Call Her Daddy: "Shay Mitchell: Let Him Go, You Deserve Better (FBF)"

Podcast: Call Her Daddy
Host: Alex Cooper
Guest: Shay Mitchell
Date: November 21, 2025

Episode Overview

In this vibrant and candid throwback episode, Alex Cooper welcomes actress, entrepreneur, and mother Shay Mitchell to dive into heartfelt topics ranging from self-worth and independence to relationships, motherhood, and the importance of living authentically. Shay opens up about her personal evolution, navigating love, friendships, societal expectations, and offers empowering advice for listeners—especially women—struggling to find themselves within or beyond romantic relationships.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. First Impressions and “The Vibe”

• Setting the Scene: Shay and Alex bond over the updated podcast set, which Shay describes as “serene” and “a good vibe.” (03:21)
• Drinks and Honesty: Shay prepares Alex a passionfruit spritzer, joking about her status as a “media-trained queen.” (04:00; 11:56)
• Friendship Roots: They share the backstory of their meeting and their mutual friend/publicist Kate Bailey. Shay is described as the life of the party, deeply present, and an “energy person,” unlike the always-stressed hustler Kate. (05:06)

2. Shay’s Approach to Love and Dating

• Dating as Chapters: Shay viewed her 20s as a time to collect experiences—dating different types, saying yes “for the story,” not sticking to a ‘type’ but always ensuring self-control and consent. (06:12-06:52)
  • Quote: “It’s a vibe. I have zero type.” (06:58)
• Self-Knowledge & Relationship Lessons: Shay believes her exes would say, “She knew what she wanted.” She maintains generally positive relationships post-breakup. (07:48)
• No Labels Philosophy: Shay is adamant about not wanting labels—on relationships, sexuality, or even her role as “wife.”
  • Quote: “I don’t want to label my sexuality. I don’t want to label my relationship. I never wanted to be a wife.” (09:30)

3. Pretty Little Liars & Queer Representation

• Gratitude for Career Start: Shay expresses immense gratitude for Pretty Little Liars, crediting it as the “biggest turning point” in her life and loving ongoing fan engagement. (08:30)
• Authenticity in Queer Roles: She confirms she had real-life experience with women before her on-screen roles and dislikes reductive questions about playing queer characters.
  • Quote: “How do I know what it’s like to like somebody? It’s the same shit.” (10:24-10:50)

4. Partnership Over Marriage

• Redefining Relationship Terms: Shay prefers calling her significant other “partner” instead of “husband” or “baby daddy,” highlighting their deep connection and shared parenting. (15:19-16:33)
  • Quote: “He’s more than my baby daddy...I love the word partner.” (15:55)
• Choice to Not Marry: Despite her parents' long marriage, she never felt the need for a wedding or rings, emphasizing love and partnership over tradition. (18:21-19:17)
  • Quote: “I didn’t feel that a piece of paper and a big celebration and a ring would, like, justify my love.” (18:54)
• Evolving Models for Commitment: Shay discusses trends of delayed or skipped marriage, believing it’s healthy for personal growth, especially for women. (19:17)

5. Trust and Jealousy in Relationships

• Navigating Trust with a Touring Partner: With Matt (her partner) often traveling with Drake, Shay admits it’s hard at times, but prioritizes trust and communication.
  • Quote: “He is living his own life. We are two individuals that have come together...” (22:42)
• Outgrowing Relationship Anxieties: Shay reflects on her 20s spent stalking social media to check up on partners and how she’s learned to “let go.”
  • Quote: “If you can take him from me, then he’s yours. I’ll keep it moving.” (25:06)
  • Powerful Advice: “If you are so in love but always anxious about him, love yourself more. You shouldn’t be feeling that way in a healthy relationship.” (27:39)

6. Motherhood and the Loss of Self

• Identity Shift: Shay candidly discusses mourning her old self during pregnancy, the feeling that “a piece of me is dying” upon becoming a mom.
  • Quote: “Yes, old Shay did...have to be put to rest.” (34:32)
• Need for Self-Care: Emphasizes the importance of maintaining a sense of self and friendship outside motherhood, even suggesting a “mama shower” to celebrate women post-birth. (37:05)
  • Quote: “For me to feel rested, for me to feel like, you know, I’ve done what I needed to do, because then I’m a better mother.” (36:26)

