John Storm (0:00)

This is case closed. One hour of old time radio crime and mystery every Wednesday@ Relicradio.com. our first story comes from Richard diamond, private detective. This week we'll hear the Jerome J. Jerome case from September 17, 1949. After that, from February 28, 1949, we'll hear your money or your life from Let George do it. Here's another in NBC's great parade of new show. Now, Dick Powell as Richard diamond, private detective. Hello there. This is Diamond. You know, if you've ever got a few idle minutes and you need a good chuckle to keep you going, just turn to the personals in any of the local papers. Now, I'm a guy with a strange sense of humor and it really takes something right out of left field to get a spasm out of my funny bone. But just listen to this one out of the Little Rock Bugle. Oh, yeah. Bachelor. Sincere young man, 4ft 10, 190 pounds. Handsome, out of work for a year. Desires to meet woman who can straighten him out. See what I mean? If this guy does find a woman who can straighten him out, she'll probably do it with a flat iron. Oh, and, and get this one. Young man with large personality. Desires to meet woman with big bank account and small sense of humor. Object. Murder. Oh, excuse me. That's merger. Oh, and here's a real wizard. Attractive, intelligent girl, 30 years old, with bubbling enthusiasm for life. Neither smokes, drinks nor stays vegetarian and hates comic books. Would like playmate who enjoys active recreation. There'll be a month of fasting after that one. Oh, yeah. I knew I had something else. That case I got mixed up in last week. If you think those personals are silly, will you hear about this? It all started about 11:00 one morning in my office. Mr. Richard diamond, private detective. I was out with a hula dancer last night. Wait, I'll look in the mirror and tell you. Come on in so you can see too. My name is Jerome. Jerome. Well, I'm not going to ask you what the J stands for. You are Mr. Diamond, aren't you? My face, all right, but I'm sure the rest of me is on vacation. Don't you feel well? I don't feel at all. Ever dance the hula? For six hours straight. I'm a past master of all forms of dancing. Care walls. What? Forget it. What can I do for you, Mr. Jerome? It's not what you can do for me, Mr. Diamond, it's what I can do for you. Well, that's a switch. But let's Give it a whirl. What can you do for me, Mr. Jerome? I'm a millionaire, Mr. Diamond. Well, bless your little pointed head. I'm also a G man. I knew this would jump the track sooner or later. Tell me, if you're a G man and a millionaire, where do you work? US Mint. I write songs too. By the light of the silvery moon. I want to. Mr. Jerome. Yes? Did you like it? You didn't by any chance write Swanny River? No. I believe Stephen Foster wrote that. You don't say. Yes. He stole the melody from me. I think we'd better waltz after all. Oh, Mr. Diamond, that's ridiculous. I'm glad somebody noticed. But you take a good zippy foxtrot now. Oh, now wait a minute. Hold it, hold it. You follow beautifully. I went to Vassar. Now slow down before I pick you up and stuff you into a bottle. Oh, I'm sorry. Now, now, would you mind telling me how long you've been hiding out with the squirrels? Squirrels? Oh, I have a mink farm you should do well. Look, Mr. Jerome, I think maybe you better go soak yourself in some hot tar or something. I came here to do you a favor, Mr. Diamond, and I do not intend to leave until you hear me out. Oh, wow. Okay. What is it you need? A bodyguard? Operator, Give me Bellevue. Mr. Diamond, please. There's no need to call Bellevue. Oh, stop being so narrow minded. They'll give you a nice quiet room, all but a little lonesome. Well, go ahead and call them if you want to, but it will do you no good. Why not? They'll just think you're crazy. I'm on the staff there. Oh, yes, I should have known. I think you're making fun of me. I came up here because I knew of your reputation as a detective and I want to help you with your work. You. You get in trouble, don't you? All the time. Habitually. Well, I want to protect you. Now that's nice, but I really don't need a bodyguard. Early stages of schizophrenia. Also a slight persecution complex. Have you seen a good psychiatrist, Mr. Diamond? Certainly a thought. Well, when do I start work? Well, you see, it's like this. I'm awfully sorry, but I have my own nutcracker. Oh, no, no, no. I mean as your bodyguard. I'm afraid the requirements are too tough. What are they? Well, first you have to find a freshly murdered corpse. It's kind of like a treasure hunt. Oh, I've got that. You got what? A freshly murdered corpse. That's one of the reasons I came up to see you. I thought you'd like to know. Oh, well, now I'll tell you what you do. You go back and see if the corpse is still there. If it is, call me at once. Okay. All righty, I'm off. Amen. Mr. Diamond. Yes? Remember huffing hot toads have no hair. Oh, no. Mr. Diamond. Huh? Oh, I thought you'd better know something. I can only be your bodyguard for a week. I'm getting married. Congratulations. Who's the lucky girl? It's Miss America. But don't breathe it around. I want time to check her measurements. I'll send you a fruitcake. Just bring it in. You're invited. Goodbye. Diamonds Rest Home. We specialize in nervous disorders. Ingrown scalps in the world's largest bowling alley. Oh, don't laugh. If you'd seen what just walked out of here, you'd go back to Yo Yo's. Well, what did just walk out of there? I'm not sure, but he had lovely blonde hair. He did? Yeah, all over him. Rick, what in the world are you talking about? I'm talking about nothing in the world. Come on, tell Helen. Well, I've got to get it all straight first. If I figure it out, I'll come over and we can throw sesame seeds at each other. Oh, I'd love to. When will you be here? As soon as I shine up my elk's tooth and lock the office. Bye. Well, I usually get some screwy ones, but this one was the topper of the season. I had a hunch that Jerome would be back, so I locked the office and did a quick sneak down the back stairs. I grabbed a cab, and 10 minutes later I was sitting in Helen ash's study at 975 Park Avenue. Do you think his story about the body had any truth behind it? Well, he told me he was a millionaire, a G man, owned a mink farm and was going to marry Miss America. Now, tell me you think there's some truth behind it, and I'll have you committed. Well, all right. But if he continues to pester you, you. You ought to call the authorities about him. Yeah, I guess I'll have to. Poor little man. It's a poor little man like that who ends up