Roasting Every Culture Until We Get Canceled | Neema Naz

Summary

Camp Gagnon: “Roasting Every Culture Until We Get Canceled” | Neema Naz

Host: Mark Gagnon
Guest: Neema Naz
Date: November 25, 2025

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode is a hilarious, globe-trotting exploration of cultural stereotypes, viewed through the lens of comedian Neema Naz’s Persian heritage and his wide-ranging experience with diverse communities. Mark and Neema “roast” not just Persians but Greeks, Mexicans, Lebanese, Italians, Indians, Jamaicans, Americans, and more—embracing, laughing at, and sometimes gently challenging their quirks. The discussion celebrates immigrant life, pride, cultural nuance, and an inclusive love of humanity, all while delivering fast-paced comedy and sharp observations.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Persian Stereotypes: Pride, Parties, and Perks

• Persian Humor & Stereotypes – (03:00–11:00)

  • Neema celebrates Persian humor as inherent, noting their creativity, progressiveness, and poetic spirit.
  • Stereotypes tackled include: Persians “invented everything,” being proud but not arrogant, and “good negotiators” (“always bargain, especially Persian Jews – that’s double. Forget it.” – Neema, 11:36).

• Image, Success, and Social Rituals – (21:24–41:00)

  • Persian parties (mehmounis) are analyzed: extravagant hospitality, multi-stage meals, and the art of hyping each other up at the door.
  • The core role of image: “Persians care so much about their image, and that’s one of their flaws.” (Neema, 36:45)
  • Mercedes and white German cars as status symbols: “We’ve had white cars, white German cars this whole time... we’ve never gone out of Volkswagen, Audi.” – Neema (36:35)

• Plastic Surgery & Appearance – (37:00–39:50)

  • Rhinoplasty, Botox, and surgical enhancements are prevalent, especially among Persian women and increasingly men. Stems from deep value placed on appearance and “showing up” for each other.

2. Roasting Other Cultures: Observations & Accents

• Greeks – (56:04–62:41)

  • Similarities with Persians: strong family, pride, food, love of claiming they “invented everything.”
  • Religious devotion compared: “Greeks are really religious. All the Persians I meet in America are kind of like, nah.” (Mark, 61:34)
  • Playful digs at Greek male pattern baldness, Turkish hair transplants, and Greek pop culture.

• Indians & Punjabis – (75:04–77:02)

  • “Scary” Punjabi gangs in Canada vs. America’s more academic Indian stereotypes.
  • Acknowledgement of the “warrior" element among Punjabis: “What is that? Punjabi gang? What is that? A math club?” (Mark, 76:11)
  • Shoe culture and “tarof” (a ritual of over-offering and polite refusal).

• Mexicans – (73:46–83:35)

  • Mexican-American “cholo” accents compared to Toronto “mans” slang.
  • Hilarious stereotype: Mexicans play soccer in jeans by the roadside. “Why do y’all wear jeans when you play soccer?” “Because we gotta go to work after.” (80:09)
  • Family and work ethic, with stories from border towns and “956” (South Texas) accents.

• Jamaicans – (77:02–78:10, 113:56–115:24)

  • Impersonations and stereotypes: distinctive patois, youth adopting Jamaican slang in Toronto.
  • “Jamaicans are so homophobic they won’t order fish.” (114:41)

• Other Cultures

  • Turks: proximity to Persians, cosmetic surgery tourism, and hospitality. (54:01)
  • Lebanese: “Dabke” dance explained; confusion between Persian and Lebanese party rituals.

3. Cultural Rituals & Expressions

• Persian Compliments & Insults – (45:21–51:50)

  • “I want to eat your liver” as a loving phrase; Farsi expressions’ creative intensity.
  • Animal-themed playful insults: “Why are you chewing like a llama?” or “sitting like a goat.”
  • Profanity: Highly inventive and taboo, reverse-constructed compared to English (“the of mother”). (53:05)

• Mehmanis (Persian Family Parties) – (14:10–26:14)

  • Detailed breakdown: multi-hour feasts, dancing (bishkan/snapping), poetry readings, competitive hospitality, gift-giving, and social hierarchies in kitchen chores.
  • Comparison to other immigrant cultures, and comic parallels with American and black community greetings.

4. Diaspora Dynamics & Cultural Comparison

• Iranians in Canada vs. US – (30:55–34:42)

  • Canadian Persians: “more fob,” culturally insular, less acclimation.
  • L.A./American Persians: more assimilated, Americanized, and open to new values.
  • Neighborhoods: Yonge Street in Toronto (“Little Iran”) vs. Glendale, LA.

• American & Canadian Identity – (84:54–96:20)

  • Mark on Florida’s three-cultures-in-one-state, from “southern gents” to “North Caribbean.”
  • Neema on America’s unique “go-getter” mentality, contrast with Canada and “tall poppy syndrome” in Australia. (96:20–100:17)

5. Humanity, Travel & Universal Truths

• On Universal Experience – (93:32–96:20)

  • “Every city... they are mad about two things: traffic and construction.” (Mark, 94:10)
  • “People are way more in common than they are different... they love their kids, want good education, healthcare would be nice.” – Mark (95:16)
  • America as a “philosophy” rather than an ethnicity.

• On Comedy, Poetry, and Dirty Talk – (41:33–44:49)

  • Persian poetic tradition links to skill with words, both on stage and in romance: “The main compliment I get—‘You just know how to make me feel good.’” – Neema (43:32)
  • Standup comedy as a performative extension of centuries-old traditions of poetry and wit.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Persian Parties & Generosity:

  • “When someone covers a bill for you, or they, like, did something... the literal translation is ‘may your hands not hurt.’” – Neema (48:13)
  • “At a Persian party, you have to start just hyping up everyone. As soon as you see people... You’re pretty much like, I’m your servant; I’m eternally grateful for your presence.” – Neema (19:46)

• On Stereotypes, Self-Deprecation, and Comedy:

  • “Every stereotype is true. My own dad, he’s an engineer, obviously... we’re watching basketball, NBA... He’s like, ‘Jamal Murray, he’s Persian.’” – Neema (08:08)
  • “All of you Persians... think you invented everything.” – Mark (07:44)
  • “Persians aren’t arrogant about it... It’s not cockiness, it’s confidence.” – Neema (10:13)

• On Cultural Pride & Comparison:

  • “The American dream is something that everyone knows about. The Canadian dream is not as strong...” – Mark (35:05)
  • “Persians and Greeks are very similar... We both think we invented everything.” – Neema (61:13)

• On Universal Experience:

  • “You realize every city has the same problem. They’re mad about two things: traffic and construction.” – Mark (94:10)
  • “People have way more in common than they are different.” – Mark (95:16)

• On Persian “Tarof”:

  • “You offer to pay for the bill: ‘No, please, I have to’... ‘No, no, don’t tarof, I have to’... If I don’t, I die.” – Neema (108:27)

• On Untranslatable Compliments:

  • “You say, ‘I want to eat your liver’—which is insane to think about, but you’d say it all the time.” – Neema (46:08)

• On American Weirdness (cultural outliers):

  • “White Americans are the weirdest people, we’re the weirdest immigrants.” – Mark (111:05)
  • “Our relationship with dogs as white Americans is a little strange... Americans, they make out their dogs.” – Neema (113:07)

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Timestamps of Major Segments

• 03:00–11:00 – Persian humor, inventing everything, family pride
• 14:10–26:14 – Persian family parties, hospitality, rituals, handshakes, gifts
• 30:55–35:03 – Iranian diaspora in Canada vs. US, assimilation
• 37:00–39:50 – Rhinoplasty, appearance, plastic surgery culture
• 45:21–51:50 – Farsi compliments, animal insults, profanity
• 54:01–55:51 – Turks, cosmetic tourism, diaspora flows
• 61:34–62:41 – Greek and Persian religious outlooks
• 73:46–83:35 – Mexican, Indian, and Toronto accents, Mexican soccer stereotypes
• 84:54–93:00 – Florida identity, regional US diversity
• 93:32–96:20 – Universal takeaways from travel: common humanity, traffic & construction
• 96:20–100:17 – “Tall Poppy Syndrome” and the struggle to chase big dreams outside America
• 108:15–109:14 – “Tarof” and shoe removal rituals in Persian (and Indian) culture
• 113:56–115:24 – Final roast: Jamaicans and anti-fish homophobia

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Conclusion & Tone

The episode blends deep affection for cultural quirks with relentless, good-natured ribbing. Neema’s impersonations and unique insights keep the pace brisk and playful, while both comics show a heartfelt respect for their own and others’ backgrounds:

“It brings me to life knowing there are other people like me who obsess over different cultures and have a lust for learning about new people... accents and languages. We’re all stuck on this planet together. Might as well learn what everyone’s up to.” – Neema Naz (115:56)

The result is a smart, joyful tribute to the world’s nuances—and a reminder that beneath every stereotype, people just want good food, laughter, and a place at the table.

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Transcript

[A]

Winner.

[B]

Gagnon.

[A]

And then you go to Florida. It's Gagnon.

[B]

Gagnon. It sounds like a bondage. Yeah. You want to try some Gagnon? You go on room five.

[A]

This is Nima Naz. He's the Persian prince, the Shah of sex appeal, the Tehran Titan, the Caspian King, the Saffron Sultan. But I know him as just a brilliant comedian from Toronto. You may know Nima from his stand up comedy or his Internet sketches. And today we are going through the stereotype Olympics. That's right, Nima's Persian. So obviously we gotta do a deep dive on every single Persian stereotype known to man. But not just the Persians. We got the Mexicans, the Greeks, the Aussies. Nobody is safe. Today we're gonna get to the core of what makes all of these cultures so great. And of course, what makes them so funny. Nima is a genius. I mean, I'm just a huge fan of his. His accents are hilarious and his understanding of his culture and other cultures is unmatched.

[B]

You know what that means, Mark? You're a Persian.

[A]

This whole time. This whole time I was searching for a Persian who's in the mir.

[B]

You are Persian.

[A]

Amir is actually going to be my son's name. Both of us share a real passion for human beings and all of the little nuances of, you know, how different people operate. So if you are interested in traveling the world from your very home, you're gonna enjoy this episode. So sit back, relax, and welcome to camp. This episode is brought to you by Jack Daniels. Jack Daniels and music are made for each other. They share a rhythm in the craft of something timeless while being a part of legendary nights. From backyard jams to sold out arenas, there's a song in every toast. Please drink responsibly. Responsibility.org, jack Daniels and Old no. 7 are registered trademarks. Tennessee whiskey, 40% alcohol by volume. Jack Daniel Distillery, Lynchburg, Tennessee. This episode is brought to you by ebay. Before all the algorithm fed blah and the endless sea of dupes, shopping used to feel more fun. Find that feeling again on ebay. It's not mindless scrolling. It's a fashion pursuit. And when you score that rare Adidas Collab or the Dior saddlebag you've been manifesting, it's a rush.

[B]

Ebay has millions of pre loved finds.

[A]

From hundreds of brands backed by authenticity guarantee. EBay.

[B]

Things people love.

[A]

Neiman Naz. How are you, sir?

[B]

Great.

[A]

Thank you so much for joining me.

[B]

Lovely to be here in the camp.

[A]

In the camp. Dude, you gotta really emphasize the eh.

[B]

Camp.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's exactly.

[A]

That's how people make fun of him. Mostly just my friends.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Like, cuz I started saying like, welcome to camp, and then it was slowly get more and more. And now it's just camp. Yeah.

[B]

Camp.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Camp Gag Nod.

[A]

You look wonderful, by the way.

[B]

Thank you, man.

[A]

Yeah. This is a sick outfit.

[B]

Shout out, kid. Super, huh?

[A]

Yeah. Courtesy of the kid.

[B]

Dude, I look like I'm from New York now.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, if you look like you were born in this, like, it doesn't look like something you put on today. This is just you. And then you had a sick outfit. I was like, all right, well, put on my cowboy.

[B]

Yeah. Now you're from Texas.

[A]

Yeah. Come on now. Come on now. Come on now.

[B]

Hey, we want to talk about, man.

[A]

Come on, partner.

[B]

Come on, man.

[A]

You and I have a. A shared passion, different cultures.

[B]

Oh, we do.

[A]

We talked about this briefly before we started, and I'm fascinated by you because I love Persians, which you claim to be Persians too, but you might be Mexican. You might be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You might be Turkish, Italian, Italian, Arab. No one really knows.

[B]

No one knows.

[A]

But allegedly. Allegedly Persian.

[B]

Allegedly.

[A]

So I want you to tell me, dude, why are Persians funny? What do you guys do? What's going on with y', all, man?

[B]

You know what it is? It's. I feel like the funny is inherent in our culture because we are such creative, innovative, fun, bubbly type of people. Because I feel like back in the day before the revolution happened in Iran too. It was. Iran was a very progressive country.

[A]

Yeah. Can we pull up pictures of women in Iran? Pre revolution.

[B]

Yeah. Or specifically women in bikinis?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. On the. Specifically Mrs. Nas N. Mrs. Mrs. Future.

[B]

N. And so I feel like, because they had such freedom to be who they were and, you know, they're very creative, you know, very poetic, roomy. One of the greatest poets of all time.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

Very musical, musically talented people. I just feel like they. They just had a lust for life always. And they. They still do. And especially after the revolution happened and where, like, you know, religion was kind of forced on the people. The people who fled, like my own parents and they came to Canada or us. They wanted to really accentuate the good parts of the culture, which was the fun part and the creative side that no one. Sorry, I don't know if I can swear, but you're.

[A]

You've required to. Yeah. At least three languages.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, I can swear a lot in my language. They want to really show the good parts about. About the positive sides of our culture to the Western people because they don't know us for that.

[A]

Yeah. And so, yeah, America, we have a very distorted view of. Of Iranians. Iran as of Iranians.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is new. Favorite thing, anytime someone says Iran, I say it's Iran.

[B]

It's Iran.

[A]

Iran.

[B]

Baba is Iran. It's really Persia, but, you know. Yeah, and that's another thing too, is like, to this day, people are still confused and there's still a debate between, like, Iranian people themselves about whether they're called Iranians or Persians.

[A]

Well, I've even heard this with the language. Like, people say, like, yeah, I speak Farsi.

[B]

And they'll be like, Persian? Yeah. And then you say, yeah, I speak Persian. Is Farsi. Idiot.

[A]

Come on, come on.

[B]

Like, which is it, bro?

[A]

People do this. People do this with China too. They'll be like, oh, yeah, you speak Chinese. And they always speak Mandarin. But then I'll meet Chinese people. Like, yeah, I speak Chinese. Well, which one is it, dude?

[B]

Or Cantonese? It's like, that's not Chinese. What do you mean? Then what is it?

[A]

Yeah, it's all over the place. In America, we. Look, I feel like now with obviously the, you know, geopolitical conflicts, I don't know if you've heard about this. There's all sorts of. People are pretty mad over there, you know.

[B]

Oh, man, there's.

[A]

There's all sorts of riff raff, you.

[B]

Know, tons of riff. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

These scoundrels on both sides. I know, I'm crazy. So as result, in America, we just see Iran and it's like this oppressive thing and all the women are covered up in Sharia law and they're violent. Da, da. No one can go in and out. And it's like, that's the only thing we see.

[B]

Y.

[A]

But then in America, you know, if you're in the right neighborhoods, if you're fortunate enough to run into a Persian, you're like, these aren't the people I see on tv. No, this isn't Call of Duty. No, these guys are nice and they're fun and they're loud, you know, I mean, it's like, it's all the great things you love about a culture, 100%. Because I feel like, tell me if I'm wrong. All the ones that left were the ones that were like, yeah, this.

