Podcast Summary: "Heart of a Stranger – with Angela Buchdahl"

Call Me Back – with Dan Senor (Ark Media)
Date: October 19, 2025

Main Theme & Purpose

This episode features a profound conversation between host Dan Senor and Rabbi Angela Buchdahl, Senior Rabbi of Central Synagogue in New York City, exploring the Jewish response to the events following October 7th, 2023. The discussion delves into Angela Buchdahl’s personal journey as reflected in her memoir Heart of a Stranger, the evolving identity and challenges of Diaspora Jews, American-Israeli Jewish dynamics, the role of empathy, grief, and belonging, and the shifting role of Jewish leadership in times of crisis.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Transformative Impact of October 7th ([06:33]–[09:21])

• Intensity and Extended Grief: Rabbi Buchdahl describes the past two years since October 7th as “more intense than any period I've ever had as a rabbi.” She likens the experience to an “extended grief process,” encompassing initial shock, mourning for victims, ongoing anxieties about antisemitism, and a renewed sense of vulnerability but also engagement in Jewish life.

  “You realize how much you love something and you worry that you could lose it...I've never felt more that the work I do feels important and purposeful.” — Buchdahl [09:13]

• Communal Resilience: The trauma and uncertainty sparked a surge in synagogue attendance and engagement, which continues two years later.

  “We have never had so many people every Friday night at services...it actually created new habits of Jewish life.” — Buchdahl [10:30]

2. Navigating Grief and Meaning-Making as a Leader ([12:10]–[15:55])

• Speaking to Her Congregation after October 7th: Buchdahl shares the difficulty of guiding her community from a place of personal despair; she built her messages around the genesis motif of chaos (“tohu vavohu”) and the creative power of words.

  “My job in that moment was to help make meaning of a situation that felt like it had no meaning. And I turned to Torah to help me make sense for myself.” — Buchdahl [14:28]

• The Power and Danger of Words: She emphasizes the formative role words play in shaping reality, expressing concern over the use of terms like “colonialism” and “genocide” and the labeling of Hamas as “resistance fighters” in public discourse immediately following the attacks.

3. Wrestling with Progressive Identity and False Binaries ([15:55]–[18:02])

• Progressive Zionism: Buchdahl rejects the notion that one must choose between being pro-Israel and pro-Palestinian, arguing for the rights of both peoples to self-determination.

  “It is absolutely a false choice that you cannot be pro-Palestinian and pro-Israel...the idea that you would celebrate October 7th or be against Israel’s fight to get rid of Hamas did not make any sense to me.” — Buchdahl [15:55]

• Left, Right, and the Misalignment: She expresses frustration at seeing “progressive circles champion...being so against Israel when in almost every other arena the left would be aligned with Israel,” highlighting democratic and pluralistic values in Israel as shared with global progressivism.

4. Connection to Israel & Sense of Peoplehood ([18:02]–[21:14])

• Personal Ties and Frequent Visits: Since October 7th, Buchdahl has visited Israel five times, bringing others with her to “bear witness” and foster solidarity.

  “No one in their right minds would fly into a war zone unless you were coming home. And you're reminding me that you're coming home, too.” — Israeli rabbi, cited by Buchdahl [18:27]

• Jewish Peoplehood Illustrated: She tells a story conveyed in her Rosh Hashanah sermon about a two-headed person—used as a metaphor for Israel and Diaspora as parts of one body.

  “For the first time, I understand what you're talking about. I feel it in my gut. It's painful to me. And I said, you're right, that's exactly it. That is peoplehood that shows that we are actually one body.” — Buchdahl [19:42]

5. Buchdahl’s Personal Journey: From Outsider to Leader ([21:14]–[30:48])

• Origins and Challenges: Born to a Korean Buddhist mother and Jewish father in Tacoma, WA, Buchdahl confronted exclusion both in Jewish and broader circles, especially after a formative Israel trip where her Jewish identity was questioned due to matrilineal descent laws.

  “I was like, what are you talking about? I am the Jewish representative...suddenly you're telling me I'm not a Jew at all. It literally was a physically painful experience. Like, gut wrenching.” — Buchdahl [23:54]

• From Alienation to Calling: Rather than turn away, she resolved to become a rabbi—motivated, in part, by a desire to assert her place and broaden the circle of belonging.

• Embracing the Heart of a Stranger: Buchdahl contends that Jewish superpower is compassion born from the experience of outsiderness, referencing Abraham, Sarah, and the concept of “boundary crossing.”

  “At some point, I realized that feeling like the stranger within the Jewish community might actually be the most Jewish thing about me.” — Buchdahl [28:22]

6. American and Israeli Jewish Identity—Jews by Choice ([30:48]–[35:08])

• Choosing Jewishness in the Diaspora: In America, choosing active Jewish identity is essential for communal continuity, as opposed to Israel, where it is ambient and “in the water.”

