Call It You Drive Me Crazy

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Call It You Drive Me Crazy"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Call It What It Is
• Host/Author: iHeartPodcasts
• Episode: Call It You Drive Me Crazy
• Release Date: January 20, 2025

Hosts:

• Jessica Capshaw (Known for her role in Grey’s Anatomy)
• Camille Ludington (Camilla Luddington, also from Grey’s Anatomy)

---

1. Introduction and Episode Setup

The episode opens with Jessica Capshaw and Camille Ludington reuniting after a brief hiatus. They warmly welcome listeners back to "Call It What It Is," expressing their excitement to dive into the episode's main topics.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Capshaw [02:03]: "Well, hello, hello, hello, hello Call it crew. And welcome to another episode of Call it what It Is."
• Camille Ludington [02:35]: "Yeah, I had to do a pause because I was like wait."

2. Impact of the 2025 Wildfires in Los Angeles

The primary focus of this episode centers around the devastating wildfires that struck Los Angeles in early 2025. Jessica, residing in New York but with strong ties to the Palisades community in Los Angeles, shares her firsthand experiences and the rapid escalation of the fires.

Key Points:

• Rapid Spread and Destruction: Camille describes witnessing "smoke up on the hills" and the transformation of familiar neighborhoods into desolate landscapes within hours.
• Personal Losses: Jessica recounts personal losses, including the destruction of her high school area and cherished local spots like Beach Street Pizza and the yogurt shop.
• Community Response: Both hosts laud the heroic efforts of firefighters and international aid, including Canada's Super Scoopers, which provided much-needed water resources.

Notable Quotes:

• Camille Ludington [03:35]: "My house, as I'm talking right now, is still under an evacuation warning."
• Jessica Capshaw [05:39]: "There was not anything. And one particular video I got had, you couldn't tell where you were... and then all of a sudden, you see this corner... everything was gone. It was completely, completely gone."
• Jessica Capshaw [12:22]: "What these women and men are doing to help save people from these fires is absolutely Herculean."

3. Shoutouts and Community Support

The hosts extend their admiration to firefighters, labeling them as "superheroes," and acknowledge international assistance. They also encourage listeners to support those affected by directing them to the podcast's Instagram page, which features resources and ways to help.

Notable Quotes:

• Camille Ludington [13:05]: "I have to shout out Canada and Mexico. Oh, send help."
• Jessica Capshaw [14:07]: "Any little amount can go a long way at this point."

4. Parenting Conversations and Challenges

Transitioning from the immediate crisis, Jessica and Camille delve into discussions about parenting. They explore the complexities of raising children in today's world, highlighting the balance between providing guidance and allowing independence.

Key Points:

• Handling Misbehavior: Both hosts share strategies for addressing children's mistakes, emphasizing the importance of "redos" and acknowledging their own parenting slip-ups.
• Generational Differences: They discuss the evolving dynamics between parents and Gen Z children, noting the challenges of differing expectations and societal changes.
• Maintaining Open Communication: Jessica advocates for an "open suggestion box," allowing children to express their feelings and concerns freely.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Capshaw [18:18]: "I've been honest. There's also some parents that can drive me crazy when I watch them parenting their kids."
• Camille Ludington [25:38]: "I think part of that for me, that feeling for me is faith in like the universe figuring it out."

5. Listener Feedback: Voices of Adolescents

A significant segment of the episode features feedback from teenage listeners, sharing grievances about their parents' behaviors. The hosts read and respond to these anecdotes, providing empathy and practical advice.

Highlighted Listener Comments:

• Clara [44:08]: "My parents annoy me so much when they either tell me that I'm out too much or when I stay home, that I stay in too much."
• Courtney [62:37]: "My dad still buys me dolls. I am 23 years old. Listen, maybe they're collector's items."
• Hannah [63:05]: "My parents insist on having a conversation when I have my AirPods in listening to music. It's so annoying."

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Capshaw [44:23]: "Oh, Clara, I need more specifics."
• Camille Ludington [46:34]: "He's... He's a ketchup complainer. Oh, big time."
• Jessica Capshaw [59:41]: "I have a conflicted relationship with this."

6. Handling Overbearing Parents and Setting Boundaries

The hosts address the struggles of dealing with overbearing or narcissistic parents, offering insights into establishing healthy boundaries without severing familial ties.

Key Points:

• Let Them Theory: Inspired by Mel Robbins, Jessica explains the concept of accepting parental behaviors while deciding one's own level of engagement.
• Empowering Children: Emphasis on teaching children to communicate their needs and feelings effectively, even when faced with parental resistance.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Capshaw [48:07]: "Mel Robbins, you're next. Please, Please. Mel Robbins."
• Camille Ludington [58:05]: "Michaela, this is what I'm gonna be doing."

7. Generational Differences and Evolving Expectations

Jessica and Camille reflect on the stark contrast between their upbringing and the current socio-economic challenges faced by Gen Z. They discuss how these differences influence family dynamics and individual aspirations.

Key Points:

• Economic Shifts: From affordable housing and job stability in previous generations to soaring rents and competitive job markets today.
• Changing Values: Greater emotional awareness and outspokenness in younger generations compared to the more reserved and hard-working ethos of their parents' generation.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Capshaw [61:04]: "My generation would be the one that then is in that sandwich generation."
• Camille Ludington [65:52]: "This does sound like a team meeting."

8. Final Thoughts and Encouragement

As the episode concludes, Jessica and Camille reaffirm their bond and commitment to supporting each other and their listeners through life's challenges. They encourage community support for those affected by the wildfires and emphasize the importance of mutual understanding and resilience.

Notable Quotes:

• Jessica Capshaw [69:22]: "So much love, a heart full of love and a big, big, big hug. Wrap your arms around California and this too shall pass."
• Camille Ludington [68:14]: "Let's manifest a great, great, fantastic 2025."

---

Conclusion:

"Call It You Drive Me Crazy" offers a heartfelt exploration of personal resilience amidst natural disasters, the complexities of modern parenting, and the generational challenges that shape family dynamics. Through candid conversations and relatable anecdotes, Jessica Capshaw and Camille Ludington create an engaging and supportive space for listeners navigating similar experiences.

---

Note: This summary intentionally omits the advertisement segments interspersed throughout the transcript to focus solely on the episode's core content and discussions.

Transcript

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Camille Ludington]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

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[Camille Ludington]

It Is with Jessica Capshaw and Camille.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Ludington and iHeartRadio podcast.

[Camille Ludington]

Well, hello, hello, hello, hello Call it crew. And welcome to another episode of Call it what It Is. You know what? I just realized the pause was for a reason. This is our first episode together in 2025.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I thought it as I said hello, hello, hello.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, I had to do a pause because I was like wait.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Welcome 2025.

[Camille Ludington]

You 2025.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You've been kind of a dick.