[B]

Yeah, well, yeah, that's what I was saying is like, I feel like, you know, like, for example, my own parents, they. They left because of the, the, the. The lack of freedom that they had once before. And so they know what it's like, right? And so they wanted to bring it over to. To this side of the world. And now it's like a debate of like, oh, like, well, why are you against your country? It's like, no, I'm not against the country. I'm against the government.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's against its own people, right? Which is insane.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, for Persians.

[B]

I'm for the Persian, man. They are very nice color reading, book expression characteristics. Everything is really very sexy.

[A]

Man.

[B]

I see the.

[A]

It's beautiful. But I have to be honest with you, I have a bit of a gripe with Persians.

[B]

Okay, what does gripe mean? Can't just throw.

[A]

It's like a small fruit on a vine. I think they're very yummy. They make wine also for anyone that's watching. And maybe if you're not Persian, you don't know Persians. We're going to get to everybody, okay? We're going to talk about, you know, Greeks and Mexicans. Oh, the whole deal. We're talking about everyone, okay? But we're just starting with Persia for now. And we're starting with them because, you guys, in my opinion. Tell me if I'm wrong. You think you invented everything.

[B]

I actually will say that you're wrong, because Greeks invented everything.

[A]

Okay, well, everyone. Everyone thinks they invented everything. You talk to Egyptians, they're like, oh, the center of the universe. You're like, oh, my goodness. But Persians, you guys, yeah, you talk about math and you're like, oh, you know, we invented.

[B]

Oh, buddy. It's like my whole life growing up. Obviously, I'm joking. Like, that's a whole other thing about Greeks saying they invented everything.

[A]

Because we'll get to you, Chris.

[B]

We'll get to that. And it's a Griffos. We will get to you Persians. Well, yeah. Like, every stereotype is true. Because my own dad, he's an engineer, obviously, growing up. Every time it would be funny because I'm watching basketball, watching the NBA or something like that, he would even be like, oh, yeah, this guy's. He's Persian. Like, I'm. I swear to God, we're watching the game one time, I'm like, yo, what's his name? Jamal Murray. He's on the Denver Nuggets, right, Jamal? Yeah. He's like, hey, Jamal. Yeah, he's piercing. Yeah. Like, he's dead serious, too. Like, bro, he's not Persian. He's black. He's from Mississauga, Ontario.

[A]

Oh, thank you for the Google Christos. He said, is Jamal okay?

[B]

Her mother Syrian. I actually didn't know that. It's actually pretty close to my people in a way.

[A]

Dude, your dad's.

[B]

My dad might be honest from that, actually. I apologize. Come on. I. Sorry for it. But anyway, so it's a big thing with Persians. Like, yeah. Like, you know, mathematicians or it's like, oh, like, yeah. Oh, my. We're driving. My dad's like, oh, you see that building right there? Yeah, yeah. Persian are the reason why that exists. I was like, why? They make the steel for the bar, you know, like, what the. What do you mean? That could be any steel. Like, you're using.

[A]

No, no, Persian.

[B]

No, it's Persian.

[A]

And they're building falls on tv and.

[B]

He'S like, not the person. Never didn't make mistake like that. It's a real thing. Even when you travel on vacation, Persians, they'll look at, like, architecture and be like, yeah, he's okay. Yeah, maybe if it was Persian architecture, I think he's much better.

[A]

I love the cultural pride, though. Like, I do love that there's like a. There's like a. Like a real honest, like. Yeah, we're the best.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And other people are good.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, we're the best. But you know what it is? But Persians aren't arrogant about it. They're not like, we think everyone's shit, right? We just think, like, we're just. We are number one, Number one real estate. Number one real estate, number one lawyer. Right. But everyone else is still good.

[A]

They.

[B]

They care. They actually want other people to do well, too. It's just, you know, they have this little bit of. It's the confidence. It's not cockiness, it's confidence.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's also fun for me because so many of the comics that I liked growing up are all Persian. I didn't even realize. Yeah. I mean, like Mars, I loved. I was out in LA watching Mars, like when I was, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like freshman year high school, I was.

[B]

Like, oh, wow, that's crazy.

[A]

And then I went and watched the Axis of Evil stuff and I was like, oh, this is unbelievable.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then Maximini, you know, Amir K.

[B]

Amir K. One of my favorites. Amir K. Amir is like my favorite.

[A]

Person, maybe my favorite ever. I went and saw him at Leno Improv after I saw him in LA one time, and I was like, I'm going 45 minute drive.

[B]

Who cares? I'll drive three hours. He's the best.

[A]

Yeah. And then like, I'm. I'm Tehran.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm trying to Think if there's others.

[B]

Omi, Jalili. Do you know Omid? He's the. He's like the godfather of Persian comedians overall. He's like the first person to make it mainstream as a Persian comedian.

[A]

Long lineage.

[B]

Yeah, long lineage.

[A]

Okay, so how do we put the people? Oh, yeah, I actually just read his article in the Guardian.

[B]

Best man. He's the. Yeah. And he was at the. The.

[A]

He's in Riyadh.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Red Festival.

[A]

So tell me more about Persian stereotypes, because I want to know. I know a couple of them. Okay.

[B]

What are the ones that you know? All right.

[A]

You guys are terrorists. I didn't want to say. You said it, dude. You asked me. That's the first thing. No, I mean, I know, obviously, like, good negotiators. Okay. Tough to negotiate with. Like you're on the other side of a person.

[B]

Always bargain.

[A]

Especially Persian Jew. That's double.

[B]

Forget it. You have no chance.

[A]

Yeah, there's no way. No chance. I. Oh, I. I don't know if you've ever heard of the Persian tire change.

[B]

Persian what change?

[A]

Persian tire change.

[B]

Oh, no. What is that?

[A]

This is. This is something that I heard from a Persian friend. Okay.

[B]

Entire change.

[A]

This is what I heard. It's a little, you know, disparaging, but this is what I heard, right? It's not a sex myth. It's. You have, like, a nice car, maybe a Mercedes. You got to go get the tires changed, right? Because the tires run out. It's going to be 500, a thousand dollars maybe, easily. Or you could rent the same Mercedes, take it to your friend Dariush, changes the tires, puts it back on, and then you return the car, and then it's fine. Persian tire change.

[B]

This is very true, I'm afraid to admit. Literally, bro. As you were explaining, I was like, oh, yeah, this is actually what happened.

[A]

You guys just called it tire change. That's why. That's why you didn't know.

[B]

No, this is not tire is change my tire. That's the. That's the name. My dad's best friend, Reza. He owns it. He's a mechanic. Owns a mechanic shop. We've been doing that for years. 30 years, bro.

[A]

And now people listen to say, that's a good idea.

[B]

Yeah, it's a great idea.

[A]

Why did I think of that?

[B]

I know. 100. That's a good one.

[A]

Okay. The. I mean, this thing the best can.

[B]

I can't even do it. I'm a disgrace to my family.

[A]

Hold on, let me. That's not bad. But sometimes you'd be at a wedding. Oh, you hear that? If you guys can't see what we're doing, we're basically our hands together. Yeah. But it's making a beautiful clapping sound. Like a little snap.

[B]

It's like, almost like a. It's almost like a. A clapping cheeks.

[A]

Just imagine that it's a young Dinklage going after it, you know? I mean. Yeah, that's kind of what it sounds like. Yeah, he's a Persian.

[B]

He's a person. Peter is actually paym. That's from my mom. Yeah. My dad thought LeBron James was Persian, too. You know, he's Londigue. Lobron.

[A]

Yeah. He's a king.

[B]

Jam sheets. Basketball. Basketball. He's Persian. But what is.

[A]

What is this? Where does this come from? When is this used? If I meet a Persian. When. When would this come? Is this how I shake hands?

[B]

No, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. We don't shake hands either. You just. You do. Three kisses, two kisses.

[A]

Oh, it's a kissing culture. Oh, yeah. I didn. Says that. I didn't. I thought it was a French thing.

[B]

No, no, no, no, no. It's a Persian thing. Don't be stupid. The kissing is Persian.

[A]

We invented kissing.

[B]

We invented all the kissing, making out. So the Beshkan, the snapping your fingers thing, is only used in. In a thing called mehmuni. Do you know what a mehmuni is? Okay, so mehmuni is a. Is the term for having a. It's like a Persian family gathering. Like a party. Persian party, it's called. And that's when everyone gathers at the end of the party, family party, after everyone's eating dinner. Now it's time for, like, the entertainment. So there's stages to a. There's. There's. It's like. It's. It's a. It's a whole formula.

[A]

I may have unintentionally gone to one of these when I had a friend growing up who's Persian.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And his family was like, hey, come over for dinner.

[B]

Right?

[A]

And I thought it was like, yeah, his mom's gonna heat up chicken nuggets. Like, it was. I didn't realize that it was a thing.

[B]

That's the whitest thing ever.

[A]

So I up, and there's, like, a full spread on the table. Oh, yeah. And it's just like six of us. Like, his parents, his brother Amir.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And, like, my friend. And then it was like another friend of. It was like a small thing. It was just like, yeah, we're going to eat. And so they brought out the rice, the saffron.

[B]

Oh, my God. Basmati.

[A]

The basmati. And then we obviously had kabob. And then at a certain. A certain point, I can't remember, it was before. After we had tea.

[B]

Yeah, that's. That's us. That's always. Actually. You have it before and after. It's usually after you eat dinner.

[A]

And then we walked in a circle and danced.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we, like. You had to, like, drop down and then go down?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did this ring a bell? Oh, well, was that part of a cult? Did I get initiated into something?

[B]

Okay, first of all, there might be a flaw in your story, because you said something about dropping down. Are you sure this friend of yours was Persian?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, 100 person. A million percent.

[B]

Because what you're talking about, based off my knowledge of the dancer you're explaining, is something that Lebanese people do called the dabke.

[A]

The dabka.

[B]

You never heard of it?

[A]

No.

[B]

Yeah. So dabke is the dance where there's, like. There's usually. It's usually men who lead the. The circle, and when the. For the leader has a tissue in his hand or like a. Some kind of baton or something like that or something that he can, like, swing back and forth, and he. They're all linking arms, and they're going in a circle to the music, and they're, like, doing their things with their. With their feet. Kind of like a. Like an Arab seawalk.

[A]

Pull this up, and then they drop.

[B]

Down on their knees. Like, they have, like, crazy knee inflections. It's crazy.

[A]

Every white person I know is, like, a bad mcl.

[B]

These guys don't have knee cartilage. Like, they're just running off of saffron and. And tabouli.

[A]

So can you get a video of this?

[B]

Yeah, it's. It's fire. It's so sick, too. Yeah. Nice.

[A]

Yeah. We got to give, you know, our little piece to YouTube. Of course. Right, buddy.

[B]

It's a premium. What are we doing?

[A]

Too cheap. This guy Greek.

[B]

Look, they're gonna drop down their knees. Hey, you see what I mean? The leader with the. With a little, like, handkerchief. Was it similar to this is what you remember?

[A]

I feel like it was. It wasn't exactly like this, but it was similar. Ish. So.

[B]

So what you're talking about. Yeah. Like, this is fire, and they also know it.

[A]

This is, like, seeing black people, like, roll.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what I mean? And you're like, how do you all know it? How does everyone know it? On skates.

[B]

I know. Yeah. Legit. So much rhythm.

[A]

Okay, so wait.

[B]

Okay, so this is Lebanese dubka, but what you're explaining to me is, were you holding hands in the circle?

[A]

Dude, this was, like, 15 years ago. I don't think we were.

[B]

Okay, regardless of that.

[A]

Either way, his mom was a part of it. As we were going around, like, she was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's Persian.

[B]

Yeah, the best kind is very perfect.

[A]

She was doing the best kind as.

[B]

We were going around, like, you know the music.

[A]

What song is that?

[B]

I don't know. It's just. I think It's a top 40 billboard hit.

[A]

It's all of them. This is all.

[B]

By Cyrus. So they do dance in circles, too, at the memony.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And so they do the bishkan. They clap their hands. You can clap your hands.

[A]

You can fish.

[B]

Can you? Or you can, like, shake your shoulder.

[A]

Oh, Nice.

[B]

Yeah, you just feel the rhythm, you know, like that. And then you can also, like. Like, if you can't do any of those things and you don't have rhythm, you can always just yell. You can be the guy yelling. That's like. That's like the. The last step in a Persian dance.

[A]

There's just one guy. On just.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

Or just ad Living.

[B]

Yeah. Or you can just like. Yeah, you literally add like. Like, I literally have been in circles where I can actually dance, too, but sometimes I don't want to dance. I'm like, vi, vi, vi, vi, vi, vi. You say that's all you got to do.

[A]

Does that mean anything?

[B]

It just means, like, oh. Like, ah. It's like, oh. It's like that. It's like, v. That's kind of nice.

[A]

So I was a part of this.

[B]

You were. You were a part of this without even realizing. So you know what that means, Mark? You're a Persian.

[A]

This whole time. This whole time I was searching for a Persian, he was in the mirror.

[B]

You are a person.

[A]

A mirror is actually going to be my son's name. That's perfect.

[B]

Mark. You are Persian, and Persian is Mark. Wow, that's poetry.

[A]

It's like a shahada.

[B]

I know. I just dropped bars.

[A]

You just put me in, dude.

[B]

So anyway, so that's. That's the Mahmoud portion. But there's so much more to it. I don't know. But yeah, I mean, what else, man? Like, there's a whole, like. So when you walk in the handshake. You're talking about handshakes. So when you walk into a Persian party, you have to like, start just, like, hyping up everyone It's a real thing. I'm not even joking. Like, you start as soon as you see people. You open the door. The host is always like, Like. Like, you're pretty much like my. I'm your servant. Like, off the bat, you set the tone as a host because it's like your house. It's your food that you're presenting. It's the music. You're presenting, like, the. The vibes. So, like, the host is always like, oh, my God, welcome. Like, I'm, like, eternally grateful of your presence. They say all these things in Farsi, obviously, and stuff like that. And then it's like, they make you feel so welcome. And then, like, usually you have to bring something if you're going to a guest house. It's, like, standard in some other immigrant cultures, too, but in Persian culture, if you don't, they will talk shit about you after.

[A]

Would be a good gift, though.

[B]

It could be anything. It could be honestly recycled box of chocolate that you got it from a different manhune, which usually what people do.

[A]

And just pass it. Everyone just guesses.

[B]

Everyone has the same thing. Yeah.

[A]

Expired, like, 97.

[B]

And then, like, it goes back to the host and like, wait, I gifted this to Marjorie. How is it back at my house? The same. People recycle it.

[A]

Flowers or flowers be.

[B]

You could. Not. Not necessarily flowers. Usually it's like something that you could. Someone can eat, like dessert, like. Or something homemade. A lot of people bring homemade, like, desserts. You never bring homemade food. That'll be a disrespect.

[A]

That'd be rude, right?

[B]

Because my mom, which is my mom, hosts, hosted probably the most out of anyone I know because she's the best cook, like, and everyone knew my mom was the best. She's a goat. She's number one.

[A]

Number one.

[B]

She's cooking up for two days.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

This food with like, eight pots of.

[A]

Rice, and you show up with your.

