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Change Your Brain Every Day
Alysha Newman's Journey Out of the Doom Loop to Olympic Glory
01:12:03
In this week's episode of Change Your Brain Every Day, Dr. Daniel Amen is joined by Olympic bronze medal-winning pole vaulter (and viral sensation) Alysha Newman for a discussion on how she was able to overcome setbacks, break through her mental...
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- [00:00]
A
There was one day I'd wake up, I would be like, this is the best life ever. And then two hours later, I wanted nothing to do with life. I didn't even want to live. And it just wasn't me. I became a character that I didn't recognize, and it was really hard. And I remember looking at my mom like, what do we do? And she goes, well, let's go to a doctor. Let's just see what happens. And their first instinct for me was, okay, let's treat the symptoms. You're anxious, you're overwhelmed, and you have an Olympic Games coming up. Let's put you on antidepressants now, obviously, full circle. You know, I needed that to happen, to be who I am today. But at the time, it was such a wrong diagnosis.
- [00:41]
B
Every day you are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better every day. So I am here with the Olympic medalist, Alicia Newman. So excited to have you.
- [01:01]
A
Thank you.
- [01:01]
B
We have been on this journey together for the last three years.
- [01:06]
A
Been a while.
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B
Three. Almost three years ago, you came and you were sort of a mess.
- [01:13]
A
Not sort of a lot of mess.
- [01:16]
B
And so you've actually gone to three Olympics.
- [01:20]
A
Yep.
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B
And right before Tokyo in April 2021, you fell in the bathtub in Iowa.
- [01:31]
A
Yep.
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B
And you had a bad concussion.
- [01:34]
A
Yeah.
- [01:35]
B
And you had gone to Rio, and that was when you were a baby and really young and excited and getting ready for Tokyo. The fall really changed things for you. Talk about that.
- [01:52]
A
Yeah. So it was a mindless get into the shower, you know, after practice, we were all going out to dinner after, and it was just me stepping at the wrong step at the wrong time. And I went face first into a faucet. Not one of my most proud moments, but right from there, I got really dizzy. I did throw up, and I kind of army crawled to my bed to get to my phone to call my agents and to see if I was actually okay. But I. Like, really, after, like, maybe two hours, once the paramedics looked me over everything, I was like, you know what? I can actually compete tomorrow. I think I'm okay. Um, and I didn't really feel any effects. I. Again, when you're in that athlete mindset, you feel like you're invincible. You feel like nothing's gonna affect you. You feel like you're on top of the world because you have to feel that way to be the best at something. And so later did I figure out that, you know, month after month, after month, I was just not getting better. I. I had very much. Couldn't fall asleep. I was having hard time seeing. I would see black spots everywhere. Anywhere I walked outside any white wall, I would see black and string little black spots. And then I would also be so emotional. I was like, there was one day I'd wake up, I would be like, this is the best life ever. And then two hours later, I wanted nothing to do with life. I didn't even want to live. And it just wasn't me. I became a character that I didn't recognize. And it was really hard. And I remember looking at my mom like, what do we do? And she goes, well, let's go to a doctor. Let's just see what happens. And their first instinct for me was, okay, let's treat the symptoms. You're anxious, you're overwhelmed, and you have an Olympic games coming up. Let's put you on antidepressants. And I think it was now obviously full circle. I needed that to happen, to be who I am today. But at the time it was such a wrong diagnosis. They didn't diagnose the actual injury. And what happened, you know, they diagnosed my emotions and I felt like I just was misled. And being on antidepressants was even worse. You know, I broke out in hives. I wasn't eating. I was. Felt like I was, you know, my excessive drinking is like twice a week right at that time. And then I was drinking three times a week, you know, so like things just weren't adding up. What was normal for me. And so after that happened, I felt very embarrassed. I felt like I was at my lowest in Tokyo. I remember coming home on a flight from Tokyo. I got plastered on the flight because I didn't want to feel anything. I just wanted to sleep the full 12 hours home. And the airline called my, the team manager and then my parents picked me up. I don't even think I collected my suitcase and I went and slept in my parents bed for a week. Post that. So that's when I reached out to you and I said, I just need help. I'm, I'm. I have don't know where to go. I don't know who to, who can help me and what can we do from now? Like, is there any saving or is this my life forever?
- [04:54]
B
Right. So you DM'd me on Instagram, slid.
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A
Into your DM.
- [05:01]
B
And wonderful. Natalie fought, saw that.
- [05:03]
A
Yes, she did.
- [05:05]
B
So for someone who is the Canadian champion and you've been the Canadian pole Vaulting champion for how long?
- [05:14]
A
I mean, in the senior category, probably 10 years now. So I won Canadian Seniors. So.
- [05:20]
B
To go to Tokyo.
- [05:21]
A
Yeah.
- [05:22]
B
Not make any bars.
- [05:23]
A
Yeah. Not even jump.
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B
Devastating.
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A
Well, it was just a time in your life that this is my profession. It'd be like, you know, if you showed up to work and didn't know how to diagnose a patient or you didn't know what to do with them. You know, you're like, completely not present, and you want nothing to do with anyone around you. You want nothing to do with yourself and your thoughts. And it just became very, why am I living? And that's when I started questioning myself. Because I love life, and I've always loved life. And so it was interesting to feel that something felt so minor, be such a big thing that held me back, from me accomplishing what I believed I could accomplish a long time ago. But again, full circle.
- [06:11]
B
So you asked me, daniel, what's the single most important thing you've learned from 250,000 scans?
- [06:21]
A
Yes.
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B
Mild traumatic brain injury ruins people's lives, and nobody knows about it.
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A
And it's insane.
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B
If you would have seen me, I'm like, oh, we have to look at your brain.
- [06:32]
A
Yes.
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B
And how did you find me?
- [06:36]
A
Yeah, well, actually, I've always followed you on Instagram. And actually, if we go back to right from the beginning, I was dating an NFL player, and he was always concerned. You know, you hear about cte, you hear about how they become aggressive, and they don't. They're not themselves post playing. And so I was curious at that time when I was dating him, I said I had mentioned it to him. I was like, I think we should go get our brain scanned. And at the time, he took it very offensively. He goes, I'm fine. I don't need any help. Every. Everything is great. But at that time, I didn't want to overstep. You know, he's in his profession. It was like, if you want to, I want to do it, too. Well, come full circle. Three years later, after we've had gone our own ways, I said, I still am interested in that. And I kept following you all these years. So I probably been following you since 2014, or actually maybe 2015, you know, in university, because I just was so intrigued by the human brain, and. And pole vault is one of the most mental sports in track and field. And I could never understood why, like, things were happening when I was trying to physically do something, but my brain was stopping me from doing something.
- [07:48]
B
Well, it's important. I think that you mentioned your relationship with the NFL player because it became very public. Yes. His brand may not have been as healthy as it could be.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And you guys made tmz and it was a disaster.
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A
Not. Not TMZ you want to be on, not the good tmz. If there is.
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B
It's not NBC Sports.
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A
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And that's the thing, I think when you love someone so much and you see it, you want to help that person out. But again, like, we've even talked about this. Until someone really wants to help themselves, you can only lead them so much. You can't force them to want to change. And again, I'm. I. I hope. And I've always wished for him to have the best. I think we've talked about this a long time ago. I don't need forgiveness. I don't need any of that. It was okay. Hopefully he's being taken care of and he's happy and he's healthy. Because now that I've been through what I've been through, I only empath, empathy, empathize with him on, like, what he's been through.
- [08:57]
B
Yeah. And if you don't look, you don't know.
- [09:02]
A
Yeah. Nothing venture, nothing gain.
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B
That crazy. And so concussion in April, you see me, I think, in November. November of that year.
- [09:15]
A
Yeah.
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B
The Olympics were disaster.
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A
Yeah.
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B
For you. And when I saw you, I thought you were depressed.
