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Jessica
Did you know that Future Health can help make weight loss resolutions come true? When it's about biology and not willpower, it's not your fault that the dieting just doesn't work.
Camille Luddington
Find out if weight loss meds are.
Jessica
Right for you in just three minutes and for less than $3 a day. Eight out of 10 users say that using the Future Health program is more effective than anything they have ever tried.
Cheryl
Feeling good is so important and no matter what you do to be healthy or lose weight, now we get to utilize science and everyone wins. They give millions of people affordable access to weight loss meds for less than $3 a day. Just take their quick 3 minute survey from there. If approved by clinician, you'll get prescribed and get meds delivered to your door within 24 hours.
Jessica
Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just 3 minutes.
Camille Luddington
At try FH.com try FH.com try Fh.com.
Jessica
Future health is not a health care services provider. Meds are prescribed at providers discretion. Results may vary spons by Future Health.
Capshaw
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Camille Luddington
Cheap Caribbean is celebrating more than just the new year in 2025. Cheap Caribbean Vacations is celebrating its 25th birthday too. You're invited to join in on the birthday fund and book a beach vacay with more savings. Now through February 3rd you can unlock up to $250 off site wide vacation packages. Celebrate these awesome savings at your favorite beach and book your next all inclusive vacay@cheapcaribbean.com your $2 off is waiting.
Hannah
Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99 of places that take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your card you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the Now It Pays to Discover. Learn more at discover.com credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report.
Callie
Call it what it is with Jessica.
Camille Luddington
Capshaw and Camille Luddington and iHeartRadio podcast. Hello, hello, hello, hello.
Callie
Call it, crew. And welcome to another episode of short and sweet.
Camille Luddington
Sweet, sweet, sweet.
Callie
Today we're doing best relationship advice.
Camille Luddington
Huh? Well, this is.
Callie
I've had some bad advice, too.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Callie
I think we should talk about good and bad advice that you and I have both gotten.
Camille Luddington
Yes. Oh, I just, for some reason, like a lightning rod moment, it just, like, came to my brain, like, the worst advice when you just said that.
Callie
Tell me.
Camille Luddington
Well, and I, I, I understand why it existed, and I'm sure there's some value to it, but remember when it used to be. Well, it probably still.
Callie
Oh, my God.
Cheryl
Wait, I'm just.
Callie
Okay. I have a feeling you're gonna say what I was thinking, too, but go.
Camille Luddington
Oh, I don't know. Now there's pressure. No, just this, like, hard to get. Hard to get cat and mouse. Like, that you're meant to be unavailable and that you're meant to manufacture or somehow strategize this unavailability to then create more intrigue or, like, stir up the. The. I just feel like that advice really messed with my head when I was dating.
Callie
It's so hard, though, because if you're the only one, I feel like everyone in their, like, teens, 20s has that advice or, or feels that way. And so then if you're the only one not playing the game.
Camille Luddington
Yes.
Callie
Then that, like, what does that do? Like, do you look desperado? Like, if someone waits, like, five hours to write you back and then you text back immediately, are you Desperate Dan?
Camille Luddington
Oh, good for you. You came up with a different man's name. It's not Desperate Bob.
Callie
It's only because the saying is Desperate Dan.
Camille Luddington
Oh, where is that saying?
Callie
Like, oh, wait, now it's making me think that, like, a desperate Dan. My brother's name is Dan. Have we just been teasing him about that? I thought that was a real. It was a worldwide thing.
Camille Luddington
I've never heard of a desperate Dan.
Callie
Oh, yeah, no, no, it's a desperate dad. It's a. Is a care. A comic book character. Yeah, it makes you. For a second there, I thought we had just invented to make fun of my brother, which is completely possible. Yeah, you're then a desperate dad. And, like, you're the. And then they're like, wow. Eager.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I think I probably was when I really liked someone. I probably. What I definitely wanted to answer right away.
Callie
You want to? Yeah, of course you want to. You're so excited.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Callie
I think the worst piece of advice I ever got was to basically, like, in the early days, really keep up appearances. Like, there was no, like, yeah, you can meet up and, like, not be all decked out makeup wise on. Hair wise. Like, I was a full on. Like, how does. In tiara.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, you're a red carpet ready.
Callie
I was red carpet ready for, you know, three months of dating. It was not a. Like a. And also, I did the whole thing in Bridesmaids where I was going to get out of bed and I did the makeup. Why?
Camille Luddington
Roll out of bed, Stick out of bed, make sure that you look all the way. Get back in bed. Like, I just woke up.
Callie
Yes.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, I know.