[B]

Coleslaw, the raisins in it. You nothing. How dare you come into my home like this? So anyway, you come in with a gift, like, something like that's like a dessert or like a. A sweet or, you know, maybe sometimes the people bring like, a nice little, like a tea set because it's very on brand. Right? And then you walk in, you do the three kisses, like, hi. Hi. How are you? Good.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Very nice. Yeah, thank you. Oh, my God, I'm so happy to be there. Very nice. Nice. It's like. Like, just like, oh, my God.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

It's like, it's. Honestly, it's like black people seeing each other. It's the best. Hey, yo.

[A]

Damn. You got the fit. Yeah, you got the fit.

[B]

It's like, it's that you gotta hype each other up and then you get in, you literally sit for like three hours before dinner. There's like already like two pre dinners set up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

With like, you know, nuts, tons of nuts, dried fruits, other sweets, tea. Always tea going around.

[A]

He never runs out.

[B]

He never runs out. Yeah, it's constantly in your veins, dude. There's even a guy with a funnel at some point if you need it. If you need more of it at once.

[A]

And what is the tea like? Is it a mint tea? Is it like, whatever.

[B]

It's like usually like jasmine tea. There's like green teas. My mom likes green tea a lot. It's a lot of those, like herbal, very like exotic Middle Eastern teas.

[A]

Not too caffeinated though.

[B]

No, no, no. It's usually very, very. Not decaffeinated either, but like it's somewhere in the middle. Yeah, it's just. Yeah, it's just something like a cultural thing. And they have sugar cubes, they have sugar. They have sugar rocks. Yeah, it's called Chai Nabot. It's like you twirl the rocks of candy in your tea.

[A]

Oh, I've seen.

[B]

That's how you're supposed to drink it. Yeah. And then you drink that. Whatever. Anyway, and then everyone just taught. The men are talking about politics and the women are talking about gossiping about other women and other people. Oh, so what is your kid doing? Oh, yeah, I was at Walmart and they had two, two for one clearance. Oh my God, me too. I saw a sleeper size four, but I'm size five. It's like just that.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

For three hours. But then men are like, yeah, Iran, I think, you know, is unfair. Everything is unfair. We deserve much better. Oh, really?

[A]

So let's be kind of like very about like politics back home.

[B]

Yeah, that's it. Yeah, it's all like, you know, wholesome stu stuff and like, you know, good. But yeah, that's usually how it is.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

And then dinner time.

[A]

Feast.

[B]

Feast. Everyone. Everyone's around the dinner table just crushing rice and stews. Crushing. And all the kids are running around their iPads being annoying.

[A]

Yeah, under the table.

[B]

Under the table. Running around. Yeah, this whole thing, man, that's the whole. And then food finishes. And then the men go back to politics a bit. The women clean. And even to this day, it's like.

[A]

That even the most like career woman. Like I'm a lawyer.

[B]

Oh yeah. She's like, still help. She's like the third option because my mom is the goat. She's like, buddy, like she vets women to be like, all right, you only clean the plates or you only bring the cops. You don't need to do anything else because you're gonna, because you're gonna it up.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah, it's real. There's a hierarchy.

[A]

That's so.

[B]

Hierarchy of, of like, like women who are cleaning, you know, that's the way it is. And if the men like, or especially the kids, like the boys try to help, they're like, well, just because you're gonna ruin it. Yeah, like just like just go, just, just go have fun.

[A]

That's the thing. Like I like if women are forced to be in the kitchen, it's bad. But more often than not they're forcing men out.

[B]

Yeah, we're the oppressed.

[A]

Where are the oppressed, bro? I'm trying to help my wife and I'm like, hey, can I just do the dishwasher? She goes, how are you gonna load it? It just the way it is. She goes, no, no, no, no, because you have to put these plates here, these ones here. Cuz it doesn't clean if you put them.

[B]

And I'm like, right away you're done, you're already out.

[A]

And people think I'm doing it on purpose to be dumb. No, I loaded it the way I thought to load it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which is in order.

[B]

That's.

[A]

Yeah, there's a giant pan on top that's going right in the middle. I don't give a.

[B]

It's a quadratic formula.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

You learned the Pythagorean theorem when you're younger. This is exactly, this is my mathematical knowledge.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Going into this dishwasher.

[A]

Oh yeah, they came out. It's not fair.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. So you deserve a place in the kitchen too.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, yeah, I guess it's just like, just to eat. There's no other reason for this to be.

[A]

Just get away.

[B]

Anyway. Yeah.

[A]

So this is like a four hour affair.

[B]

Oh, more than that. It's at least five. Six hours starts at seven, starts at six. Ish. And it'll go depending on what night. Cuz sometimes there's Sunday ones where it's like it starts at 3 and then it ends at like 10. But then Friday, Saturday night. Yeah. Starts at like 6, 6:30. They show up at 8, it goes till 2 in the morning.

[A]

Easy. Are people drinking?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, some people. Not the whole party. There's usually one or two dedicated uncles who are crushing beers and tequila. Okay, it's mostly tequila.

[A]

Is that the drink of choice amongst. Amongst Persians?

[B]

Yeah, Persians are like the Mexicans of Persians. I don't know if that makes sense. They love tequila.

[A]

Just. Just Modelos and tequila all day. That's so funny.

[B]

That's the only thing they'll drink too. Like, yeah, they'll drink whiskey here and there and stuff like that too. But it's nothing near tequila.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

That's why me, even as a westernized Persian kid, I was born and raised in Toronto, Canada. The only drink I've ever drank that I actually enjoyed was tequila.

[A]

It's just in your veins.

[B]

She's in my blood.

[A]

It's hereditary.

[B]

It's hereditary.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

Tequila's Persian.

[A]

What's up, guys? We're gonna take a break really quick because I gotta tell you a story. Imagine you're sitting in your house, it's cold outside. It's a little snowy. And you're like, man, I just want a panini. So you go and you order it, you know, from a. From doordash or something like that. And it never gets to you. You're looking at the app, you're like, dude, it's been four hours. Where's my panini? You're calling? No one answers. Well, this is a true story that happened. There was a woman, a client that was working as a doordash driver, and she slipped and fell on an icy walkway outside of a Panera Bread in Fort Wayne, Indiana. She breaks her elbow, which leads to surgery and hardware having to get inserted into her arm. She can't work. And originally, you know, she sues Panera. And Panera's like, okay, we'll give you like 125,000. But then the good people over at Morgan and Morgan fought for her and got her the million dollar verdict that she deserved. Yes. If you never heard of him, Morgan. Morgan is America's largest injury law firm. Yes. And they are that way for a reason. They've been fighting for the people for over 35 years. Now, I'll be honest. If I ordered, you know, a panini and the woman gets paid a million bucks because she slipped. I mean, it's a tragic thing to happen, of course, but I deserve a little bit of that. I. I should get a cut at least, right? As I'm the one to order the panini. If I never ordered that panini, she never would have slipped, Never got a million bucks, which obviously she deserved. You know what I mean? But maybe next time she gets a million and million point one. I can get a cool a hundred thousand out of that. Regardless. All I'm saying is if you're ever injured and you are looking to get the money that you deserved, the compensation that is entitled to you from your injuries, Morgan and Morgan could be the way to go. Hiring the wrong law firm can be disastrous. I mean, you can be locked up and litigate. It's a nightmare. But hiring the right law firm could substantially increase your settlement. And with Morgan and Morgan, it's easy to get started. Their fee is $0 unless they win. That's right, their fee is free. Unless they win your case, you don't pay zero. You pay zero cents. Unless they win your case. You can visit forthepeople.com gagnon g a g n o n that is f o r the people.com gagnon or dial pound law. That's pound 529 from your cell phone. That's for the people.com gagnon or click the link in the description below. And thank you so much to the good folks over at Morgan and Morgan for sponsoring this program and making this show possible with this paid advertisement. Let's get back to the show. This episode is brought to you by Netflix. Global superstar and comedy sensation Kevin Hart returns for his fifth Netflix special.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Yeah, this one's a class.

[A]

This one's a classic. Like you drive around Glendale.

[B]

Yeah. And California is California. And American Persians are different than Canadian Persians, they're very different.

[A]

Right. Tell me.

[B]

Because California, which. I'm only saying California because most of the Persians in US are in California and specifically la. Glendale area. Those are all. The Persian Jews are.

[A]

Right.

[B]

There's no Persian Jews in Canada.

[A]

Ah.

[B]

They're all in the States.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

The. The. And this actually ties into comedy shows too. And I'll tell you in a second. So I feel like. Okay, so the, The. The Persians who are in Toronto and like Canada and Vancouver.

[A]

Right.

[B]

All over Canada. They're more like. They're more fobs. They're more like Iranian. Like Iran. Like, I am. Everything's about Iran, which is good. You know, they're very prideful.

[A]

They left five years ago, 10 years ago.

[B]

Yeah. Or they left 30 years ago and they still haven't acclimated.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Like. Like my own mom. Like, I don't actually blame her, but like, she, like, you know, she speaks English, like here, like a little bit here and there. Like, she can understand and like, kind of respond, but she still has, like a thick accent. That's where a lot of my comedy comes from. Right. A lot of her generation who came over to Canada, I feel like they, they. They never immersed themselves in like, Canadian culture as much. Not that they were against it or they tried to like overshine Canadian culture with their own culture. It's just that they stuck together only for the most part. And it didn't help in a way because Yonge street in Toronto is the largest street in. In Canada and I think in the world world. Young Street. I don't know if you can look it up actually. Young street in Toronto, Canada. And it's actually yesterday they just announced Little Iran. I saw this, which is on Young and Finch area.

[A]

I think that's how dumb I am. I thought Young was like a Persian guy's name. Like, I thought literally Ron was there. And then I thought it was like Young it. Because it's Young.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Maybe that's version. I don't know.

[B]

That's not a person name.

[A]

So that's just some random.

[B]

That would be funny, though.

[A]

Yeah. I was like this Y.

[B]

Perfume. That's hilarious. That's the first thing that came up. They. Yeah. So they just announced Little Iran in. In. In Toronto, which is pretty cool because that's the biggest. Yeah, that's the largest population of. Of Persians in Canada outside of Iran. And actually Toronto is the third biggest population of. Of Persians outside of Iran after la. LA has the number one. Number one. So the difference is that I feel Like Iranians and Persians that are in. In Canada, they're more like amongst themselves. In Yonge street, it's all Persian. Like, it's. It's kind of like. What's a good example? Like, it's not. It's not like Chinatown, where it's like a big, whole neighborhood. It's just one street.

[A]

You go up and down the street.

[B]

It's all like, Persian restaurant, Persian bakery, Persian nut store, Persian sweet store, Persian tea, Persian nut, Persian nut, Persian tea, Persian sweets in a house of a Persian guy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Persian Jamal and Cheyenne's house, Persian knots. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

So.

[B]

And my mom, she's. She was. She managed like, 11 different restaurants, Persian takeout restaurants, in the 30 years that they were here in Canada.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

So, like, that whole strip is just full of people like my mom, who, like, they just stayed in their own culture.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So she never really got to acclimate into the different cultures.

[A]

She never needed to. Right.

[B]

Never really needed to come to a place.

[A]

And there's a bunch of people, like, you know, if I went to Iran, I'd probably run into of maybe a couple Americans, and I'll just stick with y'. All.

[B]

Yeah, for the most part. Yeah. But the pe. The Persians in LA and. And California in the US they're way more American, if you notice. The ones in la, yeah, they're kind of, like, fobby a little bit, but, like, they're way more, like, Americanized. And I don't know, I feel like they. They kind of become more Western in their values and in their. Just the way they speak, even, like, they. They. They have less of an accent, too.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because they. They were like, oh, I. I want to be American. Like, I want to do America. Like, no, you know, it's like. It's like the dream, right? When you leave any other culture and country in the world, they go. They think America's like, that's like, the pinnacle.

[A]

Yeah. Right. So, yeah, the Canadian dream is not as strong.

[B]

No.

[A]

You know, I mean, it's there. You know, you have a good, quiet life. Life is good. Yeah.

[B]

But a little passive aggressive, but, yeah.

[A]

But the American dream.

[B]

The American dream is something that everyone knows about. Yeah. Like, you know, it's more. More significant.

[A]

I started riding motorcycles, and the guys that taught me to ride motorcycles were all Georgian from Georgia. And I was like, you guys ride Harleys? And he was like, it's my. It's like, this is my dream, like, to come to America and ride a Harley. It's like, the most American. I had a Japanese bike and they're like. And I was like, but I'm American. They're like, yeah, you can ride it because you're American. But I'm not American, so I need America between my legs. You know what I mean? Like, I need this.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so I get that. You come to America and you're like, all right, let me do the most American.

[B]

100%.

[A]

Buy a German car.

[B]

We have a white Volkswagen at home.

[A]

Oh, nice. Why don't.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, it's the engineering.

[A]

It's like all value. It's all value. It's like, what can I spend to get the most value? I don't want it to break down unless you got money. And then you're like, let me get a Mercedes.

[B]

Mercedes.

[A]

But that stereotyping in la, do you think it's valid or just like, yeah, rich people drive Mercedes?

[B]

No, it's very. It's quite valid, actually. And even in Toronto, anyway. Anywhere in the Western world. Again, like. Like I just said, like, we. We've had white cars, white German cars this whole time we've been here. Like, we. We've never gone out of Volkswagen, Audi. We never had a Mercedes. But it's only. Yeah, Volkswagen and Audi. We've had Jetta, Nissan, like, all white to Tiguan. Like, I don't know. I think there's no real definition for it, but I feel like. I don't know. Persians, I don't know why they love their white cars, but I think it just represents more of, like, it just looks sleek.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because Persians care so much about their image, and that's one of their flaws. I think Persians, one of the biggest flaws is they care too much about their image.

[A]

I wanted to ask you about this. Yeah, this one's a little. This one's a little rude.

[B]

Okay. I don't think I'm ugly.

[A]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

Why don't you take care of your eyebrows?

[A]

I'll let the comments inside that. But it is the. The rhinoplasty.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

People talk about this with Persian women. Women. Yeah. Do you feel like that is. Is true?

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I know plenty of women who've. Who've gotten those jobs and Botox and what's called, like, the. The forehead.

[A]

Yeah. Fillers, jaw lifts, all.

[B]

It's a real thing.

[A]

And that's just appearance. Like, they're getting it. Just like, kind of like they want to fit into whatever culture they're in. So if you're in la, you're like, oh, let's get some Botox. But I'm like, is that an LA thing or that?

[B]

No, no, it's a Persian thing. It's a Persian thing that just happens to be in la. I'm sure Persians probably influenced that in a way, because everything. First.

[A]

We invented this. We invented Botox bubble. What do you think the bow means? It's bobotox.

[B]

Bo is short for ball back.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, but it's. It really is a Persian thing. I know plenty of Persian women. I know guys, Persian guys who have plastic surgery their face.

[A]

Brox. Yes, that's fire.

[B]

Brox is hilarious. I'm that bit tox.

[A]

I forget who had the bit. I think it was like, maybe it was Max, but he was like, yeah, you know, like Persian women, they. They might have a bigger nose than, Than what's acceptable in the West.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they'll get rhinoplasties because they say the air will get stuck. So they, they, they get the job because it's for the air.

[B]

It's for the air. No, I, I can't believe he was talking about a bit about, like, how, like, Persian girls, they make excuses to why they get no jobs. I think that, like. Yeah, I forget. But I don't know what you mean. But that's the, that's the main excuse. I can't breathe. I can't. I can't breathe. What the. What do you mean? How you been living this whole time? And, and so, and also the doctors. I mean, this is the truth. They're the best surgeons in the world in, In Iran, the plastic surgeons.