[Camille Ludington]

You've been a huge dick, dude.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah. You've made life very hard and sad and challenging and scary.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, we should. Okay, so here, here's the real deal, you guys. We always plan an episode, just, like, get into it, and we figure out a fun subject and we reach out to you. We reach out to you guys, and we, we plan these episodes and we get so excited. And so we do have an episode that we are going to do. We are going to do the episode we plan. However, 2025 did a derailing of a lot of people's lives.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

So we're gonna derail the top of this episode to talk about.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Talking about what. What's been going on.

[Camille Ludington]

So for those that don't live in Los Angeles, we have been dealing with.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Haven't been watching the news or haven't.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah. Have had the TV off. We've been dealing with fires, active fires that are still active right now. In fact, I, My house, as I'm talking right now, is still under a, an evacuation warning. The block over is a mandatory evacuation. They can't even come go home right now. So let's, so let's talk about sort of what happened. Jess, you were in New York, but you have family here. Your community was the Palisades, which is an area that was severely affected. You want to talk a little bit about that?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, I mean, I, I, as these things are. It's like, you remember the day before, so many people that I do business with are in Los Angeles. It's the beginning of the new year. Obviously, there's so many phone calls where you're just, you know, checking in. Here's the beginning of the new year. Here's what's happening. And it was all, you know, invigorated, and people were excited to get back to work and everything else. And then, as I remember it, it was like the whisperings of, like, hey, there's this fire that's happening. And then it was, I think, physically in person, and then obviously word of mouth. And then the way that things came in through the news, it went from like, there's a little fire to there is a fire raging and, and taking down everything in its path. And very quickly, because of what it comes every single year, which is the Santa Ana winds, and they are very, very fast winds that pick up any little thing. So in this case, it picked up all, all the embers and took them through a large, large, large amount of space, densely populated in. And there were multiple fires. The fire that was in the area that I spent my high school years. And then, you know.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah. I remember sending Jess last week a list of places in the Palisades which I wasn't familiar with. It's a little far from me, but actually, we. When we had done the Jingle Ball, I had stayed with you at your family's house in the Palisades, and we sort of, like, ventured around. But I'd sent you a list of places that I knew had gone within. I mean, I want to say within 24 hours.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

And you were like, wow, these are. These. These are all the places that I took my kids to. This was my life when I lived in Los Angeles. And this area is gone. Right.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Which I had a very, very strange relationship with, because this is so not about me. And I was far away, and I was getting this information, and I was very mindful and clear that the only thing that mattered in these initial moments was life and those who were in peril. Getting people out of the way and. And containing it because it was so clear how devastating it was and how quickly it was taking things down. And because so many of my friends and loved ones are. Are still there. I. Then again, not understanding, because you also have to remember, I. I can't tell you how many times I evacuated my house when I. From when I was 15, from when I was, you know, 20. My whole life you've evacuated because you're near the canyons and that's where the fires come. And it just. It was nothing unfamiliar. But what was unfamiliar was then how quickly I was being sent videos from friends of completely destroyed. Like, everything was flattened. There was not. There wasn't anything. And one particular video I got had, you couldn't tell where you were, where it was being taken from. And then all of a sudden, you see this corner, and I saw this small white brick, like, kind of pony wall that wrapped around this corner. Because, again, I couldn't figure out which street they were videoing. And I was like, oh, I know where I am. That's the white brick pony wall that my kids would stand on top of and foot over foot, they would use the way that kids do, walk the balance beam and we. To Beach Street Pizza. And then we'd grab frozen yogurt at the yogurt shop. And, yeah, everything was gone. It was completely, completely gone.

[Camille Ludington]

I do not live in the Palisades, but I think, you know, we. Like Jessica said, we've had fires here before. I've never had to evacuate. I've never had an evacuation Warning or anything. And I think you. You always feel like, okay, at some point it's sort of out of the way and it's going to be contained and it's. They're going to send out these warning, but they'll figure it'll be figured out. And I think that it happened so fast and there was so much destruction so quick.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You're making me think of talking to friends who on the day, because it was happening so fast, got the phone call from a school in the Palisade saying, come pick up, you know, you gotta go. And the, the. The deluge of people in that state of mind trying to get their children and then.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh, you mean just grab their children.

[Jessica Capshaw]

From picking their children up to get them out. And then just, just like the orderliness of it or lack thereof. And then I know many people who, once they got their kids, got onto Sunset and there was fire all around and they actually had to make the decision to pull their car over and get out, get out of the car. And there were people running in the streets and they were running down towards the water and then to PCH and then further, and then back up to their homes if they were not in the evacuation zone. I mean, it just. Listen, these, these kinds of situations are just horrific. They're your, they're your worst nightmare. And, and not being there and hearing about it, but knowing so specifically the places that this was all happening. Yeah, yeah, it was. It's. And again, like I said, not about me, not about me or my feelings about it at all. All I cared about was how is this being contained, how are people safe and what are they going to do now? And I. And it seems like that's what people are focusing on right now is like, what are the next best steps? Because the entirety of it is insane. And then you saw what was happening on social media and people were posting things and it just.

[Camille Ludington]

You know, I also feel like what people that don't live here maybe don't know is that it wasn't just one fire too. What was happening. Fires were picking up over in Pasadena, which is really far from the Palisades, and then the Eaton. I mean, it was so many different fires everywhere and it traveled so fast in those winds that it was not a lot of time before we saw it. The smoke up on the hills. I could see the flames. And then we all got the notices and we had to go. And in that situation also, I realized I'm absolutely terrible in an emergency. First off, I'm not someone that wants to leave. I don't want to leave. I was. But I was happy to be home.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Because you would need me in this situation.

[Camille Ludington]

I need you.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Let's go. We are leaving.

[Camille Ludington]

No, that's what Matt was like. We got the notice and he was like, we're gone. We're going right now.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Also, growing up in la, maybe it just got in gray. Not growing up. I grew up everywhere. But having gone to high school in Los Angeles, it was ingrained in me. Like I knew where you always had a duffel bag. That was the earthquakes and fires. You just were ready to go.

[Camille Ludington]

Here's the thing though. I did think about this. Earthquakes. Yes. But in an earthquake situation, we have like a closet full of stuff. But I don't have anything in my car. I did not have a bag packed. I packed some. Somewhat of a bag very, very fast. I grabbed shit that didn't matter. I grabbed a. Ing curling iron. No deodorant, no bra. What? I don't know what. It's like a salon where I'm going. I don't know why.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yep. You're not thinking. You're not thinking straight. No one's thinking straight.

[Camille Ludington]

No, no. And. And now I'm. I don't feel out of it is the truth. Because we have the warning still. I'm taking my dogs everywhere with me because people got the evacuate. If you get a mandatory evacuation. We're in a warning right now. You can't get back into your house if your pets are there. They won't let you go into your home. It's too dangerous. So the do with me everywhere. I mean, I have like five dogs on my lap drive.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Wait, let's talk about these. Unbelievable. I already have just a resting static deep admiration for firefighters.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh my God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

But in these situations, they are superheroes to me. They are superheroes. And, and. And it's all been documented. My feeling that they are superheroes is absolutely true. I've seen it on film. I've seen it in stills. I mean, what these women and men are doing to help save people from these fires is absolutely Herculean. It is superhero shit. And I. I mean I just. Honestly, it makes it. It makes me feel really emotional.

