Call It Short & Sweet: How To Lose A Girl In 10

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Call It Short & Sweet: How To Lose A Girl In 10"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Call It What It Is
• Host/Authors: Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington (from Grey’s Anatomy)
• Episode: Call It Short & Sweet: How To Lose A Girl In 10
• Release Date: June 2, 2025

Overview: In this engaging episode of Call It What It Is, hosts Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington delve into the often overlooked topic of what behaviors can quickly end a budding romance. Titled “How To Lose A Girl In 10,” the episode serves as a reverse dating guide, highlighting the critical missteps that can cause potential relationships to fizzle out within the first ten minutes of a date.

---

Introduction to the Episode Topic (02:09 - 02:54)

Camille kicks off the discussion by presenting the episode’s premise: identifying actions that can swiftly terminate a date. She frames it as learning from firsthand experiences where someone lost interest rapidly due to the other person’s behavior.

• Camille (02:34): “We have learned that someone close to us has been lost in a 10 minute situation by somebody else.”

Jessica adds nuance by explaining that this episode focuses on the “don’ts” rather than the “dos” in dating, positioning it as a reverse guide to traditional dating tips.

• Jessica (02:54): “It is a reverse dating tips guide. It is. Don't do this. Please don't do this.”

Personal Anecdotes on Deal-Breakers (03:07 - 06:19)

Jessica and Camille share personal experiences and hypothetical scenarios illustrating behaviors that can derail a date almost immediately.

1. Being Late:

   • Camille (03:07): “If you showed up real late to the date, it's done.”
   • Jessica (03:25): “No more than 15 minutes and then just leave.”

   They agree that tardiness signals disrespect and unreliability, making it a swift way to end a date.

2. Poor Hygiene/Smell:

   • Jessica (03:49): “If you don't smell like something I like at the beginning of a date, it's sort of a no go.”
   • Camille (04:23): “That's the A game smell. Wait for the C game smell.”

   Emphasizing the importance of presenting oneself well, they note that personal hygiene is non-negotiable and immediately noticeable.

3. Arrogance:

   • Jessica (04:37): Describes a date with an overly arrogant individual who dominated the conversation, making her feel unattracted.
   • Camille (04:58): “He was very arrogant... everything he said made me feel unattracted to him.”

   Arrogant behavior is highlighted as a major turn-off, indicating a lack of genuine connection.

Insights from Relationship Experts (06:19 - 09:13)

The hosts reference advice from relationship experts about common first-date mistakes that hinder future dating prospects.

1. Overwhelming with Personal Trauma:

   • Jessica (07:18): “When meeting your first date, it's key to not overwhelm them with your childhood trauma.”
   • Camille (07:42): Agrees, noting that sharing deep personal issues too soon can create awkwardness.

2. Fixating on Instant Chemistry:

   • Camille (08:35): Advises against being overly focused on immediate chemistry, which can cause one to overlook compatible partners.
   • Jessica (09:07): Notes that people often mistake physical attraction for true chemistry.

3. Negative Talk About Past Relationships:

   • Jessica (10:15): “Bringing up past relationships in a negative way is a major mistake.”
   • Camille (10:21): Criticizes comments like “my ex was crazy,” interpreting them as a red flag for undateability.

4. Talking Too Much About Oneself:

   • Camille (10:51): Highlights that monopolizing the conversation without showing interest in the date can lead to quick disinterest.
   • Jessica (11:02): Emphasizes that excessive self-talk can make the other person feel undervalued.

Listener Submissions: Specific Deal-Breakers (13:38 - 19:46)

The episode transitions to discussing listener-submitted scenarios where specific behaviors led to an immediate end of a date. The duo examines each submission, providing commentary and shared reactions.

1. Talking Only About Yourself:

   • Jessica (13:38): “Mary said talk about only yourself.”
   • Camille (13:47): “Pulled out your phone mid-conversation” is another example.

2. Rude or Distracted Behavior:

   • Camille (14:03): “Rude to the waiter” instantly ruins the date.
   • Jessica (14:17): Dislikes when dates order for her without asking, feeling it invades her autonomy.

