Call It Locking In, Glow-Up Goals, and Going Back-To-School!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Call It What It Is

Episode: Call It Locking In, Glow-Up Goals, and Going Back-To-School!
Hosts: Jessica Capshaw & Camilla Luddington
Release Date: September 15, 2025
Podcast by: iHeartPodcasts

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Episode Overview

Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington—real-life BFFs best known for their roles at Grey Sloan Memorial—gather for a candid, relatable conversation about seasonal transitions, personal growth, and the enduring chaos of balancing work, family, and friends. This episode dives into the "lock in" trend for fall, strategies for creating new habits, the meaning of radical acceptance, and how back-to-school energy affects them as working moms (with plenty of hilarious asides and heartwarming moments about their friendship along the way).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Back to School & Fall Energy

[03:17–08:42]

• Both hosts share their experiences of September marking the return to work and routines—describing how TV production runs similarly to a school calendar.
• Jessica discusses attending the ABC End-of-Summer Soirée, walking the red carpet, and spotting colleagues and celebrities ("You were the first picture carousel and I was like, yeah, damn right, she's the first." – Camilla, 04:43).
• Camilla details missing the soirée due to shooting outside in 100 degree weather and almost getting heatstroke ("I would have looked ridiculous next to you because you were glowing. I would have been sweating." – Camilla, 08:04).
• Humorous fashion misadventures: Camilla almost wore a tweed fall outfit to a summer event due to her British logic about seasonal transitions, much to Jessica's amusement.

2. The Ticketmaster Struggle & Concerts

[09:00–11:46]

• Camilla recounts her epic battle securing Oasis tickets through Ticketmaster, empathizing with Taylor Swift fans.

  "Can I tell you what number me and my family were on Ticketmaster? ... 100,000 in line." – Camilla, 09:53

• They both lament the stress and expense of concert ticketing and the high-pressure decision-making experience.

3. The "Lock In" Trend for Fall

[11:46–14:26, 18:49–23:49]

• Jessica introduces the concept of a “lock in”: Focusing and optimizing habits between September and December, as a sort of preemptive New Year's Resolution.

  "It's moving New Year's resolutions...so people are making all these pledges to do things that, you know, optimize life." – Jessica, 13:06

• They explore what it means to “lock in”—from fitness routines, limiting phone use, journaling, to meal prepping.
• Camilla asks if "lock in" is about choosing one major goal or doing everything at once. Jessica explains it's a personalized experience—you "lock in" to what you specifically need.

  "I think you just can make a list of the things that you want to lock in about." – Jessica, 19:55

• Both agree that phone use before bed is a challenge and discuss real-life attempts to set healthier digital boundaries ("I can't be trusted. The other night I got into bed... Two hours." – Jessica, 23:24).

4. Momentum, Wellness, and Preparation Hacks

[24:10–28:09]

• Jessica credits getting back into regular workouts to better health, while Camilla says timing is her main struggle, preferring morning workouts.
• They commiserate on "hustle culture" and parental expectations, but stress the power of preparation, especially for morning routines.

  "The most stressful time for parents is... 7:16am during the school...and I do feel like I found a workaround—set up breakfast the night before..." – Jessica, 25:26

• Camilla shares the chaos of her children remembering unfinished projects right before school and contemplates making earlier wake-ups her "lock in".

5. Social Media's Role in Goal-Setting

[28:16–29:56]

• Camilla discusses how her algorithm pushes wellness content, influencing her goal-making ("It leans into, like, these are the supplements you should be taking...").
• Jessica’s feed is a mix of dogs and self-help, prompting her to reflect on the difference between inspiration and overwhelm.

6. Emotional Growth: The “Fixer” Tendency

[29:56–32:26]

• Jessica confesses she tends to rush to fix problems, but is working on being a better listener—even getting “reports” from family that she’s improving.

  "I've gotten a lot better at listening and not trying to fix it right away." – Jessica, 29:56

• Camilla points out the value of asking, “Do you want me to listen or help?” noting this as a possible “lock in” goal itself.

7. Radical Acceptance Explained

[38:41–49:15]

• Jessica defines radical acceptance as acknowledging unchangeable pain without adding extra suffering—citing both small (early call times) and big (relationships) examples.

  "It transforms unavoidable pain into bearable and sometimes even meaningful... because you're not resisting the pain." – Jessica, 39:05

• Camilla asks how it applies to relationships. Jessica references “Let Them”—the concept of not trying to fix or change others, but setting boundaries and accepting what is.

  "Radical acceptance is, they hurt your feelings. Now what are you going to do about it? You're not denying it." – Jessica, 41:53

• Camilla reflects on breakups, wishing she’d known radical acceptance in her 20s ("I wish I'd known this in my 20s when... there was so much sitting in it and in the suffering and the replaying...").
• Both agree radical acceptance is a discipline and could itself be a "lock in" goal for fall ("Maybe radical acceptance is a lock in." – Camilla, 47:07).
• Jessica uses LA traffic as a metaphor, noting that resisting the inevitable only increases suffering. They laugh about their own (sometimes unsuccessful) attempts to be zen in gridlock.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On friendship & red carpets:

  "Did you geek out?"
  "Oh, absolutely. I mean, now I'm like, where is my phone?...I'm wanting to FaceTime my kids from the red carpet."
  – Camilla & Jessica, [05:13]

• On digital discipline:

  "If you have your phone in your pocket, you're going to look at it...if you give a mouse a cookie. Okay. Downward spiral from there."
  – Jessica, [21:25]

• On morning routine chaos:

  "The most stressful time for parents is...7:16am during the school [year]...kids refusing breakfast, misplacing shoes, and then battling you to get them dressed."
  – Jessica, [25:26]

• On radical acceptance & suffering:

  "Suffering, the replaying of the pain, the resisting...that is the optional fall apart...it stays with me so much longer than facing it."
  – Jessica, [44:23]