[Camille Ludington]

No, it made me. It is amazing. And also I have to shout out Canada and Mexico. Oh, send help. I saw the. I could see from our. From upstairs, from our bedroom, I could see the Canadian Super Scoopers, which I had never heard of before. And they're these huge planes that were going and scooping water from Santa Monica and. And the ocean and bringing it back to the valley. And it, it felt like. It felt like miracle had arrived. Like it felt it just. And, and, and it's not over.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

It's still happening. They're still fighting what needs to be bought. We still have wins.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, we have lots of resources that we're lucky to have pulled together.

[Camille Ludington]

Yes. Please go to our. Call it what it is Instagram. We are going to be putting links to many different organizations. Yeah. Different resources that are helping with all the different things that people need to be helped with right now. And so please go check it out.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

And anything, any little amount can. Can help go a long way at this point.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. And I also, I mean, personally, just to throw this out there, I have multiple friends who have personal friends that have forwarded me their GoFundMe pages. I think that when you, when you actually know a person that knows the person, it gives me great comfort to know that it's going to be getting to the right place. And I think that there's just, there's no too small an amount. It's. It's really just about all coming together and giving whatever it is that you can.

[Camille Ludington]

And I have to say that's about Los Angeles. I've always felt like the city was super magical and I did not grow up here and I felt like very welcomed by this city and the community across the entire city has come together. There's so much. I know it sounds so, like, cheesy, but it feels there's so much love happening right now in Los Angeles that. I don't know, I just had to say that because I'm proud of the city.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Wasn't that delicious?

[Camille Ludington]

So good. Your bill, ladies. I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Don't be silly. You don't be silly.

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[Camille Ludington]

Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors.

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[Camille Ludington]

No.

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[Camille Ludington]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

All right, with that being said.

[Camille Ludington]

Yes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I. We had done an episode where we were just. I mean, lots of stuff comes up about parenting and we were talking and I was kind of like, okay, we can talk about how our kids drive us nuts or the things that the kids, you know, do.

[Camille Ludington]

Which we've done. We've done a lot.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, we've dealt.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We've been very. I've brought my full, authentic self to those conversations.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, I probably. There's probably. Somebody probably shouldn't have said, but I've said it and. Okay, you. It's fine.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's okay. It's okay. And it just made me wonder, is it possible? I know that.

[Camille Ludington]

Is that the first of 20, 25?

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's the first.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh, my God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I wonder.

[Camille Ludington]

Guys, we're back.

[Jessica Capshaw]

What? I wonder. I wonder what our kids would say drives them nuts about us. Because I can hear it. And if I can. If I can sit. Rude. Rude. You should just be grateful.

[Camille Ludington]

I'm gonna edit this down in, like two minutes. You're welcome.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Giving you life. So there. Yeah. Because listen, I think parents can drive kids crazy, too. We see it all the time. And I've been honest. There's also some parents that can drive me crazy when I watch them parenting their kids. And if, you know, stop it.

[Camille Ludington]

But if you listen to this pod, you know that Martin Ludington.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

Still drives me crazy. And I am.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I sometimes do that awful thing where you'll be in a restaurant and they'll be like an infant and it'll be crying and crying and crying and crying. And part of me really just wants to be like, just give me the baby. Just. Just give me the baby.

[Camille Ludington]

Yay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm gonna help you out here. Or I kind of want to say, like, the baby's hungry. Just give the baby.

[Camille Ludington]

Give the baby what the baby needs. I would love to see that happen, Jesse. See, I would start recording that. Like, you know what? Go do that.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Can you imagine? I don't know what response I would get.

[Camille Ludington]

No. It reminds me of your advice back in one of our early episodes. I don't know why. When you're like. We're like, how do you meet people? And you're like, go to the movie theater and strike up a conversation. I'm like, why don't you do that, Jaz?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. So you think it's not a good idea to take someone's baby and feed them without.

[Camille Ludington]

No. So, like, next time we're together, why don't you be like, just go feed them.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, baby. Your baby's hungry. Or your baby's tired. Your baby's tired.

[Camille Ludington]

And she definitely vocally gave advice like that.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay, but here's the thing. Parents drive kids crazy, right? They're constantly nagging or they're telling you what to do. Or maybe they're not listening to the kids opinions. Maybe they're comparing their kids to other kids or they're being overprotective. I get that one. Or not respecting their privacy, not growing with them into their next maturity level and letting them kind of like bigger up. Right. Or giving unsolicited advice. And as we know, this can carry on into your 40s. I've spoken about the suggestion box. And when it's been open and not open to my parents being overly controlling or failing to see their kids for who they are or wanting them to be different. And so I, you know, I'm sort of curious.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

About. About, you know, the kids. How do the kids feel? How do the kids feel about the parents?

[Camille Ludington]

I have Recently, I think. I don't know if it's Dr. Becky. I. There's somebody that I love. Dr. Becky. I mean, what we got.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I love Elisa Pressman.

[Camille Ludington]

We need to have all the parents.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I want them to so much.

[Camille Ludington]

I did ask the kids. I've asked him a couple times now. And I felt like I was doing such a good parenting job. And I was like, you guys.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, you are. You are. Whatever it was. You are.

[Camille Ludington]

Whatever. Well, yeah, I, I, you know, I was like, you guys, it's time for mom and dad feedback. Why don't you just let us know?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, you said this to your kids?

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, I was like, let us know how we can improve. And it was like such a bullshitty response. I'm asking, like, four and seven year olds are like. I was gonna say, I feel like.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Hayden probably had like a list ready to go. And Lucas was kind of like, what?

[Camille Ludington]

It was all, it was all like, let us stay up later.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

Candy for Brad. And I was like, never mind.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

Well, you're not ready for this.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Nope. No, I don't, I'm just kidding. I take it back. Don't want your feedback. Okay. Was there anything that your parents drove did that drove you crazy when you were kidding me?

[Camille Ludington]

Are you Joe? A million things again.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Martin Ludington. I forgot.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh, the LUDs. The LUDs, I mean, you know, tweet their own. I mean, you. It's, it's much easier. My mom have four kids. You have four kids. You know what it's like. She have four kids. I would have lost my mind. And my parents regularly lost their, you know, like, it was, you know, we were annoying and, and we had a small. We were in close quarters with them. And I think one of the most annoying things, though is my dad, Mart Ludz. He does tend to think that he is an expert and he's always been this way on everything.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yep.

[Camille Ludington]

But he's had, like, it doesn't matter what job, like coding. Do you know what I mean? Like, he would know how to code.

[Jessica Capshaw]

He has.

[Camille Ludington]

No, he can't. I don't even know if he knows how to turn on a laptop at this point. But if I got into coding, he would know the better way to code. And he's been like that since I was little. So even when I was like, little, taking acting classes, he was doing scene study with you? I'm not kidding. Yes, he would. I would like, do a little like monologue or whatever. And I'm young, like 12. And he's like, Camilla, let me just have a go at this. And you think I'm lying? You think I'm just like, making this a good story. Yeah. And his. What? He always tells me he's taking on.

