Calm Parenting Podcast - Episode Summary: "School Struggles with Transitions, Impulse Control, Following Directions, Social Skills?" (#506)
Release Date: August 3, 2025
Host: Kirk Martin, Founder of Celebrate Calm

Introduction

In Episode #506 of the Calm Parenting Podcast, host Kirk Martin delves into the challenges parents face when their children struggle with school-related behaviors such as transitions, impulse control, following directions, and social skills. Drawing from his extensive experience working with over 1,500 children with various behavioral and developmental issues, Kirk offers practical strategies to help parents and teachers collaboratively support these children for a more successful school year.

1. Effective Communication with Teachers: The One-Pager Strategy

Kirk emphasizes the importance of establishing a strong line of communication between parents and teachers. He introduces the concept of creating a concise, one or two-page document titled "Child's Story" that encapsulates essential information about the child’s interests, strengths, and specific challenges.

"I like to create a one pager... it's easily digestible. The teacher can keep this in their desk and refer to it throughout the year."
[12:45]

Key Components:

• Passions and Interests: Highlight what excites and motivates the child to help teachers connect on a personal level.
• Strengths and Character Attributes: Define the child's positive traits to present a balanced view beyond their struggles.
• Struggles and Effective Strategies: Outline specific behavioral challenges and the methods that have successfully addressed them in the past.

Example: Including a section like, “Dylan loves dinosaurs and excels at chess,” provides teachers with immediate topics to engage the child positively.

2. Positive Reinforcement Over Punishment

Kirk advocates for replacing traditional punitive measures with proactive strategies that address the child's internal needs. Instead of resorting to threats like losing privileges or sending a child to the principal’s office, he suggests methods that fulfill underlying needs, thereby naturally mitigating unwanted behaviors.

"Instead of punishing a child for failing, why don't we proactively give kids tools to succeed?"
[25:30]

Strategies Include:

• Meeting Basic Needs: Ensuring the child is fed, rested, and has outlets for sensory input can prevent many behavioral issues.
• Redirecting Energy: Providing physical activities or specific tasks that align with the child’s interests helps channel their energy constructively.

Example: For a child with sensory needs, setting up a morning obstacle course can reduce hyperactive behaviors later in the day.

3. Practical Classroom Strategies

Kirk shares actionable techniques that teachers can implement to assist children with behavioral challenges, fostering a supportive classroom environment.

Assigning Specific Tasks:

• Concrete Missions: Giving the child a clear, specific task helps them focus and feel a sense of accomplishment.

  "I give the child a specific, concrete mission... he comes in and he's spraying down the desks instead of other children."
  [35:10]

Visualization Techniques:

• Memory Aids: Encouraging children to visualize their tasks helps improve focus and execution.

  "Kids, especially those with focus issues, can actually remember things when they visualize it."
  [37:45]

Positive Affirmation:

• Reinforcing Good Behavior: Acknowledging and praising positive actions builds the child's confidence and encourages repetition of those behaviors.

  "We're going to affirm Casey for every good choice he makes to counterbalance the negatives."
  [42:20]

4. Building Confidence and Preventing Negative Self-Perception

Kirk highlights the critical need to prevent children from internalizing failure and developing negative self-images.

"It's nearly impossible to rebuild a kid's confidence once it's been destroyed or once they've internalized failure."
[50:15]

Approaches to Enhance Confidence:

• Early Intervention: Implementing supportive strategies at the start of the school year can stave off negative self-perception.
• Affirming Strengths: Regularly recognizing and celebrating the child’s abilities reinforces a positive self-image.

Example: Praising a child for their math skills before redirecting their behavior ensures they feel valued and competent.

5. Collaboration Between Parents and Teachers

Kirk advises framing interactions with teachers as collaborative efforts aimed at mutual goals: the child's success and well-being.

"We're just saying, hey, we're going to begin doing this at home... and are asking the teacher to join us in this effort."
[58:50]

Steps for Effective Collaboration:

• Set Clear Objectives: Define what both parents and teachers aim to achieve within a set timeframe, such as two weeks.
• Share Specific Tools: Provide the teacher with concrete strategies that have worked at home, ensuring consistency across environments.
• Maintain Open Communication: Regularly update the teacher on progress and adjustments to strategies as needed.

Example: Suggesting that a teacher allows a child to engage in a preferred activity post-recess aligns classroom management with home practices.

6. Conclusion and Resources

Kirk wraps up the episode by encouraging parents to implement the discussed strategies and reach out for additional support through Celebrate Calm’s programs, such as the ADHD University and Brain Boosters School program. He reiterates the importance of approaching the new school year with optimism and preparedness.

"We're going to make this school year a good one and I'm excited about that."
[1:05:30]

Parents are encouraged to email Casey at CelebrateCalm.com for personalized assistance and to take advantage of ongoing sales and resource offerings.

Key Takeaways

• Concise Communication: Utilizing a structured one-pager to communicate with teachers ensures that a child’s needs are clearly understood without overwhelming educators.
• Positive Approaches: Shifting from punishment to positive reinforcement addresses the root causes of behavior, fostering a more supportive environment.
• Collaborative Efforts: Working together with teachers allows for consistent and effective strategies that benefit the child both at home and in school.
• Building Self-Esteem: Early intervention and continuous affirmation help prevent the erosion of a child’s self-confidence, promoting long-term emotional well-being.

By implementing Kirk Martin’s strategies, parents and teachers can create a more harmonious and effective educational experience for children with challenging behaviors, ultimately leading to improved academic performance and personal growth.