Peter Troy (0:00)

This is Case Closed. One hour of mystery and crime from the golden age of radio. Every Wednesday@ Relicradio.com. our first story comes from Walk Softly, Peter Troy. This week we'll hear Too Many Maids, a moping from February 25, 1964. After that, it's the New Adventures of Nero Wolf and the Beautiful Archer. That story aired November 24, 1950. Being a private investigator means two things. You can be sure you'll run into trouble and you can never be sure you can get out of it. Well, there's not much you can do about it, I guess. Except, like Julie always says, walk softly, Peter Troy. Well, friends, you will have noticed that the cases I recount to you from time to time all seem to have one thing in common. Somewhere along the line, there always seems to be a cute little doll involved in the setup. Well, maybe I'm a sucker for a pretty ankle and a sigh for help. And talking of ankles brings me to the case in point. This one's filed under the heading Too Many Maids Are Moping. Why? Because there were 18 pairs of the cutest ankles you ever did see. Involved scene, the backstage dressing room with the chorus line of the show, gals galore. Time, 11:15pm the curtain's just come down and the gals galore comes streaming into the place. The management of this broken down theatre don't do something about the drought on that stage. What are you going to do, Abby, so them we've got enough troubles without having to endure a cold north wind cutting right across the footlight? Trouble? This whole show's jinxed if you ask me. You can say that again. Leonie, let me hold your cleansing cream, honey. Ah, you use mine every night when you buy some of your own. I'm gonna declare a public holiday. So I said to him, I said, I'm used to being driven home in a big car. I am right O, he says, I'll take you home in a big car. The biggest I can find. Ha. You know what that turned out to be? A London bus. Talk about that. Ah, shut down. And I've got another pair in these tarts. I suppose Wardab will dock more money out of my pay packet. Joan, can I lend you a trowel to put that cleansing cream on with? After all, there's no need to go sparingly with it. It doesn't belong to you. Corn's giving you trouble again. Ah, now look, both of you. Sake, don't start squabbling again, you two. Sorry, I'm a bit on edge. I Suppose. Oh, that's all right, love. We're all on edge. A little wonder after everything that's happened. If you ask me, it's more than just coincidences. Yes, I think, Jim, there's something darn fishy going on around here. One misfortune after a dozen accidents in less than 10 days. Accidents. Funny sort of accidents, if you ask me. Well, I'm just about ready to quit, I can tell you. It's the same way I can tell you. You know, when that sandbag fell from the flies, it missed me by inches. If I'd have been under it, it would have killed me. And that faulty wiring on the switch to the dressing room. I could have been electrocuted. And when the safety curtain collapsed, the whole lot of us could have been mangled and the floor giving way and that great hunk of scenery falling. Yeah, there's something fishy going on. They can't all be accidents. Definitely. Yeah, I think there's something fish. What's the matter? I can smell something. That horrible perfume Joan uses. No, no, no, seriously. Smells like. Like gas. Gas? It seems to be coming from on top of that electric light bulb. Yeah. Hey, look. There's a cloud of stuff drifting down. Oh, gosh. Let's get out of here. Come on. Come on, Abby, open up the dobby booger on suffocate with. I can't. It's locked. Someone's locked us in. You'll be pleased to know that none of the gals suffered because of the gas. Some bright spark threw a shoe through the window, and a couple of the stagehands heard the ruckus and broke down the locked door. But the ladies were a bit unnerved by their experience. The latest in a long line of mishaps. Now, it so happens I knew one of the corrines quite well, Abby. Ms. Abigail Pierce. She begged me to look into the matter. Well, next night, found me backstage with Julie. Watch it, Pete. Your eyes are bulging again. Huh? Oh, you're going to just love this assignment, aren't you? A whole gaggle of chorus girls in distress. Just a favor for an old friend, Julie. Old friend? Just because she wears spangles and tights and peroxide hair and false eyelashes. What are you chortling about? I was just trying to imagine you in spangles. I beg your pardon? Oh, don't get peeved. It was a nice picture. Peter. Peter Troy. Oh, Pete, darling. Hi, Abby. That's Ms. Peters. So I guess. Oh, you came down to help us. So I love you madly and you're my favorite man. Oh, careful with him, Ms. Peters. He creases easily. This is my secretary, Abby. Her name's Julie, and she insisted on coming down. She's interested in the thea. You know, puffer. What are you, a hoofer? I doubt it. A hoofer? A corrine. A dancer. You know, a hoofer. No, Abby, Julie's not a hoofer. Though, mind you, Mr. Troy. Come on, Abby, let's go somewhere quiet where we can discuss this business of yours. Sure. Come on into the dressing room. Well, I. It's all right. It's empty. Oh. Girls were all on stage for the harem number. I'm not in it. Huh? Here we are. Be it ever so humble. Now, this is where it happened. That's right. Stuff seemed to drift down from just above that light globe over there, and the door was locked tight. I can tell you there was almost a panic in here. Then Leone threw a shoe through that window up there, and the general turmoil brought a couple of the stagehands around. And they broke down the door. That's right. Mm. Pete, this isn't