[Jessica Capshaw]

A character in Little Women.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah. He's like, Jo March, hand it over. He tells me that he was in one play back in high school and it was like some Shakespearean thing and that was his moment. And I don't know. And so he knows better. And so the advice. The advice part of the know it all advice part was really irritating. What about you growing up? Like, what was the thing?

[Unknown]

Same theme.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's the same theme. It's the unsolicited advice.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's the lecturing. Like, even when they're so well meaning and. And mine all are. You know, like, even when they really are just doing it for your benefit, it still feels like a lecture when you're a teenager. And then I think because this is just sort of how it goes, they. As you start to gain independence. I feel like I do this in my own parenting. You, like, see this window closing and you're like, oh, my God, I need to download all this important information, otherwise my child is going to perish in the world. And so I need to, like, get it all in.

[Camille Ludington]

Even though I'm putting it in for.

[Jessica Capshaw]

The past, yes, whatever, however many years, but I need to really, really cram it in now. And I feel like that last horizon is usually like, sex and alcohol.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Or drugs and. Or drugs. Right.

[Camille Ludington]

Okay, so let me ask you this question. If. If you have a conversation with your kids about sex, do they want to die a little bit inside?

[Jessica Capshaw]

I mean, I. I'm assuming they probably do.

[Camille Ludington]

Okay. We had Luke and Eve. Those are her two oldest kiddos. If we had them on the show right now and we said, what is the thing that mom does that annoys you the most? What do you think their answers would be?

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's actually not the open conversations about the sex or alcohol. I like, I'm. Well, by the way, maybe I'm totally wrong, but I always kind of think that I In low pro, like, not too smooth. Not like, guys, I got this. But like, I feel like I do.

[Camille Ludington]

Think you have it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, you were, by the way, remember when you were in the car and.

[Camille Ludington]

Uhhuh. Yeah. You guys had a great.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We were having a conversation and I. I think I'm pretty good at just like, listening.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, you are. And then.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, I share my feelings. If I get my feelings hurt or if I've hurt feelings. I, I, I deeply believe in the, in the repair and the reset and the re. Or getting a redo. Like, I might have totally the bed on that one. Let's take it back. So, yeah, I, I feel like I, I have an open suggestion box for them. Doesn't mean I'm always gonna, you know, the regularity with, with which I read the suggestions.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, it's open, but it's dusty.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's a little dusty, but yeah. I don't know. Yeah. But I think that, I think the things that start to become. Because I said this before and you really didn't like it, but little kids, little problems, big kids, big problems. Right.

[Camille Ludington]

I don't like it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I know, but I'm just saying, like, little kids, you're there at the park with them saying, like, don't go down the slide right behind someone so that, you know, you don't have a pile up or you hurt each other. And that would really just be like an ouch. But then when they get big, you're talking about, you know, you're talking about sex, you're talking about alcohol, you're talking about drugs. One of my biggest. And the things that my girlfriends and I talk about that I think is so hard is, is the two things can be true. I can say to you, I don't think you should do X, Y and Z. I don't want you to do X, Y, and Z. If you do X, Y and Z, please know that I'm here to talk to you about it or help you or pick you up or all of that. Like, it's a very mixed message. I think when they get older and it's not just an ouch on a slide, it's a real.

[Camille Ludington]

No, I know.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Big.

[Camille Ludington]

I mean, you talk, you talked about, like, even Luke driving. Yeah. I mean, now you're dealing. I get it. Like, I understand why. Big problems. Right. I don't like it. I don't want to hear it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Nope.

[Camille Ludington]

But driving a car. Yeah, that's, that's some serious stuff. Obviously. I have to say, my parents were really good. There was four of us. And you had, you know, your parents have 18 kids. Are. They're really good at not hitting siblings against each other. We never had that.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No. But I think, I don't know if it was Dr. Becky or someone recently and they were talking about sibling rivalry. It's not even what the parents do to the kids. I mean, I'm sure there are kids where parents might not handle it in the most sophisticated way. But even in a family, if, like, let's say the parents are really even, like very even distribution of praise. Love all the things, the kids are still looking at their siblings, like, who's got the stronger connection?

[Camille Ludington]

There's rivalry. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

They're like, who's in pole position right now?

[Camille Ludington]

It's funny, though, because I don't. I never felt that. Did you feel that growing? I did not feel that growing up. Probably because I felt the best.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I was going to say that's probably.

[Camille Ludington]

Because I felt, number one baby felt.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like we were doing well. Yeah, I was very goal oriented. And I didn't like getting in trouble. I didn't like getting in trouble.

[Camille Ludington]

So I really like getting in trouble either.

[Jessica Capshaw]

As much as I could. I was not. No, I did not like getting in trouble. I also think in the disciplining very early on, I mean, what nerd buckets we were. But like, I truly think Luke was six months old when Christopher and I took a parenting class.

[Camille Ludington]

Wow.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And it was with the most amazing woman named Mary Hartzell, who wrote this incredible book. And then she wrote another book with this incredible doctor, Dr. Dan Siegel. But I remember the very most important first class linchpin moment. And it was up on the chalkboard or dry erase board, whatever it was. And it was the definition of discipline. And it is to teach. And I remember that staying with me because I think as a kid, I really thought discipline was like, consequences, maybe good old fashioned spanking and just being.

[Camille Ludington]

Like.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I am afraid. And anyway, so I did always think about that as sort of a launching pad and to discipline with the kids, where I'm like, okay, if someone. If one of the kids has done something really naughty or terrible or has some big fallout or whatever, like, what do they need to learn to not do it again. Right. Like, what's the teaching? What's the teaching piece? And each kid is different. Each. And because each kid learns differently. So, I mean, Yeah, I think.

[Camille Ludington]

You know what I love? This is off subject a little bit, but I'm just like, this is what I love about us being friends because we're so similar in so many ways and we're so different. You took a parenting class at. At nine months old?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Six.

[Camille Ludington]

Six. Sorry. Six. Wow. That would have been. Turn that upside down way too late. At 9, you would have missed the window. I didn't read a single book. I got all the books sent to me. Right. Like, what to expect. Didn't give a. I was like, I'll expect whatever it is that comes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

I Didn't single Lamaze class. I didn't know. I just figured I'll get in the room and people have been doing this forever and I'll figure out the breathing and I'll just push now really.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I was starting to really understand our trips together. When we land in a new well, when we land in a new city and.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And. And you. And I say, what would you like to do?

[Camille Ludington]

And you're like, I'm just like. The wind will blow us in the right direction.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Or you'll carry me. I'll just jump on your back and you'll walk. And I carry me wherever I need to go.

[Camille Ludington]

But I need a you. That's why I need a you. Because I would end up, you know, on the wrong part of town.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, I need. And I need a willing participant that's just going to listen to me tell them that they're going to have Thai food for dinner tonight.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, I like. Sounds good. That's great. I'm allergic to that, but I'm fine.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Wasn't that delicious?