Callie
Screw that. That's ridiculous. I was cute. I didn't feel cute, though.
Camille Luddington
That part of life has been erased from my memory. And just, like, the. Even the idea of having, like, how did we ever get through any of it? Those early days where you still are wanting to make, like, just the most precious impression and never have bad breath or have to poop or.
Callie
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
Fart.
Callie
I remember being on dates. This is so tragic. I remember being on dates and feeling like I should order the salad. I wasn't gonna order this.
Camille Luddington
I know.
Callie
Steak and mashed potatoes. Yeah. And also part of it was because, like, in case later on and you're like, in your underwear, I didn't want this. I don't want to look full, which is so insane.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Yeah. Also, I just remember the beginning of relationships quite. I. I actually genuinely wasn't very hungry. Like, I was all. I was full. I was full of love or full of infatuation. I don't know. But I was always, like. I didn't. I was not hungry. I was like, I'll just have a tiny little tomato.
Callie
Oh, no. I wanted. I wanted the Mac and cheese with the. With all the trimmings.
Camille Luddington
Yeah.
Callie
But I wasn't gonna do it, which is insane, because, by the way, who f cares if in underwear you look like you've had a full meal? That's life in my 20s.
Camille Luddington
Well, it's our life now.
Callie
Definitely is our life now. Definitely. I'm like, hold a tomato.
Camille Luddington
A bucket of wings, and then a bikini. We're good. Fine with that.
Callie
Thank God. Okay. Best piece of a relationship advice. I had someone. I was bad in my early 20s with name calling, and I. In. In a fight with my boyfriend. Oh, really bad. Mean. Oh, mean. Not like. But I would call asshole. You know, like, I would like go for, I would do some low blows in my 20s, you know, and I realized someone said to me, like, the second you lose respect for each other and do that, like there's really no coming back some most of the time. And I realized that was true. And so when I got into a relationship with I want probably Matt, but maybe even the boyfriend before Matt, I started to get really watch myself. And now I'm much way better at that.
Camille Luddington
You're a real firecracker, aren't you?
Callie
I, yeah, yeah. I had to tone it down.
Camille Luddington
You were at like a 12, I.
Callie
Was at a 13 and I bought it down.
Camille Luddington
Really wanted you at like an 8.
Callie
Even an 8. It was a little feisty. I had to really put some water on it.
Camille Luddington
I remember being fight. I remember some feisty times.
Callie
Were you ever like, you listen, you dude. Did you ever like, do, do those in fights?
Camille Luddington
Yeah, I, I, I, it, it's not a good thing. It's not a good thing. I was, it took a lot to get me there, but then it was like you kind of wished I'd gone there earlier because then it might not be so big.
Callie
Yeah, yeah.
Camille Luddington
So like I should have said I don't really love this so much or hey, can you cut that out? When I was at like the, at the 8.
Callie
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
But I waited till I got pushed.
Callie
You waited to the 13?
Camille Luddington
Yeah, I think I waited till like 29.
Callie
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
And then I was like, hold my purse, you mother. And then it would be like everything oversized that I think that like the other person would be like, wow.
Callie
Yeah, that's good advice. That's good advice. The caller crew also has some advice. Had some advice.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Callie
We didn't ask for the bad advice.
Camille Luddington
Wait, sorry, wait. I want my one more thing to add to this only because I think that it's like, it's something that some. Either you will easily guess about me or you won't. I in middle school you had to take debate in seventh grade. And when you take debate, proper debate, you have to argue. You don't know which side you're going to argue. So every year, like the debate, whatever they are, the conferences, they have a topic and you research them and then you debate and you have to take a position. And I remember that really cut my teeth and I became really expert at. And I loved it, loved it arguing and by the way, both sides.
Callie
Oh, you could have been a lawyer.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Callie
I think I would have made a good Lawyer.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, I just, I loved the, I loved the logic of it. I loved, I actually also really loved. I'm walking my talk here. I loved trying to see it from someone else's point of view. Right. I found it incredibly hard to argue some of the things that I did because they were not my opinion, my personal opinion. But having to argue them was a really, really good exercise and it made me understand the other side a lot more. I remember one of my, you know, one of the first jobs I ever. The real jobs I ever had was for David Kelly, who's just one of the most genius wordsmiths of all time. I've gotten to work for some pretty great. I know. And you know, the show, it was a, it was a law show. And I remember starting an episode and there would be a case and I would almost instantly know exactly which side of the case that I, you know.
Jessica
Agreed with or I was aligned with.
