Call It with Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple

Summary

Call It What It Is – Episode Summary: Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple Discuss Their Golden Bachelor Experience

Title: Call It What It Is
Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
Episode: Call It with Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple
Release Date: December 12, 2024

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Introduction

In this special episode of "Call It What It Is," hosts Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington dive deep into the intricate dynamics of reality television friendships and romances with Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple, stars from the recent season of "The Golden Bachelor." The conversation offers an insider’s perspective on navigating love, competition, and authenticity within the high-stakes environment of reality TV.

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Navigating Reality TV Dynamics

Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple share their unique experiences being part of "The Golden Bachelor," emphasizing the balance between genuine connections and the competitive nature of the show.

Joan Vassos reflects on her initial optimism and cautious approach:

"I believe that [falling in love on television] could happen. I wasn't sure it could happen for me, so I went in, maybe a little skeptical, but hopeful because I do believe in the process."
[05:34]

She highlights the contrast between early seasons of bachelor shows, which felt more authentic, and the newer iterations where fame and influence play a larger role:

"The original kind of Bachelor, like Trista and Ben in those earlier seasons, were really real. And so I believe they're still married, right?"
[07:55]

Authenticity Versus Production

The discussion delves into how production and editing influence the portrayal of contestants. Joan points out subtle manipulations that can create misconceptions about participants:

"I felt like his edit was good. I don't see anything that happens in the mansion... My interactions with him were way different than what you [the audience] saw."
[10:22]

She also touches on strategic behaviors encouraged or necessitated by the show's format, such as maintaining appearances and managing competition:

"There really wasn't a lot of competition... People are older, not trying to be influencers. It may happen to some people."
[07:30]

Building Genuine Connections

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the authenticity of the relationships formed on the show. Joan and Chock discuss how genuine their connection is, contrasting it with typical reality TV narratives:

"We are so comfortable with each other. It feels like you've known each other for like 10 years. It feels crazy."
[57:22]

Joan emphasizes the importance of emotional intimacy over physical displays, especially given her background and personal preferences:

"I do not do, like, public displays of affection. It's just, I don't like it."
[27:03]

Challenges and Strategies

The couple discusses the challenges of maintaining a relationship within the show's framework, including managing personal boundaries and external perceptions.

Joan shares her strategy of not rushing into deep connections to allow relationships to develop organically:

"I was trying to establish other connections because I didn't want to go in, get to week four, it's just not long enough."
[08:34]

They also talk about handling the pressure of being in the public eye and the impact on personal relationships:

"My kids were worried about me going on the show... It was scary for me, but it was scary for my kids, too."
[44:44]

Personal Growth and Future Plans

Post-show, Joan and Chock discuss their plans to build a life together outside of the reality TV spotlight. They emphasize the importance of taking time to breathe and enjoy their newfound relationship without the constant presence of cameras:

"We're working on finding a place in New York, spending time with family and friends... Hopefully, we may find a place."
[51:39]

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Joan Vassos:
  "I believe that [falling in love on television] could happen. I wasn't sure it could happen for me, so I went in, maybe a little skeptical, but hopeful because I do believe in the process."
  [05:34]

• Joan Vassos:
  "The original kind of Bachelor, like Trista and Ben in those earlier seasons, were really real. And so I believe they're still married, right?"
  [07:55]

• Joan Vassos:
  "I do not do, like, public displays of affection. It's just, I don't like it."
  [27:03]

• Chock Chapple:
  "We're so comfortable with each other. It feels like you've known each other for like 10 years. It feels crazy."
  [57:22]

• Joan Vassos:
  "I'm not going to do fantasy suites... I want it to be shown that you don't have to do fantasy suites. You can have emotional intimacy and have important conversations without the physical element."
  [33:38]

Conclusion

This episode of "Call It What It Is" offers a heartfelt and insightful exploration into the realities of forming genuine relationships within the constructed environment of reality television. Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple provide listeners with an authentic look at their journey, highlighting the importance of honesty, emotional connection, and personal growth amidst the pressures of fame and competition.

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Note: This summary excludes all advertisement segments and focuses solely on the substantive content of the podcast episode.

Transcript

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[Joan]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

It is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Ludington and iHeartRadio podcast. Well, hello, hello, hello, hello.

[Host]

Call it crew. And welcome to another episode of Call it what it is.

[Jessica Capshaw]

A very special one because I'm fangirling. I'm. Okay, I'm fang. You what?

[Host]

You're fan womaning your fan lady?

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm fan coupling, yes. Is that a thing? I mean, okay, we're shipping. We're shipping. There's other voices in the room, Camila. Who are they?

[Host]

Okay, we have what I hear. I do. But we have a guy that we have a guy we have in our midst. The very first golden bachelorette and her pick of the season.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I mean, Jonah Chalk. Don't ever say we didn't get you anything for the holidays.

[Host]

I know. Seriously, we got you romance for the holidays. You guys, thank you so Much for being with us today. Were geeking out. When I told people that you guys were coming on, I got, like, a.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Lot of questions, a lot of text.

[Host]

And a lot of questions.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Host]

Yes. They wanted.

[Joan]

Intrigued.

[Host]

Are they real?

[Joan]

People keep asking us that if you're.

[Host]

Really in love, if you guys are.

[Joan]

Really in love, like, if you, like, are really a couple all the time.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay, so let's start there, because I think it's a good place to start. Okay. Because I guess my first question would be, did either of you take turns answering watch reality television before going on to a reality television show?

[Joan]

So you can answer that because his is easy.

[Host]

Did you even watch the Bachelorette or Bachelor ever?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

No. And I told the producers beforehand, I said, I haven't seen anything and not any reality TV. Maybe Survivor when it came out. 25 years.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That was a good show years ago.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

So I have no idea. One of the little jokes was, there's a golden rose in the rose ceremony room.

[Host]

Yes.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And it's encased. I had no idea what it was, what it was for. And Joan said at the end, we were done, just a couple of guys. And she goes, that's what you get at the end.

[Joan]

That's why you're here.

[Host]

That's what you want. Did you watch. Okay. Once you knew you were coming on the show, did you watch her season?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

No. I'm a reader, and I don't even have cable tv. And so I just read everything I could and.

[Host]

Okay, then there's meaning.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You read everything about her, about her.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

About her, and about a little bit about the show and a little bit about Gary, the other contestants.

[Jessica Capshaw]

What were your sources?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Just going online.

[Joan]

Good.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

But then now we all know this. How much of that's true?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes. Yes.

