Call It with Stefania Spampinato

Summary

Call It What It Is – Episode with Stefania Spampinato Release Date: February 10, 2025

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Call It What It Is, hosted by Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington of Grey’s Anatomy fame, the dynamic duo welcomes Stefania Spampinato, a fellow actress and friend. The conversation delves deep into their personal and professional lives, exploring themes of friendship, on-screen chemistry, personal growth, and evolving perspectives on sexuality.

---

1. Welcoming Stefania Spampinato

The episode kicks off with Jessica and Camilla expressing their excitement about having Stefania on the show.

• Jessica Capshaw [02:28]: "I'm pumped for this one. I'm like a little juiced."
• Camilla Luddington [02:28]: "We're really juiced. Because why. Who are we sitting across from right now?"

2. Stefania’s Encounter with Steven Spielberg

Stefania shares a humorous and memorable story about meeting Steven Spielberg during her early acting days.

• Stefania Spampinato [03:39]: "I made a short film with Steven Spielberg."
• Jessica Capshaw [04:30]: "Just how fantastic and nice is he?"

3. Navigating On-Screen Relationships

The trio discusses their experiences working together on Grey’s Anatomy and Station 19, highlighting the natural chemistry that developed between their characters.

• Camilla Luddington [13:38]: "It was so easy and effortless and it worked."
• Stefania Spampinato [15:50]: "Our chemistry was just something that was natural."

4. Personal Growth and Postpartum Experiences

Jessica and Stefania open up about balancing motherhood with their acting careers, touching upon the vulnerabilities and challenges faced postpartum.

• Jessica Capshaw [11:46]: "Having a baby comes with so many other things going on. Your hormones and your brain and your mind and... everything is kind of wild."
• Stefania Spampinato [12:21]: "It takes a woman's body two years to fully recover from a delivery. That's crazy. I believe that."

5. Reflections on Storylines and Character Development

They reflect on specific storylines, such as Stefania’s character struggling with fertility treatments, and discuss what they wish had been handled differently to enhance the narrative.

• Stefania Spampinato [17:22]: "I was a little sick of talking about IVF."
• Jessica Capshaw [17:45]: "It might have been better to listen, everyone."

6. Deep Dive into Sexuality and Gen Z’s Sexual Behavior

Transitioning to a more personal and societal topic, Jessica, Camilla, and Stefania engage in an open conversation about the declining sexual activity among Gen Z, exploring factors like digital dependency and shifting relationship dynamics.

• Camilla Luddington [24:12]: "Gen Z is between 13 and 28 years old."
• Jessica Capshaw [27:15]: "There's so much digital. There's no real foreplay. They miss out on the banging. The real banging."

7. Personal Experiences and Self-Discovery

The guests share their personal journeys regarding sexuality, self-pleasure, and overcoming societal taboos to embrace their sexual identities.

• Stefania Spampinato [37:19]: "I was fully neglecting myself and I was like, hang on a second, let me read more about it."
• Camilla Luddington [39:37]: "I'm in my sex revolution era."

8. Listener Questions: Addressing Sexual Health and Relationships

The episode features a segment where the hosts address listener-submitted questions about sexual preferences, orgasms, and maintaining friendships without romantic entanglements.

• Jessica Capshaw [54:42]: "Kissing is your favorite part."
• Stefania Spampinato [61:07]: "If you are friends and there is anything that could make it tip away, you can never go back to being right."

9. The Importance of Self-Pleasure and Open Conversations

Emphasizing the significance of self-pleasure, the conversation highlights how personal well-being and confidence play crucial roles in healthy sexual relationships.

• Stefania Spampinato [71:25]: "Self pleasure is super important. I have a glorious time with myself."
• Camilla Luddington [75:19]: "This is a fantastic journey towards self-discovery."

10. Closing Thoughts and Future Directions

As the episode wraps up, Jessica and Camilla reflect on the importance of open dialogues about sexuality and express their hope to continue these conversations in future episodes.

• Jessica Capshaw [76:57]: "It's incredibly important to share with anybody."
• Camilla Luddington [77:21]: "It's the first of Stefania's only podcasts. True."

---

Conclusion

This episode of Call It What It Is offers a candid and heartfelt exploration of the intricate balance between personal life and professional commitments. Jessica, Camilla, and Stefania provide listeners with insightful perspectives on friendship, love, and the evolving landscape of sexuality among younger generations. Their honest dialogue not only strengthens their on-screen personas but also fosters a sense of authenticity and relatability with their audience.

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Notable Quotes

• Jessica Capshaw [27:15]: "There's so much digital. There's no real foreplay. They miss out on the banging. The real banging."
• Stefania Spampinato [37:29]: "I was fully neglecting myself and I was like, hang on a second, let me read more about it."
• Camilla Luddington [54:15]: "Patience. Because if somebody's patient, it means that he's going to take their time."

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This summary encapsulates the essence of the episode, providing an informative and engaging overview for both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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[Camilla Luddington]

What it Is with Jessica Capshaw and.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Camille Ludington and iHeartRadio podcast.

[Camilla Luddington]

Hello, hello, hello, hello Call It Crew and welcome to another episode of Call it what It Is.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm pumped for this one. I'm like a little juiced.

[Camilla Luddington]

We're really juiced. Because why. Who are we sitting across from right now?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Stefanio.

[Unknown]

I love that you're like, the last name. Let's not say the last name. Are we saying.

[Camilla Luddington]

I want to say sons and neat ott.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Normally, I would totally be like, no, obviously, Stefania. I've got it. I know, but you caught me. I was like, stefani.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yes, I know.

[Unknown]

It's like the last word.

[Camilla Luddington]

Is this a common last name in Italy?

[Unknown]

In the South? Yeah. I have a funny Starbucks name spelling story.

[Camilla Luddington]

Go. We love it.

[Unknown]

Sorry. No, I was in line with Starbucks and Steven Spielberg was your problem.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We're going and start with a bang. People asked about this, by the way, in the DMs. They said, what? Please have Stefania tell her Steven Spielberg story. There's two stories. Like, one that I should do.

[Unknown]

One that doesn't like the story with Steven Spielberg where I realized that you guys.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So we were working together. Yes, we were already working together.

[Unknown]

Exactly. I just like a couple of. First couple of episodes. I was meeting a producer there, and he was like, oh, come, Stefania, let's go say hi to Steven. And I was like, who's Stephen? And I was like, literally the first words that came out of my mouth were like, hi, I always make out with your daughter. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's what I wrote in the story.

[Camilla Luddington]

I've never heard that story. What did he say?

[Unknown]

I was like, Frozen. I was like, Grey's Anatomy. Grey Anatomy.

[Camilla Luddington]

Not in real life.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That is so funny.

[Unknown]

And then he was like, let's do a video for her.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So we found it.

[Unknown]

So my actual story is that I made a short film with Steven Spielberg.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You did? Technically, yes.

[Camilla Luddington]

You made a short film with Steven Spielberg?

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, but technically. And by the way, just for the record, I think people are always surprised by this. I'm leading the witness. Just how fantastic and nice is he?

[Unknown]

Come on. I mean, come on.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Isn't the guy warmer and kinder and less assuming? And I've watched it my whole life, obviously. But the way that he, you know, is in the world and just treats the people around him, and it's just. He's pretty special. He is.

[Unknown]

Like, even after the third time the guy asked to speak, to tell him his name, he was like, fully, like, zero ego, on faith. I was like, steven.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I was like, yeah, yeah. Well, as long as we're on the story of Starbucks and Steven Spielberg, he's there a lot. I'm just saying. He is there a lot.

[Camilla Luddington]

Is he?

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's a morning thing, so they should Know his name. They should know.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's a morning thing. There was a tipping point where obviously our entire lives, if people came up to talk to us when any of us were out, they were clearly going to talk to him. Right. And then there was this tipping point where all of a sudden it was like, everyone's in a while to come talk to me. So I don't know, it's maybe a couple months ago and we're in New York City and we actually were not. We hadn't even. We weren't going to Starbucks together. I had gone somewhere else. He was at the Starbucks, and I came in and he didn't know that I was there. And then I run into him, which. I just love running into your family. It's kind of cute. So I was like, ah. He says, ah. So we're hugging in and. And this woman comes over and then she joins in the.

[Unknown]

Ah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And he's like, oh, gosh, what's happening? She was like. She's like a really big fan. And he got to sort of just stand there and be like, grazing on me. Just a guy.

[Unknown]

He was. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

He didn't get to.

[Camilla Luddington]

He's like, can you hold my morning.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, he was Steven's coworker. No one.

[Camilla Luddington]

No.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They didn't even look at him.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I love that.

[Camilla Luddington]

Listen, Arizona Robbins.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Exactly. What can I say?

[Unknown]

Come on. Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm so happy that you're here. And I feel like we just could. Could start off with the fact that, I mean, it seems like a long time ago, but it wasn't that long ago when.

[Camilla Luddington]

When we last saw her or Stefania.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Came into our lives.

[Camilla Luddington]

Well, what's funny is that we did a rewatch up. We did our first rewatch of Grey's Anatomy, and you. You guys. It's the Weed Cookie episode and you guys are in it. And so we just talked about her first impression of you, because I was. You have a love interest, and Stefania walks in. You're like, yeah, yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You're like. You're like, when?

