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Jessica
This is an iHeart podcast.
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Justin Richmond
Foreign.
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Justin Richmond
This is Justin Richmond from Broken Record. Are you the kind of person who sets standards for themselves? Like personally, I told myself if the Lakers lose their do or die game five, I wouldn't let it impact my mood at home with family. The standard Lexus has set for themselves is to experience amazing. Lexus measures success by the feelings and emotions evoked in a driver, like exhilaration and joy. Amazing can only be achieved by knowing people on a deeper level. The standard of amazing results in machines that make you feel more human. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing. Experience Amazing at your Lexus dealer.
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Camille Luddington
Call it what it is with Jessica.
Jessica
Capshaw and Camille Ludington, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Camille Luddington
Foreign crew and welcome to another episode of Short and Sweet, based on a.
Jessica
True story, how to Lose a girl in 10 minutes.
Camille Luddington
We have learned that someone close to us has been lost in a 10 minute situation by somebody else.
Jessica
Less than 10 minutes.
Camille Luddington
Less than 10. This is basically the X right?
Jessica
Yes. But it's like the opposite of the do's. It is kind of a don'ts. It is an episode about. It's a, it's a reverse dating tips guide. It is. Don't do this. Please don't do this.
Camille Luddington
If, if we were subjected to the dating world right now, what would be something that could lose you in 10 minutes? I'm going to tell you right now. Mine. If you showed up real late to the date, it's done.
Jessica
Yeah. Oh, done, done. Like you're not even. Well, okay, well let me ask you, how long are you waiting?
Camille Luddington
No more than 15 minutes and then just leave.
Jessica
Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.
Camille Luddington
And even then I'd be like we're kind of side eyeing the rest of the date.
Jessica
You mean if they got there 14 minutes late?
Camille Luddington
Yeah. I'd be like, that's not, it's, it's a negative for sure. That you'd have to really win me back on.
Jessica
Okay.
Camille Luddington
I think it says a lot. What about you?
Jessica
The number one thing came to mind was smell. If you don't smell like something I like at the beginning of a date, it's sort of a no go. I can't. Because physically I truly can't get over it. Because you have to assume that someone's coming to a date with their A game. Right. You have to assume that they've done everything that they possibly can to be the most attractive, which would include all the things. And if they had a smell that was not compatible with my nose, we would have. It'd be a no go.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Because that, that's the A game smell. Wait for the C game smell.
Jessica
I don't want to know. You don't want to know. That's the best they got, you know, is as an ex, sometimes you have to bring your X game and. Nope.
Camille Luddington
Oh yeah. Once you're in a relationship, you, you, you experience the X game.
Jessica
Exactly.
Camille Luddington
Have you back in the Jurassic era, when we were dating, did you ever go on a date where you wanted to disappear after like five minutes? I'm trying to think really. Oh, you did? I don't think I did have quite that bad of an experience. What was it?
Jessica
He was very arrogant. He was very arrogant and he was just like everything was about him and he was just so full of himself and I was really, I was very, very repelled by it. Like I didn't. Everything he was saying I think was intended to seem attractive. Like. Like, look at how great I am. And everything he said made me feel unattracted to him.
Camille Luddington
Oh, God, sometimes they're so clueless.
Jessica
Yeah. And I didn't. And I'm not so great at. I mean, I'm better now, but back then I would have just sort of suffered through it.
Camille Luddington
Your cutthroat?
Jessica
Yeah. I mean, also, I think all these people dating now have, like, you know, they've figured out the tips and tricks. Right. They've got a friend that, you know, mayday, Mayday. Text them or calls them and is like, I need you. If it's. If they get the word right.
Camille Luddington
You don't have a mayday.
Jessica
Back in.
Camille Luddington
Back in the Jurassic era, I had a mayday.
Jessica
You did. I didn't. Safe word.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a little. It would be like you go to the bathroom and then you're, like, texting, and you're like, just. You gotta call me and be like, oh, my God, the apartment's flooded and you gotta come home. And I. You know. But I never used a mayday. But there was definitely a version of it. Can a vibe be reversed or is it over in 10 minutes?
