Call It Short & Sweet: Pushover Parenting, Tough Love, and FAFO!

Summary

Call It What It Is Hosted by iHeartPodcasts

Episode: Call It Short & Sweet: Pushover Parenting, Tough Love, and FAFO!
Release Date: August 11, 2025

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Overview

In this engaging episode of Call It What It Is, hosts Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington delve into the nuanced world of parenting styles, specifically exploring the spectrum between pushover parenting, tough love, and the controversial FAFO ("Fuck Around and Find Out") approach. Joined by their co-host Matt, the trio shares personal anecdotes, debates the effectiveness of different disciplinary strategies, and offers insights into maintaining balance and patience in parenting.

Parenting Styles Explored

Gentle Parenting vs. FAFO

Jessica and Ashley (Camilla Luddington) initiate the discussion by contrasting gentle parenting with the FAFO approach. Gentle parenting emphasizes empathy, understanding, and nurturing, while FAFO leans towards setting firm boundaries and allowing children to experience the consequences of their actions.

• Jessica's Perspective:
  "I think we're 95% gentle parenting." [05:02]

• Ashley’s Insight:
  "I'm a sensitive parent, so if I get too groundy, I just feel bad if I'm too..." leading into her confession of leaning more towards gentle parenting despite the FAFO concept. [05:55]

Anecdotes and Real-Life Applications

The Hose Incident

Jessica recounts a moment where her child, Lucas, was being teased by his sibling, Hayden, who was slashing him with a hose. Instead of opting for traditional gentle responses, Jessica employed a sudden "splash tsunami" to shock Hayden into understanding the impact of her actions.

• "I decided I wasn't gonna be like, 'How does the slashing make your brother feel?' Instead, I did a little splash tsunami." [06:03]
• However, the outcome wasn't as intended, with Hayden reacting by labeling Jessica a bad mom.
  "She was more like, 'I can't believe you splashed me.'" [07:05]

Ashley's 19th Birthday Lesson

Ashley shares a pivotal experience from her late teens where her parents enforced consequences after she overindulged in alcohol on her birthday. Despite attempting subtle disciplinary measures, the situation escalated, teaching Ashley the importance of clear boundaries.

• "My dad took me on a golf trip, and I puked outside the window. He turned back and came home, and that was the lesson." [09:09]

Effectiveness of FAFO

The hosts discuss the potential and pitfalls of the FAFO approach, acknowledging that while it can be effective in certain scenarios, it may not always yield the desired results due to the complexities of children's emotions and behaviors.

• "FAFO didn't really work because instead of understanding, she sided against me." [07:40]
• "There are many scenarios and kids that FAFO will not work because there are so many more elements and feelings." [07:20]

Challenges in Gentle Parenting

Both Jessica and Ashley express the emotional toll of maintaining a gentle parenting style, highlighting feelings of guilt and exhaustion.

• "I just feel bad if I'm too [firm]. So much parent guilt." [05:10]
• Discussing the difficulties of balancing firmness with empathy, they recognize the importance of patience and self-care to sustain their parenting approach.

Navigating Family Dynamics During Summer

The conversation shifts to the practical challenges of parenting during summer, such as lack of structure and the absence of external childcare. Jessica and Ashley share humorous yet relatable stories about their children's toy naming disputes and conflicts at restaurants.

• Toy Naming Chaos:
  "Naming toys this summer has been explosive." [15:54]

• Restaurant Conflicts:
  "Before you even order, it's like you're putting out fires before you order." [16:47]

Maintaining Balance and Self-Care

Recognizing the importance of self-care, the hosts emphasize the necessity of taking breaks to prevent burnout and maintain a healthy family dynamic.

• "We've been trying to be more conscious... one of us leaves for an hour to go work out." [24:14]
• "Giving that hour to decompress is very important." [25:07]

Conclusion and Future Outlook

As the episode wraps up, Jessica and Ashley reflect on their current parenting strategies, contemplating whether to incorporate more FAFO techniques. While acknowledging the occasional success of FAFO, they express a preference for their predominantly gentle approach, tempered with occasional firm boundaries.

