honestly, like survivor, I was in a survival state. Like I had sometimes more month than money, like because of how it was working out, you know, and it was, it was, you know, cause I had, I had, my ex husband was giving me alimony and some child support, but it wasn't enough to survive like on, you know, take care of everything. But he was very generous in that way.
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A
Oh my goodness, your story is amazing. So then how do you get to where you are now? Like, tell us about that.
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B
Well, I had a vision, you know, and I would journal. And I actually want to go grab my journals from the basement because I, I, I said to myself, I saw other women and I would Google and I would look at other women. I'm like, look at what she's created. Look what she's done. And not to the point, like, oh, I'm jealous. I'm like, oh, she's done it then it can be done then, you know, And I always, I have this saying in my business, if she can, I can. So I just was like, well, I'm really smart. Well, I need to just figure out how to do this on my own. But the real big thing is, is that it wasn't something to figure out. It was who I needed to be. And because I, there was no, there was no solution to fixing it. I had to become this woman. So when there was no money around, I had to become the wealthiest version of myself. So then I'm like, what does this wealthy version of me look like? Well, she's not going to sit and look at her bank account because that's. It was on life support. Like I was taking screenshots. I'm like, one day this is going to be a badass joke. I'm going to put it in a book. And really I am doing that now with my next book that I'm writing. And you know, we're going to laugh about it being in the red zone. And I'm like, well, that's not my current reality because right now I'm going to create from here. Because the universe doesn't know the difference between what's reality and what's not. So I'm going to quantum leap and get myself into the state. So I started doing the craziest things I would do like every single day. I would meditate for an hour. I meditated for like eight years for over an hour every day. I did breath work, I did journaling, I did every healing modality you can think of. You know, I would like candles, like, money candles. I would get oils, put them everywhere. Like, I would do anything. I got mala beads. I was chanting. I read every single money book that was out there. I'm like, I am not going down on the ship because we don't got a boat anymore. Like, we're just done. Like, we burned the bridges. We are out here at sea. We need to figure this out, you know, And. And I turned everything around, and I. I literally committed to breaking the belief systems that I had before. And then I just became a master at it. And when I started realizing that I was doing it, people kept asking me, like, what are you doing? And I'm like, maybe I need to teach course about this. But it was freaking me out because I'm like, I've never done a course before.
- [19:03]
A
I've taken another course, thinking, like, okay, it's time to work with Shamina. Like, you're saying all the things. I'm happy in my marriage. It's not that. But there are things down deep down. I think you had said core wounds that I haven't figured out about that. Which, yes, I want to talk about that. But it sounds like it was a. It was almost like mindset commitment for you. So you got into this positive. You weren't just like, this is what I hate. People get in these situations. Sometimes it's even situations that they put themselves in and they sit there and it's the blame game, negativity. You did the complete opposite of that.
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B
Took ownership for my life. And for the first time, I was no longer. No one else was to blame. Not my parents, not anybody. It was me, and I was only me. Because I had these two kids that I created. I needed to give them everything. And then, you know, I felt a lot of guilt about leaving my ex husband to. To say yes to myself, because my kids deserve a father. Even though I didn't have the best version of a father, my kids deserved a father. And so I had a lot of guilt. Even though he had his own issues, and it was good and healthy in the end. But I noticed that as I started healing certain things, I would start manifesting things or creating things. And I was like, and I thought I created, manifesting. It's so crazy because I'm like, telling my girlfriend was like, look what happened again. Like, look at this. Like, I literally removed that belief and, like, it showed up, you know, and I started getting addicted to it. So I was like, okay, what else can I get out of my Way well how much more resistance can I remove? Because if I'm a clean slate then I can create anything with my mind. So that's exactly what I did. I dug in deep. And I'm not telling people to go and find all your core wounds, but I'm telling you if there's something that you desire in this world and you look around your environment and it isn't there, nine times out of ten it's because of you. So when I took that ownership and