[Camilla Luddington]

You're like, when. So how long ago was it that you start on Grace?

[Unknown]

I think it was seven years. Eight years ago. Eight years ago, I think it was like.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And I was like, that's how long.

[Unknown]

Ago it was Eight years ago.

[Camilla Luddington]

Because it's like this weird time warp that people don't understand where it just goes so fast.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Okay, so this is what we were saying, was that when. Okay, so eight years ago, I had just had Josie, because Josie's eight. So we Were saying that we started a new season and Krista came and said, you know, the love interest from last season is not coming back. You're gonna have a new love interest. We're gonna figure it out. I don't know what it's gonna be, but we're gonna figure it out. And in the meantime, it had been positioned that Stefani was gonna be a tweenie. Like an in between. Yeah. Like you're gonna come in and we talk about this tweeny, like, you know, passion, relationship, whatever. And I was like, okay, great. So we didn't really get to have like a chemistry read. We're like, hey, where do you, like, where do you see the, like, what do you both, like, what are your hidden talents? Like, how do you see this going? We got nothing. We were, like, thrown into the deep end.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And again, I just had a baby. We had this, like, make out scene. Cause my character was like, going back into the.

[Camilla Luddington]

That was the best make out scene. This is where DeLuca walks in on you guys.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Boy.

[Jessica Capshaw]

DeLuc was pre intimacy coordinator.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And Stefania was saying, brand new first, like, puppy energy.

[Unknown]

I was like, yes, sure. What do you mean? Yeah, jump from the window. Hide the way.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, like, clean your bra. And she was puppy energy and I was postpartum energy. And I was like, you know, you have your wardrobe meeting where they're like, okay, so, you know, what do you. What do you want to wear and then what do you want to take off? Because all those scenes are so much better if clothing comes off. You know, there's like a thing thrown around. And they were like, what do you want to take off? I'm like, nothing.

[Unknown]

Nothing.

[Camilla Luddington]

Or you make it so there's 20 layers.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So you're like, you gotta take it two hours.

[Camilla Luddington]

It's like the episode of Joey and Friends when he's in all the clothes. It's like, you'll never get to skin.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And I remember we landed on a bustier type thing.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Which was so cute.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, I don't think I ever saw that stuff. I was just way too hard on myself.

[Camilla Luddington]

Guys, it's a really cute scene. I've seen it.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And then. So then. But you were fantastic. And you honestly, you were saying you had puppy energy. I mean, I'd been there for a whole lot longer and I was a whole lot less comfortable. Like, I just was like, what? What are we doing?

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay. And she was so fantastic.

[Camilla Luddington]

Was that the first scene you shot?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And with Debbie Allen directing. So I was shitting myself. I was like, oh, my God. She's like, but the thing that gave me make me, like, grounded is that we. We're speaking Italian. So I was like, even if I mess up, she doesn't know. So nobody knows. I'm fine. And that's the same.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And that was what was so funny because I was in between you and I was looking at him and then I was looking at you and I was like, yeah, that was really.

[Unknown]

Exactly. I also come from the dance world, and in Italy, when you dance, you're half like in a bikini all the time. So I was very comfortable.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Only in Italy you dance in bikinis.

[Unknown]

Pretty much. Pretty much. I have a funny story, actually. So my dancing career started in Italy and we literally go to auditions with bikinis and high heels. And then I moved to London. I mean, I go to London for a week to check it out and see if I can work there. And I literally show up at the audition room wearing the same thing that I would wear at an audition in Italy. But everybody else was like super hip hop and like, I look like a stripper. Like, everybody was like, no, that's next door.

[Camilla Luddington]

It's down the hallway. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

People were like, yes. You were like, oh, maybe. No, no.

[Unknown]

But I did it. I actually booked the job because I still can't. Let's stood out like a sore thumb. I was like, yeah, that was great. Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, my God, that's. So you felt that was honestly your first scene that you shot. I don't think I knew that. That's amazing. What did you think of Jessica? What was first impression?

[Unknown]

I loved everybody. I felt like I was super nervous and everybody was so welcoming and warm. Everybody came to introduce themselves and she was super sweet. And we were reading next to each other and I was like, oh, this is.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I feel like, oh, my God, it's so exciting.

[Unknown]

But I had read so many horror stories about me. People getting. Specifically her.

[Camilla Luddington]

I only put one out there, Jaz.

[Unknown]

No. People getting fired after table reads. So at the table read, I was actually very, very nervous because I was like, my God, if they don't like me, it's not going to happen. So I was like, again?

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, I've had it happen in a sitcom where I was going.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I think it happens more in sitcoms because people get to be funny if you're not.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And you gotta be funny.

[Unknown]

Yeah. But I was definitely super intimidated. I mean, also my best friend. My best friend's favorite show was Grey's Anatomy, and she's in a gay relationship. They have just adopted two kids, by the way. And, like, Kali and Arizona were, like, their favorite freaking couple.

[Camilla Luddington]

So I was like, so now you're coming into. Oh, wow.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And so I was like, oh, my God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, my gosh.

[Unknown]

That was so crazy.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I just think that there is this pressure to be exactly as you were before you had a baby and just come back and hit the ground running and just that there's only a physical act of having a baby or delivering a baby. But right after you have a baby, there's so many other things going on. And your hormones and your brain and your mind and your function and your sense of self and your security and everything is kind of, like, wild. So you got that part of me.

[Unknown]

I mean, apologies. Didn't feel that. But apparently it takes a woman's body two years to fully recover from a delivery.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I believe that.

[Unknown]

What? Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

I love that. I'm OB on the show, and I'm like, I'm sorry, what?

[Jessica Capshaw]

There it is.

[Unknown]

Two years to fully recover. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's crazy. Well, you came on, and honestly, everybody. I remember everybody loving you. You were just so kind and so fun, and you always brought energy. I remember you telling me a story. Cause I also. That was the other thing I was gonna say is that that was my fourth baby, and I do remember being super preoccupied. Like, I remember being like, I was at work, and then I was like, as soon as I was out of work, I was in the car and, like, speedy mode.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So I was definitely in that part of my life. The vulnerability and, like, just the. Because, like you said when you came with such excitement. But then when you. When you get to work together for a while and you have this time sat at the chairs or whatever, you actually do get to know. So then all of a sudden, you do hear these. You hear these stories, and you get a different sense of them. And it's not all just, you know, one thing. Like, we're. We're all going through something or have been through something and how we deal with it and sharing that is actually, I do think, very much contributes to our chemistry together on shows.

[Unknown]

100%.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah. It's funny because when we were watched during the rewatch back, you guys have a couple scenes together, and I was like, damn, your chemistry. Like, if you had stayed on our show, like, this could have worked.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Why was it that. Do you remember creatively, why that did not end up happening? What was the conversation of you going from one show to the other?

[Unknown]

There was no Conversation. At first I was just like, no, it was like going from episode to episode to episode. And again, because it was so new, I was like, any episode, like I said, was like a gift. Yeah, of course. And it wasn't until season three, my third season, so season 16 of Grace, that I started going to Station. And then it was like a kind of a random pitch from Krista. And then at the table read, the chemistry between Danielle and I was so good that they were like, yeah, okay, let's keep it going.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay, let's talk about the chemistry.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes.

[Camilla Luddington]

You felt that instantly, even at the table read.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes.

[Unknown]

Wow. Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Wow. Is there. Okay. So your characters. Because it's just sometimes this happens on shows and it happened on Station 19, where you have all. You have an ensemble cast and you have all these different couples, and then just one couple ends up just being explosive. Like, fans just blow up over them. And that happened for you guys?

[Unknown]

It did, for sure.

[Camilla Luddington]

Did you know that the fan reaction to you guys, did you. Did you feel that very early on or did it take time?

[Unknown]

I felt like. That's a good question. I feel like we felt that it was easy, but it was effortless. It was easy. It wasn't like, let's make this work. Let's make this special. It was just like, it was easy to show up and. Yeah. But I feel like it was a similar thing between Arizona and Karina. Like, I was supposed to be there for two episodes, and then it was just easy and effortless and it worked. And from two episodes and like a. It was supposed to be like a quick love, like, passionate thing. It just ended up becoming. Becoming more like a love story.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Did the fandom embrace this Station 19 relationship instantly?

[Unknown]

Yeah. Yeah. Because I think also the way the Karina and Arizona broke up was very, like, definite. She went to Cali and nobody was mad at that. They were like, sure. Like Arizona.

[Jessica Capshaw]

What do you mean? When I left on season 14.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm imagining or I'm making up that Meg bringing Arizona back had to, like, come up with whether or not she was gonna address where Arizona was and was she with Callie or wasn't. And so we didn't. They left it. So, you know, there was like, a little bit of a moment at your wedding that was.

[Camilla Luddington]

It teased it, but it never said it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Teased it, but it never said it. Yeah. Ok.

[Camilla Luddington]

I think it's smart to leave that too, because I feel like it's potential for story.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

You're not locking yourself into anything in one episode that you're back for.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, yeah, that's true. Actually, I think Arizona. I mean, I feel like what we probably needed that would have, like, sealed deal. Sealed the deal is if we'd had some kind of obstacle. We needed an obstacle. We didn't get like a full. Like, you can't be together because.

