Introducing: Crimeless

Summary

Podcast Summary: Chameleon — Introducing: Crimeless

Host: Josh Dean
Co-Host: Rory Scovel
Date: May 27, 2026
Episode Theme: A Hilarious Dive into One of the World's Weirdest Scam Stories

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Episode Overview

This episode is a crossover introduction to the new podcast "Crimeless," co-hosted by journalist Josh Dean and comedian Rory Scovel. The main theme is the bizarre story of the United States of Kailasa—an entirely fictional nation invented by a fugitive cult leader—which managed to deceive Newark, NJ, and even the United Nations into (momentarily) recognizing its existence. Blending investigative journalism and sharp comedic commentary, the hosts explore just how easy it is for con artists to slip through bureaucratic cracks, highlighting the gullibility of officials and the wild creativity of “high-functioning ding dongs.”

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Setting up the Scam: How Did This Happen?

• [02:22] Josh Dean sets the stage: Instead of classic "change your identity" tricks, the podcast spotlights someone who "created a new nation with no extradition treaty" to evade the law.
• [03:30] Discussion of "sister city" relationships—typically ceremonial, but here, the city of Newark partners with the non-existent United States of Kailasa (USK).

Notable Quote:

• “The answer I was looking for was that you would create a new nation with no extradition treaty back to your home country.” —Josh Dean, [02:30]

2. Newark's Blunder: Recognizing a Fake Country

• [06:41] The “United States of Kailasa,” with envoys in sari and tattooed with the cult leader’s face, is welcomed as Newark’s sister city.
• [07:08] The partnership lasts just six days before an employee Googles Kailasa and discovers it doesn’t exist.
• [08:20] Newark, the largest city in New Jersey, failed a basic check, reinforcing the episode’s theme: even large bureaucracies can be embarrassingly negligent.

Notable Quote:

• “So the largest city in New Jersey agreed to a sister city agreement with a place that didn’t exist. No one checked.” —Josh Dean, [08:20]

3. The Man Behind Kailasa: Swami Nithyananda

• [09:22] Introduction to Swami Nithyananda—a self-proclaimed "Supreme Pontiff of Hinduism", on the run from sex assault and fraud charges in India and France.
• Claims of supernatural powers (healing, X-ray vision, making the sun rise late, cows speaking Sanskrit, disproving Einstein) are humorously dissected.
• The hosts riff on cult leader tropes and the gullibility of followers.

Notable Quotes:

• “He can heal the blind and make adults grow up to three inches taller.” —Josh Dean, [10:29]
• “Why even bring up the sunrise thing if you have X-ray vision?” —Rory Scovel, [11:35]

4. Cult Tactics—Fraud, Media, and International Reach

• [11:51] Nithyananda launches "inter-life reincarnation trust management"—offering to manage billionaires’ fortunes for their next life.
• [13:12] “Guru” credentials are suspicious, yet government officials, cities, and even state representatives unwittingly legitimize the scam.

Notable Quote:

• “Maybe it’s a recruitment tactic ... to raise his profile in the U.S.” —Josh Dean, [21:50]

5. Global Gullibility: Not Just Newark

• [19:43] 30 US cities and various global figures erroneously recognize Kailasa; US cities and officials are named and shamed.
• [22:46] Even Canadian and South American officials get fooled—sometimes sacked for their gullibility.

Notable Quotes:

• “In 2021, former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau signed a letter of support for Kailasa’s Hindu Heritage Month.” —Josh Dean, [22:42]

6. Kailasa at the United Nations

• [24:08] After the Newark debacle, Kailasa “envoys” show up at the UN in Geneva—complete with a cardboard cutout of the fugitive guru for photo ops.
• [26:05] They collect photos with unsuspecting diplomats, use these for fake legitimacy on their website.

7. The Dark Side—Sex Crimes and Exploitation

• [14:41] The story, beneath the absurdity, is sinister: Nithyananda faces rape, abduction, and fraud accusations and is on the run.
• [27:40] Kailasa "citizens" caught in Bolivia, trying to scam indigenous groups. They're deported to their real home countries—Kailasa, of course, isn't on a map.

8. Aftermath: Newark’s Self-Reflection and Lessons Learned

• [28:56] Newark realizes it hasn’t even paid its dues to Sister Cities International in 14 years, but is now “out of arrears and back in the good graces.”
• They announce two new, properly vetted, sister cities.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Who catfishes a city?” —Josh Dean, [08:40]
• “Is catfishing a city a crime? I want to say it’s not… it feels more like a high-level prank than a crime. Like high-level prank is just below low-level crime.” —Rory Scovel, [08:46]
• “If you act like you’re supposed to be there, you can kind of walk into any concert. This guy could see any band he wants on any day.” —Rory Scovel, [24:11]
• “The nerve of these motherfuckers. 1000-year leases with people who, like, wouldn’t even know if the point of these indigenous groups is probably not to be connected to the modern world.” —Josh Dean, [27:57]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• [02:22] — "Creating your own nation" criminal escape plan
• [06:41] — Kailasa "envoy" and the ceremonial signing in Newark
• [07:08] — The six-day sister city relationship and its abrupt end
• [09:22] — Introduction of Swami Nithyananda
• [10:29] — Listing of outlandish supernatural claims
• [14:41] — Serious allegations: sex tape, rape, and his legal maneuvers
• [19:43] — The scale of Kailasa’s global “recognition”
• [24:08] — Kailasa sends a cardboard cutout to the UN in Geneva
• [27:40] — Arrest of “Kailasians” in Bolivia for attempted land scams
• [28:56] — Newark’s post-scam self-audit

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Tone & Style

The episode is a blend of incredulity, wit, and a dash of despair at the gullibility of officials. The hosts’ tone is light and often bitingly satirical, especially when detailing bureaucratic errors, cult absurdities, or the more ridiculous media stunts of Kailasa. When the narrative turns to the darker allegations against Nithyananda, there is a marked, appropriate seriousness.