I still do it now, I do it with everything. I do with everything. And I have like a really cool four step system that I just, you know, I was journaling about yesterday I talked to my, my millionaire club group and I have another group called the wealthy CEO Woman and women and the wealthy CEO. And it's like when you have a desire, it's so different from a goal. When you're in that masculine state you are trying to achieve something usually for validation because anything of the having of it is because it's how it's going to make us feel. Right? So for my self she was driven for, I needed to feel important validation, I needed approval because I internally didn't have those things in my life and they came from the core wounds which I'll talk about in a minute. So I was always proving like, I mean I got three degrees. I was, you know, I'm going to be the best, I'm going to do the best, you know, going to do the races. I wanted to win like winning at all costs was like so important for me because then it will show you that look at me, I'm good enough. And I, I had this, this thing. Whereas everything had to be hard to earn it and, and I had to earn love. I had to earn that because it wasn't freely given to me. And so, so going through that process I realized like wait, I can shift my entire life. So desires for me comes from a soul self and all of that was cut off. My feminine, feminine energy was literally cut off because it wasn't safe to be in my emotions as your feminine. It wasn't safe for me to trust. I didn't trust people. Trust was such a hard thing for me to do and I had to like have concrete evidence and I had to do things that were methodical and be in my, my mind. So I had all these superpowers all cut off of me. So as I started doing this work I started saying well wait, a desire is the highest connection for you to receive anything. I have a g Wagon that's sitting in the garage. And I literally would sit there from. I'm like, I desired that. I saw a woman having. I'm like, I desire that. It's different than wanting it because I. It's like, I didn't want it to prove that I was successful. I desired it because it looked badass and I wanted to drive it. I wanted, like, this Cartier. I saw her. I saw a lady with one. I'm like, oh, I want this. I saw a lady with a Rolex. I'm like, oh, I desire these things. And it's not because they're material things. And I want people to understand this. It's like, before I was material driven. I needed those things for validation. Now they're like, while having them, I feel pretty every time I look down at, like, when I made my first million, I went and bought these. I'm like, it represents, like, the success that I had. I look what I could do, you know, and so that's the shift and change. So if you. Everything that you're creating comes from a desired state, then it comes from an emotion that you want to feel. It's like the next step, the emotional state that you want to feel. And if you are disconnected from your emotions because you're cutting them off and you're in that masculine state, your chances of actually creating your reality and using. Using energetics or using, you know, just the pure frequency that you want to be on. You're, you're, you're. You're blocking off, like 70% of the success. Because if everything was down to strategy, that everybody would be successful. If it was matter of just doing something, everybody would be successful. But the first thing I always go to a woman, I'm like, well, what are you thinking right now? Like, what. What are you emotionally. What's your emotional state? So I teach women about emotional mastery. I have a program on it. It is the. The regulator for emotions. Because when your emotions are dysregulated, you cannot create, right? It's just impossible to do. So I tell people to go to the emotional wheel, Start with that. Start saying, like, I feel instead of, I think, because it starts activating like an emotion. Like when I ask people to describe their emotions, you would be so surprised how many women don't know how to describe what their emotions are because they've been cut off. They know anger because anger is on top of what's underneath, right? So, and then the next step is like the embodiment or the, the activation, the anchoring in of like, the. The feeling. So when. When you' through this process, it's hard to believe it's true or see the results or celebrate yourself. Like, when I was manifesting my G wagon, let's say. I want to say manifesting, because I don't like that word. Like, creating my reality is more of my thing, because I feel like I'm in control. I think that people have watered down manifesting, but I would try. I was driving this old Toyota, and I was pretending I was driving it. I was feeling the emotions. And literally a few months later, they had none in stock. This was back in 2021. 2022. 