Peter Troy and Peter Chambers

Summary

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Case Closed! – “Peter Troy and Peter Chambers”

Podcast: Case Closed! (RelicRadio.com)
Episode Date: November 12, 2025
** Stories:**

1. Walk Softly, Peter Troy: The Marauding Mademoiselles (1964)
2. Crime and Peter Chambers: Murder Suspect (1954)

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Overview

This episode of Case Closed! spotlights two hard-boiled private detectives from golden age radio—Peter Troy and Peter Chambers. The featured episodes explore the perils and pitfalls of detection through a pair of stylish yet distinctly dangerous cases: one involving a murderous, blackmailing family of women, and another that finds a private eye framed for murder thanks to a carefully-constructed set-up. Through razor-sharp banter, period-evocative narration, and twisting plots, both tales evoke the classic noir sensibility of mid-20th-century radio crime drama.

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1. “Walk Softly, Peter Troy: The Marauding Mademoiselles”

(March 3, 1964, begins ~01:03)

Main Theme

Peter Troy, a private investigator, is drawn into the hunt for twin “marauding mademoiselles” robbing and blackmailing motorists in the English countryside—only to wind up their latest target.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Unfolding

The Hitchhiking Setup & Crime Spree (01:32–04:37)

• Troy’s view on trouble: “It isn’t that way at all… I always seem to be right there in the middle when trouble takes it into its head to erupt. Pure coincidence.” (Peter Troy, 01:32)
• Bettina and Belinda, posing as French twins, lure men (including police) into stopping for them before robbing and, in at least one case, murdering their victim.
• Troy himself becomes a victim—drugged and robbed, though the loot appears curiously unimportant.

First Insights and Clues (05:20–10:33)

• The twins discover Troy’s PI license and realize they’ve targeted the wrong type of victim.
• After Troy recovers, he processes inconsistencies: nothing is stolen, victims are reluctant to talk, and evidence (hair color, accents) is inconsistent.
• Forensics reveal black hair on Troy’s car seat; Troy deduces their blonde appearance is a disguise.

The Blackmail Theory & Investigation (10:33–14:11)

• Inspector Caswell and Troy analyze the victims and discover all were on their way to see one lawyer, Jeffrey Ambrose, and all took large sums from their banks soon after being robbed—suggesting blackmail, not random theft, is the true motive.
• Victims’ reluctance to cooperate stems from the compromising materials being used against them.

“Maybe it does if you forget the robbery motive and concentrate on another angle. Blackmail.”
— Inspector Caswell (08:27)

The Ambrose Family’s Role (15:23–17:20)

• Scenes shift to Mrs. Ambrose and the twins, revealing the criminal operation is a family business—planning, covering mistakes, and ratcheting up precautions.
• Mrs. Ambrose is controlling, calculating, and fears Troy is a threat.

The Confrontation and Unmasking (18:32–23:42)

• Troy tracks down the household using a local directory, confronts Mrs. Ambrose, and identifies the daughter as one of the marauding twins, catching them in their own web when he points out their lack of police involvement after his detainment.
• Troy points out the perfume and hair color—as well as the scam’s details—to corner Belinda and Bettina.
• In a tense standoff, Troy bluffs about the police presence, triggering confusion that allows him to gain the upper hand.

“It means that there’s another one of these cuties hiding in this house somewhere… only last time she was using a phony French accent.”
— Peter Troy (20:39)

Resolution (23:42–24:35)

• The racket is exposed: family uses their lawyer son’s client list to find vulnerable victims, has the twins pose as hitchhikers to extract documents, then blackmails the men.
• Troy reflects on never knowing which woman actually knocked him out—Bettina or Belinda.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On attracting trouble:
  “If me and Calamity are going to make it permanent… let’s have Calamity easy on the eyes.”
  — Peter Troy (01:32)
• On the disguised twins:
  “They should have had black hair… the skin tone should have gone with dark hair, yet they were blondes.”
  — Peter Troy (10:39)
• Caswell’s summary:
  “We think those victims were carefully chosen. The girls knew that those motorists would be at those specific places at that time.”
  — Inspector Caswell (13:58)

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2. “Crime and Peter Chambers: Murder Suspect”

(May 4, 1954, begins ~26:06)

Main Theme

Peter Chambers, another wisecracking private investigator, is lured into a frame job for murder through a bizarre meeting—milk at a bar—then must dodge the law and solve the murder himself before being indicted.

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Key Discussion Points & Plot Unfolding

The Frame-up (26:06–30:34)

• Chambers, approached mysteriously in a bar by a sophisticated blonde (“Abigail Christenberry”), is asked to her hotel suite, only to be abruptly dismissed after a drink and handed $100.
• That evening, Detective Lieutenant Louie Parker arrives: Abigail is dead, Chambers is the prime suspect—his fingerprints, a diary mentioning a “Pete,” and eyewitnesses put him in the frame.

“A lot of laughs. Because you’re making yourself comfortable on a bar stool…and you’re asking for milk.”
— Peter Chambers (26:06)

Evidence & The Police Case (33:00–34:45)

• The evidence is circumstantial but damning: fingerprints, time of murder matching Chambers’ visit, diary entries about a Pete threatening her.
• Chambers realizes: although he had drinks with Abigail, only his glass has prints, because “Abigail” never took off her gloves.

Cracking the Alibi & Seeing Double (35:03–40:36)

• Chambers realizes the only way his story fits is if the woman he saw wasn’t Abigail Christenberry, but an impostor.
• At Abigail's brother Timothy York's apartment, Chambers recognizes the “dead” Abigail as Timothy’s wife—her sister-in-law.
• She is conveniently about to leave for Florida, providing a perfect alibi.

The Real Culprits Caught (41:04–45:05)

• Chambers instructs Parker to detain Mrs. Timothy York before she disappears.
• He confronts the bartender (her accomplice and lover), reveals her betrayal to leverage a confession, and gets the full story: Mrs. York and the bartender killed Abigail to get her wealth, planning to frame Chambers (and the diary reference to “Pete”) as the fall guy.

“She says it was all your idea... She says you're number one. She's using a method.”
— Peter Chambers (44:43)

Scheme Explained & Resolution (45:23–47:52)

• Mrs. York, with the bartender as an accomplice and her husband inheriting, planned to kill Abigail, frame Chambers, head to Switzerland with her soon-widowed husband (planning another “accident” there).
• With both culprits in custody and double confessions, Chambers is off the hook, grateful for his friend’s faith in him.

