Calm Parenting Podcast: ADHD & ND Kids – 25 Ways To Help
Host: Kirk Martin
Release Date: October 30, 2024

Introduction

In the episode titled "ADHD & ND Kids: 25 Ways To Help," Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm, delves deep into practical strategies for parents navigating the challenges of raising neurodivergent (ND) children, including those with ADHD, OCD, ODD, ASD, and other related conditions. Drawing from his extensive experience with over a million families and 1,500 challenging kids, Kirk offers a comprehensive toolkit aimed at reducing power struggles, defiance, and frustration within the household.

Understanding Medication as a Last Resort

Kirk begins by addressing a common query among parents: the role of medication in managing ADHD and other neurodivergent behaviors.

"Like most of you, we would want to do that as a last resort. Why? Because of all the serious side effects."
(02:30)

He emphasizes the importance of exploring natural interventions before considering medication, comparing it to managing high cholesterol through diet and exercise before resorting to medication. Kirk acknowledges that while medication can be beneficial for some children, it should not be the default approach and should be combined with other strategies for optimal results.

Customizing Strategies for Specific Symptoms

Kirk outlines a structured approach to addressing the diverse symptoms of ADHD and other neurodivergent conditions. He advocates for identifying specific struggles and applying targeted tools to address each one.

1. Focus and Inattention

Children with ADHD often face challenges with focus, executive function, and memory. Kirk suggests:

• Diet Adjustments: Eliminate food dyes, preservatives, processed foods, and reduce sugar intake to minimize irritability and improve focus.

  "If your child's gut doesn't feel good, their stomach doesn't feel good. Well, that causes all of us to be irritable and then that causes us to act out."
  (05:15)

• Exercise and Sensory Activities: Incorporate physical activities and sensory exercises before school to help settle the child’s energy.

• Environmental Modifications: Use tools like sensory strips under desks to improve concentration during homework and schoolwork.

2. Fidgeting and Restlessness

For children who struggle to sit still, Kirk recommends:

• Active Seating Options: Allow the use of exercise balls or standing desks to accommodate their need for movement.

• Structured Movement Breaks: Implement short, timed activities like chair push-ups or Simon Says games to provide necessary sensory input.

"Simon says touch your left knee with your right hand. What are you doing? You're moving across the midline of your body."
(17:45)

3. Impulse Control

Managing impulsivity involves:

• Modeling Self-Control: Parents should practice impulse control in their interactions, setting an example for their children.

• Clear Boundaries and Signals: Establishing signals or routines that help children recognize when they need to regulate their impulses.

4. Disorganization and Time Management

Kirk emphasizes that traditional time management may not work for neurodivergent kids. Instead, focus on:

• Energy Management: Schedule tasks when the child has optimal energy levels, such as after physical activities.

• Visual Aids: Use visual schedules and painted images to help children remember and organize their tasks.

5. Anxiety and Sensory Issues

To alleviate anxiety and sensory overload:

• Consistent Routines: Maintain predictable schedules to reduce uncertainty and stress.

• Sensory-Friendly Environments: Create calming spaces and integrate sensory tools like scented candles during homework time.

Cultivating Strengths and Reducing Weaknesses

Kirk advocates for a strengths-based approach, encouraging parents to invest time in nurturing their child’s unique talents and passions rather than solely focusing on mitigating weaknesses.

"What part of that is your child struggling with? Because what I want to do is bring very specific tools to bear on very specific symptoms or struggles."
(08:25)

He advises parents to have open conversations with their children about their strengths, helping them recognize and leverage their abilities, such as strategic thinking or pattern recognition, which are valuable life skills.

Practical Tools and Techniques

Kirk provides a plethora of actionable strategies, broken down into categories aligned with specific symptoms:

Diet and Gut Health

• Balanced Nutrition: Focus on whole foods, proteins, and reduction of inflammatory foods to enhance mood and focus.

  "Your child’s gut doesn't feel good, their stomach doesn't feel good. Well, that causes all of us to be irritable."
  (05:15)

• Supplements: Incorporate prebiotics and probiotics to support gut health, which can influence behavior and concentration.

