Loading summary
A
In the Bible, people celebrated by retelling what God had done for them. They did not celebrate by getting drunk. There is wine in Jesus terms, the water and wine.
B
But they talk frequently about not being drunk.
A
Why do you think we evolved to celebrate with things that hurt us?
B
Well, I think a lot of it has to do with marketing.
A
Today, Dr. Amen and Tana discuss how.
B
You can mold healthy partying habits. We are creatures of abundance. We don't really do well when we think about deprivation. So one of the things that I adopted when I was teaching classes and writing and wrote the Omni Diet and the Brain warriors way was replace, don't erase. Because if you feel like you're erasing something, you are automatically only be thinking about the thing you're missing. But if you replace it rather than erase it, you come up with a new tradition.
C
Every day.
A
You are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better every day. There are days when I need to be at my best. Whether it's back to back clinic sessions, long writing days, or just keeping up with life. That's when I take peak energy from Brain md. It gives me clean, steady energy without jitters or crashes. And I'm not the only one who loves it. It just won a 2025 Nextie Award, beating over 500 other supplements. If you want real energy that lasts, check it out@brainmd.com and use the code podcast. 20 for 20% off. Today we're going to talk about parties. Welcome to Change youe Brain. Every day I am here with my favorite party animal. We just had a spectacular party for my mother's 94th birthday party and everybody loved it. And there was not one unhealthy thing at the party. And you were amazing and how you set it up. And my mom was the belle of the ball.
B
She had such a good time and.
A
She had such a good time. But we have been trained to celebrate with things that hurt us and it's possible to not do that.
B
Yeah, I think when we first started doing this, I felt more, a little bit more like the food police. And I don't feel like the food police anymore. I feel like now I'm at a stage where it's like I want to provide things that are healthier options and show people that it can be fun. I think being the food police for me just makes it not fun for people. So providing those healthier options and people go, whoa, that was really yummy. It was. We Ran out of food. We had food for like a feast. Like, it was crazy how much food we had. Even the desserts were healthy. And I think that's. That's what I think is. Is for me, what feels better is providing the things and watching people go, wow, this is awesome. And being surprised that it's actually healthy and seeing them have a good time.
A
I think virtually everything came out of the Brain Warriors Way cookbook from the lemon bar.
B
Yeah.
A
The dessert, which we had for dessert.
B
A lot of fresh fruit. Yeah.
A
The lamb chops, the chicken, and if you love lamb. I love lamb. Being Lebanese, so I grew up with eating a lot of lamb. Did you grow up with eating.
B
Well, I grew up eating raw lamb. That's sort of.
A
Because your grandmothers from Lebanon. And Tana's recipe for the lamb chops is the best ever. And as Tana knows.
B
And we had vegan options, and it. You know, we had the red, white, and blue salad and lots of grilled veggies and. But it's way. The way you place it. No, it's the way you spice it. It's the way you rehab recipes that make it to where people want to have them. Yeah.
A
Even the birthday cake was healthy.
B
Yeah.
A
And basically it was put together with fruit.
B
Yeah. Was so pretty.
A
And nobody complained. Nobody was unhappy.
B
No.
A
And when I first started getting healthy, I just started looking around and I realized so much of celebration creates illness.
B
Yeah.
A
And when I turned 52, so I'd already been into health for a while, so I had two birthday cakes, and I looked at one of the people, and I'm like, you don't want me to be 53, do you? So why do you think we evolved to celebrate with things that hurt us?