2022. And it came into stock. It was 2022. It came into stock. There was eight came into the country, and I got one of them, and it was like. Like, this is my system. When I healed my emotions and I rewired my mindset. Like, your neural pathways are there for fight and flight, but if you can allow yourself to get out of that masculine, it's fight or flight what you're in. Like, that's what it is. Because you can't be in your body when you can get out of that state and then go into this regulated state. You can create anything you want, and then, of course, it's done right? So when I came online and said I was gonna make a million dollars in a year, I left it. I didn't worry about it because you don't worry about the pen being missing because you have it. So when people are searching for more money or searching for the thing, it's because they believe they don't have it. And that puts you right into lack. So that's kind of like, you know, it's so much more deeper. What I, you know, when I go through this, when I look at three core wounds. Abandonment, betrayal, and unworthiness. And these are. This is like a shortcut for you to see where you might be. And for a lot of women, when they reach a million dollars, in my world, one of the things that we'll go through is finding out which one of those core wounds or all of them do they have. You know, if someone has inconsistent cash months, I can look and say, okay, what's so hard for you to hold on to big money? I asked my group last week, if I gave you a million dollars right now, what would be your first thought that would come in? Like, that would be, like, not positive. Right. And the thoughts that came up were, I don't know if I can do this again. I don't know if I can hold this money. That's a lot of money. My family's gonna come and ask me for that money. How much taxes do I have to pay? And you will see inherently what their truest beliefs are, because your subconscious mind, it is so freaking powerful if you do not control it. And your subconscious is always telling you, stove is hot, stove is hot. So if you've got an incident or a belief that's attached to one of these core wounds in the past, it is going to be protecting you with blinders on. And you won't even realize that you're doing it. It's happened to me so many times. I'm like, I can't believe. Look at me, I've been doing this over and over again and it's been right here in front of my nose. But that's what the subconscious does. It doesn't sit there and ask you, ask you. It. It's fed from your emotional state. So your emotions will feed your subconscious, your subconscious gets programmed, and that's how you create your conscious mind. Yeah, we all want to do this and that, that and the other. But if your subconscious mind is not on board, it won't work. So the processes that I use and, and, and get women through to breaking those barriers and like, allowing themselves to like, have that freedom and of the past, because that's the lens they're looking through. But if you can remove it, man, that clean slate, you can do anything.
- [27:05]
A
My goodness. My goodness. Okay, my question, My question was going to be, what are some signs, you know, that will allow women to know, okay, she's speaking with me. Like, what are they feeling? Are they feeling. How do they know they're. That maybe the wound is abandonment or how do they know? Talk about some of those signs.
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B
Let's say a woman in her business has a hard time or she has no team members.
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A
Okay?
- [27:29]
B
So this is like, it doesn't feel safe to be supported because guess what, everybody leaves me. So she is going to be a micromanager or she's going to be like, I'm going to do everything all by myself. So then you can't hurt me first, you know, like, because if I trust you and rely on you, then then you can leave. So a lot of women that I work with don't have a support team that they feel supported by because they can't receive. They're. It doesn't feel safe to receive. They don't trust. People are going to stay that they'll go. So that's where that abandonment comes up so they'll find fault. I had one client, literally, we were. Every week we're, like, getting a new person for her, and she was finding fault. And I'm like, okay, the fifth person. Now we got to start looking internally. She couldn't hear that the first time we talked about. And then she's like, you know, it might be me. I'm like, yeah, it is. You know, like. And so. And if you've, like, I'm going to example.
- [28:15]
A
Yeah.
- [28:16]
B
So I drink Starbucks every day. It is my wealthy woman drink that I love. I love it. It's matcha tea. I stopped drinking coffee years ago, actually. Got. I got matcha. I got matcha for 80 cents. One time I went to. It was it. I was in California, and the gal goes, I said, I don't drink coffee. She goes, let me give you a Matcha tea. It was 80 cents. I'm like. I felt like I was robbing Starbucks at this point back in 2011, and Starbucks caught on a couple years later. And they're like, we're gonna start charging you for this. It was everybody. It wasn't just me. So I got really enraged. The first time they asked me for money, it was like $2 and 45 cents. It didn't even have it on the menu. I was so upset. I was stomping my hands. I was like, I wanna speak to your manager. I wanna talk to, like. I went into Karen Mode. Full mode, right? I need regional manager. This is ridiculous. And then it happened