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Jessica Capshaw
You don't just live in your home.
Camille Luddington
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Jessica Capshaw
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Camille Luddington
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Jessica Capshaw
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Camille Luddington
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Jessica Capshaw
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Camille Luddington
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Jessica Capshaw
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Camille Luddington
Is coming to Apple TV.
Unknown
What you all did five months ago was one of the most painful moments.
Jessica Capshaw
In the history of this company. Our message got out. We're famous.
Camille Luddington
All of us equally or one of.
Unknown
Us is like the star.
Jessica Capshaw
What did you see?
Camille Luddington
My audi's wife was Ms. Casey.
Unknown
If you want to find out what.
Camille Luddington
Happened to her, I'll help.
Unknown
She's still alive. I want to see my wife.
Camille Luddington
He should have left Severance new season streaming January 17th only on Apple TV.
Unknown
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Jessica Capshaw
Call it what it is.
Unknown
With Jessica Capshaw and Camille Luddington, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Jessica Capshaw
Hello, hello, hello, hello, everyone, and welcome to a new episode of Short and Sweet.
Unknown
Keeping it short and sweet.
Jessica Capshaw
We're keeping it short and sweet.
Unknown
You know what? You don't have time for anything else right now during this crazy season.
Jessica Capshaw
Not during the holidays.
Unknown
I have to do lists that have to do lists. Actually, my life right now.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Yeah, it is. Yeah, we're gonna dive right in. But we decided to make today holiday themed. We're gonna have a lot of holiday.
Unknown
We're sticking with it.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, we are.
Unknown
But we threw out a question to the crew.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, we did.
Unknown
What are the weirdest or oddest gifts that you've received for this season? Yeah, we got some wham, bam, thank you.
Jessica Capshaw
I mean, always. We know that if we ask the crew, they're gonna come through for us.
Unknown
I know.
Jessica Capshaw
Can I just say before we start that I listened to our past episode and you know how we talked about, like, how, like, I sound drunk sometimes? Well, I said this. I literally, I think in the last episode sound like I'm like four margaritas.
Unknown
In the one where we were in person.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, I was a little sloppy doppy.
Unknown
You were drunk on my presence. You were just drunk.
Jessica Capshaw
So I just. I think that I'm gonna have to. I just. I think I'm gonna really speak very eloquently.
Unknown
Why don't you just do one in your English accent?
Jessica Capshaw
Oh, maybe I will.
Unknown
Maybe you should.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, that's a great idea. Okay, enough of my drunkenness. Have you received an odd gift, an.
Unknown
Awkward gift or something terrible?
Jessica Capshaw
No, I'm asking you.
Unknown
Oh, me, me. Oh, you're asking.
Jessica Capshaw
I'm asking you personally before we dive into theirs.
Unknown
Yeah. Haven't we all had our fair share of gifts that we might not have purchased for ourselves? But I've said this before because we did this during the birthday episode. I mean, I'm tough because, you know, when I was younger, God, I've grown. I've grown. I used to think that when someone got me a gift that was super not me, it was like some sort of, you know, indication that they didn't really know me.
Jessica Capshaw
That is so Jessica Capshaw.
Unknown
I know.
Jessica Capshaw
This is so amazing.
Unknown
Not now. Now I'm like, come one, come all. Lately, I gotta tell you, I'm just in a very, Jesus, take the wheel time of my life. And it's, it's, it's right around his birthday right now. So, you know, maybe he's just Take all the wheels. He's taking all the wheels. Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
I had an ex boyfriend person I was dating give me the most hideous piece of jewelry ever. I mean, it looked like it was, you know, probably a relic and perhaps possessed.
Unknown
Yeah. Game of Thronesy.
Jessica Capshaw
It was more like, what was the style? Something. Even your grandma's like, ew. Do you know what I mean? Like, she, she's selling it because she's like, big. Yes. Chunky. Yeah, yeah, like a Chunky with like a.
Unknown
He's like, babe, I got it at an estate sale.
Jessica Capshaw
I mean, I wish he had because maybe it would have been cheap, but I think he spent a little money on it. I mean, maybe not. It's what I don't like. And I will say this. I'm not like a super into the stones that are just not super precious. I know that sounds snobby and I'm going to embrace it. I saw everyone. I know what it sounds into stones.
Unknown
That aren't super precious.
Jessica Capshaw
I'm gonna be. I'm calling it what it is. This is one of my Achilles heels.
Unknown
What I. Why are you seeing it as a weakness? It's a strong point of view.
