Has Stress Taken Over Your Life? Try This Exercise

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Has Stress Taken Over Your Life? Try This Exercise"

Podcast: Change Your Brain Every Day
Hosts: Dr. Daniel Amen (A) & Tana Amen (B)
Date: January 6, 2026

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Main Theme & Purpose

This episode focuses on understanding and managing stress from both a personal and psychological standpoint. Dr. Daniel and Tana Amen share intimate stories of loss, illness, and adversity, demonstrating that even mental health professionals are not immune to life's challenges. Through this candid discussion, they present actionable strategies—especially the "Fork in the Road" exercise—to empower listeners to reclaim agency over their stress responses, rebuild resilience, and actively shape a more fulfilling life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Personal Stories—Humanizing Stress

• Shared Vulnerability:
  Both hosts recount pivotal life experiences shaped by grief, illness, and emotional struggle, aiming to connect with listeners on a human level.

  • Daniel discusses the impact of his grandfather’s death and the persistent sadness it brought, connecting his personal history to insights in psychiatry.
  • Tana details her early battle with cancer, subsequent depression, and the transformative impact of guided mindset shifts.

• Quote:

  • “Everybody struggles with stress at some point, and these are some of the strategies we've used to overcome, and we like to teach these strategies.” – Tana (B) [00:28]

2. The Brain’s Response to Stress, Loss, and Grief

• Daniel’s Story of Loss:
  Daniel recalls losing his grandfather, whom he was named after and extremely close to, during medical school. The segment is rich with reflection on the interplay between heartbreak and clinical depression post-heart attack, an experience he now relates to patients.

  • “Sixty percent of people who have a heart attack will develop a major depression or within the next eighteen months. And people really weren't paying attention to that.” – Daniel (A) [01:28]
  • He discusses anchoring his soul in joyful memories and using sadness to fuel deeper connections, especially now as a grandfather.

• Coping Mechanisms:
  Daniel highlights the importance of focusing on positive memories, channeling grief constructively, and recognizing how personal experience informs professional empathy.

3. Resilience Through Responsibility and Visualization

• Tana’s Transformative Exercises:
  Tana describes two critical exercises that helped her take back control:
  • Exercise 1: Taking Responsibility
    Through a wise mentor’s intervention, she reframed responsibility to mean “the ability to respond” rather than accepting blame.
    • “The word responsibility means the ability to respond – doesn’t mean you have to take blame.” – Tana (B) [05:18]
    • Resolving to take 100% responsibility for her life gave her a sense of agency and dissolved the victim mentality.
  • Exercise 2: The Fork in the Road
    In a meditative and detailed journaling practice, Tana imagined her life trajectory under two scenarios: staying the same vs. actively changing habits. This visualization was powerful in motivating her to choose the “brain warrior” path.

4. Actionable Takeaways: The Fork in the Road Exercise

• How-To Steps [08:37]:

  1. Pause and reflect on your current life situation, meditating or journaling as preferred.
  2. Imagine one path where you change nothing—detail where you’d be in 6 months, 1 year, 5, 10, and 20 years: finances, relationships, health, etc.
  3. Notice your emotional reaction to this vision.
  4. Return to the present and visualize the road if you become proactive—start small, make healthy changes, and enact the tools taught in the podcast.
  5. Again, project those future milestones with specifics.
  6. Compare feelings between the two, and choose to pursue the “brain warrior’s way.”

• Hosts encourage listeners to share their experiences with this exercise in the comments, fostering community and accountability.

• Quote:

  • “If you make those changes, notice where you'll be 20 years from now. Do that and leave it. Post it for us down below.” – Tana (B) [09:33]

5. Empowerment & Agency

• Taking Control:
  Both hosts stress the crucial difference between feeling powerless and embracing the ability to respond, reinforcing that every day presents a choice.
  • “You have a choice in how you respond to the stress in your life. I had a choice. I could be a victim of the sadness. You could have been a victim of your cancer. But that's not what we want for ourselves, and it's clearly not what we want from you.” – Daniel (A) [07:32]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Loss and Growth:
  “What for me, that worked just so well was focusing on the joy… I use the sadness, if you will, to fuel the connection.” – Daniel (A) [03:37]
• On Responsibility:
  “I don't want anyone having control over the outcome of my life. I will take 100% responsibility. Since it doesn't mean it's my fault. I sort of got that. I internalized it. And I just immediately took responsibility for my life because it meant I had the ability to respond.” – Tana (B) [06:06]
• On Visualization:
  “I became a warrior for my health, which is what we want for you watching. And I made some simple changes… it just snapped me into gear, like, it was just that powerful.” – Tana (B) [07:10]