the only thing that's been happening to us. Collapsing scenery, faulty electrical equipment, falling sandbag weights. I know to mention, but a few girls are scared out of their wits. They're just about ready to walk out, and I think, Abby, your cue is coming up. Oh, thanks, Joan. Who's he? He's nice. I have to go on stage now, but a special disb. I'll be back later. That's Peter Troy. You know, I can still smell a trace of that stuff. That's not gas. Well, whatever it is, it's darned unpleasant. It reminds me of school days. School? That's right, school days. It's a stink bomb. We used to manufacture them during chemistry sessions. Oh, what nasty little boys. You must have been even telling the light go. You hit on something? I think so, yeah. This is the stuff, all right. Cute idea, but not original. Stick a pellet on top of the light bulb when it's out. Yeah. Then when you switch on the light, the heat from the globe activates the pellet and it lets off the smell. Not dangerous, but it's pretty unpleasant. But for all the girls knew, it could very easily have been a poisonous gas. Particularly vicious practical joke, if you ask me. Yeah. Or was it a practical joke? To me, all this seems like a deliberate plan to intimidate the girls. But why? And there's another point. Yeah? Why haven't they called in the police yet? Yeah. Remind me. You Ask Abby that. In the meantime, we've at least solved the mystery of the gas. Now, let's have a look at that door. It's locked. When they tried to get out, wasn't it? Uh. Oh. What's the matter? It's happened again. The door locked. Wait, you mean we can't get out? That's right. Now I wonder. What are you looking around for? For something to happen, honey bun. Last time that door got locked, a stink bomb was let loose in here. Now this time. Pete. Yeah, I can smell something. Bur, Pete, something is burning. Where is it? Over by that smash window. See, from the trash can. Oh. Can you get it out? Pete, hand me that dressing gown. Oh, be careful. That's okay. I spotted it in time, I think. Oh, Pete, how did that get started? Let's have a look through this rubbish. Yeah, this looks like it. What is it? The simplest little timing mechanism for an incendiary ever invented. A pack of matches. You light one and jam it under the COVID When the match burns down, it ignites the rest of them in the pack. Well, someone must have thrown it through that broken window. Correct. The pack's pretty charred. You can see here on the COVID the. Something Lis Club. Lis. Police Club. Yeah, we'll come back to that later. You know, in the meeting. Someone wants to get in. Hey, what's the big idea of locking the door? What's been happening? That's a long story, cherub. But the locked door. Now you'll notice it was locked from the outside. Someone must have dropped a cigarette into this rubbish. Let's get rid of some of the smoke. Pete. Huh? I think the ladies want to get changed. Oh. Oh, yeah, of course. You may buy me a drink at the nearest bar. Sure. Bye, Abby. See you later. Come back after the show. Sure, and I'll. Pete, that drink, please. No, honey. That little attempt at arson was designed specifically to scare yours truly away from the scene. And by someone who knew Abby'd sent for me. Someone who knew I was having a look around that dressing room at that specific time. Pete, it could be anyone. The doorkeeper of the theatre, the manager, the stage director. They all knew. Julie, that list of people you just rattled off. Yeah, all men. So why? What do you mean, why? You think there's a man behind all this? Well, I don't, but if you. I think it's a girl. Maybe even a coraine. Oh, now why do you say that? Barry? Barry. Oh, sorry, Mr. Mason. If a man had wanted to scare me off the case, he wouldn't have dropped a match into that rubbish camp. He'd have waited in some dark alley as I was leaving the place. Used his fists or blackjack as an argument. That's logical. But that incendiary effort. Woman's work, I think. So then who and why? I don't have the answer to either of those questions. But I could take a guess. I'm listening. Someone wants that show to fold. It's a thought, but why? Someone wants the show to flop. So they figure the best way of making a girly show full of pieces is by scaring the girlies half out of their poor little cotton picking minds. That's a good theory, Pete. The best one I can offer right now. Anyway, it gives us a starting point. It does? Sure. We look for a girl who has some reason for wanting that particular review closed down. Oh, I think I could use a cigarette. Dumb. Match, please, Pete. Sure. Thanks. Oh, careful. You'll burn your fingers. Hey. Hey what? Hey, this pack of matches, where do they come from? On the table. Compliments of the house. Why? Well, look at them. The Fleur de Lis Club. Well, that's the name of this place. The Fleur de Lis Club. Get it? Lis. Lis Club. Those matches that were dropped into the rubbish can, they came from this place. Maybe the clue wasn't all that important, but I added it to the rest of the information I'd gathered. The Fleur de Lis Club was right next door to the theater. And I guess most of the cast and staff would drop in there at some time or other. So maybe the pack of matches wasn't all that significant. But I clutched at straws on account of I really had so little to go on. There was that ugly feeling at the back of my mind. The feeling that this was only the prelude. The vicious little jokes were going to get more serious. There was a pattern building up. I'd seen this sort of thing before. Sometimes it ended in murder. So what? With this and that, I figured it was about time my old