[Host]

Of that.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

I wanted to do it. I could have gone online, you know, could have gone and watched it, but I wanted it to just be fresh. I was looking for something new.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah. And you, I'm seeing from you, nodding. Had watched reality television before and obviously had been on another show. So I guess again, going back to, like, is it real? When you were watching as a. As an audience member, were you believing what you were seeing?

[Joan]

Yeah, I didn't really doubt it. I mean, so it was all younger seasons at the time, and certainly the beginning ones seemed more authentic than as they went along. And, like, everybody has this notion that now that it's been on for a bunch of years, a lot of people are on the show because they want to be famous. They want to be Instagram, you know, they want to be influencers. So, like, that's kind of a narrative that's going around. But the, like, original kind of Bachelor, like Trista, like, you know, Ben in those earlier seasons were really real. And so I believe they're still married, right?

[Host]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Host]

Oh, yeah, they're so married.

[Joan]

Oh, two, like, teenage kids. Oh, they're so married. Oh, like, they are, like the iconic bachelor couple. So I certainly believed it, you know, going into it, that it could happen. And I felt like our seasons, the Golden Bachelor and our season since they're so new, are way more kind of pure. They haven't been, like, there hasn't been a different narrative yet. People aren't there to become famous. We're a little older. We're not trying to be influencers. It may happen to some people.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Joan.

[Joan]

Joan, I just.

[Jessica Capshaw]

What we're backing into. Okay. So you believed that you could fall in love on television as you went into this?

[Joan]

I did. I was. I believe that it could happen. I wasn't sure it could happen for me, so I went in, maybe a little skeptical, but hopeful because, like, I do believe in the process. So they do all this vetting for you and, yeah, they kind of knew me, so I was on Golden Bachelor first. So when I came on this and the producers were starting to go through the process of casting the guys, they knew me, so they kind of knew what I was interested in, knew what I would like. And so they kind of vet them for you. So that whole, like, initial part of your dating where you're just getting to know each other, that part is kind of done for you. So the timeline. That looks really, really short. Well, you've skipped a good month or two of that's true. That you don't have to worry about. It's already all of those, you know, danger, red flag things are kind of all done.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Sports cars.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

[Joan]

Right.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We will previously reference being picked up by dates and sport cars. Sports cars. And not.

[Host]

And we're not into them. Do you feel like the show ever? Because sometimes I watch the show and I'm like, it's so obvious to me that that's not going to be the right person. Was there anyone in your group that you felt like was a plant for drama?

[Joan]

Yes.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

For drama, though.

[Joan]

For. For drama.

[Host]

Does the meme start with a P?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Who would we be talking about?

[Joan]

Possibly? Yes.

[Host]

Because I night one, night one, you're like, I just felt, like, a little too smooth. I got a little too, like, maybe the shows you want the show to be more about you.

[Joan]

Mm.

[Host]

And I'm not sure that that's a controversial thing to say because people initially had maybe felt like he didn't pass the smell test. How you say it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Joan]

So there's a lot of that. So I do agree with what you're saying now. But as I was going through the.

[Host]

Process, or was it editing? You can tell me, like, editing, like, sort of set it up that way.

[Joan]

I feel like it was pretty accurate, the editing for. Not for everybody, but for him. I felt like his edit was good. I don't see anything that happens in the mansion. I am not living there, so I don't. So all, like, the kind of funny stuff that he did, talking about all his designer stuff and not helping in the kitchen and not doing his own laundry and all that stuff, that probably would have been red flags for me, I didn't see any of that. So my interactions with him were way different than what you. So the Pascal that I got to know was not what the rest of the world was getting to know. Like, he was just one on one with me, talked about his son and raising him and talked about, you know, kind of growing up in, you know, crappy conditions and not having a very loving family and him just coming to America, not speaking English. So, like, a lot of the narrative I got from him was very different because I didn't have all that other external stuff about how he acted in the house. And, you know, all that stuff I didn't know about it. So when I then watched the season, I was like, oh, a different person. Like, he made it really far from me without me knowing so much about him.

[Host]

But this happens on the show. This is one of the things that is kind of fascinating. Did you feel like you had a good on the guys in the house?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Absolutely.

[BetterHelp Representative]

How?

[Host]

Like, day, night one, you would clock.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

It the first night, and the next morning.

[Host]

Oh, and the next morning, you gotta.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Read on all of them.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Absolutely. And I'm pretty good.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm looking in his eyes and I believe.

[Host]

Yeah, no, I believe you.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I really believe you.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Well, one of the things that came up. And again, I can ramble, but.

[Host]

No, go, go.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

The dishwasher didn't work.

[Host]

Okay.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And there's a reason it didn't work, because it brings you around the kitchen and it brings around the guys. So some guys would cook, some guys would clean, you know, do the dishes.

[Host]

Oh, you're saying on purpose.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Host]

My opinion.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Absolutely. Because I told them, I go, I'll pay to get it.

[Host]

Fixed.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And they go, well, that's not going to work. And I go, I'll pay for a new one.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And they go, no, but, you know, I think it was smart to do.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It because you don't like doing dishes.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

I do. I did them.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay. No, I'm just wondering why you already wanted to fix it.

[Host]

He's part of the community.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Exactly.

[Host]

He's part of the community.

[Joan]

It takes a village and it's been broken forever. It was broken in Gelden and Bachelor season, and there's been two other seasons.

[Host]

Oh, yeah, no, that's on.

[Joan]

They don't fix it.

[Host]

No, no, no, no. So you felt like even just from a dynamic of that in the kitchen in the morning, you could tell who was by lunch.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Absolutely.

[Joan]

It's very true.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Did you know who your real competition was?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

You know, it varied as the season went along and the filming did. I was. The guy that I was probably the most concerned about was Mark, because he's such a good man. Mark Anderson is just a solid guy. He was in there doing dishes. He was cooking. He was just a polite guy. And you sit there and you go, you know, if it was my sister, you know, and if he was my brother in law, I'd love the guy. Yeah, a little soft spoken, but he's a. He's a good man. And there was other guys, but he had come back from a date with Joan and they went on the shot and we go, bring back the fish. Because I love to. You know, that's kind of thing I want to do is butcher a fish and do all this. And he came back and he was just glowing. He goes, I just had the most fabulous date. And he goes, it was great. We played these games. And I'm sitting there going, that that's. That might be the guy and the guy, you know, I thought, guy, guy's got a lot to bring to the table. The guy guy?

[Joan]

Yeah, the guy.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

I follow him the whole time. He goes, chuck, it's going to be you and me, the final two. And, you know, that was his opinion. And I. Joan had kind of given me some hints.