again. They increased the pricing to three something. And I'm like, no, what are you doing? And I. Every time they increased it, this rage would come out. I felt like they were. They were like, going against me. They had a vendetta. I took it so personal. I mean, it's a corporation. They can do whatever they want. But I took it personal. I would have fights with the baristas at certain places. Like, I can't go to one right now in my local neighborhood because of it. Like, that's how bad it was. Yeah, it's literally the closest one to my house. So, anyway, there's a good ending to the story. So I remember it was 2020, and we. This only thing that we could actually leave and go do is get, you know, Starbucks or go out right at that time. So my kids and I jumped in the car and we went and sat in the long line. By the time we got to the window, I went to make my order. And then I had my business started, you know, picking up at this point, it was, you know, April or so. April. April, April, May. Yeah. And I said, I would love to buy the drinks of the people behind me, because I wanted to have that moment of paying it forward. And my daughter was like, oh, my gosh, it's so fun, Mommy. And then my. My son goes, let's pay for the people behind them. And then I was like, okay. So I bought, like. I think it was two or three people behind me. I had $20 to tip my barista because I love tipping. Tipping is one of my favorite things to really stretch your money beliefs is to, like, tip. Because a lot of people, you'll see their scarcity in their tipping and how they do things. So I tipped my barista, and then. But in that moment, I was triggered because it went up to four something. And I sat there, and I was like, shamina, you know how to do this? Process this. Why are you so upset? Let this go. They are not betraying you by re. By raising the price. Just allow it. You have the money today, but pay it. So I did my restructuring with it. Paid it. Tipped. Paid for the people behind me. I'm telling you, the moment that I. Because I had the fluttering, the trigger triggered this. And I went through the process to regulate my nervous system. I leave the drive through before I even hit the light. I had a $10,000 set, my stripe account. And I was like, are you kidding me? Is it that fast? And that. That signaled to me there's money sitting all around us right now, and how do we open ourselves up to receiving it? What beliefs are blocking us? And I had a betrayal wound. So I felt that every time Starbucks was raising their pricing, they were betraying me because my father betrayed me. And so that's how that shows up. You'll see where your triggers will come from. And money is one of the biggest things to highlight it, because we look to money for safety. I believe money is masculine, and the way we receive it is feminine. So for a lot of. Just for my type of women, I don't know what other people believe out there. People would say it's neutral. But a lot of people look for money to protect you, to take care of you, to keep you safe, all the things that we want masculine energy to do. So how I overcame this when I had no masculine in my life or no money is I decided that there was a masculine energy out there, dominant in the world, and I was going to attach myself to it. So I see when people use money, their. Their wounds will come up and get triggered all the time. Inconsistent months will show a betrayal. Undercharging for their services is unworthiness taking, you know, not premium clients, like not charging high ticket because if they do that, they'll feel like they're not worthy enough to, you know, or if they have a high ticket, they'll put everything plus the kitchen sink in it to justify and, and you know, they'll, they'll work overtime, they'll over deliver. They have bad boundaries, you know, they're over giving. It's just one of those things where I see it showing up now. It's a pattern. But once you can diagnose and find out where that wound is, you can break the pattern and then recreate a new reality. And that's what I do and I do for other women. That's why they start hitting their highest cash months. Because they're in that subconscious mind. Something is keeping them protected in that state so that they can't go beyond that. And so when they come to my world, I'm like, here, I'm the mentor that's going like this to you. So here, this is what I want you to see. Because I can see it like and I'm very, been doing this spiritual work for a while. Like I can basically put someone in front of me, talk to them for like five minutes. I can find their core wound and like really quickly.
- [32:41]
A
Oh my gosh, what a gift.
- [32:45]
B
I feel like it's, it's like an earned gift. Yeah. Because I literally, when I show, if I showed you all the crazy shit that I did, I mean like this lady was straight up loco, man. But I was like, if I can break all of those beliefs, I mean I was the biggest victim. I'd be like, you don't know what happened. You don't know what I've been through.
- [33:03]
A
Yeah. You know, that's what most people are though is it's that victim mentality. But you have to get over that if you want to step into that new person that you are.
