Campus Cult

Summary

Campus Files: Campus Cult
Episode Summary
Release Date: August 6, 2025
Host: Audacy's Campus Files, Narrated by Margo Gray and Shel

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Introduction: The Hidden Reality of College Campuses

College is often portrayed as the quintessential American experience—a time of growth, learning, and forging lifelong friendships. However, behind the idyllic campus scenes lies a darker underbelly. In this gripping episode of Campus Files titled "Campus Cult," host Margo Gray delves deep into the unsettling infiltration of a religious group, the International Church of Christ (ICOC), within American college campuses. Through the harrowing personal account of former member Shel, the episode uncovers the manipulative tactics and psychological abuse that transform a supposed ministry into a cult.

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Shel's Early Life and Journey to College

Background and Early Struggles
Shel originates from Puyallup, Washington, a region known for its gloomy weather, which she humorously described during an appearance on The Price is Right as "the rhubarb, topsoil, daffodil, and suicide capital of the world" (02:48). Her childhood was marred by her father's battle with alcoholism and the premature loss of both parents by the age of 20, leading to profound emotional scars (03:24).

Aspiration for a Californian Dream
Driven by dreams of warmer beaches and a passion for filmmaking inspired by Steven Spielberg’s brief stint at Long Beach State, Shel moved to California in 1989 (04:34). Financial constraints post-divorce necessitated her securing a job, which led her to Ed Dubevik's, a vibrant 1950s-themed diner where she adopted the pseudonym "Rosie" (05:29).

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Encountering the ICOC: Seeds of Influence

The Persistent Couple
At Ed Dubevik's, Shel encountered a peculiar couple who began frequenting her section, persistently inviting her to their non-denominational Christian church without disclosing its true identity as the ICOC (06:39). Shel, intrigued by her growing curiosity about religion, eventually succumbed to their relentless invitations (07:44).

First Church Experience
On Father's Day Sunday 1990, Shel attended what she thought would be a typical church service. However, the experience was jarring. The husband from the diner unexpectedly took the pulpit, delivering an intense sermon laden with fear-inducing scriptures about hell (09:47). Overwhelmed and sensing something was amiss, Shel experienced what she later identified as a panic attack and fled the service (10:04). Tragically, that evening, Shel's father died by suicide, deepening her vulnerability (12:09).

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Deepening Involvement: From Visitor to Devotee

Relentless Recruitment
In her moment of grief, the couple reached out to Shel, presenting their church as a beacon of support. "God is your father now," they proclaimed, intensifying her sense of desperation and nudging her towards deeper involvement (12:09; 07:03).

Entering the Cult
Shel began attending Bible studies, initially viewing them as a benign escape. However, the sessions quickly became coercive, culminating in aggressive recruitment tactics and emotional manipulation (16:32). The group employed love bombing, showering Shel with attention and affection to secure her trust and commitment (16:50).

Commitment and Control
Within three months, Shel was baptized in the freezing Pacific Ocean, marking her official induction into the ICOC (18:58). Membership entailed stringent financial donations, often exceeding the supposed 10% contribution, and relentless recruitment efforts. Shel recounts, "You can't be a part of this group unless you agree to go make disciples of all nations," highlighting the coercive pressure to constantly expand the group's influence (20:59).

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Life Inside the ICOC: A Prison of Faith and Fear

Total Domination
Shel's life became entirely consumed by the ICOC. From micromanaged daily routines to being at the beck and call of leaders, her personal freedoms were severely restricted. She describes her existence as "literally being told when I could even do my laundry" and facing severe rebukes for perceived disobedience (24:33; 25:02).

Forced Marriage and Emotional Abuse
A particularly traumatic aspect of Shel's experience was the ICOC's policy on marriage. Members were required to marry within the group without prior acquaintance, leading to emotionally abusive relationships. Shel's marriage was marked by control and neglect, forcing her to confront the group's oppressive doctrines (26:25).