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Final Segment: Pop Culture Game — "Dogman"

After the main story, the hosts and producer Lane play an irreverent quiz/game riffing on "Dogman" (a children’s animated movie)—employing their banter and playful competitiveness, serving as comic relief and bookending the episode on a lighter note.

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Key Takeaways

• Even major government institutions—given just the right (or wrong) paperwork and a "representative" in a sari—can get scammed by a basic Internet hoax.
• Cult leaders borrow from the same playbook: outlandish superpowers, extravagant claims, and international exploits to dodge accountability.
• The Internet age hasn’t made people harder to fool—just given scammers a bigger stage.
• Underneath the laughter, the real danger of these scams isn’t always obvious—but for those directly affected, it’s no joke.

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To hear more comically tragic tales of criminal incompetence, search for "Crimeless" on your podcast app of choice!

Transcript

[Josh Dean]

Hey there, Chameleon listeners.

[Josh Dean (Intro Host)]

It's your host and fellow scam obsessive, Josh Dean. I interrupt your regularly scheduled feed here to tell you about another weekly podcast I host, one that brings me a lot of joy, which is not a thing you typically hear about crime shows. It's called Crimeless, made in conjunction with Smartless Media and Will Ferrell's Big Money Players. And every week I tell you and my co host, the. The very funny comedian Rory Scovel, a story or two or three ripped from the headlines. Think of it as an introduction to the world's dumbest criminals, men and women, and occasionally even some marauding monkeys who step on rakes in the most entertaining ways. But don't take my word for it. Check out this sample episode, which happens to be about a scam that someone pulled on the city of Newark and also on the UN and then, if you like it, just search Crimeless on your podcast app of choice. Anyway, enjoy, and I'll see you Thursday for the next episode of Chameleon.

[Rory Scovel]

So what we're gonna do is you're gonna look at these magazines, et cetera, and if you become aroused, et cetera, then we'll know, et cetera, that, et cetera, you're guilty, et cetera.

[Brandi Churchwell]

Campsite, media.

[Rory Scovel]

Smart.

[Josh Dean]

Rory, let's say you're a fugitive from the law, okay?

[Rory Scovel]

And I'm not. Just to be clear for our audience, I'm not. This is all just hypothetical.

[Josh Dean]

Wink, wink. Rory, you're a. You're a fugitive wanted by the law,

[Rory Scovel]

and I look like Harrison Ford.

[Josh Dean]

How are you getting away with it? How are you evading capture? What's your plan?

[Rory Scovel]

I'm literally doing everything Harrison Ford did. But, you know, the first thing I'm doing is shaving, getting a haircut, the obvious stuff, new clothes. I don't know the circumstances of my escape, but I'm definitely changing my exterior identity.

[Josh Dean]

But just haircut and beard, that's it.

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, I don't. What? I don't know. What else can you do? Can I just go get, like, an earring? Do you think that has enough of an effect?

[Josh Dean]

Like a really big dangly? Like a cross?

[Rory Scovel]

I'd probably go get a face tattoo. Okay, there.

[Josh Dean]

All right, good, good. I like this plan. Okay, but even despite that amazing plan that you just came up with, you're thinking too small.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, no.

[Josh Dean]

Okay. Because my master plan to turn you into a genius level criminal is clearly not working yet. Work in progress.

[Rory Scovel]

I'm inching.

[Josh Dean]

The answer I was looking for was that you would create a new nation with no extradition treaty back to your home country.

[Rory Scovel]

That seems like a lot of work.

[Josh Dean]

Wow. This week on Crimeless, we venture forth in search of nations that do not exist, that have been created in order to allow people to get away with crimes.

[Rory Scovel]

Nice.

[Josh Dean]

Welcome back to Crimeless, the podcast that celebrates the amazing creativity of the world's dumbest criminals. I'm Josh Dean.

[Rory Scovel]

And I am Rory Scoville.

[Josh Dean]

I see our work here on Criminalists as a kind of master study of high functioning ding dongs. I think over time we will come to understand our dimmest bulbs a little better by starting to see patterns in their work.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

So we're in the process of becoming idiot profilers, Rory. Right.

[Rory Scovel]

And what two better men to do it.

[Josh Dean]

But I think we can agree that the criminals start to fall into, like, specific buckets. I think we're starting to have a few types this week which relates to another one we've done recently. I would put in the category of gullible government officials.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay. Yep. Yeah, yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So to kick off this week, we found an incredible low quality video of this unprecedented moment in the history of Newark, New Jersey.

[Rory Scovel]

And what is this?

[Josh Dean]

So I'm going to explain to you basically what. What you're seeing there. Would you say it was like. It was like a gathering of officials in a room where some kind of ceremony was happening, right?

