Catholic Answers Live – Episode #12471

Title: How to Survive Family Discussions This Thanksgiving and More
Guest: Rose Sweet
Host: Cy Kellett
Date: November 24, 2025

Episode Overview

In this lively and practical holiday episode, Cy Kellett welcomes relationship coach and author Rose Sweet to discuss “being Christian at Thanksgiving”—a humorous but deeply relevant topic for listeners dreading family drama during the holidays. Together, they break down a scriptural and common-sense approach to surviving—and thriving in—family conversations, offering seven Christ-like strategies, real-life anecdotes, and wisdom for when the turkey comes with a side of tension.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Challenge of Family Holidays

• The episode acknowledges that holidays, especially Thanksgiving and Christmas, are meant to be joyful, but often come with stress, family arguments, and expectations.
• Rose Sweet, known for her expertise in relationships, especially in marriage, brings a fresh perspective on being Christian in the messiness of real life.

The “Seven Tips” for Christ-like Holiday Gatherings

1. Be Realistic ([03:45])

• No family is perfect. The Bible itself (Matthew 10) describes family discord; expecting perfection invites disappointment.
• “Be realistic that there are problems in families and there are problems in your family... If they do [come out at Thanksgiving], don't be surprised. Be realistic and just accept it. That's part of our broken being in a broken world.” —Rose ([04:03])
• Host Cy jokes that happiness studies found Finns were content simply because of low expectations, to which Rose responds, "I love that. Lower your expectations. Especially in relationships." ([06:53])

2. Fear Not ([07:12])

• Anxiety often mars holidays, especially for parents wanting to impress faith or correct family.
• “Conversion is the Holy Spirit's job. Sometimes he invites us to partner with him... but we have to get out of his way sometimes.” —Rose ([08:25])
• Jesus was unbothered by dining with “sinners”: “Jesus isn't afraid of sinners... He's chill, he's fine.” —Cy ([09:01])

3. Be Wise ([10:09])

• Set and enforce boundaries ahead of time—communicate what’s expected, tolerated, or not.
• “If you don't want your son to bring his live-in girlfriend and sleep in your house, then tell them way ahead so they can get a hotel... Tolerate more than you're willing to not tolerate. Especially for this day. Just open your heart...” —Rose ([10:17])
• Candid story about asking an inebriated family member to leave a holiday gathering. “It was my responsibility to be wise. In that situation, you don't tolerate this. Some things you tolerate, some things you don't.” ([12:29])

4. Keep Quiet ([18:01])

• “Not every comment needs a response... Sometimes just a look or a nod of the head is fine. And it puts you in a power position because the minute you open your mouth... you're already going to lose. Just keep quiet.” —Rose ([18:08])
• Cy comments, “Not sharing your opinion is one of the greatest gifts you can give the world.” ([19:06])
• Rose references Jesus before Herod: “Jesus said not one word when he was in front of Herod. So keep quiet. Know the wisdom and the power and the beauty... of being quiet.” ([20:08])

5. Stay Detached ([20:46])

• Healthy Christian detachment means not being emotionally enmeshed or “over-engaged in a power struggle.”
• “You don't care—appropriately. Jesus says, whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me... Stay centered in me and my love for you and for them. Have another piece of pie.” —Rose ([21:30])
• “Why do I need all the rest of you idiots to like, approve of me... I'm a delight in his eyes.” ([22:47])

6. Bring Love ([24:36])

• Model Jesus’ instructions: “Cure the sick... cast out demons.” Practically, “Go in and put your arm around them... Show love to people. Listen to them. You don't have to comment or agree on everything.” —Rose ([24:36])
• Encourages warmth especially toward teens and young adults: “Don't make fun of them. Don't humiliate them. Listen to their ideas. Love them.” —Cy

7. Leave ([30:03])

• If it’s unproductive or hostile, give yourself permission to exit: “There are forms of leaving—a conversation, the room, the situation... There are forms of leaving something that is not productive and not loving.” —Rose ([30:15])
• Cy relates Jesus at Hanukkah: “Jesus just walks away. He just doesn’t let them set the agenda for him. ...He’s just not gonna get sucked into it. And when it gets to be too much, he just walks away.” ([31:05])
• Rose: “Thanksgiving is usually not the right time and place to get engaged in these important issues. And they are important, but not today.” ([32:17])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Lower your expectations. Especially in relationships.” —Rose ([06:53])
• “You don't have to defend the Catholic faith when somebody gets mad because you accidentally said, Happy Holidays.” —Rose ([15:43])
• “Not sharing your opinion is one of the greatest gifts you can give the world.” —Cy ([19:06])
• “Their response is not your responsibility... If the other person is offended, that's not your responsibility. ...You’ll be exhausted by the end of the day trying to make everybody happy.” —Rose ([51:51])

Listener Questions & Real-Life Scenarios

Mark in Iowa: On Walking Away ([35:29])

• Mark shares about defusing drama after his daughter was berated at a family gathering.
• Rose: “Being detached doesn’t mean we don’t care. It means we recognize it might not be the right time... I would move in, put my arm around the child and say, ‘We’ll talk about this when we get home. ...Let’s go get some pie.’”

Teresa in Des Moines: The “Unwelcome Guest” ([46:29])

• Teresa struggles with an uninvited sister who disrupts small gatherings.
• Rose’s advice: Preempt with a separate invitation (“I'd like to get together with you for lunch...”) and honestly explain that the holiday meal is just for immediate family.
• “Christianity doesn't mean that we tolerate obnoxious, abusive people... But there is a Christian way to deal with people like that. We don't just cancel them or cut them off.” ([48:13])

On “Overstaying Guests” ([49:47])

• Rose role-plays: “You have to leave now. I’m tired. I’m going to bed. Get up. ...Look how nice I was when I said that.”
• Cy: “Is it okay to tell people it’s time to go?”
  Rose: “Yes. Jesus told people where to go and what to do. ...You are kind, and you are clear, and you’re direct and you’re consistent.” ([51:00])

Additional Highlights & Light-Hearted Moments

• Running joke: Pumpkin pie as the near-highest form of giving thanks ([00:53], [21:30]).
• Happy Holidays vs. Merry Christmas:
  • “Holiday means holy day, so we’re not even wrong when we say Happy Holidays. ...But there is a little too much policing going on...” ([33:42])
• “The world is going to do what it does. Me being upset about it today is just not going to do anything.” —Cy ([22:47])
• “We’re so small... We make people's opinions so big... They’re just tiny, little... we’re all morons at this point.” —Cy ([23:31])

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:45] – Tip #1: Be Realistic
• [07:12] – Tip #2: Fear Not
• [10:09] – Tip #3: Be Wise (Set Boundaries)
• [18:01] – Tip #4: Keep Quiet
• [20:46] – Tip #5: Stay Detached
• [24:36] – Tip #6: Bring Love
• [30:03] – Tip #7: Leave
• [35:29] – Mark’s Call: Handling Conflict about a Child
• [46:29] – Teresa’s Call: The Uninvited Sister
• [49:47] – Overstaying Guests

Tone & Style

The episode is practical, humorous, and encouraging, using down-to-earth language and relatable family examples. Rose Sweet’s advice is direct yet compassionate, always circling back to Christ’s model as found in Scripture and real life.

Final Takeaway

If you're bracing for challenging family dynamics this holiday season, remember:

• Let go of perfection.
• Don’t try to fix everyone.
• Set wise boundaries.
• Give yourself permission to be quiet or step away.
• Love deeply but don’t neglect yourself.

In Rose’s words:
“Be like Jesus and you'll have a fabulous holiday.” ([33:17])