Jessica
Well, like, let's take this. That. That example. If all. Well, well, I was gonna take the really arrogant guy, but.
Camille Luddington
Oh, yeah, Yeah.
Jessica
I don't think smell. I don't think smell guy is gonna all of a sudden, like, change his smell in 10 minutes.
Camille Luddington
No, because that's the. A game. Smell.
Jessica
Mm. And then arrogant guy again, less at minute 10. He was like, just kidding. Or I was being somehow punked and it wasn't really his. True friendly.
Camille Luddington
Punk would be annoying. I'd be like, why am I being punked on a date?
Jessica
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah. Anyway, so we went to go dig up a little relationship expert advice, and. And. And. And they shared common mistakes that they see people making. You know, that doesn't get them past the, like, you know, yeah, we should do this again sometime.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Jessica
And by sometime, I mean never.
Camille Luddington
Never. Never again. Not even now.
Jessica
Your face in person, across from mine.
Camille Luddington
Lose my number.
Jessica
Maybe fall off the planet.
Camille Luddington
There were four points. There were four expert points.
Jessica
Yeah. And these. Honestly, if any of these surprise you, I'm worried. Okay. Number one, when meeting your first date, it's key to not overwhelm them with your childhood trauma or who your favorite middle school teacher was. Favorite middle school teacher, actually could be a funny story. But your childhood trauma, I would definitely, maybe not bring out on a First date.
Camille Luddington
I think it's hard. I think for someone like me, it's hard because it's always like, where does your dad live? Oh, here. How does your mom live? Well, there's no way I can be like, Kentucky. I have to say, my mom died. And then there are follow up question. And so it's like, I feel bad for people like me because you just in organically make it awkward with the truth.
Jessica
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have.
Camille Luddington
Let's just move on, you know? And it's like, there's no way to like, make it. I don't know. It's awkward.
Jessica
Okay, fine. You're right.
Camille Luddington
No, I understand. Voluntarily. You're not gonna. You shouldn't be like. I just. I would like to talk about my second grade bully right now. Like, it's not the time. You know, there's ways to avoid certain things. Number two, avoid being.
Jessica
This is a big one, by the way. I've heard this from many, many, many different people.
Camille Luddington
This would have been my problem.
Jessica
Okay, go, go.
Camille Luddington
To avoid being fixated on whether there is chemistry or not with the person you're on a date with.
Jessica
Yes. Because people can really miss out on really great people because you're so focused on the instant chemistry. And sometimes there isn't. Is that what you're gonna say?
Camille Luddington
I don't. Yes. No, I. I agree that that's probably true, but back when I was dating in the Jurassic era, this would have been like, we should do this again sometime. Cop out line. Like, there was. If I felt no chemistry on that date, there was no second date, and I was looking for it. That's also the problem.
Jessica
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
Like, I was like, digging in the date.
Jessica
Often we. But often we mistake chemistry or we.
Camille Luddington
We.
Jessica
We mistake. We mistake being hot for someone with chemistry. I get that they can be intertwined, but like, you can't see personality from across the room so often. You don't necessarily. Out in the wild, I don't think.
Camille Luddington
I know. I disagree. I don't. I. When I'm thinking about this, I'm not necessarily thinking about, like, hot, steamy chemistry. I'm thinking like way more personality chemistry, actually.
Jessica
Okay. All right. Okay.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jessica
All right. Well, I. Earlier in one of the episodes, I spoke about someone who was not. Was a different height than me and it was shorter. And I gave them sec. I gave them.
Camille Luddington
I don't mean gifted them a second day. Yeah, gifted them a second day. It is what it is. It was a gift. Was a gift. Did they get gifted a third?
Jessica
No, Because I couldn't push through the fact there was no chemistry.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. That's where the gifts ended. Sorry. Okay.
Jessica
Number three, very common mistake people make on first dates is bringing up past relationships in a negative way. I understand that.
Camille Luddington
Oh, can I tell you what? Like, set would have sent alarm bells for me is when. And I still judge this, when I hear guys say this is when. They're like, my ex was crazy. I'm instantly like, what did you do?