[A]

And this again, goes back to appearance. So, like, even in Iran, it's all appearance.

[B]

Yeah, they just. I don't know what it is. I don't know actually why it started. But like, like I said, this, it's. It ties in with why they care about their image so much. And it's like the endop. Nitpick. Other people in their image, even like their own, like, friends and family who, like, come to the maimonies. They're like, they like. It's a, It's a show. When people get invited to this party, it's a show to be like, all right, let's see, like, what they roll up in. Let's see what they wear. Let's see what the smell they have perfume is a big thing. Thing alone. How well are they groomed? What designer are they wearing? Even the one and that. That's just overall a Persian thing everywhere.

[A]

Not just la, it's for each other.

[B]

It's for each other. It's also. It's like. It's gonna be like. It's a competition against each other, but, like, no one talks about it, though. They talk about after because it's like, it's like very in. In front of their face. Oh, my God. Beautiful. Wow. Oh, my God.

[A]

Very nice.

[B]

Is that Dolce gab? My God, I. I love that one. Very nice. The face, right? But then when they leave, like, oh, what the hell was that?

[A]

Oh, that's so funny.

[B]

Yeah, it's like, ah, yeah. You see his shirt? It was like kind of drink. Why was he wearing that? Why? He didn't do his eyebrow problem.

[A]

Oh, that's so funny.

[B]

It's a real thing.

[A]

Okay, what are the stereotypes? Is there anything that. I mean, I'm sure there's many that we miss, but are there any that. That, like, you, like, Persians claim this?

[B]

Persians.

[A]

We had a. We had a bunch. We had a bunch.

[B]

There was a lot. Yeah, there's a lot. I mean. Yeah. I mean, Persians are very romantic and passionate, and it ties in the Roman. The romance ties in with the them being poetic because. And that's why my theory is why I think Persians have the best dirty talk. Talk to me, Darcy. What kind of talk? I mean, I'm just speaking from my experience. I think when I've been with women or if I have a girlfriend, which. Which I do, I think their dirty talk is seamless. It comes so naturally because, like I said, roomie, like all these, you know, big poets that are from Iran and, like, it's so famous in our culture. And at the. Me too, they do an hour of poetry readings.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

It's a real thing.

[A]

They'll read roomy. They'll read other.

[B]

Other. Other big poets. Yeah. Famous poets. Yeah, yeah. They'll literally sit around in a circle eating pistachios, drinking tea and reading poetry. Poetry for an hour straight.

[A]

And the poetry will be just about like, life.

[B]

Life.

[A]

Like Beauty of Children.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Like, growing up.

[B]

That's it. And being in the desert, like, whatever, trying to fend for your family. Like, there's like. It's very deep, beautiful things.

[A]

Interesting. Very quasi religious in a way. Yeah.

[B]

Well, yeah, I think it stems from that. Probably. I don't know exactly too much about it, but. Yeah, I mean, that's a big. That's a big part of it. Oh, and so.

[A]

So what kind of dirty talk? Does it translate directly? If you translate it, does it sound funny?

[B]

It depends on what you say. I personally don't dirty talk In Farsi. I don't do it in my language. I just dirty talk in English in a Persian way. And not even with an accent. I'm just saying, like, with, like the. With the, you know, bravado and the romance. No passion of a Persian, I'm saying. So it just. It just comes. I don't know. It's just a way. It's a delivery man. You know, it's like you just have to feel it. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's.

[A]

I want to hear it so bad.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know, like an example. Like, it's like, you know what? Okay, maybe I can't give you, like, certain lines because maybe it's just like, too. Too dirty or something, but.

[A]

No, no, no, no. You can be dirty.

[B]

But let me tell you an example first. So me personally, other Persian guys I know, and white girls or Asian girls or brown girls that have told me about their experiences with Persian guys, place they all say the same thing. They're like, he just knows how to talk. He just knows how to say the right thing. And this is true every time I've been with my. My girl or, you know, with women in the past, they always said, like, you know, the main thing. The main compliment I get is like, oh, like, you just. You're so good with words. You just know how to make me feel good. Or like, you know, how to, like, really say things the right way. Like, in a romantic way. It's hot. Hot. It's sexy. It's like, it turns me on. Like, I. You know, I. It makes me wet, you know, And.

[A]

I wonder if there's. Why there's, like, a disorder. Amount of Persian comedians, in my opinion, for, like, how big the diaspora is. Like, there's a lot of, like, very famous Persian comedians. And I wonder if it's kind of.

[B]

It's not a lot.

[A]

You don't think so?

[B]

No, there's only, like, five of us.

[A]

But I feel like, in terms of, like, fame, like, we talk about these guys and, like, they're like household names. Max is doing, like, a ring.

[B]

He's. Yeah, he's, like, crushing it.

[A]

But I wonder if there's a draw to, like, oh, the words. Like, what you're doing is a performance. Like, there's this deep history of poetry kind of like what you're saying.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That, you know, the idea of, like, going to a comedy show and, like, seeing one of our own people talk to us, like, is not strange for the culture because it's okay we all grew up listening to poetry. Like, we'll just listen this guy to a funny poem. You know what I mean? Like, he'll do a funny speech or whatever. We know to stand up. But I wonder if a lot of Persians are like, oh, yeah, this is a guy being funny.

[B]

They don't know stand up traditionally, like we do. Or if you grow up in the Western world, because it's, I feel like, stand up. Still very North American. Like, yeah, more Western. Right. But yeah, they understand funny. Like, the Persians actually grew up like my own parents generation. They. They really knew and watched Charlie Chaplin.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

And they love that type of comedy. They love physical comedy.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

Physical comedy is a big thing in my culture.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And that's why I feel like I'm so physical, too. And like, my style is very goofy, too, on stage. And when I especially.

[A]

Because you don't need language for it, right? Like, come here and like, you're not going to see a comedy in Farsi, maybe at the time. And you see this thing coming in America, it's no words. You're like, oh, it's great.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. And it's. That's why it's easier for people like my mom, who can't really understand comedy jokes. She's like, oh, she. She laughs at, like, Jim Carrey and like, Charlie Chaplin. You know what I'm saying? Like, those physical comedians, which is nice to see because I'm like, that. That's a barrier you're breaking without speaking the language, which is pretty cool.

[A]

Cool. What are the. You were telling me that there's farsy compliments that don't translate.

[B]

Right.

[A]

What are.

[B]

Well, there's farsy compliments and farsy expressions that you say to someone in a positive way to make them feel good, or they're not necessarily compliments. It's just more so, like, here's how much I. I care for you or how much I love you, or just express whatever expressions of love or passion. So I don't know. For example, I was. I've mentioned before. So a big thing in my. In my culture, in my family, too, is when someone's really cute. Cute, whether it's a kid or just like a regular grown adult and they do something cute or very, you know, bubbly and fun, or, you know, they make someone smile. They say, oh, which means, I want to eat your liver. Which is insane to think about, because.

[A]

Then when you translate it, it makes no sense. If you said to someone, it'd be absurd.

[B]

I'm sorry. If you said that to Michaela walking on Second Street?

[A]

Yeah. You will go, she doesn't know who.

[B]

Persians. They're like, oh, this guy just sexually assaulted me.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I am Persian. I. I swear. It's just the expression, but you would.

[A]

Say it so casually. That'd be like, oh, yeah, whatever.

[B]

Yeah. 100. It's a real. It's a normal thing. You say it all the time.

[A]

I wonder. I mean, I feel like even, like, in English, like. Like Western English, like, we would say things like, God, I just want to eat you up. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I guess that's. If you saw a little baby, you'd be like, right, I just want to take a bite.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It'd be like something like that.

[B]

Yeah, it's pret. I guess in that way.

[A]

You guys make it too specific. Well, that.

[B]

That's. Well, yeah, that. But also, that's where the. The. The. The poeticness comes out of, is like, it's more. I feel like we're more creative with it.

[A]

Right, right.

[B]

It's like, not just, like, straight on, like, I'm gonna eat you, or like, yeah, you know, I'm. I want to rip your head off.

[A]

It's like.

[B]

It's more like, I want to rip your head off, but then, like, massage it with oil. You know what I'm saying? Like, it's more like a little bit more poetic and creative. But, yeah, there's a bunch, man. There's like, oh, yeah. Can you pronounce that, by the way?

[A]

God.

[B]

Get them out of here. You got the, too. There you go.

[A]

Oh, hell yeah.

[B]

Say that. Say that. Say that to your wife. She'll be like, oh, my God. She's probably not in person, but obviously.

[A]

But she'll know what I mean.

[B]

She'll know what you mean.

[A]

I do.

[B]

What Big act out if you just, like, do with your head. Oh, my God, you're precious. There's so many good ones, man. Like, oh, it's like. Which means. Okay, so the. The. The meaning of it is, thank you very, very much. But the literal translation is, may your hands not hurt. So it's like, you know, I like that. It's very expressive in that. It's very, like, intense in a way.

[A]

And when would you say that? Like, what.

[B]

It's like when someone covers a bill for you, or like, they, like, did something they went out of their way for to do something for you when they didn't have to.

[A]

I like that.

[B]

It's not just like, thank you, or like, thanks for holding the Door. It's like. It's like they did something intentionally that they didn't have to do.

[A]

May your hands not hurt.

[B]

Your hands not hurt. It's like, it's. Yeah, it's like you did. You did so much for me. Like, I want you to feel good about your. You not being in pain. Pain.

[A]

What about profanity? Are there insults that just like, oh, amazing.

[B]

My. My mom's the goat at it. Okay, like, so first of all, there's different subsets of. Of insults. There's, like, a hierarchy of it. There's ones that are more fun and, like, goofy, that are just really funny that I've gotten called my whole life from my mom. And it's pretty much any animal name game. My mom, like, in different scenarios, too. So, like, I don't know. For example, like, I'm opening the fridge when there's our. When I. When I know there's already food on the table, my mom will get pissed and be like, why are you opening the fridge? Like, I'll say the first in a second, but. So why are you opening the fridge? Like, what are you, like, a donkey? Like, whatever. So that's the basic one. So she'll be like. Like, are you an idiot? Like, there's food right there. Or like, if I'm eating a snack and I'm crunching too loud and she's like, what are you. Why are you chewing like a llama? Like, you know, I'm saying, like, she says animal insults.

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

There's a lot of that.

[A]

You're playing too crazy. If you have, like, too much energy, what would she say?

[B]

Oh, so she goes like. So it's like. She'll just say, like, missed Mr. DV. So div is like, like an. Like a monster. Like a. You're just an animal. You're like.

[A]

You can't even be specific. You act like every animal.

[B]

You're just an animal, dude.

[A]

Oh, this is so fun.

[B]

And then, like, there's so many. There's like, oh. Like, if. If you're just standing there aimlessly and, like, you're just, like, staring at the wall or something like that. Or, like, you're just staring off in the distance and she. My mom, walking, and she would catch me, like, just aimlessly. Blank star. There she be like. Which means, like, why are you sitting like a goat? Like, you're just like a goat. You're just like a. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Like, you're just brainless just standing there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like. Like, you guys Love school and work so much. You're like, why are you not doing anything? Go do something.

[B]

Go do something. Exactly. Yeah.

[A]

So, okay, what. What if it went up. Up the ladder?

[B]

Oh, so now it's like. It's like bad words where you shouldn't say any of them and they're bad.

[A]

Demonetized in Tehran. We're gonna be pissed.

[B]

The Islamic room, this Mark guy, he said our language, very bad. Never allowed to come. He's the reason why there's regime.

[A]

What does this mean? That.

[B]

Which means, like, so bad. It's like, so. It's not even, like, it's like, the hunt of your grandmother.

[A]

You'd have to be really pissed. You'd have to be so bad. You'd have to be pissed off.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Is this used in a directive way.

[B]

Like, Like, Yeah, it's like. Yeah, it's when people argue in Farsy. It never happens, like, within the family. That's a very, like, outside of the family thing. Like, you would never use that in your family.

[A]

That'd be a serious.

[B]

That's like. Like, if. It would be, like, petrified if I ever said that in my house to my parents.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or even around them, to be honest. But you. You can say to, like, other random Persians if they're with you.

[A]

But is that fighting? That's fighting.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, it's, like, verbal.

[A]

You wouldn't say it as a little joke.

[B]

You kind of. Good. That's the thing, too, is with these insults, it's like. It's kind of like, in English in a way where you're like. It's got. Yeah. You, like, you know, whatever. Like, you piece of. Piece of. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Like.

[B]

But it's a little bit more intense, I think. Like, you could use it as an insult in a real way or in a joking way. But, yeah, like, that one's, like, really bad. There's a couple of really good ones. Like. Oh, You said that it means, like, my. In your mouth.

[A]

Hell, yeah. It's like.

[B]

Yeah. Be sure is like, idiot. Like, in a demeaning way.

[A]

Damn.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That mess. Yeah. You gotta fight.

[B]

Yeah. It's fighting words, man.

[A]

I wonder if the way the language is set up because, like, I hear comedians kind of as a joke, like, mother. Mother. But is that. Oh. Is the way the language set up, like. Oh, that's how you would translate into English, you would say. Yeah, because in Farsi, you would say the mom part first.

[B]

And the bridge, it's always reversed, so. Because that's also How Farsi's written is from right to left. It's not left to right. Like English. Right. I think Arabic's obviously like that too. Yeah, but, but yeah, so, so because it's also read from right, right to left. That's also how you translate it too. It's never like, like I don't like, it's like the of mother. Like it's like it's always completely backwards.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Pretty interesting. Yeah.

[A]

What are the, what are the cultures that you feel like are similar to Persians?

[B]

Oh man.

[A]

Cuz you're so steeped in so many cultures. Like you're around them all the time.

[B]

All the time. Toronto, baby. Six six, six, six, six.

[A]

So you Turkish.

[B]

Turkish is pretty close in terms of like, not the language but like the, the family aspect, the, the actual, you know, the food culture, the, the hospitality.

[A]

What do you know about Turks? Do you know any funny, any funny Turkish things?

[B]

Turkish? Well, obviously, you know, like the classic, you know, go to Turkey, get your hair done, your teeth, your face, whatever. They love that.

[A]

They're good. They're giving the Persians a run for the money.

[B]

Yeah, they are. Yeah, they're, they're neck and neck.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Head in.

[A]

I think the regime really helped her. The curve regime now. Because now you're like, I'm not going over there.

[B]

That's true. Honestly, a lot of, even in a lot of Iranians, they've, they fled to, to, to Turkey and like they, they, they're, it's right across the border and.

[A]

They'Re the ones doing the hair.

[B]

See now where's you guys as influence.

[A]

Number of one number.

[B]

But even tourists, man, even like anyone around the world, they're like, ah, well, Iran's a little dangerous. Let's just go to Turkey. It's like people's people say like if you want the Iranian experience outside of Iran, Iran, you either go to Turkey or you go to Dubai. Those are the closest you're gonna get to Iran.

[A]

Have you done shows in Turkey?

[B]

I've never been to the Middle East. I would love to go all these places obviously. But I think, and I think I'd do well because I have a lot of followers there.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But I just can't go. I mean, I can Turkey, right? Yeah. But like it's just, I don't know, it's just tough.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know, it's, it's a long flight.

[A]

I mean it's not Istanbul. Come on. I gotta eat.

[B]

I gotta eat. Like Persian 2.0.