• "Are you going to be implementing in our family more FAFO? I don't think so." [25:42]

Notable Quotes

• "FAFO is the most opposite of gentle parenting." — Ashley [04:25]
• "I've got you's and urgent 'I'm coming overs'..." — Jessica [Description]
• "We throw out really good names like Taylee, Cutie, Flussy to defuse the fight." — Jessica [15:37]
• "Even when you're exhausted, it's hard not to be lenient." — Ashley [24:31]

Key Takeaways

• Balance is Crucial: Finding a middle ground between being overly lenient and too strict can lead to more effective parenting.

• Context Matters: The effectiveness of a parenting strategy like FAFO depends on the child's age, personality, and the specific situation.

• Self-Care is Non-Negotiable: Parents need to prioritize their own mental and emotional well-being to maintain patience and effectiveness in their parenting roles.

• Open Communication: Encouraging honest dialogue with children about their feelings and actions fosters understanding and respect.

Final Thoughts

Call It What It Is offers a heartfelt and honest exploration of the challenges and triumphs in modern parenting. Through personal stories and candid conversations, Jessica, Camilla, and Matt provide valuable perspectives for parents navigating the complex landscape of raising children in today's world.

Transcript

[Jessica]

This is an iHeart podcast.

[Ice Cube]

Ice Cube's Big Three is the surprise hit of the summer this Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS, with playoff elimination on the line. The most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs, and breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. There's no crying in the big three, and the no holds barred action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific. Presented by iHeart.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway, now through August 12th. Get big savings on your favorite products for the little ones in the family and earn four times points to use for discounts on groceries or on gas. Shop in store or online for items like Earth's Best Yogurt Smoothie, Gerber Pouches, Happy Baby Pouches, Huggies, Natural Baby Wipes, Pedia Shore Bottles, Earth's Best Crunchy Sticks and Gerber Yogurt Melts, snacks and earn 4 times points. Offer ends August 12th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Josh Clark]

The Stuff youf Should Know Guys have made their own summer playlist of their Must Listen podcasts on movies.

[Josh]

It's me, Josh, and I'd like to welcome you to the Stuff youf Should Know Summer Movie Playlist. What screams summer more than a nice darkened air conditioned theater and a great movie playing right in front of you?

[Josh Clark]

Episodes on James Bond, special effects, stunt men and women, disaster films, even movies that change filmmaking and many more. Listen to the Stuff youf Should Know Summer Movie Playlist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Dana Schwartz]

In 1920, a magazine article announced something incredible. Two young girls had photographed real fairies. But even more incredible, that article was written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the man who invented Sherlock Holmes. How did he fall for that? Hoax is a new podcast for me, Dana Schwartz, the host of Noble Blood, and me, Lizzy Logan. Every episode we'll explore one of the most audacious and ambitious tricks in history and try to answer the question why we believe what we believe. Listen to hoax on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jessica]

Call it what It Is with Jessica.

[Camille Luddington]

Capshaw and Camille Luddington and iHeartRadio podcast.

[Matt]

Hello, hello, hello, Call It Crew, and welcome to another episode of Short and Sweet and I know what you're thinking short and sweet. It's not the right day. We usually have these air midweek, but we're switching things up. And the reason is, is because I have a very special doctor who specializes in Hashimoto's and she is going to be recording with me midweek. And so we will air that midweek. So today you guys are getting treated to a little short sweet with a guest.

[Ashley]

Guess who is chasing us back. Last night, Kamila begged me.

[Jessica]

Oh, please.

[Ashley]

To join the pod today.

[Jessica]

Oh, please give me a.

[Ashley]

So I moved a few things around and I'm here to help.

[Jessica]

You are here to help. Well, we thought we would bring Matt in for a very special episode because Ashley, you're the one that sent me this article.

[Ashley]

Yes.

[Jessica]

Okay. And it was an article about the new style of parenting, which is the total opposite of what gentle parenting is.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And at first I thought it was a joke.

[Jessica]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ashley]

And then I started down the rabbit hole and realized it's an entire movement of sorts.

[Jessica]

Yeah. What did you want to tell Announce to the crew what the new parenting movement is?

[Ashley]

Oh, f a F O around and find out.

[Ice Cube]

Right.

[Jessica]

I know you're like, it's the most. I'm just like, it's a grand finale. Parenting.