hanging his grandmother on a meat hook. Oh, he doesn't sound dangerous to me. Ah, sometimes the harmless ones work themselves right into a storm. Now, take me. You'd never guess that somewhere in the back of my head a square knot is being tied. Rick, now stop that. See, you didn't know it, but at high noon I grow fangs and long claws. Now stop it. You do that every time a good looking girl walks past. You complete idiot. Rick, the phone's ringing. Oh, I hope it's happy. Might be something important. Oh, Rick, you're muffing my hair. Now stop that and answer the phone. Oh, you woman or fiend? Harold Apple Knocker's Happy Home for hog. Rick. Who is this? What's the matter with you all? Ain't you got your ear trumpet clip right? I know it's you, Diamond. No, it ain't. This is old Harold Apple Knocker. I'll let you talk to my gal, L. Bell. Say hello to the lieutenant. L. Howdy. Now, diamond, you stop that. I just got back from my vacation and things are already so confused. I may turn in my badge before the day is over. Well, come on down to the hog ranch and I'll cook you up some hocks. Now, come on, Diamond. I'm not in the mood for any of your wild humor. Oh, what's the matter with you, Wolf? Did you catch any fish? Oh, wait till I tell you. I got one that was so big. Is that why you call me? Huh? Oh, no. Some guy's been pestering me for the last half an hour. Wants to know where you are. Says he's an old friend. Oh, his name wasn't Jerome. J. Jerome, was it? That was the first name he gave me the last time he called. He said he was a G man. That's Jerome. Want me to tell him where you are? You do it. I'll handcuff you to Sergeant Otis. Oh, don't say that name to me ever again. Why, Walt, you sound bitter. That hornet head worked nights just messing things up. And Homicide Lieutenant Waldo is taking calcium shots. The chief has locked himself in his office. Won't even open the door for food. Well, if Jerome calls again, tell him I've joined the South Siberian Balloon Corps. Now, wait a minute. Well, what do you want now, bonehead? It's that Jerome guy. He wants diamond again. Says he found the body right where he left it. What Diamond? Now you wait a minute, Walt. What are you doing? Oh, picking up my eardrum. You better watch that yelling. You'll have an office full of hogs. Keep Otis out of this and I'll yell if I want to. Now you get down here and explain about this body. Walt, I don't know anything about the body. The Jerome guy is off his trolley. Yeah, well, if there's the smallest possibility of a corpse turning up and you're involved. It'll turn up, Walt. You say it, but you don't mean it. I don't, huh? You get down here in 10 minutes or I'll have a warrant out for you. And I mean that. Now, step on it. By heaven, I'll forget modern police procedure and drag out the rubber hose. Why don't you use Sergeant Otis's tongue? You could beat an elephant to death with it. I'm not kidding. I've heard two words, diamond and body. And that means overtime in this department. Now get down here. All right. But you're mean. Oh, and diamond. Yes? Pick me up some bicarbonate on the way over, will you? I'll get you something, but don't spill it on your car. It'll take the paint off. Bye, Rick. What was that all about? Levinson's got heartburn again. That nut that wandered into my office told Otis about the body he says he's found. Oh, Walt didn't believe him, did he? Walt's been a cynic ever since we were introduced. I'll see you later this evening, honey. All right, Rick. What do you want to do, Alan? Why, what you said. I had a mental picture of Walt eating his way through his desk. So I got some bicarbonate at the drugstore and hurried over before he got to the wiring and shorted out the whole department as usual. The king of the forest met me in the squadroom. Well, you're in that shamus. I guess you're right. Sergeant Otis, how about lending me your wooden shoes? What do you mean, wise guy? They ain't wood. And why do you use a crowbar instead of a shoehorn? Yeah, very funny. You better go on in Lieutenant's livelihood to start breaking things. I hope he doesn't use his bare hands. Yeah, why? Well, your head's lobby. Get in the way and you'll be crippled for life. All right, Walt, stop chewing on that desk. Here's your bicarbonate. What are you talking about? Now, you listen to me, Diamond. That's like telling a man to turn up his hearing aid in a bombing. You can stop being cute. That guy Jerome. Jerome phoned just before you came in. And he sticks to his story about the body, but he won't tell us where he is. You don't really believe him, do you, Ward? He's nuts. Well, he did say something about playing quarterback for Notre Dame. But if you're mixed up in this, I can't take any chances. Oh, don't be an idiot, Walt. This little guy Jerome Came waltzing into my office this morning and. Lieutenant. What is it? That guy Jerome's on the phone again. He wants to talk to Diamond. Rick, pick up that phone and find out about that body. Oh, now, come on, Walt. You can use the extension in here. Go on. I promise you, you'll be sorry. You pick it up and say hello. Not to this guy you want. You come back with hopping hop toads have no hair or something. Hello? Jerome? Oh, Mr. Diamond. Good, good, good, good. I've been trying to get you for some time. The body's here. All right. Where? Jerome? Anyone here? No. Jerome. I thought maybe they had the line tapped. They do that, Juno. Yes, Jerome. Now, where are you? I'm at the Osterham place. And if you don't want this corpse, I'm calling in Hawthorne of the death squad. Jerome, please. Now where are you? The osterham Place on 74th Street. I'll be right over. And don't let the corpse get away. Oh, it won't. I'm sitting on it. Oh. Well, did you find out where he is? Oh, he said the osterham Place on 74th Street. What the devil's that? The Osterham place. That's old man Osterham's home. You know, the eccentric old millionaire that died last year. How did your own get in? It's been turned into kind of a museum. The old boy had quite a collection of rare antiques. And when he died, he left the house to the city as sort of a show place. You mean he's open to the public? Yeah. Wow. Well, let's go. Jerome's probably found a mummy for us. On the way over, I told Walt about Jerome's sweet little visit in my office. And the lieutenant was all for stopping off for a straight jacket. When we got there, we looked out of the squad car at an old three story brownstone. But more interesting was the sign that hung from the door. Closed Saturdays. And you guessed it, it was Saturday. We got out of the car and went