3. Excessive Cursing:

   • Jamie (15:36): “Cussing excessively” is flagged as a major turn-off.
   • Camille (15:50): Agrees, pointing out that while occasional swearing can be casual, excessive use is off-putting.

4. Disrespectful Actions:

   • Severity (16:07): Driving unsafely or showing road rage is an immediate deal-breaker.
   • Reagan (16:44): Dislikes it when someone immediately states they don’t want children, as it shows a lack of shared goals.

5. Money Talks:

   • Sarah (17:23): “Discussing who is paying before deciding where to dine” is deemed inappropriate, adding unnecessary pressure early on.
   • Jessica (19:03): Shares frustration with fake attempts to handle the check, highlighting discomfort with such maneuvers.

Key Takeaways and Conclusions (20:48 - 21:27)

Jessica and Camille wrap up the episode by reiterating the importance of bringing one’s “A game” to dates. They emphasize that first impressions are crucial and that avoiding the aforementioned behaviors can foster healthier and more meaningful connections.

• Jessica (20:48): “This is a short amount of time. So bring your A game.”
• Camille (21:00): “Bring your A game if girls are gifting you a date.”

They conclude with a lighthearted note on how listener submissions provide fresh perspectives on common dating pitfalls, enhancing the conversation and offering practical advice for their audience.

• Camille (21:38): “Let's call it the end of the episode.”

---

Notable Quotes:

• Camille Luddington (03:07): “If you showed up real late to the date, it's done.”
• Jessica Capshaw (03:49): “If you don't smell like something I like at the beginning of a date, it's sort of a no go.”
• Camille Luddington (10:44): “I don't believe the ex is crazy. I'm like, you're undateable.”
• Jessica Capshaw (20:48): “This is a short amount of time. So bring your A game.”

Conclusion: "Call It Short & Sweet: How To Lose A Girl In 10" serves as an insightful exploration into the behaviors and actions that can sabotage potential romantic connections within the first ten minutes. Through personal anecdotes, expert advice, and listener stories, Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington provide listeners with actionable insights on what to avoid in the dating world, fostering a deeper understanding of the nuances that contribute to successful and respectful interactions.

Transcript

[Jessica]

This is an iHeart podcast.

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[Justin Richmond]

Foreign.

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[Camille Luddington]

Call it what it is with Jessica.

[Jessica]

Capshaw and Camille Ludington, an iHeartRadio podcast.

[Camille Luddington]

Foreign crew and welcome to another episode of Short and Sweet, based on a.

[Jessica]

True story, how to Lose a girl in 10 minutes.

[Camille Luddington]

We have learned that someone close to us has been lost in a 10 minute situation by somebody else.

[Jessica]

Less than 10 minutes.

[Camille Luddington]

Less than 10. This is basically the X right?

[Jessica]

Yes. But it's like the opposite of the do's. It is kind of a don'ts. It is an episode about. It's a, it's a reverse dating tips guide. It is. Don't do this. Please don't do this.

[Camille Luddington]

If, if we were subjected to the dating world right now, what would be something that could lose you in 10 minutes? I'm going to tell you right now. Mine. If you showed up real late to the date, it's done.

[Jessica]

Yeah. Oh, done, done. Like you're not even. Well, okay, well let me ask you, how long are you waiting?

[Camille Luddington]

No more than 15 minutes and then just leave.

[Jessica]

Yeah, yeah, I agree with that.

[Camille Luddington]

And even then I'd be like we're kind of side eyeing the rest of the date.

[Jessica]

You mean if they got there 14 minutes late?

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah. I'd be like, that's not, it's, it's a negative for sure. That you'd have to really win me back on.

[Jessica]

Okay.

[Camille Luddington]

I think it says a lot. What about you?

