Can I walk with you, Annie?

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Can I Walk With You, Annie?" Podcast: Can I Walk With You?
Host: Thoraya
Release Date: June 2, 2025

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Introduction

In the inaugural episode of Season One titled "Can I Walk With You, Annie?", host Thoraya embarks on a heartfelt journey through the bustling streets of New York City, engaging in spontaneous and authentic conversations with strangers she encounters. This episode delves deep into themes of connection, identity, resilience, and the human spirit, all set against the backdrop of America’s most walkable city.

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Initial Encounter and First Impressions

The episode opens with Thoraya approaching a passerby to ask for permission to walk alongside them. The initial attempt is met with a language barrier when the individual responds, "Sorry, I don't speak English." (00:25). Undeterred, Thoraya persists, eventually securing permission to accompany the person, revealing her cousin is the cameraman. This moment sets the stage for genuine human interaction and the challenges of initiating conversations with strangers.

Notable Quote:
"It always feels so weird when I'm, like, chasing someone from behind... I just feel too creepy and I have to give up." (00:00) — Thoraya

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Meeting Annie: A Story of Resilience

Thoraya’s walk leads her to Annie, who introduces herself as a restaurant manager originally from South Carolina but now residing in New York for the past two years. The conversation quickly uncovers Annie’s journey and the challenges she faced upon moving to New York.

Annie's Journey: Annie shares her story of moving to Brooklyn on a whim, inspired by a chance encounter and a deep-seated passion for the restaurant industry. She recounts how a simple conversation about her favorite book, "Setting the Table", planted the seed for her relocation. Overcoming initial hardships, including being dog-bitten on her last day of training, she highlights the supportive community in New York that helped her through a difficult period.

Notable Quotes:
"I managed to raise money for my GoFundMe... Everyone says New York, you know, hard place. But I've heard that people come together in moments of need." (04:10) — Annie
"There's something more. So I googled anxiety and retreat and I booked a one-way ticket to India..." (07:12) — Annie

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Passion for the Restaurant Business

A significant portion of the conversation delves into Annie’s profound love for the restaurant industry. She describes herself as a "restaurant nerd," emphasizing her dedication to hospitality and genuine care for people. Her philosophy revolves around kindness, active listening, and creating a welcoming environment for all.

Annie's Philosophy: Annie believes in treating every restaurant as her home, ensuring that every guest feels valued and comfortable. She speaks passionately about the joy of connecting with people and the importance of empathy in her role.

Notable Quotes:
"I love taking care of people... Everyone has their own going on, so why be rude or mean?" (05:19) — Annie
"I treat every restaurant like it's my home. And when guests come in, I go out of my way to make them feel good." (05:56) — Annie

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Personal Struggles and Triumphs

Annie opens up about her personal struggles, including the tragic loss of her twin brother during her college years. This event propelled her on a path of self-discovery and healing, leading her to undertake a silent retreat in India and extensive travels across Asia and Australia. These experiences significantly shaped her outlook on life and her commitment to her career.

Overcoming Adversity: The loss of her brother was a turning point for Annie, prompting her to seek deeper meaning and connection. Her travels and the support she received in New York reaffirmed her decision to stay and contribute positively to her community.

Notable Quotes:
"I lost my twin brother when I was in college... I felt wasn't connecting with people... I booked a one-way ticket to India." (07:54) — Annie
"New York will never scare me away... The way people came together... It was the most beautiful thing." (04:36) — Annie

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Embracing Identity and Love

A poignant segment of the episode explores Annie’s journey towards embracing her identity as a gay woman. She candidly discusses her experiences with love, self-acceptance, and the complexities of coming out to her family.

Coming Out and Relationships: Annie reveals that she has known about her sexuality all her life but only recently felt comfortable embracing it fully. Her encounter with a woman whose dog bit her served as a catalyst for this realization. She shares her experiences with past relationships, highlighting the challenges and growth that came with accepting her true self.