Epilogue (47:52–48:24)

• Parker and Chambers share a drink, reflecting on patience, friendships—and lessons learned about what (and what not) to order at a whiskey bar.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the elaborate setup:
  “Fired before you get hired. Everything happens to the private eye.”
  — Peter Chambers (30:40)
• The detective’s eureka moment:
  “She was wearing a suit and gloves and she didn't take the gloves off... That's the only logical explanation for her lack of fingerprints.”
  — Peter Chambers (35:21)
• On being framed:
  “With Mrs. Timothy York in Florida, I’d be in it up to my neck.”
  — Peter Chambers (46:43)
• Lesson in detective work:
  “Don’t lose patience. And don’t lose confidence in a friend, even if you’re a cop.”
  — Lieutenant Louie Parker (47:55)
• On bar etiquette:
  “Don’t drink milk at a whiskey bar, not unless you’ve got an ulcer.”
  — Peter Chambers (48:02)

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Timestamps for Pivotal Segments

• Peter Troy intro, first attack: 01:03–04:37
• Discovery of Troy as a victim: 05:20
• Forensic clues, blackmail theory: 10:06–14:11
• Family criminal conspiracy revealed: 15:23
• Troy’s confrontation at the Ambrose home: 18:32–23:42
• Frame-up begins for Peter Chambers: 26:06–34:45
• Chambers’ realization (“she wore gloves”): 35:03
• The double/twin twist revelation: 39:18–40:36
• Chambers confronts the bartender, unravels plot: 42:18–45:05
• Resolution and moral reflection: 47:55–48:24

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Tone & Style

Both stories feature rapid banter, observant narration, and a mix of wry humor and suspense. The ironic, first-person private eye style is present throughout (“It wasn’t so difficult figuring it out…” “Everything happens to the private eye…”). Sharp dialogue, clever misdirection, and an underlying skepticism about human nature color both tales.

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Transcript

[Host]

Welcome back to Case Closed, your weekly hour of mystery and crime from the golden age of radio every Wednesday@ Relicradio.com a quick reminder, if you'd like to help support this and all of the relic radio shows, now would be a good time. Donate.rolocradio.com or click on one of the support links in the show notes. Your support makes this show and all of relic radio possible and has since 2007. And thank you as always to those who have helped out. We're going to hear first this week from. From Walk Softly Peter Troy. We'll hear his story from March 3rd, 1964 titled the Marauding Crime. And Peter Chambers follows that with Peter Chambers, murder suspect. His story from May 4th, 1954.

[Peter Chambers]

Being a private investigator means two things.

[Peter Troy]

You can be sure you'll run into trouble and you can never be sure you get out of it. Well, there's not much you can do about it, I guess, except like Julie.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Always says, walk softly, Peter Troy.

[Inspector Caswell]

Now Peter Troy investigates the case of the marauding mademoiselles.

[Peter Troy]

Julie, as you've probably noticed, has often been heard to remark on my undoubted talent for attracting trouble. Now here I have to protest it isn't that way at all. It's just that I always seem to be right there in the middle when trouble takes it into its head to erupt. Pure coincidence. And Julie goes on to say that this trouble I attract usually wears skirts and high heel shoes. Well, the way I look at it is this. If me and Calamity are going to make it permanent, I then at least let's have Calamity easy on the eyes. And talking of calamity, that's easy on the eyes. Let me introduce you to a double sample of it. And the shapely shapes of Bettina and Belinda. Two of the most adorable bundles of pure calamity anyone would wish to meet.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

It was so good of you to give us a lift, monsieur. Oh oui, we are most grateful.

[Inspector Caswell]

Ay, my pleasure girls, my pleasure. Yeah. Your.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Oui, Monsieur.

[Inspector Caswell]

Holidaying in England?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

A working holiday, Monsieur. Which reminds me, this has been very pleasant but now we must think about work.

[Inspector Caswell]

What sort of work do you do?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Stop the car, monsieur, and we shall show you Just a disembankment. Sibou play Pull to the side. Do not make any trouble, please.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Neitherwise my sister will use the gun, monsieur.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Good.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Now.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Okay Bettina, search him. I'll keep a watch out. Nice fat wallet. £100 or more. Good. Nice signet ring. Gold wrist watch. And gold cigarette case. That's about the lot. Okay, turn the wheel. Take off the handbrake. Come on, I think we can push this great hulking car, Belinda. Sure, it's on an incline. Let's go. There she goes. Well, that seems to be that sister mine. All right now let's get away from here just as quickly as we can. I wonder if we don't have time to worry about that.

[Peter Troy]

A charming paracuties, huh? Well, some three hours later the police were called to the spot. And when they dragged the motorist from the ruins of his expensive limousine, they found him very dead. The marauding memoiselles had now added murder to their other undoubted talents. Of course, that hitchhiking gimmick couldn't miss. I mean, well, what red blooded male citizen could ignore two beautiful girls stranded at the side of the road? Two gals obviously thumbing a lift. Well, not me. Oh, certainly not Mrs. Troy's own son.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Do not make any trouble, please. Otherwise my sister will use a gun.

[Peter Chambers]

Monsieur.

[Peter Troy]

Oh, come on now. What sort of a gag is this?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

This is no joke, monsieur. I assure you, you don't.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Honestly, you talk too much, monsieur.

[Peter Troy]

You know something? This could give me a complex about picking up hitchhikers in the future.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

You are pleased to joke at this time. We are not joking, monsieur. I promise you that. And I shall prove it to you. All right. Search him, Belinda. He was rather nice, wasn't he? Never mind that. What's the haul? Wallet's a bit thin. Oh, no. What's the matter? There's only £6 in it. Letters? No. In fact, libertina.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

What?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

His driving license. Well, it's made out to a Peter Troy.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Troy.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Listen to this. Metropolitan Police license to practice as a. A private investigator.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Oh, no.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

We've made a mistake. You can say that again. Let's get away from here. What about him? He'll have to be silent. Oh, no, not again. But we can't leave him here alive. Listen. Car coming. Get out your side. Quick. Into the ditch. A new dread. Shut up and keep down.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Real loose.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

It was too close. Just look at my dress. Oh, forget that. What are we going to do about him? Oh, we have just another car. Let's get out of this. But Troy. No time to worry about him. He's coming to now, Inspector.

[Inspector Caswell]

Oh, must have a head like Carson.

[Peter Troy]

Oh, brother, my aching head.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

It's all right, Pete. Julie, you're in Hartford District Hospital, huh?

[Inspector Caswell]

Yes, and by rights you should be in Hartford Cemetery.

[Peter Troy]

What are you doing here, Caswell?

[Inspector Caswell]

What do you think?

[Peter Troy]

Troy, just leave me to die in peace, will you?

[Inspector Caswell]

Ah, listen, the doctors say you can be discharged.

[Peter Troy]

Oh, thanks, but I think I'll rest here a while.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Oh, Pete, what happened?

[Peter Troy]

Well, I got bopped, that's what happened. My head feels like it doesn't belong to me.

[Inspector Caswell]

They're little spitfires, weren't they?

[Peter Troy]

Yeah, and how did you know?