Psychological Entrapment
The ICOC fostered an environment where leaving the group was psychologically daunting. The doctrine instilled a perpetual fear of damnation, making the idea of defection not only terrifying but seemingly impossible. Shel reflects, "It was this very painful tightrope you're walking of... I believe what they're saying, but I'm miserable and I don't want to be here" (25:55; 26:25).

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Breaking Free: The Courage to Leave

Realization and Resolve
Faced with an abusive marriage and the suffocating grip of the ICOC, Shel began to question the group's teachings and practices. The undeniable toxicity of her marriage became a catalyst for her to challenge the group's authority (27:54; 28:12).

Support System
Leaving the ICOC was not easy, but Shel was fortunate to have the support of her mother and stepdad. "My parents, to this day, they are definitely my saviors," she states, emphasizing the crucial role of a supportive family in her escape (28:45).

Recovery and Advocacy
Post-departure, Shel embarked on a journey of healing and unlearning the dogmas she had been subjected to for 17 years. It took her about a year to come to terms with her new reality, affirming her self-worth independent of the ICOC's teachings (29:04; 29:16).

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Aftermath and Continued Battle Against the ICOC

Founding Free to Be
Determined to prevent others from falling into similar traps, Shel founded Free to Be, an organization dedicated to combating cultic influences on college campuses. Her efforts are particularly focused on campuses in Boston, where the ICOC has maintained a persistent presence since the 1990s (29:44; 31:11).

Legal Actions and Whistleblowing
Alongside her attorney, Bob Samini, Shel filed lawsuits against the ICOC, accusing its leaders of concealing sexual and emotional abuse. "They are targeting campus students. They're exploiting them. They are defiling their minds," Shel passionately asserts, highlighting the ongoing struggle against the organization's covert operations (30:13; 32:47).

Educational Initiatives
Free to Be collaborates with colleges to educate students and parents during freshman orientations, aiming to identify and eradicate ICOC’s recruitment strategies. Key warning signs include groups excessively pushing specific scriptures, a tactic identifying potential cult activities (32:07).

Confrontation and Defamation
In response to Shel's activism, the ICOC has attempted to discredit her, labeling her as someone seeking fame and money. "If they were really God fearing... they would allow the truth to be told," Shel counters, defending her integrity and emphasizing the group's manipulative nature (32:47).

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Conclusion: A Continuous Battle for Integrity on Campuses

Shel’s story is a poignant testament to the insidious nature of cultic groups within educational institutions. Her transformation from a hopeful college student to a whistleblower and advocate underscores the critical need for awareness and intervention. Campus Files effectively sheds light on the complex dynamics of power, control, and faith exploitation, urging listeners to look beyond the surface of campus ministries and recognize the signs of manipulation.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Shel on Her Hometown:
  "the rhubarb, topsoil, daffodil, and suicide capital of the world. And the guy in the audience goes, yeah, don't put her on the show. She's a real downer." (02:48)

• Shel on Joining the Church:
  "What have I gotten myself into?" (10:16)

• Shel on Love Bombing:
  "Hey, let's go for a run on the beach. Hey, come to this party we're having. Hey, let's do this. Hey, let's do that." (17:06)

• Shel on the ICOC's Practices:
  "Jesus shed his blood on a cross for you and you won't sell your TV." (19:55)

• Shel on Recruitment Pressure:
  "You can't be a part of this group unless you agree to go make disciples of all nations..." (20:59)

• Shel on Escaping the Cult:
  "My parents, to this day, they are definitely my saviors." (28:45)

• Shel on the ICOC's Manipulation:
  "They are targeting campus students. They are exploiting them. They are defiling their minds. They are kidnapping their brains. They’re holding their souls hostage." (32:47)

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Final Thoughts

Campus Cult provides a compelling exploration of the dark intersections between faith, control, and youth vulnerability on college campuses. Through Shel’s courageous narrative, listeners gain invaluable insights into recognizing and combating cult-like influences in environments meant for growth and learning.