Notable Quotes:
"I've known I've been gay my whole life... I fell in love with everybody... I have a giant crush on her." (11:44) — Annie
"When I told him I was gay, he said, 'Well, maybe a good thing, because I was always gonna be in love with you...'" (13:03) — Annie

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Family Dynamics and Acceptance

Annie discusses her family's reactions to her coming out, noting the varying degrees of acceptance. While her mother is fully supportive, her father struggles to understand and accept her identity, believing mistakenly that being gay is a choice.

Family Support: Annie expresses hope for her father’s eventual acceptance and shares the emotional toll of navigating familial relationships while staying true to herself.

Notable Quotes:
"My mom's very accepting. My dad is coming around, but not as accepting... He thinks being gay is a choice, and you can change." (13:36) — Annie
"I said, 'Dad, you can't change me. I'm perfect the way I am.'" (13:36) — Annie

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Professional Life and Future Aspirations

Returning to her professional life, Annie describes her current role at Rule of Thirds, a Japanese cuisine restaurant in Greenpoint. She speaks enthusiastically about her daily interactions with guests and her dream of expanding her horizons by opening a bed and breakfast.

Dreams and Aspirations: Annie envisions creating spaces where people feel connected and valued, much like her current work environment. Her dedication to her craft and her desire to foster meaningful connections underscore her commitment to the hospitality industry.

Notable Quotes:
"Bed and breakfast. The first restaurant I helped open in Charleston, seven rooms, a restaurant downstairs." (06:10) — Annie
"It's gonna be a nice chill Monday... I really get to slow down and connect with the guests." (15:01) — Annie

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Handling Emotions and Mental Health

Annie touches upon the emotional challenges she faces, including feelings of loneliness and anger. She emphasizes the importance of recognizing and naming these emotions to better understand and manage them.

Mental Health Insights: Through her candid discussion, Annie highlights the significance of self-awareness and the role of therapy in navigating complex emotions, particularly in the context of familial relationships and personal loss.

Notable Quotes:
"When I talk to my therapist sometimes about my dad's situation, I'm angry... What word did you say?" (15:30) — Annie
"I get lonely." (15:53) — Annie

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Closing Message: Spreading Kindness

As their walk concludes, Annie leaves a heartfelt message for Thoraya’s audience, urging kindness and understanding in a world that can often feel isolating and challenging.

Final Thoughts: Annie’s closing remarks resonate deeply, encapsulating the episode’s core message of human connection and compassion.

Notable Quote:
"Spread kindness. The world is a hard, hard, hard place to live... be kind." (16:17) — Annie

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Conclusion

"Can I Walk With You, Annie?" is a compelling episode that intertwines personal narratives with broader themes of acceptance, resilience, and the quest for meaningful connections. Through Annie’s story, listeners gain insight into the complexities of identity, the importance of community, and the enduring impact of kindness. Thoraya’s empathetic approach and the candid dialogue create an engaging and enriching listening experience, inviting audiences to reflect on their own journeys and the connections that shape them.

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Listen to the full episode on Can I Walk With You? to immerse yourself in more heartfelt conversations and inspiring stories from the streets of New York City.

Transcript

[A]

Should I ask her? Yeah. I'm not doing it. It always feels so weird when I'm, like, chasing someone from behind. There's like a 5 second max where if I'm chasing someone from behind and I haven't gotten their attention yet, I just feel too creepy and I just have to give up. Excuse me. Do you have a moment by any chance?

[B]

Sorry, I don't speak English.

[A]

Okay, that's all right. Thanks. Oh, shoot. I'm so sorry. Excuse me. No, that's all right. Thanks. Nice. Did you see me almost take out that dog? Excuse me.

[B]

Yeah?

[A]

Do you have a moment by any chance?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. Ask people if I could walk with them.

[B]

Sure. I'm just going to the bank.

[A]

Okay. That's my cousin, he's the cameraman.

[B]

For sure.