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Important Segments with Timestamps

• Personal Story: Daniel on Grief [00:54–03:37]
• Taking Responsibility Exercise [04:13–06:06]
• Fork in the Road Visualization [06:06–09:34]
• Exercise Instructions & Empowerment [08:37–End]

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Episode Tone & Language

The tone is warm, empathetic, and motivational. Both hosts foster a sense of relatability through candid storytelling and strongly encourage active engagement with the exercises. The language is direct yet compassionate, aiming to make neuroscience and psychology accessible for everyday listeners.

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Summary

Dr. Daniel and Tana Amen skillfully blend professional expertise with authentic storytelling, demonstrating that managing stress is possible for everyone. The central practical tool—the "Fork in the Road" exercise—provides listeners with a concrete method to visualize the consequences of their choices and cultivate a proactive, empowered mindset. Throughout, the Amens reinforce the critical message: transformation is a daily process, shaped by the agency and decisions each person brings to the table.

Transcript

[A]

Every day you are making your brain better or you are making it worse. Stay with us to learn how you can change your brain for the better every day. Welcome back. We want to talk to you today about some of our own stressful experiences. So you know that we know this not only from a professional standpoint, but. But from a personal perspective.

[B]

Well, we know you're watching this for a reason. And so we've both struggled. Everybody struggles with stress at some point, and these are some of the strategies we've used to overcome, and we like to teach these strategies.

[A]

So when we first met, we were on a drive up north, and we went through Huntington beach because there was too much traffic on the freeway. And all of a sudden my heart stopped because we.

[B]

Yeah, and you got teary. I remember that.

[A]

The cemetery where my grandfather was.

[B]

And I didn't know what it was at first. And I looked at you, and you were very emotional.

[A]

Well, the saddest day of my life was when my grandfather died, so I was named after him. He was my best friend growing up. And I was in medical school when he died, and he'd had a heart attack, and then he had another one, and then he got depressed, and he was a candy maker and everybody's friend. And all of a sudden, this man I looked up to was sad and would cry and couldn't sleep. And looking back on it, what I learned later is 60% of people who have a heart attack will develop a major depression or within the next 18 months. And people really weren't paying attention to that. And for many years, as soon as I would think about his death, I would just start weeping. And, you know, I've internalized him because now I'm a grandfather. But dealing with that and really working through it was challenging. And you've probably lost somebody that you love. And what for me, that worked just so well was focusing on the joy. Because my best memories were standing at the stove making fudge and pralines. And I remember I'm one of seven children. A lot of people don't know that, and I'm third. My mother actually had four children in four years. She was a busy girl. And so she would drop me off at my grandfather's house, and when she'd come to pick me up, I would grab his leg and say, don't let the woman take me. Because, you know, there. There was attention. There was.

[B]

It's hard to get attention when there's a bunch of kids running around when.

[A]

You'Re part of a brood.

[B]

So we should Talk about the stress of being one of seven sometimes sounds like there's some problems.

[A]

It has its challenges when you have five sisters. I actually wrote a whole book about it.

[B]

No, it's one of the reasons that I actually love you. I have to tell you, he came fully trained and housebroken. There was nothing that stresses this man out when it comes to dealing with women. So I love your sisters for that.

[A]

So think about what you've lost and how do you deal with.

[B]

With it.

[A]

I mean, for me, I anchor my soul, really, in my relationship with my grandfather. But when I then think of my grandbabies, I know how important that relationship is. So I use the sadness, if you will, to fuel the connection. And I certainly focus on what I love about. About him and don't remember just the depression, although I remember it because it helps me be a better psychiatrist. What about you?

