Podcast Summary: Can I Walk With You?
Episode: “This is what it actually feels like to have schizophrenia…”
Host: Thoraya
Date: October 2, 2025
Location: New York City
Overview
In the season opener of "Can I Walk With You?", Thoraya invites a Brooklyn native (referred to as B) for a walk through NYC. The conversation unfolds spontaneously as they stroll, focusing on themes of mental health—particularly schizophrenia—personal history, coping mechanisms, and the expression of individuality. B generously shares insights into his lived experience with schizophrenia, memories of his family, fashion choices, and lessons for young people.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
Meeting and Starting the Walk
- Thoraya approaches B, who’s open to the walk and conversation ([00:00]).
- They quickly establish a comfortable, friendly rapport through compliments and small talk.
Friendship and Social Experiences
- B reflects on having many acquaintances but mostly keeping to himself:
“Most of us struggle to just have one good friend. One or two good friends. ...I've always had friends... but I've been mostly to myself.” ([00:42])
Walks as Therapy, Living with Schizophrenia
- When Thoraya asks what B has learned from his long walks:
- He candidly discusses his diagnosis:
“I'm paranoid schizophrenic, but I've never been arrested. I don't attack people.” ([04:01])
- Walking is therapeutic:
“It's therapeutic. ...As long as I'm not being attacked by malicious, vicious voices or things, then that makes me want to go in the house.” ([04:01], [04:35])
- Music also plays a role, sometimes helping to mask “bad talk,” but at times not even headphones help ([05:01]).
- He candidly discusses his diagnosis:
The Experience of Schizophrenia
- B shares internal nuances of his condition:
- He used to struggle to distinguish between voices, imagination, and confusion; medication improved this ([05:27]).
- Uses a powerful analogy:
“There are always what I call the 30% who are always in my corner... The 70% dominated. ...It's like a band, like an orchestra... But you gotta be careful with the flute because it pierces through all that sound.” ([05:31]–[06:51]) “The 30% is the resistance, you know.” ([07:30])
On Stigma and the Diversity of Schizophrenia
- B emphasizes that he cannot speak for all people with schizophrenia:
“I understand it's seven different forms. ...I can't speak for other schizophrenics. It's been a trying time. ...I haven't hurt myself. I tried hurting myself in the past, but that was over different things.” ([07:53]–[08:39])
Personal Style as Expression and Rebellion
- His colorful, distinctive outfits began around 2019, coinciding with his mother entering a nursing home:
-
Dressing differently became a form of self-expression, tied to a feeling of new freedom ([10:29]–[13:00]):
“I felt freedom because she had a heavy hand on me throughout my life. ...It's about keeping you safe.” ([13:00], [13:49])
-
Childhood experiences of being “put in a box,” as well as memories of discrimination and shyness at school, influenced his desire to express himself ([14:40]–[16:20]):
“It was a soft rebellion, not a hard rebellion. Let me wear these clothes, you know, I'm not wearing things to intentionally offend people.” ([15:18])
-
Reflections on Education, Regret, and Advice for Young People
- B shares school and university experiences, the importance of not letting pride stop you from getting help:
“Don't do like I did. ... I didn't take the remedial courses. ...You gotta get over that.” ([19:29]–[20:39])
- His main advice: Take remedial courses and don't be too proud to seek support ([20:42]).
Coping and Comfort Items
- B shows Thoraya his stuffed animals (“bears”), which he carries for comfort, and stresses self-awareness:
“It's just a form of, like, a little buddy. But I know it's a toy.” ([21:20])
Heartfelt Farewells and Mutual Admiration
- The episode ends with warm mutual compliments and lighthearted exchanges about nicknames and viral fame ([24:04], [24:12]):
- B: “Makes the old boy feel good. ... Makes the old boy feel young and relevant.” ([24:14]–[24:18])
- Thoraya: "You are young and relevant always." ([24:21])
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
On Friendship & Isolation
- “Most of us struggle to just have one good friend. One or two good friends.” ([00:42])
Describing Schizophrenia
- “I'm paranoid schizophrenic, but I’ve never been arrested. I don’t attack people.” ([04:01])
- “I couldn’t tell the difference between the voices in my imagination. They were blending together... it fit with medication.” ([05:31])
- “There are always what I call the 30% who are always in my corner... It’s like a band, like an orchestra.” ([06:42])
- “The 30% is the resistance, you know.” ([07:30])
On Personal Growth and Rebellion
- “I felt freedom because she had a heavy hand on me throughout my life... It's about keeping you safe.” ([13:00], [13:49])
- “It was a soft rebellion, not a hard rebellion... Let me wear these clothes.” ([15:18])
On Advice for Young People
- “Don't do like I did. ... I didn't take the remedial courses ... You're proud. You gotta get over that.” ([19:29], [20:39])
A Sweet Goodbye
- “Makes the old boy feel good. Makes the old boy feel young and relevant.” ([24:14]–[24:18])
- Thoraya: "You are young and relevant always." ([24:21])
Noteworthy Timestamps (MM:SS)
- [04:01] – Schizophrenia diagnosis and therapeutic value of walking
- [05:31] – Voices, imagination, medication experience
- [06:42] – Orchestra analogy of voices
- [07:53] – Addressing schizophrenia stigma and personal experience
- [10:29] – Fashion choice origins and connection to family
- [13:00] – Personal freedom post-mother’s nursing home
- [15:18] – Soft rebellion and importance of personal expression
- [19:29] – Parting advice for young listeners about seeking support
- [21:20] – The comfort of stuffed animals
- [24:14] – Exchanging mutual compliments and validating presence
Tone and Atmosphere
The tone is warmly conversational, dotted with humor, poignant anecdotes, and respect. Both Thoraya and B approach sensitive topics with candor, compassion, and mutual curiosity. B’s openness about his mental health, sense of style, and challenges is both disarming and enlightening, making the episode a heartfelt and honest portrait of resilience and individuality.
Closing Reflection
This episode provides an intimate, street-level look at what living with schizophrenia can feel like, beyond stereotypes or clinical labels. Through candid storytelling and gentle wisdom, B offers not just a glimpse into his world, but advice and encouragement for all—reminding listeners to accept themselves, seek support, and walk their own unique path.