[Host]

It's interesting you're saying this right now, because the people that we've spoken to felt early that it was you and the guy was not really in the.

[Jessica Capshaw]

In the running.

[Host]

Like it was. Yes, it was like very clear. There was a spark that, like, was not there for other people.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Yeah, it was over.

[Host]

But you guys can speak to that.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

It was over at Disneyland.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's what he says.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

They say it's, you know, the most magical place in the world and all that.

[Joan]

But it was so. That is true. I mean, we had an immediate spark and immunity attraction and we got along so well to the point where we were walking around Disneyland and we had a huge film crew because since it was Disney and, you know, the network is owned by Disney, they had, like, a lot of people there with us. And yes, you know, after the first maybe 30 minutes, they go, well, you know, you know, you should be looking at, like, some of the sites at Disney and making comments about that, because we were just having a great conversation. We were just like, immediately we hit it off. But I knew I had. Since I've watched the show and I see a lot of times people hone in on a person right away. They're like, this is my God. And then sometime within the season, in the first three or four weeks, they discover that they're a different person, and then they're really behind because they really haven't given real time to other people. So I was very conscious of that and I said, I am not going to hone in on somebody right away. Even though, like, I felt like this was going to be good, I felt like when I went on dates with other people, I needed to, you know, actually put the work into it that they could possibly be the person. Because I didn't want to go in, get to week four. It's just not long enough. If you get to week four and you haven't established, you know, a relationship, a bond, a connection, it's too late. So I was like, I was trying to establish other connections.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So because you had watched it and you did believe that there. That you could fall in love, you actually, I'm hearing you say that there was also kind of like a strategy. Not strategy in a bad way. Strategy. Like this is. Cause you said something else where I was like, oh, my gosh. On some level, whoever's in the house going on the date, it's like, there's a competition.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I mean, there's.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And they didn't show that. They did not show that the competition. But it was, you know, from what I understood, it was, we all got along great. There really wasn't a lot of competition. There wasn't.

[Host]

Which is not normal.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Correct.

[Host]

Some of the ladies in your season even were a little, like, hard.

[Joan]

Yeah. So that was surprising. So in the beginning, everybody's really cordial and you're getting to know each other.

[Host]

Yes.

[Joan]

And there is like a whole element of it, like, you Found your tribe. So you have been at this weird place in life in your 60s or, you know, some of the people from the golden bachelor season were in the 70s even. And you walk into a room and finally you're with people because being in your 60s and 70s and being single is a weird place to be because everybody, you know is a couple. Everybody at that age is a couple. And there's very few peers that people understand that. Like, so you go out with your girlfriends and they all go home to their husbands and you go home to an empty house and everybody goes on couple vacations and they don't invite you. And when you go to a wedding, you are the nice side into those vacations.

[Jessica Capshaw]

If you were, I'm just wait.

[Host]

What?

[Jessica Capshaw]

I feel like I'd bust in on those vacations. Yeah, I would be dming them.

[Host]

No, this is a feeling. But by the way, I feel like this is a feeling that a lot of people have.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I know.

[Joan]

I'm offering the remedies.

[Host]

Right, True.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You know, a lot of ages.

[Joan]

You're right. But particularly being, you know, at this age because, like, it's very hard to fix it. It's very hard to find. The dating at this age is not easy there. The pool of people is small, especially if you want to stay in your area, which is easier. So you walk into this mansion and there you are. Like, I was there with 20 other one people that got it. Like, they were my peers. They were the people that I could finally like, you know, they were friends that understood where I was in life. So you have this immediate bond, but then it starts to unravel a little bit. Yeah, the main comes in. So Gary comes in and some people are really interested in him, and that's when the competition starts. Other of us. And I have the feeling that I would never want him or anyone to pick me as like, like the runner upper. Like they like by default because they just didn't have any more time. I want, like, I wanted him to explore everybody in that house. I want you to go on a date with every single one of them before me. And if you find somebody great, it's not me. I would never want somebody to pick me because, you know, they hadn't, you know, they had a question in their mind.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Joan]

So. But other people, people don't always think that way. They're like, if I put in enough time, I'll make her love me or I'll make him love me.

[Host]

I know. I've seen it and it really doesn't.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. That's what I mean, the competition part of it. Because ultimately there's a prize.

[Joan]

Yep.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Right. And someone wins.

[Joan]

Yep.

[Host]

Talk. Did you go in with any strategy?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

None. I didn't know what I was doing.

[Joan]

I had no idea.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

You know what?

[Host]

It's so I feel like.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Do you feel like a winner now?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Absolutely.

[Host]

Oh, my God. Hello.

[Jessica Capshaw]

For someone with no strategy. Who wants. I mean, I'm just saying.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And I went back and looked at the contract, and the contract lists you as a contestant.

[Host]

So it tells you you are a contestant.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

You're not a cast member, you're a contestant.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And. But the guys were so polite, so professional, so friendly. We didn't look at it. We wanted the right person to be with Joan. There were a couple guys that really did care about Joan. And that's tough because I'm friends with them, but that's life.

[Host]

Are you still friends with them now or is it different Guy.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Guy in our. We talked. I talked to him last night. Absolutely.

[Joan]

Yeah. A lot of the guys, Gary, he's just like. He's friends with him.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

I've got five of them meeting me in Kansas City for a Chiefs game on Sunday.

[Host]

Stop tonight. Is Taylor gonna be there for free?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

I'm sure she. Well, she might be.

[Host]

She might be there. Yes.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Depends on where the tours are.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes, it's over this weekend.

[Host]

Okay.

[Joan]

That's right.

[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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[Joan]

Chronic Migraine is 15 or more headache.

[Botox Representative]

Days a month, each lasting four hours.

Or more Botox Onobotulinum toxin a prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine before they start. Botox is not approved for adults with migraine who have 14 or fewer headache days a month. Botox prevents on average eight to nine headache days a month versus six to seven for placebo.

Botox is a prescription medicine injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection site pain, fatigue and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions including als, Lou Gehrig's disease, myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton syndrome, and medications including botulinum toxins, as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

[Joan]

Talk to your doctor and visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox to learn more.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay, I'm wearing my Adore Me matching set and it is so soft.

[Host]

Ah, I love it. Adore Me is the first lingerie brand to offer extended sizing across a wide range of styles and categories. Whether you're looking for bra and panty sets, lingerie, PJ swimwear or activewear, they have it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They do. And you know what? I personally love how inclusive Adormi is because they offer over 67 sizes and they have comfortable undergarments that can be worn all day long.