Jessica Capshaw
If I get a ring and it has like a giant, like weird, marbly, opal, grainy situation chunking in the middle of it. That's not seeing the light of day. That's at the back of the drawer.
Unknown
Here's the real problem with these awkward, weird, or terrible gifts.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah.
Unknown
What do you do with them? Where do they go?
Jessica Capshaw
They're at the back of the drawer.
Unknown
But ultimately, I, I, that's not satisfying. Like, they actually, they really gotta go if you really don't like them.
Jessica Capshaw
No, they do have to go. But you can't, you can't hawk them while you're in the relationship.
Unknown
That's my point. What? Where do they go?
Jessica Capshaw
You gotta break up.
Unknown
Do you sell them? Do you donate Them?
Jessica Capshaw
No, because that's insulting to the person.
Unknown
Gift them, Grandma.
Jessica Capshaw
I mean, here's, here's the thing. I'm gonna say it really quick to.
Unknown
Make you feel less bad about it.
Jessica Capshaw
It's okay to not like it, right? You're like the hard part for me, the painful part, and this is really selfish and very vain. But then I have to wear it that day because they got it. And so you're wet. You're, like, in your cute outfit.
Unknown
You're like, please don't judge me. Don't think I would have chosen this for myself.
Jessica Capshaw
And then it's ruined by the Godzilla of chunk.
Unknown
Yeah, junk, Chunk, Junk, junk. Chunky junk.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. I don't need it to look like it could turn into a transformer. Do you know what I mean? Like, that's what I've. I've had that situation. I digress.
Unknown
I definitely think I had a moment. I had a moment where I think I said, if there's going to be jewelry because it costs money, can I get a pre approval? Can there be a pre approval process?
Jessica Capshaw
Does Kristoffer have to email it to you?
Unknown
I think I pick it and he. I email it to him.
Jessica Capshaw
Oh, oh. So he's not picking it at all.
Unknown
I think we're past that.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, yeah. Well, you know what? He knows best.
Unknown
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
He knows because it's not going to work if, if you need. You need that.
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. There was a really funny. It was really. It made me laugh so hard. And you can't really laugh. Maybe you could. Maybe you could laugh if you're on both sides of this. But it was a Saturday Night Live skit with Kristen Wiig, and the punchline was like. It was a very sing songy skit thing about Christmas morning. And it was like, you know, I saw the siblings. Yeah, all the siblings were like. And everything rhymed. But it was like, you know, I got a. I got some AirPods and I got a new phone, and I got this and I got that. And then the mom pops up and she's like, and I got a robe.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah.
Unknown
And yeah, it really is true. Like, we, we. We sort of relegate certain people in our life to robe status. And I think it's because we just don't know what to get. Or maybe because what she gives us is just so big that if we tried to match it with a gift of our own choosing, it just would fall flat. So we go with robe and a big hug.
Jessica Capshaw
I do. But I have to say, I love a Robe.
Unknown
Yeah. But you don't need more than one. Two, Maybe two.
Jessica Capshaw
You need two. Yeah.
Unknown
You need one that can get wet, like, right after the shower.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah.
Unknown
And then you need one that's, like, cozy. Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Cozy. Yeah. Okay.
Unknown
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
All right, let's dive into the crew because we have some responses.
Unknown
They got stuff to say.
Jessica Capshaw
All right.
Unknown
All right. Let's start with Alex. Alex says, I just want to say, I hate when people who are supposed to know me get me something that isn't me at all. Thank you, Alex.
Jessica Capshaw
Ah. Just feels you.
Unknown
You're correct.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Although I have to say, like, I feel like maybe they're opening you up to new possibilities of things you could, like, not now, not. Not with that look.
Unknown
You never hear me. Silent. And I just was.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, we know what that means. Go ahead.
Unknown
Next one.
Jessica Capshaw
Goodwin wrote, the worst gift I've ever received is an oven mint. The of glove from qvc from my husband on Valentine's Day. He's now my ex.
Unknown
That can get me an oven mitt on Valentine's Day. The double whammy. It's a bad gift on the wrong holiday.
Jessica Capshaw
I don't know the holiday that. That would be good for.
Unknown
Oven day. That's literally it.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Google oven day, especially. And I feel like if you're gonna do, like, a really. If you're gonna. If you're like this for some reason, this is the gift. Right. Find William Sonoma or. You know what I mean? Like, you don't need the Of Glove from qvc.
Unknown
Oh, I think I. I don't even need to get it. Marlo got three bottles of ranch dressing once.