[Unknown]

Right. Something.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. And so then. Because then if we could have overcome it, then people would have championed it.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay, so then was there any storyline that you guys had on the show that you were not into that you kind of have wished had played a different way?

[Unknown]

I mean, everybody know. The Die Hard fans know that. But I feel like at the end, I was a little sick of talking about ivf.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah.

[Unknown]

I was like, okay, well, she's almost being pregnant for three years. For three seasons. But because I felt like we were tied to Grey's Anatomy and the Interns thing was that it. Three seasons was one year.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

So three seasons of trying. One year of trying to be pregnant became a little bit like. I don't want to say IVF anymore, but that's the only thing. And also, I love that storyline when we first started. It's just that we.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah. Because we screwed up. Grace. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Blame Grace.

[Unknown]

Pretty much.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Might have been better to listen, everyone.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, we did. It's true. Is there a story storyline that. Or a moment that was your favorite moment?

[Unknown]

There was like, a. A couple. There was one episode that was a standalone, and we all shot it in the apartment with Peter Page. It was the first episode Peter Page directed. And it was so much fun because it felt like a play. We had, like, 10 pages of intense dialogue, and we shot it all as a one, like, one scene. And so that was. As an actor was so.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, that's really fun.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We got to meet Peter. We did. Yeah. And he was so fantastic. Yeah, he's so God smart.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yes, man.

[Jessica Capshaw]

He's super.

[Camilla Luddington]

He just loved that show, too. Like, you could tell he loved the show. He loved the characters. He really cared.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Foreign.

[Camilla Luddington]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

I personally get a little girly, I love a bow, I love a little lace, I love the way it fits and I always love knowing that I feel supported underneath my clothes.

[Unknown]

Shop [e-mail] during tax season, your sensitive info does a lot of traveling to places you can't control, stopping off at payroll, your accountant or tax preparer and countless other data centers on its way to the irs. Any of them can expose you to identity theft because they all have the info on your W2. Just the ticket for criminals to steal your identity. No wonder the IRS reported tax fraud due to identity theft went up 20% last year. You need Lifelock. They monitor millions of data points per second and alert you to threats you could miss. If your identity is stolen. LifeLock's US based restoration specialists will fix it, backed by the million dollar protection package and restoration is guaranteed or your money back. Don't let identity thieves take you for a ride. Get Lifelock protection for tax season and beyond. Join now and save up to 40% your first year. Call 1-800-LIFELOCK and use promo code iheart or go to lifelock.com iheart for 40% off. Terms apply.

[Stefania Spampinato]

February is the month of love and we all deserve a little something special. Dime Beauty is having their annual Valendyme sale right now where you can get 25% off everything with code VALENDYME. It's the perfect excuse to refresh your beauty routine or pick out a thoughtful gift. At Dime Clean is more than a standard, it's their promise. Dedicated to skin conscious ingredients, they focus focus on creating beauty, skin care, body care and fragrances that are safe, gentle and free from harsh chemicals. With Dime, you can trust what you're putting on your skin every single day. If you're looking for the perfect nighttime anti aging cream, their TBT cream is a must try. It's packed with clean, age defying ingredients that nourish and hydrate your skin while you sleep. But don't just take my word for it. Over 30005 star reviews speak for themselves. Whether it's skincare, fragrance or A little bit of both. Dime has something for everyone. Visit dimebeautyco.com and use code VALENDYM for 25% off right now during their Valentine day sale. Grab your favorites before it's over. Dime beautyco.com My brother in law died suddenly and now my sister and her kids have to sell their home. That's why I told my husband we could not put off getting life insurance any longer. An agent offered us a 10 year, $500,000 policy for nearly $50 a month. Then we called Selectquote. Selectquote found us identical coverage for only $19 a month. A savings of $369 a year.

[Unknown]

Whether you need a $500,000 policy or a $5 million policy, SelectQuote could save you more than 50% on term life insurance. For your free quote, go to selectquote.com selectquote.com that's selectquote.com selectquote we shop, you save full details on example [e-mail] commercials.

[Camilla Luddington]

Hey, does anyone care if we talk about sex?

[Unknown]

Because.

[Camilla Luddington]

Why?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Because it's, it's, it's a love month.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's love month.

[Camilla Luddington]

It's Valentine's Day month. And we teased you out to the, to the, the whole fandom, the universe. The gray is stage 19 universe. They went crazy. The fact that we said we're gonna talk about sex with her, we made them even crazier. Made them. Yeah. Out of their minds. Let's do it. And this started from a conversation. It's not just out of nowhere. This started from a conversation. We saw Stefania.

[Jessica Capshaw]

When was it? November. And we were in Chicago.

[Camilla Luddington]

It was in November.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And we were just sitting around talking about sex either.

[Unknown]

Yep.

[Jessica Capshaw]

If you want to know what we do.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah. We were at a convention.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We sit around and we talk about sex.

[Camilla Luddington]

Well, we got to go to dinner.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Together and then we got to see.

[Camilla Luddington]

Each other at the convention. And what happens is when we haven't seen each other for a while, there's a download, right? There's like a. What is going on? Who are you seeing? How are the kids? Da da da da.

[Unknown]

Right?

[Camilla Luddington]

And that's what happened. And we got. On the subject of sex, we got, we talked about sex. And so we're going to get into it. But first I found it very interesting and I wanted to start with this. Gen Z is not having.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Or how many is Gen Z? Gen z is between 13 and 20, 28 years old.

[Camilla Luddington]

They're having less sex than previous generations. Many people tightened their social Circles when the pandemic surged in general. People coming of age in an era of dating apps say the notion of starting a relationship with someone they person seems like a piece of nostalgia.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's sad. Funny sad though. Like a piece of nostalgia. Like a relic from the oldie days. Like a relationship will come with it. What are you talking about?

[Unknown]

I don't. That's it. No more relationships.

[Jessica Capshaw]

People don't do that because it's nostalgic. By the way, I've told this story before. I did talk to someone who's probably in the 28 year old category and they were like, oh my gosh, I would never talk to someone in Pearl. In real life, I would never say hi to someone I thought was cute at a bar. And I was like, what?

[Camilla Luddington]

There's no meet cutes out in the world. They call it a meet cute, right? Like when you're out, a meet cute's when you meet someone in the real world.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Iro, and you have that like sitcom. Yeah, you're like, you had that, like.

[Camilla Luddington]

Hey, you come here often so the meet cute isn't happening.

[Unknown]

I've never had that, by the way, in my life. Nobody's ever come talk to me at a bar. Never. But I also am weird, like when I see somebody in life.

[Camilla Luddington]

You've never sat at a bar and.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Someone'S like, sat at a bar. If no one's ever come up to.

[Camilla Luddington]

You while you were never at a bar.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So you've sat at bars and no one come.

[Unknown]

No one. Well, no one has come. Never to me.

[Jessica Capshaw]

With friends.

[Unknown]

With friends or alone? No, I've never gone alone with friends. But like male, female, that doesn't deter.

[Camilla Luddington]

People coming up to you.

[Unknown]

But this is one thing that I have to disclose about myself. Like, if I like somebody, I'm like, where do I hide? Like, I don't make eye contact. I don't provoke.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, there's no like little nudge, nudge, wink, wink.

[Unknown]

I die.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, the eye contact is very. I was just talking about this. The eye contact is very important, right? You have to invite the first step in the. Yeah, but how much in that nostalgic.

[Unknown]

Right.

[Jessica Capshaw]

How many in real life?

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, right, right, right. When does it get creepy?

[Unknown]

Like, when is it okay? Like, how many seconds?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, I think you guys, I'm talking to my friend. I'm talking to my friend and then I see her and I'm like, oh.

[Camilla Luddington]

My gosh, she's so cute.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, my God. I'm nine. I'm nine.

[Unknown]

See, I'm Nine.

[Camilla Luddington]

It could have been two seconds less.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes. But five seconds worked.

[Camilla Luddington]

Because she doesn't know if she should call 91 1.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Guess what? What can I say? I've got moves.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Camilla Luddington]

I'm gonna try it too.

[Unknown]

Okay. Okay. Go, go, go. Right.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay, Right. Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So we're talking with me at the bar. Yeah.

[Unknown]

I like you.

[Camilla Luddington]

But I was in. I was ready to leave, Matt. I was in.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Stefania, you're a nicer little guest than you are to me. Well, I'm just saying, maybe the reason why these people are not having sex is they're not from my generation where I. Banging was the first step of foreplay. And foreplay is a very important part of sex.

[Unknown]

That's a point.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And I think that what's happening is that there's so much digital. Yes. Diddling. There's no real foreplay. There's no look. There's no brush by. There's no. Like, Gray's made an entire meal. And they got me every time when they'd have Meredith and Derek in the elevator together and their eyes would touch.

[Unknown]

And you were like, definitely.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They don't have that anymore. So.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Starts with the eyes. You get on in there, and then. And then you brush by, and then you. And then there's the foreplay. And I think foreplay is probably happening less. And so people are missing out on the banging. The real banging. That's a good question. That's true banging.