• On embracing 'Lock In':

  "I know you, and I was gonna say those around you, but I don't really think it's about those around you. I think it's about you."
  – Camilla, [32:02]

• The traffic metaphor:

  "When you look around, the people who don't accept that they're stuck in that car...are losing their [minds] and suffering for no reason because the losing their [minds] isn't going to change the circumstance."
  – Jessica, [48:08]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Back-to-school & work return: 03:17–08:42
• Ticketmaster concert wars: 09:00–11:46
• Exploring "Lock In" trend: 11:46–14:26, 18:49–23:49
• Wellness, mornings, and prep: 24:10–28:09
• Social media & goals: 28:16–29:56
• Listening vs fixing: 29:56–32:26
• Radical acceptance (deep dive): 38:41–49:15

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Tone & Style

Conversational, self-deprecating, and supportive. The hosts frequently poke fun at themselves, each other, and the chaos of life as working moms and friends. They balance personal anecdotes, lighthearted riffs, and genuinely insightful moments—making their advice feel approachable and real.

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Takeaways

• Locking in is about intentionally focusing on new habits—whatever matters most to you, not what social media or hustle culture prescribes.
• Fall offers a natural "fresh start," especially for parents or anyone in cyclical work.
• Radical acceptance is a vital skill for emotional resilience: acknowledge what you can't change, minimize extra suffering, and focus on what you can do next.
• It's okay to let go of the instinct to fix, both for yourself and others; often, listening and accepting is the best support you can give.
• Everyday chaos (like LA traffic, forgotten art projects, or missing shoes) is inevitable. Embracing it with humor and some prep goes a long way.

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If you want the cozy, motivating vibe of chatting with your besties—peppered with practical advice and the comforting reminder that nobody has it all figured out—this episode is for you!

Transcript

[A]

This is an I Heart podcast.

[B]

Hey, can we talk about Plan B for a second? What exactly is it?

[A]

Okay, Plan B is emergency contraception you take after unprotected sex. Think of it as backup birth control. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation to help prevent pregnancy before it starts.

[B]

And it's available right off the shelf.

[A]

Yep. It's at all major retailers in all 50 US states. No prescription ID or age requirement. Ah.

[B]

Together we've got this.

[A]

Follow Plan B on insta at Plan B One Step Use as directed Stop.

[C]

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[A]

Call it what It Is with Jessica.

[B]

Capshaw and Camille Luddington, an iHeartRadio podcast.

[A]

Well, hello, hello, hello, hello, Call it crew. And welcome to an episode of Call it what It Is.

[B]

Oh, how are you?

[A]

I'm so good. I saw pictures of you all over my Instagram because I get tagged in it, and I was like, God, I'm looking gorgeous. And I realized it wasn't me.

[B]

Am I. Am I part of your. Does your. Your algorithm serve me up?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I look great that day.

[B]

You.

[A]

We gotta talk about a few things because I did a few things this weekend and you did a few things on. On. You did a lot on Friday.

[B]

Well, it feels like we're back to school and kind of back to work, which is always an interesting thing about network television, is that I routinely, if not still will say, I'm going back to school. I mean, work. Because it follows the same sort of a school year. And so we go back to work, you know. Well, in this case, it was a little bit different, but usually it feels. It's. It's like a school year. So, yes, everyone's back to school. And now we are definitely back to work and starting to promote, you know, all things that are coming your way for the fall lineup. It still blows my mind that. That I'm on a new show that's right before Grey's Anatomy.

[A]

I can't. I actually can't. And I was like, I get so, like, excited for, you know, you and everything. And I was, like, scrolling on my Instagram and the abc. Obviously, I follow ABC on Instagram. Their first picture from that whole. Because Jessica just went to our summer sw. Our end of summer soiree.

[B]

Yes. Abc.

[A]

And you were the first picture Carousel. And I was like, yeah, damn right, she's the first.

[B]

Well, you know, I got out of the car and it was actually the most beautiful, you know, end of summer night. And I think I've just been moving. So, like, I've just been going from thing to thing to thing. I haven't had a lot of time to think about the thing I'm going to next. And so I got out of the car and there's this, you know, the red carpet and the line to go in, and it's everyone from Dancing with the Stars, which we already know. How I feel about that. If you.

[A]

I know. Did you geek out.

[B]

Oh, absolutely. I mean, now I'm like, where is my phone? Where. Where. Where are all my selfies? I'm, like, wanting to FaceTime my kids from the red carpet.

[A]

Yeah, you are super nerd.

[B]

And then as I sort of crept along, I looked over my shoulder and I see Chandra Wilson and Meg. And I'm like, no, this was an incredible. You know, now what am I. What's going on now?

[A]

You guys, Meg is our showrunner on Grey's Anatomy, and we've just like, we.

[B]

We love Frank. We love her. Yeah. So then we went in and took some photos, and then it was really cute. You know, People magazine sets up a booth with the most talented photographer. And it was. It was like looking ahead and looking back at the same time. Because I was. I was like, well, they said, you. Will you take pictures with the Grey's Anatomy as well? And I was like, yes.

[A]

I love that. You double showed it. You did a double bill.

[B]

I did. You did a double billing. I did. I did a double billing. Well, you know, it's the same night of television. Thursday nights, Thursday nights, 9pm 911-nashville. And then 10pm Grey's Anatomy. Divulge all the secrets.

[A]

I was supposed to be there with.

[B]

You and all the crew at the ABC summer soiree. I was missing you terribly. We were gonna have a call of what it is. People magazine photo session.

[A]

I know.

[B]

We're gonna have everyone out.

[A]

Yeah. Bring the mics. Just set up shop.

[B]

Yes. That's what I was gonna do. I was ready for it.

[A]

Should have done it.

[B]

Coordinating outfits. I was wearing yellow. You were gonna wear the hot pink.