Exercise and Physical Activity

• Morning Routines: Engage in physical activities like obstacle courses or treasure hunts to expend excess energy.

  "But you have to get out and get these kids moving. And they're not going to want to, so you're going to have to lead them."
  (06:50)

• After-School Activities: Enroll children in sports or activities like rock climbing, martial arts, or swimming to help manage energy levels.

Environmental Modifications

• Sensory Strips: Place tactile materials under desks to provide constant, gentle stimulation that aids concentration.

  "Motion and rhythm, extremely helpful. That's why I like kids doing their homework."
  (14:10)

• Flexible Learning Spaces: Allow children to move around or take on tasks like carrying heavy backpacks to improve focus and physical stability.

Behavioral Strategies

• Positive Reinforcement: Celebrate small victories and progress to build confidence and encourage desired behaviors.

  "Praise your kids as they begin making progress in different areas. Say, that was really cool, man."
  (27:50)

• Clear Communication: Teach children to express their needs assertively, such as requesting to move to a different workspace if they’re struggling.

Parental Self-Control

• Emotional Regulation: Parents must manage their own emotions effectively to provide a calm and supportive environment.

  "Parents learning self control and creating a good environment for the kids, proactively stimulating the brain, creating order, eliminating unknowns, teaching kids new skills."
  (10:00)

Visual and Physical Cues

• Visual Schedules: Use whiteboards or visual planners to outline weekly schedules, reducing the anxiety of unexpected changes.

• Interactive Homework: Incorporate playful elements into homework, such as doing tasks while jumping on a trampoline or spinning, to make learning engaging.

The Role of Community and Support Systems

Kirk highlights the importance of external support from teachers and mental health professionals. He shares a personal anecdote about using the placebo effect by informing the school that his son was on medication, which led to more patience and support from educators without actual medication being administered.

"It changed. It had a placebo effect, not on our son, but on the school and how they viewed him."
(25:30)

This underscores the significance of perception and the power of creating a positive narrative around a child’s behavior.

Empowering Children Through Self-Knowledge

A key takeaway from the episode is the importance of teaching children to understand and manage their own brains. Kirk encourages parents to foster self-awareness in their children, helping them to recognize their strengths and understand how to navigate their challenges effectively.

"When your kids understand that their brains are good, that there's nothing wrong with them, it's kind of like an engine. It's like, here's the best oil and here's the best gas for your engine to work."
(29:20)

Conclusion and Resources

Kirk wraps up the episode by reiterating the value of implementing the discussed strategies and encouraging parents to explore further resources. He promotes his program, ADHD University, as a comprehensive tool for understanding and supporting neurodivergent children.

"Take a few of these tools and then let's start implementing them into your daily life."
(30:10)

Parents are urged to visit celebratecalm.com for additional support and resources, including access to programs designed to better understand and assist their children.

Key Quotes

• On Medication and Natural Interventions:

  "If I were to go to the doctor and the doctor said, hey, Kirk, you've got high cholesterol. I want to put you on this medication, I'd say, hey, wait, what are all the different tools we could use first before we have to go to medication?"
  (04:00)

• On Strengths-Based Approach:

  "I would really rather you focus 80% of your energy on cultivating your child's strengths, their gifts, talents and passions."
  (09:50)

• On Empowering Children:

  "When your kids understand that their brains are good, that there's nothing wrong with them, it's kind of like an engine. It's like, here's the best oil and here's the best gas for your engine to work."
  (29:20)

Final Thoughts

Kirk Martin's episode provides a wealth of actionable advice tailored for parents of neurodivergent children. By emphasizing a holistic and compassionate approach, he encourages parents to utilize specific tools and strategies that address individual challenges while fostering an environment that celebrates each child's unique strengths. This balanced methodology not only aims to mitigate behavioral issues but also empowers children to thrive by understanding and harnessing their inherent capabilities.

For more insights and resources, listeners are encouraged to visit celebratecalm.com and explore the various programs offered to support their parenting journey.