[Unknown]

I think that is definitely true. I think there's multiple reasons today. They feel less pressure to have a relationship. Like, they're more focused on their career, they're more ambitious. So they just give less attention to having a relationship with boys or girls or, like.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah. Or making a family. Right. Exactly. Exactly.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

But then you always hear what ends up happening, which is that they bump up against the thing that's harder to control, which is like, the timeline of, you know, viability. I mean, babies, if they want to, you know.

[Camilla Luddington]

You know what? I think that we used to think that, like, it had to be done in 20s, early 30s. It's not true.

[Unknown]

It's not anymore. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, but. Well, no, but sometimes if you. That's a privilege on some level because you might need medical intervention, and that's expensive.

[Camilla Luddington]

So I think the generation's willing to take the risk.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

I think they know it, and they're willing to be like, you know what? It's still not right right now. And whatever happens will happen, and they're not feeling that pressure just to get it done. So that they can.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. It's very specific though, this, this generation thing.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And you know, I mean, yeah, they did go through Covid and everything else, but I don't. I don't know.

[Unknown]

I mean, I have two nieces. They're like 20, 19 and 23. And I was talking to one of them and she was like, I met somebody. And I was like, okay, what, what now? And she was like, well, I'm going to see them for a few weeks to see if I even like them as a person and then I'll take it from there. And I was like, I'm sorry, you're.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like, get eye banged. They missed the eye banging part. Otherwise I would have been straight into the.

[Unknown]

But I was like, why? This is so mature.

[Camilla Luddington]

So, so kind of growing up.

[Unknown]

And I was like, I am a disaster. I go into things like a freaking bomb and then there's fires and ashes and you're like, no way.

[Camilla Luddington]

Few weeks to see if I can.

[Unknown]

Like, as a person. Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

I text my nieces who are Gen Z and I said, why do you think you guys are having less sex as a generation?

[Jessica Capshaw]

What's wrong with you?

[Camilla Luddington]

And they were like, no one we know goes out.

[Unknown]

Wow. Oh, that's no good.

[Camilla Luddington]

They're like, we don't go out anymore.

[Unknown]

Right. Phone.

[Camilla Luddington]

And so I think it's the same. I think even just like, socially there's not, you know, everyone's sort of content because they have social access on their phones. Right. So they're feeling like they're being social. We would sit and be like, we haven't talked to anybody. We got to go, get out.

[Unknown]

We would get bored. There is a. It's so important to get bored because then you come up with things to do and, and say and to. To. I get out of the boredom and I feel like they don't get bored anymore.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Did you grow up feeling comfortable talking about sex?

[Unknown]

Oh, not at all. Yeah, I mean, it was like massive taboo. Yeah, yeah. You're suit. You too.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, God. I have said, I don't think I put all the letters that are in masturbation together to form masturbation until I was in my 30s. It just was not. It was. There were so many reasons why it was just. No. Yeah. What?

[Unknown]

Dance for me was my outlet for my sensuality because I felt like I was on stage, I was playing a character so I could be very sensual. So I loved it because I could express a part of me that I wasn't really allowed to express at home, obviously, or like amongst People that I was.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And also respected for it.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And seen as doing something wonderful.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Camilla Luddington]

How do your family feel that you're on a show that talks about also your ob? Yeah, we're talking about sex toys and vagina. Like, all of it.

[Unknown]

I don't think I've had a lot of conversations with them about it.

[Camilla Luddington]

That tracks.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That tracks.

[Unknown]

I feel like I have an older aunt that is very conservative. She was like, could you not have picked a different role? I was like, if you only knew how hard was to get this one.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's not original choice when you arrive in Los Angeles.

[Unknown]

But I was like, that's funny. It's just so. It lets you know how a little perspective they have. And I was like, you know, we're all the products of our own upbringing. She was brought up in a Catholic environment, very conservative. But I was like, ah, liberation. It felt so good to just talk about all of that. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

But for me, it was a late awakening as well. Like, I got my first vibrator five years ago, and I was like, what?

[Jessica Capshaw]

What was I doing before?

[Camilla Luddington]

Vibrator. Five years ago.

[Unknown]

Seven years ago.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, seven years ago.

[Unknown]

Seven years.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, can we ask which one? Because we had a whole sex toy episode. Do you know what it's called? Yes.

[Unknown]

I tried a few and I feel like I've settled on the little.

[Camilla Luddington]

What is it?

[Unknown]

Oh, the little curve.

[Camilla Luddington]

That's what we got gifted, right? The little curvy curve.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I don't remember the curvy curve.

[Unknown]

The curvy curve is good.

[Camilla Luddington]

Stefani, we have a really. We told the story in the pot. We have a really funny story about Jessica going and buying her very first vibrator. Because she was right.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It wasn't my first Camilla. It wasn't my first.

[Unknown]

One of them.

[Jessica Capshaw]

One of many.

[Unknown]

One of them, One of many.

[Camilla Luddington]

She was adding to the collection and she pretended in the store that it was like. Like a gift to somebody else.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I had a gift wrap.

[Camilla Luddington]

But when you went in to buy your first vibrator seven years ago.

[Unknown]

Oh, no, no, no. I couldn't. I ordered.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Did you order, like a sampling?

[Unknown]

I did. And then I figured I couldn't return them because obviously you can. Vibrators?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I don't know. A lot too many.

[Camilla Luddington]

I love that. I love that you did that for yourself, though. Are you seeing someone now?

[Unknown]

No.

[Camilla Luddington]

You are single?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Single. Mingle.

[Unknown]

What?

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, my God. Let's call it what it is. Owning a cute bra and panty set that fits just right and can be worn all day makes it easier for you to feel sexy and confident.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Adore Me is an intimate apparel brand that was the first of its kind to offer a full range of of styles and sizes for all body types.

[Camilla Luddington]

Their value propositions are products with a great fit, affordable prices and inclusive range of sizes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

New customers can get bra and panty sets for as low as 1995.

[Camilla Luddington]

Adormi offers playful lingerie in over 67 different sizes, so you're bound to find a style that's just so you and they have affordable styles to fit any budget.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Adore Me has inclusive size ranges with over 67 sizes from extra small to 4x. Adore Me was the first intimate apparel brand to offer its full range of styles across all sizes and each month.

[Camilla Luddington]

They drop a new seasonal collection so there's always new styles to check out.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I personally get a little girly, I love a bow, I love a little lace, I love the way it fits and I always love knowing that I feel supported underneath my clothes.

[Camilla Luddington]

Shop now@ adore me.com February is the.

[Stefania Spampinato]

Month of love and we all deserve a little something special. Dime Beauty is having their annual Valendine sale right now where you can get 25% off everything with code VALENDIGM, it's the perfect excuse to refresh your beauty routine or pick out a thoughtful gift. At Dime, Clean is more than a standard, it's their promise. Dedicated to skin conscious ingredients, they focus on creating beauty, skincare, body care and fragrances that are safe, gentle and free from harsh chemicals. With Dime, you can trust what you're putting on your skin every single day. If you're looking for the perfect nighttime anti aging cream, their TBT cream is a must try. It's packed with clean age defying ingredients that nourish and hydrate your skin while you sleep. But don't just take my word for it. Over 30005 star reviews speak for themselves. Whether it's skincare, fragrance or a little bit of both, Dime has something for everyone. Visit dimebeautyco.com and use code VALENDIME for 25% off right now during their Valentine Day sale. Grab your favorites before it's over. Dimebeautyco.com My brother in law died suddenly and now my sister and her kids have to sell their home. That's why I told my husband we could not put off getting life insurance any longer. An agent offered us a 10 year $500,000 policy for nearly $50 a month. Then we called selectquote selectquote found us identical coverage for only $19 a month. A savings of $369 a year.

[Unknown]

Whether you need a $500,000 policy or a 5 million dollar policy, select quote could save you more than 50% on term life insurance. For your free quote, go to selectqu selectquote.com that's selectquote.com selectquote we shop, you save. Full details on example [e-mail] commercials tired.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Of the winter cold? Don't worry. Spring break season is right around the corner.

[Camilla Luddington]

And at cheap Caribbean vacations, it doesn't matter if you're traveling as a family or going on an adults only getaway. They have beach deals for all types of all inclusive vacays.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Just book your spring break travel in March or April to unlock an extra $250 off your package price.

[Camilla Luddington]

This offer is valid through February 27th on vacation packages of four nights or more.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Don't wait. Book now@cheap Caribbean.com.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay, so we talked about sex in Chicago ago.

[Unknown]

Yes, we did.

[Camilla Luddington]

And you had read a book or many books about sex?

[Unknown]

Several.

[Camilla Luddington]

Several.

[Unknown]

Yeah. And I'm in my sex revolution era.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Right.

[Camilla Luddington]

So let's talk about the sex revolution era.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay.

[Camilla Luddington]

What started the sex revolution era for you?