[A]

Well, listen, I have some comments about this whole thing. Okay, first of all, I was supposed to go. The day before is on Friday, the day before on Thursday, we shot outside. I can't tell you guys what it is that we shot, but we shot outside in Burbank in California in almost 100 degree weather for 15 hours. You guys and me and, like, the crew, we just. I felt like I was dying. I felt so nauseous. I was like, I can't even see the other actor I'm working with. Like, and I'm dizzy.

[B]

Sweat.

[A]

And so, yeah, I was like.

[B]

I thought.

[A]

I was like, oh, my God, maybe I'm, like, coming down with COVID or something. The nurse came and gave me some, like, hydration stuff and some Tylenol, and I was like. But I think I'm gonna just have to, like, skip out on the evening. Like, I don't feel good. And even the next day, I was feeling a little bit blah, blah, blah. But I have to say, I'm so glad I didn't go because I saw the pictures and my outfit would have looked so not right to this event. I had.

[B]

What'd you go for?

[A]

I. I leaned all the way. I saw summer soiree, and I thought, whatever.

[B]

You would like. A hula skirt. What do you like?

[A]

I. I went tweed.

[B]

Fall. Oh, no.

[A]

Tights.

[B]

Oh, you didn't. You would have been wearing tights and a tweed jacket.

[A]

I would have. And a tweed, like, dress thing. Yes. And I was gonna. And I looked at the pictures, I was like, well, thank God I didn't go.

[B]

First off.

[A]

I would have looked ridiculous next to you because you were glowing. I would have been sweating.

[B]

No, we just might have looked like we were in different seasons.

[A]

Totally. But everyone else was in summer.

[B]

But. But you knew that what the weather was, right? Like, you just talked about how hot it was. So the tweeted and the tights was.

[A]

Totally.

[B]

Was a fashion. Was fashion motivated or.

[A]

It was fashion motivated. I thought, like, you're bringing fall. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I felt like Miranda from, like, the Devil Wears Prada.

[B]

Like, fall.

[A]

What are you doing? It's the end of summer. That means fall. And so I would have looked ridiculous. And you and everyone else were full blown end of summer, as you should have been.

[B]

We were coming out of clamshells. We were. We were. We were with fans blowing on us. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was. It was. It was not. It was not chilly. It was hot. It was still hot. Los Angeles, you know, so hot that day, too. Beginning of September is very hot.

[A]

I did do something really cool this weekend, though, because on Sunday, I did do something like I could faint in the heat. My family, my two brothers and my niece flew into town and we went to the Oasis concert. Very British of you, can I tell you? Okay, I just need everyone to know. I saw everyone complaining about the Ticketmaster Taylor Swift situation. Okay. I saw that. And I had not, luckily, very, like, I understand. This is so lucky. I did not experience that. Right? Like, I was able to be all schmoozy, schmoozy about the tickets, right. For Oasis. I ticket mastered it. And I just need you to explain to you, because have you ever. Have you ever actually had to, like, wait in line, Wait in line on Ticketmaster?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can I tell you what number me and my family were on Ticketmaster? Because we're on. On separate laptops trying to. 100,000 in line.

[B]

What?

[A]

100. I was 30, 000 in line. Four tickets in London and then I retried them for LA because we wanted four tickets. We couldn't get four tickets. Retried it for LA. I was 17, 000 in line.

[B]

What?

[A]

I waited hours.

[B]

But those are the numbers for just that one concert?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Wow. Oasis is a lot more popular than I thought they were.

[A]

Are you kidding? It was ridiculous.

[B]

Where'd they play?

[A]

The Rose Bowl. It was amazing. Yeah, it was beautiful.

[B]

So you got tickets?

[A]

We got tickets. We got tickets and we got to go and it was incredible. But I just have to say, I, it. It really, I really understand the Ticketmaster pay now after ticketing Oasis.

[B]

And were they reasonable? Because when I went on also, they were just very, very pricey.

[A]

They are really expensive, I have to say. Like, they, they're definitely expensive. Like even all the way at the back, like they're still in the hundred. There's no like $90 ticket that I saw. And here's the thing that I hate about ticket Razor too. I just have to say this really quick. When it pops up on the screen, you have a timer. You have like your certain timer. And literally I was drenched in sweat and I'm clicking on different seats and then they're going, I'm checking out. And those seats are gone. So now I'm like, oh, crap. So I can't even imagine. I wonder if Taylor Swift was worse. I don't know. I don't know.

[B]

They were. Well, they drive urgency. And then you just have to do it. You just do it. You just press.

[A]

Yeah. And then you're like, yeah, sure. The thousand dollar ticket.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Great.

[B]

Perfect. I'm lucky. I'm lucky to spend this thousand dollars.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And then you're like, holy, I just won. Hit us up in the comments because I want to know if. If for Taylor Swift, it literally people were waiting in line in like the hundred thousands. I just want to know.

[B]

I don't know. Well, it sounds stressful. And today's topic is a little bit sit side to saddle to stress. It is. Which is this, this new trend which I actually had not heard about. Had you heard about this?

[A]

No, I hadn't heard about it until you said it. And then I had to. And I still am, I still am kind of confused about it, what exactly it is. And I know that you know more than me, so I want you to like, explain it a little bit.

[B]

I started hearing about it and then I started. It's like anything when you start looking For a car. You see the car everywhere. So all these people are talking about locking in, which. Yes, the phrase I think I first started hearing maybe like a year or so ago. And it was more like the. It was more like the kids, you know, the teenagers, they'd be like, you gotta lock in. And that really just meant, like, you had to. Exactly how it sounds. Like, you just, you. You focus, you lock in. And like, I am, you know, locking in on my schoolwork, or I'm locking in on sport, or I'm locking whatever it is. But now I guess it's sort of been around long enough, and now it's been re. Rejiggered so that it's about locking in and creating better or best habits and practices in the period of time between the beginning of September and the end of December. So it's the anti New Year's resolution or not the anti.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

It's moving New Year's resolutions. It's scooting it up on the calendar. So people are making all these pledges to do things that, you know, optimize life.

