Stand By For Crime and Barrie Craig

Summary

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Case Closed! – "Stand By For Crime: The Lonely Hearts Club of Doom" & "Barrie Craig: Behold a Corpse"

Podcast: Case Closed! (RelicRadio.com)
Date: October 29, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode of "Case Closed!" features two classic crime stories from the golden age of radio: Stand By For Crime: The Lonely Hearts Club of Doom (1953), and Barrie Craig: Behold a Corpse (March 1, 1953). Listeners are invited to experience mysteries packed with intrigue, deception, and old-fashioned detective work as we revisit the thrill and drama of radio storytelling from the past.

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Part 1: Stand By For Crime – "The Lonely Hearts Club of Doom" (00:00–24:20)

Main Theme

A cautionary tale of loneliness, greed, and murder, this story follows newscaster Chuck Morgan as he investigates the dangers lurking behind lonely hearts ads and the schemes that prey on the vulnerable.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

• Chuck Morgan Receives a Mysterious Tip

  • Chuck is tipped off by a mysterious caller, Amos Bugsby, promising a sensational story (00:00–01:56).
  • Accompanied by his witty secretary, Carol Curtis, he travels into the countryside to meet Bugsby, setting the stage for a tense, atmospheric case.

• Bugsby's Plight: Loneliness and Deception

  • Amos Bugsby, a scarred and isolated rancher, recounts how he joined a Lonely Hearts club, driven by deep loneliness (05:15–05:59).
  • He meets a widow, Helen Cutler, and her "brother" Bob, through suspect newspaper ads (06:03–08:35).

• The Con and the Threat

  • The supposed courtship turns dark after marriage—Helen and Bob threaten Bugsby at gunpoint, aiming to make her a widow and seize his fortune (10:14–12:28).
  • Bugsby narrowly escapes, but Helen frames him to the police, leaving him a fugitive (13:05–13:29).

• Chuck's Counter-Con

  • Chuck deduces Helen and Bob are serial predators, moving from city to city (14:07–14:24).
  • He vows to set his own trap by answering their next ad under an alias (14:26–16:09).

• Sting Operation and Tragic Denouement

  • Chuck corresponds with "Mary Hayden" (Helen’s new alias), eventually marrying her in a sting operation (18:15–20:41).
  • The confrontation unravels; an emotional Helen confesses new feelings for "Jim Sawyer" (Chuck), but her brother Bob brands her a fool and attempts to kill Chuck. The police arrive just in time, but Helen is killed by Bob (21:05–24:24).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Loneliness:

  • "Loneliness is just about the hardest burden a man could have to bear. And that's why I answered the ad in the newspapers."
    —Amos Bugsby (05:44)

• The Betrayal:

  • "You fell for a sucker game and now you're gonna pay off, sucker."
    —Helen (12:00)

• Moment of Truth:

  • "I'm going to watch for the next newspaper ad to appear. Then I'm going to answer it and marry Helen myself."
    —Chuck Morgan (14:26)

• The Trap Closes:

  • "Let him have it, Bill."
    —Chuck Morgan, as the police move in (23:24)

• Wry Aftermath:

  • "Listen to her. Against her principles. Listen, birdbrain, I'm not a married man. My wife died this afternoon. She was shot to death."
    —Chuck Morgan, in banter with Carol Curtis (24:28)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Chuck receives the story lead from Amos Bugsby
• 05:44 – Bugsby discusses his loneliness
• 10:14 – Marriage and immediate betrayal
• 12:28 – Bugsby threatened, story pivots to Chuck’s investigation
• 14:26 – Chuck begins his sting operation
• 18:15 – Chuck's undercover marriage to Mary Hayden
• 21:05 – The climactic confrontation
• 24:24 – Aftermath and dark humor between Chuck and Carol

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Part 2: Barrie Craig, Confidential Investigator – "Behold a Corpse" (24:20–51:03)

Main Theme

A noir-tinged investigation into identity, inheritance, and gaslighting, as Barry Craig is hired to determine if a wealthy woman's returned husband is, in fact, an imposter—or something more insidious.

Key Discussion Points & Plot Breakdown

• The Distressed Lady Client

  • Brenda Connor suspects the man claiming to be her husband, Ralph, is an imposter; his habits, speech, and even handedness differ from the man she once knew (27:20–30:07).
  • Barry listens as she details small, inconsistent traits and an intuitive fear.

• Intrigue and Surveillance

  • Private detective Mike Hasek tails Craig and reveals Brenda's possible infidelity with tennis pro Chris Contoura (31:54–33:09).
  • Craig investigates Ralph's business partner, Saxton—discovering red flags in the business's financials and accounting for Ralph's absence (38:39–44:45).

• Layers of Deception

  • The bookkeeper exposes lies about the company's accounts and suggests Saxton (with the supposed Ralph) is conspiring to get Brenda declared incompetent in order to seize her fortune (44:45–46:07).

• Gaslighting and Legal Manipulation

  • Brenda breaks down, and “Ralph” pushes for her institutionalization, which will redirect her estate to him if successful (46:07–46:43).

• Double-Cross and Revelation

  • Hasek proposes splitting the estate with Craig, revealing even more tangled motives (47:04–48:30).
  • Craig feigns going along, then confronts “Ralph” with proof: his right-handedness, despite pretending to be left-handed—a tactic to unbalance Brenda’s mind (49:03–49:52).

• Justice

  • Barry exposes the full scheme: “Ralph” is the real article but employs psychological manipulation to induce Brenda’s breakdown and gain legal control over her estate (50:09–51:02).
  • Craig prepares to bring him to the District Attorney.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• The Setup:

  • "Some clients choose you because they hope you're stupid. They don't want a cop, they want a stooge... so they can get away with murder."
    —Barry Craig (26:25)

• A Wife’s Intuition:

  • "This man was my husband come back. I’m not so sure that it is he... There are some differences, still differences that could only mean time..."
    —Brenda Connor (28:13, 30:15)

• Descent and Gaslight:

  • "But you don’t look overjoyed."
    —Barry Craig, questioning Brenda’s feelings
  • "I could find none of them in this man…"
    —Brenda Connor (29:48)

• Accusatory Confrontation:

  • "You’re right-handed. You wrote that check out right-handed like Ralph Connor should, since he was always right-handed. But you’ve been deliberately left-handed for Mrs. Connor’s benefit since you came back to her—to confuse her about you, start her doubting your identity... so you could take control of her money and her estate."
    —Barry Craig (49:44–50:09)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 26:25 – Barry Craig’s cynical narration introduces the case
• 27:20 – Brenda Connor unburdens suspicions about her returned husband
• 30:07 – The evidence: differences in personality and handedness
• 31:54 – Mike Hasek kidnaps Craig, takes him to the roadhouse (affair revealed)
• 38:39 – Interview with Ralph Connor’s business partner Saxton
• 44:45 – Bookkeeper exposes the fraudulent accounting
• 46:07 – Ralph details plans for Brenda’s institutionalization
• 47:04 – Hasek proposes sharing the estate with Craig
• 49:03 – Craig tricks Ralph into exposing himself
• 50:09 – Scheme revealed, Craig prepares to go to the police

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Final Thoughts

"Case Closed!" delivers a double dose of 1950s radio noir, exploring not just crime and investigation, but themes of loneliness, trust, greed, and manipulation. The episode is rich with sharp dialogue, clever detective work, and moments of suspense and emotion that showcase the enduring power of classic radio storytelling.