[Inspector Caswell]

Oh, we've been after them for months, Troy.

[Peter Troy]

You mean I'm not there first?

[Inspector Caswell]

Listen, last week they killed a man. Well? Well, what can you tell me about them?

[Peter Troy]

Well, they were rather small, slim, golden haired and French. Well, that's what they wanted me to believe.

[Inspector Caswell]

What?

[Peter Troy]

Now, look, I spent a lot of time in France, Inspector, and I.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

And he would have met more mademoiselles, that monsieur.

[Peter Troy]

Well, yeah, that's a fact.

[Inspector Caswell]

Yeah, but our victim said they spoke with a French accent.

[Peter Troy]

Phony as a two dollar bill, Inspector.

[Inspector Caswell]

You sure?

[Peter Troy]

I'm sure. They.

[Inspector Caswell]

They were twins, huh?

[Peter Troy]

Identical.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Oh, Peter, I got your effects from the hospital. This?

[Peter Troy]

You mean what's left of them?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Well, that's just it. I don't think there's anything missing.

[Peter Troy]

What? Let me see. Driving license papers, six quid. Well, there's not a darn thing missing. That doesn't make very much sense.

[Inspector Caswell]

No, it doesn't, doesn't it? My car in the Hartford police car compound. They're going over it for Prince.

[Peter Troy]

They won't find any. Both the gals wore gloves. Oh.

[Inspector Caswell]

Tell me, what were you doing on that road anyway?

[Peter Troy]

I have a buddy lives in Watton Green, just north of Hartford. We played soldiers during the war.

[Inspector Caswell]

I see him.

[Peter Troy]

Look, Inspector, if those cuties are making a habit of this, surely you must have some leads.

[Inspector Caswell]

That's just it, Troy. We have surprisingly little to go on.

[Peter Troy]

Yeah, but the other victims told us.

[Inspector Caswell]

Only as much as they had. Told What?

[Peter Troy]

Well, how do you mean?

[Inspector Caswell]

They were very reluctant to give us any details.

[Peter Troy]

Well, that doesn't make any sense either.

[Inspector Caswell]

Maybe it does if you forget the robbery motive and concentrate on another angle.

[Peter Troy]

What other angle?

[Inspector Caswell]

Blackmail.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Fools. You stupid fools. But, Mother, two mistakes in one week and either of them could prove fatal.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

We couldn't help it.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I warned you. I warned you how careful we'd have to be. Mother, listen, this man Troy, has a reputation.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Well, what do we do, Mother?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I don't know. I have to think. The important thing is to lie low for a little while. The police can handle them if they come around. In the meantime, take your makeup off and put those wigs away.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Tron. Peter, he Was very nice looking, Mother. Had nice eyes. He was rugged, but I remember that he had nice eyes.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I hope you still think that when he stands up in court and gives evidence against you.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

No, he won't do that. You'll look after it. You always do.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

There may come a time when I'm not around to help you.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Mother. Ring for Joshua and let's have a cup of tea. I could use one.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

It'll be ready for you when you've changed. And put the wigs away. I wish those wigs weren't necessary. Hide your lovely blue black hair.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

And that lovely blue black hair makes us stand out a mile.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Yes, I know, I know.

[Peter Troy]

You know, Julie, something about the whole setup bothers me. Something I can't put my finger on.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Oh, he just about gets his skull split open and he says something bothers him.

[Peter Troy]

Well, by that I mean there's something incongruous somewhere along the line. Inspector, what did the lab boys find in my car?

[Inspector Caswell]

Remarkably little, actually.

[Peter Troy]

Oh, come on now.

[Inspector Caswell]

Well, I.

[Peter Troy]

Well now don't be coy, Caswell.

[Inspector Caswell]

All right then, who's your dark haired lady friend? What? They found some long black hair on the back of the car seat. Just a few strands, but most unusual. Blue? Black.

[Peter Troy]

I haven't had a dark haired woman in my car since I don't know when.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

And I don't dye my hair.

[Peter Troy]

It really is this color and believe me, I. Hey, wait a minute. That could be it.

[Inspector Caswell]

What?

[Peter Troy]

A dark haired woman would have different skin coloring to a honey blonde, now wouldn't she?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Yes, of course.

[Peter Troy]

Maybe that's what bothered me about those girls. They should have had black hair. The skin tone should have gone with dark hair, yet they were blondes.

[Inspector Caswell]

Oh, now how the devil could you.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Believe me, Inspector, on these matters? Pete's an expert. The study of the female of the species is his particular hobby.

[Inspector Caswell]

All right.

[Peter Troy]

So surely to goodness, finding a pair of raven haired twins who have a talent for the gentle art of the stick up shouldn't be too difficult, should it?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Well, the Inspector hasn't found them to date, Pete.

[Peter Troy]

Yeah, but to date I wasn't involved.

[Inspector Caswell]

Troy. There's no fee in this.

[Peter Troy]

That's all right, Caswell. This one's on the house. I'm going to find those gals and I'm going to explain to them the error of their ways. And I'm going to do it either with police help or without. Now let's get down to business, shall we? I learned a lot from Inspector Caswell. For one thing, I learned that he and a team of Scotland Yard men had been after the twins for a long time. I also learned that there'd been seven victims before me. But that I had been the only one ready and willing to squawk. The others had seemed unwilling to cooperate with the police. The big question was why. Caswell believed it was because they were ashamed of having been taken in by the girls. But I couldn't go along with that. I've got as much pride as the next man. And I hadn't been ashamed. Just mad. Awful map.

[Inspector Caswell]

There are a lot of puzzles in this case, Troy. And this isn't the least of them. This is a map of the county of Hertfordshire. Those crosses are the places where the twins have struck.

[Peter Troy]

They seem to form a rough circle.

[Inspector Caswell]

That's correct. A circle with the village of Bramfield as its axis.

[Peter Troy]

It could be a red herring, of course.

[Inspector Caswell]

Yeah, it could be. But I have a feeling it isn't. You see, in each case, the girls are on the side of the road. And the victims say there were no other cars in sight for a couple of miles either way. Therefore, it's reasonable to assume that they walked to the spot.

[Peter Troy]

And after they'd bobbed their victims, either.

[Inspector Caswell]

They had the car hidden off the road, or they must have made their escape by foot. Now, not one of the attacks was made further than eight or nine miles from Bramfield. They could have got back there across the countryside, virtually unseen.

[Peter Troy]

Okay, I'll go along with that. But there's one point you haven't elaborated on. As I recall, you mentioned blackmail.

[Inspector Caswell]

Yes, that's right.

[Peter Troy]

You want to tell me about that?

[Inspector Caswell]

No, I don't want to, but I suppose I'll have to. You see, each of the victims was on his way to the town of Welwyn. And each victim had something else in common. What's that? They all had the same lawyer, Mr. Jeffrey Ambrose of Welwyn.