[Jessica]

The number one thing came to mind was smell. If you don't smell like something I like at the beginning of a date, it's sort of a no go. I can't. Because physically I truly can't get over it. Because you have to assume that someone's coming to a date with their A game. Right. You have to assume that they've done everything that they possibly can to be the most attractive, which would include all the things. And if they had a smell that was not compatible with my nose, we would have. It'd be a no go.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah. Because that, that's the A game smell. Wait for the C game smell.

[Jessica]

I don't want to know. You don't want to know. That's the best they got, you know, is as an ex, sometimes you have to bring your X game and. Nope.

[Camille Luddington]

Oh yeah. Once you're in a relationship, you, you, you experience the X game.

[Jessica]

Exactly.

[Camille Luddington]

Have you back in the Jurassic era, when we were dating, did you ever go on a date where you wanted to disappear after like five minutes? I'm trying to think really. Oh, you did? I don't think I did have quite that bad of an experience. What was it?

[Jessica]

He was very arrogant. He was very arrogant and he was just like everything was about him and he was just so full of himself and I was really, I was very, very repelled by it. Like I didn't. Everything he was saying I think was intended to seem attractive. Like. Like, look at how great I am. And everything he said made me feel unattracted to him.

[Camille Luddington]

Oh, God, sometimes they're so clueless.

[Jessica]

Yeah. And I didn't. And I'm not so great at. I mean, I'm better now, but back then I would have just sort of suffered through it.

[Camille Luddington]

Your cutthroat?

[Jessica]

Yeah. I mean, also, I think all these people dating now have, like, you know, they've figured out the tips and tricks. Right. They've got a friend that, you know, mayday, Mayday. Text them or calls them and is like, I need you. If it's. If they get the word right.

[Camille Luddington]

You don't have a mayday.

[Jessica]

Back in.

[Camille Luddington]

Back in the Jurassic era, I had a mayday.

[Jessica]

You did. I didn't. Safe word.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just a little. It would be like you go to the bathroom and then you're, like, texting, and you're like, just. You gotta call me and be like, oh, my God, the apartment's flooded and you gotta come home. And I. You know. But I never used a mayday. But there was definitely a version of it. Can a vibe be reversed or is it over in 10 minutes?

[Jessica]

Well, like, let's take this. That. That example. If all. Well, well, I was gonna take the really arrogant guy, but.

[Camille Luddington]

Oh, yeah, Yeah.

[Jessica]

I don't think smell. I don't think smell guy is gonna all of a sudden, like, change his smell in 10 minutes.

[Camille Luddington]

No, because that's the. A game. Smell.

[Jessica]

Mm. And then arrogant guy again, less at minute 10. He was like, just kidding. Or I was being somehow punked and it wasn't really his. True friendly.

[Camille Luddington]

Punk would be annoying. I'd be like, why am I being punked on a date?

[Jessica]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah. Anyway, so we went to go dig up a little relationship expert advice, and. And. And. And they shared common mistakes that they see people making. You know, that doesn't get them past the, like, you know, yeah, we should do this again sometime.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

And by sometime, I mean never.

[Camille Luddington]

Never. Never again. Not even now.

[Jessica]

Your face in person, across from mine.

[Camille Luddington]

Lose my number.

[Jessica]

Maybe fall off the planet.

[Camille Luddington]

There were four points. There were four expert points.

[Jessica]

Yeah. And these. Honestly, if any of these surprise you, I'm worried. Okay. Number one, when meeting your first date, it's key to not overwhelm them with your childhood trauma or who your favorite middle school teacher was. Favorite middle school teacher, actually could be a funny story. But your childhood trauma, I would definitely, maybe not bring out on a First date.

[Camille Luddington]

I think it's hard. I think for someone like me, it's hard because it's always like, where does your dad live? Oh, here. How does your mom live? Well, there's no way I can be like, Kentucky. I have to say, my mom died. And then there are follow up question. And so it's like, I feel bad for people like me because you just in organically make it awkward with the truth.

[Jessica]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have.

[Camille Luddington]

Let's just move on, you know? And it's like, there's no way to like, make it. I don't know. It's awkward.

[Jessica]

Okay, fine. You're right.