up. Well, don't just stand there. Try the door. I'm with you. Got an axe? Ring the bell. If Jerome's in there, he'll probably answer. Oh, anything to make the police force happy. Mr. Diamond. What is that? That is Jerome over in the window. You will have to climb in here. Come on, Walt. We can't do that. Who's that with you? Diamond? This is Lonely Levinson, Jerome. He collects bodies. Oh, good. He'll just love this one. Climb in. Coming, all. Oh, go ahead. If there's a corpse in there. It's in the line of duty. I'll give you a boost. I can make it watch you read old Fairberry. You shut up there. All right, Red Heart, you're next. Up, up and away. Oh, I'm glad to see you both. I was getting tired of sitting around with her. The conversation was so one sided. Sitting around with who? Her. Rick. Yeah. Do I qualify, Mr. Diamond? Young girl been dead quite a while. Jerome. Yes, boss. Oh, Ricky, how you found it? Well, this room is supposed to be sealed up. Sealed up? Yes, the building is a museum. Not a very good one. I have much better things in my apartment. Uh. Oh, we're losing him, Jerome. How you found her? Oh, oh, oh. Well, when the building is open to the public, they take you on tours. When we passed this room, we noticed it was sealed. I asked why and the guard said it was because the late Mr. Osterham had stipulated in his will that the rest of the house could be shown. But not this room. It was his private study. And he said if he ever wanted to come back, he didn't want a lot of people cluttering it up. Who broke it in? I did. You did? Don't they have burglar alarms in this museum, Mr. Diamond? Lonely Levinson has an extreme case of super sensitivity. Does he always snap like that? Only when he hasn't been fed. Why did you break in? You should be careful, Mr. Lonely Levinson. You bite someone. Have you been checked for rabies? Now you listen to me, Walt. Walt. Walt. Jerome. Why did you break in? Well, it's perfectly obvious. When the guard told me the story, I played along with him. Of course, I knew it was just the trick to throw me off. Of course. Would you mind turning your head? It's much better if you just chew on that curtain. Well, I. I waited until they closed the place. Then I came back jimmy this window and found the body. Then I came to you, Mr. Diamond. Simple. Oh, sure. Rick. What are you doing? Oh, just looking at the dead girl. Come here. You find something? Yeah, got on an anklet. Name is Strike a match, will you? Wait a minute there, Adelaide. Looks like she's been dead quite a while. Yeah. Jerome, when you found. Hey, Jerome. He's gone. Oh, we're a couple of swell sleuths. He's not out on the street. Must have climbed out and run for it. I'll send out a general on him. Yeah, I would if I were you. A guy like that shouldn't be run around loose. He's allowed to wind up on Stromboli Well, Walt put out a general lime on Jerome and then called in the rest of the experts to give him the dope on the dead girl. I didn't wait around because I had a hunch that Jerome would find me again. I was right, because at that moment, he was sitting in my office behind my desk. Diamond Detective Agency. Rick, who is this? Oh, now, stop clowning. This is Helen. Never heard of you. Why don't you dames leave me alone? By the light of the silvery moon I guess I'll have to write some new lyrics. Oh, dear. Yes, what is it? Well, you sure got there in a hurry. Who is this? Now, you stop that, Diamond. You know very well who this is. What do you want? Stupid. Stupid? Yeah, Rhymes with Cupid. Could do a song on it. Like to hear my latest? I've been working on the railroad. All the lip, nothing. What kind of a song do you suppose I could write with Stupid and Cupid? Oh, hello, Mr. Diamond. What's going on? Well, hello, Jerome. Taking my calls for me? Yes, and wait till you hear the pixie I've got on the line here. Thanks. Hello, Walt. Rick? Yeah. You were talking to Jerome. I just came in. I might have known it. Don't let him out of your sight. Of course not. Now, what did you find out? Oh. Oh, yeah. The dead girl is one Adelaide Smith. Had a record. Blackmail artist. Been dead about three days. Working for a Patrick Mahaffy, Attorney on Pine Street. He was strangled. Blackmail artist, huh? Very smooth. Or used to be. Any line on Mahaffy's background? We're checking into that now. Well, find out one thing more for me, will you? If I can. What? When that museum was open to the public. That's easy. I'll call you back. Hold on to that Jerome guy. Oh, sure, sure. Walt. Yeah? Jerome's gone again. What by. Oh, sorry to bust in, but you seem to be missing your secretary. Come in, come in. My secretary just walked out the other day. I haven't had time to get another from the agency. Are you Patrick Mahaffy? Yes. What can I do for you? Was your secretary's name Adelaide Smith? Why, yes. How did you know? From the police. They just put a tag on it down at the morgue. Good Lord. She. She isn't. She certainly is. The morgue is very choosy about its tenants. Oh, that's terrible. What was it, an accident? Well, if it was, the insurance companies are going to have to set up a new system. She was strangled. Oh, how horrible. Yes. You. You're an attorney, aren't you Mr. Mahaffey? Why, yes. Are. Are you from the police? I just left him. What kind of an attorney? Why, just general law. Ever do anything you could be blackmail? For what? Why, why, of course not. Ever have any business with the Osterham estate? No. No, I never handled any of the Osterham business. Why? Oh. Oh, nothing. I'll see you later, Mr. Mahaffey. Homicide. Lieutenant Levinson. Walt Diamond. What did you find out about Mahaffy? Rick? There's something fishy. You gotta stop going to these cheap restaurants. Oh, be serious. That Mahaffi guy was executor for the Osterham estate. Why? Yeah, funny coincidence. Coincidence, my shoulder holster. I just left him and he told me he'd never even heard of the Osterham estate. Now, why would he do that? He's certainly smart enough to know we could check. Maybe he wanted time enough to skip. You think he's mixed up in the killing? Did you find out when the museum was open to the public? Yeah. The city completed the alterations two days ago. And if it means anything to you, that room was sealed up on the last day. Thanks, Walt. And something else. We checked on the dead girl's bank account. She had 22,000 in it. A lot for a secretary, huh? Yeah, but not too much for a high class blackmailer. Do one more thing for me, Walt. Find out if Osterham had any heirs. What good will that do? I want to find out just how many people would know about that