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Transcript

[Chuck Morgan]

This is case closed mystery and crime stories from the golden age of Radio every Wednesday@ Relicradio.com A quick reminder, if you'd like to help support this and all of the shows, visit donate. Relicradio.com or click on one of the support links in the show notes. You make it all possible and have since the beginning. Thanks to those who have helped out. We're going to begin this week with Standby for Crime. We'll hear a story from 1953 titled the Lonely Hearts Club of Doom. After that, it's Barry Craig, confidential investigator. And behold a corpse from March 1, 1953. Stand by for crime. Hi, I'm Chuck Morgan, newscaster and radio station KOP here in Los Angeles. You know, being a newscaster with two shows, you sometimes have to scratch around to dig up a yarn that's different from the run of the mill stuff. Unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you care to look at it. I came up with a couple of jackpot stories a while ago and now my listeners expect me to do it at least once a week. That's why when one day last month I had nothing very exciting on the fire, I was beginning to feel a bit desperate. That's why. Also on the phone rang and a mysterious voice said that if I come to a certain he give me a story that would jack up my Hooper rating at least five points. I decided to go even though the address was 35 miles away in the Elizabeth Lake region. So Carol Curtis, my blonde secretary and I climbed into the old jalopy and headed north along Highway 99. Well, glamour puss, how do you like this country?

[Carol Curtis]

I like it. Gee, I had no idea there was such lushness so close to la.

[Chuck Morgan]

Yeah, there's a lot more now that you're here.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, you're just saying.

[Chuck Morgan]

I know. Just because I meant it.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, you're a cute Jackie boy. Oh, gosh. Look down there in that canyon there's a creek with real honest to goodness water in it.

[Chuck Morgan]

Sure, that's Elizabeth Lake. Canyon Creek runs a year round, which is unusual for Southern California.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, how do you know it runs the year round?

[Chuck Morgan]

I've been up here before.

[Carol Curtis]

Doing what?

[Chuck Morgan]

Just riding around.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, I see. Who is with you?

[Chuck Morgan]

Who is with glamour Push? You're jealous.

[Carol Curtis]

I am not. Who was with you?

[Chuck Morgan]

Nobody. I came up to get some material on that Elizabeth Lake monster story.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, oh, sure, I remember. It was that yawn about the monster that used to rise up out of the lake and frighten the Indians in the old days. Is that where we're going now?

[Chuck Morgan]

Yeah, we're almost at where we're going now. If the directions Amos Bugsby gave me are correct.

[Carol Curtis]

Just who is this Amos Bugsby anyhow?

[Chuck Morgan]

That's what we're up here to find out.

[Carol Curtis]

Well, don't you know anything about him? What he does or what he looks like or why he phoned instead of coming in or anything?

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Chuck Morgan]

All I know is he said he had a hot story and if I wanted it, come on up and give it to me.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, he sounds like one of those crackpots to me.

[Chuck Morgan]

Let's hope so. Makes the trip more interesting. Well, there's the cliff.

[Carol Curtis]

What cliff?

[Chuck Morgan]

That cliff with the niche in it. Bugsby said the road at his place turned off to the left just before we got to it. Yeah, there it is.

[Narrator]

Good.

[Amos Bugsby]

Gosh, it doesn't look as though a.

[Carol Curtis]

Car had been hearing for years.

[Chuck Morgan]

I hoped we'd find something like this. Why? More chance of a good story. There's the cabin.

[Carol Curtis]

It's just a shack hidden away in the bushes.

[Chuck Morgan]

Looks deserted too. Well, let's get out.

[Carol Curtis]

Wait a minute, Chuck.

[Chuck Morgan]

What's the matter?

[Carol Curtis]

It isn't deserted.

[Narrator]

There's a.

[Carol Curtis]

Well, there's a rifle barrel sticking out of that window.

[Chuck Morgan]

Yeah, and a man behind it.

[Narrator]

Climber.

[Chuck Morgan]

Pussy's gonna shoot that rifle. Bullet came too close for comfort. I began to think that this Bugsby was not only a crackpot but one of those crackpots about whom I'd broadcast something at one time. And now he baited me into a trap to get his revenge. Anyway, we were ducks in a barrel, sitting out in the open with no chance of a getaway. I was estimating the chances of reaching the comparative safety of the heavy undergrowth when the door of the house opened and a man carrying a rifle stepped out. He was the ugliest man I'd ever seen. Besides normally twisted features, he had a ragged scar running from the corner of his mouth to his right ear.

[Narrator]

Don't move, either one of you.

[Amos Bugsby]

I got you covered.

[Chuck Morgan]

We're not arguing that, my friend. What's the idea of using his photographer practice?

[Amos Bugsby]

You Chuck Morgan?

[Chuck Morgan]

That's right.

[Amos Bugsby]

Let's see your driver's license.

[Chuck Morgan]

I showed him my driver's license. His whole attitude changed at once. He apologized for shooting over our heads and explained that his own life was in danger and he couldn't take any chances with strangers. Well, we got out of the car and followed him to his shack.

[Amos Bugsby]

Sit over there, Ms. Curtis. I think you'll find it comfortable.

[Carol Curtis]

Thank you.

[Chuck Morgan]

Look, this is all very fine.

[Amos Bugsby]

Yes, Yes, I know, Mr. Morgan. I don't blame you for being annoyed, but every minute of every day my life is in danger. Well, I haven't slept for more than two hours at a time for weeks. I don't dare step outside this cabin in the daylight.

[Carol Curtis]

What's it all about? Mr. Bugsby?

[Chuck Morgan]

Yeah? You said you had a story for me.

[Narrator]

What is it?

[Amos Bugsby]

I have, Mr. Morgan. And when I finished, I think you'd agree that your trip up here was worthwhile.

[Narrator]

I should.

[Amos Bugsby]

So I better begin at the beginning. As you can see, I'm a very ugly man. And that means I'm a lonely man. Loneliness is just about the hardest burden a man could have to bear. And that's why I answered the ad in the newspapers.

[Chuck Morgan]

Then don't tell me you joined one of those Lonely Hearts clubs.