[Camille Ludington]

So good. Your bill, ladies. I got it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, I got it.

[Camille Ludington]

Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Don't be silly. You don't be silly.

[Ken Mears]

People with the Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash back on purchases.

[Camille Ludington]

Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Shoot.

[Camille Ludington]

No.

[Ken Mears]

The Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card. Visit wells Fargo.com ActiveCash Terms Apply hi.

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[Jessica Capshaw]

Was there anything that, that your parents did that you actually loved that you now might do with your kids?

[Camille Ludington]

I loved so many things. I think the main thing that I really loved is they truly made me feel. Made all of us feel like we could do anything. Yes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Mine too.

[Camille Ludington]

Like anything. Which is why I came here with zero money and was like, I'm gonna make it in Hollywood. I think if, I mean it might have been slight delusion it.

[Jessica Capshaw]

By the way, delusion is necessary in that situation for sure. Not grandiosity. I never thought I was bigger than the moment. Like, I never thought like, oh, I'm so fantastic. I will clearly master this and they will all be watching. I just felt that I could meet the challenge. Like I had the confidence to meet the challenge and know that however I was going to make it through it. I was going to make it through it. Like I didn't know I'd be successful.

[Camille Ludington]

Truly. If we're going to call it what it is. I think I had a little bit of grandiosity.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You did okay.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, I did because I came and I. When for actors you hear the statistic that it's like, you know.002% of people even can make a living out of acting. Right. And I came and I'm. I thought like, I'm gonna take over this town. Watch out because Camilla's arrived.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

And I was walking around truly with so much confidence that it was gonna happen that, you know, when I was waiting tables and they're like, oh, how long have you worked here? I'm like, don't worry about it. I'm gonna be an actress. It wasn't about fame and it wasn't about like winning awards. It was just like this was my calling. I was gonna do it. And I'm great at it. But my parents, my parents made me feel that way.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

So I, I want, I want my kids to have that same feeling.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. That the possibilities are, are, are endless for them.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And if you, if you put hard work in, no matter where you're starting from, I believe that you can, you can achieve. I don't know what level, but I do believe you can achieve. And you, and I say this about ourselves a lot as adults even, which I hope hopefully we've earned. Right. Is. I, I don't find myself in situations often where I don't believe that it won't, it won't end up being okay. Like I, Yeah. If I get stuck on the mountain, I'm getting down. I don't know how it may be on my butt. It maybe, you know, I don't know. But I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna make it happen.

[Camille Ludington]

It's funny you say this because this is off subject too, but I've, I recently read about. And let's do an episode on this because I find it so interesting. I think part of that for me, that feeling for me is faith in like the universe figuring it out, which some people will think is very woo woo. But that's how I feel. And I read about this lady and she was called the competition queen, I want to say. And it was basically this woman that came up with this formula of entering competitions and winning it. And it was through visualizing really believing in what was going to happen. And she won everything she like, entered, including a house and she wrote a book. And it's the same as sort of the secret that, you know, we all heard about back in, you know, the 2000s. But I think that you can manifest stuff for yourself. Now we're off subject. We need to do a whole manifesting episode.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. And what that even means, because there's a way to do it.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah. No, she has a specific way of doing it. It's very interesting. Okay. So we threw it out to the crew.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We did. Oh, I just want to say this one other piece, which is when I think about the times that I have made mistakes with my kids, like I've actually named a couple of them on the show at different episodes. But when I've just gotten it wrong. Right. I've yelled at the wrong kid or I've been in my own personal crisis and taking it out on someone or my patience just wasn't where I wanted it to be. I have Said it before and I'll say it again. I'm a huge fan of the redo. It's not even the reset, it's a redo. It's the. You know what? I really got that wrong. I yelled at you, or I blamed you, or I wasn't. I wasn't even listening to you. And I got it wrong. And I think that people often do get it wrong because that's life. And then they think that's it, right? As parents, like, I completely up my kid. That moment of me yelling is going to live in perpetuity in their mind and it's going to shame them and they're going to have issues around whatever that issue was for the rest of their life. And I think that that's crap. I think that's total bullshit. I think you can go back and it's hard because it's not fun to have a reckoning with your own wrongness. But I think you really can go back and be like, I messed it up and if I could do it over again, I would ask this, I would have said this and. And have that moment. Because I do think that that's the key to, you know, fostering and developing young people who can communicate efficiently and talk.

[Camille Ludington]

And I had this moment actually about three days ago. We had evacuated, we were out. And my kids have been stuck, you know, we only had one day of school here in Los Angeles and then everything shut down. So my kids have been together non stop, right? And at this point, they want to kill each other. There's no doubt, right? They're arguing over everything. We were in the car driving and I was exhausted and all the things. And they were arguing. They'd found this little squidgy toy that had like dog hair on it at the bottom of seat in the car. And they decided that that was the most important thing they'd ever seen in their lives and it definitely belonged to them, right? And so this argument ensued. And they've been arguing over every single toy. That's mine. Oh, that's yours. You gave it to me. You promised me that. And I just lost it. Like, I full on yelled and I was. Yeah, I couldn't stop. There was not the decibel. Was that like, explosive, right? I was like. And it lasted, the yelling lasted a good three full minutes. Like, I couldn't stop. And they were stunned. And I was like, then that's what you get kind of thing, you know? Not that I was, but that was the vibe. And I came. I came back to where we Were staying. And I said to Matt, like, I feel so guilty because they're in. It's like a pressure cooker here. And it's just, of course these arguments are going to happen. We're all taugh. Tired. We're all. We've been on top of each other. And so I brought the kids back in and into the room and I said, you know, I'm really sorry. I'm really stressed out and I'm. I'm really sorry I did that. And I had, I had a redo. And Aiden looks at me, she's so cute. She's like, mom, I get it. Yeah. Little seven year old. She's like, again, they do.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And. And hopefully given that you are her, you know, truest north and her role model and I. To know how much she loves you, you. You gave her permission in a future moment that she doesn't even know about yet to know that saying that you were wrong is.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

The right thing to do. Yeah. Just revisit it. And I think that it's really. People don't say they're wrong. And people have a really hard time with saying that they're wrong, that they got it wrong or that they need help. It's hard.

[Camille Ludington]

I actually, it is hard. I. In my 20s, I really had a hard time saying I was wrong for sure. I have learned that it's such a release, honestly, to admit fault. I think that it like, really takes the pressure off to be able to say, like, own the sorrys. Feels good. It really feels good to be like, I'm sorry that I don't know why I said that as opposed to like standing your ground in it when you're. When you've reached the point of like, you're starting to question. You know, back in the day when I was like arguing with the boyfriend, it didn't. Whatever that was that I had said, I was like, now you've got to stick, you know, you've got to.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, it's the hill you'll die on. You're not abandoning your.

[Camille Ludington]

That's what I'm saying. You're not abandoning. No, no, no. Even when they've shown you the actual proof that you're wrong, you're like that.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, no, no. And I love debate. I'll go, I'll go.

[Camille Ludington]

I'll go all day, every day.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Let's go.