- [09:22]
A
Yes.
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B
Really negative. I was infested with what we call ants. Automatic negative thoughts.
- [09:30]
A
Yes.
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B
And your mind was bouncing all over the place. And I remember you told me this one thing the first time we met is, I will be a failure if I don't meddle in Paris, and my future children will be disappointed in me. And when you said that, I'm like, we have good work to do.
- [09:51]
A
There's something to fix.
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B
We need to fix that. Because ultimately, if you meddle, which you did, you just made it harder on your children.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Right.
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A
I know.
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B
Because now they're going to feel like they have to live up, and either way, your kids aren't going to care.
- [10:09]
A
No.
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B
If you show up for them and if you listen and if you're kind. That's right. Ultimately. Right. That's what you wanted. Exactly what you want from your mom.
- [10:21]
A
Well. And you sit there and you think, these things are the most important to me, but you realize the things that are most important you can't happen until you're willing to, like, make those changes or actually commit that time into trying to be different. And that's Been the difference for me. I. I thought it was like, you know, a month of being good, you know, of treating myself right and talking to myself in the mirror. But it's a lifetime thing. It's like, it's not never guaranteed you were going to wake up and feel great. I even have some bad morning. Morning still to this day, but I still know the feeling of having great mornings, and I'm more invested in those days. And I let the bad days go. You know, you can't. Well, you learn.
- [11:01]
B
Right. One of the big hallmarks is when or learn.
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A
Yeah. That's what got me through the last two years.
- [11:09]
B
This podcast is brought to you by the Change your Brain foundation, dedicated to ending the concept of mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health. Go to changeyourbrain.org to learn how you can support our mission. So the doom. You were in the doom loop. I was when I first met you. And the doom loop starts in pain hq. That's the acronym for it. So the P. Is There are pain triggers, and you had two big ones, which was the concussion and how that changed things for you. And then the failure. And what that does is it alerts your brain we have a problem. And then it activates, and we're going to show your skin something called the medial pain suffering.
- [12:11]
A
Yeah.
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B
Pathway. And that pathway is vulnerable.
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A
Right.
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B
In people who've had past trauma.
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A
Right.
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B
And failure clearly is past trauma.
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A
Of course.
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B
Right. But you also had the domestic issue with your ex.
- [12:32]
A
Yeah.
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B
That was traumatic. You also broke your back when you were 12 years old.
- [12:37]
A
Yes.
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B
Because you initially didn't want to be a pole vaulter. You initially wanted to be a gymnast.
- [12:43]
A
Yeah.
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B
But you got too big.
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A
Yeah. Too tall.
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B
Too tall. Yeah. And then you hurt yourself.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Right.
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A
Over training, too. Yeah.
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B
Incredibly traumatic. And so. And you were bullied in school.
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A
My whole life.
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B
And you were different.
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A
Right.
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B
You've always.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Been different.
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A
I always. Never understood why, like, someone would do something and I wanted to do the other thing. It was my whole life. So now I understand why.
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B
And then when you activate that pain pathway.
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A
Yeah.
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B
You get this invasion of ants.
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A
Yes.
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B
And negativity bias and catastrophic thinking, which then leads to muscle tension.
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A
Yes.
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B
The nervous tension.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And then some repressed emotions which we end up dealing with, which I really.
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A
Feel that at that fourth. That nervous tension, then that becomes, like, muscle tension, too. I was having aches and pains that I've never had before in my track career, and I didn't understand where it was coming from, which I think is Cool.
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B
That.
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A
That. That was also a physical warning, you know, for me.
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B
Which then leads to bad habits trying.
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A
To get rid of the pain, war.
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B
Fear, bad habits to try to fix things. And the doctors are just sort of throwing medicine at you.
- [14:11]
A
Yes.
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B
But they're not connecting. They think it's the stress of the Olympics rather than the concussion that change things, which then gives you in this quagmire that quickens pain and limits motion.
- [14:28]
A
Yes.
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B
And one of the wild cards in all of this for you, which is very common in people who have concussions, is the Earl syndrome.
- [14:37]
A
Yes.
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B
And when I first met you and then I saw your scan, I'm like, she has the Erlan syndrome and actually sent you to Long Beach.
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A
And Helen Erland, she was amazing.
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B
For people who don't know that the Erlen syndrome is a visual processing disorder where you end up with depth perception.
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A
Yes.
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B
Problems. And then headaches and trouble reading and trouble focusing and depth perception. Problems in a pole vaulter is if you just think of the amazing things you do with your body. It's just incredible. And if you're off just a half a centimeter.
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A
Yeah.
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B
It can change it. And you can end up hurt.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Which is why you didn't jump, because you knew you might hurt yourself. And in Tokyo or in any athletic stadium at night, the lights are so bright.
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A
Yes.
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B
They disrupt brain function.
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A
Yeah. And that's where I was starting to realize, like, my thoughts were so heightened, which is the ants. Like, I was thinking of, oh, what's that person over there doing in the middle of my competition? Someone in the stands out. I would eating a burger. I was like, I wonder what that burger tastes like. You know, like it was just so heightened into ways I've never seen it before. And again, that depth perception. I was running into things at home that I've never really run into. So these were like key little warning signs. Right. That I now that we're out of it. We know. And so that's why I think it's so good that we're sharing it, because I think it's important.
- [16:15]
B
And ultimately, the healing loop, it came to recognizing the triggers. And every day we learn from them.
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A
Yes.
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B
Our mantra for the last three years.
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A
Yeah.
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B
When we learn. Or learn.
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A
Yeah.
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B
Right.
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A
Never learn.
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B
You even said that one of the post Olympic interviews. I didn't fail.
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A
Never at all. Yeah.
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B
I won. Or I learned.
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A
Yeah. Yeah.
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B
And then calm this suffering pathway with breathing and havening certain supplements to help calm things down. And then you became masterful at killing the ants.
- [17:02]
A
Yeah. We were good at that. I hired a whole team. It's a minion team.
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B
We're gonna get to the minion.
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A
Yes.
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B
Positivity bias training. So when I first saw you, on a scale of 0 to 100, you were 27. So 73% of people were more positive than I was. And I think now you're like 74 or something. Your positivity has just grown so much. And when I first saw you, you're really good at reading faces.
- [17:38]
A
Yeah.
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B
But you read negative faces way faster. And now you read positive faces.
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A
Oh, I didn't realize.
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B
A little paranoid.
- [17:46]
A
Yeah.
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B
Because you were sad.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And you were.
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A
Well, it was probably what I was feeling was what I was attracted to, you know, And I think you naturally attract. What do they say? Misery loves company. You know, It's a huge saying, and it's true. I think I wanted people to feel sad with me so you would recognize that a lot more and to be related, you know?
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B
And then later on, as you get better and better, you don't really like being around negative people at all.
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A
You, like. It's hard to feel sorry for some people. And you want to, though, because you have a heart still, obviously. But you're like, gosh, but your life's so beautiful because you see their life through your eyes and your feelings. And then you're like, your life is amazing. What are you talking about? And you can't really feel bad for people, you know? And that's been. That's been something really eye opening for me in the last couple months, for sure.
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B
So do you remember when you told me if the girls would be negative, that would really bother you.
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A
Yeah. Yeah.
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B
And do you remember what I told you?
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A
Well, you told me how to cope with it.
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B
I said, that's your competitive advantage.
- [18:53]
A
Yes.
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B
Because when you're negative, it actually turns off.
- [18:58]
A
Yes.
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B
The cerebellum in the back bottom part of the brain, which is your coordination center.
- [19:05]
A
Yes.
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B
And so if they're negative and you're not.
- [19:10]
A
Yeah.
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B
You're going to jump higher than them. And I remember at the finals.
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A
Yeah.
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B
There are five girls left.
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A
Yes.
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B
And two of them were negative.
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A
Yeah.