[Amos Bugsby]

I understand your contempt, Mr. Morgan. I hope when I've told you the rest of my story, you'll change your attitude. I did more than join a Lonely Hearts club. I replied to an ad which stated that a young widow desired correspondence with a middle aged gentleman who lived in the country. My home's in Lancaster. I have a wheat ranch there. Well, we corresponded and eventually Helen. Helen Cutler her name is, asked me to visit her at her home in Santa Monica. I accepted, but with a certain amount of misgiving.

[Narrator]

Yes?

[Amos Bugsby]

Are you Mrs. Cutler?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Yes, I am.

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, I. I'm Amos Bugsby.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Amos Bugsby. After all these weeks. Oh, this is exciting. Please come in.

[Amos Bugsby]

Then you're not disappointed?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Disappointed?

[Brenda Connor]

Why?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

What a strange thing to say. Why should I be?

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, that is my looks.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Nonsense. I'd be a fine one if I were just interested in a man because of his looks. Now and I. You just sit down here and make yourself comfortable. We've a great deal to talk about.

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, yes, we have, Helen. You know, I was really worried about. Well, about letting you see me. It was foolish of me, wasn't it?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

It certainly was. Oh, come in. Bob, I want you to meet Amos Bugsby. Amos, this is my brother, Bob.

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, well, how do you do, Bob? How'd you do?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

What'd you say the name was?

[Amos Bugsby]

Bugsby. Amos Bugsby. Bugsby, eh?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Helen, is this the man you've been telling me about?

[Narrator]

Yes.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

I've been urging him to come and see me for weeks. But up to now he's been afraid I wouldn't like his looks.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Well, now his looks are unimportant. But there are other things that are. Remember that, Helen.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

But Bob.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

See you later.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Oh, dear.

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, what's wrong? Did I do something to offend your brother? What'd I do?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Oh, it isn't that. And Bob didn't intend to be rude. It's just that, well, since my late husband died, Bob has been taking care of me. We aren't very well off. And he's so afraid I'll marry some man who. Well, who hasn't the means.

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, well, he needn't worry about that as far as I'm concerned. Oh, my.

[Chuck Morgan]

No, really, Amos.

[Amos Bugsby]

Yes, indeed. I have a wheat ranch, you know. It's a big one, too, and I've saved my money. I'm a rich man. I guess I'm worth nearly half a million dollars.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Oh, Amos, that's wonderful.

[Amos Bugsby]

I can well afford to support a wife. Yes, I can.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

You're embarrassing me, Amos.

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't intend to appear. You're not angry?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Of course not.

[Amos Bugsby]

And you will let me call again?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Well, of course. I want you to call just as often as you can. Can't be too often to suit me.

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, that's the way it started, Mr. Morgan, exactly as I have told you.

[Chuck Morgan]

But didn't you become suspicious? It seems to me that both those people were pretty obvious about their intentions.

[Amos Bugsby]

Suspicious? Yes, I suppose I was. In fact, I'm sure of it.

[Carol Curtis]

Well, then why in the world didn't you do it?

[Amos Bugsby]

Ms. Curtis, do you know what it really means to be lonesome?

[Carol Curtis]

Why, yes, I suppose I do. There have been times.

[Amos Bugsby]

Do you know what it means to wake up every morning of your life and know that you have to face each day completely alone? That among all the people you'll meet, there's not a single soul who cares. And there's no one to do little things for you or for whom you can do little things? That when night comes, you'll go to bed in an empty house and you lie awake there longing for the sound of a friendly voice or the touch of a loving hand? Well, that's the way it's been all my life, Ms. Curtis. I've never been without an ache in my heart and a long.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, no, no, no. That's all right. I just want you to know I closed my eyes to those suspicions. Why, I only saw and heard the things I wanted to see and hear. Oh, yes. Yes, I knew. But the happiness I experienced during the two weeks before Helen and I were married was worth every moment of the misery and the fear that followed.

[Chuck Morgan]

Then you were married?

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, yes, we were married. Yes, indeed. We were married by a justice of the peace. And after the ceremony, we stopped by Helen's home so she could pick up some things before starting on her. Well, here we are, my dear. You run in and get your suitcase, and then we'll drive directly to the airport. I got the plane tickets right here in my pocket.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Come on in with me.

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, yes, of course.

[Narrator]

Course.

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, Helen.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Yeah?

[Amos Bugsby]

How about a little kiss?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Nuts. Come on inside.

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, I'm sorry, my dear. Oh, well, there's time enough for that later, eh?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Yeah, time enough for that later.

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, here we are. Now, you hurry along. Don't be too long. I am an impatient husband, you know.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Oh, you are, huh? Bob. Hey, Bob.

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, well, the newlywed, huh?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

So you got him, eh, Helen?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Yeah, I got him. Everything ready?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Everything just dandy. Okay, stupid, get in here.

[Amos Bugsby]

What's that? You talking to me? What do you mean, in here?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Look, monkey face, don't ask questions. Just do like you're told.

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, Helen, what's the meaning of this?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Just do like my brother says, darling, and you'll find out.

[Amos Bugsby]

Yeah, but I don't understand. Why are you pointing that gun at me, Bob?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

So you'll know I mean business. Are you going to do like I say, or do you want it right here?

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, doesn't he understand that I'm your husband? That you're in love with me?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

In love with you? Are you kidding? Who could fall in love with a mug like that?

[Amos Bugsby]

But, darling.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Don't darling me. Look, knothead, let's face it. You fell for a soccer game and now you're gonna pay off sucker.

[Narrator]

Game?

[Amos Bugsby]

Do you mean that you don't love me?

[Carol Curtis]

That.

[Amos Bugsby]

That you think I'm ugly?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Ugly? Why, you don't even look like a human being. You think I'd fall in love with a clumsy oaf like yourself? You're crazy.

[Amos Bugsby]

But you did fall in love with me. You married me. You're my wife.

[Narrator]

I won't be for long.

[Amos Bugsby]

What do you mean by that?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Just what you're thinking, old man. Right now, I'm your wife. Ten minutes from now, I'll be your widow and he us to half a million dollars.

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, no, no, no, Helen, you can't mean that.

[Narrator]

Well, you wouldn't.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

All right, lover boy, cut out the sob stuff and get in here.

[Amos Bugsby]

No, no, no, you can't. We're not in cold blood. Well, give me a chance. I'll pay you.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

If that's what you want, I'll. Hey, who's that?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

How should I know?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

We can't ignore it. His car's out front.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Take care of him. I'll answer it.

[Chuck Morgan]

Okay, lover boy. This won't fit you. What happened after that?

[Amos Bugsby]

I woke up on the floor of an adjoining room. I heard voices in the next room. There was some talk of overdue rent, and I didn't wait to hear anymore. I got out of there as fast as I could.

[Carol Curtis]

And then what did you do?

[Amos Bugsby]

Well, I didn't dare go home. I knew they'd be after me. I was so confused and disillusioned, I spent the night alone in the motel.