[Host]

And they have matching sets as low as 2495. So you can feel sexy even if.

[Camilla Luddington]

You'Re on a budget.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And they drop a new seasonal collection every month. So there's always new styles to check out.

[Host]

Always. And new customers can get up to 50% off their first order.

[Jessica Capshaw]

What?

[Joan]

That's a lot.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes, I know.

[Joan]

I.

[Jessica Capshaw]

This. You know what this means? This means that you need to go to adore me.com to shop right now.

[Host]

Now.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm going there right now.

[Joan]

Yeah, obviously.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Bye.

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[Jessica Capshaw]

The dates and I was thinking about you guys walking around Disneyland and I, I mean, as actors we're very versed in doing things and pretending like a camera's not there.

[Joan]

Yep. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Did you get to the point where you could pretend a camera was not there?

[Host]

Or were you always aware it's your first season? I mean, you're, you're a little bit more seasoned in it, but for you, it's the show.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

The producers and I don't know the exact term, they did such a good job. The interviews, you can't even tell there's a tv. When they told me I was going to be on the show and there was a letter that came out that says you're not, you know, you're not a finalist. You can't say you are. That's one thing. But. So I flew out to LA and I thought they'd do some screen testing. And I'd never been behind a camera or in front of a camera. Yeah, Never had no idea. But they do a fantastic job with it. And then you just kind of, you just go with the phone.

[Host]

Do you feel intimate? I mean, because we're, we can forget the cameras in our scenes, but if a camera was on me and my husband, it would be so hard to have these intimate conversations, let alone kiss, and really be in the moment. Does it take a second to get used to that? Or are the cameras so far away that you don't really.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Even if it was close, it didn't bother me at all.

[Joan]

It didn't bother me.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

We had a kiss at Bora Bora and it was one of those ones because they go, you know, when she's thinking about someone else. And I said There isn't a woman in the world to kiss a guy like that that's thinking about someone else.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Wait, you had someone telling you one thing, like you were getting fed information about her? Like, no, there's a little bit of.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Reality because Guy was still. I didn't know that Joan, you know, had told Guy that I was the guy. So we were in Bora Bora.

[Host]

So you're like, I gotta win this. I gotta seal the deal.

[Jessica Capshaw]

But then you had the magical kiss.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Of course.

[Joan]

And then he felt good.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Is there a moment where you can say to the cameras like, nuh. Like, back it off.

[Joan]

No, no, no.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They can't do that.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

No.

[Joan]

Only in fantasy suite. So that's the whole thing about fantas fantasy suits, that you are never not on camera. Even if there isn't a camera in your face, it's in the ceiling. There's camera there. You are always, always, always being.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Except for the fantasy suite.

[Joan]

Yeah, except for the fantasy suites, which was why, like, the fantasy suite is important so on, you know, most seasons or very few bachelor bachelorettes have not done fantasy suites. In fact, I don't think any have not done it. And. And I felt really weird about fantasy suites.

[Host]

Yes.

[Joan]

First of all, I have a thing with pda.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

We could talk hours about.

[Joan]

We could talk hours about pda. We actually could. And me, like, don't touch me. We're in public. Please stop.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

It's so Audrey. I go up and kiss her and grab.

[Host]

I love a butt grab. I love a butt.

[Joan]

Like out in the middle of the hotel.

[Host]

Yes.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Did you say butt grab?

[Camilla Luddington]

Yes.

[Host]

Listen, I think she won't comment on that. I think she already did with her keep things a little spicy and juicy.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, she had a chance for spicy, sexy, juicy.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Host]

Okay, let's talk about the.

[Joan]

The fantasy fantasy.

[Host]

Sweet.

[Joan]

So I was. I didn't feel great. Well, so most of the time the cameras and I didn't even notice them. I got really super comfortable with cameras. But when, like, it came to kissing and stuff, they made me very, very uncomfortable. I do not do, like, public displays of affection. It's just, I don't like it. And I didn't come. I didn't grow up in a family that, that was particularly. We weren't a touchy feely family. So I have like, parents that just love me to death. And I always knew that and I always felt that they, my mom and dad didn't hold hands. Like, it wasn't something I knew they loved each other, but it just wasn't Their love language at all, so. And they were very affectionate to my brother and I. But, like, as a couple, that's not what I grew up with. So I'm just not that way. I'm just not, like, a touchy. I'm not always touching him, and I'm not holding hands. I don't walk down the street holding his hand. And he is a handholder. So there's all these, like, things that we have to, like. I have to figure I have to be better about because it is his love language, and I have to be conscious of that.

[Host]

Well, you meet in the middle.

[Joan]

Yeah, yeah. And he. Yeah, we're doing good. We're better. But, like, he'll come. So he stayed with me at Thanksgiving, and he'd come down in the kitchen, and my kids would be like, I have adult children. Like, my kids are, like, in their 20s and 30s. And they would say, so how'd you sleep? And he'd be like, your mom kept me up all night. Like, this is so. Oh, my God.

[Host]

For real?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Absolutely. I love that.

[Host]

Oh, my God.

[Joan]

Oh, God. He does it all the time.

[Host]

I want to get back to Fantasy Suites, but let's talk about the kiss that you did. Straight up with the kids there. You went in for a smooth.

[Joan]

Couldn't believe you did that on the.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So.

[Host]

So let's talk about that, because now. Now we know that, like, it's not your M.O. and you're like, how did that go down?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Well, actually, it happened before, but you never saw it on the tv. On the show is in the hometowns. Because I had. And they told me it's probably the biggest group they've ever had. And we had over 30 family and friends of mine there. And so when we walked up, I was holding Joan's hand, and I gave her a kiss in front of everybody. And it was probably a little selfish, but I wanted him to know that I cared about this person being Joan.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And I thought it was a great introduction. You know, I don't know how you felt, but.

[Host]

Well, how did you feel? Be honest.

[Joan]

Well, so it was his hometown, so I feel like he was in charge. So up until that point, like, I'm in charge of everything. So every day is about me and me figuring it out and me, like, controlling it. So, like, I loved it that he was in control. That was a little much for me. I never told him that, but it did. But I thought, okay, this is. This is how he acts in front of his family friends. So I have to accept that. That's the way he is in front of like his guys.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And it was just a little peck, of course.

[Shipt Representative]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host]

No, no, no, no. We're not going for a full on make out, so.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I mean.

[Joan]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Maybe, maybe.

