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All right, daddy gang. I have had this SiriusXM music channel for about a year now called Unwell Music. I pick all the songs. I play whatever the hell I want 247 so you already know the vibe. Disney hits, throwbacks. We've got Miley, Selena, Demi, Hillary, Justin, Britney, Rihanna. No more playlist fatigue or trying to decide what to listen to anymore. Father's got the ox and father's got you. I have a special offer for you. Daddies get three months of Sirius XM free. Visit Sirius xm.comunwell Music to see offer details. Call Her Daddy Is brought to you by Ross. Spring is officially here. The time is perfect to refresh your home in your wardrobe shop Ross, where spring trends are everywhere. Find that flowy floral dress or the perfect sandal to kick off the season. Spring is also about creating new vibes at home and getting outside with outdoor entertaining essentials with brands you love at 20 to 60% off other retailers prices. New looks and vibes don't mean a huge price tag at Ross. 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We don't need to stress. Thank you, Clorox. Okay, so shop Clorox Disinfecting Wipes wipes now@walmart.com Clorox wipes. Hello, hello, hello. Welcome back to another Sunday session of Call Her Daddy. Guys, I. I feel like a different person, okay? Because I have been so consumed. I have been so just not focused on anything in my life. Other than reading this one goddamn book series. And I have turned into a monster. Matt at night is like, I know. I'm, like, still working, but, like. Like to put your book down. Like, pretend you're paying attention to me. And I'm like, but you're working. He's like, I know, but, like, you never look at me anymore. This book is consuming your life. And I'm like, it's amazing. It's everything I need right now. Let me just tell you. It's called Fourth Wing. I am so late to the party for all the fourth Wingers that are like, babe, like, this has been out for so long. I know, but to anyone that has not read this book, I just want you to know that, like, it has changed my life. And I was okay. I love acotar. I had Sarah J. Maas on the podcast. You guys know that. But I had never read 4th Wing for some reason. And Lauren had told me, like, you need to read it. You need to read it. It's one of my favorite series. And dumbly, I could not sleep one night. It's like 12:30, Matt's dead asleep. Annoying as snoring in my ear. I'm like, I will ruin your life. And I'm trying to not scroll on social media. And I'm like, maybe I just need to open a book. And so I'm going through to look at downloading. Like, what can I download? And I see Fourth Wing on the list. I'm like, you know what? That's probably, like, a really long book. It's like, romantasy. But it probably will take a while to get into. Probably bore me to sleep. Perfect, guys. Eight chapters, 3:00am Eyes wide open. I literally went into work the next day, like, hello, everyone. I looked so tired. I was obsessed. The first set sentence had me hooked, and that has been consuming my life. So it just ended. I read the third book, and now the next one doesn't come out for like a year. So I'm kind of, like, tweaking out. I'm going through withdrawals. I feel a little bit, like, unsure of myself. I'm weary. I don't know who I am, but let me just say, having a good book in your life, I am someone who goes through spurts of reading, and then I will stop reading and I will just go through, like, a couple months where I just don't read anything. But when you have a good book in your life, your mood is up, your vibe is up, you're glowing, you look more gorgeous, you sound more Gorgeous. Everything in life is less annoying. No one's annoying me that much because I'm like. I'm just like. I'm barely listening to you because I'm just focused on when is the next time I'm going to go pick up my book and read. And so there's just this happiness that I find whenever I have a really good book. So this is your sign if you've been in a book rut. If you want to get back to it, pick up Fourth Wing. Or if you're not into, like, Romantasy. Although, let me tell you, girl, it's steamy. It'll. It'll impact your sex life. It'll impact your life. Like, you'll be good to go if you read it. So enjoy. Violet and Zaden are the main characters, and I'm obsessed with them. And I don't care if I'm coming off like a dork right now. I don't care. I need a new book, guys. Comment down below. What romantasy book should I read next? And it needs to be romantasy. I don't want something that has, like, human beings that are. Don't have any type of, like, power. I want dragons. I want fairies. I want smut. Okay? So comment down below. What is the next book I need to read? I love that you guys are loving the Sunday sessions lately, and a lot of the times I open with kind of just a topic, but I felt like today was important to just fully pour me into you and just give you guys as much wisdom as I can. Good advice, maybe bad advice. I don't know. I just want to talk through what you guys are going through and do a full episode of Questions of the Motherfucking week. So let's get into it. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the all in one finance app where you can bank, borrow and invest. Nobody really explains how your money is supposed to work for you, right? You just put it into a savings account and assume that's enough, right? But Daddy gang, the average bank Savings rate is 0.39% in interest, which basically means you're only earning pennies on your savings when it could be doing so much more. And that is where so Far comes in. With so far high yield checking and savings. The money sitting in your savings account right now can earn over eight times the national average with eligible direct deposit. And there is no account fees or overdraft fees, so you get to keep more of your money. You can also get your paycheck up to two days early. And when you sign up with eligible direct deposit, you can earn up to $300 welcome bonus which we absolutely love to see. Okay, so if you're ready to get more out of your money, sign up for Sofi Checking and savings@sofi.com slash call her daddy. Sofi Checking and savings is offered through SoFi Bank NA member FDIC terms apply. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Shopify. Whether you're testing a side hustle or launching a full blown brand online or in real life, local or global, Shopify takes all the guesswork out of starting a business. Plus, it's actually fun to build Daddy Gang. I know so many of you are entrepreneurs, so this one is for you. 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Start now@shopify.com daddy? Number one. I feel like this is so relatable to probably everyone watching, depending on the side you're on, but here we go. Hi Alex. I feel like I'm in a weird stage with my friends right now. I don't know if I'm the problem. I'm 245 and honestly still having my fun era. I like going out, traveling, meeting new people and not taking myself too seriously. But a lot of my friends have started to move to a more serious phase of life. They're settling down with long term partners, focusing heavily on their careers, talking about buying houses, getting engaged, all of that. And lately when we hang out, I can feel this subtle judgment from them about the way that I'm living my life. I love my friends and we've been close for years, but lately we've Been in completely different wavelengths. Is it just a normal phase that will pass or are these friendships at the end of their course? This is such a huge topic that I feel like you could do a million different episodes on just because it is the most. I just feel like honest and relatable topic to probably everyone in their 30s and their 20s and even their 40s. So. So I don't think that you are insane for feeling this way. I do think my first bit of advice is like, when friends start to all go in different directions because someone's like, yes, getting married and buying the house and they're doing that part doesn't mean they're ahead in life. That's just where they're at. And then you're still like enjoying your single life and you're partying. That is going to obviously cause a little bit of division within a friendship just because you guys are on such different pages that the relatability of like, topical conversation when you see each other, it's just not there. And so if anything, it's more just like listening and trying to understand and be supportive rather than being able to relate which friendship Most of our friendships are built on being able to relate. Oh, my God, we're in high school together, we're going through this. Or oh my God, we're in college together, we're going through this, or we're at the same job. I think sometimes people even experience it. If you meet a friend that you're at a job with and they leave or you leave if it kind of can disrupt the friendship because so much of your relationship was built on being at work together. And then when that is not the case anymore, you're like, what is our friendship based off of if not what it was originally started off of? Right. And so I think you saying that these friends are phasing into this. Clearly you guys were at one point on the same page. And so I want to validate you that, like, this is a huge separation to some capacity of your genuine, honest start to the relationship of what you guys related on. And now it has completely diverted. What I will say is to give my personal little anecdote, I am relating to this because I have two friend groups essentially. And in one of my friend groups, I am the kind of like oldest. Ish. And in terms of like, life, I'm the more like serious settle down, I guess you would call it. Like, you just referred to like, I got the house, I got married. I am very serious about my career. Matt and I have been talking about kids. Like, these are all things that we're working towards. And then I. All my other friends in that kind of friend group are a little bit on different pages, whether they're not married yet, but some of them have boyfriends, or some of them are fully single, enjoying clubbing life, all the good things. Or some of them are kind of getting more serious thinking about marriage. But, like, I'm the one that has kind of gotten all of those pieces of my life that I don't even. I don't even want to call it more established because it's just not like, it's all subjective. Right? But in that category, I'm there. Then in my other friend group, I am the youngest. I am the person that is. Like, every one of my friends in this group has kids. And I'm just constantly sitting there where they're talking about, oh, my God, and I have to bring him here, and I have to get my daughter here and this, and this was a disaster and this, and oh, my God, and the babysitter. And I constantly am, like, trying to remind myself that my problems do matter. I'm like, whenever I'm around them, sometimes I'm like, oh, my God. I don't even complain because they have so much going on with these kids, and I don't have kids. So I'm like, yeah, they're like, what's going on in your life? I'm like, oh, yeah. Bruce and Henry were really stressing me out last night. Like, no, it's not even comparable, But I recognize that I still can exist as me and still share things with that group of people. And I do. But I do get it. Like, I'm a little bit like. Like, you guys are so much more ahead of me in that department. And I kind of like, it's not that I don't matter, but it's just a thing that we go through. Right. My advice to you is with that group of friends who is more like, established and has kids around me, they have never made me feel like I am less than because I don't have kids yet or because I'm not in that preschool phase of life. If anything, what I love about them is they're so not threatened and in their life and they're happy with their life that they always ask me, like, okay, wait, what's going on? What's happening? Like, tell me the hot gossip. Like, tell us everything. And they enjoy almost, like, sinking their teeth into my part of life. Because they're not jealous. They're excited to Find out about what's going on in my life. And I feel for you that you can differentiate pretty quickly. Are your friends making subtle jabs, or are you insecure that you feel distance from them? So you're taking them talking about their situation situation as them being insensitive, which is so fair because you're internalizing it. But maybe they're not being actually assholes, you're just getting insecure. Or are they actually making comments like, God, Krista, like, you got to get it together. Like, how many more club floors can you, like, throw up on? And you're like, I plan a couple more. I think, like, I'm