Jessica Capshaw
I do love ranch.
Unknown
Love ranch. I love Ranch on my French fries. I love Ranch on pizza. I love. I love it all. I think, Marlo, I don't even know that we can call that anything, because I think you need. I need more context. Like, that could have been, like, a funny joke.
Jessica Capshaw
White elephant. Is that what it's called? What's that?
Unknown
White elephant. Or she may just. She. Or he may love French dressing. In which case that's maybe a gift.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah.
Unknown
Like a good gift.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, we think that's a great gift. Yeah. Yeah.
Unknown
What's wrong?
Jessica Capshaw
We don't know what's wrong. Marlo.
Camille Luddington
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Cheap Caribbean is celebrating more than just the new year in 2025. Cheap Caribbean Vacations is celebrating its 25th birthday too. You're invited to join in on the birthday fund and book a beach vacay with more savings.
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Now through February 3rd, you can unlock up to $250 off site wide vacation packages. Celebrate these awesome savings at your favorite beach and book your next all incl. Vacay@cheapcaribbean.com your $250 off is waiting did you know that future health can help make weight loss resolutions come true? When it's about biology and not willpower, it's not your fault that the dieting just doesn't work. Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just three minutes and for less than $3 a day. Eight out of 10 users say that using the Future Health program is more effective than anything they have ever tried.
Jessica Capshaw
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Jessica Capshaw
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Camille Luddington
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Jessica Capshaw
J said. I received a dildo and a book about sexual positions from my grandma. Grandma? Why not?
Unknown
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
She knows. She's like, you know what? You know what I think Grandma's thinking? She's like. She's a little stressed out.
Unknown
Yeah. And also she's thinking every generation needs to evolve. Fran says I got pimple patches for my birthday.
Jessica Capshaw
We've talked about this. I love those stars.
Unknown
I know. And they're not cheap. You know, you and I went to CVS the other day together and I was in that aisle and I was like, I'm. Because I'm a little curious about the ones that are different colored.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah.
Unknown
But then. Anyways, so I saw the prices on those and they're not cheap, so maybe that I don't know.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah.
Unknown
Did you ask for them?
Jessica Capshaw
It's more of a stocking stopper.
Unknown
I agree with that.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Yeah.
Unknown
Oh, there are so many cute. Have you heard about this thing called the burr baskets?
Jessica Capshaw
No.
Unknown
You are for when you get cold in the winter and it's like these gift baskets.
Jessica Capshaw
No, but that's a really cute idea. Is that just New York or everywhere?
Unknown
I think it's everywhere. Everywhere that you have a phone or social platforms.
Jessica Capshaw
Well, Burr should have been paying you for that plug right there. Yeah.
Unknown
Yeah. Huh. I don't know. The burr. I think it's a concept, not a brand. But what goes into the burr basket is like super cozy warm socks and like. Like little lip balms. Like a sidebar.
Jessica Capshaw
We're launching this if it's not a thing. Next. Caroline. I was 10 years old and my grandma accidentally got me an after dark version of a board game. This happens.
Unknown
I don't know what that is. Wait, first you tell me what that is.
Jessica Capshaw
It's like the raunchy version of whatever it is.
Unknown
Grandmas are getting down. Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
The grandmas. The grandma's our problem.
Unknown
Okay. Tara says she was gifted. Upside down pineapple earrings and a necklace. Usually a sign for swingers. I didn't know that. There goes all my pineapple jewelry for April Fools.
Jessica Capshaw
You should just gift it to a bunch of the moms at your school. Not. Wink, wink. Ella said my mom gave me a meat thermometer. I'm vegetarian.
Unknown
I don't know. I don't know why people forget these things. Yeah, it seems very on purpose though, to get as a gift.
Jessica Capshaw
Or maybe there are stupid. I don't know why we're excusing this. We have so many to get through. This is a shitty gift.
Unknown
Yeah, it could be a shitty gift.
Jessica Capshaw
Okay.
Unknown
Ashley says I got a blanket made of ties that belong to my grandpa's new wife's dead first husband.
Jessica Capshaw
What?
Camille Luddington
No.
Jessica Capshaw
That's so creepy. No.
Unknown
Wow.
Jessica Capshaw
A blanket too. Like you're wrapped up in it. Wow. It's amazing.
Unknown
Yeah. No. Okay. I mean, I could come up with a rationalization.
Jessica Capshaw
Oh, well, let's hear it. I do want to hear that one.