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B
They were like, oh, I'm going to meddle.
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A
I'm like, I'm about to meddle right now.
- [19:24]
B
So letting go of the negativity, we did a lot of positivity bias training. And one of my favorite ones was the rule of 12.
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A
Oh, this is my favorite one. I still have it in my pocket.
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B
It's like psychological flexibility is a sign of Mental health, if you get upset with everything that goes wrong, you're a victim of whatever circumstances you're in. And so the rule of 12 is, I'm not going to be angry until the 12th thing has gone wrong.
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A
And I took it a step further. I'm not going to react until 12 things have gone wrong, because I think we're quick to react based off of something that could have happened in your life. But to me, it was like, even at the Olympics, like, there was tons of things happening in the infield that I was like, Nope, not at 12 yet. I'm at 8, but I'm not at 12.
- [20:22]
B
Right. And in the Olympic final, yeah, there was this long delay because one of the standards.
- [20:30]
A
Standards, yes, they broke.
- [20:32]
B
Broke. And that was frustrating.
- [20:35]
A
Yeah, it was. I think at the point, I was like, I remember the silver medalist, Katie. She's like, this always happens. And I was like, oh, really? Because I didn't recognize this. Obviously, this is my first time in this situation. And so it was funny because it was like it didn't matter what was happening. Obviously, at that point, we knew we meddled, but I was still going to give my best foot forward on my next attempt, no matter how long I had to wait. It's the Olympic Games. And that was. I mean, I get goosebumps saying it, because in Tokyo 2021, I was like, get me out of this stadium. And now I say Olympics, I say Paris. And I'm like, give me more. Like, let me go to la. I want to be at la. Let me be there.
- [21:17]
B
So training your mind. And that happened over a long period of time. When you get up in the morning, say, well, today is going to be a great day. When you go to bed at night, what went well today? And you just made these practices. And then we developed an Olympic medal affirmation, which we'll share.
- [21:38]
A
Yes.
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B
And then initiate relaxation, emotional expression. And we did 40 sessions of EMDR eye movement desensitization and reprocessing. And that's where the minions showed up.
- [21:56]
A
They came in. They were there. They were hiding in my. In my subconscious brain. But they were. They were just. It was. It was a light for me because I came back to the chill. The childness in me, having minions around you, watching, they're just like little fun little guys.
- [22:11]
B
So the people watching, they're going to.
- [22:13]
A
Like, who is this? What's going on?
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B
EMDR is a specific psychological treatment.
- [22:19]
A
Yes.
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B
For trauma.
- [22:20]
A
Yes.
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B
But we all. And I noticed this when we would go back to traumatic events for You. You would get sad.
- [22:28]
A
Yeah.
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B
So we also used it to fly high for you in your mind to visualize success and greatness. And we did it over and over, but we also went after the trauma processed it.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And in February of this year, you're just about to go to the indoor finals.
- [22:55]
A
Yes.
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B
You're one of the leaders because you had a great indoor season.
- [22:59]
A
Yes, I did.
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B
And you sprained your ankle.
- [23:03]
A
Yes.
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B
And how did you sprain your ankle?
- [23:05]
A
Walking over a hurdle, doing something. I need to be in a bubble. That's. That's just me. What's wrong with me? It's like, injuries. And that's what ended up being at one of our clicks was none of my major injuries have ever happened. Pole vaulting. And I'm like, oh, so it's safest pole vaulting. So I just need to pole vault every day. But yeah.
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B
And so you were sort of cooling down after practice and you walked over a hurdle or jumped over the hurdle.
- [23:31]
A
Yeah, I just misplaced my foot coming over a hurdle. I mean, I do that every time after practice, and it just happened to be, again, a wrong step, maybe a little tired. I mean, we talked a lot about our hrv, like, over the last couple of years, and it was lower that day.
- [23:46]
B
So for people who don't know, that's heart rate variability training. One of the things we use to help you. Yeah. To get your body more relaxed. Because when HRV is low, you're more vulnerable.
- [23:59]
A
Yep, exactly.
- [23:59]
B
To injuries.
- [24:00]
A
Yeah.
- [24:01]
B
And so here it is February. The Olympics are in August. And you severely.
- [24:08]
A
Yeah, I tried everything.
- [24:09]
B
I have a picture of it.
- [24:10]
A
Yeah. It's gross. Yes. That was.
- [24:14]
B
But, you know, I was so proud of you because you didn't let it defeat you.
- [24:20]
A
Yeah. I think that was only my, like, ninth injury in my career, so I can't get mad yet. Right.
- [24:28]
B
And you worked really hard, and I love that you kept your mind strong.
- [24:33]
A
Yeah.
- [24:34]
B
And you did hyperbaric oxygen, which has been a huge positive benefit for your brain and your body.
- [24:41]
A
And even time alone, like, going in there to, like, get off your phone, like, you're in a. In a. You're locked in this chamber for 90 minutes. It really allowed me to, like, take a nap. It forced me to take a nap every day. And I think we talk about how important sleep is, and that was a. Forced to help me sleep.
- [25:03]
B
And then after the injury and you're recovering, you're like, why do I have this thought that I'm going to be hurt?
- [25:11]
A
Yeah.
- [25:12]
B
And so we did EMDR around. I'm going to be hurt.
- [25:15]
A
Yes.
- [25:16]
B
And that's where the minions show up in your mind.
- [25:21]
A
Yes. And they. They were again, like I said, they were a light. To me, it was, I need a team. I can't do this alone. I'm clearly going through another cycle of feeling that I'm going to get hurt again. Because we talked about it, it hurt. That ankle sprain was probably my worst ankle sprain to this date. I've sprained my ankles a lot too. And it just the recovery of it. We did end up getting PRP shots. So a lot of my ligaments were concreted to each other. And the acupuncture and the release of it was, like, painful. The most pain I've ever had. If you want to torture somebody, put acupuncture needles at the bottom of someone's foot. And I kid not, they'll never come back. But it was just pain I've never experienced in my career. But I knew my end goal was to make it to the Olympics. And I'm. I'm not letting this injury tell me I'm not going to medal. Like, I can't. And I needed to find a team that, like, made things light. And that's my dad. He's very good at that. And I think of my dad as a minion. I think of him as, like, again, we're just here having fun. Let's play. Like, let's play all the time. And once we lighted that up, I think those thoughts slowly started to fade away, which is the ants of me thinking I was going to get hurt.
- [26:36]
B
Well, and so what I remember when we were doing EMDR around. You're going to be hurt again. You got this image of like 12 minions and they all together went, ah, we're not helping her.
- [26:53]
A
Yes.
- [26:54]
B
We're hurting her.
- [26:55]
A
Yeah.
- [26:55]
B
So we need to help her.
- [26:56]
A
Yes.
- [26:57]
B
And that's where the minions come in, which become very important.
- [27:02]
A
Yes.
- [27:02]
B
So you let go of the ants. We did. Emdr. So important. We'll talk about some of the themes. Yeah. And then you embraced brain health. I was so proud of you. Because, you know, for anybody who knows anything about me.
- [27:16]
A
Yeah.
- [27:16]
B
Like, it's not mental illness.
- [27:18]
A
It's brain health.
- [27:19]
B
Get your brain healthy and your mind will follow y your world class bull, Walter. Alcohol damages your cerebellum.
- [27:29]
A
Yeah.
- [27:29]
B
Probably you should stop drinking.
