"I came to NYC to find love but all I found was hookups..."

Summary

Podcast Summary: Can I Walk With You?
Episode: "I came to NYC to find love but all I found was hookups..."
Host: Thoraya
Release Date: August 7, 2025

---

Introduction

In the premiere episode of Season One of Can I Walk With You?, host Thoraya takes to the bustling streets of New York City—celebrated as America’s most walkable metropolis—to engage in candid and spontaneous conversations with strangers. This episode, titled "I came to NYC to find love but all I found was hookups...", delves deep into the complexities of seeking meaningful relationships in a city synonymous with fast-paced living and hookup culture.

---

Guest Introduction: Marcia's Background

Thoraya begins her walk-and-talk interview with Marcia, a vibrant individual with a multifaceted identity. Marcia introduces herself as a Jamaican transgender woman and a fashion designer residing in Brooklyn.

"My name is Marcia. I'm Jamaican. I'm trans. I'm a fashion designer." [01:30]

Marcia explains her passion for fashion, emphasizing her personal style as an expression of self rather than adherence to trends or budgets.

"People just tend to like the way I dress. Like, I dress off my own expression. I just have my own style." [01:46]

---

The Search for Love in NYC

Marcia shares her initial motivation for moving to New York City: the pursuit of love. However, her experience contrasts sharply with her expectations.

"I came to New York to find love, but all I found was what New York has to offer. Hookups. That's it." [03:19]

She elaborates on how the city's fast-paced environment and abundant dating options have made it challenging to forge lasting relationships, leading to a prevalence of short-term connections over meaningful bonds.

---

Hookup Culture's Impact on Relationships

The conversation shifts to the pervasive hookup culture in NYC and its implications for those seeking genuine love.

"With this new day and age, all these dating apps, the Internet, it's so easy to meet people. It's so easy for everybody to get hookups. Like, nobody has time to get to know people." [04:33]

Marcia criticizes the superficial nature of modern dating, where convenience often trumps depth, making it difficult to establish long-term connections.

---

The Concept of Soulmates vs. Realistic Relationship Building

Thoraya and Marcia delve into the romantic notion of soulmates, questioning its validity in today's dating landscape.

"Our whole life we've been taught there's a soulmate out there for us, and we're gonna meet them." [07:11]

Marcia challenges this idea, suggesting that the expectation of finding a soulmate can be disillusioning. She points out that many relationships formed in high-pressure environments like work or school are based on prolonged interaction rather than chance encounters.

"We have to get to know people for a long period of time. People that went to school together took three, four years getting to know each other." [08:02]

---

Shifting Goals: From Seeking Love to Financial Stability

In a candid admission, Marcia reveals a shift in her priorities from seeking love to desiring financial security through relationships.

"I'm holding onto the hope that I find a rich man that sweep me off my feet. I don't want love anymore. I want money." [10:17]

She articulates a pragmatic approach to relationships, viewing financial stability as a consolation for the elusive search for love.

"If I can't find love, that's a good consolation prize, don't you think?" [10:17]

---

Navigating Life Without Defined Dreams

Marcia discusses her current life philosophy, emphasizing flexibility and resilience over rigid goal-setting.

"I'm just winging it because you can wake up to, like you can have one set path, life just makes a whole U turn on you and you have to just make another whole earlier in life." [12:41]

She advocates for taking life one day at a time, prioritizing happiness and mental well-being amidst unpredictability.

---

Final Advice and Closing Thoughts

Before concluding their walk, Marcia offers heartfelt advice to listeners, encouraging perseverance and gratitude.

"Don't give up on your dream. Life is still there to live. You could be down today and up tomorrow. So don't give up." [14:04]

She emphasizes the importance of appreciating what one has and recognizing that others may be facing greater challenges.

"No matter what situation you're in, there's still people out there who are doing worse than you. So always remember to give thanks once you have life. That's the greatest." [14:38]

---

Notable Quotes

• "I came to New York to find love, but all I found was what New York has to offer. Hookups. That's it." — Marcia [03:19]

• "Our whole life we've been taught there's a soulmate out there for us, and we're gonna meet them." — Thoraya [07:11]

• "I'm holding onto the hope that I find a rich man that sweep me off my feet. I don't want love anymore. I want money." — Marcia [10:17]

• "Don't give up on your dream. Life is still there to live. You could be down today and up tomorrow. So don't give up." — Marcia [14:04]

---

Conclusion

This episode of Can I Walk With You? offers a poignant exploration of the challenges of finding love in a city renowned for its vibrant yet often impersonal social scene. Through Marcia's honest reflections, listeners gain insight into the emotional landscape of modern relationships, the impact of hookup culture, and the evolving nature of personal aspirations. Thoraya's engaging interview style fosters a meaningful dialogue, making the episode a compelling listen for anyone navigating the complexities of love and life in New York City.