[Unknown]

I feel like there was so much I didn't know and I was like, I'm having a gr. Like a great time having sex on my own. Like being sexual on my own.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And when there is a partner involved, it's always so hard that it's like so much people pleasing you don't want. I feel like we don't get told how to communicate our needs. We don't get. We don't get taught how to prioritize ourselves and our pleasure. It always like, you know, it's always like the other person and you're like, I want to make sure that they're comfortable. Yeah, I'm sure that they orgasm and you want to. And in doing that, I feel like we. I was fully neglecting myself and I was like, hang on a second, let me read more about it. And it's also these, like, I think porn messed us up because it is like this perception that sex is vaginal intercourse. When 80% of women statistics, again, do not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse alone. They need. Every time I say this, I think about Karina because she said it in one of the first episodes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes, I did.

[Unknown]

Perfect little bundle on the outside. We need outside similar stimulation. Like there's a beautiful book called come as you are.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay.

[Unknown]

Is that cool? People read it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I've not. I I have it. I might even have it as an audio book. But I. I've heard of it. And people rave about it.

[Camilla Luddington]

Tell me. I. I don't know what this is.

[Unknown]

We're all different. And I feel like embracing our differences is such an important part of our own sexuality. And figuring out what is it that we like, what is it that we don't like, and learning how to communicate that to our partner. Like, listen, I need. Need.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, this.

[Unknown]

I need that. I'm not comfortable with this. And I feel like. I feel like I've always felt bad saying I don't like this. It's so funny because I feel like I'm a pretty confident person in real life. But then in intimate settings, it is like this, like, weird old school. Like, the woman has to please.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah. But also, don't you remember, like, again, reaching way back into my memory. But you would do the, like, you do the scoot or the, like, you'd, like, move. Like, if something was happening sexual, you would be like, you would, like, you wouldn't want to say, like, you're not there, or like, I need you to go to the left or the right. I agree. Like, no one. It didn't. No one made it, like, a thing that you could instruct or even, like, it would feel like instruction as opposed to sexy.

[Camilla Luddington]

Sexy. So you would literally rule your body.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like, you'd be like, yeah, you would.

[Camilla Luddington]

Feel like you're ruining the moment by being like.

[Unknown]

You also feel like there's something wrong with you because corn shows you the women do it like that, and they're totally happy with that. And I'm like, but I'm not, so there's something wrong with me. And so reading that book kind of makes you understand that there's nothing wrong with each and every one of us, and it's okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

But you have to have both partners.

[Unknown]

You have to have somebody that makes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You have one partner. That's. Yes, that. And that. And also, it's like, if you've seen one vagina, you've seen one vagina. And also, I was like, only like, you know, yesterday, years old, but not quite, but very close to when literally, I didn't even know that vaginas looked as different as they do.

[Camilla Luddington]

We literally just had this conversation. I had no vaginas. I didn't know that vaginas could look so different.

[Unknown]

So different.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And I had no idea. So different penises come in lots of different shapes and sizes.

[Camilla Luddington]

Have a lot of penis.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, Vaginas do, too.

[Unknown]

Okay.

[Camilla Luddington]

Going Back to sex.

[Unknown]

I feel like this is one thing that pisses me off about penises and vaginas. That we women, for us is so much harder to have casual sex. I've never been able to have a one night stand. I think they're so overrated.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I think I was like, so you never have.

[Camilla Luddington]

I've never had a one night stand.

[Unknown]

I never had a one night stand. I tried the casual sex, but I think I'm doing it wrong because I'm fully.

[Camilla Luddington]

There's nothing casual about it.

[Unknown]

No. Because my freaking oxytocin kicks in. And even though the person I was like, I'm not into this person, but I was like, I'll reach out just because. To be nice. Thank you. And then I end up getting freaking ghosted by people that I didn't care about in the first place. And then my ego is like all.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Flared off, like, yeah, yeah. And now you didn't do it right.

[Camilla Luddington]

This is wrong. But wait, this is the conversation that we had in Chicago that I found really fascinating. And you were telling me about that oxytocin. Yes. And so can you tell it to our listeners right now? Because I was like, whoa.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh.

[Unknown]

Apparently when women have sex for the first time, they immediately release oxytocin, which is the hormone of love. They call it night, makes you feel happy and in love. And men only release testosterone. So if you happen to have a one night stand with a man, the woman walks away from it feeling like, oh, my God, I love it. Messaging. And the guy's like, boo, boo. I go Starbucks. I go do something else. And they.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Even if it was bad sex.

[Unknown]

Yes, even if it was bad sex. And men only released oxytocin when they start developing feelings for the other person.

[Camilla Luddington]

So there really is no emotional, almost casual sex for a lot of women.

[Unknown]

I feel like maybe there is.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, not one size fits all. Let's go back to that. Do you know women that are good at it? Do you do casual sex?

[Unknown]

I wish. I mean, what's their secret? Are they just very secure? Maybe emotionally, because I'm a nice thing.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's not me. So I don't know. But I'm trying to think of what they reported expectations I think would be the number one thing I'd say when they, when they, like when they went into it, it was very specifically for that. Yeah, I'm going to have sex. I'm going to have sex.

[Unknown]

My first time always sucks because I'm not comfortable. I don't feel safe. I don't feel Secure. So I'm like, why am I even doing this? Yeah, what's the point? And so I've stopped and the casual sex is not for me, but I feel like. Yeah, is there.

[Camilla Luddington]

Have you set, like a new rule for yourself where you're like, you have you.

[Unknown]

You gave me a rule. There was like five dates.

[Camilla Luddington]

Well, I had. I had back in the day. Yeah, I was a five day rule. You had to take me out on five dates.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

I felt like by five dates I would be able to have a vibe and I would sort of know, like, what are you maybe looking for?

[Stefania Spampinato]

A little bit.

[Camilla Luddington]

And then I could make the decision myself, but also make them wait.

[Unknown]

Okay, so this is my problem. See, that's that I meet somebody and I see and I have a very objective perception of who they are. Red flags, everything. The minute I get intimate with them, the red flags disappear. And I only see the good things.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, it's all good.

[Unknown]

And so I am gonna start adopting my niece's thing a few weeks.

[Camilla Luddington]

A few weeks.

[Unknown]

See if I like you as a person.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yes.

[Unknown]

And like, also listen to my first, like, instinct.

[Jessica Capshaw]

See, I don't know anything about anything in the dating world, but I feel like now with all this optional that I hear about happening in the app world that. Because, I mean, let's face it, it's not like every time you meet someone or the first time you meet someone, it's like giant fireworks going off. Right. So let's say you like someone, but you're still trying to figure out if you really like them.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Then if you're waiting all this time, is there this moment where the other person is like, okay, great, I'm waiting. So I guess if I'm waiting, this is casual. And so if this is casual, then I'm still. This is what I'm imagining again.

[Camilla Luddington]

I don't have this.

[Unknown]

I was the queen of blue balls when I was younger. Why did they tell us queen of bull? Do you know how many times blue.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Balls came up and, like, I felt bad? Oh, my God. I gave you.

[Unknown]

Oh, I loved it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

How could I have constantly given you.

[Camilla Luddington]

You loved it.

[Unknown]

I loved it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You're like higher power.

[Unknown]

Because I lose the power whenever.

[Jessica Capshaw]

See, I was, I was. I clearly have just established myself as more of a people placer than you. Oh, no, you have blue balls. How can we fix it? I'm so sorry about that.

[Camilla Luddington]

I didn't give a about blue balls either.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I did not feel the pressure.

[Camilla Luddington]

Right now you're on the sexual revolutionary journey. For yourself?

[Unknown]

Yeah, I tried the, like, I'm gonna have sex like a man thing. It didn't work out for me.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay, so it didn't work out for you.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's okay. You know what? You have a basis now. You have a starting point.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And maybe you're just not good at it yet. Yet. No.

[Unknown]

I think I'm going back to my twenties. How I used to handle relationships in my twenties. Just one more time. Be easy. Yes.

[Camilla Luddington]

Do you feel more confident now that if you were to get into a relationship and become intimate, that you can vocalize what you need?

[Unknown]

Yeah, definitely.

[Camilla Luddington]

That's awesome.

[Jessica Capshaw]

She couldn't handle my 5 second stare a second ago.

[Camilla Luddington]

No, I do. We believe she loved it. I said, calm it down. I started sweating.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I. Sorry.

[Camilla Luddington]

She started sweating.

[Jessica Capshaw]

See, I think that that's sort of a magical, wonderful thing, and I think it's got to do with mindset and also how your life unfolds. But looking at your life and saying, I'm gonna go back to where I was in my 20s and be clearly so much more grown. The other thing that I thought of when I was thinking about you and sitting here with you today was that you. I see you with the fans and I see the way that Station 19 has rolled out for you and just this incredible presence and relationship that you created on television for people to see and to experience and to again. I see people with you. I see people interact and like, they're so grateful to you for having brought this role because it allowed for them to see themselves in a show that was mainstream and wonderful and accepted and whole and all these things. So you have done that. And that is so beautiful to watch. And I think that it made me also think of when I started and it wasn't so much more or so much before you, but when I came to Grey's and it was revealed in episode three that my character was gay, there were no other gay series, regular characters on television. We were doing something that other, like, it just had kind of hadn't been done. And it was paired with the fact that I had spent my entire career up until then doing half hour sitcoms where wasn't a lot of sexy time. And then I was on, you know, a legal show. A lot of sexy time. And then here I was in this show then, creating a character. A lot of sexy time. And then having all this. And I had sort of seen myself as this, like, you know, I'm just gonna be, you know, I don't even know what I had pegged myself as. But I hadn't seen myself as sexy. I just didn't. I didn't own myself as a sexy person. And so I look at the time that, you know, we were telling all those stories, and I'm really proud that Sara and I were able to bring these scenes to life, given that I kind of wasn't so confident and then, you know, you and I getting to play and being a little bit more confident. But again, what was the first thing I said? I just had a baby.