Jessica
Oh, and. Or you are.
Camille Luddington
That's what I'm saying. What did you. You are the reason.
Jessica
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
I don't believe the ex is crazy. I'm like, you're undateable.
Jessica
Yeah, for sure.
Camille Luddington
I side with this girl that I don't even know.
Jessica
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
For another big mistake is talking too much about yourself and not asking your date any questions. That's hard because sometimes that comes out.
Jessica
Of being my guy did.
Camille Luddington
But sometimes I think you can. Sometimes nerves do that. Like you're trying to, like, push conversation and you. It's kind of an accident.
Jessica
Yeah, I get that. But you shouldn't do it. That's how you lose a girl in 10 minutes.
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Ryan Seacrest
Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway. Now through June 24th. Score hot summer savings and earn four times the points. Look for in store tags on items like Starbucks ground coffee, Red Bull energy drinks, Spam, Classic Planet oat milk, Charmin bath tissue, Totino's pizza rolls and Frito Lay chips. Then clip the offer in the app for automatic event long savings. Shop in store or online for easy drive up and go pickup or delivery subject to availability restrictions apply. Visit Albertsons or Safeway.com for more details.
Justin Richmond
This is Justin Richmond from Broken Record. Are you the kind of person who sets standards for themselves? Like, personally, I told myself if the Lakers lose or do or die game five, I wouldn't let it impact my mood at home with family. The standard Lexus has set for themselves is to experience amazing. Lexus measures success by the feelings and emotions evoked in a driver, like exhilaration and joy. Amazing can only be achieved by knowing people on a deeper level. The standard of amazing results in machines that make you feel more human. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing. Experience. Amazing. At your Lexus dealer. At Ameca Insurance, we know it's more.
Camille Luddington
Than just a car or a house.
Justin Richmond
It's the four wheels that get you.
Camille Luddington
Where you're going and the four walls.
Justin Richmond
That welcome you home.
Camille Luddington
When you combine auto and home insurance.
Justin Richmond
With Amica, we'll help protect it all.
Camille Luddington
And the more you cover, the more.
Justin Richmond
You can save Amica.
Camille Luddington
Empathy is our best policy. The crew have submissions.
Jessica
Yeah, well, they've got submissions, and I cannot wait. Are you ready for it? Mary said, talk about only yourself. Yeah, true story.
Camille Luddington
Ooh, Lacey, pull out your phone mid conversation.
Jessica
That's a move. Don't do.
Camille Luddington
That's not good.
Jessica
I'm gone. Bye, Olivia. Rude to the waiter. No kidding. Oh, it's so embarrassing.
Camille Luddington
It's awful. Gabby, slurp their drink.
Jessica
Heck, Stacy, talk about their ex.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bianca, bringing up politics is a no for me.
Jessica
Yeah, it's not a safe place to talk.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Jessica
Amanda, mentioning they don't like animals. My dogs are my kids.
Camille Luddington
Oh, yeah, that's true.
Jessica
Anyone who doesn't like animals.
Camille Luddington
That's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Why?
Jessica
You don't need to be a day on a date with them.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. No. Lost Sierra. Chew with their mouth open. Yeah. 10 minutes, dude. 10 minutes.
Jessica
Tasha. Ordering for me or telling me what I would like?
Camille Luddington
Oh, I don't even know what I would do. I can't. That has to be an invitation. Like, I'd be like, hey, Jessica, what's good here? You know, and. And that would. That would be fine. But if you're like, you will. Well, I don't know. There is a version of this where someone's, like, at a new restaurant, the other person's been here, and you're like, oh, my God, you'll love the steak here. It's so good. There's a version of this that's not what I think.
Jessica
Ordering for me. Like, when the waiter comes, they say what your order is without asking you.
Camille Luddington
No, that part of it is gross. But the second part of this is also telling me what I would like. And I think there's, you know, there's a way to maybe suggest, like, you might love this, but I do. You'll you'll know. You would know the difference. Marie. Pulling. What? Pulling out his vape right in front of my face mid conversation, you guys.
Jessica
Well, between that and the zins, I think that it's probably entered the dating.
