← Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
Call Her Creator with Katelyn Rhoades
Stop Caring What They Think: Choosing Yourself + Building Real Confidence Online
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Okay, let's be real. How much of your life have you spent worrying about what other people think of you? If they don't like you, they're talking about you behind your back. If you look, cringe, if you fail and everyone sees it, guess what? I've been there. I'm there a lot, actually. I'm there every week. I've had those spirals where I let someone else's opinion dictate my energy, my decisions, and even my confidence. And you know what I, what I've learned about that is it has never helped me. It has only made me small worrying about those things. So today we're going to talk about letting go of outside opinions, choosing yourself every single time, and what true confidence actually looks like. Not just in your life, but also in how you show up online for your business. And at the end of all this, I'm going to share how social Media school gives you the exact same systems to show up confidently without second guessing yourself. So grab your coffee, go on your money walk, put on those headphones or just settle in. We've got some good stuff today. Hey friend, welcome back to Call Her Creator. Powered by your all in One Creator store, Stan. Stan is the easiest way for you to make money online. All of your courses, digital products and bookings are hosted within your link in bio. If you're ready to start your free trial, visit my show notes and click my affiliate link to get started today. So welcome back to today's episode. I have some really exciting news that I want to share before I get into our confidence Truth About Opinions episode. I got to tell y' all that Social Media school is officially open. Like this has been a dream of mine to launch a course and for the last 30 days I have been balls to the walls, tunnel vision working on social Media school. I, I so wish that I would have done this years ago. Like when I truly back in 2021 when I took over, you know, my Instagram for real, for real, for my business, I really wish I would have just taken the time, slowed down and did this because I know it's gonna help so many people. And I know I missed out on a lot of business because I get asked all the time, do you have a course? Do you have a training, blah blah blah. And I'm always like, yeah, no, I have free trainings over on YouTube but now I really have this legit program, Social Media School. It's my step by step program where I give you the exact systems that I use to create content, grows my business. No guesswork, no spending hours glued to your phone. You don't have to worry about what everyone else thinks either because I'm going to give you all the tools you need to be confident in social. So once you grab Social Media school, you'll get my Core 5 framework, the Rule of 3 system, my engagement method. I have sales psychology on there, I have templates, I have plug and play captions, literally everything. It's everything you need to finally show up consistently and confidently on social. So go to the show notes or you can even comment the word school on any of my content on Instagram and I'll DM you the details. But you are going to get access to social Media school. And if you're listening to this before September 29th, I have a coaching add on. It's only available through September 29th because our first call launches October 1st. But I'd love to have you inside. I'd love to give you real life face to face feedback via Zoom, of course. But this, it's going to be good guys. If you're stuck, Social Media school is going to get you unstuck and you can thank me later. Okay, let's talk about opinions. Here's what I've learned. People will always have something to say. Always. And if you chase approval, you're going to be running forever trying to get the approval of others that truly don't even care about you. Someone is always going to think you're too loud. Another person is always going to think you're too quiet. Like one person says you post too much, another says you're inconsistent. You literally cannot win if you're chasing everyone else's opinions. And sometimes it's not even about you. People project their own fears, their own insecurities and limits onto you. Their opinion is not your fact. So when you care too much about their voice, you're truly drowning out your own. And your voice is the only one that matters for your decisions. Your confidence, your happiness self. So the first step to confidence is just accepting this. Some people will come, some people will go. You are not meant to understand them or be approved by everyone. They're not meant to understand you. Your job is just to be understood by yourself. Someone once told me a quote, and it truly sticks with me. It's what other people think of you is none of your business. I can't think about who told me that. And at first I was like, oh, you're rude. None of my business. Yes it is. It's about me. But no, like what? So and so thinks of me. That's not my business. Who cares what she thinks of me? She can have. She. This is a free country. This is America. This is 2025. She's allowed to have whatever opinion she wants of me, but that doesn't mean that that opinion is true. So we have to stop obsessing over their opinions. You've got to make space to choose yourself. You. And that's what confidence really is. It's choosing yourself. It's waking up and saying, what decision makes me proud? What choice makes me feel expansive and not small? What would my future self thank me for? I've had so many moments in my life where it would have been easier to just blend in and to play it safe and just to stay quiet. But those weren't the moments that moved me forward. Those aren't the moments that grew me to this person that I am today. At the end of the day, you are the one living with your choices. Not your mom, not your best friend, not the person from high school watching your stories. It's you. So why not make choices that light you up instead