[Peter Troy]

And were they all on their way to see the guy? Yes. Ambrose. I know something about that fellow.

[Inspector Caswell]

Seems to me I've heard.

[Peter Troy]

Oh, yeah? Yes.

[Inspector Caswell]

In America, they call him a shyster lawyer.

[Peter Troy]

I remember now. He uses all the legal shenanigans in the book.

[Inspector Caswell]

A couple of magistrates have already warned him. He's been very nearly debarred from practicing.

[Peter Troy]

You know, that's really interesting.

[Inspector Caswell]

There's more to come.

[Peter Troy]

Suggest.

[Inspector Caswell]

Well, apart from the one that died, all the victims made large withdrawals from their bank accounts shortly after their respective attacks.

[Peter Troy]

Which explains your blackmail theory.

[Inspector Caswell]

Yes, and their reluctance to cooperate with the police.

[Peter Troy]

A typical blackmail pattern.

[Inspector Caswell]

Now, we're in the process of investigating their backgrounds. We might just uncover something interesting.

[Peter Troy]

Now, if your blackmail theory holds up and the hitchhiker texts weren't made at random.

[Inspector Caswell]

You're catching on, Troy. We think those victims were carefully chosen. The girls knew that those motorists would be at those specific places at that time. They were waiting for them.

[Peter Troy]

What about me?

[Inspector Caswell]

I think you were a mistake.

[Peter Troy]

You mean there was someone else due to be traveling that road in a similar type of car to mine?

[Inspector Caswell]

Correct. And this time they'd chosen a woman. Apparently, she was following close behind you. In fact, it was she who found you and reported it to us.

[Peter Troy]

Another prospective blackmail victim.

[Inspector Caswell]

Yes, that's right.

[Peter Troy]

Okay. I have one last question.

[Inspector Caswell]

Yes?

[Peter Troy]

Why are you telling me all this? You usually don't confide the details of your cases to me.

[Inspector Caswell]

My dear fellow, you've been involved in this unpleasantness. You're entitled to know what it's all about.

[Peter Troy]

Since when have I been entitled to anything as far as you're concerned? Well, I guess I'll be on my way.

[Inspector Caswell]

Keep out of trouble, Troy.

[Peter Troy]

Easier said than done, Inspector.

[Inspector Caswell]

No. Hello? Sergeant Dixon? Inspector Caswell here. Listen, Peter Troy has just left my office heavy and tailed William. He's just itching for trouble. I want to know about it when it hits him.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

The thing that worries me most of all is that nothing's been reported in the newspaper yet. Surely that's a good sign, Mother. Not necessarily.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Maybe Troy didn't report it to the police.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

And George Purlieu's death was reported as an accident. Maybe that's what they thought it was. Only fools underestimate the police, Bettina.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Personally, I don't think we have anything to worry about. They can't trace us.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Don't be so sure.

[Inspector Caswell]

Your tea, madam.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Thank you, Joshua. We have it on the little table here. Oh, Joshua.

[Peter Troy]

Yes, madam?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

We shall have to double our precautions from now on.

[Inspector Caswell]

Trouble, madam?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

There could be.

[Inspector Caswell]

I'll be on the lookout.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Your revolver.

[Peter Troy]

I keep it on me all the time, madam.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Good. The ground should be patrolled at night.

[Peter Troy]

Look after that, too.

[Inspector Caswell]

Thank you.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

That'll be all.

[Peter Troy]

Very good, madam.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

And as for you two, one of you must keep out of sight at all times.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Oh, we don't have to go through all that again, do we?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Let me ask you a question, Bettina. How would you like to spend the rest of your life in jail?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

All right, all right.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Remember that you were the ones who made the mistakes. I'm going to have to be the one who rectifies them.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Oh, all right, Mother, you've made your point. We'll do as we're told.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

And your biggest mistake was not in causing George Purdue's death. It was in mistaking this man Peter Troy's car for Edna Gifford's.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

That was Jeffrey's fault. When he rang through, all he said was a grey sedan and the name Gifford. He didn't say whether the driver was a man or a woman.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Jeffrey was being cautious. He issued the instructions as quickly and briefly as he can. Well, we didn't know until it was too late that we had the wrong part.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

It was just rotten luck that the two grey sedans were traveling along the Watton Green Road. Naturally, we stopped the first one that came along.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I have a bad feeling about all this. I have the feeling that Mr. Peter Troy is going to cause us a great deal of trouble in the very near future.

[Inspector Caswell]

After leaving this office, sir, Troy went straight to the nearest post office and he asked for a copy of the Bramfield telephone directory. I checked the book after he'd finished with it.

[Peter Troy]

It was open at the page listing.

[Inspector Caswell]

Names beginning with A. Well, you've got to hand it to Troy. He's no fool. By now he knows the address of a Mrs. Edwina Ambrose Bramfield. From the post office, he went straight to King's Cross station. Bought a ticket for Bramfield?

[Peter Troy]

Yes, sir.

[Inspector Caswell]

Lonigan following him now? Yes, sir. Good. Well, Troy's run true to form. What'll he do next? I wish I knew. He'll probably barge in on Mrs. Ambrose and then. Well, it's anyone's guess. I. I'm not sure she's the one we're after. No. Her son is Geoffrey Ambrose, the lawyer. But she only has one daughter. There are no twins, of course. Ambrose may be working in with his mother. On the other hand, it could all be a blind alley. Still, Troy should sort it out. All right. Order me a car and driver, will you, Johnson? If there are going to be any fireworks and I ought to be in Bramfield, see them go off.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

You have no explanation to offer then, Mr. Troy, as to why you are snooping around our grounds?

[Peter Troy]

None at all, Mrs. Ambrose.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

My manservant would have been quite within his rights to have shot you.

[Peter Troy]

That's right.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I find your attitude most disconcerting, Mr.

[Peter Troy]

Troy. Yes, I should imagine you do, ma'.

[Inspector Caswell]

Am.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Naturally, this is a police matter.

[Peter Troy]

How about that? It is a police matter. And it's been over half an hour since that strong arm boy of yours caught me. Yet you've made no move to Call the police.

[Inspector Caswell]

I wonder why you haven't.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I should first like to know what you were doing here.

[Peter Troy]

Okay, I'll come clean. As it happens I was looking for a couple of girls.

[Inspector Caswell]

Indeed a pair of twins.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Well I'm afraid you were wasting your time. There are no twins in this household. I have one daughter, Belinda.

[Peter Troy]

Just one daughter and another relative in Welwyn. Mr. Geoffrey Ambrose, a lawyer.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

My son Belinda's brother. Can you describe the young ladies you're looking for?

[Inspector Caswell]

Sure.

[Peter Troy]

Last time I saw them they were blondes.