B
Well, I think a lot of it has to do with marketing. So, I mean, a lot of it has to do just with. That's that simple. It's marketing. Because, you know, you look at the food industry or you look at the marketing industry, and they're promoting things. You know, it's that industry. Sugar, fat, flour. It's just. That's the way it is. You know, alcohol, all of those things are. They're just masterful at promoting those items. Candy. I think also, though, we should take a step back and go, when someone used to make a birthday cake, you know, you look at 60 years ago when your grandmother made a birthday cake, it wasn't like buying cakes today. It was very different. The ingredients were very different. You look at how even how farming has evolved and what we've been doing to the food over the past 60, 70 years. You know, it's even, that has changed. So if you're going to eat the sugar and the stuff that's in the cake, at least it was a healthier version of it when it was not as adulterated, when the, when the, the flowers and the other ingredients weren't as adult. Now it's just. What even is it? I don't even know what it is.
A
40% more gluten.
B
It's crazy. There's 14 different types of, of, of proteins, new proteins, and it's just in wheat. It's crazy. So the things you're eating are not the things they used to be. And I think that that's a really important thing. Even. That's why people always say when they go to Europe, they feel different when they eat pasta than they do when they're here. Because when you add all these extra ingredients and you add, you know, it's, they're, they're no longer organic. They are, they've got pesticides and chemicals and hormones and now it's not the same thing it used to be. So I, I do think it's really important to state that because, you know, people are going to get all upset and they're like, well, my grandmother's cake. But your grandmother's cake isn't your grandmother's cake anymore. So it, it's just an important side note.
A
One very exciting thing for 2026 is we're going to release the amen whole four, which is a program initially done in churches, but we're also going to do versions for communities and other faiths. And so part of the amen whole four, in fact, the last of the 18 weeks is on celebration and how to have breakfast brain healthy celebrations. And so I look through the Bible and go, well, how did they celebrate in the Bible? So feasts and shared meals. Celebrations usually happened around food. And it was food fellowships, gratitude. So the Passover, for example, and Exodus 12. Remembering Rescue and freedom and being grateful.
B
Right.
A
For it. There's something called the feast of the Tabernacles in Leviticus celebrating God's provision in the wilderness. Sabbath meals, weekly rest and reconnection. So meals were spiritual. Eating together symbolized belonging and blessing. And you often talk about Rhodes scholars and what they have in common.
B
Yeah, they had dinner together every night and they read to their kids every night. And I thought that was. And that's when I'm like, we were going to eat together every night and I'm reading to my child until she kicked me out of a room at 12. Like, she was like 11 or 12. She's like, we're done. But I want to touch on something you just said, because I always thought this was really interesting. I always thought it was so interesting, especially in the Old Testament, the Bible was so clear on how we should be eating. And I was always like, why? Why do they need to be so clear on how we should be eating? Right? There was very specific ways that we should be eating and honoring our bodies and honoring God. And I always thought that was very interesting because from the beginning of time, there was also abusing our bodies with parties and food, right? There was always both sides. And I always thought it was so interesting that there was a very clear outline of what. What was honoring of our bodies into God. And because we've always abused it from the beginning of time.
A
Well, and The Amen whole 4 is based on the book of Romans, chapter 12, verse 1 and 2. Offer your body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God. That is your true worship.
B
Right?
A
So.
B
But it wouldn't have had to be in there if we didn't also have the other side. If you think of, you know, the Romans that had vomitoriums, they ate, they gorged until they made themselves throw up. But it's very clear that is not what honors our bodies and honors God.
A
Also part of parties, singing, music, and dancing. So worship through emotion and movement was normal and healthy. So Miriam led women with tambourines after crossing the Red sea. In Exodus 15, David danced, danced with all of his might to the Lord. And if you read the Psalms, I was actually texting my friend Jonathan Cain, who's in the band Journey. I'm like, these are all songs. And he's like, and isn't it interesting.
B
If you think about today, we know about how certain things help to lower cortisol and help to elevate, you know, our mood and help to make us happier. I mean, it's just so interesting to me.
A
So music meant to elevate the heart, not escape from it. And one of the big things at the party was music. It's like, what music does she love?
B
We put together her favorite music from.
A
Frank Sinatra and Elvis and Doris Day.
B
And.