[Chuck Morgan]

Why did you go to the police?

[Amos Bugsby]

I thought of that the next morning. And then I read in the papers that Helen beat me to it.

[Carol Curtis]

Beat you to it?

[Amos Bugsby]

Oh, yes. Yes, Helen was very clever. She told the police that I admired her and then deserted her. So now the police are looking for me, too.

[Chuck Morgan]

Helen and her alleged brother are clever, all right. Even if you did go to the police, what kind of a case did you have? The records show you were married. You have no proof other than your own word that she and her brother had threatened to murder you. On the other hand, you'd run away.

[Amos Bugsby]

That's it, Mr. Morgan. That's it exactly. But until I'm dead, Helen cannot inherit my estate. And that's why I'm hiding out here. That's why every minute of every day I live in fear for my life.

[Chuck Morgan]

Yeah, vicious circle. On the other hand, Helen and her brother won't leave town until they do locate you. And in order to exist, they've got to continue with their lousy business.

[Carol Curtis]

What do you mean by that, Chuck?

[Chuck Morgan]

I mean, I know something about this racket. Helen and her brother move from city to city working on people like Amos. This is probably the most important job they've ever run afoul of. So they'll stay here until they find Amos working the same gag, only under different names.

[Carol Curtis]

And what are you going to do about it?

[Chuck Morgan]

I'm going to watch for the next newspaper ad to appear. Then I'm going to answer it and marry Helen myself. There are more than 300 marriage bureaus and lonely hearts clubs that dot this broad land of ours. Some are on the level and some aren't. Of those that aren't, the vast majority stop at merely fleecing the poor, unsuspecting victims of their life savings. And then there are those like the one that sold Amos Bugsby down the river, that go in for cold blooded murder. Well, Carol and I left Amos in his mountain hideout and drove back to town. I'd made him a promise and intended keeping it, but it was going to take a lot of doing. I had a talk with Pappy Mansfield, owner of kop, and two days later an ad appeared in the papers that could have been inserted by the same gal who trapped Bugsby this time. Her name was Mary Hayden. She was living in Pasadena. She was still a young widow who wanted to enter into correspondence with someone living in the country. I answered the ad, got a fast reply, and for two weeks we kept up the hottest correspondence you ever read. Then came the inevitable invitation to visit her. So on a Thursday morning, I drove out to the address she'd given me in Pasadena. It was a small frame house set in among some pepper trees. The girl who answered my ring fitted the description of the woman Bugsby had married perfectly. Are you Mrs. Hayden?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Yes, I am.

[Chuck Morgan]

Well, I'm Jim Sawyer.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Jim Sawyer. Well, this is a surprise. Pleasant surprise. Won't you come in?

[Chuck Morgan]

Thank you. It's a pleasant surprise for me, too, Mary. You don't mind my calling you Mary?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Oh, not at all, Jim. Why is it a pleasant surprise for you?

[Chuck Morgan]

Well, I hardly expected to find so attractive of a girl being lonely.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Well, it's because of my brother, Ray. Since my late husband died, he's been taking care of me. We haven't much money, and Ray is very particular with whom I associate. Especially men.

[Chuck Morgan]

I see.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

But tell me about yourself, Jim. You hardly look to me like a fit character for a lonely existence.

[Chuck Morgan]

Well, as I told you in my letters, I work for an oil company and spend most of my time in the field. Never any women around. And when you're boss of a crew, you don't get to know your men very well.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

I understand perfectly. Oh, here's Ray. Ray, this is Jim Sawyer. Jim, this is my brother, Ray.

[Chuck Morgan]

Hello, Ray.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

What did you say the name was?

[Chuck Morgan]

Sawyer. Jim Sawyer.

[Narrator]

Sawyer. Right.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Mary, is this the man you've been telling me about?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Yes. Isn't he attractive? I knew he would be. He wrote such nice letters.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

His looks are unimportant. Well, there are other things that are.

[Amos Bugsby]

Remember that, Mary.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

But, Ray.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

See you later.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Oh, dear.

[Chuck Morgan]

What's the matter with him? Did I say something wrong?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Oh, it isn't that. Ray didn't intend to be rude. It's just that, well, he's so afraid I'll marry some man who hasn't the means.

[Chuck Morgan]

Oh, well, he needn't worry about that as far as I'm concerned.

[Carol Curtis]

Really?

[Chuck Morgan]

When I said I was in oil, I meant I had shares in several Wells? My income runs around 50,000 a year. You think that'd satisfy your brother?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Oh, Jim, that's wonderful. I didn't mean to be bright.

[Chuck Morgan]

I didn't mean to be proposing marriage at this early stage.

[Narrator]

You.

[Chuck Morgan]

You will let me call again, won't you?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Well, I shall be disappointed if you don't.

[Narrator]

Thank you.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Come as often as you like. You'll always be welcome.

[Chuck Morgan]

Well, the whole thing was following the Amos Bugsby pattern perfectly. That pair read their lines without a fluff. Ray had entered on cue. The entire act was running as smoothly as the oil on my alleged wells. During the next 10 days, I saw a lot of Mary. We did the town. And in spite of myself, I had a pretty good time. Especially since every tab I picked up was on Pappy Mansfield. I was glad that Carol Curtis wasn't around to witness some of our cozy rendezvous. She'd have blown her top. As a matter of fact, she came pretty close to doing just that when I told her the date was set for Mary's and my wedding.

[Carol Curtis]

From where I sit, Mr. Morgan, marrying this female is entirely unnecessary to the success of your nutty idea.

[Chuck Morgan]

And from where I sit, Ms. Curtis, marrying this female is entirely, entirely necessary to the success of my plan.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Why?

[Chuck Morgan]

Because she's already married to Amos Bugsby, remember? If we can't get her in anything else, we can charge her with being a bigamist. Well, I still don't see why I'm trying to see. I'm going through with it. I've worked for a month on this story, and I'm not going to junk it just because some dumb blonde. I'm sorry. Glamour puss.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, Chuck, please don't do it. I'm worried. About what?

[Narrator]

Well.

[Carol Curtis]

Well, what if they decide not to murder you until after the honeymoon?

[Chuck Morgan]

Decide not to mur.

[Narrator]

You're wonderful.

[Chuck Morgan]

Well, I went through with it, all right, Only it didn't turn out as I planned. Something happened. I had it counted on. Something that very nearly threw me for a loss. The Amos Bugsby pattern held through the ceremony, which was performed by justice of peace. So when we started back to Mary's place to pick up her things, it changed. Mary didn't say two words until we stopped in front of the house and she just sat there. Well, what's the matter, sweetheart? You don't look very happy.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

I'm not.

[Chuck Morgan]

You get over it. Lots of brides are unhappy the first couple of hours. Come on, now, get your things and we'll get.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

No, Tim, No. I don't want you to go in there?

