
This week on Case Closed, Mr. Chameleon starts things off with The Case Of The Dead Woman's Eyes, from July 21, 1948. (30:12) We conclude this week with Death On The Doorstep, from Crime Does Not Pay. That story aired February 20, 1950. https://traffic.libsyn.com/forcedn/e55e1c7a-e213-4a20-8701-21862bdf1f8a/CaseClosed933.mp3 Download CaseClosed933 | Subscribe | Spotify | Support Case Closed
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Narrator
This is Case Closed. One hour of mystery and crime from the golden age of radio. Every Wednesday@ Relicradio.com Our first story comes from Mr. Chameleon. This week we'll hear the Case of the Dead Woman's Eyes. That story aired July 21, 1948. After that it's Crime Does Not Pay and Death on the Doorstep. That story is from February 20, 1950.
Announcer
Tonight we present the famous Mr. Chameleon of Central Headquarters in his most famous cases of crime and murder, brought to you by the makers of Bayer aspirin. For those who do not know who Mr. Chameleon is, we give a quick sketch of his character. Born of a well to do family and a college man, he tried from childhood to live up to the name he bore Chameleon by taking on the color of whatever situation in which he found himself appearing in endless guises, finally entering the police force where he became known as Chameleon, the Man of many faces. The underworld's most dreaded man. Throughout this series, the listener will invariably know who Mr. Chameleon is, no matter in which disguise he appears. But the criminal he's tracking seldom does. Tonight we give you Mr. Chameleon and the Case of the Dead Woman's Eyes. Our story opens in the ornate drawing room of the Walters mansion. A monumental pile of stone in the East 60s. And despite the summer heat, the room is cool and shadowy. So cool that Mrs. Walters, middle aged patrician, shivers a little. Or could it be from anger? Anger and a strange fear which shows in her voice as she says to the person across from her, I can't.
Mr. Chameleon
Believe that you of all people would do this to me.
Mrs. Walters
My husband trusted you and so did I. And now I find that you've been stealing from me. Don't deny it.
Mr. Chameleon
You've been stealing. Oh, really.
Mrs. Walters
This makes me ill. Where are those soda mint tablets? The ones you gave me the other day?
Mr. Chameleon
Oh, there on the mantle. Give them to me, please. Thank you.
Mrs. Walters
They always help.
Mr. Chameleon
That's queer.
Mrs. Walters
They taste so bitter. What have you given me? What have you given me? Wait. Help me. Help.
Mr. Chameleon
Mrs. Walters.
Mrs. Walters
Mrs. Walters, answer me.
Mr. Chameleon
Mrs. Walters.
Mrs. Walters
Mrs. Noel, what's the matter? What is it?
Mr. Chameleon
Why did you mother. Oh, Miss Phyllis. Don't look.
Mrs. Walters
Please don't look. Her face.
Mr. Chameleon
Miss Phyllis, I'm afraid your mother is dead.
Announcer
And now at Central Headquarters, in the office of the Commissioner of Police, with him is the famous Mr. Chameleon, the man of many faces. The underworld's most feared man.
Mr. Chameleon
Hello, Commissioner. You want to see me? Yes, Chameleon. I have some news for you. Oh? Bad, no doubt. Bad for Mrs. Walters. Mrs. Harrison P. Walters? Dead. Committed suicide. What? I can't believe that. Is that your considered judgment? Well, it's my unconsidered judgment based on number one. I saw just last night at the St. Regis Hotel with a daughter and a Mr. Lucas. I went over to her table. She seemed perfectly healthy, perfectly happy. Go on. You said that was reason number one. Well, there is no reason number two. Good Lord, Commissioner, that woman had everything. She was on top of the pile. How'd she do it? Poison. It seems for some time she'd been carrying these pills around with her that everyone thought was soda mints. Turned out they weren't. Who found the body? Her housekeeper, Mrs. Newell. She heard her cry out. When she reached her, she was dead and alone in the room. What else but suicide? Funny, I've known so many of them. Neurotics, potential suicides. I would swear that Mrs. Walters. That she would never give in to the particular kind of despair that leads to suicide. Well, get over there, will you, Dave Arnold's already there. But you know these people socially. Sort of circulate among them, you know, unobtrusively. Sort of take on their coloring. Hmm? You mean live up to my name? Chameleon. All right, Commissioner. You know something? It is now my considered judgment that Mrs. Harrison P. Walters did not commit suicide. Hello. Detective Sergeant Dave Arnold. Dave to you, Mr. Chameleon. I thought you'd be along. Some swell place, this, huh? How's it going? Open and shut case of simple suicide. You want to look at the body? Mm. Of course, Dave. Violent death is seldom simple. Oh, wait just a moment. I want to speak to the young daughter. Miss Walters. Miss walters. Yes?
Mrs. Walters
Oh, Mr. Chameleon. I heard you might be here. But why? Why did they have to send for you?
Mr. Chameleon
They always send for Mr. Chameleon, darling. How do you do, sir? I'm Arthur Lucas. Yes, I remember. We met last night. Yes. I didn't realize at the time you were the famous detective. Well, that's because I'm rather. Well, let's be charitable and call it nondescript. On the contrary, I'd say you're most distinguished looking, Mr. Chameleon. This is a frightful tragedy. Yes, frightful. I was most shocked when I heard about your mother, Ms. Walters.
Mrs. Walters
I know. It's so awful to think she wanted to die.
Mr. Chameleon
Well, perhaps she didn't. Surprising how few of us do. But, Mr. Chameleon. Excuse me, please. I must examine the body. Dave. Yes, sir? Have you those tablets Mrs. Walters carried with them. Mm. Right here. What are you doing? Just turning back her eyelids. She died in agony. All right, let's have one of those tablets. I want to break it open. Oh, we know they're poisoned. Oh, there are poisons and poisons and I. Good Lord. Well, what is it, Mr. Chameleon, Ms. Walters, your mother was murdered.
Mrs. Walters
But that's impossible. She took those tablets herself.