buddy Inspector Caswell of Scotland Yard was brought into the actual. Troy, this is a job for the local divisional police, not for Scotland Yard. There's someone committing a nuisance at that theater, that's all. Now you're so right. Setting fire to the joint is certainly committing a nuisance. All right. Now, Troy, don't exaggerate. Exaggerate? I nearly got myself incinerated. Now, let's not fool around, Inspector. That whole theater could have gone up in smoke and me with it. No such luck. You're not gonna take any action then? Look, you reported to the local divisional station and. Nuts. Now look, Troy, I'm a very busy man. Doing what? You know, from somewhere. I got the crazy mixed up idea that it was Scotland Yard's job to combat crime in this city. The constable on the beat can handle this particular crime very nicely, thank you. Now look, maybe I haven't got this across to you. I have a bad feeling about this deal. Ay. By Carpenter to Sodom. This is no time to be making with a funny patter. Oh, be a good fellow and don't slam the door as you go out. Oh, go find some old lady's lost poodle. Thank you, Troy. Oh, hello, Inspector Caswell here. Put me through to Superintendent Hayden Marshall, will you? Thanks. Hello, Super Caswell here. I've just had a very irate private investigator in here. Yeah, that's right. Peter Troy. Seems he's been putting in some time down at the Islington Empire Theatre. Yes, and from what he says, it would seem that our man's made his move. No, no, no, no, no. Troy doesn't know the score yet. But I'll wager it won't be long before he stumbles on something. He has a habit of doing that. Hmm. Yes, I think we'd better double our watch on the place. Anything's liable to happen now. Okay, Abby, let's go over all again. Oh, but Pete, sweetie, I've told you every single little thing a hundred times. Once more, petal. The manager himself is backing the show. The man who owns the theater? That's right. Harold Bagen. Nice fellow. Go on. Well, the rumors have it that he sunk his last penny into this review. It goes bang and he's have it. So there we have a motive. Motive? Someone wants the show to fold, so Harold Bagent loses his shirt. Now what would anyone gain from that? He lose his own money. And his theater. And his theater? Why yes, and who'd want to buy a theater these days? There's dozens of them lying around empty all over London. Now look Abby, all these things that have been happening to the girls. You found out who's responsible? No, but I'll bet it's one of the corrines that used that dressing room. Oh now Pete, they were all locked in there when that gas came. Now that door's got a two way lock, Abby. It can be locked from the outside as well. I know. And it can be also locked from the inside. You mean. I mean with all that ruckus going on in there, you could have missed seeing one of the girls turning the key from the inside. Yes, but what about the gas? Will she get herself gassed as well as all. But it wasn't gas. Pedal was a rather, well, obnoxious chemical, but quite harmless. It did what it was supposed to do. It throw an awful scare into 15 of those 16 girls. Yes, but the chemical was in the form of a pellet. Which was stuck on top of the electric light bulb when the light was off. Now, who else but one of those chlorines would have had the opportunity of putting it there? Well, we're mostly on stage all at the same time. Except me. I have that specialty number. Pete, you don't think it's me? No, of course not. But I do want to know this, Abby. You called for me to clear all this up. Now, why didn't you send for the place? Well, we had a sort of roundtable conference. And we discussed it, but the motion was vetoed. Why? Peak jobs for chorus girls don't grow on trees. I see. We didn't want to start any trouble. And Bajan has been pretty decent to us. Mm. So? So someone suggested we keep the police out of it for as long as possible. Who? What? Who suggested you keep the police out of it? One of the girls. Well, which one? I don't remember. We were all talking at once, you know. Well, is it important? Well, it could be. I'll try to remember. Mm. One last thing, Abby. Yes? The Fleur de Lis Club. Now, what do you know about it? Oh, well, we all go there. It's nice and handy. Who owns it? Matt Castellas. What? Well, of course, everyone knows he's been in trouble with the police. He only came out of jail a couple of months ago. Well, he's caused no trouble, and he's been good to us. Any of the girls really friendly with him? Pete? I don't honestly know. Okay, sugar. We'll leave it at that. I'd better be making a move anyway. Sure you wouldn't like a drink, Pete? You don't have to rush away, do you? Oh, don't tempt me, Abby. I'm notoriously weak willed. Pete. Night, baby. See you at the theater, huh? Night, Pete. Night. Hmm. Okay, he's gone now. Why you didn't want him to see you, I don't know, Pete. Sweet and a lot of fun and. Hey, what's the matter? What are you looking at me like that for? What's the matter? Get back. Get away from me. Have you gone crazy? Keep away from me. Hey, has anyone Seen Abby? Abby? Abigail. What's the matter? Haven't you heard, Mr. Troy? Heard what? There's been an accident. Abby? Yes. What happened? She fell out of the window of her apartment. When? About an hour and a half ago. Is she. She's in hospital. They still don't know how badly she's hurt. An hour and a half ago. But I was with her then. She was all right when I left. Fell out of the window? We don't know whether she fell out or was pushed out. And you were with her? Yeah, but. Well, all right, but don't look at me like that. Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose we're all a bit jittery. Abby was a good kid. I know. And this was the final stroller through, Mr. Troy. Finished. Finished? Yeah, that's right. No one will go on now. We're just waiting for Mr. Bagent to pay us our money and then we're leaving. No show tonight, huh? No, but that old saying about the show must go on. There. There are exceptions. This is one of them. Then Bagent's finished? Yes, I'm afraid so. So they succeeded. What? Nothing. Just thinking aloud. Well, they closing up the theater now. Well, let's go. Aren't you coming, Mr. Troy? No. They'll lock you in. That's right. Will you be here all alone? I don't think so. I'll be waiting for someone. You'll have a lonely wait. Not for long, I hope. Well, I hope your guest turns up, Mr. Troy. Good night. Oh, they'll turn up all right. I'm sure of it. Very sure of it. Mr. Troy? Mr. Troy, are you there? Yeah, I'm here. Joan, isn't it? That's right. Forget something? Yes. My makeup kit. Uh huh. Where are you? I can't see it. So dark in here. Isn't it though? And I'm a little scared. Mr. Troy. I'd appreciate it. Oh, I doubt it. Joan. What? I doubt if you're scared of the dark. What do you mean? You're a very self reliant girl, Joan. Am I? So is that husband of yours. Husband? Matt Castellas. I think you must have made some mist. You know. You and Castellas were married 10 years ago in Paris. Indeed. Just before he pulled that gold bullion heist. I don't know what you're talking about. He held up and robbed an armored car not two blocks away from this theater, Mr. Chuckle. In fact, he was captured right here in this theater. Just about where you're standing now. But they didn't find the bullion didn't. They was late at night. This theatre was a movie house. Then he and these boys broke in and hid the bullion someplace. His two sidekicks decided to shoot it out for the police. They didn't make it. All right, Mr. Troy, you got the story right in just about every detail. That's gratifying, but it's not going to do you any good. I'm standing right beside the master switch. I pull it and this theater is flooded with light. And in my hand I'm carrying a gun. Don't do it, Joan. The next one won't miss. Drop the gun, Mrs. Costello. We have this place surrounded. Caswell. Show's over, Troy. Curtain's coming down. Oh, now, wait a minute. All right, Mrs. Castellas, let's not have any trouble. Sorry about this bit of deception, Troy, but it was rather necessary. You see, we've had Castellis under observation ever since he came out of prison. We'd seen him meet Joan, so we investigated her background. Incidentally, John, where is the bullion? You are so clever. You find out. Oh, we've got a Therian, you see. Obviously, they couldn't just walk into the theater and get it out, so it must be almost inaccessible. That's why Custardis wanted the theatre empty, so that he could get at it. So. So they extended the back to make dressing rooms and they concreted over an old storeroom, probably under the concrete. How's that, Joan? I'd say you hit the jackpot, Inspector. I'll get you, Troy, if it hadn't been for you. Yeah, she doesn't look half so pretty when she's scowling, does she? You'd better walk mighty softly from now on, Peter Troy, and carry a big stick. Night, Joan. This is the United States Armed Forces Radio and Television Service. There's a full serving of laughs on the menu at Duffy's Tavern tonight with Archie the manager, played by Ed Gardner. Archie's colleagues in comedy are Ms. Duffy, Clifton Finnegan and Eddie the waiter. This Sunday, the big show comes your way, once again on NBC. And just listen to a few of the stars. Who will be with you. Fred Allen, Jack Carson, Mindy Carson, Ed. Archie Gardner, Ed Wynn, and many, many more. And of course, your emcee will be Tallulah Bankhead. Listen, Sunday for the big show. Ladies and gentlemen, that phone bell means exciting adventure. Hello? Hello. The handsome young man answering the phone is Archie Goodwin, a mountain of a man engrossed in deep thought in the oversized armchair is Nero Wolf. Hey, boss. Oh, Mr. Wolf. Mr. Wolf. There's a guy on the phone, wants us to take a case. Seems that someone was mad at a guy who was mad. And now this guy on the phone is mad. Wants us to find out who did the killing. What do you say, Mr. Wolf? We need the money. Hello? Yes, Mr. Wolf says he'll be happy to take the case. Just present yourself and a check for $2,000 at 601 W. 35th St. At 11:00. Mr. Wolf can't wait till you get here. He's dying to go to work. Goodbye. Greatest detective in the world. The only trouble is, he is. Yes, listeners, Archie is so right. He is the greatest detective in the world. And the fattest and the least energetic. He's Nero Wolf. Created by Rexed out and brought to you over this NBC network in a new series of Adventures by Mr. Sydney Greenstreet. Tonight, it's the Case of the Beautiful Archer. That's a good title. And it was a good case, too. It began in the consulting room of Dr. Dr. Reynard Townley of the Townley Sanitarium, skipping a jump north of Nyack, New York, when a very lovely young lovely glared across the desk at the good doctor. Shall we pretend you don't know who I am, Dr. Townley? How could we possibly do that, my dear? Diana Lawrence, 23 years old, daughter of one of our better known sculptors, Michael Lawrence. You were born in Johannesburg, educated in London and Paris, and live at present 100 yards from here in your father's cottage on Berryhill Lane. How's that intended to be? Staggering, isn't it? You take no cream or sugar in your coffee. We're winner of the Woman's national archery tournament for 1947 and have