[Camille Luddington]

No, I understand. Voluntarily. You're not gonna. You shouldn't be like. I just. I would like to talk about my second grade bully right now. Like, it's not the time. You know, there's ways to avoid certain things. Number two, avoid being.

[Jessica]

This is a big one, by the way. I've heard this from many, many, many different people.

[Camille Luddington]

This would have been my problem.

[Jessica]

Okay, go, go.

[Camille Luddington]

To avoid being fixated on whether there is chemistry or not with the person you're on a date with.

[Jessica]

Yes. Because people can really miss out on really great people because you're so focused on the instant chemistry. And sometimes there isn't. Is that what you're gonna say?

[Camille Luddington]

I don't. Yes. No, I. I agree that that's probably true, but back when I was dating in the Jurassic era, this would have been like, we should do this again sometime. Cop out line. Like, there was. If I felt no chemistry on that date, there was no second date, and I was looking for it. That's also the problem.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Camille Luddington]

Like, I was like, digging in the date.

[Jessica]

Often we. But often we mistake chemistry or we.

[Camille Luddington]

We.

[Jessica]

We mistake. We mistake being hot for someone with chemistry. I get that they can be intertwined, but like, you can't see personality from across the room so often. You don't necessarily. Out in the wild, I don't think.

[Camille Luddington]

I know. I disagree. I don't. I. When I'm thinking about this, I'm not necessarily thinking about, like, hot, steamy chemistry. I'm thinking like way more personality chemistry, actually.

[Jessica]

Okay. All right. Okay.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jessica]

All right. Well, I. Earlier in one of the episodes, I spoke about someone who was not. Was a different height than me and it was shorter. And I gave them sec. I gave them.

[Camille Luddington]

I don't mean gifted them a second day. Yeah, gifted them a second day. It is what it is. It was a gift. Was a gift. Did they get gifted a third?

[Jessica]

No, Because I couldn't push through the fact there was no chemistry.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah. That's where the gifts ended. Sorry. Okay.

[Jessica]

Number three, very common mistake people make on first dates is bringing up past relationships in a negative way. I understand that.

[Camille Luddington]

Oh, can I tell you what? Like, set would have sent alarm bells for me is when. And I still judge this, when I hear guys say this is when. They're like, my ex was crazy. I'm instantly like, what did you do?

[Jessica]

Oh, and. Or you are.

[Camille Luddington]

That's what I'm saying. What did you. You are the reason.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Camille Luddington]

I don't believe the ex is crazy. I'm like, you're undateable.

[Jessica]

Yeah, for sure.

[Camille Luddington]

I side with this girl that I don't even know.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Camille Luddington]

For another big mistake is talking too much about yourself and not asking your date any questions. That's hard because sometimes that comes out.

[Jessica]

Of being my guy did.

[Camille Luddington]

But sometimes I think you can. Sometimes nerves do that. Like you're trying to, like, push conversation and you. It's kind of an accident.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I get that. But you shouldn't do it. That's how you lose a girl in 10 minutes.

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[Justin Richmond]

This is Justin Richmond from Broken Record. Are you the kind of person who sets standards for themselves? Like, personally, I told myself if the Lakers lose or do or die game five, I wouldn't let it impact my mood at home with family. The standard Lexus has set for themselves is to experience amazing. Lexus measures success by the feelings and emotions evoked in a driver, like exhilaration and joy. Amazing can only be achieved by knowing people on a deeper level. The standard of amazing results in machines that make you feel more human. Because a car that doesn't make you feel something is a car that stops short of amazing. Experience. Amazing. At your Lexus dealer. At Ameca Insurance, we know it's more.

[Camille Luddington]

Than just a car or a house.

[Justin Richmond]

It's the four wheels that get you.

[Camille Luddington]

Where you're going and the four walls.

[Justin Richmond]

That welcome you home.

[Camille Luddington]

When you combine auto and home insurance.

[Justin Richmond]

With Amica, we'll help protect it all.

[Camille Luddington]

And the more you cover, the more.