  “Every Jew is in some ways a Jew by choice, meaning they have to actively decide that they are connected to our people, are going to take their role in the Jewish story.” — Buchdahl [32:19]

• Misunderstandings with Israelis: Buchdahl wishes Israelis better appreciated non-Orthodox, engaged Diaspora Judaism, which can be “rich and vibrant and observant,” despite not following halacha to the letter.

7. The Hardest Commandment: Loving Yourself ([35:08]–[37:06])

• Self-Compassion as a Prerequisite: Buchdahl discusses her teaching from Leviticus—“love your neighbor as yourself,” explaining that the hardest part is often loving oneself, and the greater our self-compassion, the greater our capacity to extend love and forgiveness to others.

  “If we really want to extend compassion and grace…we have to actually begin with offering that to ourselves.” — Buchdahl [35:44]

8. Spiritual, Not Just Political, Judaism ([37:06]–[40:19])

• Beyond Politics: Buchdahl laments the politicization of Jewish identity and expresses her deepest passion for the spiritual and wisdom tradition Judaism offers, aiming to teach these aspects through her memoir blended with “devartura” (Torah teachings).

  “The deep wisdom tradition in which Judaism has actually something to say to us about pretty much every aspect of our lives...that’s actually the Judaism that I want to teach.” — Buchdahl [39:04]

9. Hope and Rebuilding: Where Do We Go from Here? ([40:58]–[43:16])

• Message for the Next Chapter: Buchdahl draws on Psalm 126, noting the need to “sow in tears” to “reap in joy.” She urges that it’s time for planting—renewing, rebuilding, and committing to a future Jewish life, even if today's generation doesn’t immediately see the results.

  “We are literally in a new chapter, both for the Jewish people and in our Torah reading cycle. And what we need to do is separate the light from the dark, as God did. And...have faith that what we plant, even with our tears...for our generation, but also for future generations.” — Buchdahl [43:06]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On being in “fight mode” post-October 7th:
  “We only wanted to spend time with other Jews because it just felt safer...but there was also a pull...people realized this is powerful and this means something.” — Buchdahl [09:39]

• On antisemitism in America:
  “I literally thought...antisemitism was just over, that America was exceptional...the ugly truth is that October 7th made me face...that it had kind of gone underground, but it had never disappeared.” — Buchdahl [11:14]

• On feeling like a stranger and transforming it:
  “It becomes the Jewish superpower to know what it’s like to have the heart of a stranger.” — Buchdahl [29:45]

• On the difference between observance in Israel and the Diaspora:
  “Being an observant Jew is not equivalent to actually having a literal halachic life...there is a form of Judaism, it doesn’t have to be called Reform or Conservative...that is thriving in America, that I wish Israelis were able to also create for themselves.” — Buchdahl [33:11]

• On hope amid rebuilding:
  “Those who sow in tears will reap in joy...now we’re back in planting season. Like, we have to be putting seeds in the ground to build the future that the next generations will be able to sow in joy.” — Buchdahl [41:56]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening reflections on left/progressive reactions post-10/7: [00:04]–[01:03]
• Rabbi Buchdahl on the grief after October 7th: [07:13]–[09:21]
• Engagement and community post-attack: [09:39]–[10:30]
• Facing Antisemitism in America: [11:14]–[12:10]
• First sermon after 10/7—words, meaning, and chaos: [12:21]–[15:55]
• Progressive dilemmas and Israel/Palestinian narratives: [15:55]–[18:02]
• Visiting Israel, peoplehood, and Rosh Hashanah metaphor: [18:02]–[21:14]
• Buchdahl's journey & outsider experience: [21:14]–[30:48]
• Diaspora Jews as Jews by choice & Israeli perspective: [30:48]–[35:08]
• Mitzvah of loving oneself as prerequisite for loving others: [35:08]–[37:06]
• On remaining spiritual, not just political, as a Jew: [37:06]–[40:19]
• Rebuilding after trauma—Psalm 126 and hope: [40:58]–[43:16]

Tone and Language

The conversation is candid, warm, and thoughtful, interweaving Rabbi Buchdahl's personal reflections with poised, accessible Torah insights. There is a consistent undercurrent of empathy, honesty about pain and struggle, and hopefulness rooted in Jewish tradition and collective resilience. The episode is both intellectually rigorous and emotionally engaging—deeply personal yet broadly relevant.

Final Thoughts

This episode is essential listening for anyone seeking to understand how Jewish leadership, identity, and community have transformed since October 7th. Rabbi Angela Buchdahl offers both wisdom from tradition and hard-won personal insight, bridging the sometimes painful gap between insider and outsider, past and future, Israel and the Diaspora, self and other. Her message is at once sobering—about the persistence of antisemitism and division—and uplifting, calling listeners to reconnect with Jewish meaning, belonging, and hope.