Transcript

[A]

Excuse me. Do you have a moment, by any chance? Do you have a moment, by any chance? I do this online series podcast where I ask people if I could walk with them. Is it cool if I walk with you and have a conversation? Let me wait for my cousin, too. He's the cameraman. Yeah. Behind us. So, yeah, that's my cousin and then a second cameraman, too, on the bigger camera. But would you be able to. Yeah. Let me just wrap it around here. Thanks for doing this. Sure. You seem a little hesitant still.

[B]

I mean, I was gonna say no, but I looked at you. You look clean.

[A]

Thank you. Can I clip this on?

[B]

Yeah, sure. All right.

[A]

Which way are you headed?

[B]

I'm going to the dmv. What way is it? Dmv?

[A]

I think it's down that way, but do you mind if we do a loop? I don't mind. The conversation will be longer.

[B]

All right. Going to do a loop. What's the loop? Go all the way around.

[A]

If. I mean I'm down. I'd love to walk with you for, like, at least 15 minutes if you're down.

[B]

That's a long walk. That's a long walk.

[A]

Okay. As long as you can, but, yeah. What's your name?

[B]

Marcia.

[A]

Marcia.

[B]

Nice to meet you.

[A]

Nice to meet you. Thanks for doing this. You said you're headed to the dmv?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And you're okay with me walking with you there?

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Taking a longer route? Maybe.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

Can you tell me a little bit about yourself?

[B]

My name is Marcia. I'm Jamaican. I'm trans.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

What else do you want to know? I'm a fashion designer.

[A]

A fashion designer?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And what made you get into that? And a stylist.

[B]

People just tend to like the way I dress. Like, I dress off my own expression. I just have my own style. Personally, for me, I just like what looks good on me, whether it be expensive or cheap.

[A]

Have you always been like that?

[B]

Yeah, I guess. Earlier. Earlier through the years, I was more extravagant. I think I've kind of toned down a little bit.

[A]

Why'd you tone it down?

[B]

I don't know. Sometimes I think simpler is better.

[A]

That's funny, because the opposite is happening for me. I've been pretty simple my whole life, and now I'm trying to do more bold things in my outfit.

[B]

I'd wear that.

[A]

You would?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. That's a compliment then. Cause you have a good taste.

[B]

The New York street style. Yeah. You're rocking it. But it's not that cold today, though.

[A]

I know. I had to wear it, though.

[B]

Where are you from?

[A]

San Diego.

[B]

Okay. How are you liking it out here?

[A]

I love it.

[B]

Okay, don't let me take over the conversation. No, please be like I'm the one interviewing you.

[A]

So have you been here? You said you're Jamaican.

[B]

No, I wasn't born here. I came here 2019. Yeah.

[A]

And what part of New York do you live in?

[B]

Right here in Brooklyn.

[A]

What's something I wouldn't believe about you?

[B]

I've been single all my life.

[A]

Your whole life? Wait, that is.

[B]

I've only been in, like, one relationship, and that was years ago. You know dating in New York is horrible, right?

[A]

Is it?

[B]

Yeah. I came to New York to find love, but all I found was what New York has to offer. Hookups. That's it.

[A]

Why did you stay?

[B]

Then again, because, like, New York is the closest. I think New York is the only place in America that can make you feel Caribbean. Like, I'm close to home, if you understand. Like, I can get Jamaican. As I said, I wasn't Jamaican. I can get Jamaican. Food, culture, clothing. Like. Yeah. So that's why I stay.

[A]

Are you still working for love?

[B]

Hope it finds me, but I'm not looking.

[A]

Okay. Okay.

[B]

Because I think that's a lost cause.

[A]

No, don't say that.

[B]

Do you have love?

[A]

No, I don't.

[B]

Okay. Have you ever been in love?

[A]

That's a good question. I don't think so.

[B]

Really? Yeah. Okay, so I'm not the only one there. Well, I have been in love.