[Rory Scovel]

Yes.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, so what's happening there? This is January 2023. January being the month when Newark is absolutely splendid. Yeah. Gotta get there in January.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

About a dozen people have filed into city hall for a ceremony to celebrate Newark's newest sister city. And as I'm sure you know, sister cities, sometimes known as twin cities, are a partnership between two locations, countries or continents. Not always a city. So it's mostly a ceremonial thing, obviously, but these kinds of relationships can encourage trade and tourism between cities. And on this day in January 2023, Newark Mayor Ross Baraka welcomed representatives from the United States of Kailasa, or usk, a Hindu nation off the coast of Ecuador. To begin and perhaps break the awkward silence in the room, someone puts on a slideshow about Kailasa's history and culture. I think that's what we were watching at the top because they zoomed on a screen and there was some Hindu imagery. There was some music. An uplifting royalty free track plays underneath.

[Rory Scovel]

Great description, Royalty free track.

[Josh Dean]

The representatives from Newark, including the mayor, appear to be scrolling on their phones while it runs. So they. Not super engaged. Not probably not the most Important meeting of the day that the mayor.

[Rory Scovel]

Well, there's only a dozen people there, so clearly it's not the hottest ticket in town.

[Josh Dean]

So some council people from Newark share a few words on the importance of the partnership and what it means to stand united as sister cities. And the mayor says, quote, I pray that our relationship helps us to understand cultural, social, and political development and improves the lives of everybody in both places. Then a representative from the United States of Kailasa speaks. Man, this is going to be a real test of my pronunciation, so apologies to these people.

[Rory Scovel]

Very excited to hear my doing my best.

[Josh Dean]

So the representative from Kailasa, her name is Vijay Priya. Yeah. Nya Nanda Ngananda. I think I did pretty well there.

[Rory Scovel]

I think that was. Yeah, I think that's probably right.

[Josh Dean]

Lane helped. I got some pronunciation cues. She's dressed in an orange and yellow sari, and she has a large tattoo of the founder of USK on her bicep.

[Rory Scovel]

Huh.

[Josh Dean]

Should we get matching tattoos?

[Rory Scovel]

I have wanted to do. I've pitched it several times. Don't on air suddenly want to do it. Okay.

[Josh Dean]

I mean, I've got Eric Adams on my right bicep, so. Mayor of my city.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. Favorite mayors get you on the left.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Yeah.

[Rory Scovel]

Good.

[Josh Dean]

Anyway, Mayor Baraka, the 40th mayor in Newark history and son of the legendary poet and activist Amiri Baraka. So, you know, royalty in the African American community signs the official sister city agreement. Then hands are shaken, and representatives from Kailasa pose for photos with their new friends. Siblings, I guess you could say, from New Jersey.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

And the United States of Kailasa and Newark, New Jersey, are officially sister cities for six days.

[Rory Scovel]

Honestly, so much longer than I expected.

[Josh Dean]

Until some crackerjack employee at the mayor's office, I guess. Open Google, Guess what he learned when

[Rory Scovel]

he typed in, is this a real place?

[Josh Dean]

It's not a real place. When did you realize that, Rory?

[Rory Scovel]

I think when it was called the United States, I go. You just don't get that a lot

[Josh Dean]

in other places, especially on an island off the coast of Ecuador. How many states can there be on an island?

[Rory Scovel]

How many, how small are they? Everyone's house is a state, apparently.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah, okay, so it's not a real country. It's not recognized by the UN or anyone in the international community. There is no island off the coast of Ecuador. Well, actually, there are a bunch of islands off the coast of Ecuador. The Galapagos, for instance, are off the coast of Ecuador, but Kailasa is not one of them. Yeah, and because there are no. There's no country of Kailasa. There's no cities in Kailasa. Which is one of the many details the city of Newark somehow missed in its due diligence. Yeah, I think it's important to point out that Newark is, like, not a backwater. It's a pretty big city. Like, probably the largest city in New Jersey. I don't know that as a fact, Lane.

[Rory Scovel]

Fact check.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Yes, it's the largest city.

[Josh Dean]

So the largest city in New Jersey agreed to a sister city agreement with a place that didn't exist. No one checked. So anyway, the mayor cancels the agreement on January 18th. City hall assures the people of Newark this will never happen again. Not on his watch. And after this sister city scam hit the news, a lot of people had very good questions to ask, like, who catfishes a city?

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

And then this one, which very relevant for our conversation. Is this even a crime?

[Rory Scovel]

Is catfishing a city a crime? I want to say it's not. It is, I'm sure, but I want to say it's not because, like, to get away with it. Then you know what? Good for you. It honestly, it feels more like a high level prank than a crime. Like high level prank is just below low level crime. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Like there's some gray area at the border there.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, exactly. Yes.

[Josh Dean]

But actually, I think technically, since no money or goods were exchanged, nothing actually illegal took place. But we are tiptoeing into fraud territory, right?

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Especially when I tell you about the guy behind this fake country.

[Rory Scovel]

If that was the guy in the video, then I am all ears.

[Josh Dean]

So his name is Swami Nithyananda. His official title is Supreme Pontiff of Hinduism, which I'm going to assume is not a real title.

[Rory Scovel]

Right.

[Josh Dean]

And Kailasa is his brainchild.

[Rory Scovel]

Yes.

[Josh Dean]

So Nithyananda was born in 1978 in India. His birth name is Arunachalam Rajasekaran. Rajasekaran. The good swami claims he was gifted spiritually at a very early age and first noticed by a guru when he was 3. And it's worth noting, I think, that our key source here is the swami.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

So he claims he was noticed by a guru at three.