having a good time that I think you have to decipher and really try to get objective. But the overall, I guess, advice in this situation is I think sometimes with friendships, we have this really intense need to hold on to the best parts of the friendship that sometimes evolve and change. And we want to get back to that place that it started. And it's sometimes just not possible. Sometimes people grow, people change, circumstances change. And it's okay if you are not as close to someone as you were, and maybe it will swing back around. Like, I've had so many friends where we started so close, then we had a little bit of distance because similar to what you're going through, she ended up getting married. I was still on the streets in New York doing my thing. Like, we kind of didn't have much in common anymore. We'd catch up lightly, but it wasn't the same. And then when I met Matt and I got married, like, we had so much more to bond over. And then we got closer again. Not that we weren't friends, but just the actual close and the relatability was there. I also think we have to remember that in your 20s and your 30s, everyone is, like, having to be a little selfish, right? Everyone has to be focused on their own life, be focused on their careers and their romantic relationships. And if they want kids or don't they want kids, or if they're struggling to have kids, like, there's so much. And family don't even get me started. So I think the weight of life really comes at us in our 20s and 30s. And I think friendship is something that has to kind of ebb and flow because it is inevitable that so many people are going to be on different pages. And if you are not willing to just like, lightly adjust as it hurts. It sucks if you're not as close with someone, but if you're not willing to recognize, like, oh, we're just not as close right now because like we're on different pages. It stings a little bit, but it's worse when you try to like fit the peg in the round hole or whatever the fuck it's called. And you keep trying to force something that just right now maybe it needs a little bit of space. So I'm sorry you're going through that, but just know I feel like that's literally every one of my friends and I talk about this and we have so many different friend groups that you can kind of put yourself into a different scenario for. Like the fact that I'm you in one of my friend groups and then I'm the women you're talking about in another friend group. It's all it's life. Like that's what's gonna happen. And you just have to not be too hard on yourself and maybe find some more friends who are in that phase of life with you. And how beautiful like that will be a fun new group that you can hang out with. Doesn't mean you have to get rid of your old friends. Okay, next. Hi, Alex. I'm a 42 year old woman living in North Carolina. The dating scene is pretty bad here. But I was at the gym last weekend and this guy was checking me out. I didn't think anything of it until he asked for my when I was leaving. Okay, just pausing there like so proud of a man actually approaching a woman. Don't love that it's at the gym, but I love that you specify that it's when you're leaving, not when you're like mid rep and he's like hi Janice, wanna, wanna bang in the bathroom? Maybe that would have been hot. I don't know. You said. As we were texting to set a date, I found out he is only 25 years old. I don't get hit on by hot guys often anymore, so I don't want to pass up the opportunity. But is it in insane to still go on a date with this guy? Girl, no. Are you kidding me? This is what, this is what life is about. I mean, listen, I don't know if I'm 42 and single, like what I'll be looking for. But I'm sure it would be like a hot fudge. Like if Matt and I got divorced. I was 42 and single. Like maybe you're looking for something like that. You just said you haven't been hit on. Like you want to explore. You're not making this man your husband. Please, for the Love of God, don't make this man your husband, but have fun. I think that sometimes when you are single, no matter the age, we sometimes need to get outside of our comfort zone. Like, you probably go for the same man. You probably always go for the same type. And this will make you. Maybe this will make you come alive. Like, maybe you can teach this boy something. Right? I also just think, like, men do it all the time. Like, why can't women? He's of age. This is not creepy. It's a hookup. He approached you, you were looking hot at the gym. Imagine how hot you're gonna look on a date. I think we bang him and I. Yeah, I mean, we. I think we bang him and you let us know how it goes. And you're in your MILF era. Like, there could be a world where this reignites something in you. Like maybe you squirt on his face. I don't know. You never know until you try. So, Janice. That's not your name, but you know what I mean. Get out there. I love that for you guys. Remember the other Sunday session I did where I was like, nobody is approaching anyone in person anymore. I used to say a man approaching a woman at the gym was a cardinal sin. And it is. But you were leaving, and there's something that we're gonna take. Men approaching women. We're gonna take it. We're gonna take it. If you're not creepy and you did it in a right way, I am gonna say, go on a date with a man. If he ever approaches you and you're not repulsed by him and he doesn't come off as creepy, and you're like, huh, Go on the date. Next question. Hi, Daddy. I have been dating someone for about three years, and he is obsessed with his morning routine. He has a 5am alarm every morning, followed by a meditation App, cold shower, 30 minutes of journaling, and a green juice. There are no off days. When we first started dating, I pretended I was into it. I'd wake up early, drink the juice, do the meditating. Oh, girl, you're strong. But now that we're actually in a relationship, I'm exhausted. It makes me dread sleeping over at his place. How do I admit I'm not into this without disappointing him? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. This is my fucking nightmare. Oh, my God. Okay. You should never dread sleeping over your boyfriend's house. This should be a fun activity. This should be a oh, I'm taking an everything shower kind of night. You know, I'm gonna shave my Legs for this man. I'm gonna shave my underarms for this man. And the bush canoe, like, this is supposed to be fairy tales. Rainbows, butterflies, and sex. And instead, you are, like, sleeping at night, literally so stiff, praying to God. You're like, is it 5am yet? You're, like, tweaking out because you're so anxious about his 10 alarms that he sets. And then he literally wakes up at 5, and he's like, let's get after it, baby. And you want to cry, but you've committed to the lie. Oh, my God, that's the worst. It's like when I lied about, like, liking EDM to this one guy in college, and I was like, oh, my God, me, edm. Them. He's like, have you ever been to Firefly Festival? I was like, obviously. And he's like, wait, who's your favorite performer? And I was literally like, Everyone. How could I pick who was yours? And then he names them EDM or that. I don't even know. And I was like, no, wait, that was 100. My favorite. You're so right. And I kept on this lie to the point where he invited me to a concert, and I was like, hey, hey. I didn't know a thing about edm, okay? I didn't even know. I don't even know what EDM sounds like. And I went so far, so far down this. I changed my Facebook settings to be, like, EDM girl music. I was, like, stalking him, putting some of the songs that he had that he liked on his Facebook into my legs. Like, I was deep in the trenches. Thankfully, I never made this man my boyfriend. So I wasn't, like, in that car listening to EDM on our way to church in the morning. I never went to church in college, but you know what I'm saying? But this is your boyfriend. Like, you committed to this man. You're sleeping at this man's house, and you are green. Juicing it up. Wellness. Hitting hard, left, right, smacking it harder than ever in the morning. You want to die. You literally want to die. You want cheetos and a bagel, and you want to be hungover in bed watching Sex in the City on your Sunday, and instead, you're doing burpees. This is my. This is my personal help. Here's my advice. Oh, what would I do? What would I do? Because to his credit, he is thinking, you're. You're. You're one with him. Like, he's thinking, like, we're both getting swole together, bro. So the problem is how far you've taken the lie. What I do think you can just say is, like, hey, babe. Hey, babe. I am so always the sandwich, right? I'm so inspired by how serious you commit to and take your morning routine. And I love how healthy you are, but I think I got on that flow with you, and I really have enjoyed a lot of the moments you start crying, you're like, no, I really have enjoyed it. Stop. Like, I've really enjoyed it. But I think I'm realizing that I have just, like, a different need and want for my mornings and for the way that I approach my wellness journey, let's say. And I think sometimes it's getting to the point where, like, there are some mornings where I want to lay in bed and relax and enjoy myself after, like, a long week of work. And I feel like I have to get up and go, go, go with you. And I was wondering if. If it would be, nope, don't even ask this man for permission. So I think I'm going to do some mornings where I don't participate. And if you don't mind just, like, being a little quiet in the morning and just, like, sneaking out and going into your thing. Of course, I don't want to tell you not to do it, but I think I'm gonna, like. I think I'm gonna chill a little bit here. I'm getting a little burnt out. If this man is like, wait, so you're not coming to the gym with me at 5? What do you mean? What do you mean? We just went to Lululemon together. We bought new. We bought new Spanx. Like, we got matching outfits. Like, what do you mean, babe? What do you mean? As he's, like, doing another ginger shot. This may be not your guy, but I do believe that, like, because you've gone along with it for so long, maybe you just need to break the and. And start eating, like, a bagel in front of his face and be like, I'm not going. Okay, okay, off. I think you can do that. I don't imagine a world where this man would be like, what the is wrong with you? I think if anything, like I said, girl, I've been there. You just built the lie out a little too long and a little too hard. You committed so hard to the lie. You're now reaping the repercussions. This man's kind of done nothing to you, and thank God he's not the opposite end, where it's like, big belly beer Bob, who's just, like, 18 cases deep. Watching the sporting event. Never gets off the couch. Literally is pounding beers. His whole body is just, like, desiccating before your eyes. And you're like, oh, my God, this man is so unhealthy. And he, like, never does anything. Like, at least this man's, like, taking care of his body. Like, this is someone that will have longevity potentially in life and cares about. Well, let's make sure he doesn't care about his appearance too much. Like, are there, like, mirror selfies that are going along with these 5am jaunts? Because if there are. Oh. Oh, Sarah, I fear. I fear this for you maybe. Let's reel it in. Look at him. Look at the actions and look if you just ended up basically getting involved with, like, a soul cycle instructor and you're literally like, I think I got a little too carried away. I think I got a little too carried away. I got hooked. I feel like I'm living with goop and I gotta go. That's for you to decide. But damn, guys, there's nothing better than like, like, hitting them with, like, a little one, two punch of, like, a little white lie. A little white lie in the beginning. And you're just like, oh, my God, that white lie just made us actually go to the next level. And, like, it's so white lie. Like, it doesn't matter. And then they, like, fully commit and they're like, oh, my God, you do like that. And you're like, yeah, I love that. And they're like, oh, my God, do I have plans for us? And you're like, oh, my God, no way. And then you actually are four years in and you're doing something you fucking hate. But then it's like, you can't blame them because you're the liar. Oh, man, I'm actually crying. That is so funny. Oh, my God. I used to do that all the time. It's such an easy thing. Like, men are so stupid too. So, like, you can, like, white lie to pretend like you like something with them. And, like, there's obviously, like, the innocent one. Like, oh, my God, you like the Cowboys. I love the Cowboys. Easy. You buy a fucking jersey, you shake your tits every