[Inspector Caswell]

Very cute, very curvy. Very deadly.

[Peter Troy]

I still have a lump on the back of my head to qualify that last description of them.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

My daughter has Raven Black hair, Mr. Troy.

[Inspector Caswell]

Oh. May I meet her?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Why?

[Peter Troy]

Just to satisfy my curiosity.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Joshua, ask Mr. Belinda to come in, will you?

[Peter Troy]

Yes madam.

[Inspector Caswell]

You, Troy. Don't try anything.

[Peter Troy]

I wouldn't dream of it Mr.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Troy. You can ask anyone hereabouts. I really do have only one daughter.

[Peter Troy]

So they tell me. I already checked.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Why are you so anxious to find these twin girls?

[Peter Troy]

Because I gave them a lift and they had a funny way of showing their appreciation.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

You wanted to see me mother? Oh I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

This is Mr. Peter Troy, Belinda. He seemed anxious to meet you.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

I'm flattered. I'm pleased to meet you Mr. Troy.

[Inspector Caswell]

Now let me see.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

What's the matter?

[Peter Troy]

I'm just trying to imagine your daughter wearing a blonde wig and a change of lipstick. And a little less eye eyeshadow.

[Inspector Caswell]

Uh huh.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

What does that mean?

[Peter Troy]

It means that there's another one of these cuties hiding in this house somewhere. Mrs. Ambrose. I've met this daughter of yours before. Only the last time she was using a phony French accent. Par la beau francais mamzel.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Mother.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I think this joke of yours has gone far enough Mr.

[Inspector Caswell]

Troy.

[Peter Troy]

Tell me Belinda, were you the one that did the bopping?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

I really don't know what you're talking about Mr.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Troy.

[Peter Troy]

And you still wear the same perfume. In my book that's the clincher. Well Mrs. Ambrose, why don't you call the police?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I said you would be the one who'd cause us all the trouble.

[Inspector Caswell]

Don't try anything Mr. Troy.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

And let me assure you Mr. Troy, that gun Joshua's holding is really loaded. And he knows how to use it.

[Inspector Caswell]

I believe you.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

For the record, as you would put it Mr. Troy, it was my sister Bettina that hit you.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Hello again, Mr. Troy. How's your poor old hind?

[Peter Troy]

You'll understand if I don't get up.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

You are very clever, Mr. Troy. Perhaps too clever.

[Peter Troy]

Oh, it wasn't so difficult figuring it out. Jeffrey Ambrose has quite a reputation. All you have to do is add two and two together. It was blackmail, wasn't it?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

I dislike the word. It has a horrible sound.

[Peter Troy]

And it carries a horrible prison sentence too. Now, let me see if I get the picture right. Jeffrey Ambrose specializes in those difficult, embarrassing cases, doesn't he? People make mistakes and look for a lawyer with special talents to get them out of it.

[Inspector Caswell]

You're talking yourself right into a grave, Troy.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Oh, let him finish. I find him fascinating.

[Peter Troy]

Yeah, well, brother Jeffrey tells the clients with troubles to come along to his Wellwyn office, bringing with them the evidence of their mistakes. He makes an appointment for them. Then he tips off his two darling sisters. They lay in wait with thumb extended. And what man could resist giving them a lift? Once in the car, they cease to be cute, cuddlesome little girls. How am I doing so far?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

He's not very flattering, is he?

[Peter Troy]

One of you bumps the unsuspecting dope. Which one of you? I don't know. Then you relieve the guy of his wallet and any relevant papers. The wallet lends strength to the robbery angle, but it's really the papers that are important. Sometime after the robbery, the guy gets a demand note. Pay up or else the papers fall into the wrong hands.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Yes, you really are remarkably clever, Mr. Troy.

[Peter Troy]

What shall I do with him, Mrs. Ambrose?

[Mrs. Ambrose]

We'll decide that later.

[Peter Troy]

I don't have much time, Mrs. Ambrose. Ever since I left the office of Inspector Caswell of Scotland Yard, a policeman with very big feet has been walking on my tail.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

You're lying.

[Peter Troy]

You hope I am, mother. In fact, if you'd care to look out of the window, you'll probably see a whole flock of Caswell's boys.

[Inspector Caswell]

What?

[Peter Troy]

That's what I was waiting for, buster.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Yeah, Joshua.

[Peter Troy]

It's the oldest dodge in the book, but it never fails to work. You've only got to distract him for a second. One of your ladies better see you that arm of his. Please, Mrs. Ambrose. I never shot a woman yet. But there's always a first time for everything. Let's keep perfectly still. I want of you to pick up that phone and dial through for the local gendarmes.

[Inspector Caswell]

Please.

[Peter Troy]

It was a good racket while it lasted. Jeffrey sent word to his family about his various clients and when they were coming to visit him. Bringing with them, of course, relevant papers. The girls gave up with a hitchhike routine and relieved them of the Documents. Days later, the motorists received threatening demand notes. Pay up or else the papers would be made public. It's all over for them now. But sometimes I lay awake at night and wonder just which of the two marauding mademoiselles it was that hit me over the head. Bettina or Belinda? I never did find out. This is the United States Armed Forces.

[Inspector Caswell]

Radio and Television Service. Satan and Peter Chambers.

[Peter Chambers]

Created by Henry Cain Transcribed and starring Dane Clark. A private investigator, duly licensed and duly sworn. Peter Chambers. You're a private eye. That's your business. Anything else, that's for laughs. This one figures for laughs. A lot of laughs. Because you're making yourself comfortable on a bar stool and you're asking for.

[Peter Troy]

What'll it be, Mac?

[Peter Chambers]

Milk.

[Inspector Caswell]

Milk?

[Peter Chambers]

You heard me, pal. Yes, sir. Milk it is. It's a great big beautiful bar. The Peacock Room. And down at the far end sits a blond, quite a blonde. You like the beige suit and the scarlet blouse and the long beige gloves and the swell of the blonde hair on her shoulders. You like the queer cut of her eyes, upswept at the edges and the green from where you sit. You like the curved red wet lips and the clean line of the eyebrows. But best of all, you like the glass of milk that's sitting there in front of her. What's with the milk today, Mac? Search me. You want to chase it, maybe? Heavy cream. Homogenized. Do me a favor, pal. Yeah, Go be funny somewhere else, will you, please?

[Peter Troy]

Sure, Mac. No offense. You know how it is, Milk.

[Peter Chambers]

The bartender toddles off and the blonde, pushing off her bar stool, toddles forward towards you, sitting as she was, with the bar, hiding half of her. You've been wondering about her legs. Now you cease wondering. No complaints.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Are you eating? Peter Jambury?

[Peter Chambers]

That's me, lady. Doing a workout in the latest bottle fed formula.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

On my request.

[Peter Chambers]

Yes, ma'.