sealed room before the public got wind of it. Okay. I'll have my happy picked up right away. No, no, no. Don't do it yet. I want 10 minutes with him. Where. Where's his house? I got it right here. 93rd Street, West End Avenue. But I don't see why you won't let me grab my happy. We know he's lying. You just check on that will. I'm going to throw you a killer. I left the phone booth and headed for West End Avenue and Patrick Mahaffi's residence. Strangely enough, it was on the west side of town. And when I got there, I spotted a green sedan in front of the house. I started up to the front door and Mahaffy met me halfway. He had a suitcase and he was in a hurry. Oh, it's you. Your memory's getting better. Come on, you don't want to leave right now. Let's go back inside. But I have to catch a plane. I'm leaving town on business. Oh, I'll bet you are. Let's go. Now, wait just a minute. You have no Legal right. Do I have to show you my biceps? Well, all right, but make it brief. I'm late as it is. Now, just what is this all about? I thought you said you didn't have any business with the Osterham estate. Why, that's right. I checked. Oh. Just exactly what was your capacity? Well, I. I handled the incomes on the trust account. I was also the executor of the will. You wouldn't be handling it now, would you? When Mr. Osterham died and I executed his will, my job was done. Were there any heirs to. Neither of them were able to hear the reading. Who did hear it? Just an official from the city. Why weren't the heirs present? Because one of them couldn't be found. The other one was in a kennel and a kennel? A cocker Spaniel. He received $10,000. Oh, Betty rolled right over on his back. Who was the other heir? Mr. Osterham's nephew. He hasn't been heard from in 10 years. He went to France to study hat designing, but hat jobs were very scarce. So he just vanished. He was rather eccentric. Oh. Now we come to the jackpot question. What you got in the bag? What? You look a little green. Open it up. Now, look, you can't do this to me. It's against the law. Where's your warrant? I got a fistful of them, see? Oh, all right. There. Dump it out. But I've got to catch a plane if I dump all this. Dump it out. Well, well, well. Yes, it's a lot of money, isn't it? Sure is. Isn't it lovely? Well, I'm glad you like it. Go ahead, take half. I was hoping you wouldn't say that. Why not? Because I'll hate myself for the next two years. Put it back in the bag and let's go. But I'm offering you $100,000. You must be a fool. Oh, this is a very elementary deduction. Come on, you can figure it out in Sing Sing. I don't think so. You should have looked in my pocket too. Oh, I hope that's an old pipe you're pointing at me. I hate to disappoint you. It's a.38. Now you're turning green. Now you better answer it. That's the police, and they know I'm here. All right. But you say one thing wrong, and I'll have to shut you up permanently. Yes? Is diamond there? Yes. Let me talk to him. All right. You were right. It's for you. Go ahead, talk to him. But I Warned you again. Hello? I'm getting tired of. Darling. Everything all right? Just dandy. What did you find out? There were two heirs. And get this. One of them was a cocker spaniel. Yeah? How did you know? What else? That guy Mahaffey's a crook. We checked and found out that there's only about 10,000 left in the trust fund. The bank says Mahaffi had power of attorney and he'd drawn out about 200,000. You got him there with you? Yeah, but it's all in the way you look at it. Oh, it's like that, huh? See if you can stall him. There ought to be a prowl car nearby. Goodbye, Walt. Did you get the information you wanted? Yeah. You killed the girl. Probably because she found out you were dipping into the till. You paid her 10,000 and got her over to the museum and strangled her. I took the money. Yes, but you're just guessing about the murder. No one else but you knew about that closed room until after it was sealed and the public was told the girl was killed. The day before the room was sealed, you figured she'd never be found. But a little guy named Jerome. Jerome went in and found the body. And if I'm right, little Jerome is really the missing heir. Impossible. Wasn't the museum rigged with a burglar alarm? Yes. Well, we found Jerome inside and the window open. He'd climbed in, but the alarm hadn't gone off. Simple. A member of the family might still have a key. He found the alarm and disconnected. I don't believe it. But you must, Mr. Mahaffey. What? No, it can't be. Oh, well, you really throw a Beautiful left jab, Mr. Diamond. Oh, thanks for turning his head, Jerome. Now, would you mind telling me something just to sort of clear things up a little? You mean, am I really crap? No. Like Mr. Happy said, just a little eccentric. You see, I found out the money was missing, so I looked up the girl. She told me for 20,000 she'd show me the thief. She told me to meet her at the museum that night and the thief would be there. When I got there, she was dead. Well, I knew I couldn't solve the case myself. And if anyone found out who I really was, I might be held. So I became Jerome J. Jerome and hired Richard Diamond. Correction. I was not hired. Correction again. You'll receive a very substantial check as soon as the estate is settled. And thank you. Thank you. Oh, you might do me one more favor. If you know anyone who would like to buy a hat, I have got some dillies. I'll speak to head hopper in the rig. Yeah, well, it's. It's lovely, but. But you don't like it? Well, yes. What's the matter? I don't know what it is. You don't know what it is? It's a hat. A hat, certainly. Yeah, yeah, give it to me. Now, look, you put it on this way, see? What are you laughing at? Oh, no. Oh, yes. I might even do a Hildegard if I got the right bookings. Pair of long gloves already. So then my hair sing. When I remember little things the way you. Stop it. I will not. I may have found a way to make a million. You're just jealous. That song. I've Got the Hat and I'm Pretty. Just sing a song and finish it for a change. Oh, I'd love to. I don't know from nothing, baby All I know is I love you I don't care for nothing, baby if I knew you cared for me too so won't you make your mind up, baby Tell me that you love me Please do For I don't know from nothing, baby All I know is I love you. We bought a sponsor. All I know is I love you. Well, there you are. I finished it. Are you happy? Oh, yes. But where did the band come from? Did you like it? Yes, it was great. Well, if it's great, don't ask questions. Thank you. Vaughn Monroe. Honey, the name is