[Unknown]

Ye.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And, like, I do think that when you talk about sex, this is all going back to whether you're having it or you're not. I think that having a vibrant, healthy, and robust sex life does maybe come sidesaddle, or at least there's a sidecar of confidence, you know, knowing who you are coming into a relationship and being like, this is not, like, this is how I like it. Take it or leave it. But, like, this is how I like it, you know? Like, I like a little of this first. And again, the foreplay and maybe, you know, I don't know, just having role models that are showing you, like, that the dance is fun and makes, like, coming a lot more fun and feel a lot better when you have that. Even if it's gonna be casual. I guess I'm making this up. I don't know. But, like, you've gotten some sort of lead up. It's not just like, you know, you're straight into it, because I don't think. Think I'm not a doctor, but I don't think that that's how, you know, a lot of people feel about it. I just don't think that they can go straight into, like, banging.

[Unknown]

And not at least women. Mostly women. I think, for us is a lot more.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, but.

[Unknown]

Yeah, 100. Like, I think even men, like. But I feel like, yeah, in general, like, we need a little bit more than just, hey, you want to hook up?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

It's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, Definitely.

[Camilla Luddington]

All right.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Basically, I think that Stefania and I's characters need to come back to Grey's Anatomy and have a take two.

[Camilla Luddington]

I would love that, honestly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, my God.

[Camilla Luddington]

You know what, though? Station 19 fans are not. You know what?

[Unknown]

Let's pitch this. Let's pitch this. And there is the chemistry, but they never do anything because she. And. Which is so there's a tension.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Attention, attention.

[Unknown]

Where these two characters, you can feel the tension, but they. I'm like, kiss. And they never do. But it's so amazing.

[Camilla Luddington]

Let's Call it what it is. Owning a cute bra and panty set that fits just right and can be worn all day makes it easier for you to feel sexy and confident.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Adore Me is an intimate apparel brand that was the first of its kind to offer a full range of styles and sizes for all body types.

[Camilla Luddington]

Their value propositions are products with a great fit, affordable prices and inclusive range of sizes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

New customers can get bra and panty sets for as low as 19.95.

[Camilla Luddington]

Adormi offers playful lingerie in over 67 different sizes, so you're bound to find a style that's just so you and they have affordable styles to fit any budget budget.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Adore Me has inclusive size ranges with over 67 sizes from extra small to 4x. Adore Me was the first intimate apparel brand to offer its full range of styles across all sizes and each month.

[Camilla Luddington]

They drop a new seasonal collection so there's always new styles to check out.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I personally get a little girly, I love a bow, I love a little lace, I love the way it fits and I always love knowing that I feel supported underneath my clothes.

[Stefania Spampinato]

Shop [e-mail] February is the month of love and we all deserve a little something special. Dime Beauty is having their annual Valen Dime sale right now where you can get 25% off everything with code VALENDYME, it's the perfect excuse to refresh your beauty routine or pick out a thoughtful gift. At Dime, Clean is more than a standard, it's their promise. Dedicated to skin conscious ingredients, they focus on creating beauty, skin care, body care and fragrances that are safe, gentle and free from harsh chemicals. With Dime, you can trust what you're putting on your skin every single day. If you're looking for the perfect nighttime anti aging cream, their TBT cream is a must try. It's packed with clean, age defying ingredients that nourish and hydrate your skin while you sleep. But don't just take my word for it. Over 30005 star reviews speak for themselves. Whether it's skincare, fragrance or a little bit of both, Dime has something for everyone. Visit dimebeautyco.com and use code VALENDYME for 25% off right now during their Valen Diem day sale. Grab your favorites before it's over. Dimebeauty co.com My brother in law died suddenly and now my sister and her kids have to sell their home. That's why I told my husband we could not put off getting life insurance any longer. An agent offered us a 10 year $500,000 policy for nearly $50 a month. Then we called Selectquote. Selectquote found us identical coverage for only $19 a month. A savings of $369 a year.

[Unknown]

Whether you need a $500,000 policy or a 5 million dollar policy, SelectQuote could save you more than 50% on term life insurance. For your free quote, go to selectquote.com selectquote.com that's selectquote.com selectquote we shop, you save full details on example [e-mail] commercials.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Tired of the winter cold? Don't worry. Spring break season is right around the corner.

[Camilla Luddington]

And at cheap Caribbean vacations, it doesn't matter if you're traveling as a family going on an adults only getaway. They have beach deals for all types of all inclusive vacays.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Just book your spring break travel in March or April to unlock an extra $250 off your package price.

[Camilla Luddington]

This offer is valid through February 27th on vacation packages of four nights or more.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Don't wait. Book now@cheap Caribbean.com.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay, ready for this? These are 10 questions. Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, you gotta. You've gotta ask.

[Camilla Luddington]

Gloria asks, what is your biggest turn on.

[Unknown]

On.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Patience.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, wow.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Tolerance. Patience. Because.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh my God. That's very sexy.

[Unknown]

Somebody's patient, it means that he's going to. They're going to take their time.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh my God.

[Camilla Luddington]

That's a great insight.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Lena says, what is your favorite position in bed?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Wow. What the. I was just so you know, you're considering you while I was my favorite part of it.

[Camilla Luddington]

Kissing is your favorite part.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Kissing. Yeah.

[Unknown]

I can make out forever. Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

I know. Why. Kissing. I know. Yeah. I love a makeout sesh.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay. Estella, this happens more than you would think. Estella wrote in and said, I am 20 and have never had an orgasm in my life. I have tried toys and I feel like nothing works. Do you have any advice?

[Unknown]

And I feel like you're not alone in like, so you're not alone in that. That's. I feel like a super important thing. I feel like there's a lot of resources. Resources out there. I feel like come as you are is a great resource. There's also a lot of sex therapists actually do physical manipulation that can help with like figuring out what some blocks can be. It's mostly. Usually it's mental. It's psychological. It's like you decide that you can't and it's like yes, you make yourself not able to. But I feel like Come as your is a great resource. And I feel like there's a. Actually a great TV series on Netflix about sex specifically. And there is a few therapists that can be. I mean, any.

[Camilla Luddington]

Do you know remember what it's called?

[Unknown]

I can't.

[Stefania Spampinato]

I can't.

[Unknown]

Sex life. It could be that.

[Camilla Luddington]

Possibly called sex life.

[Unknown]

Possibly called sex life. I feel like I'll get back. Maybe I'll comment on your guys on the podcast once it comes out with, like, specific resources. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, absolutely.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Janice asked, did you learn anything about sex from Karina?

[Unknown]

Well, I feel like my sex revolution started with her. Like, because of her study, I started researching and looking into it and, you know, like, Esther Perel was a massive inspiration.

[Camilla Luddington]

She is.

[Unknown]

And I feel like all those dildos. I love how free and, like, willing to talk.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I want to have Esther on this show. So maybe you need to come back for that.

[Unknown]

Oh, my God.

[Camilla Luddington]

Would you come back on for it?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, my God. Let's do it. She's amazing because she's also. What I think is so magical about her is that she really is talking about the mind and the body.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And the relationship, friendships. Because. And she just makes everything okay.

[Unknown]

Everything. Judgment.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Just whatever it is, it's okay.

[Unknown]

Mating in captivity. Such a good book.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's crazy. Meeting in captivity. Oh, such a book. Why'd you skip over the first question?

[Unknown]

Anyway, Sorry.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Why don't you read that out loud?

[Camilla Luddington]

Jessica Capshaw would like me to read Lisa's. What is it? What was it like to kiss the queen? Jessica Capshaw. The queen must be a type. The queen's a typo, obviously. But what was hot. Hot.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It was, though. I missed you.

[Unknown]

We made it like a fair amount.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, I actually think. But I think one of the sexiest things that Karina and Arizona did was a little bit the dance of like. I feel like Arizona was always, like, trying to be at work and somehow Karina was always just, like, right over her. She.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, I think I can.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like, and I was always like, I'm. I'm work. I'm working, I'm working, I'm working.

[Unknown]

But yeah, but yes, but no.

[Jessica Capshaw]

My God. I just had a total memory.

[Unknown]

What do you remember the original scene of the year? Nibbling.

[Camilla Luddington]

Please tell.

[Unknown]

Please do tell. I just thought about that too. I just thought about that too.

[Jessica Capshaw]

What is it?

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, my God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, my God. Well, I'm actually so happy that I. I'm so.

[Camilla Luddington]

You never remember anything? I never remember. Oh, my God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

This is not self serving, but this Is so amazing that I just talked about what I talked about. Cause it makes this make sense. Okay. Yeah. So again, everything I've already said, I'm back. I just had a baby. I did. I really didn't consider myself super, like, sexual. I didn't have that, like, confidence in coming to these scenes. And so the scene gets written and I read it probably before the table.