Mr. Chameleon
I'm sorry. She was murdered by a very rare and unusual poison from Rhodesia. I didn't even know there was any in this country. Your mother, I'm sure, would have had no access to anything quite so difficult to obtain, Mr. Chameleon. It's fantastic. A rare and deadly poison, hardly known in this country. It's too fantastic. Nothing, Mr. Lucas, is too fantastic for the criminal mind. Yes, but a poison like this, if it's so hard to get, there must be some hidden somewhere, a secret supply. But who would want to kill Mrs. Waters? What would be the motive? What do you think? I. I'll tell you, Arthur. Oh, Ralph. I didn't hear you come in. Mr. Chameleon, this is my partner, Ralph Crane. Mr. Chameleon, the detective. You sound slightly incredulous. Well, you're such a well known investigator. Very glad to know you, Mr. Crane. Mr. Lucas here was just about to give me a motive for Mrs. Walters murder and I. Yes, what is it, Dave? The housekeeper. They checked up on her. And who do you think she is? Her name isn't Noel at all.
Announcer
It's Schultz.
Mr. Chameleon
The mother of Jim Schultz. The one at Sing Sing. That's it. He's serving a life term for murder. And he used to handle uncut diamonds that were smuggled in from Africa. Rhodesia. That's it. He could have given her the poison, Mr. Chameleon. That's what I started to tell you. Mrs. Walters was afraid of her. This Mrs. Newell Schultz, or whatever her name is. She thought she'd been stealing securities and money out of the library safe. When did she tell you this, Mr. Movies? Just the other day. Ralph and I, as you know, were her advisors. She confided in me particularly. I was very close to her and Phyllis. And she told me she'd been suspicious of Mrs. Newell for some time. Isn't that right, Ralph? Yes, that's right. I hate to tell you this, but I feel I must. I feel you and I should be working together. Yes, yes, that's very nice of you, Mr. Lucas. Well, what do you say, Mr. Chameleon? Shall we take her down to headquarters? You've got to admit the evidence is all against her.
Mrs. Walters
I know the evidence is all against me. But I didn't kill her.
Mr. Chameleon
I couldn't have, no matter how strong the evidence. Mrs. Newell, over my desk there hangs a motto. The innocent must be protected. The guilty must be punished.
Mrs. Walters
Can you believe that?
Mr. Chameleon
I try to live by it. But suppose I can't prove my innocence? If you're innocent, Mrs. Mul. I tell you I am. If you're innocent, it shall be proven. And if you're not? I'm afraid that will be proven also.
Mrs. Walters
Mr. Camelian. You mean you're holding Mrs. Newell?
Mr. Chameleon
Yes. For questioning, Ms. Walters. You see, we have to. The evidence is very, very strong against him. Seems so awful.
Mrs. Walters
I. I don't know who to trust or not to trust anymore. Except Arthur. Mr. Lucas. With him, I. I feel safe.
Mr. Chameleon
Yes. You're marrying him very soon.
Mrs. Walters
Yes, at the end of the week.
Mr. Chameleon
Oh, well, I didn't think it was that soon. However, you've been hurt and badly frightened. It's only natural, I suppose, for you to run to a safe haven.
Mrs. Walters
That's so true, Mr. Comedian. He's a good deal older than I am, but that makes me even less afraid.
Mr. Chameleon
Yes. Yes, I'm sure your mother felt that way about him, too.
Mrs. Walters
Yes, he was wonderful for both of us.
Mr. Chameleon
All right, Ms. Walters, that's all. Would you please send in Detective Sergeant Dave Arnold? He's out in the hall. Goodbye. I'll just. Okay, Ms. Walters. Thanks. You shut the door, please. Dave. Dave, tell me, what do you think of this Arthur Lucas? Lucas? Oh, he's one of those big shots down on Wall Street. He and that Crane guy, investment counselors. Why do you ask? Without even realizing it, he may have information in his office that would give us a lead. He suspects Mrs. Newell, who told me that. After all, her son isn't Sing Sing. How do we know that she isn't a front for a ring? Like to look around that place? Oh, that's easy. But I mean, without their knowing I was doing it, if they knew, they might let something slip. They'd be there, all right, but they wouldn't know me. You mean you'd go in there looking like somebody else? Why not, Dave? Anyone would think this was a new routine. Is my name Chameleon? Of course, I want to go in that in disguise. But so help me, this time I don't think it'd get away with it. Those are smart men, Mr. Chameleon, and they've met you. No, sir. This time you couldn't get away with Look, Dave, it's not a case of assuming a disguise. It's a case of feeling like another person as well as looking like another person. Lucas is the sharper one of the two. But there is some particular disguise that would work with him too. There always is, Dave. Always is. Oh, it reminds me. Yeah? When you're through questioning that housekeeper, Mrs. Newell, you let her go, please. But have someone tailor keep an eye on her. And how. I wonder what sort of disguise would fool Arthur Lucas. I wonder. Dave. For heaven's sake, Ralph, relax. But you're driving me crazy with that endless pacing. Well, what do you want me to do, Lucas? I'm worried sick about those account books. I'm worried about them too, but nobody's asked to look at them yet. Even if they are a bit irregular. Doesn't mean we're murderers. Listen, Lucas. Chameleons like all cop, despite his yelling that the innocent must be protected. If he got in here, he might fake the evidence against us. And what makes you so sure he'll get in here, as you call it? Are you kidding? Any moment that door may open and he may walk in and we wouldn't even know it. I'd know it. You think you're that much smarter than all the others? He's tricked. I'm smart enough not to let Chameleon's reputation throw me into a state of helpless hysteria. I've talked to the man. I've looked him straight in the face. And what does he look like? Can you recall his features? He's extremely handsome. What's the color of his eyes? I don't know. But if you think that some child. Listen to me. Art Kavanaugh was a smart operator, comedian. Got him by posing as a confidence man. In the case of that fake insurance ring. He got them all by pretending he was a man over 80. And that actress who killed her husband.
Mrs. Walters
Oh. Oh, excuse me.
Mr. Chameleon
I thought you gentleman was gone. Not yet. In about an hour. Okay, I'll be back. Who was that new Char woman? Do you think it might be Chameleon?
Narrator
Don't laugh.
Mr. Chameleon
Listen, Ralph, I'm worried about the books too, but I'm hanged if I'll show it. As for Chameleon, he won't get away with a thing. I'll recognize him. He won't have a chance.