Transcript

[Margo Gray]

On WhatsApp, no one can see or hear your personal messages. Whether it's a voice call message or sending a password to WhatsApp, it's all just this. So whether you're sharing the streaming password in the family chat or trading those late night voice messages that could basically become a podcast, your personal messages stay between you, your friends and your family. No one else, not even us. WhatsApp message privately with everyone. Mom and dad, I'm growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. But at least your wallet doesn't have.

[Shel]

To be my fashion victim.

[Margo Gray]

With low prices for school at Amazon, hope that helps Amazon spend less, smile more. Every college campus has some version of a campus ministry, a space where students can explore or maintain their faith. These groups typically offer Bible studies, worship services, and social events. For many, they provide a sense of community during a time of major transition. But in recent decades, a controversial religious group has quietly made its way onto campuses posing as just another student ministry. It's called the International Church of Christ, or ICOC. Founded at the University of Florida in the 1970s, it quickly expanded to colleges across the country. Before long, former members began speaking out, describing a disturbing pattern of manipulation, control, and psychological abuse. They warned that the ICOC wasn't a church, it was a cult. And despite years of scrutiny, it's still active today, recruiting new members on campuses nationwide.

[Shel]

College is absolutely, admittedly, their fishing ground. It is their favorite fishing ground. They built this. They call it a church. They built their cult on campus. Students, they will tell you from the pulpit. That's where they go. They put all of their focus and energy into the campus ministries.

[Margo Gray]

I'm Margo Gray. This week on Campus Files, the story of a cult hiding in plain sight on college campuses across the country.

[Shel]

I grew up in Puyallup, Washington, which is about 40 minutes outside of Seattle.

[Margo Gray]

This is Shel. When she talks about her hometown, one word comes up a lot. Gloomy.

[Shel]

If it's not raining in the Pacific Northwest, it's gray, it's misty, it's cloudy. People that live in gloomier climates do have seasonal depression. One fun fact I one time was on the Price is Right and, well, I was in the audience and they said, tell us where you're from. I go, pew all up Washington. It's the rhubarb, topsoil, daffodil, and suicide capital of the world. And the guy in the audience goes, yeah, don't put her on the show. She's a real downer.

[Margo Gray]

Life at home had its own kind of darkness. Her dad was always struggling. According to her mom, the Korean War had changed him. He returned a different man and slipped into alcoholism. And things only got harder after that.

[Shel]

His parents died when he was 18 and 20, so he lost both parents in a span of two years. He broke his back at work. He just lived in constant pain. He was in and out of depressive states.

[Margo Gray]

One Christmas morning, Shel woke up to find her dad missing. Instead of opening presents, she and her brother spent the morning looking for him.

[Shel]

My dad had so many issues that when I graduated, I was pretty quick to get out of the rain. And the suicide capital of the world.

[Margo Gray]

Shel had her sights set on California. Ever since an eighth grade trip, she dreamed of its warm beaches, so different from the gray, chilly coastline back in Washington. She also knew she wanted a school with a film program, and Long Beach State fit the bill.

[Shel]

I'd heard that Steven Spielberg had went to Long Beach State, which he did. I didn't know till I got there that he only went there for a year because one of the professors told Steven Spielberg that he had no talent in film.

[Margo Gray]

In 1989, Shell headed to Long Beach State, a 300 acre campus just a few miles from the Pacific Ocean.

[Shel]

I arrived in California just like Dorothy had gotten out, you know, into the Land of Oz when her little house crashed there. I was just very naive, very naive. I didn't know much about life, just very much a small town girl that had fallen off the turnip truck and landed in California. So from there I just tried to build a life, put myself through school financially.

[Margo Gray]

Paying for school was no small task. Shel's mom helped when she could, but after her divorce, most of her income went to alimony. That meant Shell needed to find a job. And one afternoon she passed a cheerful looking diner that caught her eye.

[Shel]

I just marched in there and asked them if they were hiring and they just hired me on the spot.

[Margo Gray]

The place was called ed Dubevik's, a 50s themed diner where nothing was too over the top. Every waiter had a fake name. Shell went by Rosie. There was a live DJ dancing and the staff pretty much did whatever they wanted. So one day when a couple asked for coffee creamer, Shel didn't think twice. She flung it across the room and accidentally hit them.