[Rory Scovel]

We could all claim guru attention at a young age. Who's going to look into that?

[Josh Dean]

Nithyananda claims he experienced full enlightenment at 22. And he has since amassed a following. Oh, my God. Of over a million people, which also is not a figure anyone has audited. So I think he claims a million followers.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. Yeah. What's his social media look like? That's the only way to truly know it's all bots.

[Josh Dean]

He also considers himself a God man who possesses some supernatural abilities that I'm going to walk you through now. He can heal the blind and make. Jesus, I love this one. He can heal the blind and make adults grow up to three inches taller.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay. Very specific, very weird superpower. I love that. He's like, look, I can't do four. I can't do four. Read the small print. I can't do four.

[Josh Dean]

He also has X ray vision.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

He can delay the sunrise for up to 40 minutes. What.

[Rory Scovel]

What weird Marvel adjacent comic book did this dude grow up with?

[Josh Dean]

He can make cattle speak in Tamil and Sanskrit, and he claims he can disprove Einstein's E equals MC squared.

[Rory Scovel]

Wow. Wow. He's like, let me. Here's all these little things I can do, but then let me go for the jugular.

[Josh Dean]

I love. It's an amazing collection of superpowers.

[Rory Scovel]

It's so weird. Like, why even bring up the sunrise thing if you have X ray vision? Why even bring that up?

[Josh Dean]

Also, why 40 minutes, 30 minutes, an hour.

[Rory Scovel]

Just bring up X ray vision and no one has any other questions about anything else.

[Josh Dean]

That's true. So during one conversation in front of an audience, it looks like some kind of live podcast. He endorsed the idea of the world's first interlife reincarnation trust management. And here's how that works. Rich people like Bill Gates or Warren Buffett could invest a few billion dollars in a trust, and he would make sure that money is earmarked for their reincarnation.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay, I'm in.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

I have a video.

[Rory Scovel]

So this would be the world's first inter life reincarnation trust management. Okay, I think if we do a little more research and establish the authority. We can do that.

[Josh Dean]

I.

[Rory Scovel]

Look, I'm sold. It doesn't sound like a scam because why would that many people have clapped? Why would that. Why would that amount have clapped if it was wrong?

[Josh Dean]

It's. It's a fair point. I was gonna say. I. It wasn't, like, the most rousing. I mean, there was a lot of clapping. It wasn't like a roar.

[Rory Scovel]

So you said that was a podcast there. Look, I know everyone can't see it, but their setup is way better than ours.

[Josh Dean]

I believe one of them.

[Rory Scovel]

These two guys were on thrones. They were on thrones.

[Josh Dean]

We're just. We're just starting up. Rory.

[Rory Scovel]

We'll get there. We'll get there. We haven't we haven't started our own bank yet. So as soon as we start our own trust and our own bank, then we're going to be. You're going to see a lot of gold on this show, folks.

[Josh Dean]

They did have amazing bling and they were sitting on Gold Throne. So, yes, agree. For the record, we are not sitting on gold Throne. So you ready to join? You ready to sign up and be a follower?

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, I just. I. In all seriousness, I don't know how people fall for this. I don't know how. Because it isn't that difficult to spot such an obvious scam. But yet, even proving that he has a million followers or doesn't, I wouldn't be surprised if he does.

[Josh Dean]

He has X ray vision. How could I not follow him? He's.

[Rory Scovel]

Honestly, I gotta follow him. He can see right through me. Literally. He literally. How did I get taller? How come I can dunk now? If he's a. If he's a scam artist?

[Josh Dean]

Meanwhile, they're like, prove that you can delay the sunrise. He's like, all right, what month are we in? We're in October. Okay, I'll do it on November 25th.

[Rory Scovel]

Why always that day?

[Josh Dean]

The sun will rise 40 minutes later on that day. Yeah. So I guess it's not a crime to consider yourself a God man. But gaining a following, the fame, the fortune, the power, you can imagine a lot of that stuff starts to bend your moral compass just a little bit.

[Rory Scovel]

Sure.

[Josh Dean]

And in 2010, a sex tape was leaked.

[Rory Scovel]

The curveball no one expected,

[Josh Dean]

featuring the guru and a pretty famous actress from India.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, my gosh. I will say I am happy to know that considering yourself a God man is not a crime, because I would be in prison for life.

[Josh Dean]

So the guru denies any sex was happening, arguing that in the video, he was practicing the yoga pose in which you lie face up on the floor.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

And because he's impotent, so it'd be impossible for him to have sex.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, well, you know what? I've always appreciated his vulnerability.

[Josh Dean]

It's true.

[Rory Scovel]

His very public vulnerability.

[Josh Dean]

I love that he was just lying in a yoga pose. I'm assuming she was on top of him. So he's like, I don't know what she was doing. I was just doing yoga.

[Rory Scovel]

I. Look, I'm impotent. Everyone's like. And that's not one of the superpowers. You can't. You can't change that.

[Josh Dean]

Nope.

[Rory Scovel]

Nope.

[Josh Dean]

He also claims the video was doctored footage, which feels like a weird denial because I You know, a dude who claims to have X ray vision and the ability to delay the sunrise, but he's embarrassed to have slept with some hot actress. Yeah. Like why? What's the denial there? Alas, that same year, a female disciple accused him of rape.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay, so there we go.