- [27:31]
A
Yes. Well, I think it was just one of those realization. It was again, one of those things. Nothing venture, nothing gain. And you hear about, you know, people go dry. January and I Was like, oh, let me just try a month. And then, you know, I started actually, I remember the date. September 24, 2023. I said, I'm not drinking ever again. And it was very hard. The first two months, I was like, I don't know what we're talking about. I don't think this is helping. I felt like I couldn't be as social. I couldn't do this. And then month three came around. I was like, oh, like I'm recovering a lot faster. I'm not as tired in my workouts. And then months six and seven, I was remembering names, I was remembering things from my childhood. I started remembering people and environments. And I think maybe a little more trauma came back because I started being more clear minded. And so we started working on even more trauma stuff. And I think at the end of the day, you start realizing that it's. It's like putting like a clouded sheet in front of your eyes. Every month that went by a little bit clearer came to my, my mind and I could feel emotions. I could control my, my physical on the Runway. I could tap into being tunnel vision or being fun and light and happy. I was able to control my thoughts. And that's where I tell people is like, again, this was for me. And it's not like you ever said, alicia, stop drinking. I mean, I worked with you almost two years before that, and you said, I just recommend, I recommend it. And finally I just said, I'm going to try it. And I think to this day, I. Well, again, I had a glass of champagne after the Olympics, but again, it wasn't what I thought of a celebration. It was, I can't wait to go to sleep and have dreams about what I just did. You know, the mindset changed. And again, maybe that's not fun to people, but to wake up the next day and feel all the feels from the Olympic Games and not feel hungover has been so fun for me because.
- [29:27]
B
I. Yeah, I never got why that was fun.
- [29:29]
A
Yeah.
- [29:29]
B
And I went to the party that went on to the middle of the night.
- [29:34]
A
You were so good, too.
- [29:35]
B
Lots of alcohol.
- [29:37]
A
Yeah, you were really good.
- [29:38]
B
The more the alcohol goes, the less interesting people become. If you're sober. Yes, of course.
- [29:45]
A
Well, words just don't make sense at that point.
- [29:49]
B
But you had such a wonderful family then we talked a lot about your diet.
- [29:53]
A
A lot.
- [29:53]
B
And this is where, you know, whenever I see dried mangoes, I think of you. And we just, we spent a lot of time just sort of going through how you ate before competitions.
- [30:09]
A
Yeah, Well, I think one of my main concerns was, is this the concussion. Why I all of a sudden get halfway through a competition, and I don't want to be there anymore. I think that was one of my first topics to you, and you're like, what are you eating in the infield? I was like, oh, dried mangoes, you know, Red Bull, like, these very high sugar foods. And you're like, oh, my gosh, Alicia, are you all right? Like, do you need help? I'm like, clearly. So it was really an aha moment for us because not only were we working very, very hard on the brain health, now we're going to take the nutrition to help the brain health, because you can, again, only take so many vitamins that are going to help, but your everyday habits of, like, eating the right food to fuel you. I didn't realize that really affected me while I was competing. And again, dried mangoes over, like. I know, like, Sandy Morris loves a Mars bar, and it works for her, but if I were to eat a Mars bar, my sugars would crash so hard.
- [31:12]
B
And you were a continuous glucose monitor for months for.
- [31:16]
A
Actually. Yeah, two times two weeks. So, Yeah, a month. A month long.
- [31:20]
B
And you saw what foods spiked your blood sugar.
- [31:24]
A
Yes.
- [31:24]
B
And where you were.
- [31:26]
A
Yeah, that was huge because it wasn't a lot of different things. It was changing from jasmine rice to brown rice, changing from dried almonds to an apple with almond butter. You know, so it wasn't crazy different of changes. It was just switching, you know, different brands or different things that you like. Yeah, that I still was eating, you know, and I enjoyed it.
- [31:46]
B
But, you know, when you have a long competition, you have to protect your blood sugar, because when it goes low, then you don't want to be there. And it's not that you don't want to be there. It's your blood sugar.
- [31:58]
A
You just crashed. Yeah. And you want to go sleep. That's how I think of, like, you know, eating Thanksgiving. Everyone wants to sleep after because we eat all this food at Thanksgiving, and then you go into a food coma. And that's what was happening on the infield. I was eating nuts and dried fruit and all these things. And all of a sudden, within that 30 to an hour, I was only halfway through my competition. I was like, oh, I'm good for the day. I'm gonna go home. I want to rest.
- [32:21]
B
One of my favorite strategies that you did was when you learned how to kill the ants.
- [32:27]
A
Yes.
- [32:28]
B
Is you would imagine these two white lines going down the Runway, and they're White hot.
- [32:35]
A
Hot.
- [32:35]
B
So the ants couldn't jump over and get you.
- [32:39]
A
Yes.
- [32:40]
B
Because ultimately when you jump high, you're not thinking.
- [32:45]
A
Yes.
- [32:45]
B
Right. You're relying on your motorcycle, 10,000 hours of practice on your skills and you didn't allow the negativity to come in.
- [32:57]
A
Yeah. Well, you create a boundary. And I used to do that a lot with my exes. When they would say bad things or say something that was disrespectful, I'd put them in a corner, like a timeout in the corner. They weren't actually in the corner in my mind. They were in the corner. And it was a way for me to cope, to say, okay, we're going to put them in timeout. But the same thing for my aunts on the infield. It was like, when I'm in between these two white lines, no negative or no one can get to me. This is my safe space. This is where I'm going to be my strongest, my most powerful female athlete wise. And I'm going to light it up. And then when I get off the mat, we'll deal with the ants. Once we get off the mat and we're outside of those white lines and.
- [33:39]
B
We'Ll deal with them. Right. We'll kill them all.
- [33:42]
A
Yes. Well, that's why I had to hire 12 minions. They had a bazooka them.
- [33:50]
B
And you know, as we do all of that thing, it fosters healing motion, a better mood, more connection.
- [33:55]
A
Yeah.
- [33:56]
B
And the self perpetuating healing look. And the three years we worked. I mean, we worked hard all three years.
- [34:04]
A
No, we were very consistent too.
- [34:05]
B
I think that was so some of the highlights. So we worked on being the CEO of your life. I've been a CEO for 35 years and I love. It's like, okay, what's the goal?
- [34:16]
A
Well, too you people don't think that you deserve your life. And you are, you are the CEO of your own life. And like to know that power so.
- [34:24]
B
Often I think you were run by what you thought other people wanted.
- [34:28]
A
And that was huge for me to be like, wait, is that their goal or my goal? And that slowly we figured that out on what actually my goals were.
- [34:36]
B
Yeah. And before the Olympics, you gave everybody who came.
- [34:39]
A
Yes.
- [34:41]
B
Tasks, roles.
- [34:43]
A
They loved it. It was my siblings, my mom and dad and Jake as well. Like, we put them in roles. And my sister was team captain, so she was the only one. She was amazing. She is. She truly. She saved in my phone as my better half. Because she truly is.
- [34:58]
B
But you were in charge rather than being a victim of chaos of the Olympics. You and. And we worked on this a lot, anticipating obstacles and what had been problems in the past.
- [35:12]
A
Yeah.
- [35:12]
B
And you're the boss.
- [35:14]
A
Yeah. And that was a hard leadership role that I wanted not to accept at first because I said, it's. It's my Olympics. They should go and have fun and they do what they want. But little did I know, because I love them so much. Everything they do affects me because I care for them. And so by. By not being rude, not being aggressive, but saying, hey, guys, here's how I see you in my life. This is how you've helped me get here, and I hope you can continue it through the next 16 days at the Olympics. And it was the same thing. My brother, he always texted me before competition. So he texted me the morning. It's like a replay, you know, it's like a consistent routine that you don't go out of line and you're on the path that you know and you're. And you're aware of. And that was. I wish I could give all my siblings a piece of the metal because they really stuck to those roles, and they love them. They embrace it. Any other potential family could have been like, why are we taking roles from you? Like, we're here to support. We support you. We love you. Why do we need a role? But they dove right in it with me. So that was.
- [36:22]
B
And so clarity of what you needed. We talked about that a lot.
- [36:27]
A
Yeah.
- [36:27]
B
And then one of the biggest things we talked about was being your best.
- [36:33]
A
Yes.
- [36:33]
B
And not the best.
- [36:34]
A
No.