[Ashley]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jessica]

So this kind of parenting style is. The article that we read was about a woman and I believe that her son was splashing her with a hoe.

[Ashley]

He was being rather obnoxious.

[Jessica]

I believe he sound like he's being obnoxious. He was slashing her with her hose. And then instead of being like, penny, for the eighth time, let's not do like, how are your feelings about the ho.

[Ashley]

Like I said, making other people.

[Jessica]

Yeah. She just shoved him into a pond.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

And it like really shocked him. Little crap. Find out. But he learned the lesson.

[Ashley]

And that's been the debate of whether this is maybe a new approach.

[Jessica]

And it could be a positive approach.

[Ashley]

I think that's why we're here.

[Jessica]

That's why we're here. Do you think that we do around a find out parenting or gentle parenting?

[Ashley]

I think we're closer on the gentle side. To be honest.

[Jessica]

I think we're. I think we're 95% gentle parenting.

[Ashley]

I'm a sensitive parent, so if I get too groundy, then feel sensitive parent. I just feel bad if I. If I'm too.

[Jessica]

Oh, you have a lot of guilt.

[Ashley]

Like so much parent guilt.

[Jessica]

So much.

[Ashley]

It's hard for me to be like hardcore around and find out. I think.

[Jessica]

Yeah. Your around. And find out is. And then I find out how guilty I feel after.

[Ashley]

Exactly.

[Jessica]

Okay, Done. All right. So we have been asked some questions by the crew on this subject and we're gonna. We're gonna dive into our parenting style and we're gonna reveal some how it goes down in our household.

[Ashley]

I think I'm gonna learn a few things. Maybe.

[Jessica]

Maybe from me.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Yeah. You'll please learn from me.

[Ashley]

Okay, let's find out.

[Jessica]

Okay. What were recent moments with your kids when you thought, you know what? You're going to have to find out the hard way? Well, we're out of find out way. What's it?

[Ashley]

I.

[Jessica]

Because I know a moment that is a little bit similar to what the lady in the article.

[Ashley]

Yeah. She.

[Jessica]

Hayden was flashing Lucas, our little one, and it was really bugging him and she wouldn't stop. And so I just basically tsunami her with a splash. It was a little bit of a tsunami because I had said to her, by the way, let me preface this. I had said to her, stop slashing your brother. She had not. She probably said it completely at 4, 20 times. I decided I wasn't gonna be like, and how does the slashing make your brother feel? Because she knew it was annoying him. And so I did a little splash tsunami. And then. But the funny thing is because we are quote unquote, gentle herons. Yeah. She was shocked.

[Ashley]

It was total. Yeah. She was speechless.

[Jessica]

But here's why I don't think it worked. In that moment, instead of her turning around and being like, oh my God, now I know how the splash feels. She was like. It became about, you're a really bad mom. You're a bad mom.

[Ashley]

Shame on you.

[Jessica]

I can't believe you've splashed.

[Ashley]

I think that's the problem is that if you had a. In many cases and scenarios that will work. But there are many scenarios and kids that around and find out will not work because there are so many more.

[Jessica]

Yes.

[Ashley]

Elements and feelings.

[Jessica]

And it's more nuance.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

Maybe it's a little part of trying to find out is crown and find out if your kid will turn it around on you. And then you're around and found out.

[Ashley]

On if everyone keeps around. We're all basically is what I'm learning.

[Jessica]

Yeah. That didn't really work. Like I was hoping that she'd be. I would shock her into not doing it. Instead she was more like, I can't believe you. An innocent child. The parenting takes more work. It would have been really easy to slash her like right off the bat.

[Ashley]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jessica]

Okay. The gut reaction to hearing about the mom who threw her kid in the pond after he sprayed her. I do think that. I think he was old enough. It sounds like he was like 12.

[Ashley]

I think age is a good.

[Jessica]

Yeah, I think that he got it. Do you know what I mean? He got the. Less.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

So I was like, I worked. Okay.

[Ice Cube]

Age.

[Ashley]

On the age thing. I think it does matter because my parents were very fair and gentle and loving parents. I do remember one time it wasn't a around and find out woman. It was more of a. You're a teen.

[Jessica]

No, this was.

