Unknown (7:26)

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Kirk Martin (8:44)

So Mrs. Kalm told me yesterday, I wish I had begun drinking AG1 sooner. My stomach has felt so much calmer and I'm more regular. My Ag one in the Morning provides some consistency. I really crave and that's one reason I love my AG1. It's an easy, healthy daily routine. No messes, no blenders.

Unknown (9:05)

We put one scoop of AG1 into a bott of water, shake it up.

Kirk Martin (9:09)

And start our day with 75 vitamins.

Unknown (9:11)

Probiotics, prebiotics and whole food sourced ingredients.

Kirk Martin (9:15)

Check out a Special offer@drinkag1.com Calm look.

Unknown (9:19)

I've got more energy, better mental clarity.

Kirk Martin (9:22)

And AG1 supports my immune health. And that's why I've been partnering with AG1 for so long. Be an AG1 couple like us AG1 is offering new subscribers a free $76 gift. When you sign up, you'll get a welcome kit, a bottle of D3 and K2, and five free travel packs in your first box. So check out drinkag1.com calm to get this offer. That's drinkag1.com calm to start your day with a win. So here's what happens almost every every single time after that, your wife will pull away and begin to pay more attention to the kids. I mean, she's figured out the marriage isn't going to work long term and her instincts are to protect the child she carried in her belly or adopted. And meanwhile you're going to get defensive and keep blaming a child for your actions and you'll be justified. You will. These kids are difficult. They misbehave and they make messes and they don't pick things up and they don't listen. Well, you're justified and you will use that justification to pull away. Look, I did the same thing. I started with the my way or highway approach because that's what I learned from my dad. And when that didn't work, I finally said, you know what, I'll go to work, earn a living. You Handle all the kids stuff. And that's natural because no one taught us as men how to handle relationships. Look, from the time I was a.

Unknown (10:50)

Little boy, every single adult has taught.

Kirk Martin (10:52)

Me one basic thing as a man. To compete and win. That's it. As kids, we competed hard at sports and we won. We competed for the best grades, we competed for the best girl. Then we competed for the best job, competed for the promotion, for the right salary, for the right neighborhood. Even at church, we're kind of competing to see who could get into heaven and who believed the right thing. We compete in politics. So our side either wins or loses. We compete on the highway for that particular lane. We compete for that parking spot. That's what we know to do. And we're good at it. So we compete for the girl and we get her. We get married and we go on competing at work, at finances, at the stock market or gun shooting competition or adult league sports. We compete to have the best looking lawn in the neighborhood, to have the best vacations. And then we realized, oh, I'm married, I have kids. This has nothing to do with winning and competition because no one taught us how to have relationships. And that might be where you are right now. Your wife and child are coddling you, walking on eggshells. We're just waiting for you to lose it. And look, it can be about anything. For me, it was child's behavior. If I couldn't check in the hotel on time because I'm a Hilton diamond member, I would lose it. Or about politics or your college team, whatever it is. And your wife will eventually just give up because she's just had too much. And all that Money in your 401k that you competed for, the girl you competed for will be gone. And you'll justify it and blame it on everybody else. But it's you. And here's the good news. You can change. I was this guy I just described. That was our exact situation. So my challenge for you is this. Put as much energy into building relationships as you put into competing and winning and building your career. Look, I'm older now. The relationships will be the only thing that count in the end. Nobody was really impressed by what I did in the corporate world or how I built my own business. It's the relationships. So here are five quick things for you to try this week. Number one, keep listening to this podcast. It's free, to the point, it's guy friendly. Number two, the next time there is disorder and chaos in your home. Here's what I want you to do. Guys, you walk into a room and you sit down. You do not fix the situation because that's when we tend to make it worse every time. So you sit, you color draw, have a drink, have a snack, observe and ask questions. Lead your kids to problem solve themselves. This is a cool thing and I can show you how to do that. Number three. You know all that time you usually spend controlling your kids behavior and and correcting them? Do this instead. For the next two weeks, affirm your kids relentlessly. Simply recognize and affirm the qualities they already have or the things they're already doing. Well, without saying, but if you really applied yourself. No, don't do that. It sounds like this. Hey, nice job with that project. Hey, good choice. Hey, well done. That shows me you're growing up. Fist bump. Look, lots and lots of fist bumps. I promise that is more motivating to your kids than you can possibly know. Because if you are endlessly correcting your kids, here's what they know. I can never please my dad. He's never really happy. Why would I even try? Number four. Get tools to be a better dad and support your wife. Look, Mother's Day is coming up. Your wife's highest goal in life is to be the best mom possible. And you've seen this because she devours baby books and podcasts and therapy so her kids can be happy. But sometimes you and I come into the home and sabotage her highest mission in life. Because as guys, we're a little too rigid. What if your wife came into your office every day and sabotaged your work and promotion? So I have an idea for you that's way better than flowers. Go to celebratecalm.com, look up the Mother's Day sale. I know. Yeah, I know. I'm frugal too. I don't like spending money on this stuff either. But it's way cheaper and better than therapy that you will despise. And it's $1,000 cheaper than a divorce. So what happens? You go get the Mother's Day sale. You buy that program, it gets delivered, downloaded to your phone on this really convenient app. On Mother's Day morning, you wake up, you play the app. Your wife is going to hear it and say, what's that? And you say, hey, I invested in this guy's programs so that I can be the best dad I can be and walk alongside you. I guarantee you it will be the best Mother's Day your wife has ever had and maybe the best Mother's Day you've ever had. Or moms, if you're listening, order for yourself and just look, stop this. Oh, I need to ask my husband. You're a grown adult and you're equal. Your husband spends money on stuff that he wants all the time and he doesn't justify it to you. So moms, order it for yourself and say, hey, no need for a fancy Mother's Day gift. I got what I wanted. What I really want from you is just listen to the dads program number five, lead your kids to a calm place instead of yelling at them to calm down. Look, it sounds like this. Hey, I can tell you're frustrated. Look this, I'm not asking you to talk in this. Hey, buddy, I can tell you I don't want you to talk like that. That is not effective with a strong willed child. I want you to be a guy because sometimes this dad voice, this man voice is not the harsh voice like that, but this guy voice like we talk to our colleagues like this. Hey, I can tell you're frustrated. Listen, when you're ready, come outside, we'll throw the ball around. Or hey, when you're ready, come meet me in the car. Seven minutes. We're going to go get a smoothie, go get some tacos or meet me in the living room. We're going to build with some Legos. When you do that with your kids, it's instantly calming is a really cool thing. You just need some tools. And I guarantee when your wife sees you calming situations and de escalating situations instead of always escalating them, she will admire and respect you. Your kids will respect you instead of fearing you and you will respect yourself. Look, if you need help, you can reach out to me directly. It's kirk k I r k@celebratekalm.com let's break those generational patterns. Let's create a new family tree and a new family. Wives, forward this to your husband. Just say this is what I want for Mother's Day. Just listen to this. Hey, thanks for listening. Thanks for sharing the podcast. We'll talk to you soon. Bye.