- [36:35]
B
And Katie, after she won the gold in Tokyo, she said it was the worst year of her life.
- [36:46]
A
Yes. Yes.
- [36:47]
B
And I wrote a opinion piece during the Tokyo Olympics about why the Olympics are bad for people. Because you have to be the best.
- [37:03]
A
Yeah.
- [37:04]
B
And to be the best, that means you have to beat other people. And that's a prescription for separation.
- [37:12]
A
Yeah.
- [37:13]
B
And misery.
- [37:14]
A
Yeah.
- [37:14]
B
But to be your best.
- [37:16]
A
Yeah.
- [37:16]
B
Well, then you can help other people be their best.
- [37:18]
A
Yep.
- [37:18]
B
Too. And that's to bring people together. And you won or you learn.
- [37:28]
A
Yeah.
- [37:28]
B
And you're so consistent the last four months or so.
- [37:34]
A
Yeah.
- [37:35]
B
So consistent.
- [37:36]
A
And I was hungry, and I wanted it because I knew every competition I went, I was my best. And it was good enough to be 1, 2, or 3 at the Olympics. At any competition I did. Right. And I think that's what. When you say I got to be the best, you make it a world. Opinions. Everybody's opinions in it. But when you say my best it's just you and your internal self. And that's why I just need to be better than I was the competition before. And then I do it again, and I do it again, and I did it all the way to my medal. And that's what was such and beyond. And then beyond now. Yes. Right.
- [38:12]
B
In Rome and Switzerland and Belgium.
- [38:14]
A
Yep. And I backed it up. You know, it was one of those things you have that thought of like, oh, am I going to lose this high from the Olympics? But I embraced it. I embraced everything that came my way, all the messages I received, all the people that I crossed and got to share my medal with. It was a lot of energy, and I felt drained at the end of most days, but I said, this is the part of it. This is what you get to be a part of being an Olympic medalist. And I think because my mindset was so positive, I never went in to a negative and feeling like I'm tired. I just want to go home and I just want to sleep, you know.
- [38:48]
B
It was because you weren't drinking.
- [38:49]
A
Yeah. That's.
- [38:50]
B
You were eating right. You're not drinking, you're eating right. You don't believe all negative things going on in your mind.
- [38:57]
A
Yes.
- [38:58]
B
And every day you won or you learned, you aligned your team. Yeah, we worked on purpose.
- [39:06]
A
Yes.
- [39:06]
B
And your purpose was not the medal.
- [39:09]
A
No.
- [39:09]
B
It was to inspire.
- [39:11]
A
Yes.
- [39:11]
B
The next generation.
- [39:13]
A
Yeah. You know, a medal seems like it's for one person. And I think, you know, I got to my third Olympics realizing I'm not doing this for myself. I'm doing it for the team. And then now I'm doing it for the next generation of female pole vaulters. I'm the first ever Canadian female pole vaulter to bring home a medal for Canada. I'm historical and like to know that I can take that title and run with that now. There's a lot of good things going to come my way and then their way, because I paid that path for them, and that's what I look forward to. I've matured very quickly in my mindset because I wanted to be that leader for Canada.
- [39:50]
B
And your coach has a daughter.
- [39:52]
A
Yes. Who's a pole vaulter.
- [39:55]
B
She's a teenager, but she's actually really good.
- [39:58]
A
She's incredible.
- [39:58]
B
And you inspire her.
- [40:00]
A
Yes. And that's. That's what's been. I wrote her a beautiful long letter after the Olympics, and I said thank you because she would train with me on Tuesdays. And I said thank you for bringing my inner self back because she was a spitting image of who I was when I was her age. And I said, you're right. I started pole vault just like Nell is starting. And without her by my side, the last year, year and a half, I don't think I would have accomplished this. She showed me that sports should be fun, challenging, but also thrilling all at once. And it was very, very cool and a surreal moment for me to be next to her. We have photos of her holding my pole when she just learned to walk when she was 2 years old. And then we have her now jumping. She just missed my record at 15 years old. So I jumped 375, and she just missed the 75 bar, and she went 370 this year. So that's what I hope for her, and I hope I can pave that path for her because again, I.
- [40:57]
B
And you can give her some mindset tools.
- [40:59]
A
Yes.
- [40:59]
B
Yeah, we'll help her when she's a teenager. It's like, you know, maybe when they offer you alcohol the night before tournament.
- [41:06]
A
You want to say no. Yes. Might save her some time.
- [41:11]
B
And so you were the world indoor pole vaulting champion in 2023, which is amazing. And then you sprained your ankle. And we got involved with minions, and while we were at the olympics, I asked ChatGPT to draw this. And one of the really interesting parts of our journey was because I tend to be a bit Pollyannish, and you would tell me when you got angry at your ex or Team Canada or whatever, it's like, do you jump higher when you're angry, or do you jump higher when you're proving people wrong or proving people right?
- [42:01]
A
Yes.
- [42:01]
B
And the Pollyanna part of me wants you to jump higher when you prove people right.
- [42:06]
A
Yes.
- [42:06]
B
And then I got over myself and I went, oh, we should see.
- [42:10]
A
Let's just try it.
- [42:11]
B
We should just, this tournament, focus on proving people wrong, and this tournament pro focus on proving people right.
- [42:19]
A
Yes.
- [42:19]
B
And you jump higher when you're proving somebody wrong when you're angry. But then we married the images in EMDR where when you jumped higher, the people you were proven wrong blow up. It's like a reward in the stadiums. And the people you're proving right are sort of holding hands.
- [42:43]
A
Yeah.
- [42:43]
B
And the minions go grab the energy from the people who blew up.
- [42:49]
A
Yes. Well, and they. And we said, because I was shooting for the moon and hoping to land on stars. So the minions were collecting all the fuel of the people that blew up. And the fuel which was the people that were negative who didn't Believe in me. They were going to be my fuel to go to space. And that was like a really aha moment for us because it was like, how do I get to the top of the world? The highest I can possibly jump? And it was to fuel myself with the negatives. But then remember why I'm using it. It's to launch myself, to leave them behind.
- [43:22]
B
Right. So we had this balance, which is just a beautiful image.
- [43:28]
A
Yeah.
- [43:28]
B
And I remember when I showed it to you, said, I really like my butt.
- [43:32]
A
Yeah, you did. I was like, dang, that's awesome. We should post that.
- [43:37]
B
So this is two weeks before Paris. This is in London.
- [43:42]
A
Yes.
- [43:43]
B
And you sent me this. Plenty of experience.
- [43:45]
A
Was here in the World championships back in 2017.
- [43:49]
B
Finished seven, then it was 50. Doha, a couple years later with a headwind lifetime.
- [43:53]
A
This is the headwind.
- [43:55]
B
Came back in February. Oh, we should talk about the wind. Mixing it with the best. She was fourth in Monaco last week. Won the Canadian championships with 475. Just before that, here she goes. 475 here to take the lead.
- [44:10]
A
Oh, beautiful.
- [44:11]
B
Yeah, listen to that straight, too. She knows that match is the first time clearance is so important. That applies the pressure to Kennedy and Corduroy, who have yet to go at this height. And Moser as well. Mose, we know, was struggling.
- [44:26]
A
Only cleared for 65, third time.
- [44:28]
B
But Newman, well, I tell you what, even though she's been around a little while, Chris, she's a growing force in this discipline, isn't she?
- [44:36]
A
That's crazy.
- [44:37]
B
So proud of you. So going into the Olympics. Yeah.
- [44:42]
A
Yeah.
- [44:46]
B
You're just at the peak of where you've been.
- [44:49]
A
Yeah.
- [44:49]
B
Ever, really.