of trying to make everyone else comfortable? Confidence is not about never feeling fear. It's not about being perfect. Confidence is showing up anyway. It's doing the thing while your voice shakes. It's making the post when you think, what if nobody likes this? Because guess what? Every time you show up, despite your fear, you're building a brick in your confidence foundation, and those bricks stack. So here's a few ways I personally keep my confidence strong. One, I always celebrate microwinds. And I have put this on my children. I put this on my husband. But you really have to celebrate those little moments because they make the bigger moments more special. But also, there's like this. This quote that's kind of circulating around Instagram, and it's like, what if the reason I can't celebrate is because I'm always raising the bar? Or something like that. It basically made me feel seen because I do have all these little tiny things, which are kind of bigger things in other people's brains, but for me, they're not huge because my bar is so freaking high for myself. So I've had to step back and be like, oh, my God, Caitlyn. Like, celebrate that win. Celebrate that win. I'll be honest with you guys. A bunch of Instagram creators were invited to manychat Summit, and I was not invited. And my husband's like, where's Monty? Because I love him. And he's like, we do the Same thing. So you would think that I would have been invited, too, but, like, I don't know. I wasn't invited. And I went to my room and I kind of sat on that, and I'm like, why didn't. Why wasn't I invited? Why didn't they choose me? What. What is my content not good? Like, what. Why are all these people there and I'm not? And then I kind of sat there and I'm like, okay, Caitlin, first off, your plate is so full right now. You just launched social media school. You also just locked in the biggest partnership of your entire career, which I did last month, which I'm working on this month for a pretty big brand. And so I just kind of had to take a second and be like, hey, be grateful for this partnership that you locked in. Who cares if you didn't get to go to manychat, still love Em, still use their. Their platform. But it was. It was a moment for me to be like, hey, stop comparing yourself to other people. Be confident in what you have built. Be confident in your wins. So that's just a little transparency for you guys. Like, I'm over here struggling, too. I also like to keep receipts of my wins. So client messages, Facebook statuses, where they mention my brand or my business or anything like that. I screenshot it and I save it to my phone. And. And I've also even made my team do this. So I created a Slack channel, and it says brag about it. And basically, if they get a good email or someone DMS them or whatever happens where someone's congratulating them or it's just a win for them, I tell them to put it in our brag about it channel because I want to brag about them. I want them to feel seen and heard, and I want them to be excited and proud. So I think everyone should do that. Take screenshots of your little wins. And then, you know, if you're having a bad day, rainy day, pull that up and read it. It. It will make better. Another thing I do is I repeat affirmations on the daily. So, like, today's affirmation is my voice matters. My presence shifts rooms. Like, you have to really tell yourself that you're powerful, you're worth it. You bring things to the table, sister. Like, I have to remind myself that all the time. And I don't know if that's like, childhood trauma or what, like, where you don't get the celebrations or the accolades that you feel like you should have. So I remind myself all the time. Like, hey, little girl, your voice matters. Your presence shifts this room. So that's a good one if you want to seal it for me today. Or just go into ChatGPT and say, actually, I'm going to pull ChatGPT up right now and say, Give me three confident affirmations for ambitious women. Okay, let's see. Number one is okay, every room I walk into expands because of my presence and my energy. Love that one. I am unapologetic about my goals and unstoppable in my pursuit of them. Love them. I choose courage over comfort, knowing confidence is built every time I show up. So, like, those are just three easy ones. I was on. I was on. I was on Chat GBT last night, kind of giving myself therapy because, you know, I was worried about someone else's opinion of me again. There was something that happened with me and it shifted my entire energy. My husband saw me pacing the house. I was cleaning. I was doing dumb stuff that, that no one does at 8pm on a Sunday. And he's like, what's wrong with you? And I was like, nothing, I'm fine. But secretly I was over there with ChatGPT, like, talking through therapy, and I'm just like, why am I so worried about other people's opinions of me lately? Like, it is sucking me in. There has been multiple moments in the last year that I've let people suck my energy dry. And so that's another part of what I do to help my confidence, to keep it strong is I'm very intentional about my circle. So, like, spending time with people who expand me and not drain me again. It's been super hard for me this past year, but I am diligent about cutting those draining people off. And sometimes that can come in the form of friends, friends that you've had since you were in Pre K. It can come in the form of family. It mean unfollowing people. It can just mean muting people on social, which is what I did last night because this person really peed me off. But I've also realized, like, I have OCD when it comes to my thoughts. Like, it is obsessive compulsive thoughts that go in my brain. I've read that it's a sign of adhd, but I think a huge part of all of this is that I'm able to acknowledge it and see it so that when these thoughts enter my brain, I can reroute them. But back to last night, like, that person's actions really affected me. But at the End of the day, I wish I could remember what chatgpt told me. Let me see if I can bring that up real quick. Oh, yeah, here it