Camille Luddington
Oh God, I bet it happens all the time. What? Gross.
Jessica
Jamie says cussing excessively. I get that.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah yeah.
Jessica
I do like to throw a good around.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, well, but this is excessive. You know, it's. A lot's been thrown around, Anna. One time a guy picked me up for the first date and. And I knew immediately he was not my man when I saw him have a road rage unsafe.
Jessica
Are you kidding? Get out of the car. Call 91 1.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Jessica
Okay. Brandy said checking out. Oh, gone in less than 10 seconds. Checking out another girl while talking to you.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, that's a ten second my Lori for me personally, if he says off the bat, he doesn't want kids.
Jessica
Okay, bye.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, well that's important for you.
Jessica
Megan said talking about themselves the whole time and not having interest in you.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Oh, Miley. Look at, look at Miley coming in saying they don't like Taylor Swift. Wow. Okay.
Jessica
That's all right, Reagan. I went on a date and he right away smelled like mildew. I couldn't do it. I'm with you.
Camille Luddington
That was his a smell. That was his a game smile the mildew. Aaron. Controversial may be, but I do not like when a man asked me right off the bat what I do for work. We are more than our job.
Jessica
Okay.
Camille Luddington
Huh. Yeah, I guess it's a conversation starter though. That's what's hard about that.
Jessica
Yeah, I guess. Lauren talk about their mom.
Camille Luddington
I don't know how annoying is the mom? Some of us said, you know, who knows, maybe you leave that for like a later date. You know, like 10 dates in you're like my mom kind of sucks. Olivia show up late immediately will lose me. Olivia, me and you. I said this earlier.
Jessica
Yeah, mom said it's a no no for me if a guy talks about how he was in a frat.
Camille Luddington
Wow, that's a. That's a lot of America that's going to take some. Some guys out of your dating pool.
Jessica
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
Sarah, I wonder if there's like a well known frat. I don't know this answer because like this is not, you know, I was not part of the American college scene, but I wonder if there's a certain frat too that carries like a. I was in Delta Kappa Sigma. Yeah, that you're. There's a certain one also that just.
Jessica
Carries known for being naughty.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Bad vibe. Yeah. Sarah, discuss who is. Oh, God. Sarah said, discuss who is paying before we even decide where we're going to dinner. Do people really do that?
Jessica
I mean, talk about the Jurassic era. I don't even remember that, so.
Camille Luddington
Jurassic era. Oh, God, Please, no. What is happening, people?
Jessica
Yeah. And. But you know what? A lot. You know what the kids do these days? They just. They venmo each other and stuff. They, like, go out and then, like, they go, split skis.
Camille Luddington
They do a split skis. It's always an awkward conversation. The split skis on a date, it's.
Jessica
Well, I guess I'm gonna be Jurassic and tell you that back in the day, when I was dating, I would just.
Camille Luddington
The assumption is you're paying for dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jessica
Because I've gifted you with this date.
Camille Luddington
But what. I mean, yeah, yeah. You gift the date, they gift the dinner. Gifting your time, it's, you know, it's like a gift. Makes sense. Yeah. I'm gifting you me.
Jessica
Oh. But although I do actually have a faint memory, I can't remember who it was or what, but I do remember there being a situation where I. It wasn't the really bad guy, but I did. There was a date that was going particularly badly. Bad. How do you say that? There was. There was a date that was not going well.
Camille Luddington
It was a date.
Jessica
And I remember being like, I don't want to owe this guy anything. And I. I was like, I'll pay.
Camille Luddington
Your card was out before. I will pay to get out of your appetizers.
Jessica
I was like, bye.
Camille Luddington
I have a question. Really quick, before we go. Okay. When you're. When Jurassic era dating, the guy goes, like, the check arrives at the table. Did you do the fake? Like, I'll reach for my purse and you better stop me.
Jessica
I hated that. I still feel that way when I'm, like, out with someone who's, like, more senior or. Or that I, like, work with, and they're in a situation where it would be more customary for them, and it's assumed that they probably will. But at the same time, I don't want to not offer.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Jessica
So you do like the faux move to the wallet, the hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Camille Luddington
If you're. If you're, like, having a meeting, though, with, like, you know, a Jeff Bezos, though. Are you even doing a reach? Are you doing. I would do. I would still do a reach.