[Shel]

I think they got a kick out of that and was like, oh, we like this girl. And then from that point, they'd only sit at my table. They were odd. So much so that when they would come in I'd be like, oh my gosh, that couple's here again. Do not put them at my table.

[Margo Gray]

But whenever they came to the diner, they waited for a table and Shell's section to open up. And every time it played out the same way. They ordered chicken fried steak and tried to talk her into going to church with them. They said they were members of a great non denominational Christian church. What they didn't mention was the name. The International Church of Christ or icoc.

[Shel]

We go to this really awesome church. It's just awesome. You're going to meet awesome people. And Rosie, you should come. And you can be awesome too, if you come to our church.

[Margo Gray]

Church hadn't been a big part of Shel's childhood, just the occasional Easter service. But lately she found herself growing more curious about religion.

[Shel]

But it wasn't coming from really a religious place. It was coming from my dad's experience. And why do some people have such an easy life and some people have such a hard life? And that always perplexed me. And so that made me dig and search.

[Margo Gray]

Shel had even purchased a Bible, hoping she might find some answers in its pages.

[Shel]

When this couple kept asking me to church, I thought, well, maybe, maybe this is from God. Maybe God's trying to get my attention. Maybe he sent them in here, right? And I'd always been very idealistic, very much a dreamer, very much a do gooder. Really wanted to help the world leave my mark, Wanted to tell stories through film. Just very emotional. Everything meant something to me. I was that kind of person. Like, I saw the signs.

[Margo Gray]

Even if this were her sign to try church, Shel wasn't sure this oddball couple was who she wanted to go with, but they were relentless. And eventually she just couldn't say no anymore.

[Shel]

I had enough courtesy in me where I was like, well, They've asked me 20 times. I've used all my excuses. What could be so bad about church?

[Margo Gray]

Shell agreed to attend church on Father's Day Sunday 1990. And from the start, things felt strange.

[Shel]

We met in a parking lot to drive together to the service. So when I got in their minivan, it was full of other visitors, people that had never been to church before. I just thought, well, this is weird, all these people, we don't know each other. So they introduced everybody. And when we got to the service, she marched me around like a prize. This is my visitor, Rosie.

[Margo Gray]

Isn't she cute?

[Shel]

We met her at Ed to Bevik's. She's so awesome. And everyone's like, Rosie, we've heard about you.

[Margo Gray]

Once the mingling wrapped up, Shel was led to a seat in the front row. There was lively singing, a few welcome remarks, and then, one by one, a series of couples took to the stage to share emotional testimonies about the church.

[Shel]

And they get up and share about how much this particular church was the only reason they've changed. There's no other place. This is the place. I'd be dead without this place. We'd be divorced without this place. Everything was about the group.

[Margo Gray]

Then things took an even stranger turn. It was time for the sermon. And who walks up to the front? The husband from the diner. He'd never mentioned he was a leader in the church.

[Shel]

And he got up and just started preaching hardcore, just the scary scriptures. You know, if you don't do this, you will go to hell. Scriptures. So then I start thinking, what have I gotten myself into?

[Margo Gray]

Shel felt a tightness in her chest. Looking back, she thinks it was a panic attack. She turned to the woman who'd brought her and said she needed some air. Then she bolted outside, searching for a payphone to call someone, anyone, to come get her. In the end, she had no choice but to wait for the couple to drive her home. But home offered no relief. That same evening, Shel's mom called with devastating news. Her father, just 47 years old, had taken his own life. The shock and grief were overwhelming. She was so consumed by it all, she completely forgot about the strange events of the day until the couple called.

[Shel]

So then they called that night, not knowing, saying, oh, we loved having you at service today. How are you doing? We want to set up some Bible studies with you. I start sobbing and just unload everything that had happened with my dad. And the things that they said that I'll never forget were the fear they instantly tried to instill in me. It was, oh, my gosh, do you see what God is trying to do? They said, God is your father now. God knew your dad was gonna die today. He stepped in to be your true father. And, Rosie, you better listen or something worse is gonna happen to you.