[Ashley]

You know where I'm going.

[Jessica]

Let's start with this. Okay. This is a great example because I think our parents are of the generation of random plan.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

And this is. You have a childhood example of master unfound out. So why don't you tell the story.

[Ashley]

I was 19 or my 19th birthday and my parents had a whole day and morning planned the next day after my birthday that we were going to spend the day together. So the night of my birthday I went out with some friends and I was turning 19 and we went a little overboard with the alcohol and I.

[Jessica]

Got, by the way, that's illegal.

[Ashley]

That is illegal. And I got faced that night and I came home that morning embarrassingly hungover. Hungover, still drunk. And my parents were onto it and they made a point to cook breakfast that smelled amazing but awful at the same time.

[Jessica]

Were they cooking? They were cooking a breakfast knowing that it would make you want to puke a little bit.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And then they. My dad went ahead and took me on the golf trip that we were going to go on that morning. You know, to take me golfing.

[Ice Cube]

No.

[Ashley]

We got halfway down the road and then I puked outside the window. And then he turned back and came home. And that was the lesson.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Was you had plans today and you are wrong.

[Jessica]

Okay. Most ridiculous consequence you've handed out in a moment of all out frustration. Most ridiculous consequence we talked about this morning a little bit like the stuff that comes out of our mouths as parents.

[Ashley]

When I hear some of the reference that I'm saying my kids, I just, I'm like, what are you saying? What?

[Jessica]

It's embarrassing. Yeah. Like these are. I would say it's like this, like ridiculous consequences in our house goes on like this. Okay, guess what? You can't be a robot for the rest of the day.

[Ashley]

We're not going to make Roblox tomorrow. If you do it again or.

[Jessica]

Yeah, like it's not. It's just we sound yeah, sounds ridiculous.

[Ice Cube]

The reviews and ratings are in and Ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line, the spot stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win over Houston to make the playoffs, reeling from last week's savage beating at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez Harrow. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston, but they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Will LA avenge their previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals to survive? Six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the Big Three, the three on three basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the big three and the no hold spot action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific, followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 Eastern. Presented by iHeart.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through August 12th. Get great savings on your favorite self care items and earn four time points when you shop in store or online. Shop for items like Neutrogena Cleansing and Makeup, removing towelettes, Dove Men 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner, Dove Shampoo, Tresemme Shampoo, Method Body Wash and Suave Body wash and earn 4 times points. Use these points for discounts on groceries or gas. Offer ends August 12th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Camille Luddington]

Want to perform at the legendary I Heart Theater this fall? This is your moment.

[Matt]

TikTok Live and iHeartRadio present. Next up Live Music, a nationwide search for the next wave of original music artists.

[Camille Luddington]

All you need to do is go live on TikTok and post a video performance of your own original song using hashtag NextUpLiveMusic.

[Matt]

Auditions are open now through August 11, so don't wait.

[Camille Luddington]

You could hit the final Stage at the iHeart Theater in Los Angeles this fall and even get your track heard on the radio.

[Matt]

And if you win, you'll be nominated for Live Creator of the Year.

[Camille Luddington]

So whether you're a singer, rapper, solo artist or duet, this is your shot.

[Matt]

Go on TikTok now and post with NextUpLiveMusic before August 11th. Again, that's hashtag NextUpLiveMusic only on TikTok.

[Az Fudd]

Hey guys, it's Az Fudd. You may know me as a gold medalist. You may know me as an NCAA national champion and recent most outstanding player. You may even know me as a people's princess. But you're also going to know me as your favorite host. Every week on my new podcast, Fut around and Find Out, I'll give you an inside look at everything happening in my crazy life as I try to balance it all, from my travels across the globe to preparing for another run at the natty with my UConn Huskies, to just trying to make it to my midterms on time. You'll get the inside scoop on everything. I'll be talking to some special guests about pop culture basketball and what it's like to be a professional athlete on and off the court. You'll even get to have some fun with the Fudd family. So if you follow me on social media or watch me on tv, you may think you know me, but this show is the only place where you can really fud around and find out. Listen to fud around and find out. A production of iHeart Women's Sports in partnership with Unanimous Media on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Jessica]

Okay. Has parenting the kids during summer been harder with the lack of structure? Any stories? First of all, I don't know if you guys know this, but Matt and I have had our family lives far away. Matt and I have not had. We don't have any childcare, and we have not. Our kids go to a preschool in our school, but we have not had any extra child care for almost a year and a half. The big argument of the summer right now is naming toys, man.