[A]

I'm not holding you up too much, am I?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay. All right, so. So put this in a pocket. Is it okay if I clip it on for you somewhere?

[B]

Mike check, one, two.

[A]

Good. Mic check, one, two. Mine, two. All right, cool. You said you're walking to the bank?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I can walk with you there?

[B]

For sure.

[A]

Okay, let's. Watch out. I think this car might be turning. Okay, I think we're good. Let's go.

[B]

Cool.

[A]

What's your name?

[B]

Annie.

[A]

Annie, I'm Thorayah.

[B]

Nice to meet you.

[A]

Nice to meet you, too. You were so, like, open and kind about it as soon as I came up to you.

[B]

Why? You know, I think you run into people for reasons at certain times. And I like to keep myself open for my eyes open anytime I walk and any opportunity or any people.

[A]

Are you from New York?

[B]

South Carolina.

[A]

So you're visiting or you live here?

[B]

I live here. I lived here for two years.

[A]

Okay. Can you tell us a little bit about you? What do you do? Who are you?

[B]

I manage a restaurant.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Nearby, rule of thirds. Moved here two years ago on a whim. Kind of just manifested it was unhappy at home. And somehow my dad's name is. And this office manager brother's name is. And they were playing golf and my dad was like, you two should meet. And so then she came into lineup at my restaurant in Charleston, and we were talking about what book I like to read. Setting the Table. And that's what it's called, Setting the Table. Okay, restaurant nerds. I'm a restaurant nerd. And then I packed my bags or came to Brooklyn to visit, and there was all these little signs. I saw a bar called Charleston. And I looked up to the bouncer and I go, why is this place Called Charleston. And he goes, what are you, some restaurant owner? Why do you want to know? I looked him dead ass in the eye and I go, I will be one day. So two months later. Yeah, I packed my bags and I moved here.

[A]

Was that, like. Was that, like, a big move for you? All right. Oh, yeah, we know he's with us. Thank you, though.

[B]

Yeah. I've never left. I've traveled a bunch, but I. I've never left Charleston, like, permanently moved somewhere. But I've. I feel like I've lived here my entire life.

[A]

It has a way of doing that, doesn't it? It just, like, sucks you in. It's so interesting.

[B]

My first two weeks I moved here. It's my last day of training, and I got bit in the face by a dog.

[A]

You got what?

[B]

Bit in the face by a dog in the face. I. I got to show you this picture.

[A]

Oh, my God. Here.

[B]

But still, New York will never scare me away.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

And I knew nobody. I was out two weeks. And the way people came together and these. I mean, I wasn't even on the floor yet. And I had gas donating.

[A]

Sorry, let's walk over. And you had what?

[B]

Gas Donating money for my gofundme I raised. Cause I didn't know what to do. I just moved here and. Ton of debt for those medical bills. And I don't know, I just saw. Everyone says New York, you know, hard place. But I've heard that people come together in moments of need. And it was just. I mean, I get goosebumps. It was the most beautiful thing. And I was like, you know what? There's. I'm staying here.

[A]

You're never leaving.

[B]

No. I mean, I keep saying five years, but I say that every single. Every time. Like, yeah, five years.

[A]

Five years. Can you tell us about why you love the restaurant business so much?

[B]

I think I've always had hospitality in my bones just from being in the South. My mom, there's four of us kids, always sat together to family dinner table. I love taking care of people. I. It brings me the utmost joy to look at somebody and see them. Like, I talk about it in lineup all the time. It's. You can see people, but it's about, like actively listening, seeing them and feeling them.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And I feel like I. I do that for people. I could tell you just gotta be kind to people. And everyone has their own going on, so it doesn't. Why be rude or mean, nasty. You don't know what the other person's going through. And they say managing long hours, not the best pay, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I treat every restaurant like it's my home. And when they step through that door, no matter which, even if I'm dining at somebody else's restaurant and guests come in, I will go out of my way to make them feel good too.

[A]

Wait, what's the name of the restaurant you work at?