[Josh Dean]

So he's briefly arrested before making bail.

[Rory Scovel]

How come all these cult leaders have the exact same bio?

[Josh Dean]

It's really true. It's so true. What would he have said? Why he couldn't possibly have raped her?

[Rory Scovel]

Is it the impotent? Because he's impotent. That's what he said. Yep.

[Josh Dean]

That's right.

[Rory Scovel]

Man, this is. Maybe he's really thought this through.

[Josh Dean]

So in 2012, the Supreme Court in India ordered a medical test to be conducted. A potency test to prove whether he was telling the truth or not.

[Rory Scovel]

I was going to say, how do you. How do you prove this?

[Josh Dean]

I also wanted Awkward test for a government court to perform. Like, what?

[Rory Scovel]

What they do just show him some dirty magazines. They're like, is that doing anything? Is that helping? He's like, nope. He's like so focused.

[Josh Dean]

Nope. So our guy, Swami Nithyanda, is a slippery God, man. And he managed to put off the medical test until 2014. When the results came back that he was indeed capable of rising to the occasion, we should say.

[Rory Scovel]

Interesting. Yes.

[Josh Dean]

So then he changed his story. What do you think he said then? It wasn't raped.

[Rory Scovel]

He said, he has such a magical power. He changed it.

[Josh Dean]

No, he said it wasn't rape. It was consensual.

[Rory Scovel]

Can you imagine backpedaling out of that one very specific detail?

[Josh Dean]

Oh, no, no, no, no. Did I say impotent? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no,

[Rory Scovel]

no, no, no, no. It was consensual. I. You must have heard impotent.

[Josh Dean]

Anyway, in 2018, he's charged with sexual assault, rape, cheating and criminal abatement, disappearance of evidence, giving false information, and criminal conspiracy. This time, the court issues a non bailable warrant for his arrest. But before they can cuff him, the guru fled. Yeah, and that's not it. A separate police complaint was filed in 2019 accusing him of kidnapping and. Oh, God.

[Josh Dean (Intro Host)]

Confining children at his ashram.

[Rory Scovel]

So this guy tried to. This guy, being the worst person, tried to get to the USK as fast as he possibly could.

[Josh Dean]

He's like, yeah, okay, I'm out of lies. I'm like, not even. I'm an unrepentant scumbag now. Like, yeah, kidnapping kids, raping people, and yet still has a million followers somehow.

[Rory Scovel]

And they're like, look, it's the sunrise thing. I can't look past that.

[Josh Dean]

And of course, he also racked up a few fraud charges along the way. In France, a former devotee claimed he was deceived by the guru, who now owes him US$400,000. One particular devotee. And then since 2019, when those charges were filed, he's now been on the run from two jurisdictions, India and France. Yep, totally. See how Newark misses all this?

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. And honestly, that employee that found it, I guarantee you, was just an intern and just googled. What's this? Where is that?

[Josh Dean]

I've never heard of it.

[Rory Scovel]

Where is that? They googled it.

[Josh Dean]

And then at first was just like, oh, it's made up. This is funny. And then they're like, why was it made up?

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, well, then they. Hold on, let me google his name. They're like, whoa,

[Josh Dean]

you get to tell the mayor, not me.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

So he flees his home country and founds the United States of Kailasa, named after a mountain in the Himalayas, that it's considered home to the Hindu God Shiva. That's when he claims to have bought that island off the coast of Ecuador. And since founding this fake country on an island that does not exist just over six years ago, the guru has been doing a lot of press for his newly foundation. Which brings us back to Newark, New Jersey.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

According to some reports, 30 US cities have officially recognized Kailasa as a nation.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Dean]

Either in sisters city agreements, official documents of recognition, or in some cases, declaring an official Kailasa day.

[Rory Scovel]

What?

[Josh Dean]

If you go to Kailasa's website, they have a whole tab of all the cities and towns that recognize them, including but not limited to Texarkana, Texas, Buena Park, California, Canton, Ohio, Hollandale Beach, Florida, Asheville, North Carolina. I assumed they'd mostly be in Florida. I'm very bummed about Asheville.

[Rory Scovel]

Asheville is a bummer because I didn't know a lot of these cities were only had only child syndrome and were just. They'll do anything for a. For a sister or a brother.

[Josh Dean]

It's not just cities either, Rory. State governments can't resist handing out pointless awards either. According to Kailas website, admittedly not the most reliable source, the governor of Ohio handed out a proclamation of recognition. And Norma Torres, a congresswoman from California, also signed a certificate of special congressional recognition. What the hell is happening in America?

[Rory Scovel]

This is all happening at a time when Google could not be more accessible.

[Josh Dean]

So a spokeswoman for that congresswoman, by the way, in an Interview with the New York Post said the certificate was given to a local congregation by a former staffer. Upon learning of the very serious, incredible allegations against their leader, our office promptly recalled the certificate. Yeah, throw the staffer under the bus.

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, I guess it's just a certificate, right?

[Josh Dean]

I guess. But still. Another spokesperson told the Post that they only found out about Nithyananda's concerning past quote after what happened in Newark.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, my God. So what's the point of this, do you think? What is the Guru crew trying to do here by going out? Because it feels like, on one level, like, maybe it's a bad idea to be bringing attention to himself.