[Justin Richmond]

You can save Amica.

[Camille Luddington]

Empathy is our best policy. The crew have submissions.

[Jessica]

Yeah, well, they've got submissions, and I cannot wait. Are you ready for it? Mary said, talk about only yourself. Yeah, true story.

[Camille Luddington]

Ooh, Lacey, pull out your phone mid conversation.

[Jessica]

That's a move. Don't do.

[Camille Luddington]

That's not good.

[Jessica]

I'm gone. Bye, Olivia. Rude to the waiter. No kidding. Oh, it's so embarrassing.

[Camille Luddington]

It's awful. Gabby, slurp their drink.

[Jessica]

Heck, Stacy, talk about their ex.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bianca, bringing up politics is a no for me.

[Jessica]

Yeah, it's not a safe place to talk.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Amanda, mentioning they don't like animals. My dogs are my kids.

[Camille Luddington]

Oh, yeah, that's true.

[Jessica]

Anyone who doesn't like animals.

[Camille Luddington]

That's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Why?

[Jessica]

You don't need to be a day on a date with them.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah. No. Lost Sierra. Chew with their mouth open. Yeah. 10 minutes, dude. 10 minutes.

[Jessica]

Tasha. Ordering for me or telling me what I would like?

[Camille Luddington]

Oh, I don't even know what I would do. I can't. That has to be an invitation. Like, I'd be like, hey, Jessica, what's good here? You know, and. And that would. That would be fine. But if you're like, you will. Well, I don't know. There is a version of this where someone's, like, at a new restaurant, the other person's been here, and you're like, oh, my God, you'll love the steak here. It's so good. There's a version of this that's not what I think.

[Jessica]

Ordering for me. Like, when the waiter comes, they say what your order is without asking you.

[Camille Luddington]

No, that part of it is gross. But the second part of this is also telling me what I would like. And I think there's, you know, there's a way to maybe suggest, like, you might love this, but I do. You'll you'll know. You would know the difference. Marie. Pulling. What? Pulling out his vape right in front of my face mid conversation, you guys.

[Jessica]

Well, between that and the zins, I think that it's probably entered the dating.

[Camille Luddington]

Oh God, I bet it happens all the time. What? Gross.

[Jessica]

Jamie says cussing excessively. I get that.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah, yeah yeah.

[Jessica]

I do like to throw a good around.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah, well, but this is excessive. You know, it's. A lot's been thrown around, Anna. One time a guy picked me up for the first date and. And I knew immediately he was not my man when I saw him have a road rage unsafe.

[Jessica]

Are you kidding? Get out of the car. Call 91 1.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Okay. Brandy said checking out. Oh, gone in less than 10 seconds. Checking out another girl while talking to you.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah, that's a ten second my Lori for me personally, if he says off the bat, he doesn't want kids.

[Jessica]

Okay, bye.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah, well that's important for you.

[Jessica]

Megan said talking about themselves the whole time and not having interest in you.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah. Oh, Miley. Look at, look at Miley coming in saying they don't like Taylor Swift. Wow. Okay.

[Jessica]

That's all right, Reagan. I went on a date and he right away smelled like mildew. I couldn't do it. I'm with you.

[Camille Luddington]

That was his a smell. That was his a game smile the mildew. Aaron. Controversial may be, but I do not like when a man asked me right off the bat what I do for work. We are more than our job.

[Jessica]

Okay.

[Camille Luddington]

Huh. Yeah, I guess it's a conversation starter though. That's what's hard about that.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I guess. Lauren talk about their mom.

[Camille Luddington]

I don't know how annoying is the mom? Some of us said, you know, who knows, maybe you leave that for like a later date. You know, like 10 dates in you're like my mom kind of sucks. Olivia show up late immediately will lose me. Olivia, me and you. I said this earlier.

[Jessica]

Yeah, mom said it's a no no for me if a guy talks about how he was in a frat.

