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And a great communicator. And she would have been preaching Amen today. Let's go to John chapter number 11, verse number 33. We're going to read a few verses here. And it says, when Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. Where have you laid him? He asked. Come and see, Lord. They replied, Jesus wept. And then the Jews said, see how he loved him. But some of them said, could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying? I want to tag a title to this text. We are in a series called Goaded, where we're saying, the goat is a lamb. The greatest of all time is Jesus. And he is not just our Redeemer who gets us to heaven, he's the rabbi who teaches us how to live on earth and that his desire for our life is not just that we like him, but that we live like Him. And all year at this church we are allowing him on how to teach us on how to live what we call third way. And so we're in volume two of this Go to series. Our emphasis is letting Jesus teach us how to circumvent self sabotage. And so I want to talk from this subject now. We're getting ready to have a real conversation about real life using a real Bible. So it might not be a lot of high five. Well, I don't have you high five your neighbor here anyway, but it might not be a lot of that. But I believe the Holy Spirit wants to minister to our perspective today. Somebody say yes in the room. And so I want to talk from this subject in our time together, family. Sad but not sabotaged. Sad but not sabotaged. We are sitting in the midst of a day that culture has dubbed and designated as Mother's Day. And if you thank God for for your mama, give God praise for her in the building. And although this day in and of itself has cultural and not kingdom origins, it can be redeemed for religious purposes. The celebration of Mother's Day can be a lived out expression of the biblical command to to honor your father and your mother. So although it is not spiritual in its origin, it can be spiritual in its implications. It is important, it is imperative, it is biblically appropriate for the Paul to pause for the cause and say, mama, thank you. However, I would be pastorally irresponsible. It would be naive and insensitive of me if I did not acknowledge that although all of us are experiencing Mother's Day simultaneously, We are not all experiencing Mother's Day similarly. For some, it's a day of joy. For others, it's a day of grief. Some are giddy. Others are trying to get themselves together. Some are celebrating presents. Others are mourning absence. Some are having brunch with mom. Others are battling memories of a mom who's gone, a mom they never met, or a mom they're still trying to forgive. Some are full of gratitude. Others are full of questions. Some have flowers. Others have flashbacks. Therefore, Mother's Day is not just an opportunity for celebration, and we should. It is also a time for education. Education where pastor education on how to steward days of despair and seasons of sadness. And you may not be struggling with sadness on this day because it's Mother's Day. But if you keep on living, there will be a day where a season of sadness and a day of despair pulls up on your doorstep. And it may not be the loss of a mother. It may be the loss of a spouse. It may be the loss of a child. It may be the loss of health, it may be the loss of a dream. It may be the loss of an opportunity. And if we aren't properly prepared on how to steward seasons of sadness away that you cannot alter, that you must endure, then our sadness becomes a seed that turns into self sabotage. Yep. The enemy we talked about this week, one not only wants to use our storms to provoke us to self sabotage. The enemy we talked about this last week not only wants to use our to provoke us to self sabotage. The enemy. Come here. Church will also use our sadness to provoke us to self sabotage. Because there are three ways you can do anything and there are three ways you can steward sadness. Culture's way, church's way and the king's way. Can we have a real conversation about real life using a real Bible? Okay. Culture's way is to suppress or self medicate sadness. It sees sadness as something to be silenced, suppressed or sedated. You're told to stay strong, get over it, or distract yourself with dysfunction. The emphasis is on image management and not inner healing. And this approach fails to understand that when that unprocessed sadness becomes repressed pain that leaks out in other areas and addiction, anxiety and detachment and explosive anger becomes expressions of it. It creates numbness but not healness. And I want to know, is there anybody in the room watching at any location that is honest enough to admit that some of my most self sabotaging behavior wasn't just when I was in a storm, but I was in some sadness? Do you not know. It's sadness that led some people back to the bottle. It was sadness that led some people back to the pills. It was sadness that led some people back to a toxic, abusive, exploitive, ungodly, unequally yoked relationship culture's way. But then there's church's way. And church's way is to mislabel it or minimize it. Yeah, yeah. Church culture sometimes slaps the wrong label on sadness. It calls it a lack of faith when it's really a sign of love. It calls it spiritual immaturity when it just might be emotional honesty. Some people aren't broken in their beliefs, they're broken in their hearts. And the results of this approach lead people to fake it instead of face it. They feel guilty about their humanity and they hide behind hallelujahs when they're hemorrhaging emotionally. And we know we have a distorted theology of sadness and humanity because when people go through seasons where they should be grieving and where the Bible says it is appropriate to grieve, we try to minister to their grief with religious platitudes that rush them out of sadness instead of causing them to. Causing them to get a revelation that God wants to walk with them through the valley of the shadow of death. Instead of letting them know that weeping may let me go to this. I said weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Instead of letting them know you got to sow in tears in order for you to reap in joy. Don't give me a religious platitude when my heart is broken. I know God is good. I'm not right now. Am I making sense? And oh, I can't wait to truth and fire. I can't wait to truth and fire. I can't wait to truth and fire. Because during truth and fire, I'm gonna do a session on the theology of humanness. Because many of us have not been taught the difference between what Paul calls the flesh and what God would call human. And you're conflating flesh with humanness. And there's some stuff that's human. It's not weakness, it's not flesh, it's not sin. It's human. The flesh is a nature that rebels against divine design. But humanity was God's intention for us as humans. I'm not going to bother this, but the incarnation is actually God becoming a human. So there's nothing wrong with being a human. There's something wrong when I allow my fear, flesh to drive my humanity. Being angry is human sinning out of anger is flesh. Being hungry is human. Being greedy is flesh. And when people don't know the difference, they won't let you sit in your humanity. Give me a minute. I'm sad. I need somebody to talk back to me at every location. I know God's gonna make a way, but I need a minute. I know he's gonna open the door, but I need a minute. I know Mama's in a better place, but I'm not in a good place right now. Give me a culture's way, church's way, and then there's the King's way. And this way honors your humanity and brings hope into your heaviness. It gives permission to cry because Ecclesiastes says there's a time to. It gives space to grieve and it gives power to heal. It leads to healing and not hiding. And a powerful picture of what I just expressed is seen in the text here in John 11. In John 11, Jesus manages His sadness in a way that is consistent with what I just articulated. John 11 exposes us to an incident in the life of Jesus where Jesus has experienced the loss of a friend named Lazarus. The Bible paints a very clear picture that he had a unique relationship with Lazarus and with his two sisters, Mary and Martha. It was so unique that when Lazarus got sick, his sisters sent word to Jesus. And this is the text message that they send it. Lord, the one you love is sick. Come on, come on. The one you. Because. Because your emotion ought to lead to some action. If you love them deeply, you ought to show up quickly. Come on. Here. But the text says Jesus waited. I said, the text says he waited. He waited so long that by the time he started heading in that direction, Lazarus was already dead. The disciples say, well, why are we going? He says, he's sleeping. What, he dead? No, he's sleeping. He's dead. No, he's sleeping. Why? Because me and me watch this. Me and God can be looking at the same thing, but that doesn't mean we see it the same way. He said, you say it's dead, but I say it's sleeping. And when I get there, all I'm getting ready to do is wake him up. You call it a resurrection. I call it a wake up. I don't know what's been dead in your life and you're assuming it's too late. I want you to know that the reason Jesus may not be moving the way you think he should be moving is because you looking at the same thing, but you don't see the same thing. You see rejection, he sees direction. You see a breakup, he see a breakthrough. You see a door close. He see a window getting ready to open. And I want somebody that was sad and upset about a Lazarus not living to just pause and give God 15 seconds of a you know what you doing praise. I don't know what you're doing, but you know what you're doing. It doesn't make sense to me, but it makes sense to. To you. We got to go. Text says Jesus Here in John 11 is dealing with the tension of having to be a messiah who's about to carry out a mission of resurrection, but also a man grieving the loss of a friend. And verse 35. Put it on the screens because they're not going to believe me in New Jersey or Gwinnett or DeKalb. Verse 35. These words are in your Bible. Jesus wept. I need somebody to hear what I just said because it's in your Bible, too. Jesus wept. Wait a minute. The lily of the valley wept. The bright and morning star wept. The wheel in the middle of a wheel wept. Lawyer in a courtroom wept. Dr. In a sick room wept. He's Jehovah Jireh nisi shammah, shalom to sit canoe all wrapped in one. He wept. That man wept. I could see if it said Darius wept. It says Jesus wept. What is this? Teach us about a theology of sadness. Don't miss this. Jesus knows he's going to perform a resurrection, but he still weeps. Are you ready for this? This shows us that even when you know God's going to fix it, you still feel it. I know he's going to fix it, but I feel it. I know he's gonna work it together for my good, but I feel it. I know what's coming is better than what's been. But right now, where is my honest church that will admit I trust God, but I feel it. I believe God, but I feel it. And the text says, verse 37. People are watching Jesus weep, and they ask a question. Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind have kept this man from dying? I love this question. I love this question. I love this question. Because Christians won't ask this question. Christians will have this question, but be afraid to ask this question because Christians feel like having questions is the same as questioning God. I'm not questioning God, but I got some questions. Come on here. Come on here. They are just not. They're just. They're just not hesitant in expressing a question that they really have, because here's what they ask, if this man can open blind eyes, could he not notice the question, prevent it? Could even become what we would call a theodicy question. How could a good God. Come on here. Allow something like this to happen to somebody he loved? I could even see if it was a Pharisee. And he took his time, but not Lazarus. Could he not prevent this? Come on. Could he not prevent this? And there are different variations and iterations of this question that many of us wrestle with from time to time, because we're wondering in the recesses of