Sunday, and you watch Peyton Manning. Or who. Who's the nuts? Not you. Whatever. Whatever. Quarterback. He's retired. Whatever, quarterback. And you're fine. You're fine. But when those lies, baby girl, impact your life to the point where it takes over your life to the point where you're trying to run so far in the other direction, like, you're like, like I wanted to listen to heavy metal. By the time I was done with that man, okay, EDM was so taking over my life. I was like, I want screamo music. How about that? I want a fucking B, bash my head into the wall and I want to go listen to Metallica. It really can drive you somewhere where you didn't necessarily intend to be, but you're kind of fud. So take care of yourself, girl. And honestly, like, get a sleep mask, some earplugs, set the alarm for your normal time, and let's see if this man can respect your boundaries. Oh, that was a good one. Please comment down below. What are some embarrassing lies that you said to a man that like, like, seemed like, so innocent at the time? Like, oh, this will just make this easier. And then you were so far down in the lie train that you're like, oh my God, why did I ever lie to this man? Now I have to pretend to like this for the rest of my life. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by SoFi, the all in one finance app where you can bank, borrow and invest. Nobody really explains how your money is supposed to work for you, right? You just put it into a savings account and assume that's enough, right? But Daddy Gang, the average bank Savings rate is 0.39 in interest, which basically means you're only earning pennies on your savings when it could be doing so much more. And that is where SoFi comes in. With SoFi's high yield checking and savings, the money sitting in your savings account right now can earn over eight times the national average with eligible direct deposit. And there is no account fees or overdraft fees, so you get to keep more of your money. You can also get your paycheck up to two days early. And when you sign up with eligible direct deposit, you can earn up to $300 welcome bonus, which we absolutely love to see. Okay, so if you're ready to get more out of your money, sign up for SOFI Checking and savings@sofi.com. call her, Daddy. Sofi checking and savings is offered through SOFI Bank. NA member FDIC terms apply. Bye Daddy Gang. We are so, so, so, so back. It's the moment. It is really truly the moment we've all been waiting for. Spring is finally here. Thank you, God. The UV is getting high enough to tan, the outdoor concerts are lining back up. And suddenly the group chat that went completely silent all winter. Yes, it's popping off again. But none of that would be complete without a white claw. Okay, when the weather warms up. I am running to the store and grabbing some white. Their new blood orange flavor has become my go to. It comes in a variety pack and so everyone gets their favorite. I've already been stocking up to have my friends over for a little pool day. There's just truly nothing better than catching up as we lay out together. And yes, Bruce and Henry obviously get their own sunbed over there. The temperature in LA was literally almost 90 last weekend, which usually I personally would have hated. But I was actually so happy to be sitting in the pool sipping a crispy, crispy white claw and pretending I was back on last summer's Euro trip. Whether it's barbecues, brunches, or just girls night by the fire, I think we're all ready to make up for all the time we lost stuck inside this winter. Grab a pack from your local spot and grab Life by the Claw this spring. Please drink responsibly. Hard Seltzer with flavors White Claw Seltzer Works Chicago, Illinois Next. Hey Father. I have been no contact with my mom for almost a year after realizing in therapy that my anxiety came from being her emotional support growing up. My brother is also no contact, but my sister still has a close relationship with her. My sister understands why we stepped away and even acknowledges the unhealthy dynamics, but she refuses to set boundaries or be honest with our mom. It's starting to strain our relationship because I don't understand how she can see the issue and still stay so close. Do I confront her about it and try to convince her to go no contact or just let her have her own relationship with our mom? Okay. Whoa. That is. Oh, damn. Going no contact with a parent is, from what I understand, I've never done it, but I've talked to friends who have done it. I've talked to therapists. Like, it seems like one of the most painful decisions that you really have to make in your life because that means that your at one point, primary caregiver or lack thereof, should have been, has pushed you so far to a point that you have essentially had to cut them off in a way that like, literally feels like death. Like it feel. And it's almost harder than that because you're like, they're still out there. But I am actively choosing to not engage in a relationship with them and the strength that it takes to do that. I commend anyone who has been able to do it because from what I've talked with therapists and everything, like, it is one of the hardest decisions you'll ever make in your life. Not because, like, it's hard to not give in to a parent, right, who raised you, no matter how toxic they are. What I feel like with your sister and I had a situation in my life recently that's not fully applicable, but, like, when it came to grief, we were talking about it, and, like, I was watching two people grieve so, so differently. And so it was just such a significant difference, and they were just as close to the same person, and it was a whole thing. And you're watching these two people and you're like, wow, how can two people grieve so differently? But that's life, right? Like, their relationship to the person clearly was different in their eyes, and their reactions are different and their emotions are different, and that's you and your sister. Like, this doesn't mean that your sister is not so wounded on the inside and in so much pain and wanting your mom to get healthy and to not do what she's doing. But your sister has not been able to go no contact for a reason that I almost think you can empathize with her while still maintaining boundaries. I think you going no contact is your decision, but to try to, like, pull your sister into that, I actually think it will only make you feel like you could. She will feel resentment almost towards you if she decided to do that, that for you and not for herself. I also think what's probably really painful for you is, like, this is your mother. And in some way, you had. You made the hard decision to go no contact, but your sister is still speaking to her. And so I don't want to speak for you, but I'm. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. Like, there also could be some subconscious thing where you're also feeling guilty, like, she has an abandoned mom, even though we all should abandon this woman. But I have, and, like, the only tie I still have to my mother is through my sister. And so you're seeing still the dysfunction through your sister. And that's understandably, so triggering to you. And so you want your sister to get removed from it, so you are fully removed from it. And I think the answer to this is you need to just set boundaries with your sister. I never want to tell you what to do with mom. I know we all have such different situations with her, and I know it is beyond complicated, but I have made such a painful decision for myself that I knew I needed to go no contact. And in order to maintain a relationship with you, I need you to respect my no Contact with mom, which means I don't want to hear about her. Like, when we're together, I need us to talk about our relationship and what's going on in your life and my life. And I do not want to know or talk about mom because you're the only thing in my life that's threading me to her. And I have actively made the decision to remove her from my life, Life overall. I just will say, like. And I, I talk about this all the time with my mom and my therapist and my friends. Like family. When it comes to parents who are dysfunctional and immature, toxic, abusive, it is one of the biggest mind you will ever experience in your life. And I have so much empathy for, I've watched so many of my friends go through this, and it is, it is, it ruins families, it ruins parts of your life until you're able to be like, oh, my God, I can't let this fucking person control my life anymore. Yes, you were my mother or my father growing up, but, like, this is my life and I need to take ownership of it and get away from you because you're so fucking toxic. But saying that about a parent, like, it's close to impossible, right? Especially a mother like, you came out of this woman. Like, this woman is a part of you. You are a part of her. Like, there's so much complexity there. If you guys would ever want me to have like, a therapist on to talk about like, the specifics of dysfunction in families when it is stemming from one of the parental figures, I would be more than happy to do that. And even if you guys write in, like, really specific scenarios, because I bet a therapist would be so helpful in breaking that down of how to handle those situations. I remember back, back in one of my episodes I did was cutting off a parent who is narcissistic. And I had a therapist on and so many of you really related. And it broke my heart because I think it's more common to have a parent like that than to have a healthy parent. And that is so unfair to the child who is now an adult and, you know, experiencing the repercussions. But I, I believe you can do this. And I really, I, I, I think that your sister will understand. I think it's just going to take a couple of hard conversations. Okay, next. Hi, Alex. I need some help. I've been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year. I love him and he's my best friend, but I feel like I'm not sexually fulfilled by him. In the past, I'VE been with toxic men and the sex was really good. I can't tell if I'm just settling now or maybe I'm not recognizing a healthy connection. I feel like I need a dominant man, and I can't communicate that to my partner without killing the vibe. Help. Oh, It's so hard when you go from, like, toxic men to, like a healthy man. And you're like, all right, you're like cracking your neck. You're like, this is good for us. And your brain is like, toxic. And you're like, no, this is stable. And they're like, let's go back to Johnny. And you're like, shut the up. Johnny was. Was horrible to us. And it's like, but the sex was fun and we were on the edge. And you're like, stop it. Your brain does such crazy things to you. When you've been in these, like, toxic push and pull relationships. They're toxic, and they're toxic for a reason. But when you get out of them, there's a romantic. A romanticization. I don't know if I just said that right. And a glamorization that happens in our brains where it's like we lose all of the negativity and then we just, like, remember the good. And then all of a sudden we're like, that was such a thrill. Hey. And then we turn on like a movie and like the. The bad guy and the girl fall in love and you're like, hey, maybe Johnny wasn't so bad. And it's like he was just as bad, if not worse than you remember. And going back to him will only ruin your self worth even more. But we remember those things. And I think sex, when you have a toxic partner, that is the one thing that becomes really, really up when you get out of a toxic situation is the memory of the push and pull and your literal brain going from, oh, my God, I'm in fight or flight, and I think I'm gonna lose this person. And we just had a fight and then we got back together and then we had crazy good sex. That's not normal to constantly be going up and down and up and down in a relationship. But it is then normal for your brain to get a high when you guys get back together and have that makeup sex. So then when you find a normal partner that. That's stable and sweet and kind and is not going to fck with your emotions and scream at you for what you're wearing and get in a fight, and then you don't go out with Your friends, and then you make up, and then you have sex, and you're all over the place emotionally. Your dysregulated emotions cause sex to feel so heightened with a toxic partner that that just doesn't exist with a normal partner. And what I know is, like, you have to retrain your brain, you guys, because you also can't survive forever on that toxic partner. You are going to literally self just deplete yourself, and then you're going to self abandon. You're not going to be an individual anymore. So, like, you