- [33:12]
B
It's not abundance. It's, it's, it's, it's, it's not an abundant state. So instead of going for money, I became an abundant prosperity thinker. And so this is like an example a woman who's in lack and scarcity and, and that victimness. Sometimes she, she won't give you a compliment. Like I notice even on her social media she'll give a thumbs up or like on a button because her heart is so closed she doesn't know how to emotionally give out that energy. So she's very protective of her heart. And so passive aggressiveness, like, thumb, like that. That's it. Can't give compliments. Can't receive compliments. Like, I can see it, and they're like. Doesn't like hugs because that's, like, too much. Or she's like, super. Super a type, because she's got to be controlling everything, because if she control her entire environment, then she feels regulation. And really, the. The feminine energy is chaos. It's like, it's. You know, I came up with the saying, messy makes me millions. And that's the only way I can get over my perfectionism, that it came from my dysregulated nervous system of trying to find control. I'm like, okay, there is no control here. How can you find. How can you find a success in this? And just. Just take it. Take a chance. Just go out there and do it messy. Just go out there and put the offer out. Just go out there and do something. Get the creative hit. Go do it. Instead of having to think things through a million times. And when a client comes to me, she's like, I'm still reiterating. I'm like, just put the damn offer out there right now. Like, just go for it. And because we're afraid if we do it and it's. It doesn't look great, people are going to say something about us, and then we're not validated. But what if you could get rid of that and change that identity to become the most authentic version of yourself? And that's what every single woman does when she comes to my world as she's long. She does the work. And that is true power. Right? For a woman, that's her empowerment. It's like, I love who I am and where I'm now and the woman that I've become.
- [34:55]
A
You are just spitting gems today. What are the most common types of wounds that you see? Like, the top three. And women?
- [35:02]
B
Well, the three is the. The unworthiness. And then it's betrayal. And it. And it's abandonment. Abandonment's a big thing because, like, your mom could have left you in the aisle of Kmart. And that could have created an instance where your nervous system went into dysregulation. So it doesn't have to be, like, as deep as my. My. My experiences where, you know, I was beaten by my father. But it was like, you know, you could. You could have something. A boyfriend that you dated that broke up with you, Someone cheated on you. When someone cheats on you, you don't trust people. And trust is the highest level of your feminine energy. Because the way that it works is you have to get into the emotional state. You get up to get into the identity work. You know, Tony Robbins used to call it like priming himself. Right. Everybody who's like a really high performer has to get their system into a state before they actually go take the action. What a lot of women do is they go get out right away and they go right into action mode. And they don't take that time to actually like journal, decide what they want to feel and think that day. And then so, so the world happens to them instead of, you know, them creating the reality. So, yeah, that's, that's the number one thing that. And so I feel like with, with many women, it's just, is it okay for me to want more? Like, I have women who make a lot of money, but they don't know how to use that money in a way that feels great for them. They might buy a Rolex, they might buy a Mercedes because it's justified, but they can't go and just spend it because they want to spend it because they're afraid it'll be gone forever or they can waste their money. I know until the day I die, I will always be supported by money. I know that it'll never leave me. It'll never go away. I don't have any words. I just took a trip with my kids to Europe. We were there for almost a month. We went five star. We always fly first class going to Europe. We went to Paris, we went to the south of France, to the French Riviera. We went to Cannes, we stayed at the top hotel in Cannes. We went to Saint Tropez, we took a helicopter to Monaco. We went to, you know, we went all over. We went to Nice and I rented a yacht down there and I just said yes, yeah, my daughter wanted to buy everything. We had to buy suitcases to come back. I know it sounds really lavish, but it was like it's. I'm in the world of yes, because I know money supports me. That's, that's that trust. And if you're always in that masculine, you'll never activate the trust and the allowing and knowing that you're safe and you have to find your safety and your feminine. And so we went to Positano. We got our yacht. My kids love that we did that last year. They're like jumping off the, the cliffs with the, you know, other Italians. And then we went to Ibiza got another yacht there. That's why I'm so dark. If you see my tan lines, you are super insane. Right? And then I went to Barcelona, shop down. I mean, I stayed at the. All of them, five star. Everything was great. And people would say, that's such a waste of money. I'm like, is it? Or what if, what if I died tomorrow and I didn't enjoy my money? What if I died tomorrow and didn't realize that I could have it all? And people like, I don't want things, I want experiences. I'm like, what if you could have both? What if you could have all? Why do you have to limit? And these limits, these self imposed limits are why women are not making as much money as they can. They're not apologetic about their wealth. They're not apologetic about being who they are. They're just, they're, they're still feeding into that old system of what society tells us is right. Society will tell you. Like people had comments about Jeff Bezos and how he was spending. I mean, who cares? The guy made his money. If you don't like it, then too bad. I can guarantee you right now he does not give a shit what you think. Yeah, like, you know, he's not.