[Host]

I think it's. I find it very endearing and I think that. I don't know, I mean, but are you a PDA person? We've never talked about this. I love a little pda.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, you are.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And you're from Missouri too. I say it's a Midwestern thing. I've got a guy that I work.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Show me. Don't tell me every day.

[Host]

I'm not a married to an Indiana boy and so I get the Midwest pda.

[Joan]

Yeah. Where are you from?

[Host]

I'm from England, actually. I lost my exact.

[Jessica Capshaw]

She didn't lose it, she just doesn't use it.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

So if I may, and I'm gonna start rambling. How long have you been in the States?

[Host]

I have been. So I'm 40 and I've been in the States since I was 21, so. But I lived in the States for two years also when I was younger, so about half my life. But I realize my Midwest husband and he's all. We're both about the pda, which our kids are not a fan of.

[Camilla Luddington]

They.

[Joan]

I mean, they don't even.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They're like, gross.

[Host]

Yeah. Okay, let's talk about fantasy suites.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Host]

Because we've been asked.

[Jessica Capshaw]

She really wants to know about this stuff.

[Host]

Well, here's why I'm going to be ask what I always want to know. Because I've never had a couple in front of me and I'm a fan of the show. I do feel like sexual chemistry is super important. Right.

[Joan]

Totally agree.

[Host]

And so I oftentimes, whenever I'm watching any season, feel like that's the night that they really know because they know waking up, like if it was there, if it wasn't there.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Is it implied that sex has happened?

[Host]

It's implied that sex has happened. But I'm saying whatever's happened, you know, because they're more intimate than they get to ever be. You come out knowing you're not chill.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm off camera. I'm just gonna chill.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Host]

No, you're not chilling. Are you kidding? You're going for it.

[Joan]

So for me, I was a little different about that. So I had a hard time picturing, like having sex with three different guys in one week, which is rough.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah. No judgment. That's it.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Or sex with two guys and making Love with another one.

[Joan]

Oh, there you go.

[Host]

But the opportunity's on the table.

[Joan]

Absolutely.

[Host]

To do it.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Joan]

So I decided, even, like, before I came on the season, that, like, that just was not me. I don't feel comfortable with it. And so I got about halfway through the season, and I was afraid to tell anybody that I didn't want to do fantasy seasons.

[Host]

You didn't change your mind? You weren't like, you know what? Three sounds great. Let's make it three. So. Okay.

[Joan]

Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So you're not.

[Joan]

So I'm like, I don't think that I want to do three. I'm afraid to tell the producers this because I'm afraid they're going to be like, oh, that's not how this works. We're not going to. Or even if they say, okay, you can do whatever you want, but we're going to, like, shoot it, like that's gonna happen. Because this is part of the show. And I didn't want that either. I wanted. I kind of wanted to not necessarily make a statement, but I wanted it to be shown that you don't have to do fantasy suites. Like, you can go into fantasy suites, and that can be a chance to, you know, have, like, emotional intimacy and really know the person and have those important conversations that you really need to have. But it doesn't need to have to have. You don't have to have the, like, the physical element of it, so. Or at least not that much of a physical element. Yeah. So about halfway through the season, right before we were going to Hometowns, I said to my producer, we were walking. He was always trying to get his steps in every night, and we would get to be, like, 11:30. He's like, I need 2,000 more steps. And I'm. So I would go on a walk with him around, like, the hotel. So we were walking one night, and I was like, bradford, I gotta tell you something. I said, I don't want to do fantasy suites. I said, in fact, I'm not going to. I said, I want to do fantasy suites, but I don't want to have a bed in them. And he's like, oh, all right.

[Host]

You're like, I want to swing.

[Joan]

Honestly, in a pole.

[Host]

Yeah, just a pole.

[Joan]

I just need a pole. Yeah. And handcuffs, obviously. Yeah. So he's like, let me talk to everybody. And he came back, like, a couple days later. He's like, yeah, they're good with it. That's fine.

[Host]

They can't force that. No, they can't force it.

[Joan]

But I wanted it to be more than just not me knowing I'm not doing that and me telling the guys. I wanted it to actually, like, be a statement. A statement a little bit. And not because I felt like I needed to make a statement other than I did want. So I felt the pressure. And I'm old. I'm 61 years old, and I felt the pressure to do this. And I think, does everybody feel that pressure? Even the young? Are the younger people feeling that pressure that they need to do this?

[Host]

I bet they are.

[Joan]

Yeah. I kind of feel like they are. And I was. I kind of wanted to say, you don't have to, like, you don't have to do that. So cool.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And then did you talk to the guys or did you say to the guys, like, this is.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

In this experience, this is not going to be part of it.

[Joan]

This is not going to be part of it. So every night, like, for those three fantasy suite.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Wait, wait.

[Host]

Sorry.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I just have to pause for a second. Was that a disappointment or a relief or a. Like, because you're on. Because you're a contestant.

[Host]

I love this.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

We were at dinner, and you got all these cameras on you, and she goes, I'm doing something different. And I was like, I really appreciated it because I didn't want to think of that, you know, of her being in bed with other people, even if they didn't make love.

[Host]

Yeah. It's so intimate. It's always very intimate on the show.

[Joan]

And it's also been an issue with some couples that come off the show that the. And it's generally a girl lead with the guy. You know, contestants. And they have a problem. The guys have a problem. That she slept with other people.

[Host]

Yes.

[Joan]

And that wasn't the reason I didn't do it. I just. And what anybody else does, if they want to do that, that's fine. That's just not my decision. My personal decision. I didn't want to. So normally you come to the evening part of the fantasy suite date, and they have, like. With the key. And my note just said something different. Said like, in, you know, I'd like to spend time with you in the fantasy suites. I want to have conversations, but, you know, there's not going to be a bed and there's not going to be, like, a physical part of this.

[Host]

Yes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So was there not a physical part of it until. So engagement wasn't until afterwards?

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Host]

Did you feel like it was a gamble, like, you could get to, like.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Let'S go ahead and throw it out. That you wouldn't Be successful, sexually compatible.

[Host]

Yeah. Because I think that that's. It's not that. It's not that someone's, like, bad in bed or great in bed or. It's just a natural chemistry. In the same way a natural kiss has chemistry, which they have.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They just talked about it.

[Host]

They have that. But I'm saying that you're getting engaged. You're. You're committing to being together without having done that intimate act. Was there any part of you, either of you, that were worried that, like, when it came down to it, that would be a bust?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

We had a. And I won't go into details, but please do.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We had a.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

We had a conversation on. At my hometowns on a bus, and there weren't any cameras around.