Camille Luddington
And his writing was so good that by the end of it I would have. Or by the middle of it I would have switched sides and by the end of it I would have switched back to where I started. But it was just, he was so good at it. So I think that stuff's really exciting and fun. Proving people wrong is what I'm trying to say. Yay.
Callie
I love that too. Who doesn't love that? Come on.
Jessica
Did you know that Future Health can help make weight loss resolutions come true? When it's about biology and not willpower, it's not your fault that the dieting just doesn't work.
Camille Luddington
Find out if weight loss meds are.
Jessica
Right for you in just three minutes and for less than $3 a day. Eight out of 10 users say that using the Future Health program is more effective than anything they have ever tried.
Cheryl
Feeling good is so important and no matter what you do to be healthy or lose weight, now we get to utilize science and everyone wins. They give millions of people affordable access to weight loss meds for less than $3 a day. Just take their quick 3 minute survey from there. If approved by clinician, you'll get prescribed and get meds delivered to your door within 24 hours.
Jessica
Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just 3 minutes.
Camille Luddington
At try FH.com try FH.com try Fh.com.
Jessica
Future health is not a health care services provider. Meds are prescribed at providers discretion. Results may vary.
Camille Luddington
Sponsored by Future Health Cheap Caribbean is celebrating more than just the new year in 2025, Cheap Caribbean Vacations is celebrating its 25th birthday too. You're invited to join on the birthday fund and book a beach vacay with more savings. Now through February 3rd, you can unlock up to $250 off site wide vacation packages. Celebrate these awesome savings at your favorite beach and book your next all inclusive vacay@cheapcaribbean.com your $250 off is waiting.
Hannah
Are you still quoting 30 year old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted? If this sounds like you, you're stuck in the past. Discover is accepted at 99% of places that take credit cards nationwide and every time you make a purchase with your card, you automatically earn cash back. Welcome to the now it pays to Discover. Learn more@discover.com credit card based on the February 2024 Nielsen report at Ameca Insurance.
Riley
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Callie
Okay. We asked the crew. We're gonna go through your best relationship advice and sh. Share it with everybody. Cheryl said communication is key, but understanding one another is even more important. Love it.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, but I don't always understand. Sometimes I mean like I can. I can perspective take, but I. But I sometimes do go. Yeah, I don't really understand. Like I don't understand what it's like to be you in this moment and feel the way you do. I could respect it, but I might not always understand it.
Callie
I think maybe that's what she's getting at because I agree with you too. Yeah.
Camille Luddington
Sienna said the best relationship advice I've received is to put down all of my issues on paper. Odds are they are built differently than what you built them in your head to be.
Callie
That's cool.
Camille Luddington
Interesting.
Callie
I like that. Date your spouse. Agree.
Camille Luddington
Yes. Jennifer.
Callie
Yes. I like to be wooed. So does Matt. I like a little wooing.
Camille Luddington
Lacy said, those who don't put effort in for you aren't worth your effort into them. I agree with that. Absolutely. Let them.
Callie
Hannah. My mom always told me to bring a newer guy. I am seeing tour sports event. Watch a big game and see if he reacts. Crazy. Oh, that's a good one.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Chico said the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
Callie
Chico. I don't agree. I don't agree. Oh do you?
Camille Luddington
I'm having to really think back. I think it can be a distraction, but. No. Does it?
Callie
I think sometimes it can make you miss the other person.
Camille Luddington
Oh. Especially if the one that. The new one. Yeah.
Callie
It can make you. If there. If they're, you know, you're like, well, that was gross. Abby say thank you often, even for the little things. Recognizing efforts makes a huge difference. I really agree with that. Oh, my God. It goes. It goes a long way.
Camille Luddington
Yep. Juliana said resolve the argument before you both go to bed. That's one that people talk about. I've not.
Callie
Sometimes I think you gotta sleep on it. No. Sometimes I'm too heated. I know I need to go to bed and it's just not going to go anywhere and I don't need to be there until 2:00 in the morning.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Yeah.
Callie
Emily, the best relationship advice I've ever received is that a cheater will always be a cheater. I don't agree. H. Controversial. I say this as someone who's cheated in my 20s, I definitely, you know, was not always the best girlfriend. And I just. So I disagree. I've been with my husband for a long time, you guys, and I've been very faithful. 13 years. Baby.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Baby.
Callie
I don't know. When you're young, you do stupid stuff. I think if you're a habitual cheater. I think if you're cheating in every relationship, then the likelihood is. Is that I don't know if you can turn it around.
Camille Luddington
I also think that some people feel comfortable, like maybe not even necessarily relationship specific, but you know those people that just always cut corners, they always just sort of. Fudge.