also have to go through. Okay, is this partner actually someone you love? Pause on sex for a minute because you caught. You obviously have such a negative connotation towards it, even though you think it's positive. Do you love this partner? They're stable. You're saying. What did you say? You said, like, I can't tell if the in, like, I'm sexually fully fulfilled by him. I want a dominant man. Do you want a dominant man or a toxic man? Don't lie to my face. Do you want a toxic man? A dominant man. I mean, sure, you could ask him to throw you up against the wall and, like, he can still be a nice man that treats you nicely, right? I think that if you genuinely have this healthy connection, the first part is you should feel safe enough to express this to your partner. Partner. Babe, I love you. I. You know, I was thinking about our sex life, and I'm like, I want to spice things up. I want to try some things new. And, like, I really want to do xyz. I think there's more times than not, a partner's always gonna be like, oh, okay, I'm down. If you position it, like, I was thinking about you. I don't know. I was, like, at work, I don't know what the I was doing. I was bored, and I literally just started thinking about our sex life. And I was like, I really want to try this. Like, where you're more dominant and I'm kind of submissive and blah, blah, blah. The guy, he's gonna be like, whoa, like, okay, like, where did this come from? You're like, I don't know. Like, I just. I want to try something new together. Great. But if you feel like you can't tell that to him or do. If you actually think, no, he'll do that. It's just. You're missing the toxicity. Then you need to get into therapy, because poor Garrett is gonna be like, I just flung you over my shoulder. I walked us up the stairs. I threw you against the bed, I handcuffed your arms to the headboard. I spread your leg, did it all. I brought the toys. I brought it. And, and, and you still were like thinking about Johnny therapy or have the conversation with him and let him tie you up. Let's see what happens. Let's see what happens. Sex can always be improved. I genuinely believe the last statement though is there is a chance that you're just not physically connected to this man. And it has nothing to do with that. He's a good guy. Like he could be toxic for all you. You. No, I'm not even going to go there. There's a chance. There's just no physical connection and you don't physically enjoy him. That's fair. You have to figure that out for yourself. Is it because you want him to be toxic or is it because you literally don't have a connection with him? I unfortunately can't get in bed with you to answer that for you. So you are going to have to do the hard hitting on the ground research and then get back to. Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Airbnb. So many of my friends don't live in the same state as me and so that means that we have to make extra, extra effort to make sure that we actually get to see each other and not let it go a year without all planning something. So my friends and I always make sure that we plan some type of trip and that is where Airbnb comes in. We always enjoy being like, okay, it's on someone's birthday coming up or we need a little getaway or we want to go and celebrate. Whether it's someone's getting married, whatever it be, we find a reason to get together. And Airbnb has been such an incredible place to book and for us to stay. They have so many different amenities. They have big kitchens. Maybe you if you want a hot tub, you can get a hot tub. If you want it to be on the beach, if you want to make sure they have a great kitchen, like you name it, you can customize it to whatever you are looking for. Whether you need a place for the friend group or somewhere calm and relaxing for a solo getaway, you'll find all kinds of options to help make the perfect trip on Airbnb. Be Call Her Daddy is brought to you by Ashley. 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So, Daddy gang, if you are looking for some new furniture, discover the new Ashley Lux collection by visiting Ashley in store or online@ashley.com l u x E okay, next. Oh, God. Okay. Hi, Daddy. I need help because I think I'm jealous of a dog. Okay, let's listen. I've been in a situationship for a while where I'm constantly wanting more attention and reassurance from this guy and barely getting it. He's emotionally distant from me, but with his dog, he's obsessed. Baby voice, cuddling, Instagram stories, constant affection. The dog is treated like royalty, so I know this guy is capable of what I'm looking for, but I'm just not getting it. How do I stop feeling insecure over a literal terrier? First of all, you guys know I'm a dog mom. I love. Oh, he takes Instagram stories. Constant infection, cuddling. I love this man with his dog. Yet this isn't about the dog though. Put the dog aside. Let's pretend there is no dog. You just sadly have something to compare it to. And unfortunately it's a four legged creature, which is even more sad. This man, unfortunately, you're watching him give attention to a dog because being like, I wish I could get that cuddle. That's really. That's really this. We're. We're bottom of the barrel right now. We are low. We are low, Britney. We are lower than. The bar is low. It's one thing if you see him like with his mom and you're like, oh, that's weird. Or the sister or a friend. We're talking about a terrier, okay? A little terrier who has no ill will towards you, okay? He shits and he pees and he eats his dinner and he cuddles his dad. What you're upset about is he's not giving you any reassurance because there's Nothing to reassure you about. It's a situationship. He's coming and going as he pleases, and he doesn't clearly like you enough to actually give you the energy that you are looking that his dog is even getting. I just think you have to always look at yourself when you're yearning for more from a man. When you're like, oh, I want more, I wish he would give it. Stop. Don't ever wish a man would give you more. If he's not, that's your answer. If you're like. But I just feel like if he could just. I wanna know. If he wanted to cuddle you and take Instagram stories with you like he's doing with his dog, he would. You'd be right in between. The terrier would be right in between you and him. Okay, Frank Terrier. Brittany. Boom. A