[Rory Scovel]

Well, mine was the extradition that he. If he's there, he can't be charged or arrested.

[Josh Dean]

But there is no there.

[Rory Scovel]

I know, but he. But. But, you know, we're not going to look into that.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, he's outside the bounds. We can't get him.

[Rory Scovel]

Interpol doesn't get him. He's in the invisible base. Is that what he was hoping for? Was that his goal?

[Josh Dean]

I mean, we can't know exactly because he's on the run, but it's probably an attempt to legitimize Kailasa so that he has a country that allows his outl outlandish lies and brazen lawbreaking, you know, fake it till you make it. And maybe sometime, like, maybe there is some place where he can, like, get a country to give him, like, I don't know, a few acres. And, yeah, through some weird loophole in international law, he can declare himself a sovereign nation. Yeah, the other. The other theory is that it's a recruitment tactic. And according to a cult deprogrammer who spoke to the York Post, they suspect that the swami was also looking to raise his profile in the US and that this may have been part of that. So, an investigation by India Today found that the Guru has been establishing charities and corporations all over the world to run his operations. There are at least 10 registered Kailasa organizations in the US alone.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Dean]

But we're not the only suckers out there, Rory.

[Rory Scovel]

Thank God. That's what I was going to ask.

[Josh Dean]

In 2021, former Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

[Rory Scovel]

Good.

[Josh Dean]

Signed a letter of support for Kailasa's Hindu Heritage Month. Yes, and Paraguay's chief of staff for the Agricultural Ministry was quickly replaced after he admitted signing an official proclamation recognizing USK in 2023.

[Rory Scovel]

Good. I like that there was some punishment there. Dude, you're out.

[Josh Dean]

You can't even Google So do you think this is the end of our story?

[Rory Scovel]

I just. That question alone makes me say no.

[Josh Dean]

Where do you think the US keg is going next? I'm gonna tell you after the break. This is crimeless. I love this story so much. I mean, I don't love the things that he did. Let's putting aside that he is a fucking terrible human being.

[Rory Scovel]

Horrible monster.

[Josh Dean]

But the rest of the stuff is. It's most charming is the, like that Parks and Rec was a documentary basically. Right. Like government officials.

[Rory Scovel]

That's actually a great description. It's literally as though they work in all of these offices to sign off on this stupid shit. Everybody.

[Josh Dean]

Is the park basically the Parks and Rec?

[Rory Scovel]

Yes, exactly.

[Josh Dean]

Okay, so in February 2023, one month after marrying, then divorcing, Newark, New Jersey, representatives from the United States of Kel Plaza packed their bags for Geneva, Switzerland.

[Rory Scovel]

Here we go.

[Josh Dean]

They're going to visit an office of the United Nations.

[Rory Scovel]

This is like when people say, like, if you act like you're supposed to be there, you can kind of walk into any concert. And you and I, we don't have the confidence to do that.

[Josh Dean]

We do not.

[Rory Scovel]

This guy. This guy could see any band he wants on any day, but.

[Josh Dean]

Except, of course, the God man can't go himself, so he's got to send envoys on account of the whole rape and abduction charges. We don't totally know where God man is hanging out. So he's sending his people to the un. He sent his main lady via the same woman we saw in Newark. So she's like the envoy and a few other followers. And they brought a cardboard cutout of the swami. Yeah. To the meetings.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

That's.

[Rory Scovel]

I mean, that's not a bad move. That's good for photos.

[Josh Dean]

It's more Parks and Rec every like you can imagine. Like, I love the scene of them at a table.

[Rory Scovel]

In fact, even a writer's room for Parks and Rec is like, nah, we want to keep it a little grounded.

[Josh Dean]

So it's like UN people, lots of people. Cardboard cutout.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

Which by the way, doesn't fit in a bag. How do you get that on a plane?

[Rory Scovel]

I was about to say, do you have to buy a seat?

[Josh Dean]

So Vijay Priya speaks at two UN committee meetings. One on how women are represented in decision making systems. Like, so this is like some legit stuff. And another on sustainable development. So they're really in on, like, we're gonna. We're a nation of like. And these are important stuff. Subjects that we take seriously in Kailasa. According to UN spokesperson, her contributions made at the meetings weren't relevant and would be scrapped from consideration. Which makes you wonder why they agreed to the meetings in the first place.

[Rory Scovel]

Exactly. I knew this would be a waste of time. That's why I agreed to do it. Oh, well,

[Josh Dean]

I mean, I think we could make a case that most meetings are pointless at all times.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. But this one. Yeah, this one in particular.

[Josh Dean]

Maybe I should have known when they showed up with the cardboard cutout.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah. That these were goofy clowns coming to town.

[Josh Dean]

But it actually appears they were there really for another reason. Photo ops. Yes. The Kailasa representatives posed with ambassadors and staff from Egypt, United Arab Emirates, Bangladesh, Lebanon, Lithuania and more. It's unclear if the staffers knew exactly who they were talking to. And a few of them didn't even seem to realize they were in pictures or that these photos would soon appear on a fake country's website as evidence that it wasn't bullshit.

[Rory Scovel]

Not a bad move. That's pretty smart move on their part.

[Josh Dean]

It is. You're like, I mean, how can we be fake? Here's me and the ambassador of Lithuania, right? Yeah.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

A spokeswoman spokesperson for Lithuania's mission to the UN confirmed that someone from the Baltic republic did quote, listen to their concerns, but since the meeting did not take place with the official representative of Lithuania, it does not represent any national position on Kailasa.