[A]

And it's specific to fall. It's specific to, like, it's lock in time. This is. Is it. Because this is usually the season. The seasons where people get, like, more indulgent. Right?

[B]

Too many pumpkin spice lattes.

[A]

I mean, is there too many?

[B]

I mean, we'll talk about this later.

[A]

But we're steering in the opposite direction of indulgence. And we're locking into, like, we're gonna make this the lifestyle for the fall winter. And it's. It's. Yeah, yeah, it's.

[B]

It's also. It. I think it sits pretty close to extreme discipline. Like, really, Like. I mean, it's. It also sounds like an actual grab bag of everything I've ever heard of that's supposed to make your life better. In, like, one idea. It's like vision board manifest, prepare 10,000 steps.

[A]

Journaling.

[B]

Journaling. You're. You're letting go. You're leveling up.

[A]

You're not checking phones.

[B]

Not checking phones. I would know.

[A]

Definitely.

[B]

Don't ever. Don't ever pick up your phone. Packing lunches or ordering lunches.

[A]

Oh, you mean your food prepping. Like, you're.

[B]

You're just doing all this stuff while you're doing the other stuff that you do that's already just. I'm stressing myself out. Just saying.

[A]

I know. I was like, I can't tell this. Like, so stressful to me. Okay, this is not a drill. The wait is officially over. The next up Live Music finals are here and I am so into this. Mark your calendars for September 26th because Tick Tock Live and iHeartRadio are bringing us the biggest night in live music streaming straight from the iconic iHeartRadio theater in LA. 12 artists you've probably already been low key, obsessed with are stepping up for the performance of their lives. We're talking finals career defining, no going back kind of moment. And check out this judging panel. Tom Pullman, iHeartMedia's Chief Programming Officer, Beata Murphy, Program Director of 102.7 Kiss FM, Justina Valentine from MTV's Wild and Out and viral guitarist John Bretto, legit music royalty JoJo on the radio and EJ from 102.7 Kiss FM are hosting. So it's gonna be so fun, funny and full of surprises. And you get to vote too, for the People's Choice Award. I love that. Don't miss a second. Watch it all unfold live on TikTok on September 26th from 7 to 9pm Pacific Time, only on the official Tick tock handle at TikTok Live. Underscore us again. That's Tick Tock Live. Underscore us Together, let's witness the birth of the next music superstar.

[B]

Hey, can we talk about Plan B for a second? What exactly is it?

[A]

Okay, Plan B is emergency contraception you take after unprotected sex. Think of it as backup birth control. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation to help prevent pregnancy before it starts.

[B]

And it's available right off the shelf?

[A]

Yep, it's at all major retailers in all 50 US states. No prescription I ID or age requirement.

[B]

Ah. Together we've got this.

[A]

Follow Plan B on Insta at. Plan B. One step. Use as directed.

[C]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Okay, so my question is if you're gonna do the. They call, they're calling it the great lock in for the fall, right? Ok so if you do the great lock in trend or this lifestyle like rebrand, okay, are you adopting one thing or are you supposed to sort of like lock in on everything? Like no phone journaling 10,000 steps, eat healthy. Is that what it is?

[B]

It seems to be whatever you need to lock in on and it's, it's a custom experience is what it sounds like. So like dry January is pretty self explanatory, right? Like you're not sober for January. This isn't directional in what you're taking out or not, but it's you doing a self assessment of what it is that you need to lock in on and then you choose. So like I don't know, like is there a goal all year long that you've been putting off where you're like oh okay, if I had a specific amount of time, this is what I'm going to lock in about. And I mean again I'm, I don't really know and I don't know that there's an author to this by the way. So there might not even be a right way to do it. But I think you just can make a list of the things that you want to lock in about.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Instance I heard someone say like phones like not Even in the bedroom. Like you have a charging station outside of your bedroom. Your phone goes night. You go night night. And it's not nowhere near you. I think this is something that actually would be beneficial for me to lock in about.

[A]

Well, here's my thing. This is where I go. Because I watch a lot of datelines, so I'm like, hang on a second.

[B]

Before bed. In bed.

[A]

No, I'm just saying, like someone breaks into the house. Now your phone's all the way downstairs because you're doing the great lock in right now. You're like, hell, we are walking past like, you know the guy from Screen. And you're like, sorry, dude, I'm doing the great lock in. I gotta call 91 1. I've got. Okay, let's. What's the next.

[B]

I got too specific. Maybe this was not the right. This was not the right example you got.

[A]

I. I'm thinking in terms of like, you know, listen, I watch a lot of 2020.

[B]

Okay. So let's say it's. Let's say it. Let's say it's, you know, it's like. Yeah.

[A]

Or you turn it off it. Like by 8pm you're not looking at your phone. That would be great for me. I do find my. I don't even want to look at the amount of hours that I look at my phone because I look at it so much on set. Are you still not bringing your phone to set?

[B]

I haven't been bringing my phone to set.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

But now that we're about to actually genuinely premiere, I have been wanting to get some, you know, behind the scenes.

[A]

Yeah. Pictures and stuff.

[B]

And I realize I have nothing because I haven't had my phone.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You gotta get contact.

[B]

Nothing happens.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I've been trying to bring it and put it in little pocket. But if anyone, if no one heard me talk about this, it's. Because what we all know is true is that if you have your phone in your pocket, you're going to look at it, you're going to bring it out, you're going to look at it and then you look at one thing and you're distracted. And then you start looking at something else. And then, you know, if you give a mouse a cookie. Okay. Downward spiral from there. But so I feel like for me it would center more around, like another one would be health and wellness. I don't know. It would be great to work out before you start your day.