Announcer
Mr. Chameleon. And the Case of the Dead Woman's Eyes continues in just a moment. The next time you have an ordinary headache and want quick, reliable relief, remember this. No headache tablet is ready to go to work until it has dissolved in your stomach. And because genuine Bayer aspirin starts disintegrating within two seconds, it's ready to go to work almost at once. Now, to actually see Bayer aspirin's remarkable disintegrating action, simply drop one of these tablets in a glass of water. Before it reaches the bottom of the glass, the tablet will start to disintegrate. You'll have visual proof that Bayer aspirin is ready to go to work almost instantly. Because what it does in the glass, it does in your stomach. In addition to giving you relief that's so fast, you'll be amazed. Bayer aspirin is also reliable. You see, Bayer aspirin has been used without ill effect by millions of normal people. When you buy, ask for it by its full name, Bayer Aspirin. Never by the name aspirin alone. Get the 100 tablet bottle and you get Bayer aspirin tablets for less than a penny a piece. To Mr. Chameleon and the Case of the Dead Woman's Eyes it is the following morning and in the Police Commissioner's office At Central Headquarters, Mr. Chameleon is leaning across the Commissioner's desk. And there is no mistaking the excitement he feels.
Mr. Chameleon
This is it. I'm sure of it, Commissioner. It feels right and therefore it's going to look right. How are you going to do it, Chameleon? Oh, a round shouldered stoop. As if I'd spent most of my life bending over books, glasses, gray hair, shabby clothes. Most of all, a deep seated bitterness because I feel that I'm underpaid with all the mouths that I have to feed. That's a nice little note, considering you're a bachelor. No, no, Mr. Chameleon's a bachelor. Mr. Harry Mitchell is a very good husband and father. So go ahead, Commissioner. Colin, will you tell him that you're sending over a police auditor to look at their books? Hello. This Mr. Lucas. Oh, yes, Commissioner. You what? Well, you really consider that necessary? What's the matter? Well, of course I'll be only too glad to cooperate. When will he be here? Tomorrow morning. Fine. Bye. Commissioner, are they sending over an auditor? Yes. He says they're interested in how much Mrs. Newell stole. I know, but I knew they would.
Narrator
Quiet.
Mr. Chameleon
I want to thank.
Narrator
A lot of good that'll do.
Mr. Chameleon
Will you be quiet? Perhaps I can manage him. How? The usual way. Well, maybe you can. But I know one thing. You couldn't handle Chameleon that way. And here we sit just waiting for him when he gets closer and closer. Just Waiting, bro.
Narrator
We know he's already here.
Mr. Chameleon
Will you quit that? No, I won't. They have a new elevator man. That new charwoman. This building's full of new people, and any one of them may be Chameleons. Well, they may be. I said I'd recognize Chameleons. Well, I'll take a look at that new elevator man. Is he on now? Yes, he is. He'll be back in a few minutes. And if I were you, I'd calm down a bit. You'll know Chameleon. I know him too. I spotted him yesterday. I won't be this Mr. Mysterical Fool.
Announcer
What's that?
Mr. Chameleon
What the devil are you doing in here? I'm cleaning the office. Are you? You don't say. Well, you're always around pretending to clean and eavesdropping. Oh, no, sir. Don't give me that. You were eavesdropping just now and you probably heard plenty. But you won't get away with it. You won't get away with it, Chameleon. I know you.
Announcer
Oh.
Mr. Chameleon
Lucas, I. I thought it was Comedian. I really did.
Narrator
I thought he had overheard this.
Mr. Chameleon
Is she dead? Yes. You stupid fool. What are we gonna do? Fortunately for us, the offices around us are all closed. But even so, we can't get her out of the building. And with the police coming in tomorrow. You fool, I could kill you. We'll have to think of something. We will think of something. You might have done the same thing. If I did, my dear Ralph, I'd get the right man. All set, Mr. Chameleon. I mean, Mr. Mitchell. Yes. Yes, I am Dave. I mean, Sergeant Arnold. Help me. You seem to have shrunk to half your size. It's the suit. Couple of sizes too large for me. Well, I'm glad I'm not in it. Or in your shoes, either. Hey, that's funny. There's the office. Lucas and Crane. But the doors open a little. Do they usually keep it closed? I wondered where that voice was coming from. Yeah, yeah, they usually do. Tight closed, then. Perhaps there's something there they want someone to discover. It's pretty early. They may not be here yet. Yeah. Better let me go in first. Holy smoke. Look. She's dead. The old charwoman's dead. And the office has practically been torn apart. This is horrible. The motive must have been robbery. See, they've rifled my desk. I suppose that poor chore woman walked in on them while they were doing it and got blasted in the face. Mr. Lucas. Yes, Sergeant Arnold? What time did you leave last night about 6:00. Right after the Commissioner called me to say the auditor was coming this poo. Who's that sitting over there in the corner? Oh, that's the auditor, Mr. Mitchell. Yes, I was wondering how long I was going to have to sit there. I'm sorry. Mr. Lucas, this is Mr. Mitchell, our police department auditor. How do you do, sir? How do you do? When can I start going over the books, may I ask? Or do I have to waste a whole day? Look, we had to take the body away, didn't we? Anyhow, we're all through here now, so stop beefing. When can he start, Mr. Lucas? Anytime he wishes to. Okay. What more do you want, Mitchell? I'm going now, Mr. Lucas. I've got a report to headquarters. Very well, Mr. Ronald. I'll take care of Ms. Mitchell. So long, Mitch. Goodbye. And the name is Mitchell. They make me sick. Not one of them could do the kind of work I do if they treat me as if I were of no importance. I should think you'd be extremely important to the police. Thank you. I'm glad someone feels that way. Mr. Lucas, don't you find police auditing interesting work? I might, if I was paid properly. I happen to have a family. Three children, Mr. Lucas. Three children on my salary. Well, I won't go into that. Sit down for a moment if you don't mind. I'll move around while I can. I'll be sitting all day over your books. Listen, that's another thing. I never get any exercise or fresh air. What are you staring at? You. Why? Just looking you over, sizing you up. I like to size up anyone who works for me in any capacity. Well, it makes me uncomfortable. Wish you wouldn't do it. I'm simply trying to make up my mind about you. In what way? In what way? I'll tell you now. I've reached a decision about you. Well, you and I can do business together, can't we? I beg your pardon, Mr. Mitchell. I agree that you're probably atrociously underpaid. And with a family to think of. It just isn't right. No, it certainly is not. Perhaps I could make up to you a little for the injustice. I beg your pardon. Shall we say a very substantial bonus? If I'm pleased with the way in which you audit my books. You could use a bonus, couldn't you? Yes. Yes, I could. Thank you very much. Not at all, Mr. Mitchell. The pleasure is all mine. You told me exactly what I wanted to hear. There it is again, that same Board. That must be loose. It must be. Oh, Mr. Mitchell, I'm going out for a little while. My partner should come in. I'll be back within the hour. Yes, Mr. Lucas. How are the books coming? Fine, fine. Seems to me you've been walking around a great deal. Just stretching my legs a little from time to time. Well, stretch them all you want. I'm going to be my fiance. I'll be a married man too in a couple of days. Congratulations. Thank you. See you later. But not too soon, I hope. Now, where is that board? I've got to do it now. Here. I should say that's fun. See if I can pry up loose this knife or do it. Yes, it's a tis loose. There we are. There's something underneath it. Small white envelop the poison. The poison, Mr. Mitchell. I met my partner out in the hall. Mitchell, what are you doing? I dropped something. I was looking for it.