diamond. Oh, Mr. Monroe, I just love your record. No, no, baby, the name is Diamond. Mr. Monroe, ever since the first time I heard you sing, I've come here. I want to tell you something. Racing with the moon. Sailing through the midnight blue. You've just heard Richard Diamond, Private Detective, starring Dick Powell. Helen was played by Virginia Gregg, Lieutenant Levinson by Ed Begley. Also in the cast were Williams, Herbert Joseph Kearns and Stanley Waxman. Music was under the direction of Frank Worth. Richard diamond is written by Blake Edwards and directed by Richard Sandville. Dick Powell soon will be seen in the current screen version of the best selling novel, Mrs. Mike. Now this is John Storm inviting you to be with us again at the same time next week when we will again bring you Dick Powell as Richard diamond, private detective. You don't have to go to Alabama. You don't have to eat ham hocks and butter beans. All you have to do is enjoy Phil Harris and his ever loving wife Alice Fay when they return to NBC tomorrow for 30 minutes of Southern Pride. Joy. Lend an ear to Phil Harris Alice Fay show returning tomorrow on most of these same NBC Stations. Standard of California, on behalf of independent Chevron gas stations and Standard stations throughout the west, invites you to let George do it. Your money or your life. Another adventure of George Valentine. Personal notice. Dangers my stock in trade. If you're on a spot where a step forward drags you two steps back, you got a job for me, George Valentine. Write full details. Dear Mr. Valentine, I'm taking for granted this is confidential, so here goes. A couple of days ago, I got so desperate I stole to get some dough to pay off a debt. What I want most is to see the guy I borrowed from get what's coming to him for running a racket that smells to high heaven. Maybe you heard of him. His name is Douglas Harger. And I want to see something happen to him. If this hits you right, you've got a job. The only time I can talk to you is between 12 and one at Molly's Cafe on Pierpont Street. Sign, Fred Dundee. Give it a look. Fred. Don't you see I can't play ball with you. Why not? You'll be getting paid for it. Well, I can't take that kind of money. Who did you steal it from? That's my business, Ms. Brooks. And if you're worried about me making it my life's work, forget it. It was my first and last time. I know Fred, and I'd like to help you. Oh, sure, sure. All Achilles Mike. I suppose that's what you fellas call ethics, huh, Valentine? Well. But it's all right for Hogger to make all the dirty money he wants without anybody saying a word. How can you be so sure it's Hoga who's running this loan shark business? I borrowed that money from Phil Pagano. He's always going in and out of Harga's Melody Club. He works for him. Yeah, you should hear his line. Go on, kid. Your credit is good. If the wife's gonna have a baby, let her have the best. You got a whole month to pay back the 250. Of course there'll be a hundred dollar service challenge, but then we don't ask for no security. Which you don't have. I tell you, I can't hold it for antiquities. I know you think I was a snook to take his money, but I wanted Peg to have everything good when she was having the kid. I couldn't borrow anywhere else because I'm in hock up to my ears now. But think of the chance you were taking when you decided to steal. Oh, I know, but they wouldn't Give me any more time. They didn't just threaten me. They said things would happen to Peg if I didn't raise the dough. You know, there may be an answer to this. There's got to be, Valentine. It's not just myself. Think of all the other people who get squeezed and do things they never would have done to pay Harger back. That's why I couldn't just pay up and forget it. I want. I know, I know. You want something that happened to him. All right. Tell you what, Fred. What? I'll take the job and see what I can do. Well, that's swell. There's a little money left. I'll give. No, Fred, no. You just make sure you hold on to that. Now I'm working for free. Well, good to see you again, Mr. Valentine. The melody Club doesn't have many interesting visitors during the day. Come off it, hunger. And tell this muscle head to get off the couch and get out of here. I want to talk to you alone. Did I hear you call? You should be more careful in your choice of words, Mr. Valentine. This gentleman is supposed to be my bodyguard. Although you'd hardly tell it to see him lying around reading comic books. Come on, buster, up you come. Outside. Let go of me. I've gone away. Marty. We don't want to give our guest the wrong impression. You better go sit at the bar and soothe your chagrin. Okay, if that's the way you want it. Oh, Mr. Valentine, you are as friendly as ground glass today. Never mind the patty. I want $350 from you and I want it now. Oh, a little strapped, huh? Well, I think you're a good risk. Glad to oblige. Oh, no, you got me wrong. I'm not borrowing it. You're giving it to me for keeps. Oh, come now. Just as you have your principles, I have mine. I'm a businessman. I never give anything unless it's for value receipt. Yeah, well, you're gonna make an exception. This is for someone who got hurt on one of your loan shark deals. What are you talking about? Your boy Phil Pagano bore down so hard and a friend of mine, he had to go out and steal. Now this is to square things for him. Ridiculous. If out of the goodness of his heart, someone I hate, know, lends money and collects it in his own way. That has nothing to do with me. 350 bucks, Haga. Let's have it. I could have you thrown out. Or why don't you? You know how violence unnerves me, Mr. Valentine. But as long as the sum is so paltry, I'll let you play Santa Claus. If you had a conscience, Hager, I might be tempted to say it should feel better. Here you are. Or may I ask, is this a single commission for a client or do you have more quixotic and ambitious plans in the same direction? Why do you ask? Just curiosity. No, no, no. I just want to be prepared. As much as I despise any form of physical conflict, Mr. Valentine, I may be forced to make another exception to my principles. Valentine. You may not have noticed, but the word on the door says Homicide don't come to me about loan sharks. Riley, how can Harger operate a racket like this without your worthy colleagues putting the arm on? You say it's Hogger. I suspect it's Hogger. It might well be Hogger. But when we pick up one of those strong arm bankers, he says it's a personal deal. There's nothing in writing. The victims are too scared to say anything and there's no mention of