[B]

Rule of thirds.

[A]

Rule of thirds. Where is that?

[B]

Right in Greenpoint.

[A]

Okay. What kind of food?

[B]

Japanese cuisine.

[A]

Okay. I should. Should we. Should we come? Should me and my cousin come?

[B]

For sure.

[A]

So what's your dream for your restaurant?

[B]

Bed and breakfast.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The first restaurant I helped open in Charleston, seven in rooms, a restaurant downstairs. And I had never been, I never worked in the restaurant industry before. I lost my twin brother when I was in college, sophomore year. Of course, you know, my whole world was turned upside down. And he was. He is an angel. Blonde hair, blue eyes, just like peacemaker of the family. The kindest person I've ever met. And when that happened, I just became so frustrated. I think Charleston is growing. There's a lot of growth to still be done there. But I just like felt wasn't connecting with people. You know, they're out drinking, gossiping, and I just felt this thing in my body, like there's something more. So I googled anxiety and retreat and I booked a one way ticket to India and did a 10 day silent retreat called Vipassana. No reading, no writing, no eye contact. I slept basically on a stone with like a little blanket. And I was losing my mind so much I was making tick marks in the cement. And after that I backpacked by myself with no idea where I was going the next day for a month in India, a month in Thailand, a month in Bali, a month in Australia. And then there were all these fires going on in Australia and I decided to come home. And then Covid hit and I found this couple and they're like, we like your energy. I like Yalls energy. And I opened up this restaurant with them and.

[A]

Oh wow.

[B]

It's called the Post House. It's a very special place. I chased down a guest the other day and the staff was laughing at me because I dropped my bag. I'll be right back. I gotta go chase down this guest. I was running through the street. There's this woman, a very unique person. She comes to the restaurant once a week and I think.

[A]

This is still in Charleston.

[B]

This is a rule of thirds now.

[A]

Oh, okay, okay.

[B]

And I don't think there's some things that would not be an ideal guess. Maybe it doesn't tip as well. Just strange behavior. Leaves for a long time, comes back, but no judgment. And I looked at the staff and I said, yes, you guys might be a little bit frustrated, but look at it in a way of. We provide a place where she probably doesn't feel comfortable going to anywhere else, but she keeps coming back to us every single week. I did have to have a tough conversation with her one time. There was something that was not kind of shady that went on. And I had a very professional, kind conversation with her and then didn't see her for a while. And it really bothered me. And then that day I saw her, I recognized the back of her and I ran after her and I said, hi. And this woman does not speak one word. She's never talked before, barely anything.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And when I ran into her on the street, I mean, you could. I used to join her eyes. And I said, I missed you. Like, I've been thinking about you. And I hope our discussion did not stray you away.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I just want you to know we really look forward to seeing you each week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

She came back that night.

[A]

Oh, stop.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want me to hold that for a while? Are you getting tired?

[B]

I talk on my hands.

[A]

Have you always been like this?

[B]

I have. I truly think my brother passing. I mean, we're the same. I think we're the same. I'm that person. But I was so distracted and caught up in the wrong things. And I'm so grateful for Michael's life. And yes, it sucks that he's gone, but I would not be where I am. I would not have this perspective if he didn't pass away.

[A]

Interesting.

[B]

And I feel I know he's with me. And I'm just grateful I get to share my story. Because people, when they hear that, why are you so. How are you so positive? Or how are you? What's wrong with you? And I just. I want them to understand how precious life is and how precious people are.

[A]

You just, like, give up on the next level. Energy. Like.

[B]

Well, it was weird the other day. I was out and with my friend, and this guy just looks at me, and I don't know if I make eye contact with him or what it was. And he just goes, are you a witch? Like your energy. And I truly just think I genuineness. And that energy radiates.

[A]

Yeah. You could tell a lot about someone by not all the time, but by just looking at them and looking them in the eyes. You Know.

