Transcript
Natasha (0:00)
All right, welcome back, Canal Street Dreams. This is. This is going to be a bit more of a personal, vulnerable, revealing episode. But, like, I'm not going to over position it. I will just say that, you know, when we plan our episodes, we always talk to Chris in the chat. It's just me, Natasha, Chris. And this week something came up, and Chris basically asked if I listened to a certain podcast hosted by someone who I'm a really, really big fan of and love. And my response was just like, yo, I love that dude. I adored that dude for, like, decades of my life. But no, I don't listen to the POD because I think that it just, like, gets me back into this, like, young bro mindset. Like a bit of a just like, yes, about me kind of mindset. And while I appreciate, like, how much that person's work did for me and inspired me, like, I have become a lot more responsible about what I watch, what I listen to, what's in my brain and what's outside of my brain. And, like, it started a big conversation.
Chris (1:11)
Yeah.
Uncle (1:12)
Yeah.
Chris (1:12)
Where did it go from there?
Natasha (1:14)
Well, I mean, I think it then started to percolate in my head, like, the idea. So on the deepest level, when I was a kid, I was very interested in reading philosophy about things like John Locke, Tabula Rasa. And his idea was like, everyone is a blank slate. And then philosophy about, like, the essential self. And because I grew up in a family where I definitely thought my dad was a bad dude, for a lot of my life, I was like, well, if there's an essential self and I'm descended from this dude who I've seen do really bad things, am I essentially like a bad dude? You know, fair.
Uncle (1:59)
Fair to, like, assume that as a child?
Natasha (2:02)
Yeah. And I really struggled with the idea of an essential self because there were so many philosophers that believed in it. And I also, like, didn't fit in my community and I wasn't who my mom wanted me to be. And I was just like, what if my essential self is just ass? Like, complete ass? And it wasn't until my 30s, I would say, like late 30s, that I genuinely started to believe, like, it doesn't matter who your parents are. It doesn't matter where you come from. You have volition, you have choice. You have the independence to be the best version of yourself that you want to be. And it's actually your responsibility to be the best person that you can be. And, you know, not to gas you, but when I met you, I could tell you really love me for me. Despite all of my flaws and you committed to working on it with me. And, and you were there for me. Like, you never just left me for dead. And I think you were the first person to be like, yo, these things about you, they like, really suck. They really bother me, but I still love you.