A
Okay, so in the Bible, feasts and shared meals, singing, dancing, music, storytelling, people celebrated by retelling what God had done for them. Parents told their children, this is why we remember testimony was celebration. And there was so much of that for my mom because she was a great mom.
B
Oh, yeah, I was. I was Looking around that party so we didn't invite as many people as showed up. Not even close like a lot more show Usually it's the other way around. Right? Usually there's like a what 20% attrition rate no, no, no. Probably 20% more showed up and that's a testament to her life is that's very classic of your part of celebrating.
A
Is just telling stories. Although stories is double edged I figured out why the holidays are so stressful.
B
Because is your least favorite thing.
A
Oh my goodness. They still talk about how you lit.
B
The couch on fire lit the couch.
A
On fire when I was five years old and no one's going why does a five year old child have matches? So storytelling could go both ways giving.
B
But it's very entertaining for everyone else.
A
And sharing Celebration always involves generosity, especially toward the poor. No one was to appear before the Lord empty handed. God told them to invite the stranger and there were strangers that showed up.
B
Party.
A
Celebration was incomplete unless everybody was included. And rest now. We needed to rest afterwards. Celebration meant renewal, not exhaustion. Sabbath stop, breathe, restore. Rest itself isn't is a commandment. God rested on the seventh day. Boy did I need rest day holy. They didn't celebrate by burning out, but by being restored.
B
I think it's really important. Gratitude and prayer I think are a big part of celebrating. And people were very known for thanking God for harvests and victories and healing for everything. For families, for life itself, for birth even for remembering people in death for everything. Gratitude was always at the center and gratitude is healing.
A
Yeah we we know that from a neuroscience perspective when you focus on what you're grateful for, when you focus on what you love, it just happier. The parties weren't gossiping right Complaining now what they did not use to celebrate and this is so important, they did not celebrate by getting drunk to escape. In fact, when they did get drunk, the first story in the Bible of someone getting drunk was Noah after the flood.
B
And what caused all kinds of trouble.
A
He had PTSD after the flood, but he planted a vineyard, got drunk. His son found him naked. We don't know quite what happened, but then there was a generational rift and both of us have seen in our families that alcohol devastates people's lives. Now to be fair, there is wine and Jesus turned the water.
B
But they're not frequently about not being drunk.
A
It's not the same wine that is today. They think probably it was about a third of the alcohol content.
B
And regardless, it frequently warns against being.
A
Drunk over and over and over again. So they didn't use substances to numb their pain. Overeating was not what they did. And they didn't isolate from their community. So celebrations were healing, meant to be healing, not harmful biblical celebrations.
B
They, you just said they're meant to remember goodness and gratitude, strengthen connections, family connections, restore joy. I think that's a big part of it. And through different vehicles like music and meals and prayer and generosity and storytelling and than resting.
A
Did you know that physical and emotional pain run on the same circuits in the brain and they fuel each other to keep you in pain. In my new book, Change youe Brain, Change youe Pain, I'll show you how to break free from what I call the doom loop and step into a healing loop that can transform your life. Life.
C
Less pain, more joy.
A
It's absolutely possible. Pre order my new book now and receive special bonus gifts at Change your brain changeyourpainbook.com so we're going to give you 14 brain healthy ways to celebrate. And it's mindset. Mindset is so, so important because whenever you go, oh, I can't have this and I can't have that, you lose. As opposed to, I get to have this, I get to have that. So celebration mindset. This is about abundance, not deprivation. One of my friends who after he and I worked together, he, he said, I wake up 100 every day. I said, why? He said, I stopped drinking. So why would you engage in something that ruins tomorrow?
