Podcast Summary: "I Stabbed And Killed My Childhood Abuser"

Podcast Information

• Title: Camp Gagnon
• Host: Mark Gagnon
• Episode Title: I Stabbed And Killed My Childhood Abuser
• Release Date: June 6, 2025
• Description: Home to the most interesting conversations on the internet. I'm Mark Gagnon and welcome to Camp!

Introduction

In this powerful and emotionally charged episode, host Mark Gagnon sits down with Clark Fredericks, an advocate and author known for his harrowing yet redemptive story of surviving childhood abuse and overcoming immense personal struggles. The conversation delves deep into Clark's traumatic experiences, his journey through addiction and violence, and ultimately, his path toward healing and advocacy for other abuse survivors.

Clark's Early Life and Abuse

Clark opens up about his childhood in the rural town of Stillwater, New Jersey, describing a seemingly normal middle-class family dynamic. He shares the shocking revelation of enduring sexual and psychological abuse by Dennis Pegg, his Boy Scout leader and a respected sheriff's department lieutenant, from ages 8 to 12.

Clark Fredericks [00:22]: "We were sexually and psychologically abused by our Boy Scout leader and sheriff’s officer, Dennis Peg."

Clark recounts how Dennis used his position of authority and community respect to manipulate and abuse young boys, turning trusted figures into predators.

Isolation and Manipulation

Dennis Pegg meticulously groomed Clark and his peers, using tactics like offering beer to children as young as nine and isolating them during activities. Clark describes one particularly disturbing incident where Dennis forced him to smash sunfish, demeaning the children by equating them to "worthless" creatures.

Clark Fredericks [09:17]: "He's investing years into every kid. Giving beer to us at nine years old. Think, I think how little a nine-year-old is."

Clark Fredericks [25:48]: "He was equating us gullible little boys to sunfish."

Impact on Clark's Life

The abuse had profound effects on Clark's mental health, leading to depression, substance abuse, and destructive behaviors. He details how coping mechanisms like dirt biking, alcohol, and eventually drugs became his way to escape the trauma.

Clark Fredericks [30:31]: "The rage is building. It's like a snowball just starting off down the hill. The pain doesn't diminish; it grows."

Clark reflects on his inability to form healthy relationships and maintain stable employment, attributing these struggles directly to his unresolved trauma.

Escalation to Violence

Years of untreated trauma culminated in a violent confrontation with Dennis Pegg. Clark describes the moment he decided to confront Dennis, bringing a knife to his abuser's house. The ensuing fight, marked by intense bloodshed, led to Clark killing Dennis.

Clark Fredericks [127:30]: "Look, this is what Peg did to me. I am sick. I need help."

Clark Fredericks [131:59]: "You did exactly what I’ve dreamt of doing to my abuser."

Consequences and Incarceration

Following the murder, Clark faces severe legal repercussions, including a lengthy prison sentence. He shares his experiences within the prison system, highlighting the lack of adequate mental health support and the ongoing presence of abuse among inmates.

Clark Fredericks [147:26]: "They do absolutely nothing."

Clark Fredericks [152:49]: "When you address this and you speak about it, people are going to think you're amazing."

Path to Redemption and Advocacy

While incarcerated, Clark undergoes a significant transformation through therapy and personal introspection. Influenced by works like Viktor Frankl's "Man’s Search for Meaning" and Eckhart Tolle's "The Power of Now," he begins to heal and finds purpose in advocating for victims of abuse.

Clark Fredericks [158:21]: "I work on the initial trauma. You got to confront it."

Clark's advocacy efforts contribute to the adoption of new laws in New Jersey aimed at eliminating the statute of limitations for prosecuting abusers, ensuring that survivors have greater recourse.

Clark Fredericks [168:58]: "We adopted a new law. Senator Sweeney and others finally pushed it through."

Rebuilding Personal Relationships

Upon release, Clark reconnects with the love of his life, Lisa, whom he had lost contact with decades earlier. Their reunion symbolizes Clark's ability to overcome his past and build a healthy, loving relationship.

Clark Fredericks [185:23]: "After two weeks of texting, I said, I want to get a cup of coffee. She responded, and we met for coffee and realized we still loved each other."

Final Reflections and Advice

Clark emphasizes the importance of addressing and healing from trauma to prevent a cycle of destructive behavior. He advises parents to maintain open lines of communication with their children and to create environments where children feel safe to express their fears and experiences.

Clark Fredericks [184:11]: "If you're listening and you're going to be the one who's the listener, just listen. You don't have to be the healer."

Conclusion

This episode of Camp Gagnon offers a raw and honest exploration of the long-term impacts of childhood abuse and the essential journey toward healing and advocacy. Clark Fredericks' story serves as both a cautionary tale and an inspiring testament to the resilience of the human spirit.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Clark Fredericks [09:17]: "He was a professional hunter. Children, man."
• Clark Fredericks [25:48]: "He was equating us gullible little boys to sunfish."
• Clark Fredericks [30:31]: "The rage is building. It's like a snowball just starting off down the hill."
• Clark Fredericks [127:30]: "Look, this is what Peg did to me. I am sick. I need help."
• Clark Fredericks [131:59]: "You did exactly what I’ve dreamt of doing to my abuser."
• Clark Fredericks [172:00]: "You have to confront, you have to like finally address the 500 pound gorilla in the room."

Recommendations For those interested in delving deeper into Clark Fredericks' story and his insights on trauma and redemption, his book "Scarred" is available for pre-order on Amazon and releases on July 29th.

Closing Thoughts

Clark Fredericks' harrowing yet hopeful journey underscores the critical need for open communication, effective support systems, and societal changes to protect and empower abuse survivors. His advocacy work not only honors his own healing but also paves the way for others to find their path to recovery.