Hogger. Now go ahead, you arrest somebody. Lieutenant, you should have talked to fred Dundee. Look, Ms. Brooks, we don't like the idea either seeing the little people in this city being pushed around. A question, Lieutenant. One simple question. Oh, I know your simple questions. They take till doomsday to answer. Wouldn't you say it'd take a lot of cold, hard cash to supply what you call these strong arm bankers. There must be dozens of them covering the city and they're ready to lend dough right on the line. You just name the amount. What are you driving at? Hagar isn't headed for the poorhouse, but neither does he get his mail and care of Fort Knox. And he has so many other interests that take cash to run. Christopher arena, his nightclubs and all the rest up. Yeah. In other words, somebody else has to be furnishing the wherewithal. The financier, the angel. Have you ever heard of anyone connected with him who could even vaguely fit that description? Not even vaguely. Oh, great. Well, there's nothing like being a pioneer and trying to find the answer to my own question. This Pagano in there at the bar? Valentine? Yeah, I see him. For he always hangs out here at Maloney's, 8 to 12 every night. So any sucker like me who wants money, I know where to find him. I think I can charm him out. So you can talk to him alone, George, or do I sound like I'm confusing myself with Betty Grapes? Oh, he'll fall for you like a ton of bricks. He thinks he's a ladies man, Ms. Brooks. But you be careful of him. He's an oily little rat who carries a knife. A knife, huh? Hey, look, angel, maybe we ought to forget this. Look, I'll find another way to get you a minute. Hey, stop dead, mister. I've got an appointment with a gentleman. What can I get you, lady? Oh, nothing, Tom. Well, hey, sweetheart, I'm good fit around here. And when they come like you. I can do better than that. Much better. No. Are you? I only wanted to talk to you alone. Oh, yeah? I need money. Need it real bad. Why me? No. Names get around. You hear things. Somebody said I'd find you here. What seems to be your trouble, sweetheart? Probably nothing new to you. The show I was dancing in folded up. I held out as long as I could, and now I've got a borrow money. What's your name? What show? Vivian Dupre did a solo in Gals Can Be Pals. The Morrison Circuit. Your real name, I mean, Mr. Pray. Okay, Mary Sullivan. Do I get the money? I'll pay it back. Usually I work regular. All right. Don't get so nervous, Mary. Bill Pagano will take care of you. How much do you call money? Well, I'm afraid it's got to be at least 300. Bill Pagano can still take care, and he's happy to. Oh, when can I have it? What do I have to sign, Mr. Pagano? Well, this is no joint to talk about. Something personal, sweetheart. Suppose we go over to my place and set up the deal. Well, I. I don't know. I. Trust me, don't you, kid? Oh, you know I do, Mr. Pagano. What are we waiting for? Here we are, sweetheart. Well, I got my key. Yeah. Well, you're looking around. You think he was expecting somebody? Oh, no, no. It's just that. Oh, the hall is so dark. Well, take care of that right now. Go ahead in, Mary. Oh, no, you first. I don't know who you are, bud, but I'm gonna shut up. And you, babe, sit down over there. What? Oh, yes, sir, cobber. We'll talk when you take your hand off that knife in your pocket. So you hate about me, huh? Well, then you ought to know I let this knife do my talking for me. Now, wait a minute. Listen to me. Handsome Hager sent me to see you, huh? You liar. Yeah, I started working for him today. It seems he lost his respect for Marty as a bodyguard. You think I'm gonna believe that? Hager says you've been charging extra interest on loans and holding out on him. You've shaken his faith in mankind. Phil, I never held out a cent in my life. Now snap that knife closed. I want to have nice things to report about you. Well, that's a good boy. Before we do any talking, what about the babe here? Oh, well, I wouldn't want her to miss this for anything. All right, you're working for Haggie. But I want to know more than that. Get. Get off me. Take. Take your knee out of my chest. Now, who finances the setup? Who's the turn fan on the totem pole? I don't know. I don't know nothing. Oh, don't. Who really runs a racket supplies already cash. Come on, talk. All right, I'll tell you. Stop it. Yeah. Leslie. Leslie who? Leslie Ramson, Compton Hills. Okay. Thanks, Phil. You've been very helpful. I don't want to seem ungrateful, but I gotta do this. Sweet dreams, handsome. What do I do? Cheer or just fold up like an accordant? Sorry I had to expose you to that bit of rough stuff, angel, but even if it takes more of the same, I'm gonna clean this thing up. Compton Hills. But there's nothing out there but fashionable estates. Yeah, I know, but that's the next stop, Brooksie. We're getting up in the world. Leslie will be down in just a moment, Mr. Valentine. In the meantime, would you like to step in here and see some of my books? Ah. Oh, I. Sure. All right, me. May I get your drink? I'd ring for one of the servants, but it's their night off. No, no, no, thanks. Did you mention it was important? Yes, yes, I told leslie. You know, Mr. Valentine, I suppose most people would say that my life is an unpardonable waste. So much of it given to collecting books, living with them. But then what is important, young man? In college, they draw me out of my philosophy class. Mr. Remsen. Now, would you mind calling upstairs again and see if. Oh, Mr. Valentine, have you met my wife? Leslie, dear, this is the young man who has been waiting for you. You're. I mean, I'm left with. I'm sorry. I'm not wearing a mustache. I understand you have some business you want to discuss with me, Mr. Valentine. Well, yes. Why don't you two stay right here in the library? Thank you, Paul. I have to phone my book dealer anyway. You know, Mr. Valentine, Leslie just can't understand my passionate interest in books. No, but then again, I'm often baffled by her interests, even though I understand them. Well, good night. I received a very enlightened telephone Call while you were waiting, Mr. Valentine. Then you ought to know why I'm here, Leslie. Or I suppose I ought to start calling you Mrs. Remsen. No, I like Leslie better. You seem to think I'm masterminding some sort of minor crime wave. Aren't you? That was a melodramatic way of putting it. The question is, what are you gonna do about it? We'll return to tonight's adventure of George Valentine in just a moment. Did you know that in the early 30s the oil industry had to meet the challenge of new