[Camille Ludington]

I'll build another hill. So many hills, this one.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Let's go another one. Okay. All right. So now back to where our crew let us know what really annoy the Parents.

[Camille Ludington]

We asked the tweens, the teens, and the adolescents of the Call it crew. And here is what they had to say.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Clara said, my parents annoy me so much when they either tell me that I'm out too much or when I stay home, that I stay in too much. So what exactly am I supposed to do here? Oh, Clara, I need more specifics.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Where are you going? And then what are you doing when you're home? Because if you're, like, off and, like, playing video games and, like, you know, acting like a general sloth when you're home, then they're. They're. They might be right to get you.

[Camille Ludington]

I love a sloth, though.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I know you do. You're much more slothy than me.

[Camille Ludington]

I'm way more slothy. Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I never heard the term couch rot before.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, Bedrot. Couch rot. Yeah, it's in, baby. Thank God I'm finally on trend.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, my God. Okay, tell me what Kyla said.

[Camille Ludington]

Kyla said, my mother will ask me what I'm doing and I will say, I'm sitting down, relaxing. And she will reply, well, I haven't. Poor woman must have sore legs and feet. I gotta say, this was my dad. My dad is someone that, if I was sitting on the couch, I would feel very guilty. He would vacuum right by my feet, around the toes, you know, just to make sure I knew that he was up and doing something that I could have also been doing. That's why I love. That's why when I have my own place now, I love it, I can sit on the couch. I was going to vacuum my toes.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I know my family was very much that way too. It was like the. I remember there was at one point, it was like, if you're. If you're. If you're. If you're leaning, you should be cleaning. If you're. If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean. I just want to lean.

[Camille Ludington]

I just want to lean.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Laura says whenever my parents get upset about small things in restaurants, like not enough ketchup or something similar, they call the waiter and complain and argue. I know they're right because they paid for the dish, but I feel ashamed when they argue in front of everyone because I would have let it go. And in those moments, I want the earth to swallow me up. I'm with you, Laura.

[Camille Ludington]

Laura, I'm with you. And I have this parent. My dad is a. Oh, yeah, he's a ketchup complainer. Oh, big time. In fact, he'll look and It's. This is a real story. He came to the restaurant that I was waiting tables at, and I waited on him, and he complained to my manager about me. That's a true story.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, that's real m lud.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh, yeah. He's. He's. And is. It is embarrassing. It's definitely embarrassing. And they need to chill out.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Do you know what I mean?

[Camille Ludington]

We're not even at a fancy restaurant. You know what I mean? Like, we're, you know, Chili's. And he's like, well, yeah, also, I.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I really do believe that people who complain at restaurants never worked in restaurants months. It's why I feel that all my kids need to be in food service at some point, because it teaches you how to treat people who are there to be of service. And by the way, this isn't to say that I haven't had shitty waiters and waitresses. I have.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And I have. You know, I mean, whatever. I think that there's ways you can get back.

[Camille Ludington]

It's not about, like. It's not about, you know, your food's cold and you got to send it back. It's just there's. My dad does it in a way where he feels. As soon as he sits down in that seat, he could be at Chuck E. Cheese and he feels entitled. Right. Like the world is serving him.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh, Mart.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, God. Okay.

[Camille Ludington]

The mart. Okay. Destiny said, being overbearing. I'm 22 and haven't lived with my mom since I was 19. We're trying to have a relationship again because I just want a mom, and she just is so narcissistic and overbearing. I don't know how to have a normal relationship with her when she can't see her own fault. It's hot. This is the, like, the sorry part, really. Right. Like.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, I mean, I don't know if we're ready to go into this, but I'm really desperate to have a guest whose name is Mel Robbins talk about her let them theory.

[Camille Ludington]

What's the let them theory?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, I really want to have her on, to describe, but I will just say, in this instance, I would say that. I mean, everybody wants to have a mom, but if your mom is narcissistic and overbearing and can't get out of her own way, you kind of just got a letter, and then it's up to you what kind of relationship you want to have with her. Like, if she's gonna always. If she's being her. Right. If that's truly who she is then you're, you're likely not gonna change her.

[Camille Ludington]

So the let them is almost like the letting go of trying to change them, them in a way. It's hard. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Two step process, which is that there is. Because you could just become a doormat if you really just let everyone do everything right. It's a Let them like, let them be who they're gonna be. Right. The friend that's always late, the friend that doesn't show up for you, the parent that behaves in such a way. It's let them, let them be who they are. But then it's, let me figure out whether or not I want to participate in it or what boundary I want to put up and be like, I don't want to like, like when you make everything about you or when you're telling me everything that's wrong with me and what I should do. I have a choice. I don't have to be with you. And the chances of me changing you are pretty small given human behavior. So I just think that I, I, I, I've been thinking about it a lot and it, and it really does seem to kind of like permeate every circumstance between being like, annoyed in the checkout line by the person who's, you know.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Putting their groceries on the belt at a glacial pace.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

You just like interrupt the cycle and you're like, let them. I'm just gonna take a breath. I'm gonna pick up my phone and maybe do something I wasn't gonna do before, but like, okay, like, I'm not gonna control this. What am I gonna huff and puff behind them? Like, I'm gonna, like, what are you gonna do? There's certain things you just gotta let go.

[Camille Ludington]

Okay. We need her on.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes, I do.

[Camille Ludington]

I'll.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Please, Please. Mel Robbins.

[Camille Ludington]

Mel Robbins, you're next.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Wasn't that delicious?

[Camille Ludington]

So good.

[Ken Mears]

Your bill, ladies.

[Camille Ludington]

I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insisted first. Don't be silly. You'll be silly.

[Ken Mears]

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[Camille Ludington]

Okay. Rock, paper, scissors for it. Rock, paper, scissors shoes.

[Ken Mears]

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[Unknown]

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[Ken Mears]

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[Jessica Capshaw]

Thoughts I could catch anything sitting in.

[Camille Ludington]

This doctor's waiting room.

[Jessica Capshaw]

A kid just wiped his runny nose.

[Camille Ludington]

On my jacket and the guy next.

[Jessica Capshaw]

To me sitting in a pool of perspiration insists on sharing my armrest.

[Ken Mears]

Next time, make an appointment with an Amazon One medical provider. There's no waiting and no sweaty guy. Amazon One Medical Healthcare just got less painful.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay, so Petra wrote in and said my parents changed the Netflix password when they're mad at my siblings and I it's immature and silly and I'm with them.

[Camille Ludington]

That's quite funny. That's quite good actually.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I think that's a great idea. I'm gonna try that.

[Camille Ludington]

Funny.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

That is so annoying. It is. It is immature and silly and I kind of support it. Yeah. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Yep. Oh, I'm doing it. I'm doing it. I'm doing it.

[Camille Ludington]

I'm doing it. Okay, go. Lauren said whenever we go on holiday as a family, my parents suddenly lose all sense of direction and common sense. How we ever got anywhere when we were younger is a mystery. That's really funny and so annoying.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I think that then they just they need you to become the team leader. They're just they need you to get out your phone like, like I do when we go. Yeah, you're the go maps it.