[A]

Like what is the point even? Come on. It's not like your mom made, you know.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. No, I gotta bring my mom with me. She's gonna get the ingredients herself, cook it while I'm in Turkey.

[A]

Yeah, it's a whole thing.

[B]

Come on. It's expensive. It's expensive. Yeah. It's time consuming, but yeah. So in Dubai, there's a lot of Iranians there because it's also like. It's right. Right across the. The Gulf is. Is Iran. So a lot of them come there and they. The best Persian food. Food is in Dubai, from what I've heard.

[A]

Damn, I should have tried it. I was just there.

[B]

Yeah, you should have.

[A]

Next time.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

I.

[B]

That I know. Okay. But yeah, for Turkish people. I don't really know as many stereotypes about Turkish people because I didn't really grow up around Turkish people.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I grew up way more around, like, Greeks, Italians, Tamils.

[A]

Yo, what do you know about Indians?

[B]

Sri Lankans?

[A]

What do you know about this Greek right here, Dude?

[B]

Greeks.

[A]

This. This Greek.

[B]

Malaka.

[A]

What the hell? What are you gonna say about me? He said you're a really nice guy. Oh, really funny comedian. I appreciate that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Stop laughing. He just asked me if I fared on him technically.

[B]

Sometimes I do, technically speaking.

[A]

That's so funny. How similar Greeks and Persia.

[B]

Greeks and Persians are very similar. Similar, would you say? Would you agree?

[A]

I agree, bro.

[B]

Okay. From first of all, from the start, no one ever thinks I'm Persian. They always think I'm Greek just by looking at me, which I feel like, you know, you.

[A]

You could.

[B]

If you didn't know me, you'd probably be like, oh, this guy's Greek.

[A]

Yeah, you've got the accent.

[B]

Well, not even that. Even without talking. Like, I probably look Greek.

[A]

You gotta look about you. You look good.

[B]

That's what it is.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Hell yeah. Yeah, Sexy mix. I mean, my hair is not thinning, so I can't be too Greek.

[A]

Which we were saying that before. It is the ultimate to the Greeks that they lose their hair at 22 and the only place you can get it fixed is in Turkey. I mean, it's just like a sore in the side. I mean, it's so sad.

[B]

Stick it to them.

[A]

I mean, it's. It's awful. I mean, just give it a rest, right? Do you need everything?

[B]

Seriously?

[A]

Also cr. Kind of share the story. Croesus went to Greece and was very popular with the women. Oh, yeah. Because he looks like Greek. He looks like a Greek superstar. Can you pull this guy?

[B]

A Greek superstar? Oh, wait, is it a. I was like.

[A]

There's no way. I was like Croesus. What? What's superstar do you look like? Apparently he's like one of the biggest artists in Greece.

[B]

Wait, I think I know who you're talking about.

[A]

The guy that wears like a Scully. You don't even know his name. Christos. Come on, dude. Oh, Stellos, you knew his name before you told it to me. And I looked it up and I couldn't believe how similar you guys look. The audience is going to love this, by the way. They've been want a face reveal on Christos for a while. Oh, really? This is going to be the best case scenario.

[B]

Oh, now you have to show his face?

[A]

No, no, I'm just gonna show this guy. Be like. Just basically the same thing.

[B]

Oh, right, okay.

[A]

And they'll associate him with the superstar for it.

[B]

Oh, that's perfect.

[A]

That's kind of ideal, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Are you pulling it up?

[B]

He's just texting his broad.

[A]

Yeah, no, we need to see it. We need to see. We can also keep going if you want to pull it up in a sec. You got it. Oh, I knew you guys.

[B]

He's a goat man.

[A]

You Greek. Christos the goat. Don't call him a goat. What the dude. That's it.

[B]

He eats lamb.

[A]

So it's insulting your culture.

[B]

Maybe his lap.

[A]

He's not sitting around aimlessly. Come on. He's. He's locked in. Okay, what's his name?

[B]

Scully.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, Vasilis. Oh, no. Constantinos. Mariaki.

[A]

What? Go to Images. I wonder if images.

[B]

It'll pull up.

[A]

Oh, I thought you had a crisis. You got me. You got me. He's like a new guy. I feel like anyone you pull up is gonna be old. Go to Just.

[B]

Just. Is it. I wish you could take a picture of yourself upload and be like, who's someone that looks like me? That's famous.

[A]

They must be able to.

[B]

There must be something.

[A]

AI has got to be on.

[B]

There's gotta be.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

Oh, this guy an Ion.

[A]

Yeah. Honda. Google. Go to Google Images app. Go to Google Images and get Appon up on the screen immediately. Immediately. Because Christos was getting play. Just doing a tribute act.

[B]

Serious?

[A]

Yes, bro. He told me when he came back, he was swimming in it.

[B]

Dude, no way. You were telling people you're upon. Look.

[A]

Come on. That's Christos. I didn't tell them that. I wasn't.

[B]

Maybe a little bit.

[A]

Get them bald. Get him without the. Get him without the Hat? Because without the hat, no.

[B]

Wow. But I mean, that's pretty much like ball. Like you can't tell. Like, when I saw you wearing a cab, I didn't think you were. That's more like me.

[A]

Two different epons, bro.

[B]

Yeah, I could see it. I can see it. It's the same like, facial structure. The beard too, the nose.

[A]

He's got his name on his chest.

[B]

Yeah, he also has a pon on.

[A]

His chest because he's gay. He's fully leaning in, dude. If it helps him get a finger.

[B]

In there, that's all he needs. That's all you need, buddy.

[A]

Let's go, Christo.

[B]

Hey, it even says Fagari.

[A]

Okay, so what do you. What's up with Greeks though? You grew up around Greeks?

[B]

Yeah, well, there's also the. One of the big communities of. Of Greeks outside of Greece in Toronto. There's a whole place called the Danforth. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm sure you in Toronto.

[A]

I didn't realize it was Greek.

[B]

Yeah, it's all Greek.

[A]

What makes Greeks funny to you?

[B]

I love the. The also the. The okay. The look wise. We look very alike. I think the family aspect is very similar. A lot of family members. I don't know, like the. The same types of. Of foods, you know, the same kind of like ingredients. You know, they have the meat with the rice with the salads. It's all fresh, citrusy, you know.

[A]

They also think they invented everything.

[B]

They also think they invented everything. So we're similar in that way.

[A]

Yeah. And Chris, is there anything funny to. To Greeks to you? Do you think you guys do anything you find particularly funny that's specifically Greek, Like religious? W. Oh, oh, yeah. That's one thing you guys do.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

They're religious. Yeah, that really religious.

[A]

Yeah. That's an interesting thing. Like all the Persians I meet in America are kind of like, nah.

[B]

Well, obviously because they. They're so oppressed from the regime over the.

[A]

That they just reject completely. Or are they casually like, you know, we love Allah, but it's not like no one.

[B]

I don't know any Persian Muslim Muslims really? I actually met one for the first time recently, but I was like, oh, this is an anomaly.

[A]

Interesting. Are they any religion? No, there's not really.

[B]

No, Just agnostic.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah, like my dad's against religion.

[A]

Interesting. Yeah, because he saw.

[B]

Well, yeah, because he saw what the happened. They got oppressed over the years. The revolution happened, man. They went from. Yeah, the Zoroastrians too. They're like, there are Zoroastrians, actually. There's a lot of Zoroastrians in India. The. The Parsons.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Which is like, Indian, Persian. That's probably the most religious you'll find in Persians. And then Jews, obviously, Persian Jews.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But in terms of, like, Islam, like, no. Like, since especially after the revolution happened, like my dad, other people like him, they saw what they were doing and they're like, I don't. I'm not. This is. This isn't me.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

I don't want to live like this.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because no one wants to wear hijabs.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And they're not. Right now in Iran, the most. This has been the most liberated Persian women have been. Because they're. They're. If you walk around any of the cities, they're not even wearing hijab properly.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah. I don't know if you remember what happened a few years ago with Masamini.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

But, like, they. They.

[A]

She got killed. Yeah.

[B]

They killed her because she. Her hijab was like, halfway her head, which is so. And then, like, the people protested and protested and they got really close to, like, really taking down the government, but they're just too powerful still. And, you know, they couldn't really do anything about it. But then. So now the. Slowly but surely the. The. The women have been just walking around, almost no hijab, like, barely wearing it. Like, it's just super loose. So it's like, slowly but surely, because they've given so much trouble and. And it's. They've become so annoying to the government. They're kind of like. They're like, all right. Like, let them do whatever they want. Right. So it takes time, you know, Like, I feel like. Like we were talking about. Or we were talking about empires.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Earlier on, it's like, they'll rise and they'll fall. Like, same with governments. Like, they. At some point, the people just. It's up to the people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it's. It's been shown over the years. Right. It's possible. And so I think in due time it will happen in this generation, in this lifetime. I'm hopeful. But anyway, I don't know.

[A]

Yeah. It's interesting how that happens. Like, even being in. In Saudi Arabia, because we just got back from Saudi. They, like, they used to have a religious place, police. Like, when you would walk around and, like, if your hair was showing as a woman or like, if your hair was even too long as a man, like, you know, they. They would handle it. They would do something. They would either, you know, define You. They would hit you with a stick, be like, go back inside, cover up. Da, da. If your shorts are too short, like, just like, modesty rules.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then that's basically gone.

[B]

That's crazy. The.

[A]

The ha is what they call them.

[B]

Haya.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

It's basically just like. I think it's like an acronym for the religious police, or like. Like a shortened version. And they would just go around. Like, I even had a friend here that told me, like, he went to college here, and he's just my buddy from school, but he was like. I knew a guy who went out. He was like, I'm just gonna run to the store. This is like, 25 years ago, maybe. And he went to the store with, like, an Afro and then came back with his head shaved. And he's like, yeah, dude, they shaved my head. And it was like, damn. And it was like, yeah. They just, like, grabbed him. They're like, yeah, you can't have hair like this.

[B]

Just like that.

[A]

Then came back two hours later, shaved head, and it was like, damn, that's of kind gone.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

But. And so now everyone's like, dude, this is awesome. Like, they love what's happening down the country. And they're like, yeah, we can. Women can drive. Like, you know, I mean, like, there's comic shows, so it's that kind of stuff where it's like, you know, it takes time. I know, but it is possible. And even in Iran, it seems similar, where it's like, for years, like, post 79, it was like, lockdown, sharia, everyone in the cob. And then now it's like, okay, you can wear a hijab, not in a cub. And then it's like, you don't have to wear the hijab completely wearing a bay or whatever. Yeah. And then it just kind of slowly, like, people relax. And unfortunately, it seems like it happens from, like, bad events.

[B]

It's always like that.

[A]

One of the. One of the examples they gave, I think, in Saudi was like, is like, in the early 2000s, there was, like, a fire, and a bunch of women were dying in this fire. And the religious police stopped the authorities from going in to save them because they were like, they're not covered.

[B]

Jesus.

[A]

And then this caused a massive uproar where people were like, this is crazy. We got like, people are dying because of these rules. Like, this is a absurd. And it was unfortunately, because of that event that then people started to be like, all right, we gotta change. We gotta change what's going on. Because this is actively hurting us.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like, these rules are supposed to be for us, and now they're just. People are dying. And so it's unfortunately, stuff like that. And like, this woman in Iran, I.

[B]

Forgot her name, Masa Amini.

[A]

Like, what happened to her was obviously terrible, but, like, from that, it seems like people have kind of been like, okay, this has gone too far.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is that more or less the sentiment in. From people you talk to in Iran?

[B]

100. Yeah, that, that. That's been the ongoing discussion for years now. A couple years. Years now. Because. Well, it's been happening or like, throughout the time, obviously. But then, like, this was like the biggest, most viral thing that came out on social media. And that's the power of social media, obviously, because now the whole world was. Was starting to become aware of it.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And the. The government started to feel it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

For the first time. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I'm sure they're feeling Western pressure. They're like, you can't just be killing women for showing their hair. Like, we're not going to trade with you. We're not going to.

[B]

Exactly. And that's what happened, man. So many people sanctioned Iran.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, they're like, the dollar means nothing right now.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's crazy.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

Yeah. So it's like, well, what's the point of this? Because there it's either you're really the. The top, the rich, or you're pretty much poor. There's no in between.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And it's like. And they all have all the power. It's just them, whatever they say goes.

[A]

And the closer you are to the regime, probably the better.

[B]

The better. Yeah, exactly. And then this crazy, because I remember during the. During this whole, like, massimini protest, that era, like, it was like, really intense times. Funny enough, my first ever tour started the next day in Canada. It was like the first time I was going on the road and I announced the whole tour and. And, man, I was getting flack for that.

[A]

Really. Oh, it's crazy because in this time.

[B]

I'm doing comedy when it's like, my people, but I'm not. You know, there's a whole thing by like, like, it was pretty wild time, to be honest. Like, people were, like, sending videos, like, death threats, like, calling my mom a.

[A]

Like.

[B]

And like, whoa, that's crazy.

[A]

That's wild.

[B]

Yeah, bro.

[A]

It's so crazy because this is something so outside of Michael. Like, I remember seeing this being like, oh, that's crazy.

[B]

Right. But then it really was a big part of my life. Yeah, cuz I'm so in that culture.

[A]

I can imagine like you know, a black musician dropping like an album the day like George Floyd died, it'd be like well maybe. Yeah, this is be the roll out is going to be a little different. Exactly.

[B]

I know. And so many people. Actually I remember there were people messaging me like oh, how could. Okay, well cuz the first few days when it happened, when we heard about the news that they killed her, I didn't even know what was going on. I was just like, I was, I was still posting content and then like slowly but surely there a few comments like yo, why are you posting? This isn't funny. This is not a time to laugh. This isn't a good time to laugh. Blah blah, blah, blah. Like you should be ashamed of yourself. You're not even Persian. All this stuff, it started to happen. I was like, what the going on? And then when we saw the news, we're like, okay, like let's just go quiet at least for a few days just to like let it settle. And then when we were quiet now all the DMs started flooding and like how could you not say anything? You're disgraced to our culture. You're not even Persian. Calls you a Persian. You're disgrace. You're a piece of like I'm going to unfollow you. I've been following you for years. I lost respect like right off the bat.

[A]

Bat.

[B]

I didn't have time. Time to breathe or make a decision. And it's not that easy because it's like, well I. The like the thing with platforms too is like I'm sure you guys know all about it too with like, I don't know. I didn't get here by posting political stuff. Yeah. I got here because of my comedy.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So it's like if you want to talk about the news m. The news should be reporting this. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, but when you're so tight with an in group, it's like, well you have to say something.

[B]

Yeah, but the. It's like it's iffy because it's like, well what do you say? How do you. It's like if you don't say it, they're going to come after you. If you do say something, they still come after.

[A]

Right. If you don't say in the right.

[B]

Way, the right way, it's too late. Someone said, oh, it's too late. I did it. I posted thing like I don't know, three days after everyone else was saying oh, it's too late. You should have done it earlier. I'm like, bro, like, well, you just can't win.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I don't know how I got.

[A]

There, but yeah, it's a tricky thing. It's a tricky thing. I remember even, like. I mean, this happens all the time, like, with like, specific in groups. It's a weird thing as like a white dude in America because, like, there's no in groups group. You know what I mean?

[B]

There's incest, but.

[A]

But that's. But y' all marry your cousins also. Stop.

[B]

Pretty Arab. Stop it.

[A]

That's what the south is. Inshah, man, I'm have. Yeah, I got a hot gun.

[B]

Come on, man.