7. Independence, Self-Worth, and Manifestation

• Core Message: Shay’s defining trait is her independence—financial, emotional, and social.
  • Quote: “Everything just feels better when, like, I did that...that is what kind of clicked in.” (40:00)
• Empowerment for Young Women: Alex and Shay stress building your own life, confidence, and friend group outside of a partner.
  • Quote (Alex): "If you have your own life outside of them...you’re so much stronger.” (42:19)
• On Insecurity: Shay’s biggest insecurity is education—wishing she’d spent more time learning languages; she uses positive affirmations and manifestation to conquer self-doubt.
  • Quote: “Words are very powerful, and I am a big believer of manifesting.” (44:26)
  • Rihanna Reference: “Sometimes you don’t feel confident. You just get up and you do it.” (46:18)

8. Friendships and Letting Go

• Quality over Quantity: Shay values her tight-knit group and doesn’t stress over not having a massive friend group.
  • Quote: “If you have two solid friends, that’s amazing. And like, own that.” (53:09)
• Losing Friends Is Okay: She’s ended friendships after losing respect, equating it to outgrowing relationships.
  • Quote: “Once you lose respect in any relationship, it’s over.” (55:42)

Advice & Audience Q&A

On Setting Boundaries & Trust

• Establish Your Needs: Shay and Alex agree on sharing expectations—like a "safe in bed" text with partners—and normalizing honest communication about boundaries. (58:04)
  • Quote (Shay): “It depends what your boundary is...Did you set it?” (58:04)
• If You’re Anxious, Something’s Off: Don’t ignore your gut if you feel anxious about your partner’s whereabouts or behavior. (59:21)
  • Quote (Alex): “I truly believe it. If there’s certain shit that they’re doing...you always, always know.”
• On Addressing Insecurities: If you’re nervous to raise concerns, remember: The right person won’t run from your vulnerability; the wrong person will—and that’s your answer. (61:45)
  • Quote: “Let him go. Let him free. If it’s the wrong person, why do you want to waste your time with them anyway?” (61:45)
• No Settling for Less: Shay and Alex emphasize not being afraid to walk away when something no longer feels right.

On Dating & Singlehood

• “Date for the Experience”: Shay advocates using your single years to explore, learn about yourself, and have fun—but always with self-respect and on your own terms.
  • Quote: “Learn about yourself through other people.” (65:22)
  • Quote: “Don’t just date a loser to date a loser...Always have that self-respect.” (67:49)
• Freedom to Redefine: Both women urge: don’t let societal norms or pressure to settle down rush you. Live your life, gather stories, and trust that you will know when it’s right. (66:31)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments (with timestamps)

• On Labels and Relationships:
  • “I just want to be free. Like, I just want to be me, whatever that is.” – Shay (09:56)
• Motherhood and Identity:
  • “A piece of me is dying. I’m going to be a mother.” – Shay (34:32)
• Trust in Relationships:
  • “If you can take him from me, then he’s yours. I’m good, and I can keep it moving.” – Shay (25:06)
• Advice to Women:
  • “Love yourself more.” – Shay (27:39)
  • “Don’t waste any more days. I did that enough in my 20s. For those listening who are in their 20s, save yourselves, learn from us, and don’t waste your days worrying about somebody else. Let them be.” – Shay (70:39)
• Friendship Wisdom:
  • “If you have two solid friends, that’s amazing. And like, own that.” – Shay (53:09)
  • “Once you lose respect in any relationship, it’s over.” – Shay (55:42)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:29] Shay introduced; friendship dynamics and “good vibes”
• [06:12] Dating attitude and approach in her 20s
• [08:30] On Pretty Little Liars fame and gratitude
• [09:30] Queer roles and the aversion to labels
• [15:19] Why she prefers “partner” over “husband”
• [19:17] The changing face of marriage; importance of self-development
• [22:42] Building trust with her partner and dealing with jealousy
• [34:32] Pregnancy, motherhood, and identity shift
• [40:00] Independence as her core value
• [44:26] Manifestation, positivity, and how to speak about oneself
• [53:09] Friendship quality over quantity
• [58:04] On relationship boundaries and trust
• [67:49] Dating advice—“don’t just date a loser...always have that self respect.”

Final Takeaways

• Live Authentically: Don’t box yourself into labels or societal expectations.
• Prioritize Self-Worth: Your peace and independence matter more than any relationship.
• Communicate and Set Boundaries: Healthy relationships are built on trust and clear boundaries—don’t be afraid to communicate your needs.
• Experience and Learn: Use your single years as an opportunity to get to know yourself through different experiences.
• Empower Your Inner Circle: Invest in quality friendships and let go without guilt when you outgrow people.
• Don’t Settle: If you are not being treated right, let them go—you deserve better.

This episode is quintessential Call Her Daddy—raw, empowering, and full of both laughter and life lessons. Shay Mitchell shines as a voice for growth, self-love, and the freedom to choose your own path, offering invaluable advice for listeners navigating love, friendships, and everything in between.