Podcast Summary: Call It Mom Guilt Episode: Call It Mom Guilt | Release Date: May 19, 2025 Host/Guests: Jessica Capshaw & Camilla Luddington | iHeartPodcasts

Introduction

In the episode titled "Call It Mom Guilt," hosts Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington delve deep into the intricate emotions and challenges surrounding motherhood, particularly focusing on the pervasive feeling of "mom guilt." Drawing from personal experiences and listener contributions, the duo offers heartfelt insights and practical strategies to navigate the complexities of balancing career ambitions with the responsibilities of being a parent.

Jessica's Recent Experiences: Upfronts and New Beginnings [02:22 - 07:03]

Jessica begins by sharing her recent experience attending the Upfronts, a high-stakes event where networks and platforms unveil their fall lineups to advertisers and stakeholders. Describing the event as "swanky" and "well produced," Jessica recounts the pressure and excitement of securing a prime time slot for her new show. She humorously contrasts her glamorous appearance during the event with Camilla’s more relaxed style, stating, “I looked stunning… and I look like a naked mole rat,” [03:14] highlighting the contrasts in their personal and professional lives.

A memorable moment occurs when Jessica unexpectedly reunites with fellow cast members George and Chandra Wilson from Grey’s Anatomy, providing a sense of camaraderie and support in a high-pressure environment. “I sat with Chandra and Jim for a good amount of time,” [06:43] Jessica shares, emphasizing the importance of having familiar faces amidst new challenges.

Defining the "Working Mom" [09:07 - 10:22]

The conversation transitions to the concept of being a "working mom." Jessica challenges the traditional notion by asserting, “Working is inherent to the title of being a mom,” [09:10] broadening the definition to include both those who work outside the home and those who manage the household. She reflects on her evolution from viewing a working mom as someone employed elsewhere to recognizing that nurturing a home is itself a form of work.

Camilla adds, “It's a dirty little secret, when you work outside the house, sometimes it's actually like a break from your own life,” [10:06], highlighting the duality of managing professional responsibilities while maintaining a fulfilling home life.

Balancing Work and Motherhood: Strategies and Challenges [11:25 - 13:45]

Jessica discusses her approach to maintaining stability for her children while juggling her career. She emphasizes the importance of consistency and flexibility, ensuring her kids' schedules remain as constant as possible despite her fluctuating work hours. “The best thing was for the kids to have their schedule… stays constant and the same,” [11:48] she explains.

Camilla echoes the sentiment, stressing the necessity of community support and shared responsibilities. They both highlight how having a support system can alleviate the pressures of parenting while pursuing career goals.

Managing Mom Guilt: Practical Strategies [32:42 - 36:56]

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to addressing mom guilt. Jessica and Camilla discuss strategies to mitigate these feelings:

1. Stop "Shoulding" Yourself:

   • “Stop shoulding on yourself. We have to accept we are doing the best we can,” [32:42] advises Camilla.
   • Jessica reinforces this by highlighting the unnecessary pressure mothers place on themselves.

2. Focus on Positives and Wins:

   • “Focus on your wins,” [33:38] encourages listeners to celebrate small victories.
   • Camilla adds humorously, “Are you kidding? Mommy deserves a medal,” [33:45], underlining the importance of recognizing everyday achievements.

3. Community and Empathy:

   • “Talk to other empathetic moms,” [33:38] suggests Jessica.
   • Both hosts emphasize the value of connecting with a supportive community to share experiences and offer mutual support.

4. Putting Things in Perspective:

   • “Put it all in perspective,” [33:54] encourages listeners to take a bird's eye view of their challenges, reducing the immediate emotional burden.

Jessica further explores the societal pressures placed on working mothers, stating, “They’re expected to prioritize motherhood above all else, yet are also pressured to excel in their careers,” [34:27]. She calls for compromise over the elusive concept of balance, acknowledging that it's impossible to excel in all areas simultaneously.

Listener Contributions: Real Stories and Support [40:42 - 50:31]

The hosts engage with listener stories, offering empathy and advice:

• Maria shares her decision to reclaim her career, to which Camilla responds, “Go do it,” [40:56], encouraging her courage.
• Leah, a nurse working night shifts, expresses feelings of guilt over missing out on daytime activities with her kids. Jessica offers heartfelt support, “Leah, you are a hero,” [41:10], validating her efforts and dedication.
• Blake discusses disconnecting from work during personal time, and Camilla applauds his boundaries, noting, “Good for you. Smart, too,” [42:11].
• Kelsey and Jennifer highlight the importance of boundaries and building a supportive village, addressing the challenges of modern parenting in 2025.

Personal Anecdotes and Setting Boundaries [43:14 - 50:31]

Jessica and Camilla share personal stories about parenting challenges, such as dealing with teenage responses and setting emotional boundaries. Jessica recounts a poignant moment with her child, who reassures her about pursuing her passion, saying, “Mom, you haven't done what you love doing the most for more than a minute,” [28:25], providing her with the emotional support needed to embrace her new role.

Camilla discusses strategies for managing confrontational moments with children, emphasizing the importance of walking away to regain composure and apologizing if necessary. This approach fosters a healthier parent-child relationship and models emotional regulation for their kids.

Conclusion: Replacing Guilt with Grace [50:06 - End]

In wrapping up, Jessica and Camilla emphasize the need to replace guilt with self-compassion and mutual support. They advocate for building strong communities and supportive networks to alleviate the pressures of motherhood. Jessica muses on finding a better term than "mom guilt," suggesting that constantly feeling guilty is detrimental to their well-being.

Camilla concludes with a humorous yet heartfelt note, “If I'm not screaming, then I'm not paying attention,” [45:05], encapsulating the chaotic yet loving reality of parenting.

Key Quotes

• Jessica Capshaw [09:10]: "Working is inherent to the title of being a mom."
• Camille Luddington [10:06]: "It's a dirty little secret, when you work outside the house, sometimes it's actually like a break from your own life."
• Camille Luddington [32:42]: "Stop shoulding on yourself. We have to accept we are doing the best we can."
• Jessica Capshaw [34:27]: "They’re expected to prioritize motherhood above all else, yet are also pressured to excel in their careers."
• Jessica Capshaw [28:25]: "Leah, you are a hero."
• Camille Luddington [45:05]: "If I'm not screaming, then I'm not paying attention."

Final Thoughts

"Call It Mom Guilt" is a compelling episode that authentically addresses the multifaceted emotions of motherhood. Through vulnerability and shared experiences, Jessica and Camilla offer a supportive space for listeners to reflect, find solace, and reclaim their sense of self beyond societal expectations. The episode serves as a compassionate reminder that while the journey of motherhood is fraught with challenges, it is also filled with moments of joy, resilience, and unwavering love.