[A]

I guess. Like, is the lock in that you're. Is part of the lock in that you're being held accountable. So it's like if you lock in, you can't be wishy washy about it. It's like, no, no.

[B]

Okay, but here's my question about the lock in. Yeah, it's all this, like, boomerang, like, push, pull stuff where it's like you're supposed to put your oxygen mask on first and take care of yourself. Well, what if taking care of yourself is not radically burning yourself out because you're so, you know, thinking that you need to do all these different things and lock in. Like, what's the pressure part? I don't understand. Like, we already have so much to do. Why do we have to do so much more?

[A]

Yeah, I guess. I guess on the lock in would be like if you put your. Okay working out like every single morning and. And food prepping like that, to me seems like, oh, my God, that's a lot of effort. Right? Maybe at the end of. I'm sure at the end of three months, you would feel four months, whatever it is, you would feel amazing. But I think that the other things, like stopping looking at your phone at like 8 or something like that, those are things that are. You're not having to go out of your way to do and then.

[B]

But they have great benefits.

[A]

Yes. Yes. Like, I'm gonna be in bed every night by this time.

[B]

I like that. That's a good lock in.

[A]

I think that I could definitely do without scrolling on my phone right before bed.

[B]

I actually cannot do that.

[A]

You can't? I'm so bad at it.

[B]

I can't be trusted. I can't be trusted. The other night I got into bed and I was so proud of myself because it was early. It was. It was in the sweet. And I was working the next morning, and I was FaceTiming one of the kids, and I was so proud of myself. And then I got off the FaceTime and I was like, oh, I'm just gonna, you know, I don't know, do a couple things that I always forget to do on my phone. Two hours. Yeah, two hours.

[A]

I think this is very normal for a lot of people.

[B]

Very tired the next day. Deeply tired. Like, the kind of tired where I was like, I'm like. I felt like I was back in high school. And I was like, your mom tells.

[A]

You to go to bed.

[B]

You're like, I'm fine. I don't get tired. And the next day you're like, yeah, exhaust. Yeah, I was so tired. It was not. It was really terrible. So, yeah, it really, that whole thing is very real.

[A]

Okay, what is one thing? What is an area of your life that you have already. You already feel like you've made great progress in this year? I know my answer. Since I've been, like, on medication for my thyroid, I 100 have started to get back into working out, which feels so satisfying. I mean, I was definitely not. So I'm very excited about that. Like, I feel like that's my little. That's my little lock in that I try and at least work out three times a week.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I have. I've actually. I've been pretty good about that too. And you feel better.

[A]

You really do. You really do.

[B]

But it is. But the challenge is the timing. For me, it's just, you know, it's. It's finding the time. I'm not an afternoon worker. Outer.

[A]

Yeah. No, me not. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So it's gotta happen in the morning or it doesn't. Well, here's the thing that I find to be very. When I was doing all reading, I was thinking, you know, the thing that really helps me in the whole hustle culture and you got to do it all and optimize it all and then. Then do all these other things and. And when you have kids and partners and expectations and all that stuff is I'm so helped by preparation. There was this whole part of it where they were saying that the most stressful time for parents is. It's very specific. 7:16am during the school.

[A]

You know what's so funny is I 100% agree. 7:16, that's like 7:15 is always a nightmare. That's always around breakfast time for me. And I think it's what it said. I think the survey is what it. Like where we found this is what it said.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It drives me crazy.

[B]

Yeah. Because the stressors are. Well, so I was reading the Stressors and it said kids that are refusing breakfast, misplacing shoes and then battling you to get them dressed. And I thought, hmm, you know, I do feel like I found a way a workaround here. I set up breakfast the night before. So it's like, like, like all the stuff is like, literally ready to come out of the fridge or be like, you know, fried up or heated up or whatever. So it's like soups easy. I put my oxygen mask on first by making my cup of coffee first. I come down before them.

[A]

Do you honestly whip up breakfast for them the night before?

[B]

Well, I mean, like, whip up.

[A]

Are you making like a scrambled egg situation? And.

[B]

Oh, maybe I'll crack the eggs and scrambled eggs in the morning. I mean, like, I make the eggs, you know, fresh, but, like, we'll do. We'll do yogurt parfaits. Like, I can make those beforehand, right? Like, I can just do things. Or I could like a yellow yogurt bar. And then they put in the yogurt and the fruit and the granola and whatever.

[A]

Got it, got it, got it. Okay.

[B]

At the ready. That helps me a ton. I feel like if they misplace their shoes, that's a problem for them because they're getting in the car. If they don't have their shoes, they're going to be really bummed. I feel a little hard. This made me feel a little hardcore because I also felt like battling them to get dressed. If you don't want to wear it, then what do you. What are you gonna wear? Like, you're the one that's gonna look like you're gonna look at when you get to school. And if you don't eat breakfast, you're gonna be hungry later.

[A]

I don't think it's bad for me. For me, it's not battling to get dressed because, I mean, the, like, Hayden has to wear a school uniform. There's no, like, hey, I wanna wear the cool K pop demon hunters T shirt. Right? Like, I'm not having to do that battle. But what my kids do is they suddenly every morning, remember an art project that they haven't finished from, like, two years ago, and they're like, oh, my God, I have to glue the eyeballs on this pom pom spider immediately. And so the battle becomes like, I don't know why this is the moment that you are thinking of doing this. And so I was like, you don't understand how much a spider means to me.

[B]

I'm like, really great.

[A]

It will mean something to you when you're home from school.

[B]

He'll mean even more. It'll mean even more.

[A]

I think the great lock in could. I think that if I woke up a little bit earlier, it would help me.

[B]

Well, waking up early always helps you.