[Ashley]

I. It's you guys when it's gone, but, man, it's annoying.

[Jessica]

You're not gonna miss this one. This is what we're having to deal with during the summer. In the summer, when our kids get a toy, we always actually. You know what? In this moment, I just realized it's on us, dude.

[Ashley]

We keep asking, yeah, what's the tool? I'm trying to build creativity in that moment and some pride.

[Jessica]

Yeah, but she always poking the bear.

[Ashley]

Exactly.

[Jessica]

Okay, so what we do is we always go, what's the name? And then Hayden will be like, the names of, like, an elephant toy that they both have each one. Elephant tea. And then Lucas will go, elephant. And Hayden will be like, no, that much. The fact that they both have the.

[Ashley]

Same name and it's a name like elephanty.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

Seriously, no one's Arguing over Grunky or.

[Jessica]

Giant, by the way, we throw out to defuse the fight. We throw out really good names. We're like, what, Taylee, Cutie, Flussy? They would probably love a Bob.

[Ashley]

I think Bob. The only.

[Jessica]

We have a pronoun.

[Ashley]

A Bob.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

No, whatever. The. Whoever thinks of the first name. That's the one. That's the.

[Jessica]

And that causes a fight all the time. Naming toys this summer has been explosive. Has there been a time when you went to dinner with another family and kids left thinking, I actually can't think of a time that I've been to dinner with someone else's kids and thought, what just happened? I can definitely think of times I've been to dinner with our kids and think, what just happened.

[Ashley]

Not often, but I do feel like sometimes a button or a switch goes off and they just both start mouth.

[Jessica]

What is the very first thing when we walk into a restaurant that can start a fight? Okay, we see the table. Let's say it. I'm going to give you the. I'm going to set this up. It's a round table, four chairs. Knowing our children, what is the fight that's going to happen?

[Ashley]

One of those chairs is the best.

[Jessica]

Yes.

[Ashley]

Chair at that table.

[Jessica]

100%. One of those chairs. And they all look the same. Is the chair.

[Ashley]

Yeah. And whoever decides that first.

[Jessica]

Yes.

[Ashley]

The other one is. It was the chair.

[Jessica]

And that. That. And then the chair fight happens and that. And then we. And then it goes downhill from there.

[Ashley]

Yeah. Before you even order, it's like you're putting out fires before you order. And then you get 10 minutes of sailing.

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

And then if the food's not getting there fast enough, it starts to also.

[Jessica]

This. We love this. It's like a butter pasta for a kid is like a sure thing. And it's like the butter pasta will come and they'll be like, that's not the shape of the pasta I like.

[Ashley]

Yeah, that is actually. I think that's a good example of a minimal around and find out moment that I think you can take the reins and.

[Jessica]

Yeah, but we do a little bit. We're like, eat your food.

[Ice Cube]

The reviews and ratings are in, and ice Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS. With playoff elimination on the line, the stars will be flocking to Los Angeles to witness the most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win over Houston to make the playoffs. Reeling from last week's savage beating at the hands of Chicago's possessed Montrez Herrero. Last time these teams met, Miami beat Houston, but they are a dangerous team having their manhood at stake. Then breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do or die match for both teams. Will LA avenge their previous shocking loss to perennial basketball Boston rivals To survive, six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. Don't miss the Big Three, the three on three basketball league everyone is talking about. There's no crying in the big three and the no hold sport action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific, followed by two games on Vice starting at 6:30 Eastern. Presented by iHeart.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and safeway now through August 12th. Get big savings on your favorite products for the little ones in the family and earn four times points to use for discounts on groceries or on gas. Shop in store or online for items like Earth's Best Yogurt Smoothie, Gerber Pouches, Happy Baby Pouches, Huggies, Natural Baby Wipes, Pedia Shore Bottles, Earth's Best Crunchy Sticks and Gerber Yogurt melts, snacks and 4 times points. Offer ends August 12th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Camille Luddington]

Want to perform at the legendary I Heart Theater this fall? This is your moment.