- [44:50]
A
I was hungry, too, because the girls had started competing in May and I didn't start training till June. And a lot of people don't know that. I actually. What? For some reason popped in my mind. But at Canadian Championships, which is the end of June, someone commented, oh, she's getting old. She has cellulite on her legs. And I was like, oh, my gosh, it's. But they're not wrong. I just wasn't in the shape I needed to be at that time. And it's an aha moment again, because I'm like, gosh, look at what I did in three months of prepping for an Olympic Games compared to, you know, I had no competitions in March, April or May. I couldn't run. And I had told competitions I was going to be ready in May, and I couldn't make it there because I couldn't Even get down the Runway without pain.
- [45:37]
B
Amazing. And then you mentioned you saw the headwind.
- [45:40]
A
Yes.
- [45:40]
B
And wind was a huge, huge obstacle, but also opportunity that we had to deal with because when pole vultures have headwinds, it's harder to jump.
- [45:55]
A
Well, you're.
- [45:56]
B
Sometimes the wind comes from the side and.
- [45:58]
A
Yeah. You know, sometimes turns anywhere. You know, it's. It's coming from the back on one jump or it comes headwind on the next jump. You know, so you're constantly adapting, adapting and you're trying to make movements on your step to be safe. So I think we came up with a pretty good strategy when it came.
- [46:15]
B
To headwinds that they actually became one of your competitive advantages.
- [46:19]
A
Yeah. It was a encouragement. It was. You got this. The wind's in your face. That means it's time to go. Yeah.
- [46:26]
B
And the other girls had to deal with it as well. And you're stronger.
- [46:30]
A
Yes.
- [46:31]
B
Because of what great shape you were in.
- [46:33]
A
Yeah.
- [46:34]
B
And then here it is. So the. We go to Paris and you had never qualified for a final.
- [46:42]
A
Never.
- [46:43]
B
And two nights before, we talk for like an hour and a half and. And you're worried about sleeping.
- [46:50]
A
Yeah.
- [46:51]
B
We did some exercises and you slept. But the night before, I had my phone turned off. I'm so mental. And the adrenaline got to you right away and you hardly slept 45 minutes.
- [47:06]
A
I think I slept that night. I actually took off my whoop because again, remember we were really focusing on the HRV and my sleep hours leading into that point. And I said, we're not looking at this stat, not today. And I think that's what's powerful. And I think that's what we have to also realize in life. Sometimes when you're sticking to this plan and things aren't going your way, it's okay to turn a bly eye to something that you're used to because you've prepped. I've prepped so many years for this moment that one bad night of sleep and this is what you said is not going to affect me. And then all of a sudden my family tapped into sending me the Kobe Bryant's and the Serena Williams and Michael.
- [47:50]
B
The nights before big events, they didn't sleep at all. And performed.
- [47:54]
A
Yeah.
- [47:55]
B
Magically.
- [47:56]
A
Yeah.
- [47:57]
B
And you performed in the qualifier like it was no problem at all to get to 455, which is.
- [48:05]
A
Yeah. Was the qualifying.
- [48:07]
B
There was a glitch in how they scored. And usually what, it's eight or 12 girls that make the final.
- [48:16]
A
Yep.
- [48:16]
B
And now all of a sudden, 20 girls are in the finals.
- [48:19]
A
In the finals. And we're like, this is the biggest final in history of not just the Olympics, of any competition. You are not usually allowed above 16 girls. And in normal competition it's 12. So.
- [48:33]
B
And we turn that into. This is your competitive advantage because you're in better shape than everyone.
- [48:39]
A
Yes.
- [48:39]
B
You're mentally strong.
- [48:41]
A
Eating the right food to keep my sugar up.
- [48:43]
B
Eating the right. Right. And it's the Olympics. You want it to last long.
- [48:50]
A
Yes.
- [48:50]
B
Right.
- [48:50]
A
I mean, be the last one standing.
- [48:52]
B
A high, a highlight in your life.
- [48:57]
A
Yes.
- [48:57]
B
Right. And actually went way faster because a lot of the girls just couldn't make.
- [49:02]
A
The height around 70. It started to seem there was about nine girls left around 70. And then I was actually in ninth because of my miss at 4:60. Um, and that, that was really a really cool time where I had to overcome because I just woke up on the Runway. I remember telling you, I'm like, I woke up on the Runway, like, what am I doing at my first attempt?
- [49:24]
B
All of your jumps were great except that one.
- [49:27]
A
Exactly.
- [49:27]
B
And it was like you spaced.
- [49:30]
A
Yeah, completely spaced. And I don't know if we call that stage fright. I don't know if we call it, you know, you just had a moment of like a hiccup. And those are moments you shouldn't be having at the highest level. But I think we were very, very quick to turn that around and realize it's okay because not 12 things have gone wrong. We're here, we have another attempt. That's why you got three attempts. So you just have to out jump every girl.
- [49:55]
B
Yeah. Hi, I'm Dr. Daniel Lehman. I've experienced firsthand the powerful impact that proper supplementation can have on your brain, your body and your mind. That's why I founded BrainMD. Our formulas are scientifically created from decades of clinical research designed to help you think clearer, feel better and improve every aspect of your health, whether it's brain and body power maximum. The same formula I used in the world's largest study of NFL players to optimize brain performance. To happy Saffron to boost mood and memory. And Pro Brain Biotics Max to improve the gut brain connection. BrainMD delivers the highest quality science backed solutions to help you think and feel better. Tana and I take many of our products every day. And as a special offer just for our listeners, you can save 20%. On your next order, visit BrainMD.com and use the code PODCAST20. With a better Brain always comes a better life. So here is the bronze medal Jump this year, outdoors.
- [51:24]
A
476. Her best, Alicia Newman into the stratosphere.
- [51:31]
B
Yes. Oh, what a jump.
- [51:33]
A
Newman at 485. Still my favorite. Still my favorite cup.
- [51:43]
B
This is in the Olympics.
- [51:46]
A
Yes.
- [51:46]
B
In the finals. Your personal best. I mean, just think about that. And you're really pushing.
- [51:56]
A
Yeah.
- [51:57]
B
Sandy and Katie, Nina and Nina. And you fake an injury and twerk. What was going on in your head?
- [52:11]
A
Well, I think at a point, like you say, you know, we work so hard. We've taken so, so many hours to get to this point. And there was before a heaviness when the Olympics came. Remember, we worked really, really hard on the word just Olympics. And I remember when I went in and I remember my interview after the qualifying, and I said, oh, now it's time to party. Like, now this is where we're going to have fun. And I think that that leading up to that jump, we were very. Everyone was on eggshells on the infield. We're all trying our best. We're out there competing at our best. And I. I need to let loose and to know that that was a Canadian record. So I'm the best I've ever been, was that moment. And it was like after 2019, since I've jumped higher, you know, outdoor season, and I'm like, gosh, let's have fun now. Like, why? You know, we put all this time and effort and stress into trying to be the best in the world at something. Let me just let it all out. And I think the fake injury was just because it's a symbol of mine. I've been through a lot of injuries, and I think still to this day, my coaches talk about they really thought I got hurt. And then to break into the dance is just me. You know, I could have done a twirl. I could have done a backflip. I could have done anything. And I think it was just. I actually felt like it was like a quicker way to get my celebration done so it didn't interfere with the other girls. And I think a lot of times you try to be respectful and that etiquette when it comes to pole vault. So it was felt like just the right amount of celebration to then, okay, what's next? But it was fun. And then from that moment, I think.
- [53:50]
B
I told you I have another famous patient who's famous for twerking, who, oh, by the way, won the Grammy for song of Year this year.
- [54:00]
A
She's incredible, too. She's amazing.
- [54:03]
B
So I don't know what's me and Twerking.
- [54:05]
A
Yeah. You bring a good twerk to us. We just can't handle it.
- [54:12]
B
So fun.
- [54:13]
A
Yeah.
- [54:16]
B
And is that the moment you knew you medal?