an exceedingly high temper. Let's stop the nonsense. You have an inpatient here named Willard Garth. Willard Garth happens to be my fiance. Yes, he has mentioned the fact during his analysis and, well, has he by any chance mentioned his reasons for suddenly refusing to see me during the past five weeks? He didn't have to, Ms. Lawrence. What do you mean? I mean that I recommended he give you up as a bad job. What? I suppose you had some purpose in saying what you did. Of course. I'm the boy's doctor. You think you're in love with Willard Goss. I know, but actually you're infatuated with the Garth millions. You take a lot on yourself, don't you, Doctor? I consider it important to relieve Willard of all painful external pressure. You've done well for Willard, Dr. Townley, relieving him of me? I think so. Let's see you relieve yourself of me. You purchased the gun for this occasion, Ms. Lawrence? Yes. And what exactly do you hope to accomplish with it? A quick and complete reversal of your decision about me. I'm not as easy to handle as Willard, as you see. And if you intend to ruin my life, then I intend to end yours here and now. The phone is ringing. Let it ring, just as you say. It's the house phone, Ms. Lawrence. It may be Willard, you know. Who? Willard? Yes, he usually phones me from his room at about this time every day. All right, answer it. But be careful what you say. You're in command, it seems. Hello? Why, hello. I thought it would be you, Willard. Look, my boy, Diana Lawrence is here. I've had a talk with her and I've reconsidered my opinion. Yes, yes, I'm quite serious. If you're at all sensible, you see her regularly and plan on a marriage as soon as you're discharged. Yes. Oh, you do? Very well. I'll see if she'll talk to you. Ms. Lawrence? Yes? Do you want to speak with him? Give me the phone. Of course. Here you are. And I'll take this gun. There we are. Now stand away, Miss Lawrence. But Willard. Willard's on the phone. Willard is not on the phone. No one was on the phone. The ring came from the push button bell under my desk here. Sometimes I find it convenient to interrupt my consultations with the phone. Oh, you. You smug, deceitful, self sufficient murderer. Is a vexatious business. You'll be grateful to me one day. All right, give me my gun and let me go. The gun, I'm afraid, stays with me here in this Majonica cabinet. I'd scarcely feel justified in trusting you with it. And now, with your permission or without it, the interview is ended. Later that day, the phone in the Lawrence house on Berry Hill Lane began to jingle. This time it was no phony. Hello, Diana? Yeah. Will it, darling? Diana, darling, it's Willard. Imagine. Has the doctor let you use a telephone? Just as if you were a great big adult. Oh, I've got to see you, sweetheart. And I. I didn't call you to argue. Love, beauty, understanding. That's what matters, isn't it? Isn't it? Do I hear the overtones of a change of heart? Diana? What's happened wasn't my fault. He poisoned me against you. Then why don't you walk out of that amateur nuthouse and stand up like a man? I probably shall. Diana, now please listen to me. He's letting me have the limousine tonight from 8 until 12. I want us to go for a ride and talk and talk and talk until everything is clear. Clear as a bell, my baby. Don't tell me he's trusting you to drive. Oh, no, no. One of the handyman here will show for us. Oh, say you'll come, Diana. Will you? Say it. Say yes. Say you will. Well, yes, Willard, I'll be glad to. Eight o'clock then. Eight. Oh, bless you. Bless you, my angel. Oh. Oh, so that's it. You want my father's money. That's what you love, not me. Willard, the chauffeur will hear you. It's the way Townley says it is. He's right. He's right. Why did I let you talk me into this? What a fool I was to have come at all. You're sick inside, Willard. So utterly, hopelessly sick. Oh. Oh, so now I. I'm hopelessly sick. Yes. Yes, you are. You're trying to confuse me, take advantage of me, wind me around your finger. Just because I love you too much. That's it. That's my illness. Of course I see it now. You. You're the thing I must get rid of you with your beautiful, beautiful face and your twisted values. You're at the bottom of all my agony. Will. It Will. I'm saving myself. I'm saving myself. Once you're dead, the sickness is ended. I'll be safe. I'll be safe. Dr. Townley? Yes, come in. Mr. Wolf's been expecting you. Come in. Dr. Townley, come in. Have a chair. Thank you. Mr. Wolf, I'm so happy you've agreed to take this case. Have a glass of beer. Oh, no, no. Never at this time of morning. Thank you. Well, doctor, the newspapers checked with what you told me. The girl and young Garth went out for a ride in your limousine last night. Your car was driven by one of your handymen. That's right. Haines, his name is. And they never came back. Young Garth was found dead in the car with two bullets in him. Girl was gone. And also Haynes, the handyman chauvin. Correct, sir. Have you any idea where he could be? No, sir. And the young lady? Tell me about her. She's Diana Lawrence, daughter of Michael Lawrence, sculptor. The sculptor. She lives with him in a small cottage near my sanatorium on Berry Hill Lane. An extremely aggressive and self centered female with more than a slight flare for violence. Your description might easily lead me to suspect her of this murder, sir. I'm aware of that. And I don't think you'll be far off the mark. As I told you on the phone, she tried to murder me yesterday morning. The police have made no headway in locating her? No. The Homicide Division has contacted her father, but he's remained quite non