Call Her Daddy: "Parenting Your Parents"

Host: Alex Cooper
Release Date: March 22, 2026

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt solo episode, Alex Cooper opens up about the emotional and practical complexities of "parenting your parents"—the subtle and not-so-subtle shifts that occur when adult children become the primary caretakers or “parents” to their aging parents. Drawing on personal stories, recent discussions with friends, and advice from her therapist, Alex explores the evolving dynamic of the parent-child relationship as you move into true adulthood, including the discomfort, grief, and—ultimately—the beauty of reciprocal care.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Recognizing the Shift in Family Dynamics

• Story from a Friend (07:30): Alex recounts a recent girls’ wine night where a friend, just back from a family vacation, expressed exhaustion—not relaxation—after acting as the "parent" to her own parents.
  • “Instead of coming back relaxed…she was so absolutely exhausted. And as she started telling us about what happened…all of us just began like aggressively nodding along to her story.”
• Childhood vs. Now:
  • As kids, parents handled all logistics; now, technology and decision-making often fall to the adult child.
  • “Back when you were a kid….your brain could probably just go onto autopilot….But now maybe you get to the airport and your dad can’t understand how the self-service…works, right?”

The Emotional Toll of Role-Reversal

• “Our parents…fully rely on us, and it’s not the other way around anymore.” (13:50)
• Identity Shift: Alex shares her own experience taking over holiday planning, feeling overwhelmed and unable to relax, sparking a larger realization about advancing into the family’s "top layer of reliability."
  • “It felt like I was going through this massive identity shift because I wanted my parents to still be my parents….I was probably the more capable one and I didn’t know how I felt about it.” (19:00)

The Uncomfortable Truth—Parents Are Human

• Aging and Change:
  • “Our parents are human beings. They are changing, evolving, and aging, learning new things or struggling through other things, right? Like, all while we are focusing on our own growth.” (15:40)
  • Alex reflects on the discomfort of recognizing her parents’ mortality and the destabilizing feeling that comes with it.

Insights from Therapy: Attachment, Dependence, and Interdependence

• “From birth to death, our lives as humans revolve around dependence, independence, and interdependence.” (22:10)
• Therapist’s Perspective:
  • “If we have a secure attachment to our parents, then we naturally internalize the feeling that something solid exists above us….So then when aging begins to slowly chip away at this stability, it’s actually an indication that a foundational shift is happening. The relationship is now interdependent on a much deeper level.” (22:30)
• Consequences: New responsibilities fall on the adult child, from healthcare to managing technology, and even social connection.

Emotional Responses: Frustration, Guilt, and Avoidance

• Frustration: Alex admits to feeling irrationally irritated by her parents’ requests—then angry at herself for feeling this way.
  • “My dad, when I’m growing up, like, he never asked me, can you help me? …And so the fact that he is now able to ask me for help…that should be something…positive, but it was just too scary to me.” (32:30)
• Guilt & Grief: Therapy identified this as “anticipatory grief”—grieving someone before they’re gone, just from anxiety about their aging.
  • “I started feeling this whiplash from guilt to frustration to sadness. And where it led for me was…I didn’t want to deal with it. I didn’t want to think about it. I just wanted my parents to stay constant…” (35:10)

Navigating the Change: Honest Conversations

• Difficult but Essential: Therapy advice: Have open conversations about aging, support, and the future before life forces your hand.
  • “It doesn’t need to be some dramatic sit-down like, ‘We need to talk about how you’re getting old.’ Just start the conversation from your own viewpoint…” (46:10)
• Practical Tips for the Talk:
  • Focus on how you can best support them.
  • Offer gentle examples if needed.
  • If you have siblings, coordinate support.