high powered cars? A plain mineral oil just couldn't lubricate the new powerful engines properly. Engineers at Standard of California met the problem with compounded RPM motor oil. The oil that won't run away from internal engine hot spots. That keeps a protective film on all parts when a car is standing cold. And that cleans your engine as it lubricates. One motorist quick to see the advantages of RPM motor oil is F.B. storman of Tombstone, Arizona. Mr. Stormont started using RPM in 1936. He states that he has been a constant user of this premium motor oil for the past 13 years. He's driven the same car all these years. Driven it close to a hundred thousand miles with only one major overhaul job in all that distance. That's really protection you can trust. And to give your own car this superior protection, stick to RPM motor oil. Ask for RPM at standard stations and independent Chevron gas stations. Where they say and mean we take better care of your car. And now back to tonight's adventure of George Valentine. You're not surprised to find a hard bitten operator like Douglas Harker mixed up in the loan shark racket that has victimized your client. You're not surprised when you run into assorted forms of mayhem. What does rock you back on your heels is that the Beautiful and wealthy Mrs. Leslie Remsen is apparently the banker and kingpin. But if you have George Valentine's recuperative powers, you counter with a surprise of your own. Now, Leslie, what does Haga have on you? I could see my husband took an immediate liking to you. I can't say I blame him. George. Okay, be evasive. I'll do the talking. I don't mind listening. He has to be blackmailing you one way or another. You wouldn't get mixed up in a filthy deal like this if you weren't forced into it. It can't be the money. Maybe I just like the excitement. You know what this shuffle means in human misery? Maybe I'm A psychopathic case. Oh, well, maybe it's as simple as this. It's almost worth being an arch criminal to be kissed like that. That's all it is, Leslie. You've got a low melting point. Well, the kiss was worth the slap. But it is the truth, isn't it? Leave me alone. A beautiful woman married to a man years older. That could be dynamite. Now what was it? Letters you wrote to somebody? Is that what Hager's holding over you? Yes, they were quite inflammatory. In fact, I remember them more vividly than the man I wrote for them. Then you'd better find a way to get them back, sister, or you're a gone gosling. No one can prove anything, not even you. I beat it out of one of Hager's mugs and the police can too. The point is, there will never be any mention of Hogger, only you. He'll make like he never heard of you before in his life. How did I get into this? George, You've got to get those letters back for me. Now you're frightened, aren't you? You can have whatever it's worth to you. Money, anything. No promises, Leslie, but I'll give it a whirl. I'll live up to my end with a bargain. You won't have to. It's all part of services rendered for another client and a lot of other people like him. Now look, Fred, I've got an idea. A way to take all the pep out of Harker. And if it works, what happened to you and Peg won't ever happen to anyone else. Let me have it. I'll do anything. I've got to get some letters out of Harga's safe at the Melody Club. Let us sign. Leslie Remsen. I don't know much about blowing safes. Now I could try to scare him into giving them to me at the point of a gun, but he knows I wouldn't shoot him. Yeah. What? And this is where you come in. If someone with a nervous trigger finger and a man sized grudge walked in, Haga would really sweat. I see what you're driving at. Sure, sure. You put on an act. You don't like the way you were taken for a ride, you're gonna get even. You want him to open the office safe so you can help yourself. I'll put on an act that could get me a Hollywood contract. Now, Fred, you know there's a risk involved. But we've gotta have those letters. You've got them. But there's just one thing. What's that that gorilla, Marty? He's always following Harer around. Never lets him out of his sight. Okay, okay, that's my job. I'll get Marty off the scene. At 9:30 tonight, Hager will be alone at the Melody Club. That's when you walk in, pick up Marty Harris for questioning. That's right, Lieutenant. And keep him under wraps overnight. What am I supposed to sweat out of him? I want him out of the way, Riley. It's important. Important? I suppose it would be rude of me to ask why not? Rude? I. I just don't want to bother you. Huh? Since when? Don't you remember, Lieutenant, this isn't in your department. Charge down the alley. They're spread now. Yeah, Gordon. Hop in. Fred. What is with Arrow? Right here. Have any trouble? Just trying to act nervous. I had to slow cargo to give me time to get out. That must have thrilled you no end. Drive around the block, Angel. Well, I don't want to sound faint hearted, but wouldn't it be a good idea to put some distance between us and the Melody Club? Drop me off at that cab stand on you, Fred. Yeah, beat it home to Peg. You did a good night's work. Well, I'll take a bow when it pays off. I hate to think I'm just supposed to keep driving around the block. Park just before you get to the entrance of the Club Roxy. I got a hunch Hug is going to come streaking out of there in a few minutes. Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of. Now, you stick on his trail. I got to know where he goes. You can call me at Leslie Remsen's. Oh, I'm sorry, Mr. Valentine, but you just missed Leslie. Oh, she seemed rather in a hurry too. Well, do you know where your wife went, Mr. Remsen? Well, let's see. It. It could be the Dolphin Room, the El Dorado, Antoine's or possibly Le Coq d'or. For a bibliophile, you know your night spots. As a husband, I know my weak spots. Not being able to keep up a hectic social pace, I tried to substitute patience in the modicum of wisdom that comes with the years. Meaning Just what, Mr. Remsen? That's not Spar. Meaning all things come to him who waits. I'm quite able and willing to wait for Leslie. You're okay, Remsen. All right. I'll kick around those spots you mentioned and see if I can find Leslie. Oh, just a moment, Valentine. You probably think it's strange I never questioned you about your business with my wife? Well, I. Of course I sense that she's in some kind of trouble. I'll. I'll even venture to say that you're here to deliver that little package, huh? Would they be ill advised letters? Leslie's very impulsive. Well, as a matter of fact. Don't be embarrassed. I'm not