[Margo Gray]

In that moment, Shell started to wonder if they were right. Maybe this was a sign from above. Maybe she was meant to join the church. What Shel didn't realize was that she wasn't the only one having those thoughts. All across the country, college students were being pulled in subtly, persistently, and often at their most vulnerable. And before long, Shel wouldn't just be attending services. She'd be recruiting new college members. As summer winds down. I'm thinking about refreshing my wardrobe with staple pieces for the fall. Quint's is the first place I look. They have essentials that feel both effortless and stylish, perfect for layering and mixing. Their styles are versatile, and I find myself reaching for them again and again. I've been living in their cotton Fisherman's flutter lately. It's cozy without feeling bulky, and the quality is incredible for the price. I also picked up one of their black ballet flats, and the craftsmanship easily rivals pieces I've paid double for. Quince has everything from chic cashmere and cotton sweaters starting at just $40 to classic denim and elevated basics you'll wear on repeat. The best part? It's all about half the cost of similar brands. They work directly with top artisans and skip the middlemen, so you're getting luxury without the markup. Plus, they only partner with factories that prioritize safe, ethical and responsible production. Elevate your fall wardrobe essentials with quints. Go to quint.com campus for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N C E.com campus to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.com campus hey there, cats and kittens. It's Brian from the commercial break, the mediocre comedy podcast where my best friend Chrissy and I attempt to make sense of the world. We talk about the absurd, the ridiculous.

[Shel]

And the stuff no one asked for, like Internet weirdos, pickup artists and why everyone is obsessed with crystals and colonics.

[Margo Gray]

It's all gotta stop.

[Shel]

The show is free, it's frequent, and.

[Margo Gray]

It'S probably not for everyone. You can go to tcbpodcast.com, [e-mail] thecommercial.

[Shel]

Break, or check out the show wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Margo Gray]

We'll see you on the next commercial break.

[Shel]

And best to you on top of.

[Margo Gray]

Building this fake volcano for months, I give my daughter Smarty Pants vitamins to support her brain health. So her science fair project sounds more like and less like. And while I may say it's not a competition, of course it's a f competition. Choose Smarty Pants vitamins to support your kid's brain health and save the science fair. Shop on Amazon, smartypantsvitamins.com or at Target today. On June 16, 1990, Shel's life was turned upside down. Her father had died by suicide at just 47 years old. She was left in shock, and it was in this moment of grief that the couple from the diner had called her that night.

[Shel]

It was just such a traumatic experience that you probably could have presented a lot of things to me that in that moment I would have considered when I wouldn't normally have considered it. So when they swooped in with the, oh, my God, look at the timing. God's trying to get your attention, all that stuff, they had me.

[Margo Gray]

Shell hadn't liked a single thing about the church service. But in the haze of grief, she said yes to Bible studies. Maybe it would help her keep her mind off everything else.

[Shel]

There's this really kind of famous, trendy little hangout there called the Kettle, and it's right by the pier. Everybody hangs out down there. And so they invited me to the Kettle to do a Bible study. And so, again, I thought, well, that sounds pretty innocuous. What could be wrong with that?

[Margo Gray]

Shell had pictured Bible study as something casual, like a book club, with fellow college students chatting and loosely discussing scripture. But the conversation quickly turned intense.

[Shel]

This study ends with, if you're not a disciple and you're not making disciples like Jesus said, you are not a Christian and you are lost, so you will go to hell. And this is why God is trying to get your attention, and God sent us to you.

[Margo Gray]

By the end of the Bible study, Shel was freaked out and the group could sense it, so they changed tactics. Looking back, she describes what followed as love bombing, which is when someone overwhelms you with praise and affection to win your trust.

[Shel]

And the love bombing is, hey, let's go for a run on the beach. Hey, come to this party we're having. Hey, let's do this. Hey, let's do that. Like a couple events I was at in la, some of them would just show up and I'm like, how did you even know I was here? It was odd.