[Joan]

Clearly, there's never any cameras.

[Host]

I know.

[Joan]

It's like we were really hot, and they had, like, one of those sprinter buses waiting with some crew in it, and they're like, just get in the van and, like, you know, sit there to cool off for a minute. And we don't have any cameras on us.

[Jessica Capshaw]

One. You're like, great.

[Host]

Okay. I mean, exclusive. Exclusive.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

So what happened?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, what happened?

[Joan]

So we had. We had little, like. Like, just normal conversation. Then he goes, so I just have to ask you something. He goes, how do you feel about sex?

[Host]

I love this. It's such a poor conversation.

[Joan]

He's like, okay, good.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

That's all I needed.

[Host]

That's all you needed?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Yeah.

[Joan]

I love it.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And then I'll go ahead and this is. If I get the look, tell me to. We're at that stage. We've been married for, like, five years.

[Host]

This is great.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

So we do the engagement. We come back, and they do a big party for the crew, and we kind of bust it in. You're not supposed to go. And we bust it in.

[Joan]

Well, we didn't have the key to your room. We had to go get it from your producer.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And it was fun. They were all in there having fun. And the boat. They were taking the boat from Bora Bora back to Tahiti because we were flying out in a day or two. We stayed an extra day, and the boat was rocking just like this. And I get seasick. And they've got a doctor with you 24, seven. And he gave me, like, four doses of Dramamine. We got back to the room. I was out. So it did not have. I mean, it was.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, that's hilarious.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Well, it was industrial strip.

[Host]

No, it's better.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Joan]

I think I'm gonna go back to my own Room.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Joan]

So I left him that night.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, Yeah, I went back to the party.

[Joan]

Good for you.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

But we don't just all let him. Everybody know. We don't have a problem.

[Joan]

It's all.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm assuming they wouldn't let everyone know. Listen, there's not a problem.

[Host]

It is an important part of our relationships, and I think that's also important.

[Joan]

To talk about that on this particular show. Just because, you know, people look at older people and, you know, go, oh, you know, they're over that.

[Camilla Luddington]

It's not true at all.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I stop you. You keep saying old.

[Joan]

I know, but do you really?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Do you see yourself as old?

[Joan]

I don't really, but it is called the Golden Bachelor and, you know, there are.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm looking at you both in person.

[Host]

I'm so happy I get to be in person.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Person. A lot of times we do this on Zoom.

[Joan]

I know. I like this so much better.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So much better. But, I mean, I'm looking at two people who are super vibrant and engaged, and there's nothing about.

[Host]

You guys are sexy together.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm only saying. I'm only going back to it because you've said it twice. I'm just going to say that in my particular, in my opinion.

[Host]

But I understand what she's saying. I mean, it is.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I would say you're more mature. Like, you actually, you're coming into relationships with some experience. Whereas I think, you know, whether or not people are trying to become influencers off the show, I don't know. I can't speak to that. But I think that no matter what you're. Unless you're a really old soul, if you come at 22 years of age, you probably haven't had a whole lot of experience with people in general.

[Host]

What's interesting is I had not. I had stopped watching the show for a few seasons because I was like, you know what? They always break up and people are coming on for the wrong reasons. And I got back into it because of the Golden Bachelor, even though they're not together anymore, because I felt like all the contestants I could tell were really in it. I know. In it for the right reasons. I know. It's like the same.

[Joan]

I know. But it's true.

[Host]

But it felt really true.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Joan]

What is chronic migraine?

[Botox Representative]

It's 15 or more headache days a month, each lasting four hours or more. Botox Onobotulinum Toxin A prevents headaches in adults with chronic migraine. It's not approved for adults with migraine who have 14 or fewer headache days a month. Ask your doctor about Botox Botox is.

A prescription medicine injected by your doctor. Effects of Botox may spread hours to weeks after injection, causing serious symptoms. Alert your doctor right away as difficulty swallowing, speaking, breathing, eye problems or muscle weakness can be signs of a life threatening condition. Patients with these conditions before injection are at highest risk. Side effects may include allergic reactions, neck and injection sites, pain, fatigue and headache. Allergic reactions can include rash, welts, asthma symptoms and dizziness. Don't receive Botox if there's a skin infection. Tell your doctor your medical history, muscle or nerve conditions including als, Lou Gehrig's disease, Myasthenia gravis or Lambert Eaton Syndrome and medications including botulinum toxins as these may increase the risk of serious side effects.

[Joan]

Talk to your doctor and visit botoxchronicmigraine.com or call 1-844botox to learn more.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay, I'm wearing my Adore Me matching set and it is so soft.

[Host]

Ah, I love it. Adormi is the first lingerie brand to offer extended sizing across a wide range of styles and categories. Whether you're looking for bra and panty sets, lingerie, PJ swimwear or activewear, they have it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They do. And you know what? I personally love how inclusive Adormi is because they offer over 67 sizes and they have comfortable undergarments that can be worn all day long and they have.

[Host]

Matching sets as low as 2495. So you can feel sexy even if.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You'Re on a budget and they drop a new seasonal collection every month, so there's always new styles to check out.

[Host]

Always. And new customers can get up to 50% off their first order.

[Jessica Capshaw]

What?

[Joan]

That's a lot.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes, I know.

[Joan]

I.

[Jessica Capshaw]

This. You know what this means? This means that you need to go to adore me.com to shop right now.

[Host]

Now.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm going there right now.

[Host]

Yeah, obviously.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Bye.

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[T-Mobile Representative]

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[Host]

I have a question about kids. Because you had gone through the first season and then you came back, were they at all afraid that you were going to get your heart broken again?

[Joan]

Yeah. You know, it's funny that your kids. So you take care of your kids. You're their caregiver for so many years.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Joan]

And then it evolves in a really weird way and it happens like before you know it and they start worrying about you, which has never happened before. And this was the first indication that my kids started worrying about me. And maybe a little bit after my husband passed away, like I. They kind of became a little bit more of the caregiver than the takers. They became the givers, not the takers. A little more. Yeah. And when I Went on this show. They were worried about it. They, they. They know that I'm a really strong person, but they, you know, there is an element that they. I finally got to a place after John passed away of being comfortable, like, of not having angst, not crying, not, you know, you know, retreating. I kind of got comfortable in my own skin and in my life, and they didn't want me to go backwards. So this, like, shaking up your life, like, this is a leap of faith because you could go from having a really nice, comfortable life that you really need to shake up, but is it the best life that you could lead? And so by taking the sleep of faith and saying, I'm willing to risk it for the reward, risk my comfort and my happiness and being in a good place in life for a better life, and it could happen. But that's scary for my kids. It was scary for me, but it was scary for my kids, too.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Well, my guess is for your kids, it. There's a level of exposure that is just.