[Chuck Morgan]

Why not? I want to say goodbye to Ray.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Ray isn't home. He had to leave town this morning on business.

[Chuck Morgan]

Look, I'm not gonna let you carry those heavy zooks.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

They aren't heavy. I can manage them.

[Carol Curtis]

All right.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

You stay here and wait for me. I'll be right back.

[Chuck Morgan]

I sat there a minute or two trying to figure this one out. Then I saw a car pull up to the opposite curb. Bill Meggs and Pappy Mansfield were inside. I sat there, watching me. Well, this was it. I signaled them to go around back of the house, got out of the car and started up the walk.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

You two timing little chisel. You think that's going to make any difference?

[Narrator]

I mean, come, Jim, you can't.

[Brenda Connor]

I won't let you.

[Chuck Morgan]

What's going on here?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Well, if it ain't the brand new groom all in the sweat that gets tired on his honeymoon. Stand over there, jerk.

[Chuck Morgan]

Put down that gun, Ray. It might go off and hurt someone.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Well, now, that's just what it's going to do. And you're going to be on the receiving end, punk. And my name ain't Ray, it's Bob. Before that was Joe. Before that was Charlie.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

Stop it, Ray.

[Brenda Connor]

Stop it.

[Narrator]

Shut up, you little tramp.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

I don't care whether you fall in love with a square or not. I mean, he's just another sucker walked into our little trap. I'm going to knock him off and you're going to inherit his dough and split it with me just like we always done.

[Brenda Connor]

Please, Ray.

[Narrator]

Please.

[Brenda Connor]

He's my husband. I'm in love with him. I didn't think it would ever happen to me, but it has. It's the first decent feeling I've ever had.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

I don't want him to die. I want him to laugh.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Why, you dope.

[Chuck Morgan]

Listen to me, Ray. Mary, in a way, I'm glad this happened. Now you know how the others felt. They had good, clean, decent feelings, too. Men like Amos Bug.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Amos Bugs? Who the devil are you?

[Chuck Morgan]

Not the man you think, Ray. I'm Chuck Morgan, newscaster on radio station klp.

[Narrator]

Newscaster?

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Mary, did you hear that?

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

I don't care who he is.

[Brenda Connor]

He's my husband and I'm in love with him.

[Chuck Morgan]

I'm sorry, Mary. I'm not your husband. Not while Amos Bugsby and a few others are alive.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

And you don't love me.

[Chuck Morgan]

I despise you, Mary, for a cheat and a murderess.

[Brenda Connor]

Oh, no, no, you can't mean that. You do love me. All those things you Said none of.

[Chuck Morgan]

Them were anywhere near as bad as the things you said or did to men like Bugsby. You're no good, Mary. Instead of winding up on a honeymoon, you're going to wind up in a gas chamber.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Well, listen to that, will you? Wind up in a gas chamber. And just how do you think you're going to pull that one out of the head? You know, if you got an idea you're going to walk out of here without a hole in your head, you're nuts.

[Chuck Morgan]

I'm not altogether a fool, Bob. Listen. Hear that? That's a police coming in the rear door. The minute I give the signal, they'll be coming in the front door, too.

[Narrator]

Why you.

[Bob / Ray (Helen/Mary's brother)]

Not before I take care of you? They won't, Mary. Stand back. Get out of the way.

[Narrator]

No.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

You're not gonna shoot him. I don't care what happens to me.

[Brenda Connor]

I love him.

[Amos Bugsby]

Get out of the way, I said no.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

I don't care what happens to me. You're not gonna shoot him, Mary, you little fool.

[Chuck Morgan]

Let him have it, Bill. Well, Happy and Bill Megs didn't arrive any too soon. As far as Mary or Helen or whatever her name was is concerned, they arrived too late. Bob's bullet caught her squarely between the eyes, killing her instantly. It's probably just as well her fate would have been the gas chamber. As it will be the fate of Bob, her alleged brother. Bill Meigs was on Bob like a leech the second after he pulled the trigger. It was an easy matter to subdue him. That's the way things go. People who think they can get away with any kind of racket usually wind up behind the eight ball. As for Amos Bugsby, he's back in his wheat ranch a wiser and happier man. He's no longer interested in romance. Which is a decision I almost reached myself. When I asked Carol, Curtis and Pappy to have dinner with me that evening.

[Carol Curtis]

Nope. I never go out with married men. It's against my principles.

[Chuck Morgan]

Listen to her. Against her principles. Listen, birdbrain, I'm not a married man. My wife died this afternoon. She was shot to death.

[Carol Curtis]

Oh, that's so, isn't it? Well, I don't go out with widowers either. That's against my principles, too.

[Chuck Morgan]

How do you like that, Pappy? What would you do with a babe who had so many principles?

[Carol Curtis]

I'm not a babe.

[Narrator]

Well, I'll tell you what I'd do, Chuck.

[Amos Bugsby]

You remember that redheaded niece of mine I told you was coming down from.

[Narrator]

San Francisco for a visit?

[Chuck Morgan]

What?

[Carol Curtis]

Redheaded me.

[Amos Bugsby]

She's 22 years old and a real knock.

[Chuck Morgan]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Narrator]

Now, I was thinking, Chuck, if I.

[Amos Bugsby]

Bought the tickets, you could.

[Carol Curtis]

No.

[Chuck Morgan]

What? But Carol, if you no longer want.

[Carol Curtis]

Happy Mansfield, you deserted me.

[Narrator]

Oh, I hate you.

[Carol Curtis]

I didn't know you had a red headed niece who was good looking.

[Helen Cutler / Mary Hayden]

And if you think for one minute.

[Narrator]

That.

[Barry Craig]

William Gargan stars as Barry Craig, confidential investigator.

[Narrator]

There'S a familiar saying which goes, give a rogue enough rope and he'll hang himself. The theory holds fine. Except in one instance. What if the chap doling out the rope happens to be the hangman?

[Barry Craig]

The National Broadcasting Company presents William Gargan in another transcribed drama of mystery and adventure with America's number one detective, Barry Craig, confidential investigator.

[Narrator]

Barry Craig speaking. A confidential investigator isn't always hired on his merits. His merits as a fact finder. I mean. Some clients choose you because they hope you're stupid. They don't want a cop, they want a stooge. You're to be the front behind which they can keep a criminal operation going. You're the rubber stamp certifying their sincerity so they can get away with murder. Yeah, you get them like that. Cases phony from the word go. That was my first hunch on Brenda Connor. A brunette with a tendency to overact. We launched her case in Central park in a handsome carriage, complete with horse, silk hatted driver and lap robe around the park at $3 an hour. But I wasn't paying the tab. The lady was. Why the handsome cab and the freezing weather? I didn't ask. You get used to eccentrics.

[Brenda Connor]

The rhythmic clippity club? I'm able to think.

[Narrator]

So who's the demon?