B
Well, and, and we are, we are creatures of abundance. We don't really do well when we think about deprivation. So one of the things that I adopted when I was teaching classes and writing and wrote the Omni Diet and the Brain warriors way was replace, don't erase. Because if you feel like you're erasing something, you are automatically not going to. You're, you're going to only be thinking about the thing you're missing. But if you replace it rather than erase it, and you come up with a new, say, tradition, you come up with a new way of doing things. So you take that glass of wine out, but you either have a say, you have an alcohol free sparkling wine that you have, or you have hot chocolate every night or you have a special tea that you make, the process of making it and the process of doing that with your family becomes your new tradition. So you're replacing, not erasing or like all the recipes that I came up with for desserts, those are recipe rehabs, right? Those are replacing, not erasing. The minute you think I have to erase, you're like Now I want it, but if you get to replace it.
A
Well, everything in moderation, which is the gateway thought to cheating. As soon as you say everything, really.
B
Good at helping your frontal lobes with that. I was going to say things in moderation, like cocaine and affairs in moderation. It's not really going to work out well, so. Especially if you're married to me.
A
All right. So Joy doesn't need alcohol and sugar. Celebrate. Celebrate with what gives you life, not steals with it. Real celebration fuels healing. And when brains are better, celebrations are, too. Like, the police didn't come to our house during the party, but when there's alcohol involved, the police are dramatically.
B
Oh, no, I. Yeah. I mean, I could give examples of some of the parties we've been to just with some of our neighbors, and they're crazy. They're crazy parties.
A
Yeah. So this is celebrating with intention, not poison.
B
Yeah.
A
Honor victories in ways that strengthen, not weaken your future.
B
Yeah.
A
You deserve new rituals. Create celebrations that align with who you are becoming.
B
So we are creatures of habit. I think it's really important for people to realize if you've been doing something, you are a creature of habit, you're likely to keep doing that thing. But we are not. We're not animals. I mean, we are in a way, but we're not. So you can change that with intention. If you intentionally create a new habit and a new tradition, you. Why are you looking at me like that?
A
I'm just growling because you said we are animals and I'm with you, so it makes sense.
B
Like, in a sense, we are, but. But we can create new traditions. You just have to be intentional about it and, you know, catch yourself notice when you are slipping back into your old habits.
A
And what's the goal?
B
Right.
A
The goal is to celebrate, not to have to rehabilitate.
B
Right. So number two is we make brain healthy meals together. And we did this a lot when Chloe was young and now my daughter. I was so proud of her. She had us over for her first Christmas Eve that she cooked and she had her house. And she is such a good cook. I mean, here I've written 10 cookbooks, and she's way better at cooking than I ever was. But that's.
A
Well, most people don't know that when I met you, you couldn't cook. In fact, I prayed you wouldn't cook.
B
You just love telling this story.
A
I could not cook because that was not modeled for you.
B
No. Right. No at all. My mom said, be the dish. You don't have to make a dish. So she Said, find one room and find one room in the house to cook in, and it doesn't have to be the kitch. So I was not taught how to cook.
A
But you took that and you changed.
B
Yeah, because I wanted to be healthy because I wasn't healthy. I had cancer. I was not a healthy child. I was, like, constantly in the hospital. I had 10 medical surgeries. So when I had a child, I realized this is not going to just change itself. Like, if I don't want my child growing up unhealthy, eating, you know, Frosted Flakes, you know, Lucky Charms and. And whatever, Captain Crunch, then I have to. I have to be the one to learn and teach her. And it wasn't easy for me. And I never loved.
A
I'm just so proud of you.
B
Thank you. But she is an awesome cook because we cooked together. She's way better than I am, and.
A
It'S an act of love, cooking with your children.
B
Yeah. And we just made it fun. We tried to make it fun, not like it wasn't a joke.
A
My favorite stories, when I told her after we went on a hike and she was winded and. But she was just. I'm like, you're just a tough cookie. And she goes, I don't want to be a tough cookie. I want to be a tough red bell pepper.
B
And she was seven. I remember that.