[Matt]

Tick Tock Live and iheartradio present Next up Live Music, A nationwide search for the next wave of original music artists.

[Camille Luddington]

All you need to do is go live on Tick Tock and post a video performance of your own original song using hashtag NextUpLiveMusic.

[Matt]

Auditions are open now through August 11, so don't wait.

[Camille Luddington]

You could hit the final Stage at the iHeart Theater in Los Angeles this fall and even get your track heard on the radio.

[Matt]

And if you win, you'll be nominated for Live Creator of the Year.

[Camille Luddington]

So whether you're a singer, rapper, solo artist or duet, this is your shot.

[Matt]

Go on TikTok now and post with NextUpLiveMusic before August 11th. Again, that's next up live music only on TikTok.

[Az Fudd]

Hey guys, it's Az Fudd. You may know me as a gold medalist, you may know me as an NCAA National Champion and recent Most Outstanding Player. You may even know me as a people's princess. But now you're also going to know me as your favorite host. Every week on my new podcast, Fut around and Find Out, I'll give you an inside look at everything Happening in my crazy life as I try to balance it all, from my travels across the globe to preparing for another run at the natty with my UConn Huskies, to just trying to make it to my midterms on time. You'll get the inside scoop on everything. I'll be talking to some special guests about pop culture, basketball and what it's like to be a professional athlete on and off the court. You'll even get to have some fun with the Fudd family. So if you follow me on social media or watch me on tv, you may think you know me, but this show is the only place where you can really fudd around and find out. Listen to Fudd around and find out. A production of I heart Women's sports in partnership with Unanimous media on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Jessica]

Okay, is one of you the good cop and the other the bad cop? Oh, wow. The silence. I think we both know the answer a little bit to that. Am I the fun parent?

[Ashley]

You are the more fun one, but you're also the one that.

[Jessica]

What, I'm a liability?

[Ashley]

A little bit.

[Jessica]

What?

[Ashley]

They know they're. They know they're gonna get, you know what the wants if they go to mom.

[Jessica]

Okay, wait, hang on. Yes, this is true. We only just discovered this. Except explain why we were out shopping.

[Ashley]

Yes. And especially at this age, they just want something from everywhere.

[Jessica]

Yeah, it is.

[Ashley]

And I have no problem saying, not today, guys. Or maybe later. But they won't come to me. They'll go to mom first because they'll know. They know they'll get more of a chance.

[Jessica]

I have a little more of a pushover.

[Ashley]

A little more of a pushover. And then we found that out the other day when Hayden, she was with me, but she was like, I just want to go talk to mom for a second. I just want to be.

[Jessica]

Follow me into the store.

[Ashley]

Yes.

[Jessica]

And then you're like, what's the.

[Ashley]

I was like, baby, come on, just walk around with me. And I was taking personally. But then I was like, what?

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

So I said, why? You want to go see Mom?

[Jessica]

Yeah.

[Ashley]

She gave me a smirk, and she knew exactly what I was asking.

[Jessica]

Yeah. Yeah, I am. I agree. I'm more of a pushover. Okay, what is. Oh, God. I know the answer to this for myself. What's a parenting hill that you're willing to die on that you think I totally disagree with? Can I be honest? Because I know the answer for you, Ben. Okay. I know that you disagree on this, but I think that once you promise something, you have to follow through. And you are like, no can change. Which I understand.

[Ashley]

Yeah, there, there are details in this but I agree we do. We kind of butt heads on this on occasion. There are details. I think that a change is okay. But I understand that promising them something and then taking it away, it's hard.

[Jessica]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Ashley]

But I feel sometimes it's warranted. And that is a fuck around and find out parenting.

[Jessica]

Actually it is.

[Ashley]

So I'm a little more progressive. If you think about it, if the.

[Jessica]

Fuck around is the progression or is it the regression. What's one thing that you could ask me?

[Ashley]

One thing I could ask you one.

[Jessica]

Thing that you is a hill that you're willing to die on.

[Ashley]

Oh man. I feel like oftentimes the same thing. Like I, I, I think if they're, if, if they're pushing the boundaries a little bit much in that same situation, I think it's important to teach them that they've lost that privilege.