[Brenda Connor]

Demon?

[Narrator]

The demon pursuing you.

[Brenda Connor]

You have a flippant way, Mr. Craig.

[Narrator]

To cover up my emotions. I'm the type who identifies sad lady like you. I can cry harder than any little white cloud around. You were about to tell me it's my husband. Funny now how it always is.

[Brenda Connor]

Ralph Connor. He was gone for five years. Completely out of my life.

[Narrator]

A long wait for a streetcar.

[Brenda Connor]

I'd almost forgotten him. And then one week ago, he came back to me.

[Narrator]

And you resent his return?

[Brenda Connor]

I didn't say that.

[Narrator]

That's right, you didn't. But you don't look overjoyed.

[Brenda Connor]

No, but it isn't what you think. I have no basic quarrel with my marriage, even despite the separation.

[Narrator]

But throw the punchline, Ralph.

[Brenda Connor]

This man was my husband. Come back. I'm not so sure that it is he.

[Narrator]

I let Brenda Connor continue to unburden her soul over coffee. The tab was on me this time. How much coffee could a lady drink?

[Brenda Connor]

My alarm's about my husband. Ralph?

[Narrator]

Yeah.

[Brenda Connor]

I don't mean to leave the impression.

[Narrator]

With you that you're sure he's an impersonator.

[Brenda Connor]

Yes. My reaction to him since his return, my suspicions have been intuitive more than actual. I feel I don't know.

[Narrator]

Her husband takes off for five years and then suddenly he's back. How did you receive him?

[Brenda Connor]

Gladly enough at first.

[Narrator]

You asked him questions?

[Brenda Connor]

Yes. His explanation of his absence seemed genuine to me. Understandable. He'd been out of sorts with himself. Suddenly 40 and restless, disoriented and neurotic. Full of self dislike, dissatisfaction with the career he'd chosen.

[Narrator]

Said career?

[Brenda Connor]

Realty Management, Connor and Saxton. Saxton is his business partner.

[Narrator]

When did the doubt begin for you? The doubt, intuitive as you call it, that this voyager come back maybe wasn't really your husband.

[Brenda Connor]

The very first evening. Ralph was different. A stranger I didn't know after five.

[Narrator]

Years he would be.

[Brenda Connor]

Yes, yes, I know. But what I mean is the personality I once knew, the habits, the little things a wife knows about her husband. I could find none of them in this man.

[Narrator]

Little things? Can you give me something specific?

[Brenda Connor]

Yes. The foods Ralph liked, always liked. This man is very different. Taste and even his speech, his way of phrasing things. And his thoughts. So different, so very changed. And even something physical.

[Narrator]

What's that?

[Brenda Connor]

Left handed. This man is left handed. My husband with a husband I knew.

[Narrator]

Wasn'T quite a switch that. How about his appearance? Looks?

[Brenda Connor]

Oh, there are some differences. Still differences. That could only mean time. How time changes the fate. Ralph was full in the cheeks. This man is gaunt, thinner. Oh, mind you, I'm not saying. Oh, I don't know what I'm saying. I'm confused. I'm so confused I can't even think straight. Mr. Craig.

[Narrator]

Hooray for confusion. But there was more to it than the lady was telling. They're always is. I got a peek into what was omitted in the telling. The time was later that same afternoon. It was raining bucket. I had my formal tie on for a ride over to see the husband, Ralph Connor, firsthand. The great thing about a jalopy, it either starts or it doesn't. Mine wouldn't wet wires from the downpour, I figured. But my guess was wrong. There was a gentleman on hand to correct me on it. You only run your battery down. Craig, get off the starter. A guy in a rain sled slouched in the back of my car. Nice eyes and an easy grin. And a familiar swell near the left armpit. I knew what that swell was. I had one myself to match it. A gun holster. Wires aren't wet, Craig. There's another reason she won't start. What's that? This here. Your rotor. Rotor? You don't know about cars. I know they go or don't go. The rotor belongs under the hood on the engine, where the distributor is. I removed it. Why? So your car wouldn't go. Why again? So you'd bum a ride from me. Where are you parked?

[Barry Craig]

Right behind you.

[Narrator]

Come on, I'll show for you. You sound like you know where I'm going. Yeah, I think so. See Ralph Connor? You want to look him over? You're well informed. I took courses in mind reading. Come on, I'll drive you to Ralph Connor. This is. No, not right away. I've got something else to show you first. Are you stalling, Craig? No, I'm thinking about the penalty for armed kidnapping. 20 years. Life if you cross state lines. That's a Lindbergh law. And the chair? If you compound kidnapping with murder. So what's it to be, Craig? I'd been grabbed at gunpoint before, but this one had a new wrinkle. No violence. No dent in my skull. No impulsive ride to the country. Just a short ride over to Queens to a roadhouse you had to shove your way into. More people and floor space. Jam at the bar and a jam on the postage stamp dance floor. People laughing it up. People living it up. Look over the dance floor. You see something? Yeah. Sweat and suffocation. No, I mean faces. For instance, over there, the brunette swooning all over the he man in a plaid shirt. You see her? I see her. You know her? Brenda Connor, my client. Well, that ends my mission. So long, Craig. You're on your own now, buster. Wait. Yeah? Craig, the plaid shirt with my client. He's not Ralph Connor. Married folks don't spend time here with each other. Now he's Chris Contoura. He's a tennis player. A tennis player. Love matches in the hot afternoon sun. And love matches under hot blue lights with slender ladies with fat checkbooks. Is this why you brought me here? To show you a two timing wife? So you discount half to 90% of what she told you? Look, as long as we're. I've said all I want to so you won't knock yourself out identifying me when I'm gone. Here's my card. So long again. The card he'd left with Me read Mike Hasek, private detective. The guy who'd put the polite snatch on me was a private eye. I switched my plans around. You do? With new developments. I didn't try to interview Ralph Connor right off. I drove over to his residence to case the place. Pretty fancy. A townhouse all lit up like utility bills were no concern to anybody. There was a parlor floor drawing room that opened onto a stone balcony. I was enough of a gymnasium genius to make the balcony without setting up too much of a commotion. After 10 minutes of eavesdropping on the rustle of thick oriental carpets, I got to listen to a live show. And Brenda Connor, the guy I took to be her ever loving Mr. On the other side of the glass.

[Barry Craig]

You've got that odd look again, Brenda.

[Brenda Connor]

Look, Ralph? What odd look?

[Barry Craig]

The frail, pale princess in the grip of a nameless terror.

[Brenda Connor]

Oh, you've been cruel. Deliberately.

[Barry Craig]

Deliberately to unnerve me.

[Brenda Connor]

Push me to the edge of reason.

[Barry Craig]

Push me beyond the edge.

[Brenda Connor]

Into insanity.

[Barry Craig]

Yes, I see. Now, suppose you try the shoe.