- [54:20]
A
No, because I think I was tied for third at that point. But to know, like, no one can get mad at you for doing your absolute best at the Olympic Games and coming fourth. Right. Like, to go to an Olympic games and say, I got fourth, I can't be mad. Like, I jumped the highest I've ever jumped ever in my career and again, broke another Canadian record. So I think it was a moment of relief for me that whatever happens from here on out, I am better than I was the day before or the previous 15 years of my career.
- [54:53]
B
Yeah. It's truly amazing. And then when you realized you got the medal.
- [54:58]
A
I realized it very quick. I mean, once Angelica missed her 490, I looked right up to you guys and coaches, and I just, like, actually, I thought I would have cried. I. You know, in your head, you have, like, how am I going to celebrate? Am I going to be emotional? What's going to happen? And I took a deep breath, and I was like, now, 4 90. Let's go. Next par. Let's go.
- [55:19]
B
Wow. And then I have these pictures of us.
- [55:21]
A
This is so. I'm so happy about it. Look how good we look in red, too, right?
- [55:27]
B
I know some of my American friends were like, why are you in red? Where's the red? White and blue.
- [55:34]
A
Just for Canadian. Just for women's pole vault.
- [55:39]
B
Men, there you on the podium.
- [55:42]
A
Yes, I. Yeah.
- [55:45]
B
Honored to share that medal with you. I got you this cool little present today, which is a necklace with the word courage. So talk about courage for a minute, people understand. The minions.
- [55:56]
A
Yeah, the minions were the cutest part. And then I read courage, and I. I'm like, it just. This is again, this is a moment that this word was so ingrained in me of being powerful and fierce and fearless. When you hear the word courage for me internally, it's like taking a leap of faith, letting the universe take its power and doing what it's supposed to do for you. And that is what changed my career this year, when I went to the new polls this year, because that was a huge thing, too. Brand new polls, brand new company. And I only jumped on them, like, a dozen times. And so I had to have something in my back pocket that gave me faith that it was going to be the right decision. And the word courage is what got me through the next pole, the next bar. Just the next bar. You know, those were words to me, that allowed me to have this hope that it was like I could achieve it.
- [56:50]
B
That was another thing we worked on is being present in the moment and not getting ahead of yourself.
- [56:57]
A
Yeah.
- [56:57]
B
And so we came up with what might be the title of your book, Just the Next Bar.
- [57:03]
A
And, well, I think that that was huge again, for me to be present. I'm naturally. I think, as females sometimes we're natural overthinkers. We're always thinking ahead. We have that mother intuition. We're always trying to prep for what could happen. A plan A or a plan B. And for me to go into the Olympics, I didn't want to have a plan B. I only wanted a plan A. And the plan A was to medal. And it was so important to me that I stayed present, because if I thought of a plan B, then you're allowing that thought to come in. And it's not a negative, and. But it's just, oh, well, plan A is to medal. Plan B is you're a Canadian record holder or Canadian record holder again, and you've jumped your personal best. That's still amazing. But you want plan A to work out. And so being present allowed me to just take one bar at a time and not worry about what happened on jumps before, not worry about what's going to happen, but how I can execute my best jumps every time down the Runway.
- [58:11]
B
And then early on, we developed our gold medal affirmation. And we worked hard on this on.
- [58:20]
A
My back screen for, I think it ended up being a year and a half. I read it every morning in my cold plunge.
- [58:29]
B
And so when you do an affirmation, write down what the goal is. And I am a world class, charismatic gold who will compete for an Olympic gold medal in 20. So rather than I will get it. It's like you just want to be there. I want to be there, which you totally.
- [58:48]
A
Yeah. And I'm going to compete. I'm going to compete and bring my best self forth.
- [58:51]
B
And then we have the value, the benefit. I enjoy the recognition and being one of the best pole vaulters in the world. And you said this. I love the hardware for the hard work.
- [59:01]
A
Yes. I, like, wanted that so bad.
- [59:04]
B
And you have the medal here somewhere.
- [59:06]
A
Where's the metal? Yeah, it's in my purse.
- [59:09]
B
We should show the medal.
- [59:10]
A
You can go in there. Yeah, Yeah, I think it's right here. I had to tuck it away. Yeah. Look how pretty this is. It's heavy, too. I always, like, drop it in people's hands. Their face is like, whoa, but isn't that cool? I love it.
- [59:28]
B
And then we had our plan, and this was purposeful. I am a flexible problem solver. Right. Because when I first met you, you weren't flexible.
- [59:37]
A
No. I wanted my way. My way only.
- [59:39]
B
And you get upset of things and go certain way, and I'm like, that's not gonna help you.
- [59:43]
A
Yeah.
- [59:44]
B
I'm a flexible problem solver who treats myself and others with kindness and grace. Because that's who you are at your core.
- [59:51]
A
Yes.
- [59:51]
B
When you're frustrated, you could be snappy.
- [59:54]
A
I was very snappy. Yeah.
- [59:56]
B
I don't get upset until the 12th thing has gone wrong. I always run my mental program before each jump. Record performance daily and rehearse the experience of being in the Olympics.
- [60:07]
A
Yeah.
- [60:07]
B
And run each jump flawlessly.
- [60:09]
A
Yes.
- [60:10]
B
So we had you make your highlight reel.
- [60:13]
A
Yes.
- [60:13]
B
And you watched it.
- [60:15]
A
It was.
- [60:15]
B
I want you to watch your failures. I want you to watch your successes. And there's so many. Yeah. Train five days a week, five hours a day. I do strength training on a regular basis. Take my supplements. I read my elite brain affirmation daily. And then you repeat the goal. I am world class, charismatic Paul Walter, who will compete for an Olympic gold medal in 2024. And you actualized it.
- [60:42]
A
Isn't that wild? And that's where we talk about the manifestation. You know, you can manifest all what you want to do in life, but I think it's so important to have a plan, a goal, and then actually live by it. What you believe every day is what you need to live by.
- [60:59]
B
And then we did another one right before the Olympics changed it just a little bit. We did a hypnotic meditation, a peak performance meditation.
- [61:10]
A
This was a very beautiful gift you gave me too, because this was amazing. Because I had a voiceover of you reading me one, and I would fall asleep to it every night. And because of you, we're here.
- [61:23]
B
I think this is so important and it's okay in your Olympic year to focus on yourself.
- [61:28]
A
It's like, that took a minute.
- [61:30]
B
This is okay.
- [61:31]
A
Yeah. I think when we laugh about it, I called it the selfish era. And it wasn't for to be mean or disrespectful to anybody, but it was, I'm going to come first above anyone that comes into my life. And it was a time I really needed to give myself the okay to be doing that. Some people I've lost friendships over, and some people I've strengthened because they're like, wow, you set a boundary. Like, that's incredible. Like, how do I Do that. And so it's been really fun for me to learn these boundaries when I want to accomplish something.
- [62:02]
B
You know, we teach people how to treat us by what we tolerate.
- [62:06]
A
Yes.
- [62:07]
B
Yeah.
- [62:07]
A
Yes.
- [62:08]
B
And we turn things around a lot. Like, if girls are negative, that's my competitive advantage. If the wind is strong, I'm strong. That's my competitive advantage. And then I remember Jake and his mom said, you're a lot, and that really upset you so bad. And then I told you this story about Chloe, my daughter, who is hostess at a restaurant. And these Russian guy comes up to her, is terribly rude. I want to see. And she goes, no, we. We don't have room for you. You have to sit and wait.
- [62:43]
A
Yeah.
- [62:44]
B
And in front of her manager, he said, she's a bitch.
- [62:48]
A
Yeah.
- [62:49]
B
And Chloe looked at the manager and said, he's not wrong and owned it.
- [62:57]
A
And that changed my life.
- [62:58]
B
And when somebody says, you're a lot, you are a lot.
- [63:02]
A
Yes. You're right. I am a lot. In the most beautiful way, because it's who I am.