[A]

I still have hope, though. I still have hope. In love.

[B]

Down the block this way. Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, I've met people that I would want to try with. But again, with this new day and age, all these dating apps, the Internet, it's so easy to meet people. It's so easy to. You see a pretty girl here, you walk down the street to see another. Like, yeah, it's so easy for everybody to get hookups. Like, nobody has time to get to know people.

[A]

I mean, I've interviewed a lot of people, and a lot of people have said that they move here to find. Find love.

[B]

Worst place to move to find love. Guys, don't. Don't. You'll have more. I think you would have more luck in. In smaller cities.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, where there's not so much people. So somebody find you. It's like, oh, I found a rare gem. Like, but here you got baddies on every corner. Like, yes, you can get a hookup on the train. This is New York.

[A]

That's kind of. That's so interesting. Everyone comes here for love, and then they just get sucked into hookup culture.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

So you said you're open to it, but you're not looking anymore. You want it to find you.

[B]

I. Deep down, I hope it finds me, but I've kind of lost hope. Deep down, I know that's something I will like. But is that really possible, though? Like, soulmates? Like, is it just something that we were taught growing up? Is it a stereotype to find your other half live happily ever after or. Because most. The most of the people that I know who are in relationships, they're miserable. They are. They're miserable and it's toxic, and they fight and. And I'm like, if I'm gonna do a relationship, I don't want to do all of that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I want the whole lovey dovey butterfly. Like, that's what I want.

[A]

Yeah. You want the honeymoon face forever.

[B]

Exactly. Nobody's perfect.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We're not gonna always have good days. It's not like we're not gonna fuss or fight or do any of that. But I think for the majority, it should be good times or even the bad times. That's why we're together, to try to help each other be good. Somebody to bring you up. So, again, I just think it's a lost cause.

[A]

The soulmate thing you said, though, it's funny you say that, because just yesterday I was talking to someone about it. I was like, our whole life we've been taught there's a soulmate out there for us, and we're gonna meet them.

[B]

Crossing the street while we're traveling. But, like, they're gonna rescue your prince Charming, but most people marry the person.

[A]

They went to school with, the person they work with. So I don't know, it kind of made me sad, but it kind of is beautiful too, that I think anyone could fall in love with. You could fall in love with anyone if you just get to know them, you know?

[B]

Can you?

[A]

I think so. Not, like, not anyone, but, like, I mean, what does it say that most people. What does it say that most people marry their co workers or, like, their classmates? It's because they sat next to them for long enough, you know?

[B]

True.

[A]

So not anyone, but, like, the selection.

[B]

High school sweethearts.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then again, that's the thing. We have to get to know people for a long period of time. People that went to school together took three, three, four years getting to know each other. Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[A]

If you get to know anyone, if you give. Not anyone but if you give someone you're interested a solid. Are we going the right way? Damn me. Okay, my theory now is. And I don't know if it's a. If it's a good theory or not, but I think it's a more real theory than a soulmate, is that if you're interested in someone and you give them a solid chance for long enough, you could fall in love.

[B]

I guess you can fall in love in a day.

[A]

I don't. Can you. It's not gonna last.

[B]

Or is it infatuation?

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[B]

It's infatuation.

[A]

Yeah, I think so.

[B]

I don't know, because love is. Love hurts. Like, if you think your partner's out cheating or lying to you or. And it hurts, it's supposed to make you feel hurt. Like, you're supposed to feel jealous. You're supposed to feel protective.

[A]

Like, so you think if someone you're in love with is not. Doesn't have the ability to hurt you or make you jealous, then you don't love them? Um.

[B]

That'S a good question. No.

[A]

No, you're. No, you're not in love with them.

[B]

No, you're not in love with them. In New York, dating a lot or hooking up a lot, you tend to kind of learn these things and hear different people's experiences. Just like the interview you are doing. Hear different people and how they look at things for different people. It's different. A man would think that he can do it and it means nothing because he doesn't have feeling for the person he cheats with. But if his girl does it, it hurts him, right? The person he loves doing it hurts him. So, like, this whole. Like, it's a whole lot. It's a whole lot.

[A]

Now I get why you're kind of losing hope in it a little bit.

[B]

Yeah, I mean, I am.

[A]

I still think you should hold on to the hope.