Unknown
Well, there are a lot of. In the crafting community. Notice how I also always act like I know everything.
Jessica Capshaw
No, you do. They may. In fact, we've read your comments and you're like. You feel like Jess is like the big sister to me. I don't know anything.
Unknown
I know these things. A lot of blankets or if you like to like hook rugs or that kind of thing, you take old materials and you shred them and you repurpose them. So I actually. We have a blanket in our. In our life that is one of. Anyways, there's someone lovely and very important to us. His old shirts.
Jessica Capshaw
I love that.
Unknown
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
Except I think that this person appreciates it.
Unknown
Yeah, no, this person.
Jessica Capshaw
I don't even know this person. Okay. Whitney, three weeks after giving birth, I was given mom jean shorts. I guess jorts that. I didn't ask for that. You see, you said that and I'm like. I like a jord. No, no, a jord is a little bit. It's. It's a little. It's a high waisted. It's a little looser on the bottom.
Unknown
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
Jess, I feel like I've seen you in a drawer. Like a linen short.
Unknown
I object.
Jessica Capshaw
I don't know. I feel like I've seen you rocking a Jordan.
Unknown
Never see me in a pair of jords. Are you kidding? I think you can't make shorts short enough for me. But I like a pair of shorts that a bikini wax is necessary for. I like a short. Short.
Jessica Capshaw
Listen, I mean, there's nothing. No, no. I know you love a shorty.
Unknown
You're like micro minis.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. I love that about you. But I do think that there's been a jort shape.
Unknown
Oh, my gosh. This next one. Jenny, I feel you. My grandma gifted me a painting of something she thought looked like me. It was a painting of a weird rat.
Jessica Capshaw
Oh, it's just good. Emily Sundays, at age 13, my grandmother gifted me lingerie to impress boys. I might meet horny grandmas. The grandmas are an issue.
Unknown
Yeah. And Also, you're right, 13. Please say more.
Jessica Capshaw
Wow.
Unknown
I wasn't wearing lingerie at 13, by the way. Hell no, Jamie. This wasn't a gift to me. But my aunt, or aunt bought my dad, who's a recovering alcoholic, a hip flask.
Jessica Capshaw
I mean, it's a major faux pas.
Unknown
That's. Yeah, you don't do that.
Jessica Capshaw
Jada said a calendar with family dogs, but it's my stepmom's extended family dogs. No idea who they are.
Unknown
Random dog calendar.
Jessica Capshaw
Just. I feel like I'm gonna do that to you. I think I'm gonna send you a calendar of just my dogs.
Unknown
Sure, sure, sure.
Jessica Capshaw
Okay.
Unknown
Ray says, my second year of teaching health, I received a pair of tonsils from a student.
Jessica Capshaw
That's kind of cool in a weird way.
Unknown
Well, I was gonna say, I feel like there's more to this story.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Come on.
Unknown
They said, like, if you're getting your tonsils out, bring them to me in a jar. And then they did. And now. He's right.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Yeah.
Unknown
It was weird.
Jessica Capshaw
Can you take them home? I guess you can. Do you put them. I mean, how do you keep. Keep it. I have questions. Meredith. My mom got me a weird chin strap exercise thing that eliminates a double chin. That's such a. Love that.
Unknown
Thanks, Mom. Yeah, it's a real vote of confidence.
Jessica Capshaw
Confidence booster.
Unknown
It's a confidence booster. Liv. I was given a cuddle boyfriend pillow. And it has an arm to wrap around yourself to make you feel less alone.
Jessica Capshaw
Shut up. Listen, if you're around, like, your cousins and stuff, and they're. You're like, okay, I'm opening this one up, and it's a cuddle boyfriend. Because you're single. It just feels. I don't know. I don't like this one.
Unknown
I think you leave it at home. I don't think you're cuddling with it around others.
Jessica Capshaw
Well, you leave it at home, but you're opening it up and someone's thinks that you need the pillow? I don't know.
Camille Luddington
Homes.Com knows having the right agent can make or break your home search. That's why they provide home shoppers with an agent directory that gives you a detailed look at each agent's experience, like the number of closed sales in a specific neighborhood, average price range, and more. It lets you easily connect with all the agents in the area you're searching so you can find the right agent with the right experience and ultimately the right home for you. Homes.com, we've done your homework. My brother in law died suddenly and now my sister and her kids have to sell their home. That's why I told my husband we could not put off getting life insurance any longer. An agent offered us a 10 year $500,000 policy for nearly $50 a month. Then we called Selectquote. Selectquote found us identical coverage for only $19 a month, a savings of $369 a year. Whether you need a $500,000 policy or a $5 million policy, Select Quote could save you more than 50% on term life insurance. For your free quote go to select selectquote.com that's selectquote.com selectquote we shop. You save full details on example policies@selectquote.com.
