Transcript
Kirk Martin (0:00)
Hey moms and dads, don't you just.
Casey (0:02)
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Kirk Martin (1:20)
So you have a child who just struggles, right? And it's been a struggle sometimes since they came out of the womb and they're in trouble all the time. And inside you're like, if listen to me or just do simple things, it doesn't have to be that hard. You wouldn't be in trouble all the time and I wouldn't have to take away things. We don't have to fight over this. And maybe your child gets in trouble at school. Or more likely, your child is great at school, but then comes home and unloads on you. It's just difficult at home. But this child, you've heard your child say things like, I'm dumb, I'm stupid, you don't like me, I don't like myself. I wish I hadn't been born. I'm a bad kid. I want to reverse that. And so I want to give you a very, very powerful tool to do that. And we're going to focus on this, not for a week, but for the next two weeks and the next two years and the next 20 years. Because it works. That's what we're going to talk about on today's episode of the Calm Parenting Podcast.
Unknown (2:13)
So welcome.
Kirk Martin (2:14)
This is Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm. You can find us@celebratecalm.com look, we had all of these kids in our home. We had over the course of a decade, about 1500 kids like this in. In our home, our own son was like this. And so, you know the hard part? Sometimes it's just being honest. I know what works and I know what doesn't work right. And it's all the things that I did wrong and that you're probably not doing all that well, that it doesn't work. And so it gets frustrating at times because I'm like, dads. No, it's not just tougher discipline. Yeah, you've got to discipline your kids. And I like being firm. Even matter of fact, I like tough discipline. But look, there's one of two ways that you can change and deal with. Let's call it misbehavior. The way that we commonly do it is a child misbehaves, does something wrong, and we react and we give a consequence. We've already established a hundred times, consequences don't change behavior, because if they did, you wouldn't be listening to this podcast and you'd have a happy home, because that's all we ever do is consequences, consequences, consequences. It doesn't change behavior because what we're really doing is punishing a child for messing up. But what if you switch that around and say, I know my child's going to struggle. I know, because my child came out of the womb arguing with me. Right. And picking on his siblings and doing all of these things. It's not like this is new. Now, for some of you, it may have just kicked in because they just started preschool or third grade, where school gets harder. They're in middle school or high school, something kicked in. It doesn't matter. This process still works. So here's what I want to do. Instead of punishing a child for failure, what if I know my child struggles and I come along and give them tools to succeed and I begin to create successes? That's what I want us to begin doing. And I'm going to give you ideas right now, some different ways to do that, but I want to hammer that home for two weeks. Let's create successes at school, at home, with mom, with dad, with everybody, with the grandparents, wherever they are, at Taekwondo, at their sporting event, whatever they're doing, we're going to begin creating successes. Side note, if you need help with this, reach out to Casey. It's Casey. C A s e y celebratecolm.com, tell us about your family. We'll give you ideas how to create successes. You know, it would help even more if you took advantage of the black Friday sale. We're doing a huge sale on the get everything package. Why? Because then you get everything. It's. And you have all of these ideas. There's literally hundreds of ideas. And I know this stuff works. And it's like, I want to tell people, like, stop. Stop, like, messing around with other stuff and seeing if it works. This works. You know it works because you've tried it at home, and I want you to have the whole package of it, and you get it on this really cool app. It's so easy. It's like, download it right to your app. It's like, right on your phone, on your computer. You share with your spouse, with teachers, with the grandparents, with everybody. I don't care. I want people to listen so we can help our kids be successful. So go on the website, celebratecall.com you'll see it's a big Black Friday sale. It just comes as an instant download. And instantly you can begin making these changes. Enough of that. So here's what I want to begin doing. What are submissions and specific jobs that your child can do that he'll succeed when he does it right, and begin doing that. Hey, Jacob, you know what I could really use your help doing? X Look, the way to build confidence in life isn't just to go along saying, like, oh, you're so good at that. It's giving kids things to do and adults things to do that they're naturally good at doing. Because when you're good at something, it naturally builds your confidence. And what happens to our kids is. Think about it. We tell our kids, look, your entire childhood is based on having good behavior and good grades. Well, what happens to the strong will kids like Most of our kids? Well, I'm not really that awesome at behavior, and I don't like school, so why would I even try? I'm 0 for 2 on everything everybody cares about. And everybody always seems disappointed in me. No wonder they fight back and they get defiant or they shut down. So create successes. What are your kids good at doing? Begin giving them those jobs. Let's spend the next two weeks giving your child opportunities to shine.