[A]

But like, yeah, as a white guy, I don't have that feeling of like, oh, man, I have to, like, stand up for my people. You know what I mean? I feel a little bit like with like, Catholic stuff, cuz, like, I'm Catholic, so, like, if anytime people, like, talk to me about Catholics, I'm like, come on. But like, I'm also not going to, like, fight about it because it's not like that stuff serious. You know what I mean? In comparison to like a diaspora out of a country, because, like, these people live every single day as Persian, you know? I mean, like, you can't turn, but, like, you know, if you're Catholic, it's like, yeah, you know, you go to Mass, but it's not. Like for some people, it's their core identity, but, like, for most it's not. They're not going to, like, go to war over it, you know?

[B]

Yeah. Also, you can be like, yeah, white people, man. Let's go. Right? Everyone's gonna like, you supremacist. You know, this is bigotry.

[A]

I do a joke about this, but, like, like, the only people in America that are going to have pride are gays, you know, I mean, no one else can have pride.

[B]

I know.

[A]

You know, I mean, you'll be like, dude, you know, Persian pride. Yeah. Let's just, you know, get to the airport.

[B]

Wait, we know you're gay.

[A]

Yeah. They're the only ones that got it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. I have. I have my reasons, but. What's up, guys? We're gonna take a break really quick because you need help pitching your tent. Yes. And that's what we do over here at camp. Maybe you're, I don't know, in line waiting for a concert somewhere, and you just need something to lean on, May. Who knows? Maybe you just need help pleasing the special man or woman in your life. And that's why I want to talk to you guys about BlueChew. BlueChew is the ultimate service to get you discreet supplements right to your home. And what do these supplements do? They give you that leg, that third leg, the important one. And bluechew is going to help you lay it down, okay? It's an amazing service that's coming straight to your door. And for the listeners of this program, they are going to get their first month of BlueChew for free. All you need to use is the promo code Ganon, G A G N O N. And you'll have them gagging. You know I'm talking about. You know, I'm seeing what I'm saying, my boy. So go to bluechew.com and try the promo code Gagnon, G A G, N O N. And you're gonna get your first month free. All you got to do is pay $5 for shipping. That's like a coffee. Okay? So to skip your morning cold brew and instead dead, get that hard brew for an entire month. Yes, that [e-mail] use the promo code Gagnon and start laying it down like they deserve.

[B]

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[A]

Bronx and his dad Ryan. Real United Airlines customers. We were returning home and one of.

[B]

The flight attendants asked Bronx if he wanted to see the flight deck.

[A]

And we came. Kathy and Andrew. I got to sit in the driver's seat. I grew up in an aviation family, and seeing Bronx kind of reminded me of myself when I was that age. That's Andrew, a real United pilot. These small interactions can shape a kid's future. It felt like I was the captain.

[B]

Allowing my son to see the flight.

[A]

Deck will stick with us forever. That's how good leads the way. Yeah, I also, I want to know, how do you know about Mexicans? Are there Mexicans in Toronto like that?

[B]

There's actually not. There's not that many Mexicans. The most amount of Latinos that are in Canada are Colombians, Venezuelans, and Peruvians. Those are the Latinos.

[A]

Can you grab Jaime. Because we gotta. We gotta grill Jaime on some. On some questions.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Because it's funny because I travel a lot to do comedy, too, and I've noticed that, like, Mexicans in. In the US Are just the Indians of Canada. That's exactly what the difference. And neither place has that type of people.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

In America, there's not that many Indians. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, obviously, if you're in Jersey, if you're in New York, you're gonna meet a bunch. But like.

[B]

But like, outside, if you're in Texas, Texas, there's five. And they're not supposed to be there. They just got off the wrong stuff. And then, like, California, there's not really any. Maybe some in some of, like, the upper, like, northern. Like, East. East Coast.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Boston, maybe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

New York. Right. But they're all. All in Canada right now. It's a big thing over there. It's Right. People are up in arms about it. Yes.

[A]

You go to. You go to Brahmaladesh.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And Brampton's a spot.

[B]

Brampton is. Bram Ladesh is crazy. Yeah, it's. And it's not. Honestly now. It's. Other parts of Canada are becoming, like, Brampton.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So.

[A]

But you guys have scary Indians up there, too. In America, the Indians we got, they go to school, they win spelling bees. You know, I mean, like, they're very, like, nice, nerdy. Nerdy Indians.

[B]

I know. Know.

[A]

But then you guys have some Punjabis up there.

[B]

Hey, man, they don't around.

[A]

And those are scary. Like, there's. I didn't know there's Punjabi gangs.

[B]

Oh, yeah, there's. Yeah, they're. And they're like.

[A]

They're scary.

[B]

They're together.

[A]

This is a historical culture. Obviously not all Punjabis.

[B]

I'm being facetious, but actually great people, too.

[A]

It's a history of like. Like, these are warriors. You know what I mean? Like, like, they. These people. These people, like, they fought. They will. So now they're in Canada and they're like, all right, let's start a gang. Know, make some money. Money. And just like, how every gang starts. You know what I mean? But these just happen to be Punjabi, which in America doesn't exist. No, like, the idea of, like, a Punjabi gang is like, no, Indians are like.

[B]

What is that?

[A]

It's like a math club. Oh, you're a gang.

[B]

Yeah. You little math gang.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But then we'll have, you know, Mexican gangs.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. That's the whole Ms. 13, like all.

[A]

And y' all don't Y' all don't have that?

[B]

No, no, no, we don't have nothing like that. No.

[A]

Because you guys have the wall. Yeah, America.

[B]

Exactly. Well, there's. There's a lot of, like. There's a lot of gangs, but it's within, like, the. The Italians and I guess not really, like, mafia. I guess they're kind of mafia. Like, not like in. In the States, though, with Italians, but. But there's the. The Punjabi gangs.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then there are like, the.

[A]

The.

[B]

Like the Jamaican. Like.

[A]

Yeah, more.

[B]

More that. Those kind of gangs, too, which is just Toronto crazy.

[A]

I think we were even talking about this when I was in Toronto. Like, the Toronto accent changed in my generation.

[B]

Right. Well, like, what was it when you first heard it, though?

[A]

Oh, yeah, bud.

[B]

Oh, so that's like. That's Canadian or.

[A]

But like.

[B]

But like, it's also American.

[A]

It's like if you went to Toronto in the 90s.

[B]

Oh, yeah, bud.

[A]

We go to Timmy's.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And yeah, play some poc. And you know, that's it. But now it's like, oh, do a guy from Toronto, and he'd be like, it's like, two, fam. Like, yo, this guy's a Gerber, fam.

[B]

Yo, mans are out here. You know what I mean? Like, yo, if you're not grabbing your bands, fam, like, you're done for the year still. Like, yo, mom. Like, if you're not copping stocks, you're done. You. I mean, we're out here, doggy. And that's just Connor in grade nine. It's like, why are you talking like that?

[A]

It's just amazing.

[B]

Yeah, we have a shift at Uniqlo. Can we not talk like this?

[A]

Some parent is like, oh, no, my kids have a Canadian accent. They start speaking Jamaican patois and they're like, whoa, I wish he was just like, a dumb, like, you know, Zen and hockey player.

[B]

Be a hockey player. At least no white dudes. It's. He's gone too far. White girls talking like Jamaicans. It's insane.

[A]

You leave your mom's in the hood, fam. I'm sick to my stomach. I mean, that girl.

[B]

Hey. Hey, Bradley, dinner's ready. Yo, fam, like, you're. You're Beacon Moms, yo. You're Beacon M m rocking Xbox. You're talking too much. Still. You're.

[A]

Relax.

[B]

Like, yo, wal guy eats Mac and cheese for dinner, and he's saying, wahi. It's like, come on, man, that's so wild.

[A]

Okay, we'll get to Jamaicans and Then. And then Indians, of course. But I want to ask you about Mexicans. You know, about the chos, bro. But like, oh, you can even do the whistle. Yo hi m. Do you have the whistle?

[B]

I do not.

[A]

That. That's crazy, bro.

[B]

What do you mean you don't have the whistle?

[A]

The. The whistle. The whistle is like my. One of my fit cuz I had so many Mexican coaches and they would.

[B]

Just be like, oh, so good.

[A]

Oh, my. It's like.

[B]

Well, I do the Cuban one whistle. It's different.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

The Cuban whistle. Like, hey, but Mexican's like, I can't even do it.

[A]

It's like, bro, the way you are running, bro. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's just like, it's.

[B]

It's seamless.

[A]

Look at us. Come on. But like, Mexicans are. Are very funny to me. They have very stereotypes.

[B]

I.

[A]

When we in Texas, I was doing a bunch of Mexican jokes, and the one that I find so funny is that, like, you'll see on side of the road, 10 Mexicans playing soccer.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

They've never. Three of them look like they've never played before. And then five of them are like, nasty. Like, they're like, so good. Really? And then there's just like a keeper that's like drinking modelos and that's just their death. Four of them were wearing jeans.

[B]

Oh, me. Every time.

[A]

Why? But, dude, it's like the Indians in.

[B]

The beach wearing jeans.

[A]

What is.

[B]

Mexicans wear jeans playing soccer.

[A]

Why do y' all wear jeans when you play soccer? I to know, like, do you have any theory as to why this happens?

[B]

I think it's because we got to.

[A]

Go to work after. That's a good point. Or like, you go to the gym Every. Every time I see Mexican do the gym, he'll be wearing, like, khaki shorts, maybe jeans, and then he'll have a weight like a weight belt. And then he's wearing fingerless gloves and then he's going to the gym and then walking on the treadmill. He's funny. He's on the treadmill or just like doing some other that. The gloves were never a part of it. No, but it was like, oh, I go to the gym, you know, I, you know, put on my gloves.

[B]

There's a picture. A picture of a Mexican person playing soccer on the side of the road and he scores a goal. He's like.

[A]

That's what the go is, bro. Go to the job site.

[B]

To the job site. I working.

[A]

Bro. I wish I had a thicker Mexican accent. He Told me, cuz Jaime is from McAllen, Texas. Like right on the borders is a border town.

[B]

Yeah, he's a border Mexican.

[A]

For real.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And his brother, Jesus.

[B]

Brother.

[A]

His. His brother, you've been talking to him is Romano.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

He has a thick, like, South Texas Mexican accent.

[B]

Oh, what is that?

[A]

Like it. It's kind of like. I mean, it seems like kind of like a standard Mexican, but almost like cholo a little.

[B]

Okay, so it's like, am I, Am.

[A]

I off on this? Hi.

[B]

It's kind of like this, homes. Like you're going to talk like that. A 956 accident.

[A]

Oh, 956.

[B]

What's 956?

[A]

Valley. That's everything south of San Antonio.

[B]

Oh, okay, so like El Paso. No, no, no. Just like near the Gulf of America.

[A]

To Corpus.

[B]

Is it America or.

[A]

Yeah, it's a Gulf of America. Yeah.

[B]

Did it actually change that?

[A]

I mean, Trump changed it, but jeez, that's wild. Yeah, dude. Gulf of America. America. Yeah, but dude, it's just like there's. His brother will just be like, yo, bro. Like, I'm. I'm like trying to post this video, bro. Like. Like, yo, for real. Like, yo, you, yo, before I post it, can I tell you a joke, bro? Like, you should do a joke about like Jeff Bezos or no, do one about like Hunter Biden, bro. Like, that is like that. Like, yo, Hunter Biden, like, he's like doing crack on the highway, bro. Like, this guy is so funny, bro. Do that and I'll be like, I'm not gonna do that. I don't really know what. But how did. What's the joke? He's like, bro, just talk about it. Just.

[B]

Damn, man.

[A]

Bro. And then I meet Jaime, and Jaime is like, you know, Stanford educated, very proper.

[B]

But he told me college in Oxford.

[A]

Yeah, he. He told me he used to talk like that and.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes, bro.

[B]

Why is Mexican? Just sounds like Toronto mans.

[A]

Everyone.

[B]

You know, every time I've done a Toronto man video, everyone's like, yo, why do you sound Mexican, bro?

[A]

Really?

[B]

Swear to God, it's like, yo, yo. Like, what are you saying?

[A]

Yo.

[B]

Like, yo, you're different.

[A]

Eh, yo, that's a good point. If you just put an A on it, it' is also in Toronto.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Oh, that's so funny.

[B]

Yo. Like, yo, you're different. Eh, Yo. Yo, like, yo, See? So what up, yo?

[A]

So like, what up?

[B]

H. Like, yo.

[A]

Canadian is like the South Texas.

[B]

Ah, yeah.

[A]

Wait, how. How would you use that when, when a chola girl, you know, laughs or says anything in high school, he'll hit you with that.

[B]

Oh, you can see his face, bro.

[A]

Imagine, bro.

[B]

I would be so annoyed. Well, you know what, that's funny because Persians do the same thing.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah, like they say, like, ah, man. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, that's so funny.

[B]

What, what, what, what, what nationality or, or culture do you identify. Identify with the most?

[A]

I mean, American, unfortunately. Like, American. I weirdly have like a lot of Floridian people pride. Like I stand. But with Florida, like, people talk about Florida all the time. Like, shut up, dude.

[B]

What's, what's Florida Floridian pride?

[A]

I mean, to me, like, being a true Floridian is like, you are wearing a bathing suit all the time. It's nice at all times. You're never not wearing a bathing suit. And it's like board shorts and they go down to like below your. Or, yeah, below your knee. And you're wearing sandals. And you might wear your reef sandals that have the bottle open underneath, underneath. And then you probably have like some type of truck, something that can get out of the sand and then. But like, you're not like a cowboy, you know what I mean? Like, you're like, you're kind of like a surfer almost. But you're in your truck because it's better for the beach. And you have like a salt life sticker on the back and you go to Publix and you got pub subs. And then. Oh, it's the greatest. And then like, you know, maybe you smoke a little weed here and there, you know what I mean? But like, you're pretty chill, you're pretty tan and you're not really concerned with anything that's going on. You, you're like low key, like a hippie. But you also have gun.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Like you'll be like, dude, like just, you know, Florida, man. But also like, you are strapped, right? You have a gun at your house. But Florida's also interesting cuz it's three countries in one state. How so? Because like North Florida, like where I'm from, Orlando is not the south. No, but if you go farther north, you go south, you know what I mean? You go to Pensacola, you go to like Destin even you're going into the city south. Oh. You know what I mean?

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

So like you go to like the Panhandle, Tallahassee even. You're in the deep South. You got, you know, good old boys, they got their trucks, they like to hunt, they got Their dogs, really?

[B]

That's exactly how they talk.

[A]

Come on, now. Yeah, these are. These are good old country boys.

[B]

Tallahassee, Florida.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, obviously, it's like the capital, so you got, you know, like, Diplomats and, you know, the King or whatever. But, like, if you're living around Tallahassee. Yeah. No, you'll be. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. And, like, you don't mess with the college kids.

[B]

Like, they.

[A]

They got their own thing going on over in, you know, go Knolls, but, like. Yeah, these are like Southern. Southern gentlemen. You know what I mean? And they go to Mobile, you know, I mean, they go over to the beach.

[B]

Alabama.

[A]

Yeah, they go over the beach over there. You know, if you're on, like, the. The Flo Jo line, you know. I mean. Yeah, if you're on Florida. Yeah. If you're. If you're near there, that's what. Yeah. You know, you pop in. You. You've heard of Florida, Florida, Georgia Line. Yeah, they're awesome. By the way, there's Baby you.