Narrator
He's lying. He's got that board dried up.
Mr. Chameleon
Chameleon. So that's it. Well, Mr. Chameleon, I guess this is one time when I'll have to use my gun. Whether I like them or not. Sorry, Mr. Lucas. I was a little quicker with the gun than you were. My hand, it's bleeding. Oh, it's just too bad. Stay where you are, Ralph Crane. I'll pick that gun up. There we are. Now we can talk. Why didn't you move faster, Lucas?
Narrator
You stupid idiot.
Mr. Chameleon
Why'd you give him time to pull his gun?
Narrator
Shut up.
Mr. Chameleon
You heard Mr. Lucas say that he disliked guns. Gun is such a vulgar weapon, isn't it? Now look here, Chameleon. Just because you found that. That Poison. Yes, poison the word. But you used on at least three women beside Mrs. Walters. I didn't kill Mrs. Walter. I wasn't with her when she died. You mean, don't you, that you left by the French windows and out through the garden so that Mrs. Newell was alone in the room when Phyllis found her? Well, never again will you be able to exploit women and then kill them when they begin to ask questions, Mr. Lucas. But is that really your name? You've had at least 10 that I know of. What? Oh yes, Lucas. Bigamist, murderer, world traveler. Starting in Rhodesia many years ago with a small time crook as a partner. Isn't that right? Don't you know all this, my dear Lucas? The police all over the world have been after you for years. But you covered your trail very, very beautifully. We had no evidence against you. You wouldn't have now if he hadn't fallen for that disguise of yours. Comedian. It's a good one. You would have fallen for it too, Crane. Yes. Tis a good one, isn't it? But I counted on something else. I counted on your wanting to believe in me the way all your victims wanted to believe in you. Those poor women needed a confidant. And you, Mr. Lucas, needed an auditor whom you could bribe. Oh, you worked on the same theory that I always used. That's funny. That's really funny. Yes, isn't it? You'll never put your theory into practice again. Not with Phyllis, whom you will not marry, of course, or anyone else.
Mrs. Walters
So we had to stop in to see you, Mr. Chameleon. Mrs. Newell and I, we. We both wanted to thank you.
Mr. Chameleon
Oh, yes, I'm so grateful. Ms. Phyllis knows all about my son and she still wants me to stay with her. Well, why shouldn't she, Mrs. Newell? You're no criminal, you know, Mr. Chameleon.
Mrs. Walters
You saved us both.
Mr. Chameleon
Well, that's what we cops are here for, aren't we? Remember that motto over my desk. Well, believe me, Ms. Walters, we mean every word of it. The innocent must be protected. The guilty must be punish.
Announcer
And with these words, Mr. Chameleon, concludes tonight's murder case. The way that millions get amazingly fast relief from common headache, neuritic or neuralgic pain, is to take quick acting Bayer aspirin. Bayer aspirin is one thing that really works and works quickly. And you can see the reason why with your own eyes. Just drop a Bayer aspirin tablet in a glass of water and clock its disintegrating speed. Within two seconds, it will start to disintegrate. And because it does the same in your stomach, because it's ready to go to work almost instantly, relief comes with astonishing speed. In addition, you can take Bayer aspirin with complete confidence. For of all pain relievers, none can match its record of use by millions of normal people without ill effect. So when you buy, be sure to ask for genuine Bayer aspirin. Get the 100 tablet bottle and you get Bayer aspirin tablets for less than a penny a piece. Listen, next Wednesday night at this same time for Mr. Chameleon, the man of many faces in the case of the brownstone murder. The part of Mr. Chameleon is played by Carl Swenson with dialogue by Marie Balmer. From the original story by Frank and Anne Hummert. Your announcer is Howard Twaney. Now, at last, you can get an utterly new, radically different, incredibly better toothpaste. It's revolutionary new lion's Toothpaste. And it's better because thousands of laboratory tests on scores of individual teeth show that it actually gets teeth brighter. Two and a half to five and a half times brighter than any of the five leading brands. Brighter by far than any other toothpaste. New Lion's Toothpaste does this because it's a new kind of toothpaste with a.
Mr. Chameleon
Formula that's completely new, radically different.
Announcer
A toothpaste that cleans without soap, polishes without chalk.
Mr. Chameleon
Try it.
Announcer
By Lyons toothpaste, Mr. Chameleon. The new mystery drama will be heard in its second performance next Wednesday night at this time. This is cbs, the Columbia Broadcasting System.
Narrator
CRIME DOES NOT Pay.
Mrs. Walters
Sure. Sure. I like you a lot, Happy. I like the way you laugh all the time, too.
Narrator
Yeah, I like to laugh. I have fun. Lots of it.