[Brenda Connor]

I try the shoe to see how it fits you.

[Barry Craig]

What's been your scheme with me?

[Brenda Connor]

Scheme? I have no scheme.

[Barry Craig]

The terrified glances since my return, so nicely timed when company watches. So beautifully acted. And the way you contrive to look at me. Other times, the unfamiliar stares. If I were not your husband, but an interloper.

[Brenda Connor]

Not an interloper, Ralph, but a.

[Barry Craig]

Yes, Brenda, an impostor. I see. I am not who I am, Is that what you're saying? What about me is so changed? I'd like to know.

[Brenda Connor]

Brenda, everything is changed. Your manner, your talk, your habits. So many little things. And not like the Ralph I knew. The Ralph I remember.

[Barry Craig]

An impostor. That was your word. Do you then really think I am not Ralph Connor? That I am somebody else? Some diabolical somebody else playing at being Ralph Connor?

[Brenda Connor]

I don't know.

[Chuck Morgan]

I don't know.

[Narrator]

It was time to get off the balcony and make a more formal entrance into the life of Ralph Connor through the front door. I started to do same when I had a mishap. Cute word, mishap. It can mean anything. It can mean a tear in your trousers from an unexpected nail. It could mean a ton of brass landing on your head. In my case, it meant the last mentioned a ton of brass. It fell from a height from upstairs somewhere with cannonball speed. What? Who? I was too sleepy to care. I just lay down.

[Barry Craig]

Back to Barry Craig in just a moment. And now back to William Gargan, starring as Barry Craig, confidential investigator.

[Narrator]

One thing about Consciousness. It always returns sooner or later. If you're not dead, that is. I wasn't. I had proof. I wasn't. I could wiggle a finger. When you're dead you can't. Rigor mortis won't allow it. I was on a couch with a guy slapping coal compresses on my forehead. Guy with nice eyes and an easy smile. And wearing a rain slicker indoors. He was the private eye. Mike Hasek. Able to get up now, Craig? I'm up. What hit me? A flower pot. Solid brass was on the window ledge three flights up. It fell? No. Oh, it was dropped on me. That's right. By whom? Me. You're working for the Mr. Ralph Kerner? That's right. An impersonator. Stand in for the real article if you want to believe a wacky two timing wife. I see who owns all the loot in the family. So don't answer it. I can guess. The way it shapes my client, Brenda Connor does. Your client hasn't got a dime. That stuff about Ralph Connor being an impersonator is the malarkey craze. Maybe. But answer me this. Can a man who's been right handed to the age of 40 suddenly turn up left handed but don't answer it? Has it? Think about it while I'm busy somewhere else. You're gonna heckle Connor? Maybe. Oh, Hussey. Come here. To the rear window a minute? Yes. What's outside? The yard? Yeah, it's a backyard. Not much of a drop. Only 10ft. I'd guess it to be 10ft. So what? So one of us has to be discouraged. You've had your whack at me. Now it's turnabout. Greg.

[Barry Craig]

Let me go.

[Narrator]

Put me down. Put you down? Sure. Exactly what I intend doing. You meet some guys sometimes who have to be paid back in their own coin. I didn't set up a talk with Ralph Connor. I passed him up a second time. I had nothing to say to him yet. Instead I looked up Saxton of Connor and Saxton Realty Management. Connor's business partner. Maybe he could shed some light. A short guy with two stomachs and pink ears. Like he was always blushing. There was an oily look to him like he was an accomplished pony. I still don't quite understand the purpose of your call here to me, Mr. Craig. If you've stalled long enough, Saxon. If I've stalled, Worked out answers in your head. Well, I have no ulterior motives in evading you then. Well, it's just that I don't Care to become embroiled in the man's affairs? That is, his affairs, other than our joint business. Frankly, I've always found Connor strange and unpredictable. Explosive. He was gone for five years? Yes. Did you keep his end of the business up for all that time? Oh, yes, scrupulously. His share of the net profits were put into an escrow account for what they amounted to. His drawing account of Goss was suspended while he was gone. In the time he was away, did he write to you? Keep in touch? No. Now, a big question. Is he Ralph Connor? Yes. Mr. Craig. You don't seem surprised at the question. No, I'm not surprised anymore. I've been asked the same question before. By who? Two persons. By Mrs. Connor and by a private detective named Mike Hasek. So Hasick wasn't so sure of his client's identity either. What's that you said? Just thinking out loud. What makes you sure this new Connor is the same old Connor? Why everything about him? Like.

[Barry Craig]

Like?

[Narrator]

Well, I. I don't know how to answer that. Quite. He. He looks like Ralph Connor facially and physically. He knows about me, our business, the background of our business. He's demonstrated all that to you? Why, yes. Yes, of course. He has demonstrated an intimate knowledge of our business. It couldn't be faked. The man simply had to know Connor was Connor. Only thing, Saxton didn't sell me the notion convincingly enough. I double checked on Saxton's truthfulness by applying some heat to the office bookkeeper of Connor and Saxton. Why, Mr. Saxton told you outrageous falsehoods.

[Brenda Connor]

Outrageous.

[Narrator]

He didn't ring true to me too much. Good I got to you, Mr. What's it again, pippet?

[Brenda Connor]

I'm the one to tell the truth.

[Narrator]

Oh, that's peachy dandy. But get around to telling it.

[Brenda Connor]

Well now, Ralph Connor, the new one.

[Narrator]

He'S a queer one. Meaning?

[Brenda Connor]

Well, when he came back after being away all that time, he didn't know my name. He kept calling me Pippin and Poppin. Pippin and Poppin. Mind you, when it's pippin' like it's.

[Narrator]

Always been pretty staggering.

[Brenda Connor]

And then about the business, he didn't know about the old Cameroon account.

[Narrator]

He didn't, huh?

[Brenda Connor]

The biggest account in the Connor Saxton Agency. And he didn't even seem to know he had it. Like this wasn't his business.

[Narrator]

What else?

[Brenda Connor]

Well, his easy way about money.

[Narrator]

Tipping me a dollar.

[Brenda Connor]

When he sent me out for coffee, the old Ralph Connor only tipped 5 cents.

[Narrator]

Is the new Ralph Connor also easy about money? In other ways. Business ways. For instance?

[Brenda Connor]

I. I don't know what you mean.

[Narrator]

I mean, like not asking for an accounting from Saxton to cover the five years Connor was away.

[Brenda Connor]

Well, then there never was an accounting.

[Narrator]

And. And Mr. Connor never yet asked for one. Well, you'd know that. You're the bookkeeper.

[Barry Craig]

Yes.

[Brenda Connor]

Yes, I'd be the one to know, all right.

[Narrator]

Is there an escrow account with Connor's share of the profits of the last five years in it? Oh, no, there's no escrow account. Well, were there any profits the last five years Connor's been away?

[Brenda Connor]

Oh, yes, yes.