[Camille Ludington]

I know I am.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Speaker.

[Camille Ludington]

That's very funny, Lauren. I'm sorry. But yeah, that is funny.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay. Ellie says when they act like they didn't do anything wrong when they were younger or when they act like they didn't do much worse things than we're doing. I know my parents misbehaved as teens. They were not perfect. That's true. They weren't perfect. No one was. No.

[Camille Ludington]

No.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Some stupid. And I hope all I can do honestly is really just pray that my kids don't do as much stupid as I do did.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah. I'm not at that point yet where I have teens where I have to figure out, like, I put myself in.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Some pretty bad jams.

[Camille Ludington]

I know. Like, to what extent do you share how stupid you were? Huh? Do you mention it all? Do you see it all? Or do you sort of. Is there a censorship?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Age appropriate. It started to come out because again, I am a 17 year old old and I have a 14 year old.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I found myself in a super, like, moment because I have to tell me I gotta walk my talk. And I'm like, yeah. With my kids. And I'm honest with them.

[Camille Ludington]

And.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. And there's a moment where they're like, so how old were you when you had sex? And you're like, good.

[Camille Ludington]

You're like 29. Right before I did it. Damn. And.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And I am sex positive. Right. And I. But I know all this really, like, comes that flies in your face because you're like, oh my gosh, the things I say don't actually match the things that I would do. Or my idea of being sex positive or my idea that everyone should have a healthy relationship with sex and the connection and everything. All the bloody blah, blah, blah.

[Camille Ludington]

But then you're like my baby.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like, because these young people are just tiny babies.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh, God.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. It's a lot. I don't. I don't like that.

[Camille Ludington]

I gotta figure out. I gotta. Everything moves up a little bit. Right? You gotta add two year, two or three years to everything. When was the first time you drank? I've never drank.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Never?

[Camille Ludington]

Okay. Carmel said, this might sound dumb, but it makes me upset when my parents open my door to talk. Then don't close the door when they leave. I find it so rude.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That's a big teenager move. The teenager move. Yes.

[Camille Ludington]

You've got to reclose the door threshold moment. Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

When it's almost like true. Whenever it happens, it happens completely until it's over. But they go from being totally down to have whatever door open whenever.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

To being like, as you're walking out the door, can you please close my door?

[Camille Ludington]

And you're God. Wow. Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay. Of course I can.

[Camille Ludington]

Have you ever such a rejection. Have you ever knocked on the door to go in and they've not let you in?

[Jessica Capshaw]

No. No, no, no, no.

[Camille Ludington]

Okay.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, but I actually. And Christopher and I are different in this way. I always do knock. I might. I might knock and then open. Like, it might be one motion, but I always give, like, a little bit of a. I'm coming. I'm not worried that they're hiding anything. I just. I. I believe in privacy.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, well, I mean, that could be changing or something, too. You could be naked in your environment. Right. Does Christopher do, like, the Seinfeld? Like, you know that guy in Seinfeld that, like, slid in with the door?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Just open it.

[Camille Ludington]

A little bamboozle.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, just open it.

[Camille Ludington]

Sometimes you. There's a bamboozle. Yeah. I don't know. I. Matt and I. If Matt and I had this conversation right now, now I'm telling you, he'd be like, I'm not knocking. Yeah, but it's gonna change.

[Jessica Capshaw]

It's gonna change. And your kids change it for you, too, because some of them won't. They just won't. That will not be okay with them.

[Camille Ludington]

No, we're gonna hear. We're gonna get the suggestion box. Get the feedback.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Feedback. Michaela wrote in, and she said, I'm 19 and a sophomore in college. My parents still track my phone and call me when I'm out late. I understand it's out of love and they want to protect me, but they use it against me. They also pay for my point. Is it not okay anymore for them to stalk me?

[Camille Ludington]

Michaela, this is what I'm gonna be doing. I will. But we've talked about this. I'm a tracker.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

And it's probably. And call when you're out. I mean, 19, you're in college. I don't know if I'm assuming that you're in college and that's what you're talking about.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

I'm not gonna call them if they're out late. Probably just because I won't know. But am I gonna track. Yeah, I'm tracking. Tracking.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I have a conflicted relationship with this.

[Camille Ludington]

I know.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We.

[Camille Ludington]

We. We. We're not the sames. You're not a tracker, really?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Well, no, but I. Well, I think my conflicted relationship is. I am. I mean, in my heart of hearts, what I want to do is. I want to know. I don't want to. I don't want to check the tracking. I just want to know that if we were in a situation where expected communication wasn't happening. Right. Like, hey, where are you? And I didn't hear back. And then it was, like, really abnormal, and they weren't answering me. Yeah, I would want to know that I could track them also. Just. I've heard so many stories about the tracking being able to really make a difference for someone who was in a little bit of trouble.

[Camille Ludington]

Of course.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So it's much as. I mean, Michaela, I. Listen, I don't. I. I would hope to not use the tracking against my child, but I would hope to use the tracking for my child, like, to. To. To help, not to, like, penalize or.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think the penal. The penalizing is annoying. Unless you're lying. If you're like, hey, I'm at Ralph's, grabbing a sandwich, and they can see that you're downtown at the club.

[Jessica Capshaw]

That would have happened to me as a kid.

[Camille Ludington]

That's pulling a cat.

[Jessica Capshaw]

No, hold on. I'm just ordering my. I'm ordering my frozen yogurt.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Nope, I'm not.

[Camille Ludington]

Double vodka soda. Like, what. What kind of yogurt is that? It's new E. Don't worry about it. No, I. I'm gonna be a bad tracker. I already know, like, you know, the little, like, you know, the little I. The apple.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah.

[Camille Ludington]

I'm gonna be putting those. I'm gonna dig out a little hole in her. You're gonna air tags. I'm gonna air attack her stilettos.

[Jessica Capshaw]

People who air tag their kids, especially at, like, Disneyland or wherever.

[Camille Ludington]

Oh, air tags all over the show. Are you kidding?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Lisa. When my parents compare how they were as young adults compared to my generation, which is Gen Z. Like, getting a house at a young age or not being sensitive, work ethic, et cetera. Like, clearly, we are living in different times. Rent was A$50 back then, and now it's a billion dollars for a one bedroom. Gen Z is more emotionally aware and outspoken, not sensitive in finding work is a lot more competitive with everyone requiring years of experience. It drives me nuts. Please don't compare. Times are different. That's true. You gotta grow.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah. You gotta evolve.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Come on.

[Camille Ludington]

I don't know, though. I'm, you know, I'm of the millennials, and we can relate to this. I think the millennial parents are not the. It's the boomers, really, that had that, like, amazing situation where the rent was a dollar fifty. Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

And they all worked really hard.

[Camille Ludington]

It was really hard. It worked really hard. Really hard. And they walked 20 miles to school.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. And they had babies young.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, they did. Yeah. But. And they had a house.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Things were just so much more. I mean, good news, bad news. Things were so much more.

