Calm Parenting Podcast: "Get Kids Moving More Quickly: 10 Practical Ideas To Try This Week" (#513)

Host: Kirk Martin
Date: August 27, 2025

Episode Overview

Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm, focuses on practical, creative, and connection-centered strategies to help parents motivate their kids—especially strong-willed, neurodivergent, or reluctant movers—to get moving and out the door each day. Drawing on years of work with thousands of kids and their families, Kirk breaks the episode into five core groupings and delivers numerous real-life examples, all with his signature humor and candor. The central theme: Stop trying to control, lecture, or rush your kids—instead, find ways to engage their brains, offer ownership, and build connection.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. Control Yourself—Lead, Don't Push

• Mindset Shift: Kids often resist not because of you, but because they're reacting to adult anxiety and pressure.
• Example (06:30): Instead of barking orders in the morning, use relaxed nonverbal cues ("I put a swim towel around my neck and just sat by the door. They came to me.").
• Key Insight: Kids are naturally drawn to adults who are calm, present, and not anxious.
• Memorable Quote (07:50):

  “They’re not rejecting you. They’re not rejecting your authority. They’re rejecting your anxiety.” – Kirk

2. Give Tools to Succeed—Not Just Consequences

• Engagement Through Challenges: Make mundane tasks into missions, games, or jobs:
  • “Bet you can’t get dressed under your bed!” (10:22)
  • Hide breakfast in the backyard for a morning treasure hunt (11:10)
• Sensory & Neurodivergent Friendly: Obstacle courses, foraging, and giving adult-type jobs stimulate the brain and reduce resistance.
• Ownership Option: Let kids hide things for parents to find if they’re ready on time.
• For Anxious Kids: Give them a special role at school (12:50):

  “Hey, Jonathan, I could really use your help in the mornings…”

3. Tough Discipline—But With Calm Consistency

• No Drama, No Lectures: Discipline should be matter-of-fact, not emotional.
• Video Game Analogy (16:14):

  “The video game doesn’t yell at your child or lecture... it just says, here are the rules. If you do it this way, you go to the next level. If not, you start over.”

• Example Scenario:
  • For every minute Casey was late to the car, he lost 10 minutes of screen time (17:30).
  • Kirk’s response to “That’s not fair!”:

    “I don’t play fair. I play to win. My time is very valuable.” (18:00)

  • Mercy and modeling consistency matter—sometimes, give a “mulligan” on the first try.
• Notable (Cautionary) Story:
  • A dad actually burns Legos to show he keeps his word (19:40):

    “So I think that’s a little bit too far. I don’t want you burning your kids’ Legos. But I like the principle, which is: I’m a person of my word.”

4. Ownership—Let Kids Problem Solve Their Way

• Expand Boundaries: Strong-willed kids want choice in how they do things.
• Objective-Based Parenting:

  “All I want is for you to be on the bus at 7:22am. I don’t care what you look like, smell like, or what’s in your stomach.” (23:30)

• Letting Go: Even if they choose shortcuts (sleep in school clothes, eat Pop-Tarts), focus on the end goal.
• Model, Don’t Lecture: Kids learn healthy choices by consequence and seeing your behavior, not lectures:

  "[Lecturing] doesn't matter—they’re never like, ‘Mom, Dad, I didn’t realize what I was putting into my body... but now you explained it, I want to make better choices.’ No.” (25:15)

• Celebrate Small Wins: If they make the bus, give a fist bump and acknowledge their problem solving.

5. Connection Changes Everything

• Sit With, Don’t Shout At: Go physically to your child, sit with them, and empathize instead of hollering from the other room (28:20).
• Connection as Motivation: Offer post-task connection time rather than bribes or consequences:
  • E.g., “If you're ready by 7:11, we get 9 minutes to watch Outer Banks together.” (30:35)
• Real Parent Story: A mom leveraged her daughter's love for a show as connection—her daughter began getting ready early just for that 1:1 time.
• Generational Affirmation & Change: Kirk affirms younger parents for breaking cycles, working hard, and prioritizing relationships (32:00+).
• Dads Making New Moves: Instead of yelling, a father hides his son’s favorite toy as a treasure hunt and shares breakfast—solidifying fun and connection instead of conflict (34:07).

  “Connection and a treasure hunt always work.” – A dad, sharing a lesson learned from Kirk’s program.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• On Parenting Anxiety (07:50):

  “They’re not rejecting you. They’re rejecting your anxiety.”

• Video Game Discipline Analogy (16:14):

  “There’s not a mom video game with different rules, the video game doesn’t yell at or lecture your child.”

• Screen Time Consequence (18:00):

  “I don’t play fair. I play to win. My time is very valuable.”

• Modeling Choices (25:15):

  “They’re never like, ‘Mom, Dad, I didn’t realize what I was putting into my body was so unhealthy... but now you explained it to me, I want to make better choices.’ No. Model it for yourself.”

• On Consistency (19:40):

  “I don’t want you burning your kids’ Legos. But I like the principle... I’m a person of my word.”

• Connection Wins (34:07):

  “Connection and a treasure hunt always work.”

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 06:30 – Story: Using nonverbal cues to lead instead of push
• 10:22-13:00 – Missions, games, and foraging for engagement
• 16:14 – Non-drama discipline & the video game analogy
• 18:00 – Explaining the screen-time consequence method
• 19:40 – Burned Legos story about consistency
• 23:30 – Letting kids own the "how"
• 25:15 – Model, don’t lecture (food, getting ready examples)
• 28:20 – Connecting (sit on their bed, empathize)
• 30:35 – Mom uses showtime as morning connection
• 32:00+ – Affirmation for millennial parents
• 34:07 – Dad’s treasure hunt breakfast connection

Actionable Takeaways

• Lead calmly and use nonverbal cues to set the example
• Break tasks into missions or jobs—engage, don’t nag
• Enforce boundaries with consistency, but skip drama and lectures
• Let kids own the “how” even if it isn’t your way
• Build in connection before, during, and after routines—sometimes small wins make the biggest difference

Episode Tone

Warm, practical, humorous, and encouraging, with an emphasis on real-life stories and doable strategies. Kirk embodies an empathetic, direct, “been-there” vibe, often poking fun at himself and gently chiding standard parental anxiety and power struggles.

For more resources or to reach out for personalized help, visit Celebrate Calm or email Casey@CelebrateCalm.com.