committal. He simply says that he's sure she's incapable of killing a fly and that he hasn't laid eyes on her since 8:00 last night, early. Suspicious behavior. She was unquestionably in the car with young Garth when he was murdered. She wasn't alone in the car with him. You were. You're referring to Haines? Yes, but he can't be found either. Remember? It appears that he failed to list his address on his job application. But somehow, Mr. Wolf, I'm quite sure he'll show up this afternoon. Somehow, Dr. Townley, if I were you, I wouldn't be quite so sure. You must begin by facing the initial problem of locating our suspects. Archie. Yes, sir. Get out the car and drive up to the house on Berryhill Lane. And then there you will ask Mr. Michael Lawrence to be sensible enough to cooperate with us in finding his daughter. And if the answer is no, I recommend, Archie, that you flatly refuse to take it. Mr. Lawrence was no simple baby to handle. He was in a studio when I walked in, chiseling on a statue of a boy and a girl, both wearing less clothes than the law allowed. And before I got a chance to state my name, he commenced giving me a free lecture on the monster marble work of art. She's good, really good. She's practically superb. The Ariadne. The what? I had me. The girl in the statue. Oh, that's Ariadne, tragic nymph of Greek mythology. Don't tell me you're not familiar with Apollo and Ariadne? All right, I won't. The Apollo, on the other hand, is unfinished. The face, you see, it. It lacks something. The passion of yearning. Olympian desire. And yet, you know, the two figures have motion. Like your daughter. Your daughter, Diana. She's got motion Also, as I hear it, she's been in motion ever since she murdered Willard Garth last night in the back end of a limousine. So you're another flat foot. Not exactly. I'm paid in private by Nero Wolf. Nero Wolf? Yeah. You don't mean that a creditable man like Wolf thinks Diana killed young Gar? Well, he'd like to talk over the possibility with how laughable. Look at that face. Is there anything of the murderous in a face like that? In a face like what? Oh, I'm sorry. Diana posed for the Ariadne, you see, and the likeness is exact. You think a girl of this type, classic, sensitive, civilized, could descend to the clumsy brute level of murder? Well, it's a little hard to imagine there. Even you agree with me. On the other hand. Shall we discuss the other hand over a cup of coffee? I'm quite exhausted. If you insist. I do sit down and inhale the atmosphere of culture at its source. There's a pot warming on the stove. Pot of what? Coffee or culture? Well, wait to see what he means. Never ignore a phone call. Nose. Might be something important. Yes? It's Diana, Father. Oh. Oh, yes, Diana. It's all over the papers. Yes, I know. Well, I. I don't think they'll find me where I am. And I'm staying here until things quiet down a little. Where are you, honey? What did you say? I said, where are you? You said honey. Daddy, you never call me honey. I know, it's because I'm excited. Where are you, sweetheart? Well, you mustn't let anybody find out. Not a soul in the world. Where are you? You know where Tyne pike turns off to the left beyond Bartsville. Yeah, well, I'm. Call me later, angel. But Father. Oh, get that motorman's number. You will live, my friend, but not long if you don't control your curiosity with that mallet you hit. What was the big idea? You really have to ask that question? Where are you trying to trick my daughter into disclosing her whereabouts? The police are pretty interested in her whereabouts. Then let them find her. But you can't be surprised, my friend, if I choose to protect Diana's interests. So he's working on an Apollo and Ariadne, is he? Actually, who cares about Apollo and Ariadne? The point is how he worked on my gorgeous. That, of course, is unfortunate, my boy. But you get that piece. Hello, Inspector Kramer. Hold it for you here. Yes, Wolf. How are you, Inspector? I hear you're in on the Garth killing. Not very deeply I am afraid. We are still trying to locate the Lawrence girl. Well, you can forget about that. Yes, we've already located her and released her on a habeas corpus. Sound interesting. Her father had a lawyer on our heads before she was in here 10 minutes. Too bad you couldn't have held onto her. I don't know. I'm not so sure we want her. Why not? Well, first of all, it's not likely she did it. No? No. Ballistic stated that the bullets that killed Willard Garth were not fired from point blank range. And she was sitting beside him on the back seat. I see. Also, we found the murder weapon in the grass near where the limousine was parked, and she admitted it was hers. That sounds like a poor reason to release him. Well, the point is she wasn't in possession of the gun when the killing happened. At least, so she says. No. Who? What? That doctor. What doctor? Townley, the guy who runs that sanitarium. According to her, he took the gun away from her for safekeeping. At noon yesterday, there was a little more talk between them. Something about fresh cigar ashes that were found in the dashboard ashtray of the linnison. After that, the boss hung up and exerted himself enough to put a call through to the townley sanatorium. I'm afraid the doctor is very busy just now, sir. My. My business happens to be highly important. Well, I'll say you called Mr. Wolfe and I'll ask him to contact you just as soon as he has a free moment. Do you happen to have a free moment, miss? Why, yes, sir. Could you spend it by telling me if that handyman, Mr. Haynes, is being located? Why, yes, as a matter of fact, he has. One of the staff