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Think what it would mean to your child if you said this. Of course you forget little things like your lunchbox. That's because you have this strategic brain that is always focused on bigger thoughts and ideas. You get energized by how things work. That's why you tinker with machines and gears trying to figure out how it all fits together and works. You are processing Ideas, because that's what you care about. That's what innovators and inventors do. They spend their brain power thinking of ideas that change the world or make money. Look, you've been able to see patterns and things since you were little. You just start putting puzzles together and we were amazed by it. You didn't even need to read the directions when you got new Lego building sets. You'd even mix and match pieces and create your own sets. So you'll probably always struggle with remembering little details. And that's how it should be. Your brain should be focused on solving problems. You're focused on the right things. Matthew. Now, when I was writing and saying that, I could feel myself inside kind of crying a little bit. Why? Because our kids have never had someone tell them the truth and this is the truth. Instead, what they have heard in subtle ways is, yeah, that's really sweet and cute that he likes to play with Legos and has all these fanciful ideas and daydreams, but he really needs to be buttoned up and focused and remember his lunchbox. How will he be like me one day if he doesn't? Now, there's no blame or guilt, but sometimes we get so wrapped up in what we think kids are supposed to be doing or comparing them to other kids and subordinating their individuality to just this general thing of like, well, all kids are supposed to do this that we don't step back and really see our kids as they are. So we're not done yet. I'm going to add more, but let's break this down. I want you to give your kids proper context like this. Nothing I said above is untrue. It's all true and put in proper context. Now you need to fill in the blank for your own child with specifics. Specifics really help because when you say something like, oh, you've always been able to see patterns and things since you were little, you just start putting puzzles together and we were amazed by it. That will resonate deeply within your kids because it look, that is truth with a capital T. That is the real them. You're seeing them for who they are. And they will think back to those days when they put those puzzles together and they'll begin to see themselves differently. So really put some thought into this. Is your child really creative? Then notice that. And no. Creative people usually struggle with short term memory and details, but they have so many different advantages in life and I want you to really call that out. Continually reinforce this for your kids, because society and schools are going to beat your kids down and they're going to try to get them to be like everybody else and they can't. Everybody's trying to change their nature instead of working with it. Hey, of course you struggle in this area because your brain and heart are focused on more important things. It's kind of like knocking Einstein because he would wander aimlessly across the Princeton University campus. It's like knocking Michelangelo. You know, you're not really good at accounting. It's like knocking Tom Brady because he isn't good with doing electrical work in the home, although he probably is good at that. So everyone has strengths and weaknesses. Society just tends to only point out out what our kids are not good at doing. No one points out that life success is dependent on good critical and good strategic thinking skills. See, that's what companies pay money for. But that's for another podcast episode. Now number three. Now we can transition to giving your child tools to help with the natural weaknesses. But it's not the only or primary focus. See, when I say I don't like some of these diagnosis and the labels, I'm not denying that our kids have weaknesses. They do. But instead of just defining them by their weakness, I want to define them by their strengths and then gives them practical ways to overcome some of their weaknesses. So dow and look, you don't have to say all of this in one sitting with your child. I throw out scripts and you can do them in small little pieces. I like planting seeds. So one thing that you can say with your child is, hey, so let's come up with some ideas you'll be able to use for the rest of your life to remember things so you can use that awesome brain of yours to solve problems, to create, to invent things, to come up with business ideas. You're not denying that your child has challenges and weaknesses. You're not excusing them. You're just putting them in proper context and then giving your child tools to mitigate some of the weaknesses. And you could. Look, you can definitely challenge your child. Hey, why don't you think of some creative ways to help you remember your lunchbox? So here are some ideas. Let's have your son be responsible for packing his or her own lunch. You can help make some things, but your child has to put it together. If possible, just let him make his own sandwich and put stuff together because then he's more likely to remember it. Show him how to put little post it notes on his backpack as a reminder to grab his lunchbox before he runs out the door. I do this every single day. I do not want to waste brain power trying to remember little things. I would rather have my head thinking about ideas like this podcast that brings me joy and satisfaction and meaning and hopefully it helps you. So I sent