[Rory Scovel]

Smart.

[Josh Dean]

Love the like hair splitting and like excuse making that happens afterwards.

[Rory Scovel]

I know that's a good backpedal. You know, they could have saved money and just printed cardboard cutouts of the other people and never flown anywhere.

[Josh Dean]

One of my takeaways is that diplomacy is fucking weird. Like, like how much like what is happening on a daily basis at the Geneva. Geneva office of the un Just like time for this.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

I mean this is really very fun to talk about some jokesters tricking government officials into legitimizing their fake island. But I think we need to remember that underneath it all, this is a religious culture. And recently Kailasa tried to make some big and to me scary moves. In fact, in April 2025, Bolivian officials arrested 20 people from Kailasa. I love that we're still saying from Kailasa

[Rory Scovel]

even we are getting roped into like just completely giving it some sort of justification for a real place.

[Josh Dean]

So these people arrested and accused of land trafficking, they were attempting to negotiate 1000 year leases with indigenous groups in the Amazon.

[Rory Scovel]

Yep.

[Josh Dean]

The nerve of these motherfuckers.

[Rory Scovel]

1000 year leases with people who like,

[Josh Dean]

legitimately wouldn't know if, like, if the point of these indigenous groups is probably not to be connected to the modern world. So, like, talk about people that you could take advantage of. Like, well, yeah, we're from Kailasa. So the Kailasians were deported from Bolivia but not back to Kailasa Because I should remind you that place does not fudgeing exist.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, they were on the plane. I don't even know where to go. What's the airport code again? K A, I.

[Josh Dean]

They're sent back to their actual home countries of India, the United States, Sweden and China. And where is our guru Nithyananda? He's still on the run, perhaps coming to take over and rebrand a remote island near you.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah.

[Josh Dean]

And as for Mayor Ross Baraka's Newark, after the whole sister city scam, his staff did a sort of internal audit and they learned that they shouldn't really be throwing stones because Newark hadn't paid its dues to Sister Cities International, the group that oversees the whole universe for 14 years.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh.

[Josh Dean]

Now I'm thrilled to report that Newark is out of arrears and back in the good graces of Sister Cities International. And not only that, they've joined hands with two new sister cities.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh.

[Josh Dean]

Morant Bay, Jamaica, and Chunche, Ecuador.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay.

[Josh Dean]

Which I'm going to assume they googled beforehand.

[Rory Scovel]

I'm going to assume those are real just because they involve real words that describe real places.

[Josh Dean]

And that is the story of Kailasa, man.

[Rory Scovel]

A lot to take away there. Coming up with a country and establishing it. Not as hard as you would think.

[Josh Dean]

I think for a future episode, we should see if we can get a meeting at the UN office in Geneva though. Yes, let's send an email. All right, it's time for our final segment.

[Rory Scovel]

Lane, game.

[Josh Dean]

This week, it's a crimeless manhunt. We're gonna choose our teams and go in search of the swami.

[Rory Scovel]

Yes.

[Josh Dean]

Whoever finds him first gets $50 in teemu points. And to be the official crimeless ambassador to Kailasa.

[Rory Scovel]

I love a Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego style? I'm kidding, Lane. Game.

[Josh Dean]

Kidding. There'll be no manhunt this week. I think that's illegal. Lane, what are we doing?

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

So today we learned about Nithyanda, a self proclaimed God man, a spiritual healer with a cult like following. And today I want to ask you About Dogman, the 2025 animated film from Dreamworks.

[Josh Dean]

Yeah. Oh, just like a slight mix up of the letters.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Did you guys see this movie or Hear about it?

[Rory Scovel]

Nope. I know of it.

[Josh Dean]

One of my kids loves Dogman, which does not mean that I've paid any attention to the books while reading them at night. Disassociating from the words.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Okay, so you have an upper hand.

[Josh Dean]

So not Godman. Dogman.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Dogman, the 2025 animated film.

[Rory Scovel]

Okay, yep.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

So Dogman stars a hero, you guessed it. Who is half dog, half man. How was Dogman born?

[Josh Dean]

Oh, God.

[Rory Scovel]

I don't want to say bestiality.

[Josh Dean]

That's why we're in C17.

[Rory Scovel]

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know much about Dogman.

[Josh Dean]

Either the dog or the person died. I think there was a surgery involved. I feel like this is a Frankenstein situation. Am I right?

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Yeah, you're right. There's a surgery involved.

[Rory Scovel]

Yes.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

The villainous orange cat, Petey, plants a bomb, and then the famed cop, officer Knight and his dog Greg diffuse the bomb, but the wire explodes and they both get very injured. So two females. I don't know why they specify female surgeons. It feels a little sexist. But two surgeons save the officer and the dog, but they stitch them together to create Dogman.

[Rory Scovel]

Dog man.

[Josh Dean]

Sounds right. Okay, one for me.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

All right.

[Rory Scovel]

This does sound like children's cartoon. Okay, got it.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Yeah. So the first act of the film parallels the plot of this 1987 movie starring Peter Weller, in which the title character must come to terms with his new identity while mourning his past.

[Josh Dean]

Rory, do you know?

[Rory Scovel]

No, I don't.

[Josh Dean]

I do. I know. I got this one. It's RoboCop.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

It is RoboCop.