[Jessica]

Yes.

[Ashley]

But I stand back and. Because I understand both sides too. But I fact too.

[Jessica]

But these are, we are on a little bit of a different hill. Privileges. You're fat. You're revoke a privilege. Okay. Are there times you're too soft in your kids because you're really just too exhausted? Yeah, dude.

[Ashley]

That's where I think.

[Jessica]

No, I think it's how about whatever you want. How often do you need a break from your parenting duties and what do you do? A break.

[Ashley]

What's.

[Jessica]

When was the last time you took a break?

[Ashley]

Dude, you actually been really good. We've been.

[Jessica]

Oh yeah, we just did it this weekend.

[Ashley]

You, you brought up that was important to give each of us that. So we've been trying to be more conscious.

[Jessica]

We, we did. We, we tapped in and tapped out. Yeah. So one of us leaves for an hour to go work out. That's it. Really.

[Ashley]

You can become whatever we want. If I want to go sit in the car and have a cheeseburger.

[Jessica]

Go get in and out. Yeah, for sure. That's self care. And then the other one. And you know what? Then we, I agree that we're a little more, we have a little more patience and balance.

[Ashley]

I, I think especially during the summer and on the weekends, just giving that hour to decompress is very important.

[Jessica]

Okay. So let's wrap it up. But before we do, are you going to be implementing in our family more around and find out? I don't think so.

[Ashley]

I don't know. I feel like we're doing a decent job. Yeah, some days are harder than others, I think.

[Jessica]

So when the. What's it called? The S A S O is necessary. All right, guys. Thank you Matt, for joining us.

[Ashley]

You're welcome.

[Jessica]

Spilling the beans on our parenting style and and we enjoyed answering all these questions. And until next time, can you go make me a cup of coffee?

[Ashley]

You got it, boss.

[Jessica]

Thank you.

[Matt]

Let's call it the end of the episode.

[Camille Luddington]

Hey, can we talk about Plan B for a second? What exactly is it?

[Matt]

Okay, Plan B is emergency contraception you take after unprotected sex. Think of it as backup birth control. It works by temporarily delaying ovulation to help prevent pregnancy before it starts.

[Camille Luddington]

And it's available right off the shelf.

[Jessica]

Yep.

[Matt]

It's at all major retailers in all 50 US states. No prescription ID or age requirement.

[Camille Luddington]

Ah. Together we've got this.

[Matt]

Follow Plan B on insta at Plan B one step use as directed Ice.

[Ice Cube]

Cube's big three is the surprise hit of the summer. This Saturday, 4pm Eastern on CBS with playoff elimination on the line. The most physical, fiercest and competitive basketball in the world. Miami's Michael Beasley and Lance Stevenson must win to make the playoffs, and breakout star Dwight Howard of the LA Riot will battle Gary Payton's Boston squad in a do a die match for both teams. Six teams are allowed for four spots and all must win. There's no crying in the big three, and the no holds barred action starts Saturday at 4pm Eastern, 1pm Pacific. Presented by iHeart.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest for Albertsons and Safeway now through August 12th. Get big savings on your favorite products for the little ones in the family and earn four times points to use for discounts on groceries or on gas. Shop in store or online for items like Earth's Best Yogurt Smoothie, Gerber Pouches, Happy Baby Pouches, Huggies, Natural Baby Wipes, Pedia Shore Bottles, Earth's Best Crunchy Sticks and Gerber Yogurt Melts snacks and earn 4 times points. Offer ends August 12th. Restrictions apply. Offers may vary. Visit albertsons or safeway.com for more details.

[Josh Clark]

The stuff you should know guys have made their own summer playlists of their must listen podcasts on movies.

[Josh]

It's me, Josh, and I'd like to welcome you to the stage. Stuff youf Should Know Summer Movie Playlist. What screams summer more than a nice darkened air conditioned theater and a great movie playing right in front of you?

[Josh Clark]

Episodes on James Bond, special effects, stunt men and women, disaster films, even movies that change filmmaking and many more. Listen to the Stuff youf Should Know Summer Movie Playlist on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Jessica]

This is an iHeart podcast.