Change Church Podcast with Pastor Dharius Daniels

Episode: "Poison" (November 3, 2025)

Overview

In this episode titled "Poison," Pastor Dharius Daniels unpacks the subtle yet deadly impact of spiritual narcissism and spiritual abuse within Christian communities. Drawing from Luke 18 and personal experiences, Daniels challenges listeners to examine not only their actions but their postures and motivations—especially in prayer—to identify and detox from harmful spiritual environments. The message is equal parts exposé and encouragement, aiming to heal those wounded by toxic religion without condemning foundational faith.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Challenge of Addressing Spiritual "Poison"

• Daniels explains the difficulty of addressing sensitive topics without alienating or condemning those whose spiritual foundations may be rooted in problematic teaching.
• Quote:

  "I want to challenge you without condemning you, and I want to expose some things we may need to move away from without insulting the foundation that got us all started in the faith." (00:01)

2. Cultural Reference: Bell Biv DeVoe and the Lesson of "Poison"

• Pastor connects the 1990 song "Poison" by Bell Biv DeVoe to the spiritual landscape: Things that appear helpful or godly can actually be deeply harmful.
• Quote:

  "Some things that look beautiful are actually baked and some things that look pretty might just be poison… These lyrics aren’t for entertainment. These lyrics are education." (02:34)

• Warns that not everything labeled "Christian" is Christ-like.

3. Spiritual Narcissism Defined

• The "poison" of spiritual narcissism manifests as:
  • Spiritualized self-centeredness in both leaders and congregants.
  • Religious systems that enable arrogance, ego, and permissiveness under spiritual guise.
• Quote:

  "Everyone that claims Christ is not Christ like… Many people have come to Christianity looking for some peace, looking for some purpose, looking for some purity. But what they got was some poison… spiritual manipulation and spiritual poisoning masquerading as a spiritual prescription." (04:16)

4. Teaching from Luke 18: The Parable of Persistence and Posture in Prayer

a) The Widow and the Unrighteous Judge (Persistence)

• Daniels illustrates God's concern for endurance in faith—"long faith"—over mere intensity.
• Continual prayer is less about changing God's mind and more about what God produces in us through perseverance.
• Quote:

  "The persistence isn’t to get God to do something for you. The persistence is what God is using to do something in you." (20:45)

• Referencing James 1 & 4: God develops patience and perseverance in us through waiting, not just through obstacles.

b) The Pharisee and the Tax Collector (Posture)

• Moves from action (prayer) to attitude: God cares how you come to Him, not just that you do.
• Pharisee's self-congratulatory prayer is framed as a case study in spiritual narcissism.
• Quote:

  "The prayer was all about him. He commends himself. He compares himself and congratulates himself… The way he is practicing the principle of prayer is exposing us to his poison." (38:43)

5. Modern Spiritual Abuse & Trauma Bonding (48:00)

• Daniels critiques how spiritual language and concepts are weaponized for control:
  • "Submission" becomes subjugation.
  • "Covering" becomes control.
  • "Faithfulness" manipulated into violating boundaries.
• Result: Spiritual trauma bonding—an attachment to abusers, confusing trauma for devotion.
• Quote:

  "Spiritual trauma bonding is a psychological attachment that forms when a person experiences alternating cycles of abuse and affirmation within a religious context… You think you faithful, you trauma bonding." (51:44)

6. The Lingering Effects and the Need for Detox (58:00)

• Warns that the "smoke" of these environments lingers, affecting future relationships with God and church.
• Symptoms: Scriptural abandonment (rejecting all teaching due to bad experiences), spiritual suspicion (mistrust of even safe leaders).
• Quote:

  "The one that broke you, broke you so bad, you suspicious of the one God sent to heal you." (01:00:45)

7. The Call to Healing and Responsibility (01:03:00)

• Healing from spiritual exploitation is a miraculous work of God, not a self-help project.
• Daniels advocates for a posture of compassion and empathy for those hurt by church leaders or systems.
• Quote:

  "I’m sorry they took advantage of you. I’m sorry they use you in that way. ... The one that broke you ain't coming back to fix you. Your brokenness is their fault, but your healing is your responsibility.” (01:06:50)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Faith and Persistence:

  "Strong faith is long faith. It’s not how big you can believe, it’s how long you can believe." (25:16)

• On Religious Arrogance:

  "Pharisees only list stuff they ain't done. But you got a list too." (40:22)

• On Weaponized Spiritual Language:

  "They misuse terms like submission, and they turn it into subjugating yourself to spiritual abuse… It creates temporary behavior modification and spiritual trauma bonding." (50:18)

• On Collective Responsibility and Empathy:

  "I want to be charitable… right now the Holy Spirit might be ministering to the person you gotta—you trying to step over because you just want to be on the shuttle first." (01:02:00)

Important Timestamps

• 00:01–07:00: Introduction; Bell Biv DeVoe reference; framing the theme of "poison."
• 07:00–18:00: Teaching on prayer as participation with God, not just petition.
• 18:00–32:00: Parable of the widow; building theological case for persistence and endurance in prayer.
• 32:00–41:30: Parable of Pharisee and tax collector; discussing posture and spiritual narcissism.
• 41:30–50:00: Personal anecdote about spiritual culture and judgment.
• 50:00–58:00: Spiritual abuse, manipulation, trauma bonding; how "biblical" language is used to control.
• 58:00–01:06:50: The lingering smell of "spiritual smoke"; symptoms of spiritual trauma; call for healing and Daniels’ apology.

Conclusion

Pastor Dharius Daniels delivers a confronting yet compassionate message, urging listeners to recognize and detoxify the "poison" of spiritual narcissism in their lives and faith communities. He distinguishes between authentic, transformative faith and practices that merely perpetuate trauma and self-centeredness—calling the church to a healing journey led by humility, persistence, and honest posture before God.