[Joan]

Oh, true.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Unlike any other kind of exposure.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

In. I mean, I think so often my kids are young, but as they are coming up into social media and everything else where you're creating your own TV channel for your. For your life, like, your little life, it's not being produced by anyone. And what you put out there is vulnerable and exposed, and someone could take advantage of it, and someone could use it for good, someone could use it for bad. And in this case, obviously, you're really.

[Host]

You are.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You're really taking a huge leap and putting yourself out there.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's why I asked if you really. I think that really believing that there is a prize at the end of it, that there's going to be something that you win, has got to be such a huge piece of it in earnest.

[Joan]

Otherwise, it's a huge motivator.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm guessing there's probably some predictability that you could do with the couples that have not made it. Like, whether or not they really believe.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

I don't know.

[Host]

It's hard. And sometimes, honestly, you watch those, like, you watch the episode where they reveal. Reveal the people together, and it really. It's. You can tell already in that episode that it's not working out. Were there any nights that you went to bed and wondered if there would be? No one, really, at the end of it.

[Joan]

I had one night of angst like that, and it was right before our final date. Oh, really? And I'd gone on a date with Guy, and I had gone on one With Pascal. Pascal self eliminated that night. So he said, I want to go home.

[Host]

Yes.

[Joan]

And I knew that connection with Guy. I felt like my connection with him was so much better than or deeper than my connection with Guy, and I didn't know if he still felt the same way with me.

[Host]

You were worried that he was going to self eliminate?

[Joan]

Like, I didn't know what his feelings were because I hadn't seen him in two weeks. I hadn't seen him since hometowns.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I thought you wink, wink, nudge. Nudged her. You didn't wink, wink. You were playing a little harder.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Nudged me.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, you were playing a little hard to get.

[Joan]

It was before that.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Were you playing a little hard to get?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

But you just.

[Joan]

I didn't know, though.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

You just never know because it's two weeks and Does a person get cold feet? Is it. You're in this bubble?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, I believe that. I believe that.

[Host]

Do you. Are you allowed to. Especially on overnights, are you allowed technically to tell the person that you've picked them if you know by that point, or are you advised by the producers to not say anything?

[Joan]

They do not advise you not to say anything. You do in genesis weeks. You can tell. Yeah. I think you knew, Obviously. I didn't tell him I loved him, though, until we were on. Until we got engaged.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Cause you were waiting to do that.

[Host]

Were you holding that moment for then?

[Joan]

I did.

[Host]

And did you go into the season knowing that you would hold the I love you or just organically?

[Joan]

But I did go into the season saying, I'm not gonna say I love you to more than one person. So that brings it all the way.

[Host]

To the end of maturity.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You had some. You had some things set out, and.

[Joan]

I've seen people do it and never goes well. So I knew. I felt it about him way before I ever said it, but I was like, I'm not saying it because are.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You able to call people at home and be like, oh, my God.

[Host]

You'Re not allowed. They take all your stuff.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Seven weeks, you don't have your phone.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Unless it's an emergency with your thoughts.

[Joan]

Yeah. And so that's a big thing about it. Because you have no friends, you have no family, like your girlfriend that you would normally talk to a thousand times.

[Host]

And be like, he did this. He said that?

[Joan]

Yeah. Tell me, what do you think?

[Jessica Capshaw]

I don't like his pants. Nothing. Why did he wear that shirt?

[Host]

Chocolate. Hard watching the season back.

[Joan]

Because a lot.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You watch it.

[Host]

Yes, about half of it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay.

[Host]

Oh, only half. Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Host]

Yeah. Because you Referenced.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And the reason why we've been so busy.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, I was gonna say, is it.

[Host]

Hard for you, though? Like, are you a little jealous when you see the connections that she has with people? Because some people don't watch it back. I hear.

[Joan]

Yeah, I've heard.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And there's reasons they don't. But it was interesting because, like Joan said earlier that even though I was living it, I didn't see how the dates went.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Like, Jordan's a good buddy of mine.

[Joan]

Yeah.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And he came back and he goes, I fell on the ice. And when I saw it on tv, I was like, that's a bad crash. And they were going, because, Jonathan, you'd think he could ride a horse. Last time he was on a horse, he was six years old. It was a pony at a fair. And then guy goes, gu. And he goes, the one effing thing I gotta do is cook. And he goes, I don't cook.

[Joan]

So you pick these guys for dates. And I kind of pick them based on, like. So Jonathan, he's from Iowa. I'm like, of course he knows how to ride a horse. We get there, and I'm like. And I'm kind of afraid of horses. I don't really love them. And it's kind of a typical date. They do them every bachelor season. You gotta do the horseback riding date. And I was like, really? We have to do it? And they're like, yeah, we always do it. So we're out there. We're on this mountain. There's rattlesnakes. They have a rattlesnake handler, like, in the bushes, and it's hot. And I'm like, okay, so we're gonna ride horses, you know? And he. And I was like, so I'm counting on you, you know, he's like, I haven't ridden a horse since I was 6 years old. I was like, we. Can we just go home now? This is a terrible day. And then the same thing with Jordan. You know, he's from Chicago. I'm like, of course he knows how to ice skate. He's like a freaking cold place. Hadn't ice skated since he was 12.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So you guys have been very busy since the finale, and now it's the holiday season. It sounds. It seems like you're kind of going out and around everywhere. When will you all get to now live your lives?

[Joan]

I know. Take a deep breath and live our lives. Yeah, it has been.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Because you're in Maryland and you're in Kansas. You're talking about a place in New York. But when do you get to. Just when are you done with the.

[Joan]

All the hype? Yeah, yeah. All the press, all the. Soon, actually. So I feel like we have probably the rest of December when we don't have any TV stuff we have to do. Like, I have some interviews in Maryland. He has some in Kansas, but not. Not stuff together. And then I'm going to Kansas finally on the 18th of December, just like, kind of spend some time with his family and friends, which I've met a lot of them. So we had a big party after the finale. The night of the finale, we had like a big kind of engagement party. There were like 200 people there. Oh, my God. A whole bunch of his friends flew in from Kansas. So I've met a lot of them, but I spent some time there. So that's going to be a little bit of downtime. Then he's coming to Maryland for Christmas, and then we're hopefully we maybe found a place in New York. We're working on it today with a realtor.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You both have jobs that you were able to put on hold while you did the show, right?