[A]

Like, earlier than the kids. Like, I, I wake up, like, 10 minutes before the kids. I think if I did, like, a full, like, 40 minutes before them, I would feel a little more like, in the zone. Maybe that's my lock in.

[B]

That might be your lock in. I've done it before and it is very. It is very helpful. Very, very, very helpful.

[A]

I found this question really interesting. How does social media influence what you think think your goals should be Yeah.

[B]

I mean, it depends.

[A]

I think social media is so much.

[B]

About the wellness, says your algorithm.

[A]

Well, maybe it is. Like it. It leans. My algorithm leans into, like, these are the supplements you should be taking. This is the. And then I get really lost in all those things. I've talked about this before, but that's where I think that it influences what I would do, even though it might not be right. Like, oh, I need to make this particular smoothie every day and get this many.

[B]

The grams of protein and.

[A]

Yeah, but what does your algorithm sort of feed you for a walk in.

[B]

I get a lot of really cute dog content because we've been talking about golden retrievers, Josie and I, so I get a lot of talking dogs and golden retrievers, so they're definitely not going to help me lock into any new behavior that's going to help me. But then I also do. I mean, clearly the universe thinks I need help because I get a little self help. It counts a lot, too.

[A]

I mean, I think that's everybody.

[B]

Yeah, it probably is. But I do feel like it can really, like, you're like, one good quote away from, like a rally cry, like a Braveheart, like, running across the. The greenery, the land. On that note, like, on the social, emotional, you know, my goals. I'm actually proud of myself. I have gotten better at. When someone comes to me with an issue or a problem, I've been. I've gotten a lot better at listening and not trying to fix it right away.

[A]

Wow, you're a fixer.

[B]

I'm a fixer.

[A]

That's hard for you.

[B]

I'm sure this is challenging for me.

[A]

What makes you. Is it as a parent, too? Because that's really challenging.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Oh, man, that's hard. I. I read somewhere, like, when someone's telling you a problem, you kind of, like, you have to ask them, like, do you want me to be the listener?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or do you want me to help you? And it's like, then you are given your marching orders, as you would say.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you would understand how. What they need.

[B]

Yeah. Because it's very important. I think it's in every department, truly, because it's. So what's your relationship? How well do you know each other? What. What does someone need from you in that moment? But for kids, I think, or adolescents, I think that, you know, when they're little, of course we fix it for them. Like, that's our actual job. It's in our job description. We fix it, we solve it. We do the work around we figure it out. But then when they get older, it's actually imperative that they know how to fix their own problems and that they can get themselves out of a jam. And if you're doing it for them, then you're actually taking, you're robbing them of the opportunity to learn and grow and just. Because you know what the answer is, by the way, also, they're not gonna always listen to you because guess what? Turns out the kids don't always listen to their parents when they get to be teenagers. As a matter of fact, many books, novels and songs are about how they're not gonna listen to us. Right. So I think that I've been, I, I, I hope I've been. There have been reports, I've gotten some actual reporting that I'm getting a little better at just like, and also like sitting with the sad. Sometimes people just want to be sad. They don't want you to cheer them up. Right. Like, sometimes people just want to have a problem and scream at the sky. And that's okay. It's actually valuable.

[A]

I think that's interesting that I see these could be lock in things where you like, get better at things like this, where you're like, you know what, from now until September, I'm going to be really, really locked in on not always trying to solve stuff, being a good listener and kind of reading the room when I need to step in and help.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I think there's, I think this is kind of cool because immediately my mind always went to like, like, okay, the protein smoothie and the 5am workout and then the steps and then, you know, But I don't, I think it can be whatever benefits your life. I know you, and I was gonna say those around you, but I don't really think it's about those around you. I think it's about you. Right.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I think also, you know, we, whenever you start something new, you, you have like a, a blank slate. And so I think you, you're, you're, you have a new opportunity to create new pathways and patterns and relationships. And I, when it's me, I, I try to show up in my very best self and take what I've learned before and bring it into the present and the future. And so I think it's just a lot of, it's been a lot of listening and, and learning people's operating instructions because, man, you know, everybody's different. Just so, so, so different. And perspective and interpretation is just, you know, can be very, very different.

[A]

It's funny because one of the questions we got too is, does back to school energy give you momentum or completely drain you? And my theory, I've been sitting here.

[B]

Wondering, they give you momentum or drain you?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And I've been sitting here wondering, why September? Like, what is it about September? And September is when all our kids are back in school. If you're a mama. Right. For sure. And so I feel like then you, you're kind of, your time is freed up in a way that it wasn't in the summer. Right. And so I wonder if to me, I think it does kind of give you momentum. And so I wonder if that's why, like, the lock in is in September. I'm just trying to.

[B]

I'm just analyzing. Yeah, well, you're, you're setting up new systems, right? So you're. So you do have. I was thinking, I do get energized by newness. So I do feel like there's momentum. Then every once in a while it's just like, it's, there's, there's, there's a tipping point. There's just like one email too many and then it's just a kick in the teeth and then I'm drained.

[A]

Yeah, the password, the school password comes and then it's like, yeah, the momentum's gone.

[B]

Momentum. Maybe I need to lock in on.

[A]

The school passwords and know them all.

[B]

Yeah. And yeah, don't even get me and my, my, my phone are having a fight because, you know, the whole save and fill your password thing.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Well, I mean, if you're gonna offer it, then can you get it right?

[A]

100. By the way, I love it when they offer to up a password.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then it's wrong.

[A]

Those are hieroglyphs.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. What is.

[A]

What password? I don't even know. I will never remember that. So you will always have to remember that.

[B]

Foreign.