Callie
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
The truth. A little.
Callie
Yes. Why? Yes.
Camille Luddington
And I think that that's like. Shares some space with cheating. I agree there's a comfortability doing things that are not totally honest. And I do think that that's something that if you listen. I think if you don't do your work.
Callie
Yeah.
Camille Luddington
Then that could be something that lasts for quite a while.
Callie
Agreed.
Camille Luddington
Yep. Riley said if you have to beg for their attention, they aren't the one.
Callie
Oh, no. We're not begging you guys for anything. No way. Lena said my bestie once said, relationships are like a fart. If you. If you have to force it, it's probably.
Camille Luddington
It gets me every time. I can't be a part of this.
Callie
I'm a stuff. I wish you'd read that one, actually. Jess, we know how you feel about farts. I. I love that. I think it's simple. I think that's simple, and I agree. Can't force anything Amelia says.
Camille Luddington
No message is a message. I agree. I think that's very true.
Callie
Okay, Bridget, don't let friends or family's opinions influence you. Bridget, I. I've had some friends that have had some blinders on, and it gets tricky because you want to help. First off, you know what? Friends, unless they want advice, don't give it, because I have given unsolicited advice before in my past, and you don't.
Camille Luddington
Know if that boyfriend or girlfriend is renting or.
Jessica
They are.
Camille Luddington
They're buying, you know, so you got to be. You got to be mindful.
Callie
Yeah. You do. And you know. Yeah. Yeah. It's a tricky situation. Although sometimes your friends. The truth is, sometimes your friends and family see things that you don't see, and that's the truth.
Camille Luddington
Laura says, do you like him or the idea of him? This has helped me so many times. Oh, that's a good one.
Callie
That's a good one.
Camille Luddington
Yeah. It's like, do you like him in real life or you like him on paper?
Callie
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Camille Luddington
Yep.
Callie
Larissa, maintain your individuality and keep the romance alive. I think it's a death trap when you become that person, becomes your identity. I've seen it happen, Jess. You've seen this happen?
Camille Luddington
Oh, for sure.
Callie
That person's like, Suddenly you're like, who. Where'd my friend go?
Camille Luddington
Yeah. Sucks. Yep.
Callie
Okay.
Camille Luddington
Michelle has a. This is a very specific one. If there were two steaks on a plate, would he take the better one or give it to you?
Callie
That's really. I like that. It's kind of like. You know, it reminds me of when I said this to Matt this morning because he made two cups of coffee. He took a sip. He knows how I like my coffee. He goes. And he gave it to me, and then he took the sip of the other one. He goes, wait, this one's better. You can have it. And I was like, oh. And he does stuff like that all the time, and it reminds me of the scene always in the Wedding Singer when he doesn't give her the window seat, he gives her the aisle seat, and she keeps getting her. Her arm bumped by the cart that goes by. Do you remember this? She talks about, like, how if you get. Yes, he takes the better seat.
Camille Luddington
That's so sweet. I'm still on sweet Matt.
Callie
Yeah. He does c. Things like that. He gives me the better cup of coffee, and I said, no, baby, you keep that cup because I love him big. Okay, Tatum. Oh, I like this One if you wouldn't let your daughters go through it. Don't let yourself.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like you've given me that advice sometimes in a different way where you're like, think about baby Jess.
Callie
I know we've talked about baby Jess. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Camille Luddington
I love that. I think we should end on that one. I like caretaking of our little selves. Of our smaller selves.
Callie
Yeah. Because you might not have a daughter yet. You might be in your 20s. Yeah.
Camille Luddington
But just pretend like you did. Pretend like you're your own daughter. Pretend like you matter more than anyone in the world and that you want to protect and take care of yourself.
Callie
Well, we got out. We've talked about being the cheerleader for yourself. Your. You need to be your. Your number one fan for you.
Camille Luddington
Yep.
Callie
You gotta do it.
Camille Luddington
Sure do.
Callie
I love this.
Camille Luddington
It helps if you have other fans too, but yes.
Callie
I mean, yeah, yeah, of course, of course. But sometimes.
Camille Luddington
Yeah, yeah.
Callie
I love it, you guys. I love all of these. I'm gonna take some of these.
Camille Luddington
Best relationship advice. Well, I think I'm gonna actually now I'm gonna also. I love when we do these. And then I hear more that next week I'll be like out in the world. And I'll hear someone.
Callie
Yeah, relationship advice.
Camille Luddington
I'll be like, oh, yeah, that's a good one.