[Joan]

Yeah, he's on the phone all the time with his job now, but for the seven weeks, he didn't do that much. He could have his phone every once in a while.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, but sure, yeah, I bet.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

And I've got a good staff, own a couple small businesses, so good people handling it.

[Host]

Amazing. So was everyone geeking out from your work that you're on the show and you got picked?

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

No, it's just they're.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They're like, of course he got picked. Like, of course Jack got picked.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Well, it was interesting because when I came back. And again, I'll ramble. When I came back, they're like, can you go away?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, it's going really well around here.

[Host]

How do you guys feel about a golden Bachelorette televised wedding?

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's.

[Joan]

That's a good question.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So your face is saying. Now your face is saying maybe.

[Joan]

Yeah, I wanted to see it, but.

[Host]

I understand, like, wanting to keep this now private.

[Joan]

Yeah. So I have, like, both those thoughts. So, you know, I thought I just wanted to be our family and friends and just be intimate and just us, you know, being a couple finally, not a couple that everybody is watching, just us. And then, like, the thought has gone through in my head now that I've seen people's reactions to the show and how. And how much hope it's given people. Yeah. And I feel like leaving them, like, right at the curb right when they get to see maybe what the real finale is. Like a wedding is not the right thing to do. That it would do.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You get paid if you do a wedding. Like, is that like a performance situation or is it.

[Joan]

I don't know.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Just. You don't know.

[Joan]

I know bachelors have been paid. I know Trista and Ryan were paid. That was a lot of years ago.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. For the licensee rights to their wedding.

[Joan]

Yeah. Well, I don't know what they're paid for, but I know they got paid. But I don't know about if they still do that.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No. Because I love. You should ask her. I'm in the mode of, like, I'm all for hope. I mean, I have deep, deep wells. I'm. I hope to have an incredible practice of gratitude and hope and optimism. And I think that I do live that every day. And I look at people and I'm like, oh, well, there's an exchange of value. And so you guys are. This is. On some level, there's. There's a job to it. And in. In a wedding like that, it's not. It's not for you. It's not an intimate.

[Host]

Well, I know a little bit of.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Us giving up the control.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Because between the two of us, we can throw one hell of a party.

[Host]

I don't think you owe anything else, I think, to anybody.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No.

[Host]

At all. I have to ask because this question came up a lot with the Call It Crew, because we put out questions about you guys, and they want to know if you guys have talked about a prenup, which is a conversation that every age talks about.

[Joan]

Yeah. I mean, we have. Yeah. We've talked finances and stuff like that. Yeah. Both of us are fun with it. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And have you done, like, the normal things with these are like, do you know, like. Like, it's so funny, like, when you're. When you're dating and you're in the real world, you're like, you know how, like, if someone likes to use their Fugen Flyer miles or like they like Amex over Visa or if they like the Real Driver thing.

[Host]

Jessica was like, this is what I want to know.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Do you know about which side of the bed.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No.

[Joan]

He asked me on tv.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Oh. And I was a creep. I mean, half the free world thought I was a creep for asking her that question.

[Joan]

Ask him what side of the bed I say.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

I tell her I'm trainable or I'm trained because the guy get second choice on which side of the bed always.

[Joan]

The girl that closest to the bathroom of Course.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

Or when you have kids closest to the door.

[Jessica Capshaw]

When it's two girls. What if it's.

[Host]

My husband likes to be closest to the door because of, like, he feels like if they're, you know, Alarm goes off, I feel like I'd be like.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, I think it's.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

If I can't. I'll go back to that question.

[Host]

No, yeah, Yeah.

[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

I think it's different when you're mature. But mature. Because we both live these lives and we've been through so much of that. We talked a little bit financial before the end, so we knew where each other stood. But as far as the cards and all that stuff, it's just so easy for us. When you're 20 to 30 years old, it's a whole different.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's so true.

[Host]

You guys. I have to say I'm fully back in to the bachelor. Bachelorette, Bachelor nation. Bachelor. I've always been part of bachelor nation. You know, I went to a required.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I think this is an exact. I think this isn't. Let's be fair. This is an exceptional.

[Host]

No, but that's what I was saying. I was such a huge fan that I went in the audience and watched. I don't even remember what season was. It was. It was freezing cold in that audience. By the way, I saw you in.

[Jessica Capshaw]

The audience of Dancing with the Stars.

[Joan]

I was. Twice. It was so fun.

[Host]

She loves.

[Joan]

Go be in the audience.

[Host]

But call somebody. Get the fully back in. Because of you guys, I feel like there's so much chemistry between you. There's so much. When you guys walked in, I'm like. Like, it feels like you've known each other for like 10 years. It feels crazy.

[Joan]

Yeah. We're so comfortable with each other.

[Host]

It's insane. So this process works.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Happy holidays, everyone.

[Host]

And I know here is done.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We've done nothing. But I'm done.

[Host]

I know.

[Joan]

Drop the mic, walk out.

[Host]

Yeah. I feel like I've been romance.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Do you guys want to ask us any questions?

[Host]

But I. Congratulations. You, the call it crew, are, like, so excited to have you. Had a million questions coming on. I wish we could get through.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Host]

And we can't wait to see the wedding. Maybe or not. Maybe or not.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Whatever you want.

[Joan]

Ever something. I know.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Do you want to invite us? I'll bring my dress.

[Joan]

Yes.

[Host]

We're excited. We're waiting for the invite.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We'll get Julianne Hough to do a dance.

[Host]

Yes.

[Joan]

Oh, my God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Dancing with the Stars contestants.

[Joan]

I know. That's the next thing I want to be on, but congratulations.

[Host]

Well, yes, you heard it here first. Abc. We need her on please. But congratulations guys.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Happy holidays.

[Joan]

Thank you.

[Host]

Thank you guys.

[Joan]

Really, really.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Host]

So let's call that the end of the episode. Episode.

[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Joan]

Dramos from Life as a Gringo. No Making smarter financial moves today secures a financial freedom for a successful tomorrow.

[Host]

Now we have a level of privilege that our parents never had.

[Joan]

So what do we do with it? Right?

[Host]

How do we. How do we utilize the opportunities that we have that they don't? Right? And a lot of that is educating ourselves. Educating ourselves on how to not make the same mistakes they did.

[Joan]

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm, proud sponsor of my Cultura podcast network.

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Host]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Host]

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[Golden Bachelor Contestant]

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