[B]

Yeah. But, well, if you want to hear another funny thing about me, so. Another reason I'm so grateful that I moved here is I have. I've known I've been gay my whole life. Deep, deep, deep down. The dog. The owner of the dog who bit me. I. I didn't fall in love. I fell in love with everybody. That's sometimes a problem, but I. I had a giant crush on her.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Even when her dog bit my face and I go, holy. Like, I am gay.

[A]

That was, like, your realization.

[B]

Yeah. And I've never been happier in my entire life.

[A]

Are you with someone now?

[B]

I dated somebody, then we broke up. I'm just. Dating's hard.

[A]

When you were, like, suppressing it. Did you date men?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I actually saw my ex last night, and we're close. I dated it's, like, three men in my life and dated them for a long period of time.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I. It was always. I mean, I was creating a lot of the problems.

[A]

Soling. Audio's out. Audio went out.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

No, I don't have any more batteries, actually. Do you mind if we hold off on the conversation? Find some batteries?

[B]

I have, like, 15 minutes.

[A]

Okay, we'll find something quick, at least. Maybe we could, like, wrap it up. Mic check. Mic check. Mic check.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

You ready? You good? Okay. All right. So you were saying you saw your ex?

[B]

Yeah. Hung out with him yesterday. He said. When I told him I was gay, he said, well, maybe a good thing, because I was always gonna be in love with you, but I have the utmost. I will always love him, and I will always love it.

[A]

That is, like, the best kind of closure for someone to just know there's absolutely no chance.

[B]

Yeah. And, you know, it's. If I. If I could love you, I would. I mean, I love you, but, you know, in that way, I can't.

[A]

Yeah. How do your family take it?

[B]

My mom's very accepting. My dad is coming around, but not as accepting. Has said some hurtful things. He thinks. I think he thinks being gay is a choice, and you can change. And I said, dad, you can't change me. And I think I'm perfect. I don't want to change.

[A]

Yeah. Hopefully your dad will come around too. The people I interviewed or I walked with right before you was, like, two older gentlemen. They were gay too. They weren't together, but they were gay. I asked him, like, what it was like for them coming out, and it was so interesting the way one of the men worded it. He's like, well, I lost My father. But I won my mother. So what's next for you? What are you doing today?

[B]

Work.

[A]

Okay. Oh, you're going to the restaurant.

[B]

Do my bank deposit and I go into work. It's gonna be a nice chill Monday. I always say, anybody wants to come visit Monday. Tuesday nights are my favorite because I. It's not as busy as the weekend, so I really get to slow down and connect with the guests and like, my God, love. It's like a dance in the whole restaurant. My boss laughs and says, I twirl, twirl around because it's talking to table to table.

[A]

And it's not hard to imagine you doing that. Just like, woo.

[B]

I get excited, genuinely get excited to experience every day.

[A]

Do you ever get sad?

[B]

I do, I do. I get tapped out. Definitely. My social battery kind of. Yeah. Is on zero. And those days I just lay in bed and kind of edge out.

[A]

But you still wouldn't define it as sad. Like, you don't.

[B]

No, no, because sad is such a broad word. Like when I talk to my therapist sometimes about my dad's situation, I'm angry. She's like, okay, well, that's angry. Sad. Those are such big umbrella terms. Like what? What really? Are you, like, frustrated? Like, name some other other words with it. What were not bad. What word did you say?

[A]

Sad.

[B]

Sad. So I get. I mean, there's lonely. I get lonely.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That'S my stop over there.

[A]

It is. Okay. Well, thank you. I like to end up by having the person leave a message for my audience.

[B]

Spread kindness.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The world is a hard, hard, hard place to live. And I think humans, we all just want to be seen, heard, and have connection with something. And it can be a lonely place. I just think be kind.

[A]

Okay. There you go. Thank you so much.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[A]

I'll grab the mic for you. Okay. Here you go. That was so much fun. Yeah, it was. I really enjoyed that city. All right, thanks. Have a good one.