going to ask to see them. They don't matter. It was foolish of her to get in trouble because of them. Mr. Rampson. Why are you telling me this? Because I know you're trying to help her. That being the case, you ought to know how I feel. Oh, pardon me. Hello? Hmm? Oh, yes, yes, he's right here. For you. It's a Ms. Brooks. Oh, thanks. You ever seen, uh huh. Both of them? Huh? He met her there. The Gramercy Room? No. Use your head, angel. No matter how many of Hager's men are staking out the place, I gotta do this alone. Okay, I'll be right there. You must think I'm a fool, Douglas. You have no choice but to sign it. Leslie, you never asked me to sign receipts for money from any of your collectors before. I decided we should be more businesslike. Yes, and to avoid any stigma of blackmail, I'm going to let you have your letters back. Well, what's this gentleman trying to sell you now? Let's leave, George. Sorry we can't ask you to sit down, Mr. Valentine. Why thanks. I will. A business conference, George. Douglas said that if I sign these receipts, he'd let me have my letters back. Letters? What letters? Have you any letters belonging to the Lady Harger? I made a mistake some time ago not teaching you to keep out of my affairs. I never make the same mistake twice, Mr. Valentine. You know, I wouldn't be surprised if these were the letters you meant, George. You did get them? Uh huh. So that's why you wanted me to sign these, Douglas. You had to find some other way to keep me under your thumb. Nice try, Hager. You don't think you're going to keep those letters very long, do you? Oh, I know. You've got your private goon squad sprinkled around. Seems quite a shame that my long cherished principle of non violence should go overboard this way. I'll take them, George. They won't dare touch me. Uh, take it easy. Bust his playmates. Don't know the meaning of the word chivalry. You're a realist, Mr. Valentine. I admire that in a man. Why, Georgie, what a lovely surprise. What? The most wonderful thing just happened. Looksy. Why didn't you do as I told? Well, well, fancy seeing you here. And as I live and breathe, my old friend, Douglas Hoga. Good evening, Lieutenant. It's a funny thing, George, how I ran into Lieutenant Riley. You know, there's a big policeman ball tonight. No, I. I didn't. A sort of a spur of the moment affair, you know. Yes, and he wants us to come along as his guest. Darling, he's even got a squad car outside. A squad? Yes. Well, you'll join us, won't you, Leslie? Yes, I'll be happy to. We'll be with you in a minute. Well, don't be long now. We'll wait for them at the bar. Why, you better. You wouldn't care to go to the policeman's ball, would you, Hugger? I'm afraid I shouldn't be very good company. You know, Valentine, I relish having you as my private nemesis. If it weren't for you, my life would be much too pallid and uncomplicated. I look forward to our next meeting. Good night. Yeah. I won't forget what you've done for me, George. May I have those letters now? No, Leslie. Find his keepers. What? Yep. I think I'll just hold on to them now. Oh, incidentally, your husband is waiting for you. You know, I do a lot to keep Paul from getting hurt. He's a very nice guy. Wait a minute, I get it. Blackmail with a Good Housekeeping stamp of approval. Oh, George, before you burn those letters, you might at least have let me peek at one of them. You know, that's what I like about you, angel. You're so unscrupulously feminine. Yeah, but seriously, George, do you think Leslie and her husband will make a go of it now? Oh, maybe. As long as she thinks I still have the letters. She doesn't suspect that Paul knows about him. Darling, you should run a column of advice to the Lovelord. Dear Editor, my young man who shall be nameless keeps putting off popping the question, what shall I do? Signed, Anxious. Dear Anxious, after seeing your beautiful pictures, I'm convinced your young man is a half wit. By no means marry him. Insanity is hereditary. You can't win. If your car's battery begins to act a bit feeble toward the end of winter months, nobody's surprised. For the extra use of lights and short, stormy weather trips are an added load on battery juice. But one way you can be sure of giving your battery longer life is by using Chevron Supreme Gasoline. This premium quality fuel puts command performance in your car fast. Starts with little or no Drain on your car's battery, smooth acceleration, extra power, high octane power that makes it great on hills and it's a battery saver wherever you drive in the west because it's climate tailored. That means fast starts for your car in each different altitude and temperature zone. So for economy and for all round command performance from your car, be sure to say Chevron Supreme Gasoline. Ask for it at independent Chevron gas stations and at standard stations where they say and mean we take better care of your car. In the course of next week's adventure, we find George Valentine in a cheap rooming house. Okay, Walt, I never play AC Doocy with a.38 and now you're being smart. Well, I see you've been packing. Yeah, leaving town. All in a kind of that crazy bottle. I shouldn't. I should have thrown it down a sewer. But no, I gotta go be nice to somebody. A guy I never seen before. Who gave you the bottle, Walt? And why? You're getting nothing out of me, mister. Nothing but this. That crazy bottle. Tonight's adventure of George Valentine has been brought to you by Standard of California on behalf of independent Chevron gas stations and Standard stations throughout throughout the West. Let George do it stars Robert Bailey as George with Francis Robinson as Brooksie. Wally May appears as Lieutenant Riley. Tonight's story was written by David Victor and Herbert Little Jr. And directed by Don Clark. Also heard in the cast were Larry Dobkin as Hogger, Gene Bates as Leslie, Ted Von Eltz is Paul, Don diamond as Fred and Eddie Mar as Pagano. The music is composed and presented by Eddie Dunstetter, your announcer John Hen. Listen again next week, same time, same station to Let George Do It. This is the Mutual Don Lee Broadcasting System. There's more from Richard Diamond. Let George Do It. Case closed and open of the other Relic radio shows@ Relicradio.com our shoutcast stream is there as well with even more old time radio lots to listen to, all made possible by your support. If you'd like to help out, visit donate. Relicradio.com or click on one of the links on the website. Thanks to those who have helped out. Thanks for joining me this week. Be back again next Wednesday with another hour of Case Closed.