Mrs. Walters
I. I don't think your kind of fun is nice fun, though, Happy.
Narrator
What gave you that idea, baby?
Mrs. Walters
It's your eyes, Happy. You don't laugh in your eyes.
Narrator
You get used to me, baby. You'll have to on account of you saw me in Cottonmouth with the rifle, see?
Mrs. Walters
But you said it was for hotten.
Narrator
Sure, it was for hunting sugar. You don't think that jerk across the street just dropped dead, do you? From lead poisoning, maybe. In the interest of good citizenship and law enforcement, we present Crime Does Not Pay. Based on the famous Metro Goldwyn Mayer series of short such objects. In just a moment you will hear Death on the Doorstep, starring Donald Curtis. Now, Crime does not Pay, starring Donald Curtis as Happy Dick Davis in Death on the Doorstep. The workings of organized crime are far more complicated than most people realize. Not only is the nation divided into districts, each with its own administration, but the large cities are split up that way as well. And any boss in any district may request help, at a price, of course, from any other boss to settle his present difficulties. That's how it happened that Happy Dick Davis, specialist in executions, went south for the winter. Happy took the train. He felt flying was too risky for himself. And in due course he was met at the station and driven to the local headquarters.
Mr. Chameleon
Here he is, boss.
Narrator
Happy Dick Davis himself. In person. As ordered, boss. As ordered. Glad to see you, Happy. Sit down. Smoke? Don't mind if I do. Stop talking, Happy. How do you operate? Depends on what situation. If I can get in close. I like to use a piece of sash cord for distance. I like a rifle with a telescopic sight. An annoy of a rifle. Not with a silencer, it ain't. I tell you, boss, what A man. Thanks. What's your plan for here? Who's the character you want named CD Stone?
Mr. Chameleon
Stoolie.
Narrator
Stoolies die slow up north. We got no time. This bum is talking our best man into a ten year rap. Federal too. He's gotta go, and quick. Who's the finger man? Okay. Your pal CD Handy. Cotton. I know where to find him. Okay, let's ride. One thing though. Yep? Why'd you send for me? Not that it's any old business, but we wanted somebody from out of town. All my Trigger boys are shacked up with perfect alibis this minute. They're staying that way until the job is done. Telephone em, Boss. Tell them they can come out of the woodwork tonight. Not much of a town you got here, Cottonmouth. We do all right. 40,000 folks. 13 schools, four movies, two libraries. And 87 churches. What for all them churches? Nothing else to do Sundays is all. What do you do for fun? They show you when the job's done. It ain't gonna get done walking the streets like this CD Hangs down a couple of these pool rooms. He'd be out long soon. Oh, why they call you Cottonmouth? The Cottonmouth is a snake with the most poison in the swamps around here. Take it for yourself. I get it. Look, if I'm supposed to do this job alone, are you gonna tag along after we find this jerk? Yep. What for? Boss's orders. Why? He said you laugh too much. You guys don't trust nobody, do you? Nope. What about your alibi? Airtight. She'll swear on a stack I was with her. She'll wish it was true tomorrow night. That's a promise. Thanks, pal. You. One of these days I'm going to marry that dame. Hey, look at that. Huh, CD which one? In the cap, case in the move. I see. Kind of scrawny. Shouldn't be no trouble. Oh, he's going inside. He's going to the movies. Come on. Hey, you going after him in there? Yeah. I want to blow this dump. All them churches must have funeral parlors attached. But the joint will be packed. They got a Western all about. Better. I'll get him with the rope and we'll get out before anybody knows nothing. After they find him, it'll be a mob scene. Nobody will remember nothing. Brother, you sure know your business. Yep. That's why the price is high.
Mrs. Walters
How many did you wish, please?
Narrator
Two, baby. You for me and a friend of yours for a friend of mine.
Mrs. Walters
I meant tickets, big boy.
Narrator
So did I, until I caught the looks in your lamps. Kid.
Mrs. Walters
Say, you must be from out of town.
Narrator
How'd you guess? If we're going in, Happy, we better get. My friend here is afraid he missed the shooting.
Mrs. Walters
Yeah, yeah. 70 cents, please. Thank you, sir.
Narrator
Don't mention it. 70 cents for two. Cheap down here. Come on. Gun. Did you see your pal Seedy looking at the cheesecake and the pictures in the lobby here? He just went in this minute. Come on. Two tickets right here. There he is.
Mr. Chameleon
Turn down the aisle.
Narrator
Hey, that's he's sitting on the aisle in the last row. Is it? How could I reach him? With the rope. Why do they build these walls back at the last row? Keeps out drafts, I guess. What do we do, Happy? Wait till it comes out? No, I want to get this job over with. Hey, that ought to do it. What ought to do it? A fire axe. There on the wall. Hold everything. Hey, Happy, don't try it. Nice heft to this one. Clunk and boom. Happy. Happy, if you miss. I ain't gonna miss.
Mr. Chameleon
Now, watch this.
Narrator
This is gonna be a situation. Look out. He's getting up. For the love of Mike. Ah, the dope. Must have seen another seat down front. Yeah. Of course. All my life I wanted to do a job with a fair axe. And now the jerk has to be a movie house seat jumper. Oh, you didn't get him this time, right? First time I ever had anything like that happen to me. This job must be a hoodoo. Could happen to anybody. Hap, you work out of this world how you don't miss a trick. But I'll miss my train if I keep shooting the breeze. Train? What train, my friend? Next train north. Sorry, boss. Paid good money for this job. You'll get a refund. My outfit guarantees delivery. Or your money back. I told you I wanted this thing taken care of. Now, see, it has got to be put away. Not by me. By you. Any ideas on how I have. Now, never mind your new fangled ideas. Cottonmouth will get you a car. You can park in front of Cedar's room in the house. Let him have it first thing in the morning. Haven't got a piece. I'll give you one. Uh, no cowboy jobs for me. Too many things can happen. Cowboy jobs? Yeah. Fire away. Car in gear. Take the corner on two wheels. High O silver. Not me. No cowboy jobs. That's out. You got a better idea, son? Sure I have. What's across the street from CD's place? Another room and house. What else? Good enough. If we can't get a front room, we'll use the roof. You see, Pals. My favorite piece of luggage for a trip like this is the sweetest Springfield 3030 you ever saw. Complete with telescopic sight and silencer.