Jessica
I think it's right to do a reach, but I think probably I'm imagining this, but probably most people don't. Listen, if your net worth. If your net worth is published, I think that likely you're probably thinking that everyone assumes you're paying for whatever meal you're having.
Camille Luddington
But I don't. Like from me and my person, just for me, it's a pride thing.
Jessica
That's what I mean. I think. Yeah, I get that. I get that.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Jessica
We've digressed. Okay, so these are the things. These are just some of the things that might lose you a girl.
Camille Luddington
But this is 10 minutes. It's not 10 days. This is a short amount of time.
Jessica
This is a short amount of time. So bring your A game. Your your a game. Smell your a game conversation. You're a game. Just your A game.
Camille Luddington
Bring gray game if girls are gifting you a date.
Jessica
Oh, you know, one of my biggest turnoffs is actually you could add to this. How to lose a. How to lose a girl in 10 minutes.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Jessica
Apathy. When people don't care. Like, when they don't care about anything, whether it's just not. I appreciate people who care.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you kind of smell that vibe from a mile away, too. Yep.
Jessica
Sure do. All right, well, this has been highly enjoyable. We'll walk down memory lane.
Camille Luddington
I also just love it when the crew give us submissions because they tell us stuff that I wouldn't even think about, and then I'm like, yeah, you're so right. You're out in 10 minutes. Okay.
Jessica
Let's call it the end of the episode.
Podcast Summary: "Call It Short & Sweet: How To Lose A Girl In 10"
Podcast Information:
Overview: In this engaging episode of Call It What It Is, hosts Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington delve into the often overlooked topic of what behaviors can quickly end a budding romance. Titled “How To Lose A Girl In 10,” the episode serves as a reverse dating guide, highlighting the critical missteps that can cause potential relationships to fizzle out within the first ten minutes of a date.
Camille kicks off the discussion by presenting the episode’s premise: identifying actions that can swiftly terminate a date. She frames it as learning from firsthand experiences where someone lost interest rapidly due to the other person’s behavior.
Jessica adds nuance by explaining that this episode focuses on the “don’ts” rather than the “dos” in dating, positioning it as a reverse guide to traditional dating tips.
Jessica and Camille share personal experiences and hypothetical scenarios illustrating behaviors that can derail a date almost immediately.
Being Late:
They agree that tardiness signals disrespect and unreliability, making it a swift way to end a date.
Poor Hygiene/Smell:
Emphasizing the importance of presenting oneself well, they note that personal hygiene is non-negotiable and immediately noticeable.
Arrogance:
Arrogant behavior is highlighted as a major turn-off, indicating a lack of genuine connection.
The hosts reference advice from relationship experts about common first-date mistakes that hinder future dating prospects.
Overwhelming with Personal Trauma:
Fixating on Instant Chemistry:
Negative Talk About Past Relationships:
Talking Too Much About Oneself:
The episode transitions to discussing listener-submitted scenarios where specific behaviors led to an immediate end of a date. The duo examines each submission, providing commentary and shared reactions.
Talking Only About Yourself:
Rude or Distracted Behavior:
Excessive Cursing:
Disrespectful Actions:
Money Talks:
Jessica and Camille wrap up the episode by reiterating the importance of bringing one’s “A game” to dates. They emphasize that first impressions are crucial and that avoiding the aforementioned behaviors can foster healthier and more meaningful connections.
They conclude with a lighthearted note on how listener submissions provide fresh perspectives on common dating pitfalls, enhancing the conversation and offering practical advice for their audience.
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion: "Call It Short & Sweet: How To Lose A Girl In 10" serves as an insightful exploration into the behaviors and actions that can sabotage potential romantic connections within the first ten minutes. Through personal anecdotes, expert advice, and listener stories, Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington provide listeners with actionable insights on what to avoid in the dating world, fostering a deeper understanding of the nuances that contribute to successful and respectful interactions.