[Rory Scovel]

Is it RoboCop? You guys didn't give me a chance. I didn't actually get a chance.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Okay, question three. Dogman's arch nemesis is Petey, an orange tabby, self proclaimed the world's most evilest cat. Who voices Petey in the film?

[Josh Dean]

Let's say Seth Rogen.

[Rory Scovel]

I'm gonna go. Tom Selleck.

[Josh Dean]

Very timely guest by Rogan.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Very timely. Nope, sorry, it was Pete Davidson.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, Petey the cat should have been Tom Selleck.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

In the film, Petey steals the body of an evil fish named Flippy, voiced by Ricky Gervais. What special power does Flippy possess?

[Rory Scovel]

He can make the sun come. Okay, probably not that. It's probably not that.

[Josh Dean]

A superpower. I'm gonna go. He can fly.

[Rory Scovel]

I was gonna say he can fly. Teleport. Just so we have different answers.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Rory was closer. It's telekinesis.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, you get a half point.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Half point.

[Rory Scovel]

I get a half point. For tele.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Yeah.

[Rory Scovel]

Had you said telephone, we'd be tied.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Dogman is based on author Dave Pilke's children's graphic novel of the same name. It is a spinoff in a story within a story of his most famous series. What is that series?

[Josh Dean]

I know this one, too. This is not fair because I, unlike Rory, would be kicking my ass in the Bluey. The Bluey quiz. I have an unfair advantage here, because this is Captain Underpants.

[Rory Scovel]

Yeah, okay. All right. I was gonna say Captain Underpants, but I was like, you know what? I'm racking up too many points here.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

I gotta pull back this next one Rory might get because it's more of a film industry question. Okay, right now, Dogman is ranked fifth in the top grossing films domestically from 2025. Name the top four from this year.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, my God.

[Josh Dean]

We should say this is being recorded in May, early May. So this will be. Yeah, the first. Almost first half of the year of 2025.

[Rory Scovel]

God, I don't follow anything. I don't know.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

I'm really depressing.

[Josh Dean]

That was so sad. That was very sad, the way you

[Rory Scovel]

said that, because I feel like I should know it. Something. I don't go to the movies. Something just came out that is like.

[Josh Dean]

People are very excited about. It's true. People.

[Rory Scovel]

People are very excited about. And I'm blanking.

[Josh Dean]

Two things have recently come out that people are very excited about. One of those things is for kids, which is the number one answer you.

[Rory Scovel]

A big kids movie.

[Josh Dean]

Minecraft is number one.

[Rory Scovel]

Minecraft. That's what I was thinking.

[Josh Dean]

Jack Black, Sin. Well, do I have to get him in order? Sinners is definitely somewhere there.

[Rory Scovel]

Sinners.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Sinners is Minecraft is first. Sinners is number three.

[Josh Dean]

There was a Captain America movie that's number two. Look at that.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, my God.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Captain America. Brave New World. And then number four might be tough because I was surprised about this one.

[Rory Scovel]

My Dinner with Andre Redux.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

No, no.

[Josh Dean]

You're between Tom Selleck and that. They're like, this guy is a Hollywood insider.

[Rory Scovel]

I just love someone putting the money up. I think it's time we bring back My Dinner with Andre. These remakes. These remakes are working.

[Josh Dean]

Can I even name one more movie that's come out in 20? I may have named the only movies that I can name. Probably 20.

[Rory Scovel]

20. I can't all.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

I'll give you a hint. It's a Disney movie that they kind of. They're going back to the well.

[Josh Dean]

Oh, it was the one that flopped. Oh, not Sleeping Beauty?

[Rory Scovel]

No, Moana, too?

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

No, but that's a good answer. It's Mufasa the Lion King.

[Rory Scovel]

Mufasa.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Snow White was number six. Moana was number. Moana II was number eight.

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, okay.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

The dog part of Dogman is what breed of dog?

[Rory Scovel]

Oh, I don't know this.

[Josh Dean]

Just guess a breed, Rory.

[Rory Scovel]

Cocker spaniel. There's no way that's right.

[Josh Dean]

I'm saying. Is it a beagle?

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

Guys are both wrong. It's a golden retriever.

[Rory Scovel]

Come on.

[Josh Dean]

That is the most. If we were ranking the most human like breeds, golden retriever would be number one.

[Rory Scovel]

But golden retriever should have been the. I can't believe I didn't guess that.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

And that's. That's. Dogman. Godman.

[Josh Dean]

Dogman.

[Rory Scovel]

Godman.

[Josh Dean]

We can tally the scores, but I'm.

[Lane (Producer or Guest)]

You won.

[Rory Scovel]

Pretty sure you won.

[Josh Dean]

It was unfair. And that's a wrap.

[Josh Dean (Intro Host)]

Thanks for listening to this special preview of Crimeless. If you enjoyed yourself, I hope you'll do me a solid and follow us on your favorite podcast app. Just search Crimeless and smash that plus button.

[Brandi Churchwell]

In the world of true crime, the real story isn't always in the headlines. It's in the evidence. I'm Brandi churchwell, host of 13Zero podcast, and I'm here to take you past the news cycle and straight into the courtroom. Every week, I'll break down the investigation, the prosecution, the defense, and everything that unfolds beyond the jury jury box. We'll examine every testimony, every exhibit, and every hidden motive. Listen to 13th Juror, wherever you get your podcasts.