Mrs. Walters
Hello, Mr. Davis.
Narrator
Why are you, kid?
Mrs. Walters
My name's Selma. I told you that, Mr. David.
Narrator
Yeah, and mine's Happy. I told you that.
Mrs. Walters
I know.
Narrator
Then why don't you use it, baby? Stop being so formal.
Mrs. Walters
Mama always told me to call a man friend mister. It's more polite.
Narrator
Didn't your mother ever tell you about coming into a fellow's room by yourself and closing the door?
Mrs. Walters
Ma tells me about that every day. But you're not just a rumor, Happy. You're from New York.
Narrator
Come here, baby. How old are you, Selma, baby?
Mrs. Walters
21. Why?
Narrator
Well, because, kid, it's a rule up where I come from that you always ask the landlady's daughter her age before you kiss her like this.
Mrs. Walters
So happy. I'm so happy.
Narrator
That's me, kid. Happy makes him happy. Coast to coast. You know, kid, this is about the best layout I ever volunteered for.
Mrs. Walters
Volunteered for?
Narrator
Didn't I tell you? The firm I work for always gives us salesmen a chance to volunteer for a tough territory to show how good we are. We make good, we get a bonus. I usually volunteer. And sister, you ought to see my bank account.
Mrs. Walters
Well, if you're a salesman, why do you stay here all day and play with that rifle?
Narrator
Just waiting for my customers and thought maybe I'd get a little hunting in.
Mrs. Walters
Oh, it's late for the season now.
Narrator
I like to case the explore territory, that is. Give us another kiss, baby.
Mrs. Walters
Ma says I should always watch my step.
Narrator
Oh, she does, huh?
Mrs. Walters
What's that funny thing on the end of your rifle?
Narrator
Oh, that's a recoil cover, like they have tank guns during the war. Saves my shoulder from the recoil.
Mrs. Walters
There must be a mighty powerful rifle. Happy about rabbits. May be a deer.
Narrator
Oh, beg your pardon, miss.
Mrs. Walters
Oh, that's perfectly all right.
Narrator
How are you, Mr. Jackson? Happy to see you so soon. Selma. This is the customer I was telling you about.
Mrs. Walters
Oh, well, excuse me, Ma. Be wondering anyhow. Happy to know you, Mr. Jackson.
Narrator
Same here, Myth. Who's the dame? Land lady's daughter. Well, what's cooking? He'll be out in a minute. Was up on his landing, heard him tell his wife he needed cigarettes, so I came right over. Great. The window sill makes a perfect rest for the rifle. What do you want? Me Happy? On my left and behind where you can see. But you won't get in my Way. Okay. Here. Okay, perfect. The telescope puts that doorway right in this room. That him? No, no, not yet. That's him, Happy. That's his last cigarette. He's lighting like the top sergeant says. Squeeze the trigger. Out of this world, Happy. Beautiful. Oh, Ain't a silence or something. Yep. Clean. Right between the eyes. Come on, Katma, let's blow the back way. This neighborhood ain't gonna be healthy for us in about 10 minutes. In just a moment. Crime does not Pay Will continue with Death on the Doorstep. Now we continue with Crime Does Not Pay. Starring Donald Curtis as Happy Davis in Death on the Doorstep. A man quietly and silently dead in a doorway attracts much less attention than one would believe. Happy Davis knew this and took full advantage of it. Thus, Happy and Cottonmouth were safely and gaily celebrating their achievement in the big shots quarters by the time the first sirens announced the arrival of the police at the scene of the crime. And it was almost three quarters of an hour after CD's death that Sergeant Taylor of the local homicide squad straightened up from bending over the body. All right, Hall. Guess we've done about everything we at this point. Looks like it. Sergeant Simpson got good clean prints in the body? Yes, sir.
Mr. Chameleon
But there's no doubt of it. He's seedy Stone all right. Another stoolie they caught up with.
Narrator
There are plenty more where CD came from. But we can't let them get away with this. They'll feel too free with the others. So we got work to do. No weapons around here. I got the boys checking sewer gratings up and down the street.
Mr. Chameleon
Sure a neat job. One hole right between the eyes.
Narrator
I wonder now, from the way he fell, he was facing the street. Usual finger job. He came out of the house, stopped on the doorstep. He was pointed out. They let him have it. Off they go. Any stolen cars been reported since yesterday? Anybody around here notice a car or hear a shot? Checked. Not even a backfire. Look at the position of the wound above the bridge of the nose.
Mr. Chameleon
Yeah.
Narrator
Now, how'd they get him there if they fired from street level while he was standing here? Four steps up, maybe from the side? No, no, not a chance. Directly from in front.
Mr. Chameleon
So they walk up to him first.
Narrator
No, no. Give me a hand here. Lift him up. Okay, now face him out toward the street.
Mr. Chameleon
This way.
Narrator
Yeah. Now you see what I mean? The angle was down. He was shot from above. Airplanes now. Okay, put them down. Let the meat wagon happen. I think we're going visiting across the street. See what I mean, Hall? Vacancy. Somebody's Moved out?
Mrs. Walters
Yes.
Narrator
Your sign says vacancy.
Mrs. Walters
Yes.
Narrator
You the landlady?
Mrs. Walters
No, sir, my mother is. She's out.
Narrator
Can we see the room?
Mrs. Walters
It's just a double.
Narrator
Only two of us. My friend Simpson here has a place to stay.
Mrs. Walters
All right, you can come in. It's the third floor front.
Narrator
Third floor front. This room been vacant long?
Mrs. Walters
No, sir, just about an hour. Not even cleaned up yet.
Mr. Chameleon
Hey, what a break.
Narrator
Oh, that won't bother us. You notice the excitement across the street, miss?
Mrs. Walters
No, I didn't. Got so mad the fellas had the room. They left a week's rent on the bureau and beat it. Didn't even say goodbye. Anything happen?
Narrator
Yeah, somebody got shot. Right across the street.
Mrs. Walters
Of all things. Person's life isn't safe anywhere these days.
Narrator
Oh, this person knew he was taking chances.