fucking sandwich. It'd be a heavenly Sunday. You're all just cuddling together. Heather, you're not there. You're not even getting the invite. Like, I don't think that this is the dog's problem. I think that this man is fully showing you where his allegiance lies. And it's not to his dog. It's just not to you. It's not fun. It's not fun. I know. And I know some people be like, God, that's so harsh. This is the harsh reality we need to. When. Whenever we write in saying, I feel this. And I feel like, I wish he would do this, and I wish he would do this. That wish up. When you wish upon a star. I don't know what the rest of the song is. And if it's dreams come true, we'll cut that. Okay. Because dreams don't come true when you wish for anything with a man. If he wants you, you will know. Whoa. Let's get a load of this one. Help. All caps. I accidentally hooked up with my building's doorman after a holiday party. I'm so obsessed with you. Okay. We haven't addressed it since, but I have to see him basically every day. And it's so awkward knowing I have to face him when I go down to get my hungover breakfast burrito delivery in the. Is the bane of my existence right now. I'm attracted to him and down to hook up again, but the vibe is really awkward right now, and I don't know how to move forward. Oh, my God. First of all, you lucky dog. I have never in the history of ever had a hot doorman. There has never been in a doorman in my life that I Was like, bert, you wanna bang? Like, never. Oh, my God. And also the best part for you is you didn't wake up and be like, oh, my God, look at Jerry. He's, like, 65. When I was hammered, he looked 35. And I thought his cane was like his baseball bat from baseball practice. I was so up. I. I this old man, like, no, you woke up, and you said I would again. And now it's just about finding that rhythm. I kind of love this. There's something really hot that could go down here because, ooh, what if he goes on his little break? But his break is to go up to the sixth floor and go into 602. And do you imagine the things that you could do now? The problem is, if this doesn't work out, then it's just going to continue to be awkward. So I think that this is what you're going to do. Take the risk. Risk. You know, take a risk. Take a chance and break away. I think you're gonna go down next time you're going down because it's. You gotta go outside. And I think if he's there, you could either get your food delivery. So it's a little bit more of, like, a pause, so you have a reason to, like, stay there for a second. Or if there's, like, the males near him and, like, make sure you, like, wear those yoga pants. But I think you just be like, hey, how have you been? I think it's that chill. This man. Think about this from his perspective. Doorman Manny. Let's call him Manny. Oh, Manny, you sexy little thing. Doorman Manny is not trying to get fired, bro. Doorman Manny is like, damn, I that in 602, and she's hot as. And I can't believe that I that in 602, that's hot as. And Manny's not trying to get his job whacked from him. Okay, so Manny's just trying to man the job desk, and man is trying to keep his eyes above, you know, the neck level. He's not trying to look at your cleavage when you're coming down. He's not trying to make eye contact with you, because you got to be the one to initiate, right? Not that there's an hr. I wonder if there's HR issues when it comes to doormen and residents. Regardless. Yeah, he could make you, like, feel unsafe in your home, you know, so you could, like, whatever, but you're not unsafe. You want more from Manny. So I think you just have to approach him because he's not Going to approach you because that's that. Think about it. He's being so respectful. Doorman Manny is like, I'll wait for my queen to come back to me. I'll wait for my princess to get up from her slumber. She must had a hard night last night. And I think you have to be the one. And I think it's going to be as easy as a, hey, how have you been? And it may take a second. He may be so thrown off. He may be, like, not knowing if it's a trap. So he may be like, yeah, I've been good. How are you? And then you're like, good. And then you can, like, walk by or you can have the balls and you can be like, good. Like, like, what are you doing this weekend? Like, do you have any, like, I don't know what their times are called. Like, do you have any time off? Like, from. From the building? Do you have any time off, like, want to hang? Literally? Go for it, Manny. What is that song? Manny doesn't know. That's not a song. That's not a song. You are so in. It's crazy. It's now just fully on you. And I think that it's more awkward to skirt around man dog than to just get in there and fuck his bones again. And you can also establish. I know that this is awkward. You're literally in my building. Like, this could go wrong. But, like, let's have fun while it lasts. And don't they rotate like, dorman rotate? Okay, so, like, while you're fucking him, get his schedule. So if things do go south, girl, you know his every fucking move. And you will will beep, bop, boop around. Whenever he's down there, you're taking the south exit. Or, you know, you're crawling on the floor to get past Manny. Or you're just not leaving your home for four days so you don't have to see Manny. It's a classic. I love that for you so much. Everyone, moral of the story this week is your doorman and get in there where you need to get in there. What else did we talk about? Really good stuff today. Really good, important stuff. I am feeling so inspired. I hope you guys guys enjoyed this episode. I wanted to just be a light, fun, bright episode with a little sprinkle of family trauma. It's a classic on Call Her Daddy. I love you guys so much. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful upcoming week. I know you're probably sitting there thinking, oh, God, tomorrow's Monday. No, no, it's not. It's only a Monday. If you make it, pretend it's Friday tomorrow. And then after you realize it's not Friday, then you can tell yourself. But don't let yourself get the anxiety and the stress of the stuff. Sunday scaries. We're not doing it here on Caller Daddy today. Okay, Love you guys so much. I will see you on Wednesday. Goodbye. Your expensive skincare doesn't actually matter if you're skipping spf. 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