[Camille Luddington]

Wow, that's a. That's a lot of America that's going to take some. Some guys out of your dating pool.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Camille Luddington]

Sarah, I wonder if there's like a well known frat. I don't know this answer because like this is not, you know, I was not part of the American college scene, but I wonder if there's a certain frat too that carries like a. I was in Delta Kappa Sigma. Yeah, that you're. There's a certain one also that just.

[Jessica]

Carries known for being naughty.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah. Bad vibe. Yeah. Sarah, discuss who is. Oh, God. Sarah said, discuss who is paying before we even decide where we're going to dinner. Do people really do that?

[Jessica]

I mean, talk about the Jurassic era. I don't even remember that, so.

[Camille Luddington]

Jurassic era. Oh, God, Please, no. What is happening, people?

[Jessica]

Yeah. And. But you know what? A lot. You know what the kids do these days? They just. They venmo each other and stuff. They, like, go out and then, like, they go, split skis.

[Camille Luddington]

They do a split skis. It's always an awkward conversation. The split skis on a date, it's.

[Jessica]

Well, I guess I'm gonna be Jurassic and tell you that back in the day, when I was dating, I would just.

[Camille Luddington]

The assumption is you're paying for dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jessica]

Because I've gifted you with this date.

[Camille Luddington]

But what. I mean, yeah, yeah. You gift the date, they gift the dinner. Gifting your time, it's, you know, it's like a gift. Makes sense. Yeah. I'm gifting you me.

[Jessica]

Oh. But although I do actually have a faint memory, I can't remember who it was or what, but I do remember there being a situation where I. It wasn't the really bad guy, but I did. There was a date that was going particularly badly. Bad. How do you say that? There was. There was a date that was not going well.

[Camille Luddington]

It was a date.

[Jessica]

And I remember being like, I don't want to owe this guy anything. And I. I was like, I'll pay.

[Camille Luddington]

Your card was out before. I will pay to get out of your appetizers.

[Jessica]

I was like, bye.

[Camille Luddington]

I have a question. Really quick, before we go. Okay. When you're. When Jurassic era dating, the guy goes, like, the check arrives at the table. Did you do the fake? Like, I'll reach for my purse and you better stop me.

[Jessica]

I hated that. I still feel that way when I'm, like, out with someone who's, like, more senior or. Or that I, like, work with, and they're in a situation where it would be more customary for them, and it's assumed that they probably will. But at the same time, I don't want to not offer.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

So you do like the faux move to the wallet, the hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Camille Luddington]

If you're. If you're, like, having a meeting, though, with, like, you know, a Jeff Bezos, though. Are you even doing a reach? Are you doing. I would do. I would still do a reach.

[Jessica]

I think it's right to do a reach, but I think probably I'm imagining this, but probably most people don't. Listen, if your net worth. If your net worth is published, I think that likely you're probably thinking that everyone assumes you're paying for whatever meal you're having.

[Camille Luddington]

But I don't. Like from me and my person, just for me, it's a pride thing.

[Jessica]

That's what I mean. I think. Yeah, I get that. I get that.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

We've digressed. Okay, so these are the things. These are just some of the things that might lose you a girl.

[Camille Luddington]

But this is 10 minutes. It's not 10 days. This is a short amount of time.

[Jessica]

This is a short amount of time. So bring your A game. Your your a game. Smell your a game conversation. You're a game. Just your A game.

[Camille Luddington]

Bring gray game if girls are gifting you a date.

[Jessica]

Oh, you know, one of my biggest turnoffs is actually you could add to this. How to lose a. How to lose a girl in 10 minutes.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Apathy. When people don't care. Like, when they don't care about anything, whether it's just not. I appreciate people who care.

[Camille Luddington]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And you kind of smell that vibe from a mile away, too. Yep.

[Jessica]

Sure do. All right, well, this has been highly enjoyable. We'll walk down memory lane.

[Camille Luddington]

I also just love it when the crew give us submissions because they tell us stuff that I wouldn't even think about, and then I'm like, yeah, you're so right. You're out in 10 minutes. Okay.

[Jessica]

Let's call it the end of the episode.