- [38:19]
A
I know you talked about your dad the way that you are and with receiving money and you're super duper successful, like goals. When you were younger, did you have any type of scarcity? Like, did you go, did you have anything do that? You did? Okay.
- [38:34]
B
My mom was like the, say my dad was the giver of money, believe it or not. So I, before he became dangerous in my life, he was one that gave me money and there was some safety there. My mom though, on the other hand, she was very strict and she was cheap. She was like, I mean, I grew up in Canada, I was born in Toronto and like we just as a country is just was like very scarce. I've lived in the states for like 30 years now almost. But you know, it's like you got to put the water back in the shampoo bottle. You need to squeeze all the toothpaste out. We get leftovers. We don't buy anything that's a regular price. I mean, I was like the discount shopper. I mean everything, oh, if it had a red ticket, it would go like there was never any way I would buy anything regular priced. And so it was just, it was one of those things that like I lived in bread from scarcity. My mom would like literally cut the mold out of the cheese like and it's still good, you know what I mean? Like, and, and you know, it was. And you know, she overcame a lot of things. But I remember when I started making money, my mom said to me, don't waste it. I was like, mom, don't ever tell me I can waste my money. And again, mom. Because it makes me think, feel like it's running out. And they are printing money all around us right now. It's everywhere. It's everywhere. It's there. It's a renewable resource. It's not going anywhere. And if you allow yourself to open up to receiving more, you'll have more. But if you block it with the, the subconscious mind of the stove is hot or with one of those core wounds, you are impeding the flow of how much cash you can have in your life and the experience that you can have with it, you know, like the things that you can do with it. So that, that's what I would say. I mean it's like, it's being able to trust. Like, and because I look at money is always supportive, masculine. In my, my life now. Like, my dad was not towards the, you know, my. From 16 onwards, he was not a safe. Actually 13 and onwards, he was not a safe place for me anymore. So I only knew how to hustle and make money. And I was always somebody. I like I had three jobs, I would, you know, I had garage sales, I would do things. I was always great at making money. But I from a hustle state, like, because I had to. And when you have to make money, it comes from desperate energy. It doesn't come from overflow and abundance. So a lot of women know how to make money, but it doesn't come from a place where that money can grow, compound, expand and create more wealth. It comes from a place of lacking limits. And that's why a lot of people will. The worst kind of broke you can be is to have money in your bank account and not feel like you can spend it like that. Like having money and not being able to use it, enjoy it. That's the worst kind of broke, right? And you'll hear people say, well, I can't believe they spent that much on a purse. Or I can't believe they did this. And well, because you don't believe that it's possible for you. And a lot of the times the judgment of other people's money and wealth comes from a place of unfairness. I don't think it's there for me. But all of these are like fixable things, like these are things that shouldn't run your life. These are just thoughts that you're thinking. They're not true, they're not real. They're just things that you're thinking. And imagine if you could shift them in a minute, like, why wouldn't you? You know, like, I would do it in a heartbeat, like, if I was you. Because there's another way of thinking. There's another flow of abundance. Like, you know, find where your limits are and work through them. Like I tell everybody, write down all your money beliefs, because in that you're going to see a pattern and how you can break them. And if you're willing to take a look at what you really are thinking, then maybe the subconscious will show itself to you. But I always say, look around you in your life right now. If something that you desire is not there, your subconscious mind is keeping you safe from it.
- [41:50]
A
Wow, Shamina, that is amazing. Tell us how. Okay, I know there's women, myself included. How can we work with you? Where are you going?