Callie
Exactly. And then we can bring it back to the pod. All right, everyone, thank you for listening and we will call this the end of the episode.
Cheryl
Foreign.
Jessica
Did you know that future health can help make weight loss resolutions come true? When it's about biology and not willpower, it's not your fault that the dieting just doesn't work.
Camille Luddington
Find out if weight loss meds are.
Jessica
Right for you in just three minutes and for less than $3 a day. Eight out of 10 users say that using the Future Health program is more effective than anything they have ever tried.
Cheryl
Feeling good is so important and no matter what you do to be healthy, lose weight. Now we get to utilize science and everyone wins. They give millions of people affordable access to weight loss meds for less than $3 a day. Just take their quick 3 minute survey from there. If approved by a clinician, you'll get prescribed and get meds delivered to your door within 24 hours.
Jessica
Find out if weight loss meds are right for you in just 3 minutes at try FH.com try FH.com try Fh.com future health is not a health care services provider. Meds are prescribed at providers discretion. Results may vary.
Camille Luddington
Sponsored by Future Health Cheap Caribbean is celebrating more than just the new year in 2025. Cheap Caribbean Vacations is celebrating its 25th birthday too. You're invited to join in on the birthday fund and book a beach vacay with more savings. Now through February 3rd, you can unlock up to $250 off site wide vacation packages. Celebrate these AW savings at your favorite beach and book your next all inclusive vacay@cheapcaribbean.com your $250 off is waiting.
Capshaw
Clorox Sentiva smells like grapefruit.
Callie
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Matt
News as directed this message comes from Greenlight. Ready to start talking to your kids about financial literacy? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app that teaches kids and teens how to earn, save, spend wisely and invest with your guardrails in place. With Greenlight, you can send money to kids quickly, set up chores, automate allowance, and keep an eye on what your kids are spending with real time notifications. Join millions of parents and kids building healthy financial habits together on Greenlight. Get started risk free@greenlight.com iheartra.
Podcast: Call It What It Is
Host/Authors: Jessica Capshaw & Camilla Luddington
Release Date: January 23, 2025
Duration: Approximately 22 minutes
In the episode titled "Just Order The Steak," hosts Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington delve into the realm of relationship advice, distinguishing between helpful guidance and detrimental tips they've received over the years. The conversation intertwines personal anecdotes, listener-submitted advice, and insightful reflections on maintaining healthy relationships.
[02:50 - 09:00]
Jessica and Camilla kick off the discussion by sharing their experiences with both beneficial and misguided relationship advice. They emphasize the importance of discerning which advice to follow based on personal experiences.
Camilla: "The worst advice... like, the pressure to be hard to get... really messed with my head when I was dating." [03:32]
Jessica: Highlights the commonality of certain advice among young people, questioning its validity and long-term effects. [04:16]
Key Points:
[05:00 - 12:00]
Both hosts share personal stories illustrating how they've evolved in their approach to relationships.
Jessica: Recounts being overly meticulous in early relationships, always appearing "red carpet ready" to impress, which often left her feeling inauthentic. [05:22]
Camilla: Discusses her competitive nature from middle school debate, translating that into her professional and personal life by always arguing both sides to understand different perspectives. [10:02]
Notable Quotes:
Camilla: "I loved trying to see it from someone else's point of view. It made me understand the other side a lot more." [10:48]
Jessica: Reflects on the importance of self-awareness and growth, moving away from past behaviors that no longer serve her. [07:38]
Key Points:
[14:47 - 21:56]
The hosts present and discuss various pieces of relationship advice submitted by their listeners, providing their own takes and validations.
Communication and Understanding:
Putting Issues on Paper:
Effort and Reciprocity:
Evaluating Relationships:
Maintaining Individuality:
Acts of Kindness:
Notable Quotes:
Key Points:
[21:53 - 22:19]
Jessica and Camilla wrap up the episode by reinforcing the importance of self-care and being one's own biggest supporter.
Camilla: Encourages treating oneself with the same care and attention as one would a child. [21:41]
Jessica: Emphasizes the necessity of being a cheerleader for oneself to cultivate a healthy relationship. [22:12]
Key Points:
"Just Order The Steak" offers a candid and heartfelt exploration of relationship dynamics, blending personal experiences with practical advice. Jessica and Camilla's authentic conversation serves as a valuable resource for listeners navigating the complexities of love and partnership, encouraging them to seek authenticity, mutual respect, and continuous self-improvement in their relationships.
Notable Quotes Summary:
This summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, providing insights and key moments to give both regular listeners and newcomers a comprehensive overview of the discussion.