A
So making brain Healthy meals together create foods you love that love you back, and get everyone's idea for Bright Minds foods. So if you listen to this podcast, you know, Bright Minds, you want to keep your brain healthy or rescue it. You have to prevent or treat the 11 major risk factors. And I have this rule. I only want to spend money on foods that serve health rather than steal it. When we did the Daniel Planet Saddleback Church, Pastor Warren and I got into a big fight because I'm like, you need to get rid of the donuts. And he's like, but we were raised on donuts. And I'm like, if you're raised cocaine, it still has to go. And he's like. And just like you said, he said, I don't want to be the food police or I don't want to be a food Nazi.
B
But he was buying it. That's different.
A
I'm like, just don't spend money right. On things that hurt the people you love.
B
So let me make a clear distinction here, because this is really important. This is what we did in our house when we wanted to, you know, cut out certain things. I don't like being the food police. And I'm not going to be. It's just not my role. I don't. It's not what I want to do. But I get to choose what I spend money on. I get to choose what I serve. I get to choose what I spend money on, what I put in my house. I'm not going to tell other people what to spend their money on. Even the kids if like if they have at a certain age when they were old enough. If you have allowance and you spend it when you're out with your friends on a piece of pizza or whatever. I don't really. I'm not going to stop you from doing that. But don't ask me to do it or to put it in the house because I'm going to put healthy things in the house. But I think by modeling that and not being the food police it eventually they start making those choices themselves. The difference was he was actually spending the money on it. And that's what frustrated you. So that's more food policy is when you are telling other people what to spend their money on.
A
Celebration mindset. Cook together, make healthy meals. Brain Healthy meals together. Brainstorm and bring Brain Healthy desserts. And it's like, well what, what can you do? And you know, we had this amazing birthday cake made out of fruit.
B
Right. We have lemon bars that are healthy, no sugar.
A
So good.
B
Gluten free, sugar free, dairy free.
A
We had big pictures of Brain Healthy hot chocolate and we've talked on the podcast about the hot chocolate recipe which is raw cacao, unsweetened almond milk and a little bit of stevia.
B
Yeah.
A
Nutty buttercups which you created, which basically Reese's peanut butter cups that are healthy.
B
Right.
A
Use Brain MD chocolate and some almond butter. A little bit of almond butter.
B
So they're so easy. Yeah.
A
And dark chocolate because it's good for you. It's just the other stuff they put in it. That's not. Which is why Brain MD makes Brain Healthy Chocolate.
B
Right. So we always take a dessert with us if we go to family events and things like that. I'll take something healthy, we'll take something with us. And this is not only sends a good message but it gives us something to eat usually. But let's just say there's homemade baklava there. I want to put a side note in here. There's the homemade baklava. There's something else going on. And yeah, I love it when my mother in law and all the women get together and make it. And so I do have a three Bite rule. It's like, I'm not never going to eat any of those things. Like, I'm not a 100% person, but if I do 90, 95%, I'm feeling pretty good. But if they make the homemade baklava or they make something that I want to have a bite of, I have a three bite rule. It's like, I don't feel bad because that's not enough to trigger that inflammation. And that addictive side of my personality where you'll find me in the corner, like licking frosting off of wax paper. Right. It's just. It's just enough and it's enough. So it's just that, like, okay, I can enjoy it and then set it aside so you don't have to have the whole thing.
A
So here's a picture of Louis. Louie is one of our grandchildren. And avocado gelato.
B
Yeah.
A
And one of my other grandbabies was very picky.
B
Yeah.
A
Wouldn't eat anything like nine months.
B
They couldn't put weight on him.
A
And you gave him a little taste of it, and pretty soon it was just everywhere, all over his face. Now, is avocado gelato hard to make?
B
So easy to make. It's so easy to make.
A
What's in it?
B
It's avocados. So the original recipe would call for some honey. So I cut that way back, added some stevia. It's coconut and a little bit of almond milk. And it's. Or coconut milk and some cacao. It's like so simple.