[Unknown]

Read ends and the table read. That's what we read. That's what we read.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Talk about making me red sweaty. And like I was like, what happened? Okay, this is what I remember. But this could be different.

[Unknown]

Let's see.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Essentially it was that she comes in while I'm working.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And has the over the shoulder moment, but is under the table with a hand, fully, like fully hand. A hand giving some stimulation. Stimulating, stimulating the work.

[Camilla Luddington]

And you're using your hand to sort of down there.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes.

[Camilla Luddington]

And I. A gray slip.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I turned every shade of red, Every shade of red, shade of red. And was like, did you shoot him?

[Unknown]

No. Because ABC was like, are you crazy?

[Jessica Capshaw]

And you could be like underneath the table, like, what is happening?

[Camilla Luddington]

So hot.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I need to make my heart start like beating faster than normal. I was like, oh my God. Because I forgot about it.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh my God.

[Unknown]

I just remember too. That's crazy. Something was said that made us think about it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh my goodness.

[Camilla Luddington]

It was kissing the Jessica Capshaw.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, you know what? I think you stimulated that memory by saying, kiss the queen Jessica Capshaw. When you said those lines, I can't.

[Camilla Luddington]

Really read it right.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Do you want to borrow my glasses and say.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay, enough of that. Anyway.

[Unknown]

Enough.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay, okay. Hannah asks and we started this. I want to answer this too. What are your icks during sex?

[Jessica Capshaw]

What are turn offs?

[Camilla Luddington]

Can I go first?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Did you answer? I did, yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Wait, what did you say?

[Unknown]

Smell.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Smell.

[Unknown]

Oh, wait, like the natural smell.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Just went straight to whatever she was thinking.

[Camilla Luddington]

Smell. Have you ever had a. Oh, you've had a stinky.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, hasn't everyone?

[Camilla Luddington]

I'm trying to think. No, I don't think I've had a.

[Unknown]

Stinky like full on day left. I had to change the sheets. Like at 3:00 in the morning. Take off the sheets.

[Camilla Luddington]

Stanley's Steamers. Next morning.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Stanley Steamers.

[Unknown]

What's that?

[Camilla Luddington]

What's the Stanley Steamer? That's carpets cleaner.

[Unknown]

Yeah, that's what I did. Stanley Steamers at 3 o'clock in the morning. Shower, wash the hair, like everything. I was like, what was the smell?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, it was expensive.

[Unknown]

It was just wrong.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Just wrong.

[Unknown]

Just so wrong.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I was like, oh, so it was like body odor.

[Unknown]

I think it was like natural pheromones. Pheromone.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Not a match.

[Unknown]

Not agree.

[Camilla Luddington]

Did you smell it before the close?

[Unknown]

Maybe it was body odor. Maybe it was body odor.

[Camilla Luddington]

God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, I think that's actually might be the best ick that I've ever heard.

[Camilla Luddington]

Well, I was gonna say I really can't stand it when guys keep their socks on.

[Unknown]

Oh my God.

[Camilla Luddington]

They're ready for that.

[Unknown]

Okay, that's funny.

[Camilla Luddington]

Keep their socks down.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Don't bless him.

[Camilla Luddington]

No, I'm not specifically talking about Matt.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Matt.

[Camilla Luddington]

Matt's gonna say Matt's Gary.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Come on. And he's gonna be risky business. The balcony.

[Unknown]

Risky business.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Just the size don't out that I.

[Camilla Luddington]

Have and I have girlfriends who have had the experience where a guy's decided to keep their socks on. Why are the feet not naked?

[Jessica Capshaw]

The rest of us. There may be a real good reason.

[Unknown]

There may be.

[Camilla Luddington]

Have you ever seen.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I got. Well cuz that could be a. That would be a nick for me. Have you ever seen some of the nasty, nasty toes that some men are walking around with?

[Unknown]

No. Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Well maybe the socks should be on there.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Maybe they're doing you a favor.

[Unknown]

Could you date them long term?

[Jessica Capshaw]

No. If they kept their socks on all the time?

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah. No.

[Jessica Capshaw]

If they had disgusting. I think that you would just lovingly to get a little pedicure.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And then feel really bad for the person that was attending to them. Yeah, a little.

[Camilla Luddington]

It's Valentine's.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Valentine's Day month.

[Unknown]

That's what.

[Camilla Luddington]

Maybe pedicures are going to be the.

[Jessica Capshaw]

The gift that keeps. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

What is your turn off? We gotta dig back into our dining.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No. God. Dig back into the dating days.

[Camilla Luddington]

You know the dating days.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I. Oh I mean remember when you had this problem before? I mean. Cause you basically you said that all my ex were just really actually like no's like you just could not do that. I think this one guy smell is such a good one. I mean it really is. Cause it's actually instantly repellent. But I definitely like kissed a boy who man he was man. I kissed him man who had breath like it's his. He smelled like hot dogs. And I was like this can't. I don't even think I can do this. Like a hot dog. Yeah. I actually tried a second time. I was like maybe this is a fluke. And then I know it's not the.

[Unknown]

Worst, but it's not great either.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, no, no.

[Unknown]

How do you feel about cigarette smell? I kind of love it. If I knew something.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, that's because you're like Italian.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And also my advocate. My funny part of the hot dog smell guy was that it happened like super early in my 20s. Like New York, like makeout sash. And then he went on to become very famous.

[Unknown]

Oh.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And then when I saw him, whenever I saw him, I was like, you may be famous, but your breath smells like hot dogs.

[Unknown]

We won the name. We won the name. Initials, initials, initials.

[Camilla Luddington]

This is one of those after the pod conversations. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's call it what it is. Owning a cute bra and panty set that fits just right and can be worn all day makes it easier for you to feel sexy and confident.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Adore Me is an intimate apparel brand that was the first of its kind to offer a full range of styles and sizes for all body types.

[Camilla Luddington]

Their value propositions are products with a great fit, affordable prices and inclusive range of sizes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

New customers can get bra and panty sets for as low as $19.99.

[Camilla Luddington]

Adormi offers playful lingerie in over 67 different sizes, so you're bound to find a style that's just so you and they have affordable styles to fit any budget.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Adore Me has inclusive size ranges with over 67 sizes from extra small to 4x. Adore Me was the first intimate apparel brand to offer its full range of styles across all sizes.

[Camilla Luddington]

And each month they drop a new seasonal collection. So there's always new styles to check out.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I personally get a little girly. I love a bow, I love a little lace, I love the way it fits and I always love knowing that I feel supported underneath my clothes.

[Stefania Spampinato]

Shop now@adore me.com February is the month of love and we all deserve a little something special. Dime Beauty is having their annual Valen Dime sale right now where you can get 25% off everything with Code Valendyme, it's the perfect excuse to refresh your beauty routine or pick out a thoughtful gift. At Dime Clean is more than a standard. It's their promise. Dedicated to skin ingredients, they focus on creating beauty, skin care, body care and fragrances that are safe, gentle and free from harsh chemicals. With daim, you can trust what you're putting on your skin every single day. If you're looking for the perfect nighttime anti aging cream, their TBT cream is a must try. It's packed with clean, age defying ingredients that nourish and hydrate your skin while you sleep. But don't just take my word for it. Over 30005 star reviews speak for themselves. Whether it's skincare, fragrance or a little bit of both, Dime has something for everyone. Visit dimebeautyco.com and use code VALENDYME for 25% off right now during their Valen Diem day sale. Grab your favorites before it's over. Dime beautyco.com My brother in law died suddenly and now my sister and her kids have to sell their home. That's why I told my husband we could not put off getting life insurance any longer. An agent offered us a 10 year $500,000 policy for nearly $50 a month. Then we called select selectquote found us identical coverage for only $19 a month, a savings of $369 a year.

[Unknown]

Whether you need a $500,000 policy or a 5 million dollar policy, select quote could save you more than 50% on term life insurance. For your free quote, go to selectquote.com selectquote.com that's selectquote.com selectquote we shop, you sell. Save full details on example [e-mail] commercials.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Tired of the winter cold? Don't worry. Spring break season is right around the corner.

[Camilla Luddington]

And at Cheap Caribbean Vacations, it doesn't matter if you're traveling as a family or going on an adults only getaway. They have beach deals for all types of all inclusive vacays.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Just book your spring break travel in March or April to unlock an extra $250 off your package price.

[Camilla Luddington]

This offer is valid through February 27th on vacation packages of four nights or more.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Don't wait. Book now at Cheap Caribbean.com.

[Camilla Luddington]

Isabel how important is sexual compatibility for you in a relationship?

[Unknown]

Everything. Because otherwise you're friends.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Agreed.

[Jessica Capshaw]

This is my question. It's not from anyone, but it's an old question and we've been debating it for a while because it happened. Happened. We probably introduced it to the crew in the summer. Do you feel.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That it is possible for a man and a woman to truly just be friends?

[Unknown]

Yes. No. Yes.

[Camilla Luddington]

We have differing opinions on it. She says. Yes. I think, I think no.

[Unknown]

But I, I have some, some of my closest friends are men.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yes.

