Calm Parenting Podcast: "ADHD Neurodivergent Kids & Adults: 10 Ways to Improve Focus & Executive Function (And Stop Homework Battles!)"

Host: Kirk Martin
Episode #518 | September 14, 2025

Brief Overview

In this lively and practical episode, Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm, addresses the real struggles parents face when helping neurodivergent kids—especially those with ADHD—focus on homework and develop executive function skills. Kirk offers 10 creative, counter-intuitive strategies, rooted in empathy and real-life experience, to minimize family conflict and help kids (and neurodivergent adults) thrive—without power struggles, yelling, or tears.

Key Insights and Discussion Points

Understanding the Neurodivergent Brain

• Validation: Kirk begins by validating the frustration parents and children feel when neurodiversity clashes with neurotypical expectations at school and at home.
  • "If you would just focus, you'd be done in 45 minutes instead of it taking three hours is not motivating for your child." (06:50)
• Purpose: The real goal isn’t just finishing homework—it's teaching neurodivergent kids (and adults) how their brains work, building life-long skills, and fostering self-acceptance.
• Inviting Kids to Participate: Kirk encourages parents to share the episode with their kids and let them select the strategies they want to try.

10 Practical Strategies for Focus & Executive Function

1. Prime the Brain with Control (08:15)

• After a long, controlled school day, give kids autonomy before homework.
  • Ideas: Assign "grown-up" missions, treasure hunts, solo downtime, music listening, or practical "secret missions."
• "Could you give them a more adult type mission that makes them feel grown up and in control of something after school?" (08:57)
• Avoid Interrogation: Don’t ask, "How was school?"—ask about their interests or offer thought-provoking situations.

2. Do Homework Outside (10:40)

• Change the environment for stimulation and novelty. Exercise, fresh air, and unusual locations (like a homemade fort, or even a planned detour to a 'sewer' with flashlights) energize kids.
• "We go down there with flashlights and do schoolwork. It was different. Stimulated the brain." (11:46)

3. Manage Energy, Not Time (13:12)

• ADHD brains function in bursts, not linear timelines—teach kids to notice when they’re "on" and use those moments for focused work.
• "Traditional time management tends to be linear. It doesn't work for people like us. People with our brains tend to work in spurts. We hyperfocus. We work on momentum." (13:20)
• Homework doesn’t have to be 4-6pm every day; mornings, after exercise, or quiet, late evenings may work better.

4. Use Time Compression (15:12)

• Less time = more focus; try defined, short time limits to spark the ADHD brain's sense of urgency.
• Co-doing homework (split odd/even problems with your child) can build momentum and reduce resistance.
• "That definitive time limit, compressing the time...helped them focus better. It was a defined time limit, so he knew it wasn't going to last forever, and it forced his brain to hyperfocus." (15:38)

5. Rhythm, Music & Snacks (16:46)

• Create rhythm and regulate busy brains with music, chewing, rocking, or silent tapping.
• "Your kids have very busy brains...now you introduce rhythm through music and chewing and tapping pencils, and that creates rhythm in the brain." (17:00)
• Let kids listen to their music—not just classical—while working; eating snacks while studying brings blood flow to the brain and helps with anxiety.

6. Movement as a Tool (18:32)

• Incorporate physical activity: quiz them while they jump, spin, or shoot hoops. Movement is how they process and retain information.
• Playful challenges (‘bet you can do math upside down!’) reframe homework as fun.
• "Quiz them on vocabulary words. I guarantee they will get all the answers correct and they'll have fun." (18:46)
• Build forts or let kids work in unconventional places (under the table, in the closet, car, etc.).

7. Vary Study Locations (21:00)

• Switch it up: attic, basement, treehouse, coffee shop, public spaces. Even ambient noise and new smells (coffee, candles) can aid focus.
• "I do a lot of my best thinking work outside. Even in public places where there's a lot going on. Rather than distract me, it actually helps me focus better." (22:18)

8. Parent or Kid 'Swap' Sessions (22:42)

• Trade homework duty with your partner or another trusted adult; kids often respond better to someone new.
• Group study or early morning sessions with different adults give a fresh spin and fresh energy.

9. Tap Into Older Community Members (23:52)

• Enlist retired neighbors or relatives to mentor, help with homework, or teach life skills. It provides new role models, patience, and a sense of importance for both parties.
• "And if you don't try it, you're robbing that older couple of joy and purpose." (24:52)
• Especially effective with strong-willed kids who resist parental guidance but thrive under other adults’ attention.

10. Create Successes and Affirm Progress (27:14)

• Set up small, early wins. Let kids choose writing or reading topics they're passionate about.
• Communicate with teachers for flexibility; foster self-confidence through progress, not perfection.
• "It is so easy to get frustrated with our kids and point out all the things that they're doing wrong...Let’s break that cycle. Learn to affirm your child's unique gifts and talents." (28:45)

Bonus: Late-Night Homework Bonding (30:10)

• Invite kids out for late-night homework sessions at restaurants—making it special, collaborative, and less about pressure, more about connection.
• "Kids love feeling like grownups. It's a more fun way of doing schoolwork late at night..." (30:25)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Shifting the Dynamic:
  "This is your homework. This is your schoolwork, not mine. All I want is for it to get done. I want you to be curious and learn the concepts. I don't care how you do it or where you do it. You tell me. And then, see, now they're taking ownership of it." (32:05)

• On Self-Acceptance:
  "There isn't anything wrong with you or your child. We just have brains that are different." (07:23)

• On Parental Mindset:
  "What do we focus on? Progress, not perfection. This is way more motivating than just correcting them all the time." (29:08)

Important Timestamps

• 06:50 – How neurotypical standards don’t motivate neurodivergent kids
• 08:15 – Start of practical tips: giving kids post-school control
• 10:40 – Do homework outside; novelty and physicality as focus tools
• 13:12 – Managing energy instead of time
• 15:12 – Using time compression and shared homework
• 16:46 – Rhythm, music, and snacks for focus
• 18:32 – Movement and fun locations for studying
• 21:00 – Varying study locations for brain stimulation
• 22:42 – Swapping parents or study buddies
• 23:52 – Engaging older neighbors/community helpers
• 27:14 – Creating small wins and affirming your child
• 30:10 – Bonus: Special late-night bonding homework sessions

Episode Takeaways

• Neurodivergent kids and adults do not thrive under traditional, rigid systems; dynamic, sensory, and rhythmic approaches yield better results.
• Let kids have choice, agency, and new experiences—atypical solutions often work best.
• Focusing on progress instead of perfection shifts the emotional climate and empowers kids to learn about themselves.
• Encouraging ownership, connection, and affirming kids’ unique strengths leads to lasting change.

For more resources or to connect with Kirk and the Celebrate Calm team:
Visit celebratecalm.com or email Casey@celebratecalm.com.