Jessica Capshaw
Commercials cheap Caribbean is celebrating More than just the new year in 2025 Cheap Caribbean Vacations is celebrating its 25th birthday too. You're invited to join in on the birthday fun and book a beach vacay with more savings.
Unknown
Now through February 3rd, you can unlock up to $250 off site wide vacation packages, these awesome savings at your favorite beach and book your next all inclusive vacay@cheapcaribbean.com your $250 off is waiting. Did you know that Future health can help make weight loss resolutions come true? When it's about biology and not willpower, it's not your fault that the dieting just doesn't work. Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just three minutes and for less than $3 a day. Eight out of 10 users say that using the Future Health program is more effective than anything they have ever tried.
Jessica Capshaw
Feeling good is important and no matter what you do to be healthy or lose weight, now we get to utilize science and everyone wins. They give millions of people affordable access to weight loss meds for less than $3 a day. Just take their quick 3 minute survey from there. If approved by clinician, you'll get prescribed and get meds delivered to your door within 24 hours.
Unknown
Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just 3 minutes at try FH.com try FH.com try Fh.com futurehealth is not a healthcare services provider. Meds are prescribed at providers discretion. Results may vary. Sponsored by FutureHealth Looking for excitement?
Camille Luddington
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Jessica Capshaw
Summer, my cousins gave me a car. A. Yeah, this would be easier for me to say in a British accent. Can I just tell you this? Summer, my cousins gave me a cardboard cutout of the rock. So weird.
Unknown
Is that what you sound like when you're English?
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, I love it.
Unknown
You should definitely. Yeah, I do.
Jessica Capshaw
Okay.
Unknown
Sounds spicy.
Jessica Capshaw
Cardboard cutout. Cardboard cut out. It's just harder in American accent. I digress. Of the Rock. So weird. No, there's more to this too. Come on. Maybe you love Jumanji or something. I don't know.
Unknown
During COVID when we couldn't all be together for the holidays, I got a cardboard cut out like a life size. One of the kids and I sent it to my parents.
Jessica Capshaw
That's really cute. That's really cute.
Unknown
Maya. The weirdest gift I ever got. A taxidermy duck. I'm terrified of it. What?
Jessica Capshaw
It's gross.
Unknown
No.
Jessica Capshaw
Oh, no. I don't like that. Kara, my ex, gifted me a ring that had a name engraved in it. But it wasn't my name.
Unknown
I got it at an estate sale. It's vintage.
Jessica Capshaw
I mean, okay, yes, possible, but don't ever. Like if you're an estate sale, like, you don't need to pick the ring that has the engraving. Go get it blasted off by somebody.
Unknown
Taya. I got a book from my grandfather that had a voice box inside, but it was his girlfriend's voice instead of his. Surprise.
Jessica Capshaw
That's very strange. The grandparents are not looking so hot right now. No, they gotta work on it. I think they need some feedback.
Unknown
Or actually, the grandmas are pretty hot. We need them to get cooler.
Jessica Capshaw
They're spicy. Yeah. Claire, I got gifted back the gift that I gave that person the year prior. I've had this happen to me.
Unknown
Oh.
Jessica Capshaw
I can't remember what gift it was, but it was very clear that I had gifted it.
Unknown
I think that's just awkward and kind of funny.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, of course.
Unknown
What are you.
Jessica Capshaw
I didn't cry.
Unknown
No. Carissa said my monster in law gave me makeup for Christmas that was clearly used.
Jessica Capshaw
Oh, that's gross. Malara. I got a box of what? Duct tape. With a book of how to make things out of duct tape. I have never once expressed that I.
Unknown
Want to do this, but whoever got it for you really sees it for you.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, yeah.
Unknown
They see you as a duct tape creator.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Wow. New business.
Unknown
Ally wrote in and said, I love Harry Styles. However, I did not need to receive a cardboard cut out of him creepy and weird gift.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, no, it's a little too intense. Maybe a cuddle pillow of Harry.
Unknown
A cuddle boyfriend. Harry Styles.
Jessica Capshaw
I feel like a cuddle boyfriend. It could. That, that's. We could mesh those two up and maybe it's more of a success.