[Peter Troy]

Am.

[Peter Chambers]

And if I'd have known it was you who was requesting it, I'd have really gone to town. Double milk.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

I want to talk to you somewhere alone.

[Peter Chambers]

No objections to that. We're somewhere alone.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

My place.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

How's that?

[Peter Chambers]

Fine, if you tell me where your place is.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Hotel Baldwin, Suite 5 18.

[Peter Chambers]

Good enough. We go now.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

No, no, I'll go first. You come there about.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

About five minutes.

[Peter Chambers]

Oh, real mystery like, huh? Well, I suppose that's the kind of business I'm in. One slight, unimportant bit of information.

[Inspector Caswell]

Yes?

[Peter Chambers]

What's your name?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Abigail. Abigail Christenberry.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

See you later.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Then.

[Peter Chambers]

You fiddle with the milk, giving her five minutes. Then you Hustle out of there and make for the Hotel Baldwin. The elevator takes you up to five and you're at suite 5 18. Well, Mr. Peter Chambers, you're in a fancy sitting room. Abigail Christenberry looks just the same. Beige suit, scarlet blouse, beige gloves. Only in these more intimate surroundings, she looks twice as good.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Will you have a drink, Mr. Peter Chambers?

[Peter Chambers]

I will, Ms. Abigail Christenberry. Only if it's milk. I pass.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

No, I think the milk routine is getting boring. Though it had its. Do you like scotch?

[Peter Chambers]

Scotch?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

I love good scotch. Then for both of us.

[Peter Chambers]

She sets up the drinks neat. Whiskey in a shot glass and a tall glass of soda on the side. One combination for you, one combination for her. Then you're sitting opposite her across a coffee table and you're both sipping your drinks in sort of staring. So just to shake it up, she drops a little bombshell.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

I've changed my mind, Mr.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

Chambers.

[Peter Chambers]

You've changed your mind?

[Inspector Caswell]

About what?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

About retaining you. Oh, there's no longer any need of your service.

[Peter Chambers]

Fired before you get hired. Everything happens to the private eye.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Here you are, sir, for your trouble.

[Peter Chambers]

Hundred dollar bill. Well, that's most generous of you, dear lady.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Now then, good afternoon, Mr. Peter Chambers.

[Peter Chambers]

And a very good afternoon to you, Ms. Abigail Christenberry. So, with a hundred dollar bill clutched in your little hot hand, you go back to the office and attend to business. You could have refused a scene note, but a lady's got to pay some kind of a penalty for having a guy sit around drinking milk for at a cocktail bar. Anyway, you dismiss her as some kind of a gorgeous crackpot, but she doesn't stay dismissed. Because you're home that evening experimenting with imported Swedish herring and well buttered pumpernickel bread.

[Inspector Caswell]

When?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Evening, Pete.

[Peter Chambers]

Ah, Louie Parker.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

May I come in?

[Peter Chambers]

Detective Lieutenant Louie Parker, New York City Police, Homicide. Good cop, good man and good friend.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Spending the evening in Peter?

[Peter Chambers]

Well, I was hoping to, Louie, but my business. Drink, Lieutenant?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

No thanks, I got gas.

[Peter Chambers]

Hunk of herring maybe?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Same gas. Got a little heartburn too.

[Peter Chambers]

How's about some bicarb?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Look, you know a dame by name, Abigail Christenberry?

[Peter Chambers]

Oh, not half as well as I'd like to.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Well, you ain't gonna.

[Peter Troy]

Why not?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

She's dead.

[Peter Chambers]

Dead?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Abigail Christenberry dead. And my boy, they've got you tagged for it.

[Peter Chambers]

Me?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

It's my case, Pete. And you'll notice I come alone. Now, if you've got an out brother, I'd be the happiest guy in the world.

[Inspector Caswell]

Out.

[Peter Chambers]

What the heck Do I need an out for? I didn't kill her.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Well, Pete, the maid comes to suite five eighteen. It's about seven o'.

[Peter Troy]

Clock.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Ms. Abigail is under the bed in a kimono with the back of her head belted in, her face mashed up but bad. You wouldn't know it was a face.

[Peter Chambers]

What's that got to do with me?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

First off, we find your name and address in a pocketbook.

[Peter Chambers]

Well, that's evidence. Gives us a peg.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

So we hang our hat on it. Glasses on the coffee table have fingerprints. We've got your prints on file downtown. We match them, they match.

[Peter Chambers]

Well, is this evidence of murder?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Ah, there's more, fellow.

[Peter Chambers]

More?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

The medical examiner says she got it between 4 and 5 this afternoon. We describe you to the elevator operator and sure enough, you were there at about 4:30.

[Peter Chambers]

Look, Louis, I can explain that.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Can you explain this? Can you explain her diary?

[Inspector Caswell]

Diary?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

For the past eight months. It's about a guy named Pete, that's all. Guy named Pete. About how cute he was, about how in love they were, and then what a louse he is. How he's strictly working her for money. And finally that she's scared of him because he's threatening her. Now we call that evidence.

[Mrs. Ambrose]

What do you call it?

[Peter Chambers]

Evidence. Circumstantial, but evidence nonetheless.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Pete, were you there at 4:30?

[Peter Chambers]

Yes.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Well, give me your side of the story. Did you know the dame?

[Inspector Caswell]

Yes.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Stop agreeing with me. Come on, talk it up.

[Peter Chambers]

Let me see. Kennan, listen. This morning at the office I get a phone call. A dame, no name. She tells me she's got a case for me to meet her at the peacock bar at 4 o'.

[Peter Troy]

Clock.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

All right, so you go to the Peacock Bar. What do you do then?

[Peter Chambers]

I drink milk.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Milk? Oh, now look, this is Louis Parker. You're talking a milk drinker.

[Peter Chambers]

You ain't. Look, it was a way we'd identify ourselves. She'd be drinking milk, I'd be drinking milk. Anyway, she wants a five minute head start and then I'm to meet her at her hotel suite. 5:18 and I get there, it must be over 4:30. We have a couple of drinks and then she bounces me. She says she changed her mind.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

That's your story.

[Peter Chambers]

That's it.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

And you better get your hat. We're going downtown. I'll have to book you.

[Peter Chambers]

Look, Louie, why do you have.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Because we got affidavits, Pete, from all the help in the hotel.

[Peter Chambers]

Affidavits? Well, what do they say?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

They say that Abigail Christenberry did not leave her apartment today. All day, not once.

[Peter Chambers]

It was crazy, but it could jam you. If Louis takes you downtown, the DA's machinery jolts into action. With what they can prove, the grand jury will squirt an indictment at you faster than you could fall off a ferry boat. And suddenly you got it.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

What is it, Pete? I hope it's good, Lori.