- [42:00]
B
Two awesome programs right now that we. I feel like they're, like, amazing. However, before I say anything, we haven't. We have an event in Chicago on October 2nd and 3rd, and it's called the Wealth Consciousness Experience. I would invite you all to get in the room and be there. Now, if you guys are listening to this, this. This amazing podcast with Caitlin, I'm going to do a really great thing for you, and you have to send me a message on Instagram at Shamina Taylor. You buy one ticket or general price is 5.97. And I let you bring your business bestie with you just because of listening to this podcast. And I think we have three seats left for our VIP, which is $1,888. Like I said, I can spend five minutes with you and diagnose it so people get in the room with me so they can get that by Ms. Because otherwise it's like $25,000 to spend three hours with me. So that's a really good, inexpensive way we're going to talk about business. We're going to talk about, you know, you transforming. It's like a quantum leap. In two days, the things that you're going to do in two days is going to transform you faster than any other book or experience you can go through. When women leave that event, you know, they start having their highest cash months or they've. They've repaired their relationships with others. Like, a lot of women are so much in their masculine that they're not getting the sex and attention that they want from their husbands. Because if you're in your masculine, your husband can't be in his masculine to see, to provide and protect and take care of you. So that's why you don't want to have sex with them anymore. You know, like, because if you allowed yourself to just get into that feminine state, the way I teach it, you will become so desirable not just to your husband, but you'll magnetize people to including clients where you don't have to chase and hustle for those leads. So it's a, it's a great way so that the event coming up, we have a program called the Millionaire Club and it's a six month program. We're actually extending it to a year. So we've changed that because I've seen that women just need more work. They need the accountability and that's for anybody with a business or no business. And if you have a business and you want to scale it and you want to, to make a million dollars like I did my first year and I show you my methods and methodology of how to do it and create a personal brand, then the wealthy CEO is for you. Come join us there and you can send me a message on. I'm going to tell you how I'm going to give something free to your group too in one second. But this book, go get it. It's called Unlocking the Quantum Woman. Get the physical book because there's a workbook inside of it. It's not the one on Amazon. Yeah, get this book. And it's got 275, five star reviews. We sold thousands of copies. And I'm just little old me selling my book over here and it's on audio. I know all of you want to do audio because you're multitasking, but I invite you, if you get the audio, get the phys, do both. And, and also since you've been such an amazing, you know, host, Caitlyn, I want to offer your, your pe, your listeners something that I, I usually reserve just for my, you know, my, my paid clients. But it's called the cash flow method. And so it's called the instant cash flow method. And I feel like if once we start bringing money in quickly, what happens is we start reprogramming our mind like, hey, there is money around. So if you get that kickstart, it helps. And because let me just rephrase this. It's for a woman who is actually a high achiever, who's making money, but she wants to go to the Next level. Maybe she wants to see what her blind spots are. Maybe she wants to see, you know, what's happening and how she can improve in her business. And so I feel like that would be for you if you want that. So all you have to do, I think I'm going to have my team do two things. Either you do you message creator or you message Caitlin. One of the two or both. Just because it's going to be an automated thing, it's not going to be my team in there. So we're going to do an automation. So what should I do? I'll just do. Let me help you. Maybe you have to edit this. I mean just, just message creator. That's how I can do creator too.
- [45:12]
A
To my own messages and yeah, just.
- [45:13]
B
DM me create creator and then we can send you that free gift. Also if you want to really have like an intensive and figure out where you are and if you're interested in one of the programs or if you just want the intensive to see like where am I? What's really like in my way, like it's not going to deep dive into you, but it's going to give you an Overall, you know, 10 minute overview. Then send my team a message and we'll give you that 10 minute intensive too so you can have like a little blueprint on what's next steps. Because honestly, I live from abundance that I want every woman to be rich and wealthy. Like I want them to have it all. There's so much of this to go around. Like women, it is our turn to rise up into this wealth. And when women have money in their hands, we do such incredible things. Not only do we take care of our babies and our children and we show other women what's possible, but we change the world in ways that that not saying men can't, but it's such a beautiful, loving, nurturing. This world needs more love and it needs more of that feminine energy. And so whatever I can do to help you expand into the more do it. Go binge my podcast too. It's called Unapologetically Rich Women Binge that I've had like a woman binge and tell me, message me like literally in one month. I gotta look at one month. It was like I made $50,000 my highest cash month just listening to my podcast and reading my book.
- [46:22]
A
So girl, I'm doing all the things.
- [46:25]
B
Yes. No.
- [46:26]
A
This was such an incredible conversation. Thank you so much for being on. I think we'll have to do a part two because I want to get. I just want to dig even deeper into all of this. But for now, we can all just go to the event in October.
- [46:38]
B
Bring your friends. Come on in.
- [46:41]
A
Thank you so much, Shamina. That is it, guys. I hope you like today's podcast. Go message her right now.