[B]

I'm holding on right now. I'm holding onto the hope that I find a rich man that sweep me off my feet. I don't want love anymore. I want money. I want money. So any rich guys that sees this, I'm looking to be spoiled. Like, really spoiled. Yeah, I'll work with that. If I can't find love, that's a good consolation prize, don't you think?

[A]

I think so, yeah.

[B]

I mean, finding a daddy who just takes care of all my wants and my needs.

[A]

Actually, I take it back. I think you should still look for love.

[B]

No, no, again, as I just said, Love hurts. Love hurts. It does.

[A]

You say you're just protecting yourself, and.

[B]

I'm just protecting myself. And I'm just protecting my heart because I don't want a broken heart.

[A]

So you think when girls say. Because I've heard a lot of girls get to that point, you know what? I give up on love. Just give me a rich man. You think that's just them protecting themselves?

[B]

Exactly, exactly. Because you can. Again, the dynamic between men and women is so different. How they view things is so different. As I just said to you earlier, a man can 10, 15 women and still go to his girl. If his girl one dude on him, it's like, yeah, it's World War 3. So I guess the dynamic is different. You can stay down with a guy, help him come up 2, 3, 4, 5 years, and once he gets up and start making it, he leaves you for somebody else just like that. It's like nothing to them. Men are easier to suppress their feelings and not show their feelings or emotion different from women. So a woman's gonna say, all right, then I prefer, get somebody who can. Cause we have real bills out here. I know that this is not for love. This is just for finances. I can buy my own happiness. Because they say money can't buy happiness, but it can buy some or it can buy Chanel, and that can make you happy.

[A]

Even though I get what you're saying, I think that I still. I mean, I mean, if we gave up on hope completely, then what would.

[B]

We all be doing, you know, again, Change the dynamic. I've changed mine. Yeah, I've changed mine.

[A]

Aside from love, what are some of your dreams? Can you tell me a little bit more about you aside from that?

[B]

My dreams? Ah, that's a good question. I can't answer that. I don't think I have no dreams right now.

[A]

No dreams right now.

[B]

Right now. The way life's been lifing, sometimes I'm just winging it. I'm just winging it because you can wake up to, like you can have one set path, goal be working toward, and life just makes a whole U turn on you and you have to just make another hole earlier in life. I usually plan everything and how I want to be this and by this age. Right now, I'm just smooth sailing through life trying to be happy, trying to stay focused, trying not to make nothing get me depressed or get me down. I'm just winging life, basically. Taking it how it comes, one day at a time. That's all you can hope for.

[A]

It's more peaceful that way.

[B]

Yeah, it's more peaceful that way for me, actually. You have some people who like to pencil things down blank. Me, I just. Right now, I'm just sailing it through. Hopefully it's smooth all the way.

[A]

Do you have any advice for my audience? Like, any last messages?

[B]

Any advice for your audience? Don't give up on your dream. Life is still. Life is still there to live. You could be down today and up tomorrow. So don't give up. Don't let whatever is happening, happening around you. Block out all the noise and just keep going. Tomorrow might be a better day. And no matter what situation you're in, there's still people out there who are doing worse than you. So always remember to give thanks once you have life. That's the greatest.

[A]

There you go. Thank you so much. You're going to. What else are you doing today? You're just going to the dmv?

[B]

I went to the dmv. Then I'm gonna go back to Apple to pick my phone up.

[A]

Okay. Well, I really appreciate you walking with me. I hope it was fun for you. I had a lot of fun.

[B]

Yes, it was. It's my first time doing one of those. You gotta have to give me your handle so I can see when everything is done.

[A]

This is my name everywhere. Thoraya.

[B]

Somebody love comics because that's like, Thor. Oh, that's your birth name?

[A]

That's my birth name, yeah.

[B]

Thoraya. Was it after Thor?

[A]

No, it wasn't. It means, like, it's the name of a star. Oh, yeah.

[B]

And you are a star.

[A]

Thank you. So are you.

[B]

Yeah. That's a unique name. I like it. Okay. It was very nice meeting you.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Keep up the sweet street sag. I think it really suits you.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

Be bold. Try different things. I mean. Yeah. Stand out in the crowd.

[A]

That was so much fun.

[B]

You can't keep it.

[A]

I loved how hesitant you were. And then I love that you still did it. That made me so happy. Thank you.

[B]

Have a great day.

[A]

You too. Bye. Thank you.