[Camille Ludington]

It felt like maybe stable. I don't know what the word is. Yeah, but like, they're.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like there wasn't as much possibility to be something outside of what had come before you. It was like there was a prescription on some level. Like what was going to happen. You were going to have. You were going to get married, you were going to have kids and all that stuff.

[Camille Ludington]

The expectations maybe were different is what you're saying.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because my generation would be the one that then is in that sandwich generation where.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We didn't have. I mean, I was still pretty young when I had kids, but a lot of. Of people in my generation didn't have kids until they were in their 30s, and now they've got parents that are aging and maturing at the same time that they're really raising young kids. So.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Sort of it. That's the generation that has a hard time figuring out how to take care of themselves.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah. Yeah. You're the Sammy Sammies.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Okay. What Courtney say?

[Camille Ludington]

Oh, my dad still buys me dolls. I am 23 years old. Listen, maybe they're collector's items. What are we talking about here? Like a. What are we, like a Cabbage Patch? What are we doing?

[Jessica Capshaw]

American Girl doll.

[Camille Ludington]

American Girl. That's cute, though. I mean, but I can see. Very annoying.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I mean, if you're 23. Yeah, yeah, that's pretty annoying.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, it is annoying. All right, Hannah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I'm with you, Courtney. Hannah said, hey, Jess and Camilla. I'm 16, almost 17, and something my parents do that absolutely makes me insane is when I have my AirPods in listening to music, and they insist on having a conversation. If I don't have them in, it's silent. But for some reason, they choose to talk to me about things while I'm mid Taylor Swift. It's so annoying. How do I tell them to stop in a way that isn't mean? As a future surgeon who looks up to your characters, I love the pot and grapes. Please, I love you.

[Camille Ludington]

Well, we love a future surgeon.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yes, we do.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I would just. I think I would, like, point to the ear. I would, like, point to my ear and be like, yeah, I can't hear you. Oh.

[Camille Ludington]

Because that's gonna go down well. Like, you're a 16 year old and your mom's like. And you're like, I just. Sorry. These are in. Yeah. That's gonna be definitely respected. Sorry. Just. Just literally tap on them. Just so annoying. This is is. This is tale as old as time. Don't think I didn't have a cd. A Walkman. Yep, a cd.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Little Disc man.

[Camille Ludington]

Discman. And the things on. And I mean, those things were obvious. You can even. They weren't hidden whatsoever. And the parents still wanted to have a convo. And I was mid, you know, Britney Spears.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah. Hit me baby, one more time.

[Camille Ludington]

I'm trying to think of the I. Maybe it's this. Maybe you announce like, hey, guys, guys, I'm gonna listen to my album right now. I'm just needing a little piece to myself. So there's a little announcement that happens. Hey, guys, I'm gonna take this time to like, listen to my music. Do you guys have any questions for me right now?

[Jessica Capshaw]

Hey.

[Camille Ludington]

Great. Me and Taylor are off to the races. Okay, Clarissa. I'm the middle child. Shout out to middle children. Hello. And a family of five. Me and my oldest sister are only 14 months apart, meaning we are practically treated like twins. However, I am the total opposite of her. While she is valedictorian and studying to be an engineer, I do decent in school and do theater while studying journalism. What drives me nuts is we are constantly told that we have the support of everyone. But I have been called the figure it out, do it yourself kid. Meaning I don't have the support of my family. Favoritism is the word for it. My mom will spend hours of her day cleaning my sister's room and doing her homework. But for me, I get scolded that my room is a mess. What should I do? I want an out, but at the same time, they are my family. Well, the cleaning of the room is Cinderella. Yes. Seriously, the Cinderella story. I don't like the cleaning of the room. That does feel like favoritism. And I think that that's a conversation. If you haven't had that, you bring up up. That's a suggestion box.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Like, it sounds like it sounds like a team meeting.

[Camille Ludington]

This does sound. But also, I don't understand why you had to figure it out. Do it yourself. I don't understand why your family isn't supporting you.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I think you need some answers. I think you need a team meeting, and I think you need to just. I love the I statements. I feel like yes is what happens and I don't want to feel this way, but I do feel this way. And like, what can we do to.

[Camille Ludington]

Help me not feel this way? Yes. I would hope that if Hayden was feeling this way that we could have a team meeting. Because sometimes I think that parents. You're in a family of five. Right. The chaos is probably happening. I feel like sometimes parents just are not in their own resilient zone and know what's going on and are tracking all of the things and they might not even be aware of how this is making you feel. So a sit down convo, and hopefully they're open to it. Clarissa.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah? You're real. If you lead with your feelings. I. I would imagine that most people, you know, would. Would lean into the conversation, and I don't think that any parent is intending to have that be the story that you tell about your family.

[Camille Ludington]

No.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Wouldn't want that.

[Camille Ludington]

No.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Oh, my gosh. I love hearing all these.

[Camille Ludington]

Me too. It feels good to be back, you guys. I'm gonna. I'm gonna be honest. When I was.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Don't lie, lie.

[Camille Ludington]

I'm not lying. I'm gonna call it what it is. Today I wanted to just be in bed. That's what I wanted to do. It's been a week, and I just wanted to crawl into bed and fall asleep because I love my bed and avoid the world, and this has forced me to not do that. And I'm very grateful.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Yeah, it's very nice to be back with you. You know, I had to do one on my own, and it wasn't as much fun. I loved Brooke Shields. She was fun and she was fantastic. She brought a ton to it. But I. I missed my girl.

[Camille Ludington]

Well, I listened to that podcast and I was hoping you'd be terrible by yourself and it would be very obvious that you, like, desperately need me. And it was annoyingly good. It actually did irritate me a little bit.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We'll take the compliment, but I will hope that we do not find ourselves faced with that situation again.

[Camille Ludington]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't want to do it by myself. We're. We're peanut butter and jelly.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I was gonna say I named all the things. What would you say that we were. I said peanut butter and jelly.

[Camille Ludington]

Who are you? Which one are you, though? Are you the peanut butter or the jelly? I don't think you.

[Jessica Capshaw]

I don't know. I don't know what I am.

[Camille Ludington]

We're gonna figure out which one we are. Call it cre.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Who's peanut.

[Camille Ludington]

Who's the peanut butter?

[Jessica Capshaw]

I think I'm a smooth, kind of like salty, sweet. Peanut butter butter.

[Camille Ludington]

I was thinking you're the peanut butter.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Probably.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah.

[Jessica Capshaw]

Isn't it funny how it becomes obvious what you are.

[Camille Ludington]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're a little, you've got to have a little bit more together than I have. Oh, call it crew.

[Jessica Capshaw]

We love you. We missed you.

[Camille Ludington]

We missed you. We love you. Let's manifest a great, great, fantastic 2025. And please, please, please hit up our Call it what it is Instagram page and look at the resources that we posted and to send California some, some love right now.

[Jessica Capshaw]

So much love, a heart full of love and a big, big, big hug. Wrap your arms around California and this too shall pass.

[Camille Ludington]

All right, let's call it the end of the episode.

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[Camille Ludington]

Could catch anything sitting in this doctor's waiting room.

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