[Peter Chambers]

Look, you'll find my fingerprints on a shot glass of whiskey and a tall glass of soda.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Right.

[Peter Chambers]

And opposite that there was another shot glass of whiskey and another glass of soda. And somebody been using them.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Right.

[Peter Chambers]

But you found no fingerprints on that second set. How do I know that?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

How do you know?

[Peter Chambers]

Because the story I told you is true. The dame was wearing a suit and gloves and she didn't take the gloves off.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Yeah, if the dame hadn't been out all day like they told me. And she's found the kimono with her face bashed in. Why should she be wearing gloves?

[Peter Chambers]

That's the only logical explanation for her lack of fingerprints, isn't it?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

That's very good, Pete. I'm glad I came alone. I'm glad I had confidence in you. All right, now what?

[Peter Chambers]

Now we go down to the Peacock Bar so I can straighten you out on some of the truth.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Peacock Bar it is.

[Peter Chambers]

You slip on your holster and you clip your gun into it. And then you're riding crosstown and Parker's car on the way. You ask for questions and Parker supplies the answers.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Abigail Christenberry. A very rich widow. Worth millions. No family at all, except one guy, a brother named Timothy York.

[Peter Chambers]

Timothy York, huh?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Yep.

[Peter Chambers]

And he inherits the millions, is that it?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

He inherits all right, but he's clear, Pete. He works for an ice cream company.

[Peter Chambers]

But he worked all day.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Even had his lunch sent in. There's an office there for 30 people can back it up.

[Peter Chambers]

What kind of a guy?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Why, he's a mousy little type. Pretty old, so maybe 65. Rather young wife, no children. But we've already cut him out as a suspect. He just couldn't have done it. Physically impossible. Dirty, full grown witnesses. Here's your Peacock Bar.

[Peter Chambers]

Yes, gentlemen, what'll it be?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Scotch on two.

[Peter Chambers]

Hello.

[Peter Troy]

Well, the milk drinker.

[Peter Chambers]

Hiya, Mac.

[Inspector Caswell]

Hi.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Oh, my friend drinks milk.

[Peter Chambers]

Good way to cushion yourself for a bender. Drink milk in the afternoon.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Go on.

[Peter Chambers]

Tell them about the other milk drinker.

[Inspector Caswell]

Other milk drinker?

[Peter Chambers]

Yeah, the dame. The beige suit, scarlet flowers, beige gloves, dam we get a millionaire. No, no, this was a special one. Beautiful blonde. She was sitting up there at the bar. She came and talked to me. She was drinking milk. Hide behind this bar from 10 to 10, 12 hours. You go out of your mind. If you start picking out dames, it's. It's like a rancher with a hundred head of cattle. You can't pick out every guy.

[Peter Troy]

Try.

[Peter Chambers]

It's important. Well, I'm trying, M. Believe me.

[Peter Troy]

But it ain't no use.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

I'm sorry. Okay, let's get out of here.

[Peter Chambers]

So you're back in Parker's car, trying to stop, swallow that helpless, hopeless feeling.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Where to now, kiddo?

[Peter Chambers]

Figure I ought to visit Timothy York.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

He's been visited.

[Peter Chambers]

Well, let me try.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Sure, kid. It's your party.

[Peter Chambers]

And you stay downstairs.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Guy said it's your party.

[Inspector Caswell]

People.

[Peter Chambers]

It's a nice enough House, apartment 9G. And you stick your finger in the buzzer. Little guy opens the door. Little old guy that looks like he's falling apart.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Scratch.

[Peter Chambers]

Yes? What can I do for you, sir? Timothy York. The same. Chambers? Police. But the police have already been here several times. And once more can't hurt. True enough.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Come in, sir.

[Peter Chambers]

Please come in. Hey, nice place you have here. Thank you. How about your sister? Abigail Christenberry? Know any of her friends? No, we were never very chummy, Abigail and I.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Is that the taxi man, Timothy?

[Peter Chambers]

No, dear. A woman comes into the room. She's blonde and she's beautiful. She's got a clean line of eyebrow and red wet lips and green eyes upswept at the edges. Your hair begins to crinkle and you can feel the sweat break out on your body because according to Parker, you're looking at a corpse. The lady who comes into the room is Abigail Christenberry.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Timothy, I thought you said it wasn't the. Sir, are you the taxi man?

[Peter Chambers]

No, the milkman.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Timothy, what's he talking about?

[Peter Chambers]

He's from the police.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Police again. Timothy, will you please close my suitcases in the bedroom? They're stuff so full I can't do a thing with them.

[Peter Chambers]

Certainly, dear. And now that we're alone, Mrs. York, remember me? Peter Chambers.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Peter Chambers.

[Peter Chambers]

Never heard of you Ever hear of Abigail Christenberry?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Of course.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Abigail Christenberry is my husband's sister and she's dead.

[Peter Chambers]

How would you know this?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

From the police. They've been here several times.

[Peter Chambers]

See? Now what's with this stuff about suitcases?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

I'm leaving for Florida. It's been planned for a long time. I'm leaving tonight. Right now, as a matter of fact.

[Peter Chambers]

The cops know about that, of course.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

And they've Absolutely no objection. I've been completely cooperative with them and they have no need of me. They have the address where I'm going if by chance I am needed.

[Peter Chambers]

Your husband going?

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

No, he's not. He's saving his vacation for much later on. And we intend to go to Switzerland, to the Alps. Now, is there anything else?

[Peter Chambers]

That's all. Tell your husband goodbye for me. Back in the police car, you bestow a kiss on the damp and untranquil forehead of Detective Lieutenant Parker.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Hey, what's that for?

[Peter Chambers]

For having confidence in me. And for having patience. And for playing ball.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Okay, ball player, who's up now?

[Inspector Caswell]

You.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

How do you make that peak?

[Peter Chambers]

Mrs. Timothy York is coming out any minute. She's on her way to Florida.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

I know.

[Peter Chambers]

Only she's not going.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Who's stopping?

[Peter Chambers]

You are.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Oh, now what?

[Peter Chambers]

Look, look, look, look. When she comes out, you pick her up and bring her to one of the precinct station houses. Prefer the questioning or anything else you want to dream up, but just see to it she's detained.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

You sure you know what you're doing, Pete?

[Peter Chambers]

I'm positive. Just play along with me a little longer and we're liable to knock one right out of the ballpark. Mrs. Timothy York comes out and Parker does the old pickup, suitcase and all. She gets hustled down to the nearest station house, gets racked up for further questioning, and then you and Parker are rolling again.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Okay, fella.

[Inspector Caswell]

What now?

[Peter Chambers]

What time is it, louie?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

It's almost 10. Peacock Bar again.

[Peter Chambers]

The Peacock Bar, Louie.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Now look, we keep hitting that joint, both of us are liable to wind up.

[Peter Chambers]

We're not going in this time.