[Narrator]

Good profits. Business has been very good. How good were the profits? Well, I couldn't say without going over the books. $50,000 is that close to it? It isn't far from it. And a sharpie like Saxton would have reason to play ball with somebody. Not the real Connor, but an impersonator. Keep all the accumulated business profits so long as the new Connor didn't stick his hand out or yell for the da. Well, I'm afraid now you're getting too deep. Forget it. You've been a great help. You can go back to your books now, Pippin.

[Brenda Connor]

The name is not Pippet.

[Narrator]

Oh, my mistake, Poppin.

[Brenda Connor]

It's Pippet.

[Narrator]

It was time to form an independent impression of Ralph Connor. I figured the townhouse sat next door to the East River. I just got into the doorbell when I found myself doing some more eavesdropping. Nothing subtle this time. Anybody for a mile around could eavesdrop along with me. A scream has carrying power. A high pitched woman scream. Brenda Connor. I could identify the voice. Brenda Connor at home either being strangled to death or blowing her top inside the house. I didn't get to see my screaming client. She was in her room behind locked doors. The husband, Ralph Connor, told me the melancholy facts. Or do I mean the melancholy fiction?

[Barry Craig]

Brenda is in there in her room with her doctor.

[Narrator]

Doctor who?

[Barry Craig]

Does that matter?

[Narrator]

It matters. I'm jotting it down in my notebook. Mrs. Connor is my client.

[Barry Craig]

Dr. Thipper. 275 Dartmouth Street. If you also want the address. Phipps is Brenda's own physician.

[Narrator]

I get your emphasis. When can I see Mrs. Connor?

[Barry Craig]

I don't know. She's under restraints.

[Narrator]

Restraints?

[Barry Craig]

Meaning she's had a nervous breakdown all of a sudden? No. My wife has a history of, say, emotional instability, hallucinations, compulsive behavior, a fascination for unsavory places and people.

[Narrator]

That's a careful reference to the roadhouse and tennis Adonis Mike hasek made sure I'd see.

[Barry Craig]

Yes, so that you'd be aware of all the facts. This emotional instability in Brenda. It's one of the reasons I left her five years ago. I've had all I could stand of hysteria.

[Narrator]

You make a glib case of it.

[Barry Craig]

It's the truth.

[Narrator]

What happens to Brenda Connor from here on?

[Barry Craig]

Hospitalization. It's not the first time Brenda has been confined before.

[Narrator]

And cured.

[Barry Craig]

Evidently not. As this new breakdown shows.

[Narrator]

Comes the time she's declared mentally incompetent. Who gets her money?

[Barry Craig]

That is an impertinent question.

[Narrator]

I'll answer it. You do. You step into her estate. I'll even bet you've already got the petition before the court. With Dr. Phipps affidavit pinned to it.

[Barry Craig]

I don't care to dignify this nonsense any longer, Ms. Craig. So if you don't mind. Good night.

[Narrator]

On the street, I had an encounter with a guy who was making a habit of it. Stop a minute, Craig. What for, Isaac? A talk. Friendly talk. With a gun in my ribs. Guns for my own protection. You play too hard. So do you. I have to. I'm in it for the cabbage. Just like you. Speak only for yourself. You'll change your mind. A hundred grand. We spit it down the middle. Who gives it to us? Connor, if you don't spoil it for him. Keep talking. Connor is a phony, an impersonator, like you said. The real Connor, he probably knocked off somewhere, the way I figure it. But none of our business. Now this Connor grabs the wife's estate. We let him. You let him. Then the bite. He pays us off. We own him. You're sure of your facts? I checked. I sized everything up. Connor's a fake. A smart fake. And a winner. Let's win with him. Okay. Why did Connor hire you in the first place, Hasek? To follow his wife around, report on who she saw, spent time with that tennis player. You. So now tell me. You playing it smart along with me? What do you think? I think you are. Sure you are. What have you got against money? I played it smart. The poor man's way. I didn't go home and let Connor play out his scheme. I went back to Connor for a closer look at his scheme.

[Barry Craig]

You've become a frequent visitor, Ms. Gray.

[Narrator]

Every 10 minutes. I realized out on the street that I'd said things in here to you that were out of line. I'm sorry.

[Barry Craig]

Forget it.

[Narrator]

Thanks. I can see now what a screwball Mrs. Connor is. And how I went to the bus. The only thing?

[Barry Craig]

Yes, Mr. Craig.

[Narrator]

I'm a working operative. I put in time and sweat. I've had expense.

[Barry Craig]

Oh, I see. You've got a bill and you're wondering how you're ever going to get paid.

[Narrator]

That's it. It's no obligation of yours, I know.

[Barry Craig]

Oh, nonsense. I'll pay Ms. Connor's bill. In fact, I'll make out a check right here and now. How much is it, Mr. Craig?

[Narrator]

Well, 100 will about COVID it.

[Barry Craig]

$100? Very well. Here you are, Mr. Craig. A $100 check for you.

[Narrator]

It means more to me than you think, Mr. Connor.

[Barry Craig]

You don't have to thank me. The money's due you.

[Narrator]

But I didn't mean it like that. Guess again, Connor.

[Barry Craig]

I. I frankly don't understand you.

[Narrator]

I'll explain myself. You wrote out a check and you also wrote out a confession.

[Barry Craig]

A confession?

[Narrator]

You're right handed. You wrote that check out right handed like Ralph Connor should since he was always right handed.

[Barry Craig]

Look here, Craig.

[Narrator]

Let me finish. But you've been deliberately left handed for Mrs. Connor's benefit since you came back to her to confuse her about you. Start her doubting your identity. See you as an imposter. But never be sure until she went out of her mind like she has, would you?

[Barry Craig]

You can't prove a thing, Craig.

[Narrator]

All kinds of tricks like that to play on her imagination. You thin down, change your known habits and clothes and foods, your style of talk. All to make an already unstable woman a screaming lunatic. Have her declared mentally incompetent so you could take control of her money and her estate. How big is the estate, Connor? Big. I judge it to be no end of money. It has to be a fabulous grab to rate your fancy technique in crime.

[Barry Craig]

I say again, you can't prove a.

[Narrator]

Thing because you're really Ralph Connor. Huh? And can prove it. Birth certificate. Relative stuck somewhere. Fingerprints. That's what you're gambling on. Why you're so cocksure you're immune. You figure win or lose you can't lose since you're really not an impersonator but the genuine article. Get your hat anyhow, Connor. My hat.

[Barry Craig]

Where are we going?

[Narrator]

To the District Attorney's office to see what charge he can fit to your kind of cute scheme. Offhand I'd say conspiracy. But what do you bet the DA finds a few more in the book? Foreign. You have been listening to William Gargan in another exciting transcribed mystery drama from the Adventures of Barry Craig. Confidential Investigator Ra.