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. Then it has some personality and some.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah.
Unknown
I think you could wrap your.
Jessica Capshaw
And a name. Naya. My boyfriend at the time gave me a Gillette shaving kit.
Unknown
Oh, off. What's he trying. What's he trying to say? Shave.
Jessica Capshaw
Shave better.
Camille Luddington
I don't know.
Jessica Capshaw
You know what that, that feels to me like. I can picture it now. He's on the way there, he's like, I forgot a gift. He runs into cvs. He sees that Gillette. He's like. And it's all like, you know, some of those things are like kind of in the nice packaging.
Unknown
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
When they're kind of like packaged.
Unknown
And he's like, wait, Africa wrote in. I think this one's very funny. I got a bathroom guest book for guests to leave their reviews of their bathroom experience in my house.
Jessica Capshaw
I've never heard of that.
Unknown
It's never so gross.
Jessica Capshaw
Disgusting.
Unknown
Never.
Jessica Capshaw
I feel like Africa should have named names with that one.
Unknown
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
I want to know the relationship. That's a brother gift. Potentially. Okay, Bethany, we do have to talk about that at some point. Bethany, I got men's boxers. My mother in law assumed all lesbians wear them. At first I was like, before she's. At the last part, I was like, you know what? I. I've worn a men's boxers. Back in the day, they were like very like, cool. Yeah.
Unknown
I wore them. I wear them under my uniform skirts.
Jessica Capshaw
But when you. With the last part with the lesbian assumption, that's where it's going wrong.
Unknown
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
That's where it takes a turn.
Unknown
You don't get to do that.
Jessica Capshaw
No.
Unknown
Natalia wrote in, the worst gift I've ever received is one of those foot pedal workout things as a hint for me to lose weight.
Jessica Capshaw
I think, I think the rule here should be unless you specifically say that you want a specific workout thing, you don't get gifted anything like that.
Unknown
No.
Jessica Capshaw
If I came downstairs Christmas morning and there was a giant, like one of those giant, like balls under the tree.
Unknown
Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
You know I'm talking about the bouncy ones.
Unknown
Yeah, yeah. Exercise balls. Yeah.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Matt would be in trouble.
Unknown
Yeah. Unless I specifically put it on my list. I would not want that.
Jessica Capshaw
No. Okay. Thelma. I got a bidet day one year. Thought it was such a weird gift, but ended up loving it.
Unknown
Whoa.
Jessica Capshaw
See, this is what I'm saying. You could surprise someone with a gift and not realize that you actually fall in love with that gift. She loves that bidet.
Unknown
Yeah. I also think that's kind of just a cumbersome thing to give as a gift. I could you give a gift certificate for it and say, like, I'll have the bidet installed next week.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah. Like, how do you. How do you do that?
Unknown
Wrapping the bidet and putting it under the tree. By the way, do all Americans know what a bidet is? I've never seen a bidet in America. Okay, so a bidet as explained by a non European Jessica Capshaw would be. It looks like a toilet without a seat or a back. Yeah. And it has a fountain. Yeah. And like a fountain in the middle. In the middle that is sort of adjustable.
Jessica Capshaw
And you, you sit on it.
Unknown
Sit on it.
Jessica Capshaw
And you wash what you need to.
Unknown
Wash. You wash your. Your downstairs, your. Your under bits, your undercarriage.
Jessica Capshaw
I have one in my home.
Unknown
Do you?
Jessica Capshaw
Yes, in my primary bathroom. I have that.
Unknown
Did you put it in?
Jessica Capshaw
No, I did not. And I was not gifted it. It was already there. Little. Little add on.
Unknown
That's unique.
Jessica Capshaw
Okay, you're next.
Unknown
Mariska says, I got a penis shaped candle from my then boyfriend. I'm a lesbian now. Thank God. I mean, the audacity and or sense of humor that someone would have to have to give you a penis shaped candle.
Jessica Capshaw
I can't say I've ever seen a penis shaped candle. Also, what time of year? It's not like a bachelorette party. Like when are you whipping that out? You know what I'm saying?
Unknown
Also, would you want to see it like burn?
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, it's kind of gross.
Unknown
Okay, Reagan.
Jessica Capshaw
Okay. When I was 14, my grand. Oh, the grandma's again.
Unknown
Here we are again.
Jessica Capshaw
Watch out. Grandma gave me a box of photos of random boys because I didn't have a boyfriend.
Unknown
That's weird.