Mrs. Walters
This is the room.
Narrator
Thank you, ma'am. Wanna look it over, fellas? Not a bad view. Front room and everything. You see, miss?
Mrs. Walters
What?
Narrator
They're taking the body away now.
Mrs. Walters
It's too bad the room was left. They'd have seen everything.
Narrator
Yes, wouldn't they? And very neat, were they? Cigarette butts on the floor and all. Sergeant. Found this right near the window. Looks like we picked the right place.
Mrs. Walters
What? That's a bullet.
Narrator
No, it's a shell. Miss.
Mrs. Walters
Happy had a rifle here with a funny thing on the end. He said it was a shock absorber or something.
Mr. Chameleon
Silence.
Narrator
Yeah, must have been.
Mrs. Walters
You don't want to rent this room. You're cops?
Narrator
Yes, miss. Sergeant Taylor, homicide. This Detective Hall. Detective Simpson. How you doing, miss? Apparently, the man who was killed across the street was shot from up here.
Mrs. Walters
Oh, no.
Narrator
Did you know this Happy well?
Mrs. Walters
Well enough.
Narrator
Local fella?
Mrs. Walters
Well, his friend, Mr. Jackson. Sounded like he came round here, but Happy, he came from New York. He told me.
Narrator
Well, look, miss, I have an idea. You don't have to play along if you don't want to. I have a hunch you'll be interested. Now, you listen closely. You couldn't know how neat it was. CD Stops on the soups. That's a cigarette, that's all. Wrap between the eyes. Sure you got away clean? Clean as a whistle. Good break. Perfect. I got a little something for you, Happy. Sort of a bonus. A G. Note yourself. Hey, that's all right. Some jobs are worth voucher for. You gonna take the night train, Happy? Well, you might as well now. Let your boss know what a great job you did. Oh, I don't know. Maybe I'll stick around a few days. Hey, it's the dame, boss. What Dame, landlady, daughter. That sort of thing ain't safe, Happy. Dames is poison. South or north. That Babe don't know from nothing. Except that a fella from New York is different. Well, he talks different anyhow. Well, so can she. Don't worry, boss. Say, can I use the phone? Well, you're on your own now. Go on, help yourself. Thank you. Know, can't get used to dialing. Only four numbers. New York. We got seven.
Mrs. Walters
Hello.
Narrator
Hi, Selma.
Mrs. Walters
Oh, it's you.
Narrator
Surprise, baby.
Mrs. Walters
You walked out awful quick, Happy.
Narrator
I. I come into some money awful quick. How's about helping me get rid of it tonight?
Mrs. Walters
You mean dances?
Narrator
Maybe nothing else. But pick you up, say, 8:00?
Mrs. Walters
Eight. All right, honey. I'll be ready and waiting. Bye.
Narrator
See you later, kid. See what I mean? Fellas talk different and a dame is a lead pipe cinch.
Mrs. Walters
This sure is a smooth car, Happy. So big I. I saw one like it in a movie.
Narrator
Yeah, Hollywood's full of them.
Mrs. Walters
Why you stopping, Happy?
Narrator
Park according to the rules. When you're oddly brick like you, you gotta park.
Mrs. Walters
Oh, Happy, you're so funny. Sometimes.
Narrator
Only sometime.
Mrs. Walters
Most of the time.
Narrator
Sure is quiet out here. Not like the big town. Want to go to New York? Summer?
Mrs. Walters
Me, New York?
Narrator
Who wouldn't want to go with me?
Mrs. Walters
So you can walk out on me like you did this morning.
Narrator
I came back for you, didn't I?
Mrs. Walters
Uh huh. But next time maybe you wouldn't come back.
Narrator
What's the matter, baby? Don't you like me?
Mrs. Walters
Oh, sure. Sure. I like you a lot, Happy. I like the way you laugh all the time too.
Narrator
So I like to laugh. I have fun. Lots of it.
Mrs. Walters
I don't think your kind of fun is nice. Fun, Happy.
Narrator
I'll give you that idea, babe.
Mrs. Walters
It's your eyes, Happy. You don't laugh in your eyes.
Narrator
You'll get used to me, baby. Sure you will. You'll have to. On account of you saw me in Cottonmouth with a rifle, see.
Mrs. Walters
But you said it was for hunting.
Narrator
Sure it was for hunting. Sugar, you don't think that jerk across the street just dropped dead, do you? From lead poisoning? Maybe.
Mrs. Walters
But I don't understand, Happy. Honest I don't.
Narrator
I'll draw you a diagram, kid. You got two choices, see. You can come with me and have fun, or you can stay here permanent.
Mrs. Walters
I could have. Maybe have just a little time.
Narrator
Sure. Take all the time you want. Until tomorrow night. I'm going north on the night train. So you figure all you want and have your bag Packed when I come for you. That's the picture, kid. And it don't need no frame around it.
Mrs. Walters
Just a minute, Happy. You did come back.
Narrator
Told you I would, baby. Ready for the big john, Sugar?
Mrs. Walters
Well, I. I'll come. Come on in the parlor, will you, Happy?
Narrator
Okay, kid. Let me make it snappy. We got 40 minutes to the train. You ought to be darn glad you're getting away from the rubber plants and the doilies, sister.
Mrs. Walters
Happy, I just don't know. That is, I'm not going with you.
Narrator
You nuts or something?
Mrs. Walters
I'm staying here.
Narrator
That's the way you want it, huh?
Mrs. Walters
Well, I can't leave my mother alone.
Mr. Chameleon
Happy.