A
So it's like three or four ingredients. Avocados, raw cacao, coconut milk.
B
Coconut. Coconut and like coconut meat and then some. Yeah. And if you can't do coconut meat, do some coconut butter. But coconut meat is the best.
A
Wow.
B
So number four is mindful mocktail bar. So you can just set out some water with fruit essences or sparkling water with some fruit slices. Mint, watermelon, refreshers. There's all kinds. Just be creative. Like throw some different types of whatever the season is. Throw some fresh fruit into some water. It's beautiful. Green tea over ice. Or ginger, turmeric, tonic. I actually like throwing spices into mine or some herbs. Herbal tea party brain Healthy smoothies and mocktails with Stevie.
A
So you know what this reminds me of? Like, if you put. Get sparkling water and just put some watermelon slices in it.
B
Yeah.
A
It reminds me of the four seasons in Maui.
B
It's like spa water.
A
So it's like. And like, if you've ever gone to a nice resort, they always have Water, but with fresh food.
B
So do you remember the party we had where we had the big water containers and I had one of them had like cucumber and watermelon. Then another one had like berries in it, and then another one had like, like lemon slices and lime. And so we had three different types of water that we served. But they were so popular. People loved it.
A
And people loved it. So inexpensive, but cool. Because the association in your head is, oh, I'm at an expensive resort.
B
So we found a sparkling wine this summer. Remember we were somewhere. But it was a non alcoholic sparkling wine. And I was like, it was amazing. Because it wasn't all sugar. Usually mocktails.
A
If you order them, it was low in sugar.
B
Very low. Was like 2 grams. Which is crazy for a non alcoholic wine. Usually mocktails are just full of sugar. So I ordered tons of it to give out as gifts. Like, it's amazing. So sometimes when we have parties, we'll put that out as well. Cause those actually taste pretty good. And if they don't have a lot of sugar, it actually tastes more like the, like the natural wine.
A
Celebrate with dancing by yourself in a group. Movement increases blood flow, dopamine. And if you do it with a partner, it increases oxytocin and is a stress reliever. Now if you drink when you dance, it completely ruins the benefit. And if you need alcohol to loosen up, then pay attention to us. We talk about diaphragmatic breathing, killing the ants, or even a little bit of theanine. And gaba will chill you out.
B
Oh, you mean like when you try to get me stoned? Yeah, yeah.
A
So you had taken what, three gaba?
B
I called you and asked you, how many of these should I take? You weren't paying attention or something. You go, oh, you could take four of each. I might. You got home from work and I'm like on the couch, like completely stoned. I couldn't even wake up.
A
So we're talking about thinning gummies and gaba calming.
B
You got me stoned.
A
I was like, if you need something to chill out, brain MD has you covered.
B
Praise number six is praise and gratitude or maybe a walk in nature. Combine movement with mindfulness. So walking outdoors, especially near water or trees, been shown to lower cortisol. Improves memory. Walk with wonder. Just sort of pay attention. There's a walking meditation that I love where you actually name the things that you are looking at. And if you just do that for about 10 minutes, it sounds weird at first, but pretty soon you actually find yourself being very mindful of what you're paying attention to, of what you're noticing.
A
Actually research. It's. And it's called narration.
B
Yeah.
A
Where you. When you narrate your day or you narrate the walk, it calms an area of the brain called the default mode network, the little chatterbox in your head, which is the same area that gets calm when you do magic mushrooms. And so I'm like, not a huge fan of magic mushrooms, but I'm a huge fan of calming that area with meditation and narration. Which you just described.
B
Yeah. If you just name like leaf, flower, whatever. At first I thought it sounded silly, but pretty soon I realized, oh, I'm actually pretty present right now.
A
And that's the ultimate goal.
B
Yeah.
A
7. Music, singing, worship. Especially focused on gratitude, working on your breath. So music is so important.
B
Yeah. You just. I mean, you don't really want to hear me sing, so I do it when I'm in the shower.