Jessica Capshaw
You know what? No. Is it that weird? Because if they're boys in the neighborhood, it's kind of like a dating app, but grandma style. It's like a scrapbook. It's like, bumble.
Unknown
What's she supposed to do with the pictures, though?
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, you're right, because the people aren't also consenting to even be in the book.
Unknown
Yeah. Okay. And we are gonna finish this off with Jeffrey with another grandma gone wrong. My grandma gave me a dildo in lube last year for Christmas. I am not gay. It was so awkward, and none of us knew what to do or why she gifted me this.
Jessica Capshaw
This is what we're gonna. You know what? We are naming this pod? Grandma's Gone wild because. Or some version of that. Because the great. We gotta talk to some grandmas. We gotta know. Like, we gotta talk to that grandma.
Unknown
Oh, we're not there yet, but I'm telling you, I feel like these ladies really. I mean, how often do you hear, like, zero Fs given? But I think that it's almost like an age thing. Like, you earn that you don't give up. Yeah, like, I'm gonna give my grandkids all sorts of weird section. I don't care anymore.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like, I don't know. Maybe it's on sale.
Camille Luddington
Do.
Jessica Capshaw
I mean. I don't know, maybe, like, she's trying to be hip, right? Like, sex positive. Like, whatever you.
Unknown
So many things right now.
Jessica Capshaw
Whatever you need, I'm cool with it. In fact, here's a dildo and lube. How about it?
Unknown
All right. Well, you continue to inspire and make me laugh. Thank you very much for this moment. The. This was a session I did not know that I needed. And I'm glad that I got.
Jessica Capshaw
Me, too. They always come through. And. And. But. And I. I really think that. Also, what I love about it is that we continue to get surprised.
Unknown
Yeah. Oh, there's people out there that are ready to surprise you.
Jessica Capshaw
Yeah, they are. All right, we're gonna let you guys go and call this the end of the episode.
Camille Luddington
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Podcast Summary: Call It What It Is – "Short & Sweet: Grandma's Gifts Gone Wild"
Episode Title: Short & Sweet: Grandma's Gifts Gone Wild
Release Date: December 2, 2024
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Podcast Series: Call It What It Is
Hosts: Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington
In this festive episode of Call It What It Is, titled "Short & Sweet: Grandma's Gifts Gone Wild," hosts Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington delve into the hilariously awkward and downright bizarre world of holiday gift-giving. Centered around the theme of unusual presents, especially those from beloved grandmothers, the episode invites listeners to share their most memorable and unexpected gifts. The hosts aim to create a relatable and entertaining conversation for anyone who's ever received a gift that left them scratching their heads.
The episode kicks off with Jessica and Camilla acknowledging the chaotic nature of the holiday season. Jessica humorously remarks, "I think I'm gonna have to really speak very eloquently" at [04:23], setting a playful and candid tone. Both hosts express their excitement to dive into the topic, emphasizing the collective experience of receiving odd gifts during the holidays.
Jessica Capshaw's Awkward Jewelry Gift ([05:47] – [07:03])
Jessica shares a particularly cringe-worthy experience from her past:
"I had an ex-boyfriend give me the most hideous piece of jewelry ever. It looked like a relic, perhaps even possessed. It was more like... something your grandma would see and say, 'Ew.'"
— Jessica Capshaw, [05:47]
She laments about the garish design, likening it to something that might turn into a transformer:
"I don't need it to look like it could turn into a transformer. That's... one of my Achilles' heels."
— Jessica Capshaw, [06:46]
Camilla Luddington's Light-Hearted Banter ([04:09] – [05:26])
Camilla engages in humorous back-and-forths with Jessica, joking about sounding intoxicated in previous episodes and contemplating speaking in a British accent:
"Maybe you should just do one in your English accent?"
— Camilla Luddington, [04:40]
The heart of the episode revolves around listener-submitted stories of unusual and often humorous gifts received from family members, predominantly grandmothers. Jessica and Camilla read and react to each submission, providing commentary and shared laughter.
1. Oven Mitt from an Ex-Husband ([10:30] – [11:13])
"The worst gift I've ever received is an oven mitt from QVC from my husband on Valentine's Day. He's now my ex."
— Goodwin, [10:30]
Jessica and Camilla joke about the untimeliness of the gift:
"An oven mitt on Valentine's Day? That's the double whammy – bad gift on the wrong holiday."
— Camilla Luddington, [10:44]
2. Meat Thermometer for a Vegetarian ([17:18] – [17:36])
"Ella said my mom gave me a meat thermometer. I'm vegetarian."