Embracing Reciprocity & Finding Joy

• “Parenting your parents is actually a sign of really amazing reciprocity in one of the most important relationships that you will have in your lifetime.” (52:30)
• After Acknowledging the Shift: Once Alex had the hard conversations, she felt able to access “the emotional aspect” of her relationship with her parents again.
  • “It’s been so beautiful to realign…Now I just want to have my mom and dad there for that emotional side which has been really, really beautiful.” (54:01)

Setting Boundaries & Guarding Your Mental Health

• Protect Yourself, Too:
  • “Navigating the final chapters of someone’s life alongside them is extremely mentally taxing…It’s only going to be healthy and good for everyone if you’re also protecting your emotional bandwidth.” (59:30)
  • It’s okay to seek help, divide labor with siblings, or set boundaries around when and how you’re available.
  • Cultural and family backgrounds influence what’s possible, so solutions will look different for everyone.

Accepting Change & Cherishing the Present

• Notable Reflection:
  • “There will be a day when you don’t get their calls anymore. There will be a last holiday…But when we allow ourselves to just fully accept it…it’s really helpful when it comes to actually enjoying the current moment.” (01:02:50)
  • Trust that your parents equipped you with the tools to handle these chapters: “Even if you’re 30, 40, 50, 60, 100 years old, you never stop being someone’s child. Okay?” (01:04:25)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On realizing the shift:
  • “How the fuck did my parents ever do all of this on their own?...How am I alive? How am I breathing to this day?” (09:30)
• Therapy gold:
  • “From birth to death, our lives as humans revolve around dependence, independence, and interdependence.” (22:10)
• On anticipatory grief:
  • “It’s basically grieving someone before they’re even gone simply because there is so much internal stress and anxiety around losing them…” (40:08)
• The cycle of life:
  • “One day I’m going to be the fucking woman…that’s like, can you come help me with my taxes? And my kids are showing up. That’s just the cycle of life.” (01:05:07)

Listener Q&A Segment

[01:09:07] Letter to an Ex—Should I Send It?

• Quick Summary: Listener asks if she should write a letter to her ex before he moves overseas. Alex channels her “toxic letter-writing girl” roots and gives both practical and comical advice.
  • “I love the letter. Because you know what? It was more manipulative. It was more for me…Like, giving a man a letter…I needed him to…just chew on that.” (01:09:50)
  • Ultimately: Write the letter, but make sure it’s more empowering for you, not pining for him.
• Most Iconic Alex Moment:
  • “I wrote him 365 letters and I left it on his doorstep before I left for college. Yeah. Hi, Ali from The Notebook!” (01:14:10)

Final Thoughts

• Cyclical Nature of Family:
  • “Your relationship with your parents is not going to be stagnant for the rest of your life…We do this with friendships, we do this with relationships, so we have to do this with our parents too.” (01:06:10)
• Ending on a Lighter Note:
  • After a thoughtful, emotionally raw episode, Alex brings levity, switches gears with a listener Q&A, and ends with a dose of humor and inspiration—reminding listeners to live out their main-character moments, write the letter, and embrace every stage of life.

Important Timestamps

• 07:30 — Story: Becoming “the parent” on vacation
• 15:40 — The discomfort of seeing parents as aging individuals
• 19:00 — Alex’s story about Christmas, responsibility shift
• 22:10 — Therapy: Dependence, Independence, Interdependence
• 32:30 — Resentment and frustration toward parents
• 40:08 — Defining “anticipatory grief”
• 46:10 — Practical advice for starting the conversation
• 54:01 — Rediscovering the emotional connection
• 59:30 — Setting boundaries; guarding your mental health
• 01:09:07 — Listener letter Q&A; comedic advice
• 01:14:10 — “Hi, Ali from The Notebook!” — Alex’s 365 letters story
• 01:20:00 — Closing reflections and future episode teasers

Tone: Raw, relatable, humorous, and emotionally open—classic Alex Cooper.

For the Daddy Gang:
Whether you’re grappling with new family dynamics or just in your feels about aging parents, this episode offers validation, comfort, and a few laughs—plus, permission (and a blueprint) for having those tough, necessary talks with your folks.