[A]

Okay, this is not a drill. The wait is officially over. The next up live music finals are here. And I am so into this. Mark your calendars for September 26th because TikTok Live and iHeartRadio are bringing us the biggest night in live music. Streaming straight from the iconic iHeartRadio theater in LA. 12 artists you've probably already been low key, obsessed with are stepping up for the performance of their lives. We're talking finals career defining, no going back kind of moment. And check out this judging panel. Tom Pullman, I Heart Media's chief programming officer. Biata Murphy, program director of 102.7 Kiss FM. Justina Valentine from MTV's Wild and Out and viral guitarist John Bretto. Legit music royalty JoJo on the radio and EJ from 102.7 Kiss FM are hosting. So it's gonna be so fun, funny and full of surprises. And you get to vote too, for the People's Choice Award. I love that. Don't miss a second. Watch it all unfold live on TikTok on September 26th from 7 to 9pm Pacific Time, only on the official TikTok handle at TikTok Live. Underscore us again that's TikTok Live. Underscore us Together, let's witness the birth of the next music superstar.

[B]

Hey, can we talk about Plan B for a second? What exactly is it?

[A]

Okay, Plan B is emergency contraception you take after unprotected sex. Think of it as backup birth control. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation to help prevent pregnancy before it starts.

[B]

And it's available right off the shelf.

[A]

Yep, it's at all major retailers in all 50 US states. No prescription ID or age requirement.

[B]

Ah, together we've got this.

[A]

Follow Plan B on Insta at Plan B One step Use as directed Stop.

[C]

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[A]

Can we talk about another term that we're seeing a lot and I don't, I really don't quite understand.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Which is radical acceptance.

[B]

I love talking about this. Do you? Can you?

[A]

I, I, I'm, I'm like, I, I, I read what it sort of means and I think I'm not grasping it. So I'll let you take the floor on it. So then, then we can talk about it.

[B]

Okay. Well, it's, I've shortened it to just ra. There'll be situations where I'm like, I'm in a moment and it's like, oh, all right. We're just, we're radically accepting this if we're backing into it. The most compelling part of radical acceptance as an idea or an insight is that it transforms unavoidable pain because pain is inevitable in life, right? There's, if you're going to live, you're going to be in pain, emotional pain, physical pain, whatever. And it transforms the unavoidable pain into bearable and sometimes even meaningful. If you can figure out why the pain is there as an experience and then it takes away the suffering piece because you're not resisting the pain. You're not going, oh, this is going to be so painful. It's going to be so painful. You're like, yeah, this is gonna be so painful. I have a, whatever, you know, fill in the blank. And obviously the spectrum is wide. But like, I have to wake up, you know, I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow, I have to wake up at 4am tomorrow to, to go to work and it's gonna be so painful. My whole night is going to be different and I'm gonna have to go to bed early and blah, blah. And you could go down a route of all the things that you're gonna miss by this 4am wake up and how hard it's gonna be. And you're envisioning how hard it's going to be to get in the shower and then the car and it'll be dark and, or you can accept that you're waking up at 4am tomorrow and you don't need to suffer through it because it's happening no matter what that wake up is happening. So you can go into it knowing that it's going to happen and you don't have to not be tired or whatever, not change your night, but you're just, it's, it's, it's it's in the name. It's accepting it. If it's your choice to be someone who wakes up for work at 4am Instead of fighting it or resisting it or saying, oh, my gosh, this, this is too hard, or so hard you go, yeah, it's happening. I'm doing it. And how. How am I going to show up for it?

[A]

Okay, I have a question. I understand that. How does this work in terms of, like, your relationship with other people?

[B]

Oh, gosh. Is it going to be me and you? Am I Mel Robbins again? Is it? Or is this a Mel Robbins interview all over again?

[A]

No, no, no, it's not. No, no. I just, I, I know. I'm really honestly trying to, like, understand what it means in terms of that. Because I understand that. Okay, get that perfect. I understand that. So then, well, how do, how does it translate when you. With other people?

[B]

Give me an example.

[A]

Like, okay, so someone hurts your feelings.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, Is. Is it a little let them. Is it kind of.

[B]

Yes, Robbins. I was like, because it's not. And we got focused on this when we were interviewing her because. And along with the rest of the world. Is that. Because Let them became the, the, the top note. The let me. After it got sort of.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Was playing in the shadows and radical acceptance. You there. It's very much in partnership. If you're, if you're, if you're making the analogy to Let them, It's. It's the, it's the let them and then let me. So if someone hurts your feelings and they're horrible, you don't have to say, oh, they didn't mean it. You don't have to resist it. You don't have to say, oh, they're. It's okay. You don't have to make excuses for them. Anything. They can have done something really hurtful, and you can name that and be like, that person really hurt my feelings. And then you get to decide what you're going to do about it. Like, are you going to continue to let them hurt your feelings? Are you going to continue to. Are you going to say anything? Are you not going to say anything? But radical acceptance is, they hurt your feelings. Now what are you going to do about it? You're not denying it. So, so like, so there's, like, there's different key.

[A]

You're sort of moving past like almost a festering on the thing and just accepting like, okay, that absolutely sucks. That's. And now. And now what? Yes, I did love this part of it. I thought I read this part of it. And I just thought this was amazing. Which was compassion for self and others. Radical acceptance extends to ourselves acknowledging our own flaws, mistakes and limits without endless self punishment. And it also fosters empathy as we stop demanding that people, including ourselves. I really like that because I feel like people spend so much energy trying to change somebody else.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's wasted energy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And if you want that person in your life, there's, it's one thing. If you want to create a boundary and you're like, okay, I'm done with this. If you want to keep that person in your life and you love that person, you might be leaning, need to lean on radical acceptance to have that relationship with them.