our soul, why did you let this happen? We can get to fixing it later. I need to know. Well, I want to know, why did you. Why did you let the. If you can open blind eyes, you could have prevented this from happening. I think it's a human question. I think it's a logical question. I think it's a normal question. But it doesn't mean it's a good question. Because the question reveals, like all of us do. They are imprisoning the actions of God to their lower level of reasoning. So they're thinking, if it don't make sense to me, it don't make sense. Come on here. But, but, but, but, but. How can I put this? But what they needed to understand and what you and I need to embrace from time to time is something extremely important and it's something extremely significant. Family. And that is the question that they asked actually revealed another issue that Jesus needed to fix. So they are asking a question because he didn't fix or hasn't fixed the Lazarus issue. But their question reveals another issue besides Lazarus that he want to fix. And he's using the Lazarus issue to expose another issue that they don't even see needs to be fixed. That's got to be fixed. Fixed. He said, you think the only thing needs to be fixed is Lazarus, but your question shows something else needs to be fixed, and that's your faith. Watch this. Because you got faith in my power, but you don't have faith in my plan. Come on here. Faith in his power means I believe you got the power. Faith in your plan means I trust the way you use it or you don't use it. I wish I had somebody in here that would be honest enough to admit it's one thing to believe in his power, it's another thing to trust his plan. Believing in his power says you can raise him up. Believing in his plan say, I trust you when you don't. And I got a question. Do you trust his plan? We out of here. Tario we got to clear this lot. Do you trust his plan? We shout over the power. I feel like shouting right now. We dance over the power. We rejoice over the power. But that faith is on another level when you trust the plan. Because that means I trust when you have power you don't use. You could have, but you didn't. And I don't understand it. But I trust you because you don't need trust for what you understand. So when you say oh for grace to trust you more, God's saying for me to build your trust, it means you got to deal with more stuff you don't understand because you need trust for what you don't have an answer for. And if you needed an answer, God will give you one. You want one, but you don't need one because if you needed one, he would give you one. The reason he won't give you one, because no matter which one he gives you, you still want Lazarus. Play Tari over there. He says no matter what reason I give you, it's not going to matter because you still want Lazarus. I can say I'm building the faith of a million people. And you're going to say, because you're not a used Tommy, what if I told you one of the most important things you're going to have to understand and I'm going to have to understand in our walk with God is you're not going to understand. And if you don't and I don't understand that, we're not going to understand. When sadness hits, your response is going to be self sabotage. Because we're going to try to numb the issue of the pain instead of, instead of allowing God to fix the issue that this situation has exposed. Because here it is. Sometimes bad relief is quick relief. You didn't hear what I just said. You know, with the right bottle in about 20 minutes on an empty stomach, I don't hear anybody talking to me. Bad relief, quick, but it's temporary. It's momentary. And when it wears off, you're still faced with Lazarus gone. So what did Jesus do that we can do? We're done. Jesus sat in his sadness. What do I mean? He didn't get stuck there, but he didn't sprint past what he felt. He had a verse 35 where he wept. I don't know how long your verse 35 is, but you gotta have one. For some people they Verse 35 is a year. For somebody else, your verse 35 may be three months. For somebody else it may be two weeks. But you gotta have a verse. 35. He sat in his sadness. Number two, he stewarded his sadness. He let his sadness drive him toward a resurrection. He didn't just succumb to his emotion. He used his emotion to carry out his purpose. He didn't work to distract from the pain, but he worked with it. And I know you're sad, but what if your healing is in performing a resurrection? What if sometimes helping others is part of what God's going to use to heal you? And then number three, he surrendered his sadness. See, this is really important for people who wired like me. Me, I'm type capital A. Do you hear what I just said? Yeah, here's the. The backside of that wiring. Sometimes it takes running into your humanity to remind you that you're. Whoo. Sometimes it takes running into something that you can't fix to remind you you can't fix everything. You need a savior. Don't mess with me. Yeah. That your affirmations, your reading is some sorrow that hits your heart that God said, you're gonna have to give me that. I don't care how many walks you take, you're not gonna walk out of this. I don't care how many vacations you go on. A beach is not a beach. Might have fixed that. A beach ain't fixing this. You need me. You need me to heal the brokenhearted Lord. I'm sad and I need you to get me unstuck. I can't get out by myself. And there's a day coming where there's a sorrow you're gonna have to surrender. And I love you too much. And I fear God too much. And I take this way too seriously to teach you. You can rebuke all your sadness away. No, I take this too serious to teach you that if you live right enough and live moral enough, you can avoid all sorrow. It's a whole book of the Bible called Job that contradicts that claim. He did nothing wrong. Bottom fell out. But our decision, our faith claim must be. I won't let sadness drive me into self sabotage. I' ma sit in it. I'm a steward it. And I'm a surrender. And I will grow through this. Not just go through this. In Jesus name. I want to be clear every location. You can't do nothing. I just said without Jesus.