A
Because you never sing.
B
Yeah, because there's one issue for that. Number eight is games. Oh, boy. At our parties, there's always lots of games. So there's basketball, there's ping pong, there's. Everyone's always playing games. So table tennis, pickleball, basketball, board games, playing cards. We've got all of it usually going on. Your mom is a shark. She beats everyone.
A
I know. 94, sharper than ever.
B
She doesn't let anyone win.
A
You want to create together. So art and stories for inspiration. Share stories of how God has led you even through hard times.
B
I think especially it's important.
A
One exercise I love for celebration is the one page Miracle vision board. We're going to do a whole podcast on the one page miracle. But it's really visualizing what you want. But in a party, you're sharing that with the people who are close to you.
B
So we did this for a long time. Every New Year's Eve, you and I would just literally sit and talk about what it is that we want for the next year. And I like that. I like that a lot. When we just like. Because what happens is it makes it intentional and you speak it out loud and it's balance.
A
It's not, oh, I want to lose 10 pounds that by January 15th, you've forgotten that most people do.
B
By the second week of January, most people have let go of their resolution.
A
I like laughing parties, sharing times you laughed out loud. So watching comedies together, sometimes even hiring a comedian or magician at our Christmas party for the clinic. Actually, someone who works in our care center is a magician. So it was Great fun telling jokes, humor and laughter. Boost endorphins, lower stress, help your immunity.
B
I think this last party, seeing the little kids boop the dog in the nose, they were just cracking up. Remember that? It was so cute. So the dogs created lots of laughter. Number 12 is service parties. So serve as an expression of faith in action. Volunteering together. So there are so many things you can do. Altruistic activities. These are the brain's rewards. Increasing happiness. And it connects you to a deeper sense of purpose when you serve. So I've often told people that if you are feeling sorry for yourself or you're feeling depressed, fastest way to pull yourself out of it is to go help someone who is suffering more than you are.
A
13. Create memory video collages so my nephew created a collage for my mom and we've often done that for her in the past because I've pictures ever since she was a small child, which is so much fun. It's really triggering beautiful moments. And the last one is going to sound super weird, but I actually created this when your mom died. And it's rather than, you know, celebrations of life. Right. Or funerals. Well, we created the anti funeral. So rather than a stodgy, inauthentic praise.
B
For the departed, it sounds, it feels a little irreverent at first.
A
Share with stories about them what was good. I mean, my mom was crazy and she was beautiful.
B
I mean she was very faith filled but she was also kind of a badass and a bit crazy. So it was a little twisted. But yeah, it was funny.
A
So share even the hard things from a place of love and remembrance. So the anti funeral.
B
Yeah, I wasn't sure I felt about it when you first started doing this.
A
Let's tell the truth about this redhead. She was pretty wacky, you know. Our goal is for you to know there are options on how to party. And we want you to party in a way that you feel better the next day, that you celebrate with intention and love rather than oh well, this is how we've always done it. Which has led to trouble.
B
One of the things you've often said from the time I met you and we were dating and I always loved this was whenever I was struggling with something or an idea or a thought or you know, something I should be doing, you always would say we get to create the life we want and it's, it's true. But most people forget that and you just would always bring that back into focus. And we've actually lived that way. I mean sometimes I feel like our life gets pretty crazy, but we get to. It's fun and we get to create that life. And we just have to remember to keep it grounded.
A
And never let your family of origin ruin the family you're creating.
B
Right.
A
That you get to create it. When we went over Chloe's house.
B
She.
A
And Sal are creating their future and we want them to do it. It's like, what rituals do you want as opposed to you need to do our rituals.
C
Are you a doctor or mental health professional who's tired of one size fits all care? Are you passionate about helping people people heal the root causes of their issues, but frustrated by the limitations of standard care? What if you didn't have to guess what's going on with your patients because.
A
You could see it?