[B]

A song.

[A]

You make me want to roll my windows down and cruise. I mean, awesome.

[B]

I know one song. I forgot what it was, though.

[A]

Oh, they got some bangs.

[B]

It was like a collab with some art, a pop artist, I think. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. But, I mean, they're good, but they're. Those are the kind of guys, like, that's Southern boys. And then you go farther south, and then you get to Orlando, which is going to be more kind of like your standard sort of metropolitan. Like, Orlando is actually a little gay, to be honest.

[B]

Oh, actually, well, yeah. I remember they had the big mass shooting of the.

[A]

Absolutely. Which was like, a massive thing in Orlando because, like, this is just my opinion. Opinion. I actually don't know if this is true, but, like, I think that's probably, like, the biggest gay community in all of Florida is, like, Orlando. And I think there's a mixture of, like, Disney. You know what I mean? Oh.

[B]

Because it's kind of like, flamboyant.

[A]

It's a little flamboyant. Like, they do gay day at Disney every year. We're like, no way. Oh, yeah. Look up Gay day.

[B]

Disney at Disney dude's place.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, bro. They have a gay day. I mean, they used to call it gay day. They probably call it, like, LGBT Pride day or whatever.

[B]

Brackets Gay day.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, dude, it's unofficial. Oh, I love that.

[B]

In June.

[A]

I didn't even know it was unofficial. I thought it was an official thing. Oh, this is just. The gay community would be like, hey, we're all going to Disney.

[B]

That's somehow worse.

[A]

They just. They just mob up the gay homies.

[B]

Like, well, they're not going to let us have our.

[A]

Our.

[B]

Our official day. We're going to make it official now.

[A]

Go to Images. For me, the funniest part of this whole thing is that we used to do a field trip every year to Disney. My little Christmas Christian school. And the day we were planning was on Gay Day. And they were like, I don't know, it's just like, you know, it's going to be packed and, you know, maybe like, our values as a small Christian school. And on top of that, our field trip. Every time we went on a field trip anywhere would be khaki shorts, red polo, and the official uniform of Gay Day is the red shirt.

[B]

No way. That's hilarious. Yeah.

[A]

Zoom out. Like, you can see all these guys. Everyone's got their red shirt.

[B]

Oh, my God. God. They saw a bunch of kids in red shirts and khaki shorts, and they'd.

[A]

Be like, what is. Is this like a gay. Like, is this like a gay school or something? Like, what kind of school is this? And so we were like, okay, we're going to go instead to the Holy Land now. The Holy Land. Look up the Holy Land Experience in Orlando. For me, the Holy Land is a theme park that's now defunct. But for my entire childhood, it was a massive thing near Disney right off the highway that was built to look like Trail Jerusalem. And it was like a massive, like, Middle Eastern city that they built. That's a theme park where. It's like a Christian theme park where.

[B]

They do, like, Christian theme park, literally.

[A]

Where, like, they do, like, they have, like, a museum thing, like a little exhibit. Yeah, he's like, pieces of, like, ancient script from the Bible and stuff. But then they also do, like, you know, reenactments from Bible stories and then. But it's like a massive theatrical event. Could you pull this up, Crusoe? The Holy Land Experience. It's a.

[B]

That's unreal.

[A]

It's a hilarious, hilarious thing. And it's basically like all these theme parks. Like, Disney's not the only one. Everyone else that wanted to build a theme park was like, oh, we'll just build in Orlando because people are already going there for Disney.

[B]

That's unreal.

[A]

So the Holy Land.

[B]

Yeah, dude.

[A]

That was what you would see driving on the highway. Just a massive, like, Arab city in the middle of Morocco. For real, bro.

[B]

What? And this is a Christian.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, it's not like Literally Christian, but, like.

[B]

But like Holy Land, I think pretty religious.

[A]

I mean, I think. Think it is probably Christian, but it was kind of like Judeo Christian.

[B]

It was religious in some way.

[A]

Yeah. And they would open it up to, like, Jewish day schools, and they would. I think they would have, like, a Torah thing and then, like, wow. But it was specifically, like, Abrahamic religions, and they'd be like, we all come here. They do, like, plays.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's a whole thing. And so we went there instead, and we saw Jesus get crucified. That was literally part of it.

[B]

You literally saw Jesus.

[A]

Actually, we saw Gay Day, went here, and it was a vivid reaction reenactment. It wasn't like, oh, this is Jesus. And now he goes in the tomb. It was like, give him to me. And like, pontus, like, you're sentenced to death. And then he's being whipped, and, like, there's blood flying everywhere. Then they put him on the cross.

[B]

This is what I saw.

[A]

This is what I saw.

[B]

This is real.

[A]

I'm 10 years old. I'm watching this and. And, like, there's blood. I'm looking at my teacher. She's crying. She's like, it's just so beautiful. And I was like, what the hell, dude? It's crazy. And so they. There's blood everywhere. Like, you're getting splash. Like, you're in, like, SeaWorld, dude. It's like you're in the splash zone. You got your poncho on, like, blood's hitting. And you. And you're SeaWorld. And then they prop him up, and then this guy's dead. And then you're like, holy. And then they bury him, and then he resurrects. It's like the whole thing, and it's vivid. It's not like, oh, that we hide some of it. It's like, no, like, he's on the pole just getting whipped.

[B]

Jesus, literally.

[A]

Literally, dude, what the hell? And then at the end of the whole day, like, we're all getting in the bus or all of us are a little bit like, that was. Took a. A turn. You know, we see the actor playing Jesus walking out. What's he wearing? His red shirt.

[B]

Red shirt.

[A]

He's going to gay day. He's an actor after all. You know what I mean?

[B]

And my field trips were to Burger King, and you got gay Jesus reenactments.

[A]

Okay, now, in fairness, the. The red shirt part at the end was embellished, but you get the point.

[B]

I get the point.

[A]

So this was. This was Orlando. All right, so it's like kind of like beachy, but not super beachy. It's like it's, you know, an hour from the beach. Right. But still you're going to get like your pickup trucks and your boys in the board shorts and people just wearing like body glove shirts for no reason. And then you go south and you're not going south, you're going into the north Caribbean. Oh.

[B]

So they don't call that the South.

[A]

I mean, erroneously, people be like, yeah, you know, the south, you know, like Alabama, Mississippi, Florida.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And they're really talking about one tiny part of Florida. Oh, Orlando's not the South.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

You're not going to see people Southern accents into that. None of that.

[B]

Yeah. Even Miami. Well, that's just Cuban.

[A]

And then you go Miami and then you're just in Cuba.

[B]

That's just. Yeah.

[A]

All along the way you got different types of black people. Right? You know, I mean, so you got like kind of country black people up north. You got Haitians kind of in like central South. And then you got like, you know, like hood black dudes that live in like west Orlando that are just like gang banging, you know what I mean? And just like making rap music. And then you have like the whole like Broward rap scene that created like all Soundcloud rap.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah, you got like Lil Pump xxx. Oh, wow. I mean, a bunch of other people smoke per. Like there's like a bunch of like rappers that came out.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Like that Broward County.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like South Florida rap.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

Crazy. And then you go south and then you're just in Cuba. And that's why, that's why Florida is the most fascinating place.

[B]

That's very, in a way, it's actually quite diverse. Think about it.

[A]

It's the most diverse, bro. Cuz that's the other thing. No one's from Florida, you know what I mean? Like I'm of the first generation to be from Florida, but even me, I was born in France and then moved there when I was a kid.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

So like, even for my family, my family is not from Florida.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So no one's from there. Everyone moves there and they're all moving from different places. So like even in Orlando, Little Saigon is right there. Some like the best Vietnamese food in the world. It's just like in Orlando, it's like one of the biggest aspiras of Vietnamese people. After Vietnam War, they all went to Orlando.

[B]

Crazy.

[A]

There's like a Persian community, there's a Brazilian community, there's Indian, Persians, Orlando Yeah, yeah.

[B]

No way.

[A]

Go on down, check it out.

[B]

What the hell?

[A]

I'm telling you, everyone's down there.

[B]

Interesting. Yeah. I heard Orlando's quite dangerous, though. Yeah, no, not like any other. Some of the other places in the States.

[A]

No, I mean, I grew up there, so it's like, hard for me to like, really. But I've never, I've never felt like danger. I mean, it's as dangerous as any place in America.

[B]

I got a question for you. What? What? You've. I mean, you've also traveled a bunch now too, doing comedy.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And maybe you can attest to this because now I've had the pleasure of doing that too, and I'm grateful for it. But you being born and raised and living in Florida your whole life. Pretty much. But now you travel a lot. What's the biggest thing that you've learned about, you know, not staying in your own little bubble?

[A]

Oh, dude, so much again, like, what's.

[B]

The biggest takeaway for you? I guess.

[A]

Well, every city has a scale, same problem, two things. Every city on the planet that you go to, they are mad about two things every single time. They're typically mad about other stuff. But there's two things no matter where you go.

[B]

The French.

[A]

The French is a big one. Everyone's pissed off about the French for some reason. Yeah. I don't even know why. All right, you guys, it makes sense, you know, I mean, you're like, dude, we got these Canadians, these French Canadians over there.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, you know, smoking all day. I know, but traffic. Oh, construction. Everywhere you go. I know people are mad about these two things and it's hilarious to me. We went to, we went to Riyadh and we're like, what do you got? What's bugging you guys? The traffic. Traffic and the construction is non stop. They're pissed everywhere you go.

[B]

It's not even that bad.

[A]

No, I mean, it's just. Yeah, it's just like anything. There's traffic everywhere. Right. So it's just a funny thing to me. Like, no matter where you go, people just pissed off about the traffic. Yeah, people are listening to this right now and being like, he's talking about Omaha. He's talking about. He's been to Omaha.

[B]

He's talking about Nebraska.

[A]

Yeah, he's talking about us. But no, you guys have traffic also. There's no place without traffic. But I mean, as far as, like, traveling, more broadly speaking, I'm like, within the U.S. i mean, one thing, this is a very. This, this is gay of me. But people are way more common, way more in common than they are different.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you don't realize it because you see stuff on the news and you're like, oh, man, everyone hates each other. And you go around the country and you're, like, going to restaurants, everyone's kind of doing, you know, they're chilling. And, like, we have way more in common where people, like, all want the same things. You know what I mean? Like, you know, they love their kids. Right. Like, they. They want, like, good education.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, healthcare would be nice, but it's like little things like that where it's like, oh, I. We're not as divided, it seems like. At least this is my interpretation.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm also spending time, like, near the comedy club and stuff like that.

[B]

Right, Exactly.

[A]

I mean, the other thing I love about America is, like, you just go around and America is unique, like this Canada, in the same way that, like, this idea of what it even means to be American, like, I don't, like, classify it ethnically at all. Like, it's really like a. Like a. Like a philosophy where so many other countries are ethnic. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, it's purely that, like, you go.

[A]

To, like, UAE and it's like, oh, yeah, I'm Emirati, and, like, you've lived here your whole life and, like, I still respect you and I love you, but, like, you're not Emirati, you know, I mean, like, you're Jordanian, but you're not. Yeah, because my parents have been here for 10,000 years.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But, like, America is like, everyone just kind of believes the same philosophy of, like, oh, I can be. I can be better. I can get something more, I can grow. I can. I can become the best version of myself. And to me, I'm like, I don't care where you from or what you do. Like, everyone kind of shares that same thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anywhere in the country, which I think is, like, very cool.

[B]

That's a good thing about America, like, too, is like, they. They. They're go getters and they. They want to make something of themselves.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But you don't get that sense anywhere else in the world, to be honest.

[A]

Yeah. I wonder if you felt this in Canada, even, like, trying to, like, pursue a dream. Did you have some people be like, oh, yeah. What is the dream? What? Well, for what?

[B]

Yeah, they. They have a. A thing in Australia called tall poppy syndrome. Have you heard of this?

[A]

No.

[B]

So in Australia, when I lived there for a year.

[A]

Oh, I didn't realize you lived there.

[B]

Yeah. Cuz. I moved there because I needed somewhere to practice my new set for my tour I'm on right now to, like, just, you know, bomb and get on stage as much as possible to. To get the reps in. Right. To practice the material for this new hour. And I don't want to stay in Canada where my mom, my, my main fan base is, right. Like, you know, I don't want people to see me while I'm working on bits, you know, in progress. And then I also couldn't get into the States. My visa got rejected four times.

[A]

So how long were you supposed to go for?

[B]

To where?

[A]

Into the States. Sorry, you were supposed to be in Australia for how long?

[B]

Well, we just. We wanted to go for a year.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, but then you couldn' To America.

[B]

Well, we went to Australia because we couldn't get to the States. Yeah, because it's like I can't work without papers in the States at all. And so I'm like, well, I'm not going to risk it. Like, I'm just going to find, you know, pivot. And so because my visa got rejected four times, we're like, all right, let's try to maybe go to the uk, but uk, you can only get a visa for like, three months and then you have to leave. But I'm like, I need, like, I needed like a good year somewhere. We found out that Australia, Australia is a Commonwealth country with Canada, it's easy for Canadians to just drop everything and move there and you have to pay 500 and you. And you can just live there for a year.

[A]

That's great.

[B]

Whereas states, you have to pay 50 grand just to get a visa and then might not even get. Get in. Right. So Australia, we went and they have a bunch of. They have some of the best fringe festivals in the world there. Some of the best, like, comedy festivals. Fringe festivals.

[A]

You were in Sydney most of the time.

[B]

Melbourne. Melbourne, Perth and Sydney. Those are the main three. I went all over, but those are the main three where they had the festivals. Perth is the best one. And I was getting up like six times a night doing 20, 30 minutes on stage.

[A]

For real?

[B]

Yeah. It was nuts because, like, a lot of these shows, like, I don't know, some of the comedians out there, it's like not as strong as Canada in US to be honest. So you show up and you're, you're like, you know, even if you're decent here. Yeah, you go there, you're like, oh, man, who's this guy?

[A]

Yeah, right. And Australians are funny too.

[B]

No, there's some great comics there too, but.

[A]

But like just the people.

[B]

The people itself, the audiences are going.

[A]

To be great, I imagine.

[B]

Well, you think that, but there was a big humbling experience for me because, you know, it was a big culture shock. It was like, I'm used to performing in Canadian audiences and American audiences for the most part. Australian audiences are way more like, not as forgiven, forgiving. And they. They actually don't like it when you're on stage and you're too confident. They love when you self deprecate.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

So tall poppy syndrome is like literally like they don't like seeing people doing better than them.

[A]

Ah.

[B]

And so when you're in an audience, when I was over in Australia, the amount of bombs, I've had more in a concentrated amount of months than my entire career.

[A]

That's so fun, bro.

[B]

It was the most discouraging ever. But it teaches you a lot.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Because now you're like, all right, well, now you know how to perform in front of this type of person.

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's the beauty of traveling, right? Yeah, like doing comedy or whatever. It's like you really find out what people like and how they are. And Toppy syndrome is a real thing. They. That's why you don't never really see anyone making out of Australia.

[A]

Oh, that's so interesting.

[B]

Because they're like, ah, this might like these things better than me.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

It's like, nah, like, you know, they. They hate it.

[A]

That's so interesting. It's very much an English thing.

[B]

It's a kind of an English thing too. Yeah, it's very similar.

[A]

I think they probably got it obviously from being an English calling it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think that culture, because, like, the Irish in America are like that. English in America are like that. Like, it's kind of like a thing where it's like, who the do you think? Yeah, yeah. I think Canada probably gets a little bit from that same. A little bit kind of kind of thing.