[B]

So I think a lot of people have heard the story about when I had cancer when I was young and it metastasized and I had to drop out of school and file for bankruptcy and quit my job. And I became very depressed during that period. And like, we're not kidding, depressed and anxious. I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. And I felt very lost. And I actually had literally no idea what to do. But I remember talking to someone very wise at that time, and they said something so profound to me that really helped me. So there were two things that happened, two quick exercises. And we actually teach one of them now. And I love it. One of them. So this person said to me, how much responsibility are you willing to take for this situation? And I was stunned. Cause I thought to myself, what do you mean, take responsibility? I have cancer. Like, how do you take responsibility at 23 years old for getting cancer? I thought it was such an unfair question. But see, that's a victim mentality right there. And that without saying that, that's what this person was trying to point out. So he drew a circle on a whiteboard and he cut it in half and colored in one side. And he said, are you willing to take 50% responsibility? I didn't ask you if it's your fault. I asked you if you were willing to take responsibility for any of it. Because the word responsibility means the ability to respond doesn't mean you have to take blame. And the minute he said that, he said, if you take responsibility for half of this, it means you have 50% chance of changing it. You have control over 50% of it to change it. And I was Stunned. I just sat there with my mouth open, going, oh, my gosh. It was like somebody threw water on me. And I went, I don't want anyone having control over the outcome of my life. I will take 100% responsibility. Since it doesn't mean it's my fault. I sort of got that. I internalized it. And I just immediately took responsibility for my life because it meant I had the ability to respond, because I never want to feel like a victim. It, for me, is repulsive, that feeling. And that was one thing. That was one of the exercises. The other one is one that we teach, and I really love it. And it's an exercise where you're literally to fork in the road and you meditate. So I really did a deep meditation on this, and I wrote it all down. I mean, I journaled for hours and hours, like, in detail. If I go down one road, the road I was on, and I stayed there, what would my life be six months from then? My finances, my relationships, everything in my life. How would I feel? What would my weight be? Like, where would I be a year from then? Where would I be 5 years from then? Where would I be 10 years from then? 20 years from then? And I remember I was in this meditative state. When I woke up, I was, like, slumped over. I was, like, feeling miserable. And I thought, oh, my gosh, I cannot do that. Like, I cannot do that, and I will be this horrible person. But then I went down the other side of the road. So I did the same exercise. If I make these changes. And I was very clear about the changes I needed to make simple changes. But I made the changes. I became a warrior for my health, which is what we want for you watching. And I made some simple changes, and I went down. What was it gonna be, like, six months? A year? Five years? 10 years? 20 years? And I wrote it down in detail. My finances, my relationships, where I would live, what I would look like. And I literally. It just snapped me into gear, like, it was just that powerful. I was not willing to go down the other road.

[A]

So you have a choice in how you respond to the stress in your life. I had a choice. I could be a victim of the sadness. You could have been a victim of your cancer. But that's not what we want for ourselves, and it's clearly not what we want from you.

[B]

We want you to be.

[A]

It's a great exercise that Tanik did. We call it the fork in the road. So if you just keep your life where you're not really thinking about it. You're just going along what society, quote, has for you, whether it's fast food or being addicted to another gadget or, you know, watching hours and hours instead of getting up and exercising or going down the brain Warrior's way. So that's the street, we'll call it the Brain warriors way, where you're really focused on your health, you're focused on what you want, and you're acting out of love. Love for yourself and love for the people who you care about.

[B]

That's what we want for you. We want you to feel empowered with these tools. So, in fact, why don't you do this exercise? So all you have to do, think of your life right now, where you're at. You can either close your eyes and meditate on it or put some great music on and you can write it down in detail. I actually like to do both personally. So I like to meditate on it and then really journal it out. Because for me, the writing, the act of writing is very powerful. But stop. Think about where you are. Be very clear about the place that you're in at this moment. Then think of a road going to the left. Okay? And I want you to write out where your life will be in six months, in one year, in five years, in 10 years, in 20 years. And be very detailed about what it will be like. Your finances, your weight, your relationships, your career, the house you'll live in, your health, everything. Then come back to where you are now. But notice when you're on that road, notice how you feel when you open your eyes or when you stop.

[A]

So that's if they don't really.

[B]

That's if you're not making changes. So when you open your eyes, when you stop the exercise, notice how you feel inside. It doesn't feel good. Then come back to now, come back to the fork in the road. Notice how you feel. Start over and then do the same exercise, Ride it out, meditate on it, or do both, like I do. And then you want to actually be. Be very specific, going six months, one year, five years, 10 years, 20 years down the road. If you go down the brain warriors way, if you go down that street and you make the changes that you know you need to make, you start exercising, do some simple things, change your nutrition. Follow the tips and tools that we're giving you all along the way. Just subscribe and follow us. We're giving you those tips and tools to become a warrior. And if you make those changes, notice where you'll be 20 years from now. Do that and leave it. Post it. Post it for us down below.