[Unknown]

A lot of them are women. But I am. So I have friends which when I we met, we had a lot of chemistry, but we never went for it.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

And so the chemistry is always kind of somewhere.

[Camilla Luddington]

That's what I'm saying.

[Unknown]

But we've never, we've made the choice. And now the thought of having sex with Them. It makes me giggle. I'm like, never. Because we're like past that.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah. Or you're in a relationship. They're in a relationship, and you wouldn't. Yeah.

[Unknown]

But I feel like we just been so long.

[Camilla Luddington]

I mean, I have to say I. I say it's not possible. Of course it's possible. My very, very best guy friend. My very, very best friend is a guy and he married us. He married me and Matt. And we can totally. Like.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I was there for it.

[Camilla Luddington]

We went. You were there for it. We could go and we could go to the movie theater and we could have dinner. However, I do think it's extremely rare. I think that, like, could you. If you were both single, could you go have dinner and it. And get drunk and it not even be like a little like.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No.

[Unknown]

There is always that, but it is never acted on.

[Camilla Luddington]

Okay.

[Unknown]

I have a lot of guy friends that are single and we've been drunk and I feel like. And then we go home.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

But nothing has ever happened. But it's kind of fun.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I would add to this though, that I feel like if you are friends and there is anything that could make it tip away or whatever, that once you do, you can never go back to being right.

[Unknown]

Exactly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I know.

[Camilla Luddington]

That sucks. It changes for sure.

[Unknown]

And said also. That's why don't go.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I think that's why you don't go as an. Especially in the adult. Yeah.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I have one where I wish I.

[Unknown]

You didn't.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I. I mean, listen, you can't wish that you didn't because I certainly enjoyed that. The moment of our relationship. But ultimately it wasn't worth it because.

[Unknown]

You lost your friendship.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's a friendship.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah. That sucks.

[Unknown]

That's the thing that I hate about relationships, that a lot of time when a relationship ends, you're like, where does the love go after five years, eight years? So you were everything for one another. Why can you not stay friends?

[Camilla Luddington]

I hate that that makes sense.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I don't think the love goes away. I think it becomes quiet. Well, I just think that you can. I just. I think it would be a very rare ala. Please write in and tell us if it's happened to you where it's. It's just so impossible to think that these two people that are in relationship, that were friends that knew each other like that, are then in relationship in a romantic way. They're not gonna stop liking each other in the exact same moment. And then I think our ego comes in and then we go like. Or you Feel like on some level now this friendship that was always equal is now not because you had something together and now you don't. And you know who it was that was like, true. This is not for us. So true.

[Unknown]

It takes a very mature set of people, I think, to be able to do that. And it also takes time. I feel like you might be able to do that, but after, like, maybe being apart for an extra extended period of time.

[Camilla Luddington]

Agreed.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Unknown]

It makes me very sad.

[Camilla Luddington]

Is self pleasure important to you?

[Unknown]

Oh, super important. I have a glorious time with myself.

[Camilla Luddington]

Amazing. We love that. Yeah, I'm glad. No, because I feel like Grace does a great job of this, by the way. I feel like for guys, for so long, they were like, masturbation was like, yeah, that's. Guys do that. But for girls it was like, oh, don't you feel that? And so, like, I just feel like that's gotta change. So I love. Yeah, we've talked about it. But I love hearing the answer. Answer. Okay. Helen wants to know, in real life, did your sexual preferences change at all when you decided to play a bisexual woman?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh.

[Unknown]

Oh, that's a good question. It definitely. I definitely ask myself questions. Yeah, I've definitely fantasized over, like, things that I were not really my.

[Camilla Luddington]

My first kiss was with a girl.

[Unknown]

Like, my first ever kiss when I was a kid was like, to another girl. So I feel like it's always been.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like, everyone's or is that like, new? You didn't kiss a girl when you were little?

[Camilla Luddington]

No, I've never kissed a girl.

[Unknown]

Interesting. But, like, I had full on, like, wife and wife played dates with this little girl. Like, she would play husband and wife. Yeah, that's cute.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, that's really cute.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Mine was more like practice. Yeah, yeah, more like. I see people doing this. Have you seen people doing this?

[Unknown]

What?

[Jessica Capshaw]

No. Kissing practice.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Apparently they didn't skip workshop.

[Jessica Capshaw]

But this is a workshop.

[Unknown]

Workshop.

[Camilla Luddington]

But this. Yeah, yeah, but this question is not a workshop question. This question is.

[Unknown]

Yeah, I feel like definitely. I feel like again, my sex revolution phase started with, like, grays and station. I feel like I started, like, ooh, exploring.

[Camilla Luddington]

Do you feel more open to sort of like, whoever you meet, it doesn't matter.

[Unknown]

Male crushes of men and women all the time.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

I don't know. But I'm like, right now I'm, like, trying to give myself. I'm gonna date myself for a bit.

[Camilla Luddington]

I feel like I need to do.

[Unknown]

That and figure out.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, yeah, I think that's. I think that's really cool. Have you talked about that before?

[Unknown]

No.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, my God, they're gonna go crazy. Gonna go crazy. No, I think it's such a beautiful thing because I think that a lot of people, like, there's a girl here who's written to us saying, I've never had an orgasm in life. Right?

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

And she's 20. 20.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

And to be in our 40s and still figuring it out and knowing that it's a journey, I just think is very powerful to share with anybody.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. I think that that's such an evolved way to come at it.

[Unknown]

Yeah. Literally, I feel like, late, like. Like a few weeks ago. I went out and that waitress was super cute. Like, tomboy short hair, like. Yeah, cute. And we were flirting the whole dinner, and I was like, wow, I think I need to have sex with a woman because I think that's the only time that I will be able to put all the preconception of, like, having sex with a man away and, like, fully be present. Because I feel like that's what happens sometimes when you have sex. You're not present. You're like, yeah, can multitask naturally.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You're anti task. Yeah.

[Unknown]

You know, so you got one job here.

[Camilla Luddington]

Just so I understand, you're saying that you feel like you might be able to be more present with a woman.

[Unknown]

I think so.

[Camilla Luddington]

Interesting. What is it. What is it, though, that you.

[Unknown]

I think it's like a Bringing this social, like, baggage that we bring with ourselves. Like, we have to be a certain way with men. We have to be like. I feel like I've definitely used sex to manipulate somebody into, like, me more.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, sure.

[Unknown]

And I'm like, very interesting, all this. Where does that come from?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Unknown]

Why do I start? Like, it's definitely another thought that came from me. You know, I feel like I'm. I'm battling a little bit with, like, what's me and what stuff that people have told me, I've watched people do, and I'm.

[Camilla Luddington]

You're shaking it off.

[Unknown]

Yes.

[Camilla Luddington]

And so sex with a woman maybe wouldn't have all that noise.

[Unknown]

That pressure would just, like. Exactly, exactly. It wouldn't have all that noise. That's what it feels like.

[Camilla Luddington]

I love this.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Camilla Luddington]

This is a fant. Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I feel like you are in. I feel like you're in a. Like, your vibration is very evolved right now.

[Camilla Luddington]

Oh, yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like, I feel like it's all very.

[Camilla Luddington]

I can feel the journey.

[Unknown]

Yeah, for sure.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. I usually get to be older sister in this little duo, but I'm feeling younger. She's making younger right now.

[Camilla Luddington]

A little bit stupid being a stupid.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm not a. I love this. But I. I mean, dare I say, I do think for those that have their eyes and ears open to it, this kind of conversation is happening. And I think it's so incredibly important. Mm. Agreed to every age, right? I mean, reprogramming.

[Unknown]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We talk about it a lot where it's like, hit the reset button. That which has not served you. What the do you need it for anymore?

[Unknown]

Like, what's. Like subconscious programming and what's.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You know what the other book is? Cause you were talking about come as you are. The other one is she comes first.

[Unknown]

She comes first. I love Ian Kerner. So good. She's like, I read that. My God, I love it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

This is so hot.

[Unknown]

Those authors like hearing somebody. I. I'm listening. So listen to somebody explain how they're going to go down.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Pull over for a second. Hold on. Karina's on the side of the 101. Poor Matt in the come as you are. And she comes first.

[Unknown]

Authors of those books, which are Emily Nagoski. I think it's come as you are. Em Ker amount is she comes first.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Great.

[Camilla Luddington]

We have these authors on when you come on. Oh, my God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes. Okay, so them. And then Ester, you're going to be.

[Camilla Luddington]

Like our third guest.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Don't. She's going to be our third. She's our third.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, it feels right.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You can give her the look. I'll give her the look. Just don't give me that look.

[Camilla Luddington]

Should we just all, like, look at all look at one triangle look. Okay, we have to let you go. Thank you for being. Being just so open for the podcast and for all our listeners.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I mean, and open in life, truly. Every single time I see you, I so enjoy it. I love being with you. And thank you, thank you, thank you.

[Camilla Luddington]

Yeah, you're right.

[Unknown]

You guys, it's been such a pleasure. Thank you so much. This is.

[Camilla Luddington]

This is the first of many people. This is not Stefania's only podcast. True.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So let's call it.

[Camilla Luddington]

Let's call it the end of the episode.

[Unknown]

Love.

[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Unknown]

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[Camilla Luddington]

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