— Ella, [17:18]
The hosts empathize and laugh, highlighting the mismatch between the gift and the recipient's lifestyle:
"I don't know why people forget these things. It seems very on purpose though, as a gift."
— Camilla Luddington, [17:30]
3. Bidet as a Gift ([30:14] – [31:33])
"Thelma got a bidet last year. Thought it was weird, but ended up loving it."
— Thelma, [30:14]
Jessica explains what a bidet is for listeners unfamiliar with the concept:
"It's like a toilet without a seat or a back, with an adjustable fountain in the middle. You sit on it and wash what you need to."
— Jessica Capshaw, [31:02]
4. Penis-Shaped Candle ([31:55] – [32:27])
"Mariska got a penis-shaped candle from her then-boyfriend."
— Mariska, [31:55]
The hosts react with a mix of humor and bewilderment:
"A dildo and lube from Grandma? They say she's trying to be hip, but... it's kind of gross."
— Jessica Capshaw, [32:12]
5. Cardboard Cutout of The Rock ([25:32] – [26:35])
"Summer's cousins gave her a cardboard cutout of The Rock."
— Summer, [25:32]
Jessica humorously imitates a British accent while describing the awkwardness of such a gift:
"Cardboard cutout. It's just harder in an American accent. Of The Rock. So weird."
— Jessica Capshaw, [25:44]
6. Hijinks with Grandmas ([27:02] – [34:07])
Multiple stories revolve around grandmas giving unconventional gifts, prompting the hosts to collectively chuckle and commiserate:
"My grandma gave me a dildo and lube last year for Christmas. I am not gay. It was so awkward."
— Jeffrey, [27:13]
Throughout the episode, Jessica and Camilla explore the underlying reasons behind such odd gift choices. They touch upon generational differences, attempts at humor, or perhaps a genuine but misguided attempt to connect.
Handling Awkward Gifts:
Jessica advises that it's okay not to like a gift but emphasizes the importance of handling the situation with grace:
"It's okay to not like it, right? You're like 'please don't judge me. Don't think I would have chosen this for myself.'"
— Jessica Capshaw, [07:40]
Repurposing Unwanted Gifts:
The conversation also touches on what to do with unwanted gifts, contemplating donation versus keeping them hidden:
"They do have to go. But you can't hawk them while you're in the relationship... You gotta break up."
— Jessica Capshaw, [07:24]
Jessica and Camilla intersperse the episode with light-hearted jokes and relatable anecdotes, making the discussion both entertaining and empathetic. They highlight the shared experience of navigating the sometimes treacherous waters of gift-giving, especially within family dynamics.
"We have to talk about that at some point. Bethany, I got men's boxers. My mother-in-law assumed all lesbians wear them."
— Bethany, [29:32]
Wrapping up the episode, Jessica and Camilla reflect on the surprises and unexpectedness of gift-giving. They conclude that while some gifts may be odd or unwelcome, they often come from a place of love and thoughtfulness, even if misdirected.
"We continue to get surprised. There are people out there that are ready to surprise you."
— Jessica Capshaw, [34:33]
They leave listeners with a sense of camaraderie and laughter, acknowledging that everyone has their own stories of unusual gifts, and these stories help us bond and navigate future gift exchanges with a bit more grace and humor.
"I had an ex-boyfriend give me the most hideous piece of jewelry ever. It looked like a relic, perhaps even possessed."
— Jessica Capshaw, [05:47]
"The worst gift I've ever received is an oven mitt from QVC from my husband on Valentine's Day. He's now my ex."
— Goodwin, [10:30]
"You know, you're like micro minis."
— Camilla Luddington, [19:31]
"A dildo and lube from Grandma? They're spicy."
— Jessica Capshaw, [32:12]
"It's okay to not like it, right? You're like 'please don't judge me.'
— Jessica Capshaw, [07:40]
"We have to talk about that at some point. Bethany, I got men's boxers."
— Bethany, [29:32]
"We continue to get surprised. There are people out there that are ready to surprise you."
— Jessica Capshaw, [34:33]
"Short & Sweet: Grandma's Gifts Gone Wild" offers a humorous and heartfelt exploration of the quirks and wonders of holiday gift-giving. Through shared stories, laughter, and genuine reflections, Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington create a space where listeners can laugh at their own experiences and find solace in the universal hilarity of receiving unexpected gifts. This episode is a testament to the enduring bonds of friendship and family, even amidst the occasional gifting missteps.