- [63:06]
B
I did a podcast with this, Dennis Prager's group.
- [63:11]
A
Yes.
- [63:11]
B
And they sent out a reel. And she says to me, she says, many in the psychiatric community say you're dangerous. And I'm like, I am dangerous to them.
- [63:30]
A
Yeah.
- [63:30]
B
Be careful, because we're going to completely change the paradigm. So owning yes.
- [63:36]
A
Was a huge thing for me.
- [63:37]
B
Rather than getting hurt by it or defensive, offensive by it. The fact is, anybody that's going to be with you.
- [63:45]
A
Yes.
- [63:46]
B
They have to be strong.
- [63:48]
A
They have to be very mentally strong.
- [63:49]
B
Because you're never going to diminish your presence.
- [63:54]
A
Yes.
- [63:55]
B
To be with another person.
- [63:57]
A
Never. Because you just wouldn't be happy being someone you're not.
- [64:00]
B
You'll be miserable, and then you'll torture them.
- [64:03]
A
Yes. That's true. And then it wouldn't be good for either of us. That's actually so true.
- [64:09]
B
So you have goals for your relationships, for work. And I love this. Do my best is Olympic pole. Vulture with joy. Swagger.
- [64:18]
A
Yeah.
- [64:19]
B
Defying gravity.
- [64:22]
A
Open a clinic. Yes.
- [64:24]
B
But at the Olympics, in the most stressful time nearly in your life.
- [64:31]
A
Yeah.
- [64:32]
B
You're smiling, you're having fun, you're playing with the crowd. You know, at 490, you miss just by a little bit. When you landed on the mat, you go like this. People love.
- [64:45]
A
Yeah.
- [64:47]
B
You.
- [64:47]
A
Yeah.
- [64:48]
B
Because you brought your best self.
- [64:51]
A
Yeah.
- [64:52]
B
To that moment.
- [64:53]
A
And I think that's what was really cool. It wasn't. I wasn't like, acting. It was like, how I felt, because I was saying I hadn't watched the jump since because the broadcasting rights. You lose it in Europe. So I went home after the Olympics and I watched it, and I was like, oh, my gosh, Alicia, like, you are so, like, emotional everywhere, and it's just. It's so crazy that happened that way. I didn't realize how much reaction was on my face during. So happy competition.
- [65:23]
B
And then money.
- [65:25]
A
Yes.
- [65:26]
B
And physical. You want to live to 101.
- [65:29]
A
Yes.
- [65:29]
B
With your brain intact.
- [65:30]
A
Yes. 101 of them. Good.
- [65:33]
B
Emotional, have options and be positive, hopeful, graceful, peaceful.
- [65:39]
A
Yeah.
- [65:39]
B
And to forgive yourself.
- [65:41]
A
Yes.
- [65:42]
B
And being fulfilled and give back to others.
- [65:45]
A
Yeah. I felt like that was a big thing for me. Giving back, for some reason, really fills me in ways like pole vault fills me. And I think that that's a passion project of mine coming up. Obviously, building that facility is one of my key things I'm doing.
- [66:02]
B
So if you want to be. What is it? Happy for a day, go fishing.
- [66:07]
A
Yes.
- [66:08]
B
And be happy for a year. Win the lottery. If you want to be happy for a lifetime, help others.
- [66:13]
A
Yes. That kind of energy.
- [66:15]
B
So when I first saw you, I mean, obviously, long history of success in track and field. The concussion, the anxiety becoming unmanageable.
- [66:25]
A
Yeah.
- [66:27]
B
Neck pain, headaches.
- [66:28]
A
Yes. These are.
- [66:29]
B
Tried different antidepressants. Wellbutrin. Helpful.
- [66:33]
A
Yeah.
- [66:34]
B
Sertraline, Duloxetine, Trimipramine. None of them helpful. Yeah. Seeing a therapist. And trauma from a relationship in the past. Trauma from the Olympics. Light sensitive. So I picked up on the steeple before. And you were depressed. And if we look at scans. So here's healthy. Yeah. This outside surface on the left, active scan on the right. We look at yours, and your outside surface scan actually looked pretty good. A little bumpy, probably the alcohol. But your active scan is crazy on fire.
- [67:27]
A
Right.
- [67:27]
B
Especially right here, which is an area called the left insula and left temporal lobe. And it's one of the pain circuits. And you're a bit rigid and very anxious, and I'm like, oh, we have to calm that down. But when I saw that, I'm like, she has syndrome. And so we then scanned you again a couple of months later with using the lenses, and everything calmed down. Everything went a little too much. Everything was a walking zombie. But then here, I could see the concussion.
- [68:06]
A
Yes.
- [68:07]
B
That it affected both your temporal lobes. Now, since then, you've done hyperbaric oxygen. We've done 40 sessions of EMDR. You've eaten better. And here's your scan today.
- [68:22]
A
Wow.
- [68:23]
B
You have A beautiful brain. This spot, it's still there, but it's way less.
- [68:33]
A
Yeah. It doesn't matter.
- [68:35]
B
But I still think you probably should wear the glasses or figure out with.
- [68:41]
A
Helen, we need to find different clocks.
- [68:43]
B
How you can get contacts that actually work for you.
- [68:46]
A
Yeah.
- [68:47]
B
Because I think that might be a difference of 15 centimeters.
- [68:51]
A
I'll take it.
- [68:53]
B
And you know.
- [68:55]
A
Yes.
- [68:55]
B
That level pitch is one of the best of all time.
- [68:59]
A
Yep.
- [68:59]
B
Right.
- [69:00]
A
Yep.
- [69:01]
B
So. But I'm very happy we can look at how active it was.
- [69:08]
A
Yeah.
- [69:08]
B
The first time.
- [69:09]
A
Yeah. This is wild.
- [69:12]
B
And things are calmer.
- [69:15]
A
Yeah. Even the bumpy is wild.
- [69:18]
B
I still want you in the chamber some more.
- [69:20]
A
Yeah.
- [69:20]
B
This could be a little bit fuller.
- [69:23]
A
Yeah.
- [69:23]
B
Right. But your brain is clearly healthier going in the right direction.
- [69:32]
A
I love that.
- [69:32]
B
But I don't want you to think you're done. I want you to let go.
- [69:35]
A
I was going to ask you. That was my question. What's next for you and me?
- [69:41]
B
Oh, I think you're stuck with me for a while.
- [69:43]
A
Yeah.
- [69:44]
B
So I am so excited to keep working with you and to see you in Los Angeles.
- [69:50]
A
Yeah. So I told you, you're stuck with me for life.
- [69:55]
B
And one of your missions, your purpose, is to inspire the next generation. How can you do that?
- [70:07]
A
Well, I think the first thing, the first action is obviously leading and being what I've done, showing Canadian female pole vaulters that they can do it, too. I think that was my first step. I think now going into my second step is to live with an example by example. And that's for me to show all the athletes that it doesn't matter where you come from, you can accomplish these ultimate, highest goals that you ever have, which is most likely an Olympic medal. And then now providing a facility where they feel safe, they feel comfortable, where there is knowledgeable coaches and staff and people that are willing to help amateur athletes. This facility is going to be a gateway for them to get a head start on any athlete in the. In the world, because I'm the one that's going to be leading it. So I would say if there's something I could tell the younger self and I could tell the next generation of athletes is to always believe in their gut feeling, to always make sure they're protecting themselves. And at the end of the day, no, no goal is too big to accomplish.
- [71:18]
B
Thank you for watching. Please subscribe to the podcast. Leave us a great review if you loved it. Yes, we love your questions and you can follow Tana and I on social media. Tana, Amen. Or document on Instagram. Doc. Amen on TikTok. They can also follow you. Where can they follow you?
- [71:47]
A
Easy. Just add Alicia Newman. Very straightforward. Yep.
- [71:52]
B
Thanks, everybody.
- [71:53]
A
Thank you.