[Inspector Caswell]

No?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

What are we going to do? Sit and stare through the window and watch the others drink?

[Peter Chambers]

We're going to wait for that bartender. He says he quits at 10 o'.

[Inspector Caswell]

Clock.

[Peter Troy]

And then?

[Peter Chambers]

And then he and I are going for a ride or a walk or something. But wherever we go, I expect you to be close by. And if we go in somewhere, I expect you to be sitting around in your nice little police car just in case an emergency.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Pops.

[Peter Chambers]

He stops the car near the Peacock bar. You shift your.38 from the holster to your side pocket, you get out of the car and you wear out the sidewalk in front of the fancy tavern until High Shoulders come strolling out. Okay, Dimples.

[Inspector Caswell]

What?

[Peter Chambers]

What do you want? The lump in my pocket is a gun. And I'll use it if you make me.

[Inspector Caswell]

Sure, sure.

[Peter Chambers]

You understand about guns? Yeah, I understand fine. And where are you heading? Home. How do we go you heard me.

[Peter Troy]

We walk.

[Peter Chambers]

It's nearby. You walk to a nice looking apartment house and up one flight. He unlocks the door and you don't wait. Just as soon as he clicks the light on, you smash the flat of the gun against the side of his face. You give it a of lot, a feeling. It opens a hunk of his face. But he's a big guy and strong. And he comes back swinging. Maybe he's good, maybe he's lucky. But he catches you. One on the chin. That plants you up against the opposite wall. But you're still holding the gun. And then you hear the click of the switchblade. And you see him throw it. And you roll over and the knife makes a gong of the wall. You reach for it and you sit there like a cockeyed arsenal. A gun in your right hand and a knife in your left. And you see him come at you and there's no other way. You aim it low. Catches him in the thigh. It knocks him over. The rest is easy. Okay, pal, it's talking time.

[Peter Troy]

Where you are?

[Peter Chambers]

What's your name? Ryan. First name? What's it to you? Look, Ryan, it's murder we're fiddling around with. And when you fiddle with murder, you play it rough. Like now. Let's do it nice, huh? What's your first name?

[Peter Troy]

Peter.

[Bettina/Belinda Ambrose]

Peter.

[Peter Chambers]

Just like mine, huh? I don't know what your name is. That's a lie. Now let's play the name game some more. Let's try Mrs. Timothy York. I never heard of her. That's not what she says.

[Peter Troy]

Why?

[Peter Chambers]

Just in case you think she's on her way to Florida. Give another thing. But she's in the pokey, pal, talking her brains out. Why do you think I've come after you? She sent me.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

She did a.

[Peter Chambers]

She says it was all your idea. That. She says that you're number one. She's using a method. If you are number one, you get the chair and she gets off light. Now, whose idea was it?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Hers.

[Peter Chambers]

Hers.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

The dirty.

[Peter Chambers]

He spills the story like he's leaking words. Then you go down for Parker and you bring him upstairs. And you also bring him up to date on current events. Meet Mr. Ryan. Lieutenant Peter Ryan. That's the Peter that was mentioned in Abigail's diary.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

The Barton.

[Peter Chambers]

Yeah, yeah. Dimples over here. Our rich widow, Abigail Christenberry sort of got stuck on him. But then he got tired of her. Especially after he met her sister in law, Mrs. Timothy York.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Who murdered Christenberry.

[Peter Chambers]

Mrs. Timothy York. But she figured out A real cutie. Like how well they knew about Abigail's diary, where she mentions Pete. So they look up the classified directory on the private detective, which is often confused for fall guy. And the first Peter they come to is me, Peter Chambers.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

And they elect you the patsy.

[Peter Chambers]

Correct. First, Mrs. Timothy York kills Abigail, mashes her face in so I won't know the difference. Then she meets me at the Peacock on that milk deal. Then I'm to follow her right into the trap. She uses the stairs coming and going so no one sees her but me. I use the elevator. Everybody sees me.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Which puts you at the scene of the crime. Which leaves your fingerprints all over the place and which confuses you with the Pete and in Abigail's diary.

[Peter Chambers]

And the dead Abigail is in the bedroom, dead for at least a half hour with her face all smashed up.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Then after you get bounced out, Mrs. Timothy York blows the joint using the stairs again. And nobody can connect her with the crime. And you think Mrs. Timothy York is really Abigail. And you can't tell the difference because the real Abigail is now minus a face.

[Peter Chambers]

Sure. And with Mrs. Timothy York in Florida, I'd be in it up to my neck.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

Yeah, but if these two knock off Abigail, what do they get out of it? Mr. York inherits.

[Peter Chambers]

Mrs. York planned a trip to Switzerland with Mr. York. Mr. York would never have come back from there. He'd have tripped on an Alp or something. Then she'd get all the loot and she'd hook up with Dimples here, and they'd both live happily ever after. So your namesake gets booked downtown, and Mrs. York gets booked downtown. And they both accuse each other, which gives the cops a double confession. And then you and Louis Parker are sort of celebrating on the late shift at the Peacock Bar. And Parker is saying, oh, Peto boy.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

How did it come to you?

[Peter Chambers]

Oh, you're a good friend. That's how it came to me. You gave me a chance to run around a little bit. I saw Mrs. York, which I couldn't have if she'd beat her for Florida. And the minute I see her, I realize I'm in the middle of a frame job. Mrs. Timothy York, who told me she was Abigail Christenberry.

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

And you tied that up with a bartender that forgets one of two milk customers in the same afternoon.

[Peter Chambers]

He remembered me. How could he forget her?

[Lieutenant Louie Parker]

So the moral of the story is, don't lose patience. And don't lose confidence in a friend, even if you're a cop.

[Peter Chambers]

He's got another moral, Lieutenant. And that is don't drink milk at a whiskey bar, not unless you've got an ulcer.

[Peter Troy]

And there you've had Crime and Peter Chambers.

[Peter Chambers]

Dane Clark was starred as Peter Chambers. Crime and Peter Chambers transcribed was created and written by Henry Kane. Others in the cast were Bill Zuckert, heard as Lt. Parker, Elaine Rost as Mrs. York, and Joe Desantis as the bartender. It was directed by Fred Way. This is Fred Collins inviting you to tune in next week, same time, same station for Dane Clark in Crime and Peter Chambers.

[Host]

Walk Softly. Peter Troy was a South African radio series that aired over Springbok stations from December of 1963 to February of 1964. Crime and Peter Chambers aired over NBC from April to September of 1954. You want to find more from Peter Chambers, Peter Troy, Case Closed and all of the podcasts, visit relicradio.com. you'll find our shoutcast stream there as well. Lots to listen to, all made possible by your support. Thanks again to those who have helped out and thanks for joining me this week. I'll talk to you again next next Wednesday with another hour of Case Closed.