[B]

They don't care. Like, they don't support. They don't really support until you make it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But America, they will. They'll push you.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

They're like, yeah, yeah, he's one of our own.

[A]

I mean, that's the reason my dad left Montreal. He lived in Quebec City and then moved to Montreal. And he was like, oh, yeah, I want to, like, you know, start a business. Like, I want to, like, try to be successful in my life. He just had people around him being like, what even. What does that even mean?

[B]

That bar Knack. You want to make a business. The. Are you talking about brother? Brother is it's not going to go well. But that's good. It's good, right?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

It's so true, bro.

[A]

Yeah. I love that you said tabernac, by the way. Of course. Because it's very funny. Not a lot of people know this, but, like, French Canadian profanity. And French profanity is different.

[B]

It is.

[A]

It's very different, and people don't realize that.

[B]

So different. Yeah, it's like, it's very specific to French Canadian.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like. Like, French profanity will be kind of similar to Spanish, you know, you say like, Putin like me. Yeah. Like puta me. Like, it's similar.

[B]

Very similar.

[A]

But it's not really religious. No, but in French, it is only religious.

[B]

I know.

[A]

Like, sac. Yeah. Is a Virgin Mary, you know, it's like the sacred blue and tabby on that. Cuz obviously the tabernacle that you keep Jesus in. And so it's like, all the profanity is religious, which is just so funny to me. I. I don't know why that is. Like, I wonder if they were just more of, like, a. Like, a Catholic stronghold against, like, the Protestant Christians, and they were like, we need to be the most Catholic. Like, we need to be the most French. The most Catholic. Like, there's so, like. Like, kind of, like, insecure about their French in a way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But they're like, everything needs to be French. Like, the only McDonald's sign or. No, what is it? The only Burger King sign in the world that doesn't say Burger King, I think is in Quebec. Yeah, it's like. It's whatever Burger King is in French.

[B]

Yeah. Even. Even McDonald's. When I was in Montreal last, in some of the outer neighborhoods, it says. You know how it says Ronald McDonald? Yeah, yeah, I forgot what I said. Exactly. But it was like, You know, like, it was like a dash, something. I'm like, bro, Ronald McDonald.

[A]

That's so funny. It's just a name.

[B]

You don't need to.

[A]

Freaking it up.

[B]

You don't need to French it up.

[A]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.

[B]

The brother. This is a French colony. All right, that's.

[A]

That's a good. Have you ever heard the term peppers for French Canadians?

[B]

No. Peppers.

[A]

No. Yeah. This is like a thing, like, way back the day. I don't even. I don't know if they do it anymore. But, like, they would call French Canadians peppers.

[B]

No.

[A]

And it's like, oh, yeah, they would, like, Like, a French Canadian dinner would be, like, a twinkie and a Dr. Pepper.

[B]

Oh, so it's super white.

[A]

Yeah, it was, like, derogatory. It's like. Yeah, these are, like, kind of trash people. Like, they drink, like. Yeah. Dinner, like soda and candy. You know what I mean?

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. French Canadian. Something that's called peppers as an ethnic slur. They were too poor to afford Coke and drink cheaper soda. Oh, that's funny. I didn't even know the coke thing.

[B]

Egyptians would not be able to survive there. I'm not beer. I'm not be.

[A]

Canadian.

[B]

What do you mean, be? I'm not. No, I'm Arabi. Not be.

[A]

Oh, dude. French Canadians are funny, though. They're. They're a funny bunch.

[B]

I don't know. They hack darts and they. They're miserable, just like the real French.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's another stereotype of French Canadians. They all smoke cigs.

[B]

Oh, my God. They crush darts.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Hacking darts constantly.

[A]

Dude, my name. I'll have, like, my mom will have, like, Google alerts for anytime my name gets brought up, and she just tells me it's just French Canadian hockey players. Just anytime my name I know. Which a lot of people, by the way, in Toronto know how to pronounce it correctly, even if they don't speak French.

[B]

Well, we're cultured.

[A]

No, no, no. The reason is not culture. The reason is way funnier. The reason is that if you win the lottery.

[B]

I knew you're gonna say that.

[A]

The most trash reason to learn French.

[B]

Hilarious.

[A]

If you win the lottery, like a scratch off or whatever, the thing will come and say gagne, which means winner.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then Gagnon is derivative of that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just saying French is a beautiful name.

[B]

It's not just that. It's winner Gagnon. I heard that in my dreams growing up. That's how much I heard it. Every gas station and I walk into. Hey, can I pump five? Winner Ganyon. Sorry, what was that? Sorry, sir. What do you say? Winner Gagnon, bro. You would think constantly.

[A]

Like, it's such a sick last name associated with winning all the time.

[B]

That's gangster, number one. Number one gangster.

[A]

That's us.

[B]

Gangster marquee.

[A]

And then you go to Florida. It's Gagnon.

[B]

Gagnon. It sounds like a bondage.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. You want to try some? Gagnon going Room five. It's like, what, bro?

[A]

This is a true story. I don't even know if I can share this, but I'm going to. I'm going to do It. And we'll cut it if we need to, but my. My sister is getting married. The guy she's getting married to, his last name is Cox.

[B]

Cox.

[A]

Now their wedding invitations.

[B]

No way.

[A]

No.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Is the beautiful matrimony the UN reunion of Gagnon Cox? That's a true story.

[B]

No way.

[A]

That's a real thing. Dude.

[B]

That's hilarious.

[A]

And I did it as a joke years ago with my friend Joey Balzac.

[B]

Ah.

[A]

And I was like, gagnon Ballsack. I was like, dude, let's go on tour.

[B]

We have to.

[A]

And we'll do a run in Florida. You and me. Beautiful gagging on balls act.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think this is perfect. We made shirts. It was great. And then my sister did it for real. Wow. I was like, that is a different.

[B]

Different level.

[A]

That's different level. Okay. I want to ask you about the Indians.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Why are Indians funny, too?

[B]

I grew up with Indians. They're some of my best friends, the Gujaratis. Specifically the diamond owners. Oh, yeah, yeah. One of my boys literally owns a diamond business.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's hilarious.

[A]

Indians do a good job anywhere they go.

[B]

Yeah, they.

[A]

They.

[B]

They get around no matter what. Whether it's Uber eats or are diamond.

[A]

But they figured out, like, car dealership. Your Uber E driver today will be a millionaire in five years. I don't know how they do it. Indians pull it off. Like, can you look up how many hotels or motels in America are owned by someone with the last name Patel?

[B]

Well, that's for sure. Yeah, we knew. Like, that's one of the most common things.

[A]

It was a number that I couldn't believe. Like, what do you think? What. What percentage of. Of, like, motels are owned by Patels?

[B]

You there? Oh, it's probably, like, 60%.

[A]

Hunt, let's take a look.

[B]

What? Just chat GBT. You got chat GBT.

[A]

We can't afford chat GBT. Come on, dude, it's free. Well, in that case, it's in the budget. It's back on. All right, hold on. Do we have it?

[B]

Chat gvd. Sir, you want to chatting gbt.

[A]

AI. We are the division of AI.

[B]

Yes. And derivation is like a mathematical and that Academic.

[A]

Indian academic.

[B]

Not artificial Indian academic.

[A]

Okay, what is it? Oh, specifically, Gujrati.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

60%. I mean, you nailed it. Look at you. You know, your.

[B]

That's the wrong Indian.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, that's wild. Okay, so you grew up with Indians. What. What do they do? That's funny. Oh, man. Can. No, you go, you go, you go.

[B]

No, it's okay. Don't tar off. Don't tar off. That's. That's another Persian term. Taro.

[A]

Taro.

[B]

You know what tarof is?

[A]

No.

[B]

Taro is like. You can't even explain it. It's just like a thing. It's like a, it's like how would.

[A]

You use it all English and then put taroff in there.

[B]

It's like we just finished eating a meal together and then you offer to pay for the bill and then I'm like, no, no, please, no, I have to. You said no, no, no, don't tar off. No, no, no, I have to. It's. If I don't, I die. No, no, don't tar off. No, no, listen, if you don't let me buy, we are never talking again. No, please don't harrow.

[A]

Don't tar off.

[B]

Yeah, it's like. Or like yo, you, you, you give me a, a compliment.

[A]

You look beautiful in this jacket.

[B]

Oh, you want. You like it here? No, it's yours now it's yours.

[A]

This is very much an Arab thing as well. Cuz even when we were in, in uae, they're like, yeah, if you compliment something on someone, they give it to you.

[B]

They give it to you.

[A]

Like beautiful Rolex. I love your Rolex.

[B]

Well, not that. Something more in your paper.

[A]

I wonder, I, I wonder if Persians are like this, but Indians specifically. This is the first time I noticed it growing up. Is going to my Indian friends friend's house is like the shoe culture is like, is like you go in the house, shoes are coming off and like putting shoes on like a table would be like beyond table like in my house right now. What the. You just wear your shoes in the house.

[B]

That's so American. That's the most American. It's not even a white thing.

[A]

Are Mexicans like this? Are Mexicans shoe phobic? Do you take your shoes off when you come inside? I do, yes. Do most Mexicans. Oh, but Mexicans have a hilarious stereotype with shoes. Oh yeah.

[B]

The chunkless.

[A]

That. With the chunkless. It's a hilarious thing that you can't walk around barefoot in your house on tile.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cuz do you know why?

[B]

I don't know why.

[A]

You'll catch a cold. Classic. You'll get sick. Happens every time. Every Mexican I know believes this. They go, yeah, that's. Yeah, that's obvious. You got to have house slippers.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because otherwise you'll get a cult.

[B]

Yeah, that's. It's pretty standard. Persians are kind of the same.

[A]

Really? Persians also have the chunk leather now.

[B]

Well, we call it dam, but, yeah, same thing. Yeah. Same concept.

[A]

D. But it's an inside house, inside slipper.

[B]

And you have to put your shoes off at the door if you. You have to.

[A]

And, like.

[B]

Or else you're. You're. No, you're banned. You're just leave.

[A]

I, like, the shoe culture thing is like a white American. Dude.

[B]

It's so crazy because it's not, like I said, it's not a white thing everywhere. It's just America.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Even though white people in Canada take their shoes off the door, they're more Arab than white people in America.

[A]

If my shoes are, like, messy, of course. Like, if I was, like, just stomping around the mud or some. I'm not going to wear my shoes.

[B]

I only wear that in the kitchen.

[A]

That's.

[B]

That's where it's meant to be.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Nowhere else, though.

[A]

But in my house, you just wear your shoes. You go inside, you walk around in shoes.

[B]

Yeah, that's. I've never done that.

[A]

That's so funny.

[B]

And I actually feel disgusted. If I do do that, will you.

[A]

Go into your bed with your outside clothes?

[B]

Oh, no way.

[A]

No way. No.

[B]

Like, if I have to, I'll change, like, at the door and, like, wherever. I'll never touch the bed, though.

[A]

You won't take a nap?

[B]

No, never. That's never happened. Absolutely not. Absolutely not.

[A]

It's just another thing. As a white American, I think what I'm realizing is that we're the weird ones. White Americans are the weirdest immigrants. We're the weirdest people. There's actually a great. A great book on this, if you're interested. It's called the Weirdest People in the World. And it's basically to say that, like, the Western world is not. Especially if you like cultures. You're going to love this book.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's that the rest of the world's not crazy. Is that if you live in America or, like, you know, England or something, but specifically America.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We are this bizarre enclave of traditions and habits that no one else on the planet does. And it's an acronym. WEIRD stands for, like, Western educated, industrialized, rich, democratic.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

And so if you fall into these criteria, you have a different philosophy on the world than the rest of the world. So, like, one of the things that they bring up is like. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. One of the things they'll bring up is like. Like nepotism.

[B]

Yep. That's a big thing.

[A]

Like, in America, nepotism is bad.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

And the rest of the world Nepotism is how it's done.

[B]

That's literally how Persians operate. It's just Jews are really good at that.

[A]

Every culture around the world, Indians, like Bollywood is all nepotism.

[B]

True.

[A]

So we're the one. Could you. Could you go to the book and just be like, Just chat GPT? Like, in the weirdest people in the world, like, the biggest things that Americans do that are the weirdest things ever. Going inside with shoes isn't in the book, but it is.

[B]

That should be number one.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, our relationship with dogs as white Americans is. Is a little strange.

[B]

It is. I mean, I get it. Like, I love dogs, so I'm not as against it.

[A]

Everyone likes dogs.

[B]

No, but Americans, Yeah, they, like, make out their dogs.

[A]

I forgot who had this joke, but they were like, americans think all black people look the same, but they know every dog breed. Or white people. That's so true. It's hilarious.

[B]

So true. That's such a good. Yeah.

[A]

Literally, you're like, oh, that's like a dash and corgi mix.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then you meet a black guy, you're like, do you know my friend Jamal?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you're like, okay, so Haitian.

[B]

Like, what kind of part of Asia is that? How come you don't speak Ching Chong? So what? Jesus Christ. I'm getting so high in this.

[A]

By the way, you can take it off. I think you're super sweating, buddy.

[B]

I've never sweat my boobs so much in my life. My ass is odorizing.

[A]

I had a feeling you're gonna get warm. I, I. Oh, yeah, I just.

[B]

I perspire heat constantly.

[A]

No, I'm the only scumbag wearing a western outfit for some reason. All right, okay. Before we. Before we bounce. Thank you so much. This is awesome. I appreciate it. Thank you for doing the Jamaican accent also. Yeah, yeah. Baguan. The last. The last stereotype I love about Jamaicans is homophobia. Oh, I hate that he's a fish.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fish. A fish man, bro, this is my favorite thing. Anytime I meet Jamaicans, I ask about this on stage, but it's like, Jamaicans are so homophobic that they won't, like, they call gay people fish. And because of that, they don't even order fish at a restaurant. No, they don't eat fish. Pause because it sounds gay.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So they say, me, sea creature, I eat, swim around.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Mino E. Fish. Fish. No, it's a B, man.

[B]

Sea creature, boy.

[A]

Rich millionaire.

[B]

Steon. Steon. How many egg you fry? Six. Bumble dot. Egg. Six. Boomerat. Dead dog. Egg N. Me can't support you no more. Steon me can't support you no more.

[A]

God bless Jamaicans and God bless all the people of the world.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But most importantly, God bless the Persians.

[B]

The Persians.

[A]

The Persians. Number of.

[B]

Number of un Person.

[A]

Nima, thank you so much, brother. I appreciate it. It's always a pleasure speaking with you and specifically speaking with someone that just shares a. A love for humanity and cultures as. As much as I do. You know what I mean? This is. I feel like most times people in the Western world, they walk around, they're just. They look at people and they go, yeah, that's a guy I'll never talk to. Whatever. It doesn't matter. But guys like you, you want to know?

[B]

Always. I really appreciate it, man. Thank you for having me, and thank you for talking about my people and. And loving culture just as much as I do.

[A]

It.

[B]

It brings. Brings me to life knowing that there are other people like me who obsess over different cultures and, you know, have a lust for learning about new people and. Come on, dude, accents and languages, man. It's just amazing, you know, we're all.

[A]

Stuck on this planet together.

[B]

That's it, man.

[A]

Might as well learn to, you know, everyone's up to, hell yeah, brother. Hell yeah, bro.

[B]

All day, baby.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Thank you very much.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yes. Say hello to your family. Thank you very much. Okay. Thank you very much. Okay.