is. Okay, loved this. At the end of the day, there was a couple things that I was taught to do. One, notice when that part of you is activated and tell yourself, this isn't me right now. This is my younger self feeling unsafe. Awareness is your first step. And I read too. When it comes to feeling, when it comes to caring about what people think of you, it's very human. So wanting to be liked and accepted is deeply wired into us. It used to literally mean survival. So when you sense rejection or disapproval, your nervous system literally interprets that as a threat, even if your rational mind knows it's not life or death. That's why it feels like such a meltdown when we do feel these things, because it's just hardwired into us. And then the second part of this is reflecting on your reaction and like being like hyper aware, like, oh, okay, this is making me feel this sort of way. Let me change my thoughts here. And that's where I was talking about, notice when that part of you gets activated, because awareness is the first step. Second step is offer comfort to yourself instead of criticism. So most of us pile shame on top of this hurt. Like, why am I like this? Why do I care? I say that all the time when I'm caring so hard about things. But I read that you should envision your inner child as you would as a little kid, because a lot of mine comes from when I was little. Like. Like I think a lot of this, this feeling of caring so much of what people think, or that unworthiness. It comes to me as a child. So what Chat told me was to act like I'm talking to my inner child, that little girl. And it said that I could say things like, I see you. It's okay to feel scared. Hey, I'm not going anywhere. You're safe with me. And it kind of softens the spiral too, which I really like. And even I know this sounds so silly, but even with showing up on social media, like with reels or with a post where you have to share pictures of yourself, like, if you're feeling uncomfortable, it's okay to tell yourself, hey, this is weird. I know you feel scared doing this, but guess what? You're safe. This is okay. So I loved that part of, of what it told me to do. And then what else did it tell me? Seek repair in relationships. So when appropriate practice surrounding yourself with People who are safe, who are affirming, who are accepting. Your inner child needs proof that love doesn't always end in rejection. So surrounding yourself with good people, with a good tribe, I think that also will help you when it comes to showing up in your daily routine or showing up online. And I talk about this a lot, but having your little social tribe, like I went to the Powerhouse women event a couple months ago and we all told each other, hey, let's get together like this little social tribe. When we post something, let's be each other's cheerleaders, we can send it to each other. So when you're posting something, you're automatically getting some kind of traction back from people that love you. So that's going to make your confidence go up too, because you'll be feeling like you were seen and heard. So that's something too. And I feel like I'm going a little bit of a tangent with this, but I hope it's all making sense and wrapping into wine that a lot of what we feel, this rejection, it's so human of us to feel rejected or to feel weird about putting ourselves out there or to just feel unconfident. But there are things that we can do to make sure we show up confidently. And that's why it's really a huge reason why I built social media school. I wanted people to feel confident and know what the heck they were doing so that it would make it less scary for you, so that you'll pop up there without feeling cringe. You'll pop up there not worrying about what high school Judy says about you. She ain't paying your bills, girl, she paying your bills. You are so you have to show up for you and your business can't grow if you let the fear of judgment keep you silent inside of you. You have a message, a service, a transformation that people need. And someone else's opinion is not going to pay your bills. So that's why I created social media school. I give you Systems like the Core 5 content framework, the rule of three, the engagement method, swipe and steal, capt hook ideas, sales psychology, templates. I literally give it all to you in a step by step format so you're not overwhelmed by all of this. But it's just like, oh my gosh, I have everything I need. I can show up because I've realized that the lack of confidence usually isn't about who we are. It's just about not knowing what we're doing. And if you think about it, when you feel unsure or you feel unprepared or like you're just winging it. Of course doubt's going to creep in. That shaky ground makes it so much easier to care about everyone else's opinions. So that's why I made Social Media School. I wanted to take the guesswork off your plate and give you the tools, the resources, the data backed systems to know your stuff inside and out. Because when you have a framework to follow, a strategy that works, and the confidence that comes from clarity, you stop second guessing and you start showing up boldly. Because when you know your shit, you can own your presence online without an apology. Confidence plus systems equals unstoppable online presence. Okay, I know I talked about a lot here and I did feel my ADH come out a lot. Little bit. I hope you'll forgive me and I hope it all made sense. If you're in a season where you're done worrying about everyone else's opinions of you, this is your reminder. Choose yourself. Build your confidence brick by brick. Stop letting someone else's thoughts keep you from living your life or growing your business. And if you're ready to show up online confidently, consistently, without all the overthink, Social Media school is your next step. Doors for live coaching with Social Media school close on September 29th, so you're gonna want to move fast. Go to my show notes. Lock in your seat. You are worthy of building the business and the life that you want. And it starts with confidence in yourself.