myself emails that I will see very clearly as a reminder in the morning and now I snooze them so I see them in the afternoon. I have some that come up every night at 6pm, some at every night at 8pm So I notice that before I go to bed and that way I don't have to release brain power. Like, okay, remember that. Remember that. Remember that I leave little notes by the front door or underneath my car keys because that way I know I'm going to see it. If we're going hiking or on a trip the next day, we've got this little cooler and I'll leave that or a couple oranges on the floor by the front door on the kitchen counter as a visual reminder. That way I have to trip over these things to not see them the night before. I'll often lay out my clothes and put things on top of the clothes or even in the pockets ahead of time, knowing I am susceptible to having 15 different thoughts racing through my brain in the morning while I'm in the shower. And then I get out and I know my weaknesses and I plan for them, but I don't spend all day thinking, oh, I'm so terrible at that. I'm like, no, I'm terrible at that and I know it. So here's what I do about that. Teach your kids how to start doing this. Definitely start with showing him how to leave notes. My guess is that since he isn't being bugged about this, it will free his creative brain to come up with some creative or even weird ways to remind himself about these things that you and I would have never even thought of. Because our kids will sometimes use technology or it might be hey Alexa, remind me tomorrow morning at 7:22am to take my lunchbox. See, that would be a great one. Now when your child does this, well, notice it. Hey, nice job with that. I like how creative your solution is. I mean, heck, I would just put the lunch. Here's one. Just put the lunchbox in the car the night before. As long as it doesn't need to be refrigerated. Unless you live where we are and don't have a garage, then you've got your refrigeration, right? It's not like I haven't done that one before. Then Whatever. What? See, whatever I didn't want to forget is is already in the car and I don't have to think about it all night. I always volunteer. Look, when we go hiking, I always take my car. Why? Because when we're switching stuff out of the cars, I don't want to miss some of my gear. So when they do that, well, notice it affirm. Hey, you're doing a really good job with that. Now when they mess up, no big deal. Hey, been doing really well for that. So we just hop back on the bus. Not a big deal. Non verbals are also very helpful. You could always just hand him the lunchbox without saying a word and just keep walking by so you don't draw any attention to it when he messes up. My first question would not be what happened? Or why did you forget it? It would be, so what were you thinking about instead? Anything interesting? Again, you were putting this in proper context. I would let your kids listen to our programs like the Strong Willed Child one, Stopping the Power Struggles, Strong Will Child, the ADHD University one, because this is how their brains work and they will feel so good about themselves and they'll get new ideas to help themselves throughout life. I get emails all the time from parents are like, oh, my daughter listened to you say oh, it's not about managing your time, it's about managing your energy. And she said everybody's always talked to me about managing my time and I'm not good good at it. But I get this energy thing because I hyper focus and I do see, let your kids listen because it's about their brains and your kids are so smart they will really take ownership. Okay, let's do this. Now begin making some notes, including specific examples of your child using his or her natural gifts and strengths so we can begin providing proper context and and building their confidence. And do this routinely. These scripts and affirmation and context will change how your child views himself or herself and how you see them. See, if you say these things routinely, man, it will change things. And we as parents have no qualms about continually reminding our kids of things they're doing wrong. Why don't we reverse that? Do that for the next week. Here's your challenge for the next week. Notice everything that they're doing well. Begin calling out their different gifts. Many of your kids do see patterns, by the way. Chess checkers arguing with you. They know the pattern because they know what you're going to say before you say it. Makes them really good at sales and persuasion as well because they can see the pattern in that argument. Let's start reminding them of their gifts. That'll change them inside. It'll change how grandparents and teachers and others see your child. Okay, I'm going to keep this short because I think this script and approach can be incredibly powerful. All right, moms, dads, grandparents, this is your challenge for the next week. I can't wait for you to do this. Even if your kids are really young and they don't fully understand, begin speaking the words to them, over them, in front of them, to grandparents, to the preschool teacher to say, oh, man, here's you can't believe what is going on in my son's brain. And they will hear that instead of just saying, like, well, struggles with focus and attention and has a lot of energy. No, here's what I know about my child. See, that builds their confidence. You're setting the tone and changing how everyone sees them. Okay. Love you all. Respect you all for this. This is the last few days of the Black Friday in March sale. Take advantage of that. If you need help with that, reach out to Casey. All right, you guys are crushing it. Talk to you soon. Bye.