Narrator
What's the matter, baby? It's only a piece of sash corn. I know you want to stay here. Okay, you stay. This berg's dead as a doornail anyway. You might as well stay here dead as alive. That goes for you, too, Happy. You ain't got nothing on me. You heard him, Davis. And you'll hear plenty before we're through. I want a mouthpiece. You can't hold me. Oh, can't we? I think. What charge, flatfoot? What charge? Keep a civil tongue in your head. You're charged with plenty. Murder of Cedar Stone, the attempted murder of this girl here. You can't prove a thing. We can prove the works, Davis. Cottonmouth is singing his head off. We traced a thousand dollar bill you changed at the hotel this morning straight to the boss, and he's locked up, too. We got your prints and Cottonmouth from the room upstairs. We picked up your luggage from the check room at the station, your rifle included, complete with fingerprints. We got the shell you fired, and the bullet. Can't prove anything. Davis, we got enough to fry you twice, but once will be quite enough. It usually is, in my experience. Fine does not pay. Donald Curtis, who has starred as Happy Dick Davis in Death on the Doorstep, will be back with you in just a moment. Now, here in person is Donald Curtis. It's apparent to my thinking, and as we have demonstrated, that even cool Catholic killers like Happy Davis are we on the long run. But that one doesn't have to be long. It can be cut very short by courage and clear thinking of everyday citizens. Once they realize that organized crime feeds only on the indolence and carelessness of people like Luke and me. Think that through and you'll understand that in our hands, that crime does not pay. Thank you. Crime Does Not Play is written by Ira Marion and directed by Marx B. Loeb, with music composed and conducted by John Gart Technical Advisor is Burton B. Turkis. The events, characters and names used in the story you've just heard are fictitious. Any similarity is purely coincidental. That's Case Closed for this week. You can find more from Mr. Chameleon, crime does Not Pay, this podcast and all of the other Relic radio shows@ Relicradio.com. you'll find our Shoutcast stream there as well, with even more Old Time Radio lots to listen to, all for free. Thanks to your support. If you'd like to help out, visit donate. Relicradio.com or click on one of the links on the website.
Mr. Chameleon
Thanks to those who have thanks for.
Narrator
Joining me this week. Be back again next week with another hour of Case Closed.
Podcast Summary: Case Closed! (Old Time Radio) Episode: Mr. Chameleon and Crime Does Not Pay Release Date: January 30, 2025 Host/Author: RelicRadio.com
In this captivating episode of Case Closed!, RelicRadio.com transports listeners back to the golden age of radio with two enthralling crime narratives. The first segment, “Mr. Chameleon and the Case of the Dead Woman's Eyes”, features the ingenious detective Mr. Chameleon unraveling a perplexing murder mystery. The second segment, “Crime Does Not Pay and Death on the Doorstep”, delves into the sinister workings of organized crime through the character Happy Dick Davis. This summary encapsulates the key points, discussions, and climactic resolutions of both stories, enriched with notable quotes and timestamps for reference.
The episode opens in the opulent drawing room of the Walters mansion, where Mrs. Harrison P. Walters confronts Mr. Chameleon about alleged thefts. The ambiance is described as “cool and shadowy” despite the summer heat, setting a tense atmosphere ([00:00]-[02:15]).
Notable Quote:
As the conversation intensifies, Mrs. Walters exhibits signs of distress and confusion, hinting at a deeper mystery behind her accusations. Mr. Chameleon’s keen observation leads him to question the authenticity of Mrs. Walters’ behavior and the nature of the tablets she possesses.
Notable Quote:
Mr. Chameleon presents his suspicions to the Police Commissioner, challenging the initial conclusion of suicide regarding Mrs. Walters’ death. He introduces Detective Sergeant Dave Arnold into the investigation, highlighting inconsistencies in the evidence ([03:30]-[05:59]).
Notable Quote:
Through meticulous investigation, Mr. Chameleon discovers that the supposed suicide was, in fact, a murder orchestrated using a rare poison from Rhodesia. The plot thickens as Mr. Chameleon reveals that Mrs. Newell, the housekeeper, is entangled in the crime, leading to her arrest ([06:05]-[10:26]).
Notable Quote:
Host Detective Sergeant Dave Arnold discusses the implications of Mr. Chameleon's findings with Mr. Chameleon, contemplating the next steps to expose the hidden criminal network. Mr. Chameleon's strategic thinking and adaptability come to the forefront as he plans to infiltrate the suspects’ environment in disguise ([10:35]-[17:15]).
Notable Quote:
The tension culminates in a dramatic confrontation where Mr. Chameleon exposes Ralph Crane (posing as Mrs. Newell) as the true murderer. Employing his signature guile, Mr. Chameleon neutralizes the threat, ensuring justice is served and reinforcing his motto: “The innocent must be protected. The guilty must be punished.”
Notable Quote:
Transitioning to the second narrative, “Crime Does Not Pay and Death on the Doorstep”, the story centers around Happy Dick Davis, a specialist in executions within the organized crime world. This segment explores the intricate and perilous operations of crime syndicates ([30:13]-[32:35]).
Notable Quote:
Happy Dick Davis, teamed with his partner Cottonmouth, orchestrates the assassination of CD Stone, a stoogie who threatens their organization. The meticulous planning and cold execution reflect the ruthless nature of their operations ([32:35]-[39:05]).
Notable Quote:
Happy, under the alias of Cottonmouth, interacts with Selma, the landlady's daughter, in a seemingly innocent manner. Their conversation subtly reveals Happy’s manipulative tactics to gain trust and exploit vulnerabilities ([39:05]-[52:54]).
Notable Quote:
Using charm and deceit, Happy leads Selma into a trap, demonstrating his proficiency in carrying out murders without detection. The scene is tense, showcasing the calculated brutality of crime leaders ([52:13]-[55:00]).
Notable Quote:
The narrative concludes with law enforcement closing in on Happy and Cottonmouth. Through diligent investigation led by Sergeant Taylor and Detective Simpson, the evidence mounts against the criminals. The final act reinforces the moral that “Crime does not pay,” as Happy and his cohorts face justice for their heinous actions ([56:18]-[57:00]).
Notable Quote:
This episode of Case Closed! masterfully intertwines two riveting crime stories, each highlighting the relentless pursuit of justice by adept detectives. Mr. Chameleon exemplifies the quintessential detective, employing intelligence and adaptability to solve complex cases, while Happy Dick Davis serves as a cautionary tale of the inescapable consequences of organized crime. Through engaging storytelling and well-crafted dialogues, listeners are reminded that integrity triumphs over malice, and indeed, crime does not pay.
Additional Information: For more thrilling Old Time Radio stories, visit RelicRadio.com and explore their extensive Shoutcast stream featuring numerous classic radio dramas, all available for free. Support the channel by visiting their donation page to keep these timeless tales alive.