[Margo Gray]

Shel may have been put off by their enthusiasm and overbearing presence, but at the same time, it was comforting to have a group rallying around her during such a difficult period. She was all alone on a new college campus, and they offered a sense of belonging at a moment when she needed it most.

[Shel]

My circle was small because I wasn't really social. I was working till 1am Classes, papers, so I just didn't have a lot of time to be social. So that really worked in their favor because I didn't have anyone contradicting what.

[Margo Gray]

I was doing, meaning there was no one outside the group to tell Shell this wasn't normal, that the group's constant presence was Crossing a line. It's only in hindsight that she describes it as love bombing. And it's a tactic the group often used when new college recruits showed hesitation about committing to Bible studies.

[Shel]

So they will tailor it to the human. That's why some people take a year to go through the studies, and some people maybe two weeks. It's how eager are you? In their terms, once someone is broken, they can move fast. They'll say it takes longer to break some people. These are their actual terms. So at some point they've worn you down so much, you just give in and you go, okay, fine, I'll be baptized.

[Margo Gray]

Shell says it took approximately three months for them to break her, and in September 1990, she was baptized in the Pacific Ocean.

[Shel]

Those waters in the Pacific Ocean are freezing in September. Especially at 9pm it's dark. We all have flashlights. I get down to the beach and there is a. A ton of people there, people I've never met in my life. They're all in a circle. We're singing. They read scriptures.

[Margo Gray]

Then Shel was baptized in the freezing water, officially becoming a member of the group. From that moment on, everything changed. The love bombing ended and the work began. As a member, she was now required to donate a portion of every paycheck to the group, supposedly to support mission teams across the country. On paper, the expectation was 10% of every paycheck, but in reality, she was pressured to give much more. That was no small ask, especially for someone already putting herself through school.

[Shel]

You sell your jewelry, you sell your antiques, you sell your belongings, you sell your tv, you sell everything. They get you in such a fever pitch, such a frenzy about saving the world. You know, Jesus shed his blood on a cross for you and you won't sell your tv.

[Margo Gray]

Members were willing to do just about anything. College students skipped meals, picked up extra jobs. Shell knew one friend who sold her plasma and another who sold bone marrow. She even heard of students handing over their college tuition money to the church. Then came the other major responsibility, recruitment to go out on campus and make disciples of all nations. The group's guiding scripture was Matthew 28:18 20, which calls on believers to make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and of the Holy Spirit and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.

[Shel]

You can't be a part of this group unless you agree to go make disciples of all nations, which means you will recruit for us or you cannot make it to heaven. Nobody saved unless they follow this scripture, which is a really brilliant way to build a pyramid.

[Margo Gray]

Each member had actual quotas, specific numbers of people they were expected to recruit into the group.

[Shel]

Everything was stats and numbers. How many people got baptized? How many people did you have at church with you? What was our total attendance? The people that didn't have visitors had to line up against the wall and face the wall. And then all got what they call being rebuked, which means yelled at, scolded, berated, called faithless because they didn't have a visitor with them at church.

[Margo Gray]

As Shel quickly learned, college campuses were the group's primary recruiting ground. In fact, as she'd later discover, the group had started on a college campus at the University of Florida.

[Shel]

They were having so much impact and success on the college campuses that that's when that plan was hatched that that would be their focus.

[Margo Gray]

College students weren't just a they were the lifeblood of the organization. But for many, membership didn't end at graduation. Not even close. And certainly not for Shel. She would go on to spend the next 17 years inside the church. This episode is brought to you by State Farm. Checking off the boxes on your to do list is a great feeling. And when it comes to checking off coverage, a State Farm agent can help you choose an option that's right for you. Whether you prefer talking in person on the phone or using the award winning app, it's nice knowing you have help finding coverage that best fits your needs. Like a good neighbor. State Farm is there. Mom, dad, you should shop Amazon for back to school and save some money. See, I'm currently obsessed with superheroes and need all the superhero stuff.

[Shel]

Superhero lunchbox, superhero backpack.