just found out where he lives, Mr. Wolf. Well, he has a little cottage at 206 Dockside Road. That's out near sheepshead bay. Thank you, Archie. I'm going someplace. I suppose you are. You're going to sheepshead bay. Hello there. Looking for a guy I can't find. Oh, yeah, his name is Haynes. Stopped at the cottage up there, but there's no one there. And I saw you here on the wharf fishing, so I. What did you say his name is? Haines. H a I n e s. Ah. Oh, Haynes, Yeah. Do you know him? Well, he's a fellow named hines. Used to fish. No, no, not hines, Haynes. Couldn't be Huntingberg. No, it couldn't be. The name is haines. H a I n haynes. Give me your hand here. Well, what do you know? Funny, huh? That guy seems to think my name is haynes. So do I. You do? Yes, I. I got back to our house soaked to the skin and minus hanes. And just in time to see the boss in the exhausting process of walking across the room to answer the phone. Hello, this is Dr. Townley. You called me. So I did. About the murder. More specifically, about the statement from Diana lawrence that you removed a firearm from her possession yesterday morning. That's quite correct. It's here at my majonica cabinet. Is it? Of course it is. I suggest you check just a moment, Mr. Wolf? Yes? I'd like to see you at once. Gun. I suppose it's vanished. But how did you know? Because it is at ballistics, doctor. Turned out to be the gun that killed Willard Garth. I. I see. Do you? Yes, I understand everything now. It's all so crystal clear. Just how crystal clear? I'm quite certain, Mr. Wolf, that I can put my finger on the killer. And I think it would be well if you came here immediately. I'm afraid it's impossible, sir. There's an important operation schedule and I simply cannot leave. What do you suggest? Well, is it outside the realm of possibility that you come here? Is it, Mr. Wolf? Hello, Mr. Wolfe. Mr. Wolf. When my boss has to leave the house, it's a major tragedy. Sometimes he rages, sometimes he curses. The whole detective business, lock, stock and barrel. And sometimes he keeps very quiet and grips the side of the car desperately and tries not to inhale any fresh air. This was one of the quiet times. Just go slowly, Archie, but get there as quickly as you can. Oh, you don't want to show for Mr. Wolf. What you need is a magician. Keep your eye on the road and don't strain yourself to make superfluous witticisms. Why don't you try relaxing a little? I hear there hasn't been a man eating tiger sighted on the Sawmill River Parkway in the last 500 years. Your liberty is out of order. Don't try to make light of it. A plural situation. Here's the sanatorium and there's Dr. Townley coming to meet us. It's terribly nice of you to have come, Mr. Wolf. I've heard about your aversion to traveling and I appreciate your going to the trouble. Don't mention. Oh, Archie, help me out with my other arm. There we are. Now, calm down. You're all in one piece. I think you'll find the trip highly profitable, Mr. Wolfe. You'll consider it time. Very well. Hey. Hey. What's the matter? What is it? What happened? He's been shot. Very likely. There wasn't a sound. This kind of shot doesn't make a sound, boss. What do you mean? Better take a look for yourself. There's an arrow in his back and he's dead. We remembered that Dr. Townley had said Diana Lawrence had won the Women's national archery tournament for 1947. The Lawrence House was visible through the trees a hundred yards away, so we started for it. And the sculptor's studio. There's no one around, so this is his latest effort. Apollo and Ariadne? Yeah. Done a little work on it since I was here. The Apollo's face is more finished and. Hey, boss? Yes? You know, somehow or other Apollo looks a little familiar. I wouldn't be surprised, Archie. I think if you examine him closely. Ah, our host. You remember me, don't you? I met you once at a dinner party at your house. The time they opened the new museum on 67th Street. Of course. Of course, Mr. Lawrence. And to what do I owe the honor? It's not much of an honor. Dr. Townley has been murdered. No, I am afraid Mr. Goodwin is being accurate. He's been murdered with a bow and arrow. And what does that mean to you, Mr. Lawrence? I'm sorry. I've been a fool. An awful fool. You can't blame yourself too much. If you'd cooperated with the police instead of looking out for your daughter's interest, the man would still be alive, I assure you. Where's the girl? She should be here now. She phoned me a while ago and said she was coming by for passage money to riot. You were looking for me, boss? Diana. Put the gun down, angel, and tie a rope around my neck. Might I inquire if your plan is to kill us all, Ms. Lawrence, what would yours be if the world was after you for something you didn't do? Wouldn't you be willing to risk persuading a jury of that? Thanks. No, I'll skip that chance. Father. Father, get me the money. Diana, sweetheart, don't make me a part of your murders. That's asking too much of love. Don't you know I'm not guilty? No. No, Diana. I don't leave that gun late. Diana. He looks like I walked in on the nose. That's him, boss. The guy who soused me. Take a little of your own advice. Relax, Auntie. What do you want here, Mr. Haynes? I want to give up and try to straighten out this little deal. Mr. Lawrence. Yes? Here's your money back. You got a right to call me a welcher. I promised I wouldn't give evidence against the girl. And you paid my price. But enough is enough. And right here and now I'm unloading. Yes. What does this mean? It means I saw her do it. Oh, you. You stupid, lying, rotten. Oh, yeah. Grab her, Archie, Grab her. Get a