Dating after 40 and being single can feel exhausting in modern dating culture. On Call Me Friend, Daryn Kagan talks with dating coach Treva Brandon Scharf about dating burnout and finding love later in life without losing yourself.

Treva shares her late-bloomer love story, why being single does not mean something is wrong with you, and how releasing pressure can actually create space for real connection. Together, they unpack how modern dating apps have changed relationships, why conviction matters more than confidence, and how “settling on” someone can be a powerful and intentional choice.

This episode also introduces a new segment, Asking for a Friend, where a listener navigating dating after 40 asks how to stay hopeful when the future feels uncertain. Treva’s advice reframes dating burnout, self-worth, and timing in a way that feels grounding, realistic, and deeply reassuring.

If you are single, burned out from dating apps, or wondering whether finding love later in life is still possible, this conversation will remind you that where you are now is not where you will always be.

In This Episode, You Will Learn

✅ Why being single is not a personal failure

✅ How releasing pressure can actually open the door to love

✅ What “settling on” someone really means and why it can be powerful

✅ Why conviction matters more than confidence or chemistry

✅ How dating apps are fueling burnout and how to date with intention

✅ Why love rarely looks the way we expect it to

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Timestamps:

00:00 Why being single does not mean you are broken
06:30 The truth about timing, panic, and the biological clock
10:00 Letting go of the death grip and meeting love unexpectedly
17:40 Why desperation changes your picker
23:20 Conviction versus confidence in dating
28:00 Redefining “settling” as a decisive choice
30:00 Asking for a Friend segment begins
39:50 When love and family look different than you imagined

Key Takeaways

🔹 Being single is a season, not a verdict

🔹 You cannot force love, but you can create opportunity

🔹 Dating success starts with self-belief, not perfection

🔹 Surrender is not giving up, it is trusting the process

Guest Bio

Treva Brandon Scharf is a certified dating, relationship, and life coach and the author of Done Being Single. A self-described late bloomer, Treva spent decades dating before finding lasting love and now helps others navigate modern dating with clarity, accountability, and self-trust.

Resources

Done Being Single: A Late Bloomer’s Guide to Love by Treva Brandon Scharf https://amzn.to/4tfyWP0
Treva Brandon Scharf Website: https://trevabrandonscharf.com/
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Sign up for our newsletter: https://darynkagan.substack.com/
"Hope Possible" https://amzn.to/46uNoJ9

dating later in life, being single after 40, modern dating advice, relationships, women and dating, love after 40, dating burnout, self worth and relationships, Call Me Friend podcast