[Margo Gray]

But next year it'll be something else. Maybe dinosaurs, I don't know. I'm not a fortune teller, but I can tell you not to spend a fortune and shop. Low prices for school on Amazon. Kay, good. Chat Amazon. Spend less, smile more. Shel graduated from college in 1996, six years after she first enrolled. She had been forced to drop out when juggling classes with the demands of the ICOC became too much. Eventually, she begged the church to let her return to school. They agreed, but on one she had to transfer to Cal State Fullerton and lead their campus ministry there. Life after college looked nothing like the future she'd once imagined. Shell had once dreamed of becoming a famous filmmaker, but after graduation, nearly every waking moment was consumed by the IOC. She attended services, led Bible studies, raised money, and recruited new members. She also spent hours serving the group's senior leaders, doing Whatever they needed, whenever they asked.

[Shel]

You are at their beck and call. You're free. Babysitting, cleaning their homes, helping them move when they need to move houses, showing up for anything they need, doing their laundry so you have zero free time. Every minute was micromanaged. I was literally told when I could even do my laundry. One day I did my laundry instead of something that they asked me to do, and I got rebuked for being selfish.

[Margo Gray]

Shell likens her daily existence in the group to being in a prison, which begs the question, if she felt so trapped, why didn't she just leave for one? She had nowhere else to turn. The church had become her entire world.

[Shel]

In 17 years that I was in the group, I moved 30 times. So it's a lot of upheaval. The only constant was the group. That's your only constant. Everything else is disheveled. If you've lived in a city for five years, you make friends. You know the grocery clerk, you know your neighbors. You have community Elsewhere. There was no community except the group, and they designed it that way on purpose.

[Margo Gray]

Then there was the deeper fear what leaving the church might mean for her salvation.

[Shel]

Everything they teach you is your salvation is on the lot on a daily basis. You step out of line at any point and you could lose your salvation, which means you're going to go to hell. Then your family's going to go to hell because you won't be around to save them. So it's this very painful tightrope you're walking of. I believe what they're saying, but I'm miserable and I don't want to be here.

[Margo Gray]

The most painful part of Shell's experience came several years in when it was time for marriage. In the icoc, members are only allowed to marry other members, and they aren't allowed to get to know each other beforehand.

[Shel]

I married a stranger. I did not realize I'd be marrying a narcissist. I did not realize how emotionally stunted he was. So our marriage was pretty horrific from the honeymoon on because once I spent 24 hours with him, I was like, oh, my God, what have I done?

[Margo Gray]

Shel says her husband was emotionally neglectful and controlling. And over time, especially after they had kids, she struggled more and more with having to submit to him.

[Shel]

And so I was always getting in trouble about being an unsubmissive wife. Rebellious. He was constantly told to get me in line, bro, get your wife in line. You know, that kind of thing. The women are second class citizens in this group. You have to be submissive this didn't feel like it was coming from God anymore. It was something that was clearer to me than the issues in the cult because they were so good at weaponizing the Bible and twisting the scriptures. That was more confusing. My marriage was clear.

[Margo Gray]

As Shel began to assess her marriage, she slowly started to question the group she'd followed so obediently for years. Why were women expected to be submissive to men? Why did the leaders wield so much control? Why did the group need so much money? And where was the money actually going?

[Shel]

I actually thank my marriage for getting me out of the cult because it was something I couldn't justify. And I refused for my children to think that this was the standard of a marriage. I just couldn't stay. It was just that bad.

[Margo Gray]

In the end, Shel walked away from it all. She left the church and she left her husband. Fortunately, her mom and stepdad were there to support her and help her start putting her life back together.

[Shel]

My parents, to this day, they are definitely my saviors. I actually feel really bad for people that don't have that resource and help to get out. I can see how it's harder for people to get out that don't have someone that they can lean on and rely on.

[Margo Gray]

Even with her parents behind her, starting over was anything but easy. Leaving the church was one thing, but unlearning the doctrine she'd absorbed for 17 years was something else entirely.

[Shel]

When I first got out, I would say it took me about a year to convince myself that I wasn't going to hell and to remind myself that what they were teaching was false. I had seen it. I had felt it. I knew it. But it still took me a year to just find my footing of what I was going to do with my life.

[Margo Gray]

Since leaving the icoc, Shell has founded a wellness company and pursued several entrepreneurial ventures. But her primary focus is advocacy, warning others about the dangers of the ICOC and other similar cultic groups. Today, she and her attorney, Bob Samini, have filed a series of lawsuits against the International Church of Christ, alleging that its leaders concealed the sexual and emotional abuse of women and children.

[Shel]

So when we filed these lawsuits, we had a rush of phone calls. Thousands and thousands of stories I've received in this process. I just took on that role of a whistleblower, and all these stories started funneling through me. I knew a lot was bad and going on because I lived it. I honestly didn't know it was this bad. I didn't know that I was going to hear stories that would bring me to my knees.

[Margo Gray]

In addition to advocating for victims of the IOC, Shel is focused on prevention, trying to stop people from getting pulled in to begin with. She launched an organization called Free to Be, which targets what she sees as the front lines college campuses. Her organization is especially active on Boston campuses where the ICOC has had a strong foothold since the 1990s.

[Shel]

So much so that I'd say within a year might have been two years they started getting kicked off the universities. So they've been kicked off of Harvard several times, Boston University several times. Basically any main campus university in Massachusetts they have been kicked off of or they have had issues. Warnings, parents calling in a couple police reports we found because they hunt on the campus universities. So here we are. This was in again the 90s. Here we are. Fast forward to 2025. It is still happening in the Boston area.

[Margo Gray]

And not just in Boston. The group has a presence on college campuses all across the country and they're hard to track, often hiding behind new names to avoid scrutiny. At Northwestern, for example, the group goes by the name Meta. Shell says that's why Free to Be is partnering with colleges to educate students and parents during freshman orientation. One key warning sign if a group keeps pushing specific scripture like the one about making disciples of all nations, it could be a red flag. In response to Shell's efforts to spread awareness, the ICOC has tried to smear her reputation. They've accused her of chasing fame and money. Some have even called her evil and claimed she's following Satan.

[Shel]

If they were really God fearing, Jesus loving, Bible walking people like they claim to be, they would allow the truth to be told. I don't have a problem with humans making mistakes. I don't even have a problem with people being fanatical about their religion. You do. You have at it. But I have a problem. When you abuse people and then you lie about it and then you keep doing it. That is the problem. And maybe the biggest part of that problem is they're doing it to campus students. They are targeting campus students. They're exploiting them. They are defiling their minds. They're kidnapping their brains. They're holding their souls hostage. And I know that because they did it to me. Foreign.

[Margo Gray]

Campus Files is an Odyssey Original Podcast this episode was written and reported by Margo Gray. Campus Files is produced by Ian Mont Eliot Adler and me, Margo Gray. Our executive producers and story editors are Maddie Sprunkiser and Laura Lockridge. Campus Files is edited, mixed and mastered by Chris Basel and Andy Jaskowicz Special thanks to Jenna Weiss Berman, J.D. crowley, Leah Rhys Dennis, Maura Curran, Josephina Francis, Kurt Courtney, Hilary Schuff, Sean Cherry, Laura Berman and Hilary Van Ornam. Original theme music by James Waterman and Davey Sumner. If you have tips or story ideas, write to [e-mail] Finding great candidates to.

[Shel]

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[Margo Gray]

Right experience and actively invites them to.

[Shel]

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[Margo Gray]

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[Shel]

That's right, free at ZipRecruiter.com Zip that.

[Margo Gray]

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[Shel]

I host a podcast called the C Word with my dearest friend and historian of bad behavior, Alyssa Bennett.

[Margo Gray]

What is up?

[Shel]

It's a chat show about women whose society is called Crazy.

[Margo Gray]

We're going to be rediscovering the stories of women's society dismissed by calling them mad, sad, or just plain bad. Listen to and follow the C Word.

[Shel]

With Lena Dunham and Alyssa Bennett.

[Margo Gray]

Available now.

[Shel]

Wherever you get your podcasts.