pair of them out of here. What can I say to myself now? What can I do? I'm sorry, Mr. Lawrence. It's not necessary to eat your heart out. Many fathers before you have done their best and failed. But I had a Special duty toward Diana. Special duty? Yes, I. Well, you see, you find it out sooner or later, so I'd best tell you now. I'm not a real father. I adopted her nine years ago when she was 14. I see. And I should never have done it. I realize now that I wasn't equal to the task. Well, well, well. Not lost yet. I mean, I'd convictly, you know. Yeah, I said, they may not convict her. How could they fail to convict her? She killed Garth, didn't she? Did she? She shot him. But the gun was in townless possession. She could easily have stolen that. She could have broken into his office later. It wasn't locked. What wasn't locked? The Majolica Cabinet. I mean. I believe you mean what you said, Lawrence. The Majolica Cabinet. Over the life of me, I can't see how you could know whether it was locked or not. Unless you had the experience of opening it. Could it be that you went looking for the gun yourself after Townly said he had confiscated it? That you killed Townley with a bow and arrow, which you handle as well as your daughter. Because he was just on the point of telling me that you knew where the gun was. And that you were the likeliest murder suspect. You must be mad. Oh, sir, not I. But you are mad. And more than a little. You hated Willard Gar. It was you who were making the marriage impossible. You loathed him, and in the end you kill him. How could I have killed him? I tell you a little secret, Mr. Lawrence. The police found cigar ash in the dashboard tray of the death car. Chemical analysis showed that the ash was from an El Adoro cigar. What have you got in your left hand, sir? In my Anello cigar and in my right hand, a Derringer. Powerful and admirable little weapon, Lance. I suggest you show proper respect for it by dropping all this here and now. You don't wish to hear me say the rest? That you were horribly in love with Diana, your own adopted daughter. In love and hopelessly, eternally frustrated. You begrudge me the triumph of accusing you of having bribed Haines to let you take his place at the driver's seat of the limousine. And further bribed and threatened him into putting on his show of many pranks and false confessions. To confuse us all beyond measure. You said, I love Diana. Would I do all this to her if I did? Oh, but of course. Such love as yours is really hate. You will content to see her dead rather than relinquish her like all miserly small Hearted men. You would rather kill the thing you love than muster the generosity necessary just seeing it attain having it. That's enough out of you. I should think it was much too much. It is, Archie, my boy. I'm grateful to you both for coming back into the house when you did and for being such a good shot. Hope you remember that next time you feel like insulting me. Hmm? Tell me, what's with that cigar ash routine? Who told you the ashes in the limousine were from an Elidoro, boss? I never heard anything about that. As a matter of fact, neither did I. No one could possibly have determined the brand by any chemical means in existence. I knew that, you see, and I took the long chance that Lawrence didn't. Aha. But I still don't get the mainspring of the deal. How did you know he was in love with Diana? That that was genius. I have to admit it. You see, it all hinged on the statue of Apollo and Ariadne. According to the Greek myth, Apollo fell deeply in love with the nymph, but because they were of different wares, he was condemned to pursue her always and never to catch her. Well, what's that got to do with the price of eggs? Isn't it perfectly obvious? Didn't he tell you that Diana had posed for the Ariadne? Yeah, but I still don't. And you yourself remarked on the fact that the finished Apollo look look somehow familiar, didn't you, Archie? Yeah. Yeah, it did. Don't you know why that was? You mean. I mean. And Michael Lawrence unconsciously revealed the true state of his heart. He didn't intend to, I suppose, but precisely and accurately, he chiseled the features of the tortured God in his very own inning. Oh, and speaking of torture. Yeah? Will we be home in time for dinner? Oh, boss, you can't be that hungry. Oh, yeah. Good heavens. Did you realize they haven't eaten since lunch? You have been listening to the new Adventures of Nero Wolf, starring Sydney Greenspeak. Tonight's transcribed story by Peter Barry was based on the characters created by Rex Doubt. This is an Edwin Fadiman program, produced and directed by J. Donald Wilson. In the character cast were Larry Dobkin as Archie Goodwin and Gigi Pearson, Ted Von Eltz, Bill Johnstone, Peter Leeds and Jay Novello. Next week at this same time, Nira Wolf and Archie will bring you the case of the brave rabbit. Don Stanley speaking. There's fun and laughs later tonight when Ed Archie Gardner stars as Archie, the manager in Duffy's Tavern. As usual, Duffy won't be there, but Archie will be there, armed with his own whimsical version of the English language. Another Friday favorite you'll hear later is the delightful Life of Riley, starring William Bendy as Chester A. Reilly. There's more from Peter Troy, Nero Wolf, Case Closed and all of the Relic radio podcasts@ Relicradio.com. you'll find our shoutcast stream there as well, with even more Old Time Radio and a donate button if you'd like to help support this and all of the shows. Thanks to those who have helped out. Thanks for joining me this week. Be back again next Wednesday with another hour of Case Closed.