[B]

Yes. And accept that they are who they are and you can be who you are. And exactly like you said, you can have boundaries. But I also think that it's this also piece which is like there's the pain versus suffering. Like the pain is inevitable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But suffering, the replaying of the pain, the resisting the fact that it's true. You know, I mean, think about the stages of grief. Right? Like denial, the anger about it or wishing it was different. That is, that is the optional fall apart. Do you know what I mean? Like, you don't have to do that. That actually, in my opinion, for me, makes the pain last longer. It stays with me if I engage in any of that, if I resist it, if I replay it, or if I wish it was different. It stays with me so much longer than facing it. And I can be very avoidant it if I face it. I, I just, I'm able to move forward and be like, this is what it is. This is. It is in the name. Call it what it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. And, and I don't think that your reality can change until you accept it.

[A]

Yeah. I do think suffering is, can be so sticky. You can literally. It's like quicksand. Like it can just swallow you and it's really hard to get out. And I guess what I'm gathering is that radical acceptance frees you of that because you're empowered.

[B]

You're empowered to respond to the real. You're empowered to respond to what is. And, and, and, and, and you stop the shenanigans that happen in our brain that make us, you know, avoid.

[A]

Okay. I really like this. I'm like, I'm just processing as you're talking about it. I really.

[B]

Because also it sits really, really close to something that I think everyone struggles with on some level, which is you can't control it all. You Just.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You cannot. So this idea that you can. I'm sure it has. You know, there's brain science that supports why we do it, but we can't. And there's real wisdom in letting it go.

[A]

I wish I'd known this in my 20s when, like, you know, I went through, like, a terrible breakup or something. And I just known that, like, there was so much sitting in it and in the suffering and the replaying the memories and the whys and that. And if I. The. The sooner I would have come to radical acceptance, the better off I would have been because those. That time was kind of wasted. Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And I think you can mourn at the same time as radical acceptance, but a lot of us do the suffering without any acceptance. I was suffering and also asking why and wondering when this relationship couldn't come back.

[B]

That was what was making you suffer?

[A]

Yes, yes. Yes.

[B]

That was sent. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, again, the spectrum is wide, and it can be something super trivial, and then it can be something super deep. But I. I'm telling you, it really, really helps me. And I. And it's funny, I'm not trying to say that I have, like, you know, superpowers here, but watch, if you are practicing it, how much, and you're. And honestly, it takes a little bit of discipline. So maybe it's definitely a lock in it.

[A]

Maybe it's a lock in. Maybe radical acceptance is a lock in.

[B]

You have to be disciplined because you have to notice that you're doing it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And then you have to stop. Stop it. And I've noticed that. You know, I mean, I don't know. It's like the difference between. And everyone's got different stakes as they're on their drive to work in the morning. Right. But when you hit traffic, that's unexpected. Radical acceptance is you're in traffic, you're not gonna all of a sudden sprout wings off the side of your car and get up and try and get past it. Right.

[A]

So I gotta say, like, your. Because, you know, lay traffic, Jess, and I do that every day. Radical acceptance of traffic might be the hardest one.

[B]

Might be the hardest one. But now we have phones and we have ways of telling people we're gonna be late. And, like, what are we gonna do again? We're not gonna sprout wings at the. The side, and we're not going to fly. And what I've noticed, and this was my point, is that when you look around, the people who don't accept that they're stuck in that car, in that lane and that it's going to free up when it frees up. Are losing their.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And suffering for no reason because the losing their isn't going to change the circumstance of the traffic.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. It's actually a really good metaphor because I think that you can sit here and be like, oh, yeah, the traffic is. Could be so many things. And you're right. You're stuck in it anyway.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And how are you going to spend that time?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And by the way, you're going to start to see how people deal with it. And I, I have noticed that I want to be with people who don't lose their. When we hit the traffic. They're much, they're much more enjoyable to be around. Of course, in all, in all areas of your life, truly. Like whether you're dealing with, you know, your kids, school, your work, your family, your whatever. It's. It's just, it's. It's. It's really interesting. So, yeah, I'm RA for the win.

[A]

No, I think, I think now I'm understanding. I wasn't really getting it and now I'm understanding it and I'm. I. I fully think that this is really. Oh, I love it. I just love it. I can fully embrace this.

[B]

Great. I love it. I love it.

[A]

Well, okay, we've covered lock ins. We have covered radically.

[B]

Ideas for lock ins for me.

[A]

I know, I know. I was thinking, oh, my God, I probably need to lock it on so much.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

All right. Well, you want to call it.

[B]

Yeah, let's call it the end of the episode.

[A]

Foreign.

[B]

Hey, can we talk about plan B for a second? What exactly is it?

[A]

Okay. Plan B is emergency contraception you take after unprotected sex. Think of it as backup birth control. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation to help prevent pregnancy before it starts.

[B]

And it's available right off the shelf.

[A]

Yep. It's at all major retailers in all 50 US states. No prescription ID or age requirement.

[B]

Ah. Together we've got this.

[A]

Follow plan B on insta at Plan B. One step. Use as directed.

[C]

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[D]

Life'S messy. We're talking spills, stains, pets and kids. But with Annabe, you never have to stress about messes again. At WashablesOfAs.com, discover Annabe sofas, the only fully machine washable sofas inside and out, starting at just $699. Made with liquid and stain resistant fabrics, that means fewer stains and more peace of mind. Designed for real life, our sofas feature changeable fabric covers allowing you to remove refresh your style anytime. Need flexibility? Our modular design lets you rearrange your sofa effortlessly. Perfect for cozy apartments or spacious homes. Plus, they're earth friendly and built to last. That's why over 200,000 happy customers have made the switch. Upgrade your space today. Visit washablesofas.com now and bring home a sofa made for life. That's washablesofas.com offer are subject to change and certain restrictions may apply.

[B]

For years, everyone thought Verizon had the best network because they did. But now the best mobile network in the US is T Mobile. T Mobile's network has the most advanced 5G with more towers, and their signal reaches further than ever. So you can text and insta talk and say, you won't believe where I am. T Mobile is the best mobile network in the US based on analysis by Ookla of speed test intelligence data 1H2025C.T mobile.com network this is an iHeart podcast.