C
At Amen Clinics, we do psychiatry differently. We use brain imaging to improve diagnoses and guide personalized treatment because mental health is really brain health. If you're ready to be a leader in the future of mental health care, we're looking for you. When you join Amen clinics, you don't just make a difference, you own it. With our employee stock option plan, you become an owner in the mission, a stake in every life we change. This is your invitation to be a healer, a brain health warrior, a pioneer. Join us. Let's end mental illness by creating a revolution in brain health together.
A
Leave us a comment, question or review. We know you're going to have lots of thoughts on this one. You can celebrate in a way that extends your life because I desperately want my mother to be 95 so we can have her 95th party. And I want to be 72. So what?
B
No, you better be older than 72.
A
I want to keep it going so we can do the work we love to do. You're listening to change your brain every day.
Hosts: Dr. Daniel Amen & Tana Amen
Date: January 12, 2026
This episode centers on rethinking the way we celebrate and party, focusing on adopting an alcohol-free, brain-healthy lifestyle in 2026. Dr. Daniel and Tana Amen challenge longstanding traditions that equate celebration with unhealthy behaviors like drinking and overeating, and instead share practical, joyful, and restorative ways to enjoy milestones and gatherings. Drawing from faith traditions, neuroscience, and their own personal experiences, the Amens provide listeners with actionable strategies to cultivate new habits and rituals that nurture both brain and body.
“Why do you think we evolved to celebrate with things that hurt us?” — Dr. Amen (00:13)
“Your grandmother’s cake isn’t your grandmother’s cake anymore.” — Tana Amen (06:44)
“We had food for like a feast … even the desserts were healthy … and people were surprised that it’s actually healthy.” — Tana Amen (02:48)
“When you replace it rather than erase it, you come up with a new tradition.” — Tana Amen (00:21, 17:42)
“Whenever you go, ‘Oh, I can’t have this and I can’t have that,’ you lose. As opposed to, ‘I get to have this, I get to have that.’” — Dr. Amen (16:38)
“It’s not the same wine that is today. They think probably it was about a third of the alcohol content.” — Dr. Amen (15:14)
“Celebrate with what gives you life, not steals with it.” — Dr. Amen (19:03)
(16:35–35:48)
“It’s an act of love, cooking with your children.” — Dr. Amen (22:16)
“It reminds me of the Four Seasons in Maui … spa water.” — Dr. Amen (28:16)
“Gratitude is healing.” — Tana Amen (13:32)
“Never let your family of origin ruin the family you’re creating.” — Dr. Amen (37:08) “We get to create the life we want.” — Tana Amen (36:34)
“You are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better every day.” — Dr. Amen (00:49)
“Joy doesn’t need alcohol and sugar. Celebrate with what gives you life, not steals with it. Real celebration fuels healing. And when brains are better, celebrations are, too.” — Dr. Amen (19:03)
“We are creatures of abundance. We don’t really do well when we think about deprivation … replace, don’t erase.” — Tana Amen (17:42)
“Never let your family of origin ruin the family you’re creating.” — Dr. Amen (37:08)
“Honor victories in ways that strengthen, not weaken your future.” — Dr. Amen (19:42) “You deserve new rituals. Create celebrations that align with who you are becoming.” — Dr. Amen (19:49)
“If they make the homemade baklava or they make something that I want to have a bite of, I have a three-bite rule… that’s not enough to trigger that inflammation and that addictive side of my personality.” — Tana Amen (25:46)
The episode is warm, conversational, and practical—gentle in its challenges, encouraging in its advice. Dr. Amen and Tana mix neuroscience, personal anecdotes, and even humor (like Tana’s “three-bite rule” and Dr. Amen’s references to the police not being called to their parties) to keep the discussion accessible